Alone (angst)
Levi was used to being by himself , after all he was an orphan, so when showed affection and attention he was quick to give in, even if it wasn't the kind of attention anyone would want. Just knowing that someone was there for him was enough.
He was desperate.
Just a simple touch would have him wanting more. And so, he was made an easy target for bullshit men who took control of him. They knew he would tend to them no matter what they did to him, no matter how harsh they talked to him, how often they hit him not even how much they told him they hated him. Once they apologized and told him they loved him, he would stay.
His friends started to worry about him and told him it wasn't right how how he was being treated, but he was too far down the rabbit hole of "Love" to listen to what his friends were telling him, he couldn't be pulled out. And when they had their fun, he was thrown away.
Erwin Smith was no different, he saw Levi as a plaything, nothing more than a hole to use when he was in the mood, or a punching bag for when he was angry and couldn't take it out on who made him angry.
He knew how Levi wouldn't fight back , and how desperate he was for love.
As for Levi, he would sit around when Erwin was out and tell himself that Erwin loved him and he was just being mean to him because he was mistreated or because he wasn't good enough.
The thought that he was just doing this to him for fun did cross his mind, it crossed his mind everyday, he knew deep down that none of the men who used him really loved him, he knew they just kept him as a plaything. But what could he do? if he stood up for himself he would get punished, he couldn't run away after all, he had no-one, after all the things he said to his friends there's no way they would help him now.
Or was there?
Hange..., his bestfriend , he knew they would help him, but he was making excuses as to why they wouldn't, he knew Hange would let him stay.
But did he want to go?
He was stunned. he didn't want to go. but why? he was being treated like this and the obvious way out was to run, but he couldn't bring himself to.
Just then, it hit him. The guilty pleasure he received from being used as a thing. he wanted to live this way, he liked it..
He was staying.
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