Dancing With Fire (TO BE PUBLISHED)
Kabanata 17
Kabanata 17
"KUMUSTA ANG INTERNSHIP, anak?" ani Tatay nang makasabaya ko siya isang agahan.
Nakaalis na sina Miggy para pumasok, at iyon din ang pagdating ni Tatay matapos kumpunihin ang jeep.
"Ayos lang po," tipid kong sagot, hindi rin sigurado paano siya pakikitunguhan.
Natigilan lang ako nang mapansin kong kakaiba ang kanyang paghinga at nang nilingon ko'y humawak siya sa dibdib at bahagyang ipinikit ang mata.
"'Tay..." I called worriedly. "Umiinom ka naman ng gamot mo, 'di ba?"
He opened his eyes and forced a smile.
"Oo, anak." He nodded. "Ang dami ko ngang supply, salamat. Paano ka nakakakuha ng pambayad?"
Sa black card ko, I wanted to say, but I didn't.
"Hayaan mo na, ang importante ay maging maayos ka. Saka kailangan nating pumunta sa doktor para mapa-check-up ka. No'ng nakaraan pa ako nagsasabi sa 'yo, 'di ba?"
"Hindi, anak. Huwag mo 'kong isipin. Ayos ako. Sa halip na pang check-up, mag-focus na lang tayo kay Miggy. Dagdag din iyon sa pang-maintenance niya," dahilan pa niya.
I sighed. Kahit ano atang sabihin ko, hindi makikinig si Tatay.
"Nasa mga Miranda ka pa rin ba?" Dagdag niya kaya tumitig ako't tumango.
"Opo."
"Wala bang ibang firm d'yan, anak? Alam mo, may mga kilala ako at gusto ka nilang kunin."
"Ayos lang ako, 'Tay." I stared at him, noticing his discomfort. "Maganda ang kompanyang 'yon, at magiging maganda rin sa credentials ko kung sakali."
"Ang... mga tao roon? Kumusta naman? M-May sinasabi ba sila?" He asked. I can't but notice the spike of discomfort in his voice.
"Wala naman," I said, staring at him. "Mayro'n po ba dapat?"
"W-Wala naman." He cleared his throat. "Bakit hindi ka na lang umalis, anak?"
"'Tay..." I held his gaze. "Iniisip ko ang credentials. Maganda iyon para sa resume ko kapag nakatapos ako."
"P-Pero, hija, marami ring magagandang firm. Ako, tutulungan kita—"
"Bakit, parang takot na takot ka, 'Tay? May tinataguan ka ba?" Hindi ko na napigilan ang magtanong. He sighed and looked away. "'Tay."
"Umalis ka lang sa firm na iyon, Sera." Sa halip ay sagot niya, ipinipikit ang mata.
"Bakit po?"
"Basta," he insisted, glancing at me again. "Hindi maganda ang firm na 'yon—"
"May pinagtataguan ba kayo, 'Tay?" I asked again. I noticed his breath quickening and when he looked at me, I knew he was defensive.
"Ano'ng sinasabi mo—"
"A-Are you... involved in the death of Akisha Santos?" Kompronta ko sa kabila ng panginginig ng boses.
Deep inside, I wanted him to deny but when his mouth parted and tears fell, it confirmed everything I was terrified about. Nahulog ang puso ko.
"S-Sorry..." With that confirmation, I failed to stop the tears any longer. Kumawala na iyon,
"W-Why..." I whispered. "Bakit, 'Tay? Bakit?"
"H-Hindi ko ginusto... w-wala na akong naisip na paraan," he cried.
Still stunned, I watched him. My tears fell harder as he sobbed and slowly took my hand on the table.
"P-Pasensya na, anak. Ginawa ko lang para sa inyo—"
"Para sa amin? K-Kaya ko naman magtrabaho, 'Tay!" I exclaimed, sobbing, my shoulders trembling as I broke down. "B-Bakit mo gagawin 'yon... kaya ko naman tumulong sa inyo! Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo!"
"H-Hindi ko alam!" He looked at me pleadingly. I shook my head. "Please, anak... maniwala ka. Wala akong alam na gano'n ang gagawin!"
I tried pulling my hand, but he gripped it tighter.
"Makinig ka, Sera..." he murmured, pleading. "W-Wala akong alam, anak. Sabi lang, magmamaneho ako! Malaki ang bayad kaya pumayag ako!"
I shook my head, clenching one fist as I cried.
"H-Hindi..."
"T-Tapos... nagulat ako nang may dinukot na babae! Wala akong nagawa, Sera! Anak, tinutukan ako ng baril! Wala akong nagawa kundi sumama. Nakita kong pinatay nila 'yong babae! Wala akong kawala, wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang tumulong sa pagtapon ng bangkay..."
Nanlalamig ako, mabilis ang kalabog ng puso. A part of me accepted the possibility of his involvement but hearing this confirmation...
"B-Bakit..." I shook my head, sobbing. "K-Kaya ko naman tumulong, 'Tay. Bakit naman tayo umabot sa ganito?"
"N-Naisip ko si Miggy, ang pag-aaral mo." He shook his head. "M-Malaki ang bayad kaya hindi ako nag-isip."
"K-Kaya ko namang gawan ng paraan!" I sobbed. "Kaya ko namang magdoble ng trabaho. Bakit kailangan mong sumugal!"
"H-Hindi ko naisip iyon, anak," he cried. "Kaya pakiusap, umalis ka na sa firm na iyon. M-Masasama ang ugali ng mga tao roon. Isa sa kanila ang nag-utos na pumatay sa babae!"
Pero patuloy lang akong umiiling.
"S-Sumuko ka, 'Tay, please," I pleaded.
His eyes widened as he shook his head in horror.
"Wala akong ginawang masama, Serafine!"
"Alam ko na 'di mo 'to ginusto, 'Tay! Pero kasabwat ka na dahil sa involvement at nalalaman mo!" I said desperately. "Kailangan mong makipagtulungan para maresolba ang kaso! K-Kailangan na mauna kang magsalita para sa hustisya!"
"W-Wala... ayoko! Hindi, Sera! Wala akong ginawa!" Umiling siya, umiiwas ng tingin pero nakita ko ang panginginig ng kamay niya.
"'Tay..." I sat straighter, gripping his hand tightly. "K-Kailangan mong magsalita para makatulong! P'wede kang maging witness! Saka, wala kang alam, napilitan ka lang! P'wede mo iyang sabihin sa mga pulis—"
"Hindi gano'n kadali, Sera." He shook his head. "Makapangyarihan ang pamilyang 'yon! Paano kapag napahamak kayo ni Miggy? K-Kaya kong mabuhay sa konsensya, pero hindi ko kakayanin kapag may masamang nangyari sa inyo ng kapatid mo, Serafine!"
"'Tay..." I cried. "Please..."
"P-Patawarin mo sana ako, anak..." He sobbed. "H-Hindi ito ginusto ng tatay."
I gasped, quickly standing to hug him. He inhaled sharply and hugged me tighter.
"S-Sorry, anak. Patawarin mo ako. Mag-iisip ako ng paraan para malaman sino ang totoong nag-utos! Nasa mga Miranda lang 'yon, Sera! Gagawan ko ng paraan, may contact pa ako sa mga kasama. G-Gusto kong tumulong pero natatakot ako kung ako... paano kayo ni Miggy?" I could hear how terrified he was.
I am sure whoever that was is powerful. Nakapatay sila ng tao! Hindi na nakakagulat na may mas magawa pa silang mas masahol!
"Tutulungan kita, 'Tay," I reassured. "Tutulong ako para sa 'yo at sa hustisya. Hindi natin p'wedeng itago ito, may namatay na tao, 'Tay. Hindi tama..."
"Alam ko..." His voice trembled. "Sorry, anak. Sorry. Nagkamali ako. 'Di ko ginusto. Sorry..."
"'Tay..." bulong ko na lang habang mahigpit kaming magkayakap.
"Salamat, Sera," he whispered weakly. "Salamat sa pagiging mabuti at mapagmahal na anak. Salamat sa mga sakripisyo mo para sa pamilyang 'to. L-Laking pasalamat ko na anak kita... kahit hindi kami nagkatuluyan ng Mama mo, nagpapasalamat ako kasi nasa akin ka," he whispered.
I sobbed, clutching his shirt.
"Aayusin ko 'to, anak. N-Natatakot ako pero... susubok ako. Hindi ko ginusto ang nangyari pero tama ka at involved pa rin ako. Patawarin mo ang tatay, Sera. Mahal na mahal ko kayo ni Miggy."
I went to the office disoriented and distraught. Gustong-gusto kong humingi ng tulong kay Vioxx para kay Tatay... siguro possible iyon, kung hindi ko lang alam ang motibo niya.
I know... because even if I ask him for help, he would just drop me—drop us—like a hot potato in the end.
Siguro kung hindi ko nalaman, nagpapakatanga pa rin ako, iniisip na totoong gusto nga niya ako.
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"TOTOO BA RAW? Na kapag anong size ng paa tapos divide mo sa half plus one... 'yon 'yong size ng ano?" Napataas ang kilay ko sa biglang entrada ni Trisha.
"Ano ba 'yang entrance mo!" Litaw ni Sir Roff, ngumisi, at naupo sa harapan ko. "Sarap ng dinner natin kahapon, Sera! Thanks sa libre!"
I smirked and shrugged. Thanks sa black card ko!
"Hoy, makinig kayo!" Trisha snapped. "Legit ba 'yon?"
"Aba, malay ko," ani Sir Roff. "Basta kapag bakat at halatang daks, go na ako kaagad."
Humagalpak siya, at natawa rin ako.
"Ganda nito kausap, ano nga kasi? Legit ba—"
"Hindi totoo." Ngiwi ko, kaya napasulyap sila sa akin ng sabay.
"Huh?"
"'Yong shoe size divide two plus one?" I shook my head. "Scam."
"Weh?" She raised her brow. "Hindi nga?"
"Oo nga!" I laughed.
"At paano mo nalaman, aber?" she exclaimed.
"Baka na-try na!" Asar ni Sir Roff. Natigilan ako, pati siya. Ang ngisi ay nawala, at maya-maya'y nanlaki ang mata.
"Paano mo napatunayan 'yan, Serafine?!" he demanded.
"Hindi nga totoo. Mas malaki pa doon sa size na computed mo," I pointed out.
Sabay na umawang ang labi nila, nanlalaki ang mga mata.
"Nakakita ka na, Serafine?!" Trisha exclaimed.
I blinked and looked away.
"Hindi," I said, fiddling with the papers. "Pero totoo nga, mas maganda kapag sukatin mo na lang—"
"What's the size, then?" I froze.
Napalingon ako, nanlaki ang mata ko nang makita si Engr. Miranda sa gilid ng lamesa ko.
"Oh, morning po, Engineer!" they both greeted.
"Mornin'," he greeted, his eyes on me. "Morning, Sera," he added.
I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat.
Tumaas ang kilay ko nang maglapag siya ng pumpon ng bulaklak sa lamesa ko, kasabay ng isang plastic ng takeout na pagkain.
"Ano 'yan?" I asked.
"I bought you breakfast, baka kasi hindi ka pa nag-agahan," he explained.
"I'm full, Engineer. Thanks," I said dismissively.
"Kahit 'yong bulaklak lang?" he bargained.
"Excuse, una muna kami, Serafine... Engineer." Nag-uunahan ang awkward na mga kasamahan ko bago tumayo at nagtatakbo paalis.
I shook my head, muling binalingan ang nakatungo pa rin sa lamesa kong si Vioxx. Kami na lang ang tao sa opisina at lunchbreak. Kaya siguro malakas ang loob.
"Ano'ng mapapala ko sa bulaklak?" I asked.
"What is our problem, baby?" he pleaded.
I sighed. Kumunot ang noo ko nang humila siya ng swivel chair at naupo sa harapan ko.
"Sera... please?" he murmured, catching my hands.
"Nasa trabaho tayo, Engineer Miranda," I said firmly, pulling away.
"Call me Rai," bakas ang pagod sa boses niya. "I don't know what our problem is. Let's talk about it, please? It confuses me. I'm clueless, baby. Come on."
"Eh 'di huwag mong isipin," I said, annoyed of all these. "Walang pumipilit sa 'yong mag-isip."
"Just tell me, baby, please? I feel lost. Why are you suddenly drifting away?" His eyes looked tired. "Tell me, so we could work it out–I could work it out."
"Why bother thinking about it, anyway? Hindi ba pabor 'to sa 'yo?" I asked, my eyes sharp on his.
"Sera..."
"You'll just drop me like a hot potato in the end, anyway." I smirked, watching his mouth part slightly. "So why bother? Don't think about me anymore. You'll be done with me soon."
"Serafine." His brows furrowed, alarmed. "What the hell are you saying?"
I chuckled bitterly and shook my head.
"Baby, please. Please, tell me so I can understand and make it up to you. Hindi 'yong biglang 'di mo ako kakausapin. Nakakabaliw, Sera."
Eh 'di mabaliw ka.
I shook my head again.
"Go, Engineer. Alam kong may trabaho ka pa."
"Sera," he murmured. "J-Just tell me what I did wrong. We can't fix things if you stay silent about anything that bothers you."
"I need cash," I said, staring at him.
His tired eyes softened with longing. He stared at me, then slowly nodded.
"Alright, I have cash inside," he muttered.
"Thanks," I said, looking away, pretending to focus on the papers in front of me.
He remained watching as I busied myself, probably learning what it is that's wrong with me.
"Engineer, meeting po in five minutes," his secretary came.
He shifted his gaze, nodded, and as he left, I was startled when he took my hand and kissed it.
"I hope you'll talk to me," he whispered against my skin.
He touched my cheek, tilted my chin, and kissed my forehead.
"I miss you, baby. Bumalik na tayo sa dati," he whispered.
He stared at me for a while, and when he saw I didn't care, he sighed and left.
Pain lingered in my chest. It hurts me to punish him this way. It felt like I was being punished instead but I have to get through this. A tear fell on my cheek, and I harshly wiped it away.
You are strong, Serafine. You don't need him to live.
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"GO! LET'S GO bar hopping tomorrow!" Sir Roff chirped, laughing.
"Ehem, baka may manlibre d'yan?" Trisha teased our colleagues.
"Walang sweldo," reklamo ng isa. "Sa susunod na lang, Sir."
"Sige na, KJ n'yo naman!" Trisha grumbled. "Oh, ikaw Sera? Sama ka, ah?"
I lifted my gaze and smiled.
"Sure," I said, raising the card I was holding. "Let's all go and enjoy the night—drinks on me!" I chirped, chuckling when everyone celebrated.
It was fun. Puno ng tawanan ang sasakyan papunta ro'n. I didn't know where Lando had gone, but I knew he was following, just not showing himself.
Si Tatay pala ang target nila... bakit sa akin nakasunod ang bodyguard na 'to?
I sighed, laughing when my friends shook their heads at my outfit.
"Balik doon, Sera! We want a sexier outfit for you!" Trisha exclaimed.
I pouted and nodded. Returning to the fitting room, I slipped into a neck-plunge black dress. It was long-sleeved, hugging my curves, but the deep neckline revealed the middle of my chest. It emphasized my breasts better. Saktong-sakto at tuwid na tuwid ang itim na buhok ko ngayon.
Lumabas ako para ipakita sa kanila ang damit pero napansin kaagad ang katahimikan nila.
"Trisha?" I called, puzzled. She was staring at my side, so I turned.
I sighed when I saw Vioxx leaning against the wall beside me, watching with fascination, his eyes on my entirety.
Of course, the asshole's here!
He looked cold, annoyed. His gaze lingered on my dress—specifically my chest—before he forced himself to look away.
"Ayan, bagay 'yan, Sera! Mas gusto ko!" Sir Roff exclaimed.
I tore my attention from Vioxx, smiled at my friends, and nodded.
"I'll get it," I told the saleslady, who was staring at the grumpy engineer.
"Miss," I called loudly.
"Po? Yes po..." Natauhan siya't lumapit na sa akin.
I opened my bag to pull out my card, but Vioxx stopped me. Confused, I looked at him. He pushed my wallet back into my bag, then slid his hand to my waist.
"Charge it here," he said, handing his black card to the saleslady instead.
Her eyes lit up, while my friends gawked at us.
"O-Okay, Sir," she said and left.
I stayed quiet, feeling the warmth of his palm on my waist, his touch lingering. Hindi naman ako hipokrito para sabihing 'di ko na-miss ang hawak niya.
"You're all going to a club?" he asked my workmates casually, like they were friends.
"Yes, Engineer!" Trisha grinned.
"Where?" he asked.
I glanced at him discreetly. He looked handsome, as always. His freshly cut hair sharpened his features. He wore a dark gray long-sleeved shirt, slacks, and leather shoes.
"Ay, wala po. Kahit saan dadalhin ng tadhana!" Sir Roff answered, laughing.
Marco stayed silent, watching us curiously. When our eyes met, I smiled. Ngumiti rin siya pero 'di mawala ang pagiging kuryoso ng tingin. Lalo na sa baywang ko kung nasaan ang kamay ni Vioxx.
"I know a club here. Sasamahan ko kayo," Vioxx said.
I froze and whipped my head towards him. Ano?!
My friends squealed in delight.
"Hindi ka naman invited!" I sneered.
He glanced at me while Sir Roff hissed. "Hoy, haliparot na Serafine. Bakit mo inaaway si Engineer?!"
I rolled my eyes.
"Bakit... totoo naman, invited ka?" I asked, moving away, but he tightened his grip on my waist, pulling me back.
"I'm inviting myself, then." Tumaas ang kilay niya. "May babantayan din ata ako ngayong gabi." Bumaba ang tingin niya sa damit ko.
"Ayoko." I shrugged.
"Manlilibre kasi si Sera, Engineer. Baka ayaw ng dagdag," Sir Roff teased.
"My treat then," Vioxx said, silencing everyone. "I brought my car. We can all go together," he offered.
Nagsaya sila pero nakabusangot lang ako sa iritasyon.
"And by the way, you can choose clothes here in this shop. My treat," he added, sending them into another frenzy.
Vioxx caught my eye. I rolled mine, gasping when he tugged me closer until I bumped against his chest. Tumungo siya at tumalim ang tingin ko nang pantayan niya pa ang mukha ko.
"Hey, baby. Hindi pa rin ba tayo bati?" he asked, caressing my waist.
"Bitawan mo nga ako!" singhal ko't tinulak siya palayo pero hindi niya ako hinayaan.
He sighed in resignation. Mapupungay na ang tingin niya.
"Just tell me what this is about, baby. I don't get why you act like this. Binabaliw mo ba ako?" He brushed my hair aside, caressing my cheek.
"Sana matuluyan ka," I snapped, slapping his hand away.
"Aww." He pouted, clutching his chest. "Hindi ka ba naaawa sa akin? I'm feeling miserable. I couldn't sleep. See my eyes?" He even motioned the black circles, as if they could make him look ugly. "Sera? Please. Let's just talk. I miss you, baby."
"Paki ko?"
He sighed, catching my arm.
"Serafine," he pleaded, pouting.
"Feeling mo cute ka?" I raised my brow. "Ang pangit mo, Engineer."
His mouth parted. I smirked and left him standing there, stunned.
"Grabe, ang galante ni Engineer!" Trisha whispered, clutching her paper bag when they were done with their shopping.
"Naku, Trisha! Maganda 'to kapag sinuot ko!" Sir Roff laughed.
"Enjoying your time, huh?" Pero napawi ang saya ng lahat nang may babaeng pumasok sa botique. Alice Tan.
"M-Ma'am!" they panicked.
"At nilibre pala ang mga kaibigan mo?" Alice smirked, staring at me. I didn't even flinch. I just stared at him directly.
I used to feel nervous around her and honestly, I still do, but there's this air around me that's shifted when I found out their plans. I feel braver, like I don't give a fuck anymore.
"Napadaan ka ata, Ma'am." I smiled coldly.
I stepped forward, shielding my friends, and faced her.
"Ang saya kapag may nahuhuthutan ng pera, ano?" Her lip twitched.
I didn't flinch. Chin up, I faced her. We weren't in the office, so I wouldn't give her the chance to insult me.
"Actually, yes..." I answered. Her lips parted.
"You're a gold digger. You're forcing him–"
"No, Ma'am. I don't need to ask, ibinibigay kaagad." I smirked, contented with the way her eyes widened.
Nagkagulo ang mga kaibigan sa likod.
"Ganyan talaga kapag gold-digger—"
"Engineer Tan." I stopped when Vioxx appeared in front of me.
He stood firmly, slowly placing me behind him, as if to protect me.
Protect me? What a word, Sera. You don't have to associate that word with that man when he's the first one to hurt you.
"Oh, Vioxx." She smiled sweetly at him, biglang aamo na akala mo hindi alagad ng kasamaan.
I rolled my eyes.
"What do you need?" he asked coldly.
"Nothing." She grinned. "Just strolling around and saw an intern—mukhang maraming nakuha at nanlibre pa ng mga kaibigan?"
"I'm with them," he said firmly. "I offered."
My colleagues fell silent. I tried to pull my wrist from Vioxx's grip, but his hold was tight.
"Good job, then." She smiled wickedly.
"Let's talk," he said sharply.
"Okay." She smiled seductively and left.
He looked at me, his gaze cold. I gritted my teeth, annoyed at him and everything about him.
"I'll be quick, baby," paalam pa niya na para bang may pakialam ako.
I didn't speak, stunned when he kissed my forehead before following Alice.
"I used to think baka simpleng harutan lang mayro'n sila ni Sera pero mas pa nga ata!" ani Sir Roff.
"Jowa mo na si Engineer, Sera?" ani Trisha.
Sa halip na sagutin ay nagsalita ako. "Mauna na tayo."
"Huh? Pero si Engineer?" Sir Roff asked.
"Just let him. Kaya naman natin pumunta roon," I said coldly.
"Pero..." They had no choice but to follow when I walked away. Marco supported me while Trisha and the others trailed behind.
Bago pa kami umalis ay naabutan ko pa silang seryosong nag-uusap sa malayo at pigilan ko man, 'di napipigilan ang pusong masaktan. The pain weighed heavily on my chest.
Galit ako, pero hindi ko mapagkakailang mahal ko siya—na siyang naging mali ko.
My friends were excited, but all I felt was anger and different messed-up scenarios playing in my head.
Mag-uusap, huh? If I know, kapag nalaman niyang nauna na kami, he'd probably join her in a five-star hotel and fuck her senseless!
I almost threw my phone when his calls came.
I turned it off and grabbed a cocktail the moment we entered.
"Let's party!" I exclaimed.
"Woah!" The loud music boomed, smoke filled the room, and the DJ hyped the crowd.
I saw couples making out, friends partying. After several shots, my friends convinced me to dance on the floor. Some boys asked me to dance. At first, I declined, sticking with my friends. But after more drinks, I gave in.
Wala namang mawawala! Wala namang may pakialam!
And so... I felt free. Thanks to the liquor.
I danced and flirted, unbothered.
I kept imagining how foolish I was to believe in impossible love. What Rai and I had was impossible. Mayaman na kagaya niya tapos sa mahirap na kagaya ko? This isn't some fucking telenovelas! Kalokohan ang lahat ng iyon!
I remembered his words, how he made me believe his lies—how I hoped, only to be left hanging without a word.
"You're sexy, mind going to my place?" I almost forgot I was dancing with a stranger.
I didn't answer, just grinned. Humawak lang ako sa balikat niya at nakiindayog. We danced, his body pressing closer. Nahihilo na ako sa nainom at sa magulong ilaw.
"Come on, sa condo ko tayo," he whispered.
I hummed, startled when he kissed my cheek, trailing down my neck. Before I could push him away, I gasped when a force pushed him off me. Nag-ingay ang crowd. Naguluhan ako. Nahihilo pa at 'di nagpoproseso ang nangyayari hanggang sa may humablot sa kamay ko at hinila ako palayo.
"Fuck you! That's my girlfriend!" Vioxx's furious face appeared.
Sa lapag, hawak ng lalaki ang ilong niya.
"Tangina—"
Vioxx left me to punch him again. I screamed as chaos erupted. They exchanged painful and angry blows. Marco held me back, pero 'di ako pumayag at ayokong magkagulo! Dahil na naman sa akin!
"Tama na!" awat ko.
Nanginginig sa galit si Vioxx habang kinikwelyuhan ang lalaki. Hastily and harshly, I grabbed his arm and pulled him up!
"Tama na!" I shouted.
He stiffened. Nagpadala siya sa hila ko pero ang mata niya'y nag-aalab pa rin sa galit. Bulagta na ang lalaki. Magulo naman ang buhok ni Vioxx, may bakas pa ng dugo sa labi at gusot ang damit.
"Sino ka ba—"
Vioxx clenched his jaw, ignored him, and took my hand.
He dragged me outside. 'Di na ako lumaban at nanahimik lang, pinapakiramdaman siya. I could see the tension in his body. I could feel his anger. The heavy breathing.
Nang pinagbuksan niya ako ng pintuan ay 'di na ako nakipag-away, sinundan lang siya ng tingin.
Sa biyahe ay 'di siya nagsasalita. His grip on the steering wheel was tight, his forehead creased. I thought he'd take me home, but when I noticed we were on a different road, I finally spoke.
"Iuwi mo na ako," I said.
He stayed silent, brushing his hair back in frustration, his intense brown eyes fixed on the road.
"Iuwi mo na ako," I repeated.
Still, no response.
"Vioxx!" I exclaimed.
"Is it too hard to call me Rai again, huh?" he asked sharply.
"Iuwi mo na sabi ako!" I roared. "Ano ba, saan mo ako dadalhin?!"
"Mag-uusap tayo," he said firmly, glancing at me.
"Para saan?" I frowned. "May dapat ba tayong pag-usapan?"
"We will fix this fucking problem we have, Serafine," he said. "I can't take this anymore. We will talk."
When the car stopped at the parking lot of a familiar building, I scratched my eyebrow.
He stepped out of the car, opened the door for me, but I quickly got out and refused his hand.
He sighed and followed. Malalaki ang hakbang ko, iritado. He followed me. My chest felt unbearably heavy, as if I would explode in rage any second.
He followed me like a fool. Neither of us spoke. My breathing was sharp and heavy, holding back my anger. Mukhang gano'n din siya.
When we reached the floor, I walked out. He immediately followed, trying to grab my hand, but I shoved him away.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I groaned.
"Serafine," he warned.
"Ano, ha? Galit ka? Ikaw pa ang galit?" I faced him.
He closed his eyes, trying to calm down.
"Don't walk out on me..." he breathed, trying to keep it calm. "Mag-uusap tayo."
"Para saan pa?" I laughed bitterly.
"Calm down, okay?" he soothed. His eyes are turning softer. "Let's talk calmly–"
"Fuck you," I cursed and kept walking.
"Fuck," he muttered, following me. Nang tumapat kami sa condo niya ay nakahalukipkip ako't nag-antay na buksan niya ang pintuan.
We entered. Before we even reached the sofa, I turned to face him.
"Ano? Ano'ng gusto mong pag-usapan?" Inumpisahan ko na para matapos na!
He watched me, frustratedly running his fingers through his disheveled hair.
"Sera," he called. "Let's both calm down first. Wala tayong mapapag-usapan ng maayos kung pareho tayong galit—"
"Galit ka?" I laughed. "Wala kang karapatang magalit, Miranda! Para saan pa? Ako dapat ang magalit dahil nananakit ka ng tao! Wala namang ginagawa 'yong lalaki pero sinaktan mo!"
"Wala?" He laughed bitterly, losing his restraint. "He almost kissed you, Serafine! What am I supposed to do, ha? That man kissed my girlfriend! Sinong hindi magagalit, ha?! Ayokong nagagalit ako, pero iba kapag ikaw ang usapan, Sera! Girlfriend kita! Ano'ng gusto mong maramdaman ko? Nakita kitang halos halikan na ng gagong 'yon!"
"Wow..." I laughed in disbelief. "Ganyan ka na pala ngayon? What a good actor, Engineer."
"Sera..." He rubbed his face tiredly. "I don't get you... maayos naman tayo nang umalis ako, 'di ba? Bakit ganito na pagbalik ko?"
"You're unbelievable." Pagak akong tumawa. "You actually don't know? You're kidding, right?"
He shook his head.
"May nagawa ba ako? Is this your way to get revenge? Kung ito, panalo ka na dahil selos na selos na ako! Hindi na ako makatulog kakaisip kung anong nangyayari sa 'tin. Mababaliw na ako, Sera. Please..." His eyes were bloodshot. I inhaled sharply, fists clenched.
"The show has ended, Miranda. Please, stop fooling me. Stop acting as if you care."
"I care for you because I love you!" he shouted.
My heart jumped. I froze but I shouldn't get swayed. Not anymore. Tumitig ako sa mga mata niyang kumikislap na sa luha.
"Hindi kita niloloko dahil mahal kita!" he groaned. "And I don't fucking get why you're acting like this. Hirap na hirap na ako!"
"Lies," bulong ko.
He shook his head, desperately catching my hands.
"Mahal kita, please... ayusin naman natin 'to," he whispered.
"Didn't know you'd lie about those words," I said bitterly. "You're bored, that's why you're doing this."
"Sera..."
"I overheard you," I said, staring into his eyes. "I overheard everything you said. Ano ako, Engineer? Laruan mo, 'di ba? I'm a gold digger, gusto ko ng pera kaya gagamitin mo, 'di ba?"
His eyes widened in realization, lips parting.
"Serafine... let me explain," he panicked. I couldn't control my emotions any longer.
"S-Si Tatay, aamin siya. Gusto niyang tumulong sa kaso ng dating pakakasalan mo," I informed.
"I-I know." He nodded, holding me. "Please—"
"Mag-wi-witness ang tatay. Pupunta siya sa pulis. Nakausap ko na siya. 'Yan naman ang gusto mo, 'di ba? Kaya mo ako dinamay sa tanginang laro mo?"
He kept on shaking his head. "Baby... I..."
"I hope you enjoy playing with me and my feelings," I whispered.
"S-Sera..." Fear filled his eyes. "Pakinggan mo ako—"
"You disappointed me," I let him know. "You made me feel I was special. That you accepted me despite knowing everything I did in this life but it seems like you only tolerated me."
"No! I didn't, Sera, listen..."
"But... hey, thanks for the money. A gold digger like me enjoyed it a lot." I smiled bitterly.
His tears fell. He looked very vulnerable. I looked away.
It was a lie.
Ang galing manloko, Miranda.
"B-Baby," his voice broke. He touched my arm, forcing me to meet his gaze. "M-Mahal kita... please, please, baby. Listen."
I stared at him and saw nothing but an asshole who played with me.
"Oh, I know now what I failed to do again," I said coldly, pushing him away.
His eyes were bloodshot. Sinubukan niya akong hawakan pero umatras ako at habang nakatitig sa kanyang inabot ko ang zipper ng dress at ibinaba.
"You paid me because I am a slut," I said bitterly, stripping off the dress and throwing it to the floor. "You want something in exchange for the money you spent on me?" I stared into his eyes, watching the pain as he looked at my bare body.
"Come on, Engineer Miranda. Sulitin mo ang binayad mo sa 'kin. Let's fuck."
Tears pooled in his eyes. Exhaustion and sorrow shadowed his face. He walked toward me. I thought he'd take me up on my words, but instead, niyakap niya lang ako. Mahigpit. Nanginginig at punong-puno ng init.
Not with lust... but with something else.
Despite the coldness in me, I felt the warmth of his hug. His soft cries echoed in my ear as he held me tightly.
"I love you," he whispered. "M-Mahal na mahal kita, Serafine. Hindi ganito. Hindi ka ganyan."
Hindi ako umimik, mariing nakatitig sa kawalan, kuyom ang mga kamay.
After a few moments, he moved away from me. Nanatili akong tahimik, at nakita ko ang mga luha sa kanyang pisngi habang inaabot ang dress na nakahandusay sa sahig.
I stared weakly at him as he fixed my dress, muling isinuot iyon sa akin, saka ako niyakap at hinalikan sa noo.
"S-Sera..."
I pushed him away.
"Sana hindi na lang kita nakilala," I said, then slapped him.
Umalingawngaw ang palad ko at pumaling ang ulo niya. Dagli kong inayos ang sarili at umalis sa unit niya.
Hindi pa ako umiiyak no'ng una pero nang makalayo'y doon na ako napahagulgol, napahawak sa bibig habang tumatakbo patungo sa elevator.
My phone rang. Inabot ko iyon sa nanginginig na kamay at dinala sa tainga ko.
"H-Hello?" I answered, my voice trembling.
"Hello, is this Serafine Mendez?" the man on the other line asked.
"Y-Yes..."
"Ma'am," My heart clenched in panic with his tone. "Kailangan n'yo pong pumunta sa ospital."
"P-Po? Bakit?" Nanlamig ako.
"Si Mr. Benjamin Mendez po, 'yong tatay n'yo, ay nasa ospital. Inatake po sa puso, Ma'am, habang namamasada."
I gasped. My knees wobbled.
"P-Po? M-Maayos naman po ang lagay ng tatay, 'di ba?" My voice shook violently.
He didn't answer right away. Bumuntonghininga siya at ang sumunod na sinabi'y nagpaguho sa mundo ko.
"Pasensya na, Ma'am. Dead on arrival po," he said.
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