Chapter Thirty Seven
ANAIS
"Ano'ng oras na? Bakit wala pa si Cookie dito?" Dad's face wrinkled into a deep frown as we were having dinner. Usually kasi ganitong oras na sundo ko na siya at kumakain na siya kasama namin. This was his fourth day with his Dada at ngayon na dapat ang uwi niya. Ayaw ko lang pumunta sa mga Cordova dahil ayaw kong makita si Coco.
"Maya-maya hahatid din ni Coco dito yun." I answered as I played with my food.
"Bakit hindi mo pa sunduin nang makapagdinner na ang bata? It's getting late already." Dad said.
"Bryce..." I turned my head to my sister.
"What?" Her brows shot up.
"Pakisundo naman si Cookie, please?" Malumanay na pakiusap ko, batting my lashes at her.
"Bakit ako? Hindi ko naman anak yun." She scowled.
"I can't go outside, I don't feel good." I said, faking a cough.
She rolled her eyes. "Why don't you just call Kuya Coco?"
"My phone's dead." Dahilan ko. "Please, Bryce, dyan lang naman sa kabilang bahay."
"Ayoko nga. Go get him yourself." She responded in an annoyed tone.
"Ah ganon?" I took a pea from my plate and threw it at her.
"Mommy, si Ate, o!" Sumbong niya habang tinatanggal ang pea na sumabit sa buhok niya. She glared at me and threw back the pea. "You're only nice to me when you need something."
"ANAIS! BRYCE!" Mom glowered at us.
"Are we having food fight just like in the cartoons?" Toffie excitedly asked.
"No, we're not." Dad told him before lifting his gaze up. "Girls, stop it. Para kayong mga bata!"
"Si Ate kasi!" Bryce frowned.
"Huwag kang makahiram-hiram ng Louboutin ko!" Pinandilatan ko siya.
"Fine!" She huffed, still wearing a scowl on her face. Padabog siyang tumayo sa upuan niya. "For the sake of Lounoutin, susunduin ko na ang anak mo."
She then marched out of the dining room. Ilang araw na akong kinukulit ni Bryce sa Louboutin heels ko. She wanted to borrow it for her school ball and I kept telling her no. Dad didn't want to buy her a pair because he didn't want her to go to the ball.
Dad looked at me with his brows furrowed. "Bakit ayaw mo yatang pumunta sa mga Cordova? May ginawa ba sa'yo yung gagong ama ni Cookie?"
"Wala, Dad..." I shook my head and tried to focus on my food.
"Are you sure?" His eyes narrowed quizically.
"Dad, masama lang talaga pakiramdam ko." I sighed.
I was glad he didn't press on the subject anymore and we continued to eat. A couple of minutes later, Cookie ran into the dining room with Bryce. Sinalubong ko siya nang mahigpit na yakap at hinalikan ko siya.
"How's my baby? What did you do today?" I asked, stroking his blonde hair.
"Me, Arthur, and Dada were playing rocketship but then Tita Bryce came and told me I have to go back here." Kwento niya.
"Miss na kasi namin dito." I pulled him into a hug.
"Kuya Coco said hi to you." Bryce said as she sat back down to her chair.
I paused at the mention of his name. Hindi pa kami nag-uusap ng matino ni Coco mula nang malaman ko ang tungkol sa babaeng na buntis niya. Nagkasagutan pa kami noong isang gabi nang umuwi ako galing sa club kasama ang mga kaibigan ko. I let out a heavy sigh. I didn't know how to confront him and I didn't know if I really should. May karapatan ba ako? Sino ba naman ako? Kaibigan niya lang ako at ina ng anak niya. It had always been like this since we were teenagers. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako lulugar sa buhay niya. Sa tuwing magkakaron siya ng bagong girlfriend, tumatahimik lang ako kahit masakit na. Wala naman kasi akong karapatan dahil bestfriend niya lang ako. After he's done with his women, I welcome him again with open arms and open legs. It was completely unfair and I hated it! I hated him! Damn him!
"Mymy..." Cookie yawned as I flattened the blanket over his body. I'd just finished reading him a bedtime story and was now tucking him into his bed.
"What is it?" I sat on the edge of his bed.
"Dada said I should ask you if you want to go see a movie with us next next tomorrow." His beautiful eyes were hooded with tiredness.
"Kayo na lang ng Dada mo." I gave him a soft smile as I brushed my fingers through his hair.
"Why don't you want to go?" He asked.
"Kasi may kailangan gawin si Mymy." I just told him.
"Are you going to be with Frutos again?" He innocentyly asked.
"Who?" Kumunot ang noo ko.
"Your friend Frutos. Sabi ni Dada he doesn't like your friend because he takes you home late at night." Sabi ni Cookie. I was sure it was Froilan he was talking about.
"Sinabi sa'yo yan ng Dada mo?" I frowned. What was he thinking when he told that to our son? Hindi na dapat malaman ng bata iyon. Ano bang gusto niyang palabasin?
"No. I just heard him tell that to Papa Nick."
"Oh..." I bit my bottom lip. "You see, baby, sometimes even Mymy needs to go out with her friends and there's nothing wrong with that. Hindi ba minsan dinadala din kita sa mga classmates mo for a play date?"
"So you're having a play date?"
"It's kind of like that. We adults have play date too with our friends." I explained.
"I see." He said. "Is Frutos your boyfriend?"
"He's a guy friend." I corrected.
"Do you love Dada?" He suddenly asked.
Saan ba nakukuha ng anak kong ito ang mga tinatanong niya sa akin? I let out a big sigh. "Why'd you ask?"
"I just want to know."
"Matulog ka na. It's getting late." I reached for his lamp's switch to turn it off.
"When you love someone, does it hurt, Mymy?"
"Ano ba yang mga tanong mo?" I turned my head back to him and pinched his nose. "You're too young to be asking those questions."
"Dada told me that there's a kind of love that when you love someone so much, sometimes it will hurt. Like the way he loves-" Agad napatutop si Cookie sa bibig niya.
"Who?" I drew my face closer to him, waiting for his answer.
"I'm not supposed to tell anyone. It's a secret..." He quietly said.
"Kahit sa akin?" My brows furrowed.
"Yeah..." He nodded his head.
"Ano'ng sabi ba ng Dada mo?" Hinawi ko ang ilang hibla ng buhok niya.
"That's it's top secret and I shouldn't tell you."
"Why?"
"Becauseee..." He yawned. "It's top secret."
Hindi na ako nagtanong ng pumikit siya at hinayaan ko na siyang matulog. I felt a new ache in my chest. My heart clenched with pain and dread. Bakit pati ba naman iyon kailangan niyang sabihin kay Cookie? What's next? Ipakikilala niya na sa anak namin ang babae niya?
"Mommy? Daddy?" I peered through their bedroom door. Mom was brushing her hair in bed, she looked like she fresh out of the shower, while Dad laid next to her. They both turned their heads to me when I called them.
"What do you want, darling?" Tanong ni Dad.
I stepped into their room and closed the door behind me. I walked over to them and climbed in the bed, squeezing my body between them. They both scooted to give me some space.
"What are you doing?" Dad's brows furrowed as I slipped into their blanket.
"Can I sleep here?" I asked after I just made myself comfortable. I didn't want to sleep alone in my room tonight. Dad and Mom were my go to whenever I was sad, lonely, or scared. Being around them makes me feel a little better.
"Ang laki laki mo na tumatabi ka pa rin sa amin." Sabi ni Dad.
Mom put down her hairbrush on the bedside table and slid her head down the pillow. I wrapped my my arm around Mom's waist and rested my head on her shoulder.
"Dad, massage my head." I demanded. Dad's finger started gently pressing on my head. I was already twenty-three but it felt as though I was back to being a little girl again squeezed in between them. I didn't have to worry about anything when they're around. Mom and Dad are still Mom and Dad no matter how old you are.
"Is everything okay, Anais?" Mom asked as she wrapped her motherly arms around me.
"Yeah, I just had a rough day." I exhaled.
"Work?" She cocked a brow.
"No." I answered.
"Is it Cookie's father?" Dad's voice were suddenly sharp and bitter. "Ano bang ginawa sa'yo ng gagong yun, ha?"
"Dad, hindi nga si Coco..." I lied.
"Then what's been bothering you?" He stroked his fingers through my hair.
"Nothing. Gusto ko lang kayong makasama ni Mommy." I quietly said.
"Hayaan mo na nga ang anak mong magpahinga. Let's all go to sleep." Mom kissed me on the forehead, pulling me closer against her.
"But it's too early." Dad whined.
Mom threw him a look of playful annoyance. "Atticus, just go to bed."
"Dad, sabihin mo lang kung ayaw mo akong nandito ako." I pouted.
"Of course, not, sweety." He kissed the side of my head and sighed. "Let's go to sleep. I'm turning the lights off."
And that's what he did. He turned the lights off and laid beside us as Mom and I cuddled together.
"Dad, massage..." I grumbled.
"Alright, princess." He sighed, then I felt his fingers digging through my hair and massaging my scalp again. I let out a satisfied smile. "You women are so demanding."
"Sa'yo naman na mana ng mga anak mo 'yan." Mom commented in a tired tone.
"I'm the demanding one?" The exclaimed, disbelief in his voice. "I spend all day at work and when I get home I'm demanded to do everything. I'm demanded to massage my wife's hurting feet because she's been walking around shopping all day, I'm demanded to make her coffee on weekend mornings because I don't have work, I'm demanded to carry all her shopping bags and wait on her while she takes a century picking out the perfect dress but she ends up getting every single clothing she tried on, and I'm demanded to pay for all those too."
"We've been married for almost twenty-four years and now you're complaining?"
"I'm not complaining, senyorita. I'm just stating my fact." He bent over to kiss Mom on the forehead. "Even though it's a pain in the ass living in a household where I'm outnumbered by three women who are all equally hard-headed, demanding, and bratty, I wouldn't trade this life for anything else in this world. You girls, Cookie, and Toffie are all I need."
"Oh, hon." Mom's voice softened as she lifted one arm to touch Dad's face. Dad brought her hand to his lips and gave it a kiss before laying back down.
"Dad..."
"Yeah?"
"How did you know you were in love with Mom?"
"I've been attracted to your Mom the first time I saw her. She was the prettiest face I'd ever seen."
"Was, Atticus?" Mom questioned.
"You're still the most beautiful woman, Hon." Malambing na sabi ni Dad.
"Did you know right away you were in love with her?"
"In a way, yes. But it took me awhile to realize my feelings for her. It took years. David came into the picture and that was my eureka moment. I hated seeing your Mom together with him, I did everything to keep him away from your Mom."
"Who's David?" I asked.
"Your Mom's ugly ex." I could hear the scowl in his voice.
"Ang tagal na nun, Hon, pinagseselosan mo pa rin yung tao." Mom chuckled.
"He was your first boyfriend. He had your first kiss. Paanong hindi ako magseselos dun?"
"He only had my first kiss. You had my first everything." Mom giggled like a teenager.
"Ew!" I snorted.
COCO
"Bakit ayaw sumama ni Mymy?" I asked while I drove to the mall to see a movie. Cookie was in his booster seat at the back, playing with his action figures. Palagi naman sumasama sa amin si Anais kapag lumalabas kami ni Cookie, ngayon lang siya naiwan. Was she still mad at me? Masisis niya ba ako kung magalit ako sa kanya dahil late na siya umuwi at hindi niya pa sinasagot ang mga tawag ko. I got worried. If she went home an hour later, we would've already called the cops.
"She said she needs to do something." Sagot ng anak ko.
"Cookie..." I looked at him in the rearview mirror.
"Yeah?" He asked, his attention still on his toys.
"May nakukuwento ba sa'yo si Mymy?"
"About what?"
I shrugged. "I don't know."
"I never told her about our top secret." The little monster defensively said, lifting his tiny head up and looking at me in the rearview mirror.
"You didn't, huh?" My eyes narrowed at him.
"I swear!" He put his right hand up. "You said ninja spy agents don't tell secrets to other people. I didn't tell her you love her."
I chuckled quietly. "Okay, okay, I believe you. May nabanggit ba si Mymy tungkol sa akin?"
"Mm..." He thought for awhile and then shook his head. "No. But we talked about Frutos?"
"Who's Frutos?"
"Mymy's guy friend. Yung pinag-uusapan niyo ni Papa Nick."
"Oh Fructose. What did she say about him?"
"That he's her guy friend and that they had a play date but not like the play date I have with my friends. A play date days for adults."
My fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly. My jaw clenched in fury. If I were a cartoon character, there would probably be smokes coming out of my nose and ears.
"What else did Mymy say?" I tried to get more information from Cookie.
"That's it." Sagot niya sa akin.
We watched the movie with my son but my mind was elsewhere. I kept thinking about what Cookie had told me. I thought about it so much my head started to ache. Anais was dating Fructose? Kaya ba ganon na lang kung umiwas siya sa akin at balewalain niya ako?
We ate at a fastfood restaurant and I took him home after. Hinatid ko si Cookie sa gate ng mga Lavigne. Tamang-tama naman na paghatid ko kay Cookie ay dumating din ang kotse ni Anais. I watched as her car stop in front of us.
"Mymy's here, Dada!" Sabi ni Cookie bago kumaway sa Mommy niya.
Anais rolled her window down. "Hi, baby. How was the movie?"
Cookie skipped over to his Mom and stopped in front of the open car window. Anais leaned over to give him a kiss on the forehead.
"Where did you go, Mymy?" He asked.
"Nagpunta lang ako sa grocery. I bought you your favorite." Anais smiled.
"Choco pie?" His eyes widened.
"Yeah but you'll only get to eat it after dinner, okay?"
"Aw!" He suddenly looked disappointed.
I walked towards them and patted my son. "Cookie, why don't you go inside? Mag-uusap lang kami ng Mymy."
"Okay!" Mabilis naman na sabi niya bago tumakbo papasok sa gate ng mga Lavigne.
"Careful." I reminded him.
Anais glared up at me and then she started to roll up her window. Binuksan ko ang pinto sa backseat ng magsimula siyang paandarin ang kotse niya. I slipped inside her car and closed the door.
"What do you want from me? Coco, bumaba ka na baka maabutan ka ni Daddy. Lalong magagalit sa'yo yun."
"This is the only way I'd be able to talk to you."
"Umalis ka na." Mariin na sabi niya.
"We need to talk."
"I don't want to talk to you."
"Ano mo ba yung katrabaho mong iyon? Boyfriend mo na ba yun? Totoo ba yung sinabi ni Cookie? Are you and him dating?"
Heavy silence filled the air inside the car.
"Anais, answer me." I impatiently said.
"Ano naman kung totoo nga? Bakit ba pati yun pinakikialaman mo? Ikaw ba pinakialaman ko sa mga babae mo? You dated left and right but did you hear anything from me? Alam mo ang selfish mo eh! Highschool pa lang ako ganito ka na. Wala kang ginawa kung hindi harangin lahat ng mga lalaking lumalapit sa akin. Para ano? Para may babalikan ka kapag nagsawa ka na sa kung sino mang kalandian mo? So I'll always be available for you?" Her voice shook with anger and tears.
"No, it's not that. Kahit kailan hindi iyon ang inisip ko." I exhaled heavily. I wanted you all to myself, that's why.
"Wala akong pakialam sa mga ginagawa mo sa buhay mo. Wala akong pakialam kung sinong babaeng kinakalantari mo kaya sana ganon ka din. I'm so tired of being used. I can't keep doing this to myself. You're taking this friendship we have for granted." She raked her fingers through her hair. "Hindi lang ako pampawala ng init mo sa katawan. Hindi lang ako ang ina ng anak mo. Tao din ako. May pakiramdam ako. Napapagod at nasasaktan din ako."
"I- I didn't know you feel that way. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I softly whispered as I felt every ounce of energy leaving my body. Hindi ko alam na nasasaktan ko na pala siya sa mga ginagawa ko and that's the last thing I'd want. I never wanted to hurt her.
"Well now you do." She sniffed. "Mabuti pa bumaba ka na at baka makita ka pa ni Dad."
"Anais..."
"Just get out of my car!" She shouted angrily.
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