Untitled Part 63
Chapter Sixty Three: Put to Rest
Sugawara~
The car ride home from Hamoto's farm had been excruciatingly uncomfortable. Most of the time was spent in silence, with Daichi and Hajime growling and grumbling in the backseat of Hajime's fancy car. It had been difficult for Suga to keep his focus on the road-- the scent inside of the cabin was heavy, to a distracting degree, with Alpha rage. But, he had to admit that he preferred the silence to the alternative. He had half-expected Daichi to lose control of his Alpha instincts right away and, after what Suga had witnessed inside of the farmhouse, he was happy to have not had to deal with it. Truthfully, he had no energy to spare to an Alpha outburst after something like that. It took everything he had to keep Hamoto out of his mind. He had no idea how to deal things in a healthy way, and so, he tried his best to just ignore the whole thing instead.
By the time the group had arrived home, he was fully aware that Daichi was a ticking time bomb. He wasn't looking forward to the inevitable fallout-- he hadn't given any thought to what tactics he might use to calm his mate. Instead, he had spent his time trying to figure out what they were going to do with Hamoto's information. Every idea he could come up with would run itself into a dead end. It did, however, keep him somewhat distracted away from what he had seen back at the farm-- so he kept at it anyways.
As he and the group walked into the yellow house, tense and quiet, he realized that he could be certain of three things; First, he knew, in his heart, that Hamoto's information had been wholly correct. Second, he and Daichi were the prime targets and they needed a plan for the worst case scenario. Third, they would not be able to come up with a counter plan on their own, they lacked the necessary tools. They were going to have to hold out hope that Oikawa and Hajime, experts of the underground, criminal, world, would have ideas for when they all reconvened in the morning. If not them, then Miyo and Ukai.
Before following Daichi into their room, Suga first said goodnight to Oikawa in the upstairs hallway. He promised his friend that he would get some much needed sleep and leave the planning for the morning. All of them had experienced something traumatic, in some form or another-- there was no use in trying to force a plan when all of their thoughts were so scattered...
Fuck, he really didn't want to face Daichi... He was too scattered for that, too.
With that thought in mind, he realized that he didn't really have a choice. Taking in a deep breath, he shuffled down the remaining hallway and pushed open the door to their shared room. His stomach did a flip as he passed over the threshold-- as if it implicitly knew that there was an Alpha outburst on the horizon.
"Daichi..." He said, announcing his presence in a whisper. He gently closed the door, then turned on his heels and spotted his mate. The captain stood across the far side of their bed, his tanned skin darker than usual in the dimly lit room.
Daichi's throat rumbled out, the muscles beneath his black shirt rippling with tension. "You..." He started, the words slightly muffled by his grit teeth. "You should NOT have gone inside without us."
So, they were getting right into things, then.
Suga visibly winced back-- he didn't much like the commanding tone of Daichi's voice. "It was our best option. I knew that he wouldn't hurt us," he said, truly believing his own statement.
He had been certain. He knew that Hamoto had learned how to sympathize with Omega-kind. He was an ally of their plight. There were very little things that would drive such a man to go against such ingrained core values. Suga and Oikawa were absolutely safe in entering the farmhouse with a man like that... Of that, he was certain.
Unfortunately, he had no idea how to explain all of this to Daichi-- his mate was clearly too lost in his own perspective to listen to anything but his own internal narrative. Suga knew that their current line of dialogue was going to snag at some of his own triggers, he had no energy left to prevent it from happening.
"He was never going to hurt us! He would never-" He started, but Daichi's face began to redden and he snarled, interrupting Suga with a sudden verbal outburst.
"YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE THAT, SUGA!" He roared, throwing his hands up into the air. He snarled again, almost instinctively, then began to uncomfortably pace on the hardwood.
Suga flinched back and grimaced-- he needed to hold firm to his beliefs. He absolutely got to decide it because it was his body, so damn Daichi, he could do as he damn well pleased.
"You don't get to make that fucking decision!" He barked back, seeing red. He was not someone to be pushed around. "You don't get to choose what I do and where I go!"
Daichi froze in place, dark eyes showing hints of shock. "That's... That's... THAT'S NOT EVEN WHAT THIS IS ABOUT, SUGA!" He snarled, hit voice hot and loud.
The conversation was beginning to grate on Suga, chipping away at old wounds he had worked so hard to close. "AND WHY NOT?" He shouted back as he took a menacing step forward. "Why not? It's my body, I get to choose what I do with it and where I go with it! If I want to go into the fucking farmhouse, then I'm going to go into the fucking farmhouse!"
Daichi face was hit with another hint of shock, his scent coiling around with frustration. "Don't you dare bring that bullshit into this," he growled, his voice challenging and dark. He paused and a cool shiver ran up the length of Suga's spine. "You don't get to bring in that bullshit. You know better. That is not what this is about," Daichi continued, exasperated.
Suga sucked in a breath, his face growing stiff. He stared his mate down for a moment, too angry to think clearly. Somewhere deep down, he knew that Daichi was right-- he was too entrenched in old wounds right now. He just wished that he had enough strength to banish it away so that he might be more reasonable... He was just too damn tired.
"Bring what argument in?" He asked, his words insinuating. He had done his best to keep the hostility out of his voice, to keep himself calm, but he had failed miserably. "That I have a right to make decisions without you?"
Daichi snarled, enraged by the sarcastic challenge in the questions. His agitated scent burst around the room, raising the hairs on Suga's arms. "What is it you don't understand about this?! DO I NEED TO FUCKING lay it out then?" He shouted, his voice nearing a roar. "You have the fucking right to do and go wherever you please. You have the fucking right to walk into a house, with a guy who has a shotgun , because it's your fucking body. Do with it as you fucking please... "He trailed off, his shoulders rising and falling as more rage began to set in.
Suga readied himself for the bursting scent and loudness that was about to come, but it never did.
"Respecting... Your partner? Thinking about their feelings? Is that so fucking impossible for you to..." Daichi paused, shaking his head as he let out a heavy breath. "I'm tired of this argument. We've been on a good streak with all of this shit and then... Something always stirs us up again."
The words were honest and so clearly tired and worn. Suga's stomach dropped as he heard them. He tore his gaze away from his mate and looked down at his socked feet. His anger flooded out of his system faster than the snap of a finger. He felt... Clarity.
Daichi had remained mostly thoughtful, even in such an instinctual state. Suga couldn't say the same for himself. Daichi was right, he hadn't thought about his mate's feelings whatsoever. If the roles were reversed, he was doing exactly that which he hated-- he had commanded Daichi to stay behind, like a dog. He had treated his mate with the same disrespect he stood so strongly against. But still...
Did he really even have a choice? After the things he saw with Hamoto... Not much else could have been on his mind...
"At the very least," Daichi spoke up. His muscles looked more relaxed-- relaxed and weathered. His Alpha instincts had begun to fade away from his body language. "You owed me a conversation afterwards."
Suga slowly closed his eyes and blew out a breath of air. He absolutely did owe his mate that. He had been swept up in the moment-- the pressure of needing to know the truth, seeing Hamoto and his shotgun-- all he had done was try to remain calm and calculated throughout, but he had failed.
"I did..." He said, looking back to his mate. "I owed you that, I'm sorry."
"I know it was a lot to ask for you to do under those circumstances..." Daichi replied, looking more and more withdrawn. "But afterwards? After we ran into that house, thinking you were dead or bleeding out... That you were going to die in my fucking arms?" He paused, rolling his head back to look up at the ceiling. "That's when we should've... That's when you should've talked to me about it."
Suga nodded, feeling suddenly very small. Daichi's words pulled forth an image of Hamoto, cocking the shotgun at his own chin, inside of his mind's eye. He sucked in a breath, hiding a sudden urge to sob. If they hadn't gone looking for answers, Hamoto would still be alive. If he hadn't pushed the bear-like Alpha into talking, he wouldn't have been forced to relive such tragedy.The thoughts flew through Suga's head, each passing one growing more frantic and disturbed than the last. He managed to catch another sob, but a third bubbled out of his mouth shortly thereafter. In that moment, after Hamoto had done himself in, Daichi's well-being and mental state didn't even cross his mind. In fact, he hadn't really thought of anything at all. He had tuned right out and he had spent the remainder of their travels home distracting himself with his planning. In reality, he probably shouldn't have been behind the wheel in such a dissociated state.
Thinking about everything, it made him want to curl into a ball on the floor in shame. He felt incredibly guilty for what he had done to Hamoto... For putting Oikawa and Hajime in danger... For disrespecting his mate... He wanted to ball his eyes out.
Daichi's head snapped up, as if he was suddenly aware of something important. His brown eyes locked onto Suga, warm and empathetic. In an instant, he crossed the threshold between them and pulled his Omega into a hearty embrace. "I didn't think..." He whispered, nuzzling his nose into the crown of his mate's head. His Alpha scent poured over them, heavy, like a warm hug for the soul. "I didn't even think about... Suga, I'm so sorry I brought any of this up after what you... What can I do?" He whispered, pulling Suga tighter against his chest. "Tell me what I can do..."
Suga felt a strange pang go off inside of his chest. It wasn't painful by any means. In fact, it was quite the opposite. It pulsed out from somewhere near his heart, familiar and strong. He knew, instinctively, that it was Daichi-- or some abstract culmination of their bond inside of his soul. It had occurred a few times before and it always made him feel wholly insync with his mate.
He wants to fix it, but he doesn't know how...
In that moment, wrapped up in Daichi's arms, Suga knew that his mate understood exactly what he was feeling, and why. The poor Alpha just didn't know how to go about fixing it. If Suga knew the answer to that, he would have told the man in an instant.
"No..." Suga hiccuped, shaking his head as fresh tears moistened his cheeks. "No... It's not... I'm just trying to not think about it..."
"Or blame yourself..." Daichi added, breathing into Suga's silver locks.
Suga sniffled, then pulled away to look up at his mate-- their arms still gently interlocked. "And please don't apologize for... For expressing your opinion. I shouldn't have brought up the Omega stuff... I know that you care and I should have talked with you."
"I appreciate you saying..." Daichi mumbled into the crown of Suga's silver hair. "But I shouldn't have even brought it up knowing... Knowing what I know now. It wasn't a fair situation to ask that of you."
Suga wiped a tear from his cheek, then another sudden flash of Hamoto, and the blood, popped into his mind. He clamped his eyes shut and grit his teeth together, willing the sight away. He could feel his thoughts begin to spiral out of control as he struggled to keep a grasp on things. There was too much going on in his brain, it was maddening. "Daichi..." He said, looking back to his Alpha's worried eyes. His scent coiled around, poisoning the air around them with its terror. "What... What if it happens to us? What if it happens to you? What if they..." He trailed off, eyes growing wide in his panic. "What if they find us?" He whispered, so quiet that he could barely hear the words from his own lips.
Daichi's throat began to thunder, low and steady. Gently, he tugged Suga towards the bed, flipped off the covers, and tucked the two of them in. Suga was pulled back into his Alpha's embrace, Daichi's arms strong around his chest. The felt soft against his skin and he inhaled long breaths of the warm air beneath the covers for a few long minutes. His heartbeat slowed and he felt his mind begin to relax back to a more logical state as he wrapped himself in Daichi's protective scent.
"They won't find us," Daichi affirmed, breaking the silence. He smelled into his mate's hair and Suga felt him smile. "We have friends, we have allies..." He paused, then slowly moved his hand over Suga's kidney. He gave it a light squeeze and Suga squirmed, giggling. "And you're pretty smart, so I'm sure we'll be fine if we have your big, obnoxious brain."
Suga felt a rush of warmth, followed by a abrupt and instinctual desire to fuck his Alpha. He loved the man, more than anything-- oftentimes, more than himself. He loved the safety he felt lying there, under the covers with strong arms wrapped around his core.
"Now that's interesting..." Daichi mused, his voice coy. Suga could practically hear him raise as eyebrow.
Suga's brain redirected, away from Hamoto and their dangerous predicament, to Daichi and the large cock, resting against his tailbone. "What is?" He asked, feeling more and more lustful as his Alpha's strong scent melted into his skin.
"You want to fuck," Daichi replied, his tone both nonchalant and flirtatious.
Suga blushed, grateful for darkness under the comforter. He still felt shy sometimes, especially when Daichi called him out on his desires. The longer they were together, the more his mate had picked up on his subtle changes in mood. If sex even remotely crossed his mind, Daichi seemed to know about it, and took full advantage. Not that Suga was complaining...
"It would be a nice distraction. And it would tire us out..." Daichi chirped lightly, grazing a lazy hand down Suga's chest. "The question is... Would it help you out if we did it?"
Suga giggled softly and he grabbed around his mate's roaming hand, feeling around the wrist with slender fingers. There was no doubt that they weren't going to fuck, he might as well be a little bold about things. It might keep his mind away from more unpleasant thoughts-- it seemed to be working so far. "If you fuck me slowly..." He coyly remarked. "If you can last-"
"If you challenge me in how long I can last for you, you're going to be fucked into oblivion." Daichi growled, his scent shifting with notes of dominant arousal. "Try. Me."
Suga stiffened from the weight of the challenge. He felt that Daichi had already fucked him into oblivion, multiple times, but now he realized that they had barely scratched the surface. Smiling under the covers at the thought, he then pushed them back and sat up. Daichi followed his movement, perplexed.
"What are you doing?" His mate asked, cocking his head to the side.
Suga felt out on his bedside table and snatched up his phone. "Setting an alarm, so we're up early to deal with... All that other stuff," he replied, fingering the device in his hand. Then, he set it down and turned back to Daichi. "Now, if you can last long enough, we can..."
He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Daichi had already pounced him.
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