Chapter 3: Sleepless stars
Sleeping is usually a simple thing. Close your eyes and you'll drift into tranquil blackness, or perhaps a world of color and bustling movement-a dream, good or bad depending on the many thoughts, fears, and desires hidden in your subconscious.
A simple thing? Not for Solar. He found himself wide awake, quite irritated by the lack of sleep and abundance of racing thoughts.
Oh, he forgot. The reason why he couldn't sleep was that he was now sitting in a waiting room - quite possibly the most boring room in the universe. Waiting for who? For someone who had almost died in his arms, that was who.
Solar stared down at his hands, twisting and knotting them as if doing so would hold back the chaos inside him. Restlessness roamed the room, expelled through the breath of worriers like him and those doing their best to bite down on the pain that had brought them here.
"Try to relax". Gempa's reminder came to mind as Solar closed his eyes and tried to figure out how to breathe, how to keep himself covered and not move, all at the same time. He took a deep breath and was immediately overwhelmed with dizziness, nausea and an unbearable headache, making it difficult to take another breath at all, let alone do anything else he had planned for today or tomorrow when this was all over and done with - but not yet, no, he had to go through all these motions one more time, and then...
It was unusual for Solar to act like a nervous wreck; the confident boy was always wearing a mask that concealed his true intentions. In this moment, however, it was understandable. He could sense the stares his friends were giving to the gloves half-drenched in blood, momentarily recalling the horrifying scene. Back then, when Solar tried to keep the blood from pouring out and Duri stopped the wound from worsening, they felt worried, frightened, shaking, terrified.
And Taufan, he– No. It's better not to recall that.
As the minutes ticked by, he was greeted by a familiar sight: Fang stepping out of the doorway.
"Commander wants to see you," He blurted out with concern. Fang, too, felt this situation was too overwhelming for him.
Grayish-silver stared back at him, dark circles under the eyes and redness around them, hinting at a lack of sleep. Sleepless nights weren't exactly new for Solar. However, this time - when you knew your family had been on the verge of death only a few hours ago - it hit differently.
Solar didn't say anything, instead simply standing up and walking in the indicated direction, dropping the nervous act as if he didn't care about anything in this world anymore.
He was tired of waiting.
—
Commander Koko Ci sat in his swivel chair, hand scanning through the report. Sometimes, he would give the two young soldiers a brief glance, only to notice Solar temporarily zoning out, and Fang nudging him to call him back. He guessed the boy couldn't help it, as silver eyes darted to the infirmary direction every once in a while.
The alien man cleared his throat, drawing the two teenagers' attention, "So you are saying that the arms dealer killed themself by fusing with the bomb. And the other has been captured by your team."
"Yes." The boy in white opened the hologram screen from his watch, showing the other two a scene from their mission earlier, "Our watches recorded everything for you." He clicked on a specific file from his watch, showing the other two views of the latest mission. One was entirely buried in debris as a consequence of the explosion, and one bore burning traces and a massive hole at the end.
"The station exploded, resulting in an energy surge that caused some sections of the lair to be destroyed, and creating the debris field we were in a few hours before."
"Fair enough. How is Fusebot?"
"Damaged, but I believe it could work again once fixed. Yaya is currently in possession of it; she will bring it to Nut to see if we can deal with the damage."
"Good." Koko Ci nodded in satisfaction, then shifted to concern, "How are the injured ones?"
Solar's expression was unreadable, "I can't say anything about that for now, Commander."
The Commander gave him a nod, then decided to change the subject. It was the wisest decision not to go further into the conversation. He could check on them himself later on.
"Lance Corporal, have you found anything from the lair?"
"Not much, Commander. Though we have successfully retrieved Fusebot, I'm afraid that the weapons had previously been transferred somewhere else. Two criminals alone can't attach such a large amount to themselves." Needless to say, the ambush was not what they had anticipated, "And, what Solar said. The culprit burst into pieces."
Fang could have sworn that he saw a piece of burnt meat.
"Then, are there any clues about their new location? Or the reason why the dealer went to such extremes just to bring a small team down?"
"Ying is still working on it, sir."
"Very well, report to me once you are done. You are dismissed."
—
He looked back on everything that had been happening around him and let his feet take him to where he should go. By the time he got out of his own head, he was standing in front of a familiar door.
An unsettling feeling welled up inside him, and he could feel the pressure building up. His heart started pounding at an increasingly rapid pace. Flashes of blood and panic-stricken faces popped up in his mind. The first time he saw this door hadn't been the best of times.
He quickly passed it, leading himself to a place other than the emergency room. He walked towards the end of the hall to a room he was more comfortable in - a place with no silent judgment, a place with no medical beeping sounds, a place without people watching over and judging him as if he had failed them... Which, in fact, he had. It didn't help much with the memories still fresh in his head, as well as the pain they caused.
As he arrived at the equipment room, Solar composed himself and opened the door, hoping to not draw attention to himself by looking like he was entering someone's room for no reason whatsoever. The door revealed a girl in a familiar pink hijab and a blue-skinned alien with the cracked power sphera in his hands. Yaya wasn't surprised in the least to see Solar again and greeted him with a smile. The alien boy didn't seem to mind, preoccupied with the power sphera.
"So, this is FuseBot." Nut placed the bot on a nearby table and proceeded to examine both the inside and outside. The alien had opened up the chest of the robot and was working on some wires inside its body with an expert touch and the dexterity of an artist. The innards of FuseBot were a mess of cables, wires, and circuitry, but the alien boy knew what had happened, so he didn't panic.
"Well, you can leave it to me," he said with confidence and excitement. As if Nut had known that the little machine in its sorry state would fall apart on its own, he took it in his hands and placed it back onto the metal tabletop, "Though it will take some time. I am sure that with a little fixing, it will be fine again."
"Thanks, we're counting on you." Yaya replied gratefully just as she received a message on her watch, "Oh, I gotta go. Gopal is calling me, it's about the new mission."
She waved goodbye to the two boys as she rushed off, leaving Solar and Nut in the room together. Solar approached Fusebot to have a closer look at it. The sphera was staring at him, looking as if its shattered screen was peering directly into his soul. He hoped for some kind of reaction, but he could tell it was an empty gesture - just like talking to a rock or a tree.
So this was what they had fought for.
"Is there anything I can help with?" The boy in white inquired, attempting to hide his nervousness, though he wasn't sure what he was even worried about. He could see Nut's skeptical expression under his orange glasses. He knew it would not be an approval.
"Actually yes, but I would rather you get some sleep."
"It is not necessary-"
"How are they?"
The question successfully shut Solar up for a while. The Earthling rubbed the back of his head. Nut's eyes followed the gesture before looking down at the floor. The lad had the sudden urge to lie, but there was no point in doing so with the truth obvious to them both, so he merely shrugged, "Duri was just exhausted. Blaze and Ais were injured, but not too badly. The other three, not so good."
After a brief period of silence, Nut nodded once and said, "I understand."
"The same could be said to you if you keep tiring yourself out like that." The alien teen then turned away from his friend, "Seriously, you need to sleep; you've been through too much, and we all need to be prepared if anything happens, no matter how small or trivial it seems. I will ask for you if I need to, so go and get some sleep - or I'll kick you out of the equipment room myself."
Solar grumbled before looking up at Nut with a raised brow, "Fine, as you wish." Nut playfully rolled his eyes before smiling and patting Solar on the shoulder and watching the other leave the room.
Solar now had some time alone to think about everything that had happened today. That was not something he appreciated though, after what they had gone through. Everything seemed to have been so much more intense than he had expected.
—
Blaze gulped while looking down at his leg, which was as twisted as a pretzel, and felt his ankle throbbing with pain. He struggled to lift himself up but the pain made him feel dizzy, and so he had given up on trying to stand on his own feet.
Ah, a broken leg was such torture for him. Even getting burned sounded much better, as long as he could still run around and mess with people. However, if he kept that thought in his mind, there was no doubt his elder brothers would give him a full hour of lectures.
But they were not here.
"Ready?" Emerald eyes looked to him for permission. Oh, this was gonna hurt like hell. He had no idea whether being awake was really a curse or a blessing, but right now he dearly wished he could be deep in slumber like his polar bear twin.
A nod from him was enough for Duri to start doing his job.
"Ow, ow, OW! Duri, that hurt!!"
"Now, now, Blaze. Relax. You know I could make your injury worse if you keep struggling like that." The boy clad in green twisted the red one's ankle, followed by a "crack" and Blaze's agonized noises. "And done! Lucky you, only one of your legs got broken. Stay there, Imma find you some ice and bandages."
"If you think I can move in this state then you are overestimating me."
"You have done far worse."
"Hey!"
Ignoring Blaze's complaint while still chuckling at his sibling's antics, Duri immediately went off to find what the latter needed, only to be greeted by Solar's tired face. He frowned as he looked down at his sibling; Solar was a mess. It was clear that the younger hadn't gotten any sleep either; he wasn't sure if he was relieved or irritated by the fact he still had stayed up till now and let Duri see his face.
"You know you could make it worse if you didn't follow the right technique...?" Solar folded his arms. The question proved that the youngest had witnessed everything.
"Oh, but I'm an expert at this." Came the snarky reply. Solar rolled his eyes, groaning in exasperation before eventually following his twin to where he was headed. Well, it was better this way than dealing with Blaze's nagging.
There was a moment of silence as they walked; the only sound that could be heard was their footsteps on the floor. Soon enough, they passed the area where those sounds were drowned out by the hum of an engine in the distance and the rumbling of spaceships. Approaching mop aliens could be heard as well as the voices of occupants talking from within.
"How are they?"
Duri was the one who broke the silence first.
"Sorry, haven't heard any news from them." Solar wouldn't mention the part where he had deliberately avoided the emergency room. He didn't want to talk too much about this because of how much he hated being there. He was supposed to be there for them, yes, but Solar still needed time for that.
He needed time to get through whatever the hell was going on with them.
Duri nodded in understanding. He wouldn't ask why; both of them had some kind of telepathy - a twin thing? He was aware that Duri must have been very curious about what happened for Solar to leave them in such a hurry before calling him back with questions of their predicament. And Duri just simply knew that none of them were comfortable with the subject just yet.
Even if Solar actually did have some news about them, he wouldn't have wanted to share anything (in detail) because he knew how worried his twin would get. The youngest would never let him feel down and worry about anything that could possibly happen in the future.
The next answer was not what he expected.
"I should be the one who said that. After all, I was not able to heal y'all."
Was he blaming himself the whole time?
"Not your fault. You are exhausted, too. We all are." Solar said as he stopped in his tracks. He despised how bad he was at comforting. "And... thank you."
"For what?" Duri raised his eyebrows, completely dumbfounded, knowing too well he hadn't helped them with even a thing.
"For not freaking out? I guess."
The youngest showed him the blood-soaked gloves, referring to when they had both been desperate to save Taufan's life. If Duri hadn't been there, Solar might have made another mistake. His brothers must have been aware of this after what he did in the battles with Vargoba and Retak'ka, and consequently made sure not to let him drown in guilt for the umpteenth time.
He was about to continue when another pair of hands clasped his own, and he heard Duri reply with a genuine smile,
"It's nothing, Sol. I just don't want to be a burden."
"You are not," he muttered, "You never were."
Duri chuckled slightly at Solar's response before continuing with a more cheery tone, "Right. Thanks, genius." And an emphasis at the end of the sentence.
And now Solar once again wants to gift his dearest twin a punch to the face–
"Hey," Duri pointed to his eye, particularly the area under it, "Get some rest. I already got some myself, so I'll handle it from here."
And so the precious moment of peace had been interrupted. Please don't, not this again.
"I'm fine."
He wanted to yell back at him, even when he knew Duri would be able to see through his lie.
"Oh really? Yeah, look at you, you're really glowing bright as day."
"Duri, now is not the time to start an argument-"
"I know, that's why I have to get you to rest before you make another silly decision!" Duri faced him with a stern look mixed with worry, answering him in an annoyed tone, "Such as going to your lab and burying yourself in experiments while your body is demanding sleep. I bet you don't even have the energy to give me a proper comeback right now."
Great, just great, how those lime eyes confirm his sibling's distress. The youngest had missed a hint of guilt in Duri's words, but he could sense the nervousness from his twin. The next thing to come out of Duri was a faint sigh accompanied by him absentmindedly rubbing his hands together.
"I'm sorry, that was too much." his voice was soft, yet earnest, "All I wanna say is- If you're making decisions while tired, you're basically... 'drunk driving' your life. And I know that was the least thing you expected, given all that's going on with us right now.
"So sleep, rest and decide nothing until you feel better." His sibling cast him one last glance before went his own way, "Gempa would say the same, right?"
And, as much as he hates admitting this, Duri was right.
Only Solar did not want to accept it.
He didn't like how vulnerable he felt right now. The youngest shook his head slowly as he thought about everything that had happened since they'd left for the mission: first the attack, then the rescue attempt, then their fight against those guys, and finally arriving at this place.
It was too peaceful for what had just happened.
He gazed at the vast universe on the other side of the glass. Billions of miniature sparkling stars, flaming stars blooming in the velvet black, they all stared back at him. A gargantuan shooting star danced gracefully across them. The brilliant light of the Milky Way magnificently contrasted the blackness of space.
Outer space was so vibrant, and yet it made him feel so cold and lonely.
Perhaps he could go to his and Duri's shared room and try to sleep for a bit before heading into the emergency room to check on the others, hoping they'd all make it through the night without mishap. Eventually, everything would be fine, wouldn't it? They were strong, they had been through countless other traumatic experiences that could cause lasting effects on one's mental health. It wasn't like this was the first mission in which they had gotten into some sort of trouble or injury– Ah, nevermind.
His body ached from all the work he had put in. He felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him as he thought about how hard he was working, and for so long at once. Solar lay on his bed, then tossed and turned, trying to find some sense of comfort. Nah, that wouldn't work. He stared at the ceiling above him, feeling as if a thousand bugs were crawling over his skin and biting him all at once.
Sure, it was sweet that Duri cared about his little brother. But Solar was the overthinking type, and what could he do about that? Even when his brain was on five percent battery, those thoughts would continue to hunt him down. He knew that it would just be a matter of time before he passed out from exhaustion, but he couldn't stop thinking about them. Solar did wish to rest and soak in the calm peace. He wished.
It was almost midnight now, almost a day after that mission. And there was still no sign of them waking up from their injuries—which meant that there wasn't any chance of them getting better anytime soon, at least not without a miracle or an external source of energy to help them heal faster.
He stared at his blood-drenched gloves on the bedside table and the outer vest that had been split apart.
Allah should have given him a sign if he truly wanted him to get some sleep tonight.
[To be continued...]
A/N: The reactions were, honestly, beyond my expectations.
Lots of love to lolaeverye for helping me with the beta reading! Well, I suggest you guys go back and re-read my first chapters since she has polished up certain grammar mistakes that have caused some misunderstandings in the story. Yeah and also, please check out her works guys, they are awesome!
Unfortunately, I'll take a break from the fandom for a while, so the next chapters might as well be delayed. Again, hopefully not too long. Thanks for reading, hope y'all have a nice day!
Lola, if you see this and notice any grammar mistakes, please let me get away with them this time lmao.
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