Chapter 19
Chapter 19
I didn't know exactly when P'Arthit's wedding was going to take place, I just know it was going to be soon. His family is making preparations, and although P'Arthit and I were no longer avoiding each other, I couldn't ask him about it.
The days went like this: I would go to school even though I didn't need to in other to hang with some new friends, like Aim. I would 'accidentally' run into P'Arthit and we would politely talk about anything in general, mostly about his school work and he still doesn't know that I quit school. After that, we would make plans to see each other later that neither one of us was actually serious about keeping and go our separate ways.
It was working for me, to just have this with him, but as the days moved towards P'Arthit's graduation and the wedding, I became more and more, embarrassingly persistent about my run-intos with him.
P'Arthit jokingly said, "Kongpob, if I didn't know any better I would think you know my schedule."
"I don't, "I answered without an ounce of guilt or suspicion, but I did. I already collected it from P'Thod without him knowing.
Today P'Arthit had three classes. The exams were just next week and he had made it obvious he was going to be borrowing the school library during the weekends. I also had to study so I wanted to ask him if I could join him. I wanted to use this opportunity to sneak out the wedding date from him without his being aware.
Knowing the wedding date meant nothing when I didn't even have a plan as to how I was going to stop the wedding exactly. Still, I needed to know how much time I had left to do anything.
I spotted P'Arthit as he saw me. A smile showed on his lips as he began to approach me. This was why I never felt too bad about my partially stalking P'Arthit. It felt like a full-time job sometimes, but seeing that smile and knowing through it that P'Arthit actually didn't mind seeing me every day, made it all worth the trouble. In fact, he liked my coming almost as much as I liked going.
"Waiting for someone?" he asked in a teasing tone.
"Yes, have you seen him? He is about your height and has your smile."
He laughed. "Wow, you don't ever get tired of being embarrassing do you."
"I am never embarrassing, people call it charming, P'Arthit."
He chuckled. "People? You mean you, right?"
I shrugged, "it doesn't hurt to tell yourself the truth sometimes."
"Whatever," he said, still smiling. "If you are going to keep waiting for me why don't you just come and pick me up. It is such a hassle running to catch the bus every morning."
"Okay."
"I was joking." He gave me a look and shook his head. "I don't think..."
He trailed off but I understood him perfectly. P'Arthit has drawn a line between us that sometimes we forget, but P'Arthit always knew when to draw us back. I can't say that I don't admire it, P'Arthit's resolve, but I also can't say it doesn't set my teeth on edge.
"P'Arthit, actually—"
"Kongpob!" a shrill voice suddenly yelled and I turned. It was Nue. I haven't seen or heard from her in so long that I was almost ashamed at how deeply I had forgotten about her.
"Darling, there you are." Nue she was forcefully smiling and looking as if she was meeting her lover. She quickly lashed on my arm as soon as she was close enough.
P'Arthit and I stared at her wordlessly, unable to react in time.
"Baby, what have you been doing? I called your line so many times yesterday."
"Baby—Nue what are you talking about?"
She stepped on my feet and shifted her head to a car waiting by the road. I could see her father staring over here.
"I sent you so many messages, why didn't you read them?"
I completely forgot about keeping this act going with Nue. Her father must have grown suspicious.
"P'Arthit, " I said regretfully and looked up to see the walls already raised in his eyes. "I'm sorry can we talk later, there's something—"
"No, there's nothing to talk about. You should focus on your business and not concern yourself with others. "His eyes flittered to Nue. "Not when yours is so...important."
He walked away without a glance backwards. P'Arthit's defenses have gone up hard this time. If I leave, if I ignore it and push it away, I may never get another chance.
I pulled away from Nue's grip and went after him. P'Arthit had walked fast and precisely, he probably thought that was the end until I caught his arm and turned him around.
"You are wrong," I said, meeting his widened eyes. "That isn't nearly as important as this so, don't write me off."
"Kongpob."
"I know that you have no faith in me, but please believe me in this."
"What..."
I turned and walked away, leaving him in confusion. I could bet anything that it was better to have left him shaken than resolved. In fact, I needed to keep P'Arthit shaken for as long as I can, that was the only way to stop this wedding.
I went back to Nue and together we both went to see her father. I spaced out a lot during the talk. Nue's father wasn't as domineering as he liked to think, and after a few threats, he let us go.
In the restaurant, we stayed to lay low. Assuming Nue's father had nothing better to do than stalk us, Nue started talking about P'Arthit.
"You told me that there was nothing going on between the two of you but that wasn't what it looked like."
I didn't respond, instead, I checked the clock on the wall. P'Arthit's classes would be over soon, I would like to make it back in time before he goes to work.
"Are you listening to me, Kongpob?" her tone has taken on peevish ting so I looked at her. "Just tell me the truth, are you in love with P'Arthit."
I didn't reply immediately and watched her face grow from annoyed to shock. "You are!"
"I don't know what I am." even admitting that caused a sting in my chest. To think that I would dare to love someone else, that I could love someone else felt like a mighty betrayal to our timeless love. If I meet my soulmate I don't know how to face them.
Still, it was hard to deny that I felt something for P'Arthit, something that felt close to what I feel for my soulmate. I didn't want to admit it, didn't want to face even the thought of it, but it became clearer to me with each day that draws closer to P'Arthit's wedding, each moment that pushed the man who says he is in love with me into a loveless marriage and the desperation that gnawed at me to stop it. I have to face the truth. My actions didn't make sense to me without the truth that my feelings for P'Arthit were stronger than I thought.
"This is way worse, Kongpob. A woman I can understand, your parents may understand, but another man?"
"I don't care." I rose to my feet thinking that we've stayed enough and it was time to catch up with P'Arthit.
"Where are you going?" Nue looked up at me and at the same time, someone called my name.
"Kongpob?"
It was P'Bright. We haven't spoken since he was terribly rejected by Rin. I didn't plan to see him again after but here he was.
The two of us walked out of the restaurant and towards my car. "So after you told P'Arthit that you would marry Rin, what did he say?"
"He refused. It makes no sense to me." P'Bright frustrated pulled at his hair. "You told me that he likes you, didn't you? I thought for sure that he would say yes but he didn't."
"That's probably because Rin doesn't want to."
"But he is my friend. He knows that I like her and he is still going to marry her anyway? Does that make sense to you? I swear I can't understand what he is thinking."
I looked away uncomfortably. Hearing stubbornness in P'Bright's voice both annoyed me and made me feel like I was looking at a warped mirror of myself.
"Have you asked Rin?"
"Are you serious? You know she's just going to reject me outright."
"What if you could make it right with her? You wronged her in the past but if you could do something to erase that mistake then..."
"How?" he looked genuinely interested.
"Her brother and her feeling of insecurities are the two main reasons why she wants to marry, P'Arthit. If we could make sure that he would never hurt her again and at the same time give her some sense of justice for what he has done to her, don't you think she would start to see you differently"
"I already beat the shit out of that asshole, he can't do anything to her again."
I didn't know that but it explained why her brother hasn't been seen since. Rin doesn't know this, perhaps she would be happier if she did but there has to be something more that we could do, or that P'Bright could do.
"A confession," I said. "Can you get her brother to confess all the things he has done to her and finally pay for it?"
"I don't think so..."
I thought about it for a bit and decided it was a good idea. "Do you know where he is right now, P'Bright.?"
"I think so. Even if I don't, I can find out."
I nodded and opened the door to my car so he could get into the passenger side.
I ended up not joining P'Arthit for his reading and I kept my distance and our meetings to the barest minimum so that he could concentrate for his exam.
Every time our eyes brushed as we passed each other, I could tell he had something to say to me but I didn't want to hear it just yet. I didn't expect him to find me, however. P'Arthit actually came to look for me in class and learned that I wasn't in school anymore.
When he called me out of nowhere, I was overjoyed. He made plans with me to meet after his exams and actually meant them. This meant one thing, that P'Arthit was no longer putting a wall between us.
P'Bright already called to tell me that he has done everything and the decision was up to P'Arthit. what decision did P'Arthit make, I was too excited to find out. There was hope that things might start to change.
I rode in a hurry to the usual restaurant and couldn't help noting the décor of the restaurant. Red walls matched with cream and white shelves. Green chairs with red tables.
I took one of the seats and checked the time on my smartwatch. I was ten minutes early so I made to order something as I wait but I spotted P'Arthit through the glass doors. I stood immediately to my feet and watched him walk to me. He stopped by the counter to order something, and then he walked over and smiled.
"P'Arthit?" I smiled back.
"Sit, Kongpob. What are you standing for?"
I sat down with him and he chuckled. "You look happy, what did you do that makes you so happy?"
That caused me a pause. "Nothing. Just seeing you is enough to make me happy, you know."
He nodded. "That's exactly what I was thinking."
I laughed. "You actually agree with me?"
"This once." He raised a finger. The waiter brought us coffee and left. "Here, " P'Arthit pushed the cup to me.
"What's this about though, P'Arthit." I accepted the drink to my side.
"Can't I just want to see you?"
"Not when you've spent weeks avoiding me."
"Consider this a time off."
I faltered. "Then you mean to tell me that we will go back to that again." My good mood took a nosedive.
"I'm moving away, Kongpob so I don't really have a say about that."
"Moving away?" I sat up straight.
"Yes, after the wedding."
"So you are still getting married. "My hands dropped to my sides.
"Of course, why did you think otherwise."
"I don't understand," I shook my head. I didn't even try to hide my disappointment.
"You mean because you got Bright to make Rin's brother confess and apologize to her."
So it did happen. "Then, why?"
"Kongpob." P'Arthit's expression was sad. "Rin loves me, that's why she wants to get married to me. What you did for her was so good that is why I am here right now. To thank you."
"I don't understand!" I smacked the table. "So she loves you, so what. Just because someone loves you does that mean you have to love them back? That isn't right, that isn't how love works."
"Kongpob." He touched my hand and glanced around. "Calm down."
"I am calm, but make me understand why you are doing this."
"At first it was to help Rin gain some kind of security in her life, protect her but really, I just wanted something to distract me from... how I feel... about you." His expression was slightly abashed and it was the most adorable I have ever seen him since we argued.
"Then it became away from me to protect myself. Rin and I, understand each other and we care about each other, there's just no reason for us not to get married. "
"What about P'Bright, what about—"what about me?! That question would only spark something that just cannot be.
"Rin doesn't love Bright. She forgives him, but she can't force herself to love him."
"I don't understand, still. What do you have to protect yourself from?"
He stared at me intently, then he looked away. "You don't have to understand. Just let me spend this one day with you."
"One day, what are you talking about?"
"Tomorrow is the wedding, Kongpob. Rin and I are getting married tomorrow."
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