Epilogue
aUTHOR'S NOTE: So since I am on holiday, I have a lot of time on my hand. my Tine and Sarawat novel would be out in a few days. trying out new fandom in the meantime, look out for it.
I would have had this chapter up and ready to go but thanks to the rain it is coming in now please read and enjoy. don't forget to leave a vote for me, thank you.
Epilogue
P'Arthit was getting married. It was time to stop thinking about it. it was time to move on from that thought. But P'Arthit was getting married. While I was seating in my living room trying not to bite my fingers off, P'Arthit was putting a ring on someone else's finger.
Who else would he put it on, Kongpob. It certainly can't be me. I made a promise and I kept to that promise. I won't love anyone else, not in this lifetime or the next. I can't abandon centuries of love, sincere love, for one lifetime of... confusion.
Why did I have to feel like this about P'Arthit? I thought it would be okay if we were just friends, I thought just having a connection to the person who made my heart flutter, whose smile I liked to see so much, would be enough. It should have been enough if I hadn't gotten so curious. If I hadn't explored the thought of P'Arthit that way, maybe I wouldn't be this miserable right now.
I jumped to my feet and paced a few times. My eyes flittered to my phone one too often as if I was expecting a call, a call to tell me that this wasn't really happening.
When P'Arthit gets married, I will never see him again, will I? even then, the thought of him with someone else was enough to cause my blood to boil.
I am such a liar. When P'Arthit asked me if I would be okay if it were someone else, I said yes but no. no I would not. I would still be as desperate as I was, just as miserable. One side of me knew that that was unreasonable, no one would understand that no one should have to understand that. It is crazy to feel that way but a side of me, a primal and definitely irrational part of me wanted to grab P'Arthit and never let go. It wanted to also grab the first love of my life, my soulmate too and that wasn't acceptable.
"This isn't acceptable, Kongpob."
I grabbed my car keys and started for the door. I needed to be somewhere else before I wore myself out pacing.
The sky was dim with dark rainy clouds gathering as I drove my car without thinking about a destination. I certainly wasn't going to the wedding since I intentionally made sure no one told me where it would be held. It would be humiliating if I showed up there now and made things more unbearable for P'Arthit. He has made his choice and I have to accept it and live with my choice as well.
On my first notice of where I was going, I realized that I was at the school. The university I enrolled in just to be near P'Arthit. The next thing I noticed was the blinking of my phone. I have a message.
It was from P'Bright asking me where I was and if I wasn't coming. It surprised me a little that he had chosen to attend the wedding despite how angry and frustrated he was that he couldn't stop it. Unless he has gone to do something.
I pulled over and began to respond, but my fingers paused. P'Bright knew where the wedding was holding and if I responded to him, I would ask him. I could try not to but I would be very tempted to. Oh what's the use, I still have to respond to him.
But no, I don't want to know. Don't ask him, Kongpob. Just don't.
"Are you at the wedding? "I sent back and carefully put my phone away. Realizing I shouldn't have asked that, I reached for it again, only to see the next message.
"The wedding is off, get here now" the words were popping at me and for a brief moment, I didn't quite understand it.
My heart flew to my throat. The wedding is off. I read it again to make sure I was reading it correctly the first time and then read it a few more times. Then I turned the car around and pushed into the highway with speed.
The wedding was off. How? What happened? Did P'Arthit decide not to go through with it after all? What changed? My mind was crowded with questions, confusion, and hope.
I reached the venue after getting some directions from P'Bright. I was halfway to nowhere when I realized I had no clue where I was driving to, turned out that the place was actually not far from my house. It was an even center and after searching for nearly ten minutes, I found the floor.
I was still lost because I could only see strangers moving around. There was no one to ask and honestly after racing like a jet all the way here, I had no idea what I was trying to achieve. It was possibly a bad idea for me to be here right now. I kept on though, looking for P'Arthit because I couldn't think of doing anything else.
I was turning around cluelessly in circles and happened into what seemed like a row of doors that had a hallway with a red rug. It definitely didn't look like a wedding was being held there but I heard a voice. A familiar voice. It pulled me closer cautiously.
"I can't believe it, mom." She was crying right inside the door I was standing in front of. It was Rin.
"I can't believe I did this, can I take it back?"
"Oh, darling."
"P'Arthit didn't, he didn't deserve this. He really was going to go through with it and I... why did I do it."
"Because you love him, honey." That was P'Arthit's mother talking softly.
I knew I should walk away, this conversation wasn't for me but I stood still, listening.
"Yes, I love him, mom. So much and it breaks my heart to see him so unhappy but I could have made him happy, couldn't I. I waited for Kongpob to come to get him but he didn't, till the last moment. I should have just married him, mom. Why didn't I just do it." at this point her crying became stronger, almost as if her soul was tearing apart.
"You made the right choice." P'Arthit's mom sounded near tears as well. "It was the right choice, Rin."
"Did i? I feel like dying though. Mom, it hurts so much."
"You are not going to die. My dear, you are strong and good, and today you proved to me that true love exists. There is no one who can say that they love someone this strongly and still be able to let them go when it is right. I am so proud of you, Rin."
"But we wasted so much money. If only I knew I would be too chicken to marry him, I never would have let it get this far." Her voice was a little calmer now but still on the verge of tears. "What a waste. I am so sorry."
I stopped listening then and pulled away from the door. Rin called off the wedding. Rin, not P'Arthit. Then, where was P'Arthit? If Rin hadn't called off the wedding would he have married her?
Yes, why wouldn't he? I was the one who didn't give him anything to hold on to. Wherever he is he would likely not going to want me to know. Sighing deeply, I pressed my back against the wall. I was still relieved. Unashamedly relieved and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my mouth. P'Arthit wasn't getting married, for the first time the near panic I felt like a vice in my chest went away, and I felt the wreck I had put my body through for weeks.
I had lost weight because I didn't eat, couldn't sleep well. It felt like there was a hole in my chest and my stomach from emotional and physical pain. It was insane how much I liked P'Arthit. he occupied my thoughts and when I thought he was going away, and that I wouldn't see him again and that he was going to belong to someone else, I lost my mind a little. Now I don't have to feel so anxious anymore, I don't have to stay up at night wondering if P'Arthit was going to get married to Rin or if there wasn't anything I could do to stop it, and wondering if breaking the soulmate bond was the only answer.
I cannot believe that thought crossed my mind and the guilt of thinking it, like it was an option, hurt worse than thinking about P'Arthit being with someone else. A lot worse.
But that was over now and I can finally feel at ease. First I have to eat and then I will look for P'Arthit. Wherever he is. P'Arthit probably wanted to be alone now. I would bet that he never thought Rin would be the one to end the wedding. I will give him the time he needed but I still have to find him and talk to him.
I didn't make it very far before I was caught. I guess it should have occurred to me that I shouldn't stick around and try to find out the full story about what happened, or maybe I should have at least showed my face at the wedding before this whole mess came about because when P'Arthit's mom saw me her expression went grim with distaste.
I should have left immediately, I decided. Standing there with my hand uselessly hanging around, I couldn't decide what my reaction should be or was expected to be.
"So you came after all," she said as she closed the door to Rin's room.
"I didn't," I said thinking it was an accusation. "I only came because—"
"You heard that the wedding was not going to happen. I have you figured out. "she glared at me with heat. "My son and daughter went through a traumatic time trying to figure out what is best for the both of them, the entire dilemma was caused by you but you weren't even at the place you should be. I can't believe Rin expected you to stop them."
I let my eyes remain on the floor, speechless. I can't believe it either.
"Do you even love my son? I don't think you do."
My fist formed unconsciously as I pressed my lips together. I shouldn't say anything. She was right, it is true that I couldn't let myself love P'Arthit. That was why I didn't come to the wedding because I didn't want to do something when I had nothing to give him.
"What are you going to do about Arthit, now?" I realized she wanted an actual answer and I couldn't think of anything to say.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone."
She laughed mockingly. "It is those same people who say they don't want to hurt others that do the most harm. I hope you can take care of Arthit, make all this pain and all this drama worth it."
She gave me a sharp, scathing look and walked away. I deserved that, I thought. Way more than that and I know I have to make it up to her somehow, I just don't know how yet.
I left the event center all thoughts of hunger having fled me. I should find P'Arthit first. He was likely suffering somewhere, hiding his pain where no one can see. I may not be able to give him the love he wants but I can be his source of comfort or source of stress relief. Anything P'Arthit wanted me to be, I am willing to be for him.
I can't find P'Arthit. His phone was turned off, he wasn't at school. None of his friends who didn't attend the wedding knew where he was. They gave me a list of places he usually hangs at but they turned up empty.
I eventually had to visit his place of work. If I was in deep turmoil, working wouldn't be the thing I wanted to do but P'Arthit worked differently, maybe he was here. I asked for him at the reception desk only to learn that P'Arthit was actually a director.
"The director isn't in the office right now. He is on leave, "the receptionist said. P'Arthit had taken leave for his exam and the wedding. Then he definitely wouldn't have come to work.
I was vaguely impressed that he had achieved so much in just four years as I left the company.
After running around looking for P'Arthit and getting nowhere, I decided that I would have to wait for P'Arthit to find me. If he didn't want to be found then he wouldn't be found. That terrified me a little. What if P'Arthit goes away somewhere I can never find, then I would never see him again. That can't happen.
I returned to my apartment because I had nowhere else to go. If I waited at home a little I would go out again to look for him and if I still couldn't find him then, as much as I would like to avoid it, I would have to ask Rin for her help.
I was thinking about how to actually have that conversation and how to fight the awkwardness when I noticed that someone was standing by my door, leaning on the wall. His head was down and his eyes closed but he couldn't be sleeping.
I stood staring wordlessly as the person I was running around looking for remained unmoving in front of my apartment. Was this some kind of a dream?
"Don't tell me you've been here the whole time." I had meant to think that but I ended up saying it and disturbing P'Arthit.
He raised his head first and opened his eyes before turning to look at me. "Where did you go, I have been standing here for ages."
"What—" I said, rendered inarticulate by incredibility. "You," I pointed, "you have been waiting here? For how long."
P'Arthit gave me a look as if to say do you seriously want to know? Then he shook his head and actually started thinking about it. "The wedding ended three no, four hours ago and I came here."
"Immediately?"
"Immediately."
I was speechless again and staring as if I didn't know him.
"Are you going to open the door?" he asked, "I have been standing for three hours now, I'm tired."
"Huh? Okay." I went absently to the door and opened it.
"Thanks, " he said and went in. he left his shoes neatly by the corner and walked socks foot into my living room. "I'm thirsty, do you have anything to drink?"
"Um, yes, in the fridge."
He walked to the fridge, opened it, and stared for a few seconds before pulling out a soda to drink. I was still staring as he drank the whole soda like a dehydrated man. When he was done he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his suit, the same black suit he likely wore to his wedding and stared back at me.
"Why are you so surprised, is it that surprising?"
"Uh, yeah."
"That I finished the soda in one gulp or that I came here."
"You know which one."
He smiled, turned around the counter, and approached me. I was transfixed by his lazy stare and how relaxed he looked in my apartment.
"What are you doing?" I asked, my heart starting to race a little. P'Arthit was coming but he didn't stop coming, therefore backing me into a corner. I held my hand out to keep him away and avoided his eyes. The look in them did things to my stomach that I didn't want.
"Isn't this what you wanted though, Kongpob. The wedding is off and I am here. You managed to stop my wedding without doing a thing."
"So you are blaming me?"
He sighed." no." then he placed one hand on the wall next to my head. "The reason I am not married is not nearly as important as what is going to happen next, Kongpob."
He was too close, his proximity is making it hard for me to think. His hair was slightly clinging to his skin like he had been drenched in water before.
"What is going to happen next?" I asked.
"Now that I am still single and you are still single, Kongpob, there is only one thing that can happen. You have to go out with me."
"What?"
My loud startled voice caused him to break into a smile that touched his eyes. "You have to go out with me, Kongpob." He repeated it like I didn't hear him the first time.
"Why would you—"I was trying to get free from being trapped between him and the wall but he leaned closer. Afraid our body might touch and how that might feel I froze.
"you have the right to say no, Kongpob, but know that I am not going to take no for an answer. " his eyes didn't look glassy, his breath was clean and he was in other words of sound mind but why was he saying this. It isn't like him at all.
"You haven't found your soulmate yet, have you?"
The pause made me realize he actually wanted an answer. "Well, no but—"
"That's good enough for me. You don't have to love me, Kongpob. You just have to be with me and when you find your soulmate," he let out a breath that washed over my face. "I will step aside and let you be together."
"No, P'Arthit, it's not."
His fingers tilted my face to him and my eyes widened. "am I that unattractive?" he asked.
His face was beautiful, clean, his lashes longer than I have seen on any guy and his lips... no. I blinked my eyes back to his. Don't look at his lips, Kongpob.
"You know that you are good-looking P'Arthit."
He smiled so sweetly that I lost my breath and my point of thought. "Then it should be easy for you to do this right."
His lips descended on mine. I had only a second to react but I still wasn't able to process my thoughts right. Those soft cold lips touched mine and pressed firmly on them.
It was clear that P'Arthit was inexperienced in kissing the moment our lips touched but somehow the kiss still managed to send excitement thundering through my veins. I pulled in my breath and pushed at his shoulder.
"No, P'Arthit this isn't what you want," I said. "You can't be satisfied with that, you need to love and be loved."
"I agree." This had me blinking like I was stupid. "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me either, mentally I don't want to be throwing myself at you like this Kongpob, but I want you." His smile took on a watery edge. "So much, I want you, Kongpob. I can't settle for anything other than you. Even if it means throwing my pride away, doing things that I normally wouldn't do, if it lets me be with you then I'll do it. "
This weakened me. I knew I should discourage this, it isn't right and it definitely goes against the soulmate bond, I knew that P'Arthit was just feeling vulnerable and he would regret this later. I should tell him no, I should reject him firmly but... when he looks at me like that. When he touches my face like that, when he feels so warm, and smells so good. When I too wanted to kiss his sweet mouth, how can I refuse? How can I stop this?
Seeing me unresponsive, P'Arthit made to kiss me again. I let him. If I don't kiss back, if I make no action like I am returning his feelings, then maybe the soulmate bound won't be broken.
I moaned against P'Arthit's mouth and found that my mouth was already opened against his and I was practically shoving my tongue into his mouth. The taste of P'Arthit was like a drug, addictive. The minute it touched my lips I was hungry for more and so, so desperate to get it. I actually had my fingers twisted in his hair to press him against me.
I am so full of myself sometimes. Did I actually just think that I had the power to resist this, to resist P'Arthit as his inexperienced mouth sort mine with fervor?
"I can't!" I pulled away, grabbed my keys, and hurried out of the house like I was being pursued.
The end.
Wait for the next part.
Update: next part has started. Please check it out. Here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/281712805?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=naruxsasumi&wp_originator=QoEnyl2f14vqLjOt0RGU%2FFKtfSt9rPSCSVZZ9nzxWb1v52dq235esU8GOWRkqvfkMEduu%2BneFKbybeQdWBGk1XSmt%2B3JxebAX8Ia4nnokXeRup%2BHT0MxW7qiM8NMB5W1
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