Bésame mucho [continuation] -George DeValier
Chapter 7
The question kept spinning perversly as Lovino recalled strange signs of his brother's behavior. There were so many possibilities he did not want to think of. What if...what if...
Lovino immediately shook his head, shuddered at that thought. His brother is too innocent, lily-livered towards the German that he even made a white flag, actually two, one more for Lovino himself if he didn't shut that idea down outright, he knew Feliciano couldn't even talk to them Krauts with any other word than "I'm sorry!", let alone having connections with them. He knew his brother wouldn't betray Grandpa, betray him, and their dream of a free Italy.
The chocolate must be someone's gift for him, after all, he is so lovable. Right, it must be as simple as that.
A gentle breeze with a scent of burning wood came across and distracted Lovino from the thought. Grandpa Roma must be starting the fire already. Though, Lovino didn't want to leave this garden, all this safe, restful tranquility where he didn't have to worry whether he could lose Antonio at any time. Right now, maybe just for this moment, let him stay by the man he loved, he didn't want to hide this hanging, aching feeling no more.
Lovino grasp Antonio's hand caressingly, so slowly and discreet as for the Spaniard wouldn't wake up and embarrass him. It was strange how Antonio's temperature always remained higher than him, always managed to give him that nice, reassuring and maybe, the most pleasant warmth he had ever felt. God he hated to admit this. But it felt oddly satisfying to be honest with the heart.
Antonio's fingers were longer, rough with small scars and calluses, though Lovino knew those calluses weren't made by writing.
Were all of this for him? Like grandpa Roma said? He felt a burning, mounting wistfulness. He once felt like his life was taking an infinite path with no end, until Antonio came with that sun drenched smile and took him out of his own darkness. Antonio had stepped inside his heart and gave Lovino everything with his sole existence. Maybe for the first time ever, he wanted to risk it. He wanted to protect Antonio, just like how that man was doing for him.
But for now, he had to wake this silly, smiling, already-awaken Spaniard up.
"Open your damn eyes bastard", Lovino rolled his eyes as he dropped Antonio's hand down wearily.
"¡Ay! No" Antonio's eyes went wide open almost immediately, he giggled, finding his way to Lovino fingers again, his olive skin was turning red because he held his laugh in for too long "You can't blame me, hermoso, how could I stop you?"
As he gently brushed his fingers through Lovino's hand, he touched the silver ring, and there was a small flash of surprise, his soft smile turned into the most resplendent grin when he realised Lovino was still keeping his ring there. The exhilaration lit up his face, those green eyes of him sparkled, fixed on Lovino's. "I can lay here for the next ten years just so you can hold my hand more!"
At that moment, Lovino's face already looked like a ripe tomato.
"You helpless pervert..." he mumbled, turned away so he could avoid the eye contact.
"But you're the bigger pervert Lovino! You took advantage of my unconscious, sleepy body first!", said Antonio exaggeratedly, while covered his mouth with one hand and pretended to sob. Did Francis have a bad influence on him? Maybe.
Ah no, definitely.
Lovino blushed with embarrassment, his temper rose up but he was so flustered he couldn't manage to say a single word. The fingers holding Antonio's hand were trying to escape with little efforts. And Antonio was very much amused by the reaction. "Lo siento mi corázon", he laughed light-heartedly "Forgive me, I was just messing with you." Antonio held on tight to Lovino's hand and massaged them gently to ease down his 'anger', it was certainly the most adorable one he had seen.
As for Lovino, he knew he was supposed to get angry, but looking at those eyes... He just gave up.
Lovino sighed resignedly, he eventually chuckled along, after all he just wanted Antonio to relax and get back to being his ingenuosly enthusiastic Spainish, so maybe a little irritation worth it.
"Next time try not to smile with your eyes closed, idiota...Now get up, it is fucking cold out here"
Antonio sat up and stretched before actually standing up. He helped Lovino to be on his feet as his lovely one kept muttering about how his thighs went numb after sitting for too long with a damn too heavy head on them. The deepening blue sky creeped in like an ink stain as the sun spilled the last of its warmth, heavy and golden. In moments like these, Lovino could feel a sense of time slowing. But then it was time to get back to reality, he hurriedly followed after Antonio.
No words needed, but they both knew there was a stronger, tighter bond was made to their used to be-vapory relationship.
.
It had been two days since Antonio got a decent sleep, or years since he got a defenseless sleep. As he opened the door, the warm air rapidly overtook the cold. He held the door for Lovino before bringing himself in. Roma was waiting by the front table, chin on the hands, they locked eyes at the very first moment as if they could communicate through those sharp glances.
Lovino, however, had a more important thing to worry about, so he broke the tense silence "Grandpa, has Feli returned?" and got an immediate shake "Not yet", his brow furrowed, walked to the kitchen to check for the leftovers, there was some pasta from the noon. Even if Feli get back with no groceries again, they wouldn't starve to death, he thought.
Antonio calmly walked up to the front table, got his somewhat positive smile back on his face, was going to say something. But Roma already knew what it was, "So I thought I will catch you up on the later-half meeting you missed"
Antonio nodded "My apology, Roma." and pulled out a chair "These sleepless nights had drained me" as he rifling through the papers on the table "I got vital details about the American landing you asked for...now that everyone's gone" He finally found the right map and started explaining each red dotted position to Roma.
Lovino sat on the couch while listening to Grandpa and Antonio talk, they always had countless private discussions outside of the Resistence meetings. Clearly, his information was not for everyone's ear. Usually, Lovino would be so eager to hear those discussion. But the top problem occupied his head at that moment was "Where the hell is Feliciano?". This is a sensitive time to stay out late, Lovino was worried if Feli had got himself into any trouble.
However, just right before he could develop any further suspicion, the door was carefully opened.
It was Feliciano who finally came back.
Again. With an empty basket.
He sat down by Lovino, seemed not to be much affected by the hard stare Lovino gave him. He looked as happy as he had always been, but that was the problem. If it was the Feliciano he knew, the execution must had traumatized him so bad he couldn't go out for days.
"You're home late" said Lovino with a low tone, crossing his arms "Again"
Feliciano didn't look at his brother in the eye, he just looked at his dangling legs instead. "Well, it was such a pleasant afternoon. I was enjoying the walk."
"Pleasant? But it's damn freezing today."
Feliciano shifted fretfully. "I like the cold." There. Lovino knew his brother couldn't pull off a simple lie.
Lovino narrowed his eyes. "No, you don't" Feliciano fidgeted with a button. "And where are the groceries? Weren't you supposed to go to the market?"
Feliciano kept his gaze on the floor. "I meant to, but I...um...I got delayed."
"Delayed? Doing what?"
"Picking flowers." Well, that was something Lovino would actually believe. Feliciano glanced nervously over at Grandpa Roma and Antonio, but they were in deep conversation.
"This is the third day in a row you missed the market. I'm not stupid, Feliciano." said Lovino. "I know something is up"
Feliciano looked down at Lovino's hands then stared him cooly in the eye. "I see you're not wearing your ring"
And how is that your problem?
Lovino was going to say that, but the words were left hanging in his throat. He just kept that annoyed expression at his brother.
It was obvious Feliciano was steering the conversation away from its original focus, with such simple words, but hit Lovino straight to the heart. Lovino only got through the initial stage of accepting his feelings for Antonio. Everything was new. He was not used to being vulnerable, uncontrollable of his own emotions. And Lovino didn't have the courage to face Grandpa Roma, not after that suffocating warning Granpa gave Antonio. But truth be told, for the most part, Lovino did not want to repeat the awkward parent-children talk with Roma, he had said they would be talking again today, and Lovino certainly could not find himself confiding in anyone now. So the ring had been taken off before he went inside to avoide drawing his Grandpa's attention. He was still scared.
While Lovino was drowned in his own thoughts, his brother had shifted the attention to Antonio's word. "... the fourth bombing raid harming civilians in the last month. These raids are flying out of the nearby German airbase which is why the American's mission is of vital importance to us." Feliciano had never got so focused on a military report before, he didn't like to hear about people fighting people, not even for 5 minutes. But today's report was different somehow. "It is obvious the Germans are moving on from their counterattacks against the British. Last night their Heinkels killed nearly one hundred non military personnel."
As if it could not be weird enough, Feliciano interrupted and asked loudly "What's a Heinkel?" The room fell silent as Antonio, Roma and Lovino all stared at him. Antonio glanced inquiringly at Roma, who nodded.
"It's a German plane," explained Antonio. "A bomber."
"So, it's these Heinkels that bomb people? Not the Mrs Schimitt's?" asked Felicino impatiently. That question immediately confused the other three in the room.
"The what?" asked Antonio. "The Messerschmitts? Is that what you mean?"
"Yes. The Messerschmitt Bf 109."
Now that was too much. Where did this overly enthusiastic attitude about fighter planes come from? How did he know that word? Antonio was trying to sort his memories out, he knew he had read about that plane. Lovino, however, couldn't wait to break the surprised silence. "How the hell do you know what a Messerschmitt is, Feliciano?"
"I... um..." Grandpa Roma, Lovino and Antonio were looking at him in confusion. "I just overheard it somewhere."
Lovino felt a chill down his spine. As Feliciano could tell when he was lying, he could do the same to his brother. Lovino didn't want to believe his instinct.
"Messerschmitts are fighter planes," said Antonio. "Not bombers. They only attack other pilots."
"Not civillians?"
"No. However...it is entirely possible that the Messerschmitts could be escorting the Heinkels, especially now that the British counterattacks have been slowing down." said Antonio.
"Hmm. That could be a problem for the Americans," said Roma thoughtfully,
"Yes, exactly," Antonio didn't take enough time to process Feliciano's suddenly-changed attitude, it was not until now that he started to notice something was off. Feliciano stared at him nervously. "That's definitely something we will have to look into. Where did you hear people talking about the Messerschmitts, Feliciano?"
Feliciano mumbled "I don't remember" before he quickly kept talking. "And I... I was just wondering... did they, the Germans, did they mean to kill civilians? Was that what they were trying to do?" Lovino could not understand what was his brother trying to say. "It could have been a mistake, couldn't it? I'm quiet sure it was a mistake." Now everyone looked at him like he had gone mad.
Lovino sneered at his brother, he tried to hold back his indignant rage but still let out an angry tone. "Does it matter?"
"I just wondered."
"It seems their target was a munitions factory," said Antonio. "But of course they would have known civilian casualties were an inevitability."
"But they didn't mean to?" asked Feliciano desperately. "They didn't deliberately try and kill innocent people? Why would they... why would they do that, it wouldn't make sense, would it?"
"It made sense to them during the Battle of Britain." Lovino winced "Ever heard of terror bombing? Ask Antonio about Guernica." He could not understand why his brother could forget what brought them to Resistance in the first place. Antonio was slightly surprised, but then he understood Lovino's urge. It was needed to be said.
"I can't... I don't under..."
"We don't always know what the Germans.." began Antonio.
"That's enough" said Roma abruptly. He glanced at Antonio and spoke softly. "This type of talk upsets him easily"
"I just wanted to know..."
"It's alright, Feli," said Roma calmly. "Don't upset yourself. You don't have to listen to this. In fact, I don't think it's a good idea that you do."
"No, I want to listen, I..." Feliciano's hand clenched into fists. His movements were all caught in Lovino's eyes.
"No." said Roma firmly. Then he smiled kindly. "Look, you're tired, Feli. Did you take any photographs today?"
Feliciano's eyes sparked a flush of anxiety before it turned to utter sorrow. "A few"
"Why don't you go and develop them and then we'll listen to the radio before we make dinner?"
There was nothing left but pasta, Lovino thought, his back rested on the sofa, his gaze still fixed on his brother with skepticism. Feliciano nodded reluctantly. He fetched his camera from his basket and headed into the next room.
"Is he alright?" Antonio asked worriedly.
"It's the talk of casualties. It disturbs him"
"I understand, but I think you should ask him what he heard about their Messerschmitts, Roma. That kind of information is vital right now."
"I'll ask him." said Lovino as he quickly got up and took the lantern on the table.
Roma was halfway standing up to stop Lovino, but Antonio lay a hand on his shoulder, shook his head in understanding. Roma was hesitated, then he just let out a sigh, hoped his grandsons would figure it out.
He sat back with his chin resting on his palm, quietly talked. "So, Antonio, where were we?" Antonio looked at Roma, then quickly glanced at the classic round, wodden clock behind him. Roma followed his look, uncertain of Antonio intention.
It was 7pm, almost time for tonight's mission. "I have the rest of the information written in the attached file here" Antonio pulled out some papers from his messy bag and give to Roma. "There's a man that I need to take care of," His eyes darkened, looked directly at Roma's. "The one ordered the execution yesterday, tonight is our perfect chance."
Roma moved his look up from the papers he was holding, knitted his brows, asked. "You will need support, my friend. I understand the urge, but there's no point in risking our most wanted informant."
"I had my source tell me the time and location, it needs to be done tonight before the American landing next week. I had done this times before, trust me, Roma." To be honest, Antonio was quiet confident with this mission, yes it would likely to be his last, there were risks, of course, every mission does, but if it was so, he wouldn't be caught until the mission accomplished.
A typical despicable, awful pervert, he already known what to do. Besides, he needed to get some information out of the man, for personal purpose.
"I don't doubt you, however, it still very risky, especially at time like this," Roma took a deep breath, his brows were still furrowed in concentration. "Tell me the location then, I might have connections, you can atleast use some backup."
.
"Feliciano"
Lovino saw his brother in the cellar dark room, his back turned to him, quietly working with the film. "Hello, Lovino." He couldn't track any emotions Felciano had put in that sentence.
Despite that, he commenced asking "All right. Tell me." his voice was terse.
"I'm sorry?" Feliciano was a little taken aback by the directness of his brother. He still kept his back facing Lovino.
"You're not yourself lately. Missing the market, coming home late. Your sudden interest in Grandpa's conversations about the cause. There's something going on."
"I don't know what you're talking about." His words were shaking, he had finished rinsing and was hanging the film up to dry.
"Well maybe you can explain something to me," Lovino continued slowly. "That chocolate you gave me the other day."
"What about it?"
"I didn't give it much thought at the time," Lovino moved closer as he spoke. The weak light from the lantern made him cast a faint shadow on the floor. "But it's strange, isn't it. I mean, there hasn't been any chocolate around since the war started."
Feliciano's shoulders stiffened. Lovino knew. And he was not going to give up. "No, I... I..."
"Where did you get it?" Lovino stopped right before Feliciano, the dim lamplight shimmered both of their faces in the dark. Lovino could see the flustered tension taking over his brother's expression.
"Um, someone gave it to me, and... "
Lovino's heart was screaming for any stupid answer, but he knew it was not the truth. He slowly pulled out the orange chocolate wrapper with the German writing. Feliciano was stunned when he saw clealry what it was. Lovino stared straight at his brother's eyes, silently asking for a reasonable explanation. The situation was getting into the most unwanted path Lovino thought of, although it should be a ridiculous possibility. He trusted his brother.
As he studied Feliciano's change in emotions, Lovino noticed his brother was rigid with fear, both of them just stood there, quiet. After a while, Feliciano swallowed dryly. "I found it."
"I thought you said someone gave it to you." said Lovino instantly. His mind was more conscious than ever.
"I forgot. I mean, I forget. I don't know. I don't..." Feliciano got his words mixed up, he raised his eyes to meet Lovino's gaze. But Lovino wasn't looking at him. He was staring at Feliciano's hands, unmoving, the dim glow of the lantern throwing just enough light on his face to reveal his incredulous, almost furious expression. Feliciano went gobsmacked when he realised what his brother had just seen, his hands shook uncontrollably. There were two photographs side by side, Lovino saw his brother wearing a familiar hostile aircraft jacket, and a strange, blond man, with a iron cross at his neck plain and clear.
What the hell is that? No. No... it can not be it.
It felt like the world had collapsed, the image of his brother with a German soldier spun in his head, things started to get blurry, that Kraut had possibly killed hundreds of his people, and that thought could only make Lovino's blood boil. He was struggled to find his breath, his mind was falling apart, he could not believe. It was his brother, out of any person. His face was drained out of blood. Lovino was stunned, he couldn't move his lips to talk, made one step backward like a reflex. An immense terror of deadly thought came through his mind. He had to tell them, the Resistance. Are Grandpa Roma and Antonio going to be arrested any second now? He had to tell them-
"Lovino..."
"I never... I never expected..." Lovino shook his head, astonished, almost speechless. "Is this a mission?" he asked softly, his words choked out. "A mission no one told me about?"
"No, it's not a mission."
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