Chapter 11
author's note: hey guys! are there still people reading this? i hope so. if you have enjoyed the story so far and want me to continue please leave a vote on both chapters and let me know in the comments. thanks for reading.
Chapter 11
Whenever I called P'Arthit to come out with me he always had a reason not to come out. Of course, I knew he was going to avoid me. How can I get this guy to see that I wanted to just be his friend? Actually no, I think he gets that and just wants nothing to do with me, but that is not fair. There's no way I am giving up winning him over, and running after him while he runs away was just making us look silly.
Whenever I come over to eat with him, he is already full. When I want to walk with him, he is suddenly going in another direction, when I call him he sends my calls to voicemail. I am being rejected hard.
It's been two weeks of that and yet, I won't give up. I followed him everywhere; after all I don't have to attend classes for real anyway. I have so much free time and I knew I was driving the guy crazy.
He finally snapped at me. "What is it going to take for you to go away, Kongpob."
"One year." I raised my finger. "Give me one year of your life, P'Arthit."
"Hah?" his face suddenly turned red then ashen. "Are you mad and please don't say something like that so openly?"
We were in the cafeteria where we met the first time and I didn't think anyone around really cared about what we were saying but I hushed down.
"What is wrong with what I said?"
"O-one year, what is that. Do you only have one year to live or something?"
"I have thought about it." he looked at me dubiously, like he didn't want to hear anything I thought about. "You and I have never really had a chance to grow as friends. When we were stuck on that island I really got to see a side of you I have never seen before and really got attached to it. I knew this wouldn't work for you because of your feelings, but now that you have a girlfriend then it should work out."
P'Arthit's face was beyond embarrassed like he wanted to evaporate out of the place.
"Arthit has a girlfriend," P'Bright showed up from somewhere and shoved P'Arthit's head to one side to ask me.
"You didn't know?" I looked between them. As far as I know, P'Bright was P'Arthit's best friend, how can he not know about P'Arthit's girlfriend? They are even living together. My chest tightened a little then relaxed.
"Well no, was there someone like a girlfriend?" he was asking his other friends. At some point, the guys had all entered the café and each of them drew seats to join us at our table. Over the few weeks, I have gotten to know them a little bit.
"Kongpob, come here for a bit." P'Arthit shrugged off P'Bright's hold and got up to walk out of the café. I smiled at P'Bright as I quickly followed behind him.
P'Arthit led us all the way to the next building, the corner of the paint supply store, and in one quick move hurled me against the wall. We were completely out of view and I was standing next to some bags of trash.
He said with a very severe, no-nonsense tone, "Go away. Don't come near me and don't talk to me ever again."
This was the first time he was openly rebuking me, or even acknowledging me the whole time I have been following him around. Having his attention on me, despite the use of his hazer voice, made me thrilled. Perhaps he had meant to intimidate me like I had seen him do to others during the orientation but to me, P'Arthit was always going to be that cute, shy person who blushed easily and was so flustered when I caught on to his feelings for me.
"P'Arthit, tell me," I covered one the hand gripping my collar with a fist in mine. "do you still have feelings for me."
His eyes lost their seriousness and widened. I had thrown him off so badly with that question that he was visibly surprised. Those eyes soon and took on a haunted and almost shamed look before avoiding mine. "How nice Kongpob, to just say whatever you want without thinking. You are so selfish."
"I still want to know, "I stubbornly said and hooked my fingers around his chin to tilt his face back to me. I wanted to meet his eyes and address the truth... but, a groan nearly left me. Ah, why is P'Arthit so cute. I can't stand how cute he is. My heart started to race a little, though I kept on a straight face.
"I obviously can't stand you, shouldn't that be your first clue."
"No, it looks like you are trying to hide something by avoiding me so much. You used to like me but if I understand everything that happened so far, you... don't anymore. You have someone else you like, right P'Arthit?"
"Don't ask me these things." His disgruntled reply made me smile. He was still avoiding looking at me directly so I let my expression show just how delighted I am. How my body tingled with excitement from just being around P'Arthit. I would bet I looked a little drunk on something. Why did I like this guy so much, what are these feelings I have for him. I can't explain them, neither am I going to try. I only need to know that I wanted to be around P'Arthit.
"You have feelings for me, you don't have feelings for me, which one is it?"
"I-if I say I do will you go away."
"But you have a girlfriend, and it's been four years. I would need proof."
"p-proof," his eyes flicked to mine and then shied away. "What kind of proof and why would I even want to give you that."
"Because you want me to go away right? If you really have feelings for me, if I can confirm that your feelings are real and that you can't forget them then... I'll disappear from your sight and you will never see me again."
A sardonic smile appeared on his face. "Your irrationality is showing Kongpob. You've completely lost your mind haven't you?"
"I don't want to hurt you—"
He pushed me away and stood apart from me with a firm but sad look on his face. "So you say but you are the best at doing that."
Even I know that. What I am doing makes no sense and I didn't have any words to apologize to P'Arthit but I hoped to god that his feelings for me were dead. If they are dead then I can just be by his side for a while, get to know more about him. Hurting him is something I am hoping wouldn't happen, not again. So P'Arthit please tell me that you have moved on.
He was thinking about it seriously, that was good. I wondered if I should give him time but then I thought about my mother's message this morning. She sent it to me the previous night and it was the first thing I saw when woke up. It made me a little depressed. The message read:
'You have one year to wrap up everything you have to do in Thailand, Kongpob, after that I want you to come back to here with Nue. Remember your promise'
It goes without saying that Nue is not my soulmate and I didn't plan on marrying her, but while my soulmate remains elusive, I have to go along with everything my parents want.
"Fine," P'Arthit sighed, bringing my thoughts to focus on our conversation. I smiled at him. "I'll give you one year, then after that I think it would be best if you go away."
"Don't worry, I will keep that promise."
"Aside from that there will be some rules."
"Rules?" that made me nervous. "What kind of rules?"
"One, no touching." He didn't flush like I expected saying something like that, "and no showing up in my class for no good reason."
"I think wanting to see you so badly is a good enough reason."
"Kongpob." The warning tone made me make a zip sign over my lips.
"And also don't ask me any personal questions. Such as whether I have feelings for you or anyone, in fact, don't get involved in my personal matters."
"hm, okay."
My swift acceptance seemed to raise his hackles and suspicion. He gave me a furiously distrustful look and I sighed. "What have I ever done to you to make you trust me so little?"
"I just don't get what you get out of this."
"Why do I have to get anything more than a friend? If that is the end of your rules then that means I can call and visit you right. Texting too. We can also go on dates right."
I held back a laugh as his expression tightened and flush slightly. "I think I should take that back this instant. No in fact I am taking it back."
I grabbed his hand and shook it." no way it's already a deal."
"I said no touching."
"It's just the hand."
"Don't touch even that."
"Ah P'Arthit, you are so sensitive, can I tickle you."
"Try it, I will seriously beat you up."
I laughed heartily as we continued chatting off. We returned to the café after reaching a semi-agreement and I found my smile falling off at the sight of Nue. She was surrounded by some guys from the engineering department, but like Nue she was giving them the cold shoulder. Or what looked to others like the cold shoulder rather than a cover for the fact that she didn't know how to talk with people.
"Your fiancée is here," said P'Arthit.
I said nothing in reply and he waved me off before going to join the others by our table which they've quickly converted to their table. I was still thinking whether to meet with Nue or just pretend I didn't see her since I knew she could handle herself when she raised her head of black hair and glanced my way.
Her eyes narrowed briefly with some kind of annoyance then she began to get up. "Hey, we are still talking. Where do you think you are going?"
One of the guys had taken her hand in a grip and Nue's eyes flashed panic. Okay so I gave her too much credit. This little brat doesn't have even a quarter of a spine to withstand physical aggression. I hurried over.
"She's with me," I said.
The guys made a very serious face that spoke of pain as they looked at me, so I said, "we are going over there to join the others, can you let us go?"
They glance towards where P'Arthit and his friends were and their faces cleared of malice in a flash. "Oh, you are one of P'Arthit's friends, then you should have said so from the beginning."
They released Nue to me, almost pushing her away and she stumbled into me. I held her arms to keep her from falling and showed the guys a smile. I wasn't expecting them to let her go because of P'Arthit. Does my guy have some kind of reign over this school? These guys were likely second years and even if they were hazed it couldn't be by P'Arthit.
Well, I thought with a sense of pride, that's P'Arthit for you. He was like that even in high school. I grinned towards him as Nue and I began to approach their table. Seeing me coming, he started to shoot me annoyed looks that could freeze a person.
Ah right, I was coming with Nue. I had no choice. Since I told those guys that we were part of P'Arthit's group, it would be suspicious if I just take Nue outside with me. P'Arthit would just have to endure for a bit. But wait, why does he hate it at all.
"Why are we going to sit with the riffraff, Kongpob." My attention zeroed in on Nue by my side who was leaning really close to me for some reason.
"Don't worry, we won't stay long. Let's just say bye. Besides, I thought you liked P'Arthit."
Her mouth opened but she said no words so I ignored her and got to P'Arthit's table.
"Hey everyone, I hope you don't mind if bring one more person."
Seeing the beautiful Nue by my side, the guys chorused their agreement. "Wow she's so beautiful, is she Japanese?"
"Half," I said with a smile and started to turn around the bench so I could sit next to P'Arthit but the guy's death glare was still being stabbed into me. P'Arthit took his bag pack and set it on the chair I was aiming for, but I picked it up and sat on the chair before putting it on my lap. I then gave him a grin and was ignored.
"Where's your girlfriend going to seat Kongpob. You look like a gentleman from afar but you just ignored your girlfriend."
"Oh, my bad." I was just too focused on P'Arthit. "Sorry Nue, will you eat with the guys before we go."
"I am not hungry," she muttered, her head lowered. She really doesn't know how to deal with people, this was like forcing her.
"Just let her sit on your lap Kongpob," P'Thot said with a wicked chuckle.
"Shut up, Thot," P'Arthit's growl was like cool water poured into the easy-going mood.
"Arthit, why so uptight. If they are boyfriend and girlfriend what's wrong with it."
"She's not my girlfriend," I said, wanting to take their attention from P'Arthit.
"Eh?" their response was almost rehearsed. "Is she your sister then, she is so cute."
"I'm his fiancée." Only some kind of will kept Nue from stamping her feet I am sure. Her face has turned slightly red with anger. Oh boy, I better take her away from here.
"What?" another chorus answer. "Kongpob are you messing with us."
"I wish I was," I said wistfully as I rose to my feet. "It's an arranged marriage so just stop thinking whatever you are thinking."
"We are thinking what a lucky bastard, I want to beat him up," said P'Bright way too honestly. I showed him my pained smile and got up to leave. P'Arthit was just too focused on eating and was acting like nothing going on had anything to do with him so I got a little mischievous.
"We should get going." walking around the bench again, I stopped behind P'Arthit and leaned down to whisper in his ear. It wasn't intentional but my lips ended up touching his soft cold earlobe lightly. "I will be back, don't miss me too much."
Since it was already touching, I might as well kiss it, was my simple thought. P'Arthit was already rigid and the back of his neck was turning red. I wanted to wait and see his expression but I didn't want to get punched so I hurried out of reach.
"Fucking Kongpob!" yelled P'Arthit but I already had my hand on Nue's arm. I threw him a kiss and chuckled at his flushed face. Others would probably think it was from anger but I know better. Ah, P'Arthit makes it so easy to tease him. I am going to enjoy this one year with him.
Once we were outside the café and heading to the parking lot I let go of Nue's arm and said to her, "Why did you have to come here?"
"Are you serious?" She sounded almost as if she had been waiting for this very moment and a torrent of words came pouring out in accusation. "If you didn't avoid me and refuse to pick my calls would I be here? Do you think I like chasing you around, that I don't have my own life, and things I want to do? They don't include coming after you like this and getting humiliated, just so you know."
Since I knew she was really angry, I didn't interrupt and let her finish letting off steam. We got to my car by the time she was done and when I glanced at her she was looking really accosted. This was awkward. Normally I should be giving her words of apology and trying to get her to calm down, but I don't know how to interact with this girl. I have truly been giving her the cold shoulder because of that fact.
Scratching awkwardly at my cheek I asked her, "Are you done?"
Apparently, that was the worst thing to say to her because that launched her into another tirade complete with hand gestures.
"I get it," I interrupted, "I'm sorry, but I told you, Nue that you and I don't have to be around each other. We don't have to force ourselves—"
"And I told you that I don't want to do that."
Uncomfortably I avoided her eyes. I would hate it if Nue was in love with me. Things would just be so much easier if we were both unwilling in this arrangement, but lately, I have noticed things. How should I put it... Nue has become a lot more demanding. Rejecting her was the only option. I gathered my will to do it.
"Look here Kongpob," she said through gritted teeth, "you said it yourself that we are both in the same boat, eventually we are going to get married. I am going to be tied to you and vice versa, so instead of giving me the cold shoulder and avoiding me, I think it is better for you if we at least tried to make it work."
No, there was no point." I'm sorry; Nue but there is someone else I like. I don't have any intention of marrying you."
Her face went pale in one instant, leaving her mouth agape. She stared at me with what looked like raw shock. Why was this so shocking to her? Is it the fact that I admitted it? I have wanted to say it for a while now. with P'Arthit I said it in a random way because... yes I was afraid to hurt P'Arthit by saying no. not just that, I wasn't willing to push P'Arthit too far away, which was what outright rejection would have achieved so I said a lot of things that only confused him.
"What-what kind of nonsense are you saying. Whether you like someone has nothing to do with it." Nue looked really overwhelmed, her voice was even trembling.
"Nue, go home."
"Are you planning to go against your entire family for this person?"
"yes," I answered with an easy smile. She stared at me with wide eyes as if my smiling face was an aberration. I guess I haven't really smiled around her. I held back a sigh. To be honest, my interactions with Nue were so few and honestly hard to remember.
"I see... so that's what you want to do."
"I know this is selfish but I want to continue keeping this status quo."
"hm?"
On her look of confusion, I said, "There's a reason I can't say just yet." Since she is not P'Arthit I didn't think she would take too lightly to me talking about my soulmate. Thinking about it, only P'Arthit would react that way to my story.
"A reason?" her eyes went towards the road and she stared at something. I followed her vision and spotted P'Arthit with his friends. He was doing everything not to look this way.
"I understand," Nue finally said. "But it is cruel of you to keep me as a cover."
"...yeah, I'm sorry" it is cruel since I suspect that Nue has feelings for me, but I might just be overthinking. No, I wanted to be overthinking it because I didn't want to think about her being in pain over this. My selfishness was bound to cause her pain either way without her loving me as well.
"I get it so stop saying sorry, I don't want to hear it. "She walked off, heading for her car parked two cars behind mine. I thought she wouldn't say anything else and was just going to wait for her to leave.
"I won't tell my father about it," she said. "I won't get in your way either."
Was it just me or did she sound near tears? I should pretend to be oblivious. Even if I called her out on it, what good would that do either one of us? I am sorry, I feel awful but I can't help her.
"Thank you, Nue. I will always remember this."
"I don't care if you remember it. whatever." The shaking was gone so maybe it is just an illusion.
She left like that. I wanted to return to P'Arthit but I waited to see her off. When I went looking for P'Arthit, I found out that he was in a class. I sent him a text that I was waiting by the stadium.
His reply was too fast for someone who should be paying attention in class. 'Don't wait for me' it said.
I grinned and texted back. 'I will still be waiting P'Arthit. For a year I am going to wait for you.' I pictured him biting the inside of his lip with annoyance and smiled.
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