Kabanata 5
Kabanata 5
I may be weird and a coward but after I kissed him... I ran away like an idiot, again.
That was my first kiss! Oh my God! Oh my God!
"Okay ka lang, Darsh?" Napatalon ako at lumingon sa katabi ko sa kotse na si Scira at napakurap-kurap ako.
"Ang sherep 'te..." I muttered.
"Huh?" Her forehead creased, miski si Zire na nasa unahan ay nilingon ako at nanlaki ang mata.
"Anong mesherep?!" She asked, making me flinch, napahawak ako sa aking dibdib.
"Huh?!" I gasped.
"Huh?" They said in unison.
"Hatdog!" Isang hagalpak ni Kuya Zion ay sabay-sabay kaming napalingon sa kanya sa harapan. I saw his blue eyes glistened as he smirked at us, chuckling.
"Kuya!" Zire smacked his arm. Kuya Zy laughed more and glanced at me in the mirror.
"You okay, Daru?" He asked at dali-dali akong tumango, kinakabahan.
"Opo, Kuya." I smiled at him.
His brow raised at me, mukhang naghihinala. "Anong mesherep? Alam ba ni Macky-macaroni, 'yan?"
I gulped a bit and almost choke on my saliva, umiling ako sa kanila at itinaas ang aking kamay.
"W-wala naman, Kuya...wala," I said. "Masarap lang 'yong ano, shake sa canteen." I explained.
"Hmm, okay, akala ko ano na. Baka ma-beast mode si Marcus-beybe." He hummed, nangingisi at bumalik ng tingin sa daanan.
I was preoccupied the whole time, saktong paglabas ko na parang tanga ay nag-message ang Kuya Marcus na sumabay muna ako sa mga pinsan dahil nasiraan ng gulong ang kotse namin habang nasa daan, kaya pagkababa ko ay kumakaway na sa akin ang dalawang pinsan at si Kuya Zion na nakasandal sa kotse niya at nagpapalobo ng bubblegum.
I sighed when I got inside our house, wala pa ang Kuya dahil sa klase, ang Papa sa flight at si Mama na hanggang alas-otso pa ang klase sa university.
Nagpahinga muna ako sa kwarto at nang dumating na ang pamilya ay at saka lang kami kumain ng hapunan, my father and brother are busy watching late night news sa ibaba kaya nagdesisyon ako na pumunta kay Mama.
Wearing my long night gown, mukha akong multo habang naglalakad sa hallway. My long black hair is dancing with my every move, nangiti ako at sinuklay iyon gamit ang daliri ko.
Maybe I should trim my hair? Trim lang, maybe an inch or so. Medyo aabot na kasi ang buhok ko sa may baywang kaya medyo babawasan ko ng kaunti siguro.
When I got inside my parent's room, I saw my mother sitting on the swivel on the table near their bed, bukas ang lamp shade at abala siya sa laptop at class record niya.
"Hi, Mama. Busy?" I smiled at her.
She raised her head with a gentle sweet smile already plastered on her lips.
"Hi, princess. Sit here, baby. Do you have something to say? Sorry hindi kita masyadong nakausap kanina, huh? Busy si Mama." She smiled kaya tumango ako, nakangiting hinila ang night gown bago naupo sa may tabi niya sa isang upuan.
"Wala lang, Ma. I just missed you," lambing ko't mas gumaan ang tingin. She reached for me to kiss my head and touch my hair.
"I missed you too, my baby. How's class?" She asked.
"Doing great. We had a quiz kanina, we talked about a small part of literature and luckily, we talked about Icarus. Fortunately, you told us the story so...I did it!"
"You did a great job, I'm so proud of you, Daru," she praised affectionately.
"I love you, Ma, kumusta po sa school?" I asked, glancing at her laptop now in Excel and her class records.
"Doing great, masaya," aniya. "A few kids weren't that interested in literature but some are doing a good job in it, they are stressed with Canterbury tales but love Greek Myths."
"I love Greek Myths too, Ma!" I chirped. Her smile widened until she sighed as if remembered something.
"However, sayang nga ang isang estudyante ko, 'nak. Matalino, maganda at masipag sana," aniya kaya nagtaka ako.
"What happened, Ma?"
"Well, I have this student, first-year college. She's just seventeen? I think? Estudyante ko sa Speech,"
"What happened, Ma?"
"She was doing great in my class, she always had the highest scores and she is doing a really really good job but these weeks, nagtaka ako bakit hindi na pumapasok so, of course, out of concern and because she's my student, I reached out to her guardians.
"Then, I was shocked when I found out the girl is pregnant now, four months na pala. Ilang months na pala silang nagtanan ng boyfriend niya and during that, she's still joining my class. The bad thing is that, when her boyfriend found out she's pregnant, iniwan siya kaya bumalik siya sa kanyang mga magulang."
Umawang ang labi ko.
"That's...too sad," I muttered sadly. She nodded, nabakas ko ang panghihinayang sa mga mata niya.
"Yes, she's so young so nanghihinayang talaga ako, hija," she said. "You see, she has a far great future ahead of her kaso dahil sa isang pagkakamali ay na-delay or worse baka 'di na ma-pursue. Her parents won't send her to the school anymore, uuwi ata sila ng probinsya."
"Can't she go to class even if she's pregnant? Sayang ang sem, Ma," I asked. She shook her head.
"I did convince her parents that she can still go to class pero ayaw nila, the student didn't want to come either so, we couldn't do anything about that. We respect their decision," aniya at marahang hinawi ang buhok ko. "Kaya, anak, you see. I want you to understand that thinking first before doing things and deciding on your own is important."
I slowly nodded, medyo naguguluhan pa noong una pero pinakinggan siya.
"I salute single mothers so much dahil kami noon, anak, noong nawala ang Tatay, pinalaki kaming magkakapatid ng si Nanay lang," she said. "But on the other hand, teenage pregnancy is hard, lalo na kapag wala kang trabaho, kapag wala kayong trabaho ng Tatay ng anak mo."
"I don't get it, Ma," sagot ko kaya tumango siya mas pinaliwanagan ako.
"Ganito kasi iyan, 'nak. I have nothing to say about single mothers, with teenagers being responsible enough to take care of their children. I am hands-down to them, they are so strong but personally, anak, I don't think teenage pregnancy should be a trend," she said. "Sa social media ngayon, I can see young kids parading their pregnancy with that challenge thing?"
"Oh!" Napaayos ako ng upo roon. "The batang ina challenge, Ma?" I chuckled.
Napatango siyang natatawa rin.
"It's very weird. That's...personally, I think shouldn't be something to be on trend these days dahil maraming kabataan ang nasa social media, Darshana," aniya. "Ang mga bata ngayon, naisip na okay lang magbuntis kaagad dahil marami namang ganoon. I think it's a wrong mindset. Lalo na kung ang dahilan ng mga kabataan ay curiosity lamang at ang pagsabay sa uso? Lalo na at kung wala pa talaga silang knowledge na magpalaki ng bata at magkapamilya. Kasi in the end, ang mga anak nila, ipapasalo lang nila sa parents nila, get my point?"
"Opo..." I nodded.
"Ang ending ang mga bata ang kawawa. Hindi naman nila hinangad na iluwal kaagad pero dahil sa kuryosidad at kapabayaan ng magulang ay kailangan pa nilang gumaling sa mga trauma na 'di nila hiningi."
I agreed.
"Kaya I always tell you and your brother to be responsible with your decisions, I get it that you are all curious. Kabataan kasi, mapusok at alam kong kuryoso talaga kayo pero gusto ko lang sabihin sa inyong nandito kami ng Papa n'yo para pumatnubay sa inyo, okay? If you have questions about life or things, if you want to do decisions and you're uncertain, nandito lang kami to listen."
"Salamat, Mama." I smiled at her. "But...ang love po ba hindi p'wedeng i-consider sa ganyang situation?"
"Love is love and we can't do anything about it, Daru. Love a great factor for things like that but curiosity and joining it as a trend is another thing. Love is a big, kagaya noong sa student ko? Alam kong dahil sa pagmamahal iyon and that is also probably one of the reasons why the couple decided to elope pero ang pagmamahal ay may limitasyon. You should think twice about your decisions first before doing it then reevaluate again. In love, lalo na kapag bata ka pa at hindi pa responsable, hindi lang ang nararamdaman mo ang importante, kailangan mo ring isipin ang future mo, ang pamilya mo at ang iyong edukasyon.
"We should never shame teenage mothers because there are a lot of factors why that happened, it could be love, it could be a situation, or something. I am proud for responsible mothers. But as a curious teenager, like you." She chuckled and pinched my cheek.
"I want to tell you, as a mother, that pregnancy isn't a trend that all people should follow. H'wag padalos-dalos, isipin muna ang pag-aaral at ang iyong pangarap. Isipin na bata pa kayo at ang pagmamahal ay darating sa tamang pagkakataon at kung para sa iyo. Dreams and your future are what matters the most, okay, my baby?"
"Opo, Mama," I said, understanding her lessons. "Like the Fall of Icarus?"
"Yes, my Darshana..." She pinched my nose. "Hindi siya nakinig kay Daedalus, hindi siya nakinig sa mga paalala ng Papa niya. Sinunod niya ang kanyang gusto, parang pagmamahal lang 'yan at curiosity. Masyado minsang naghahangad ang mga kabataan sa pagmamahal sa murang edad at nabubulag sa kuryosidad na sila rin ang napapahamak sa huli."
"Yes..." I nodded, biting my lower lip. "Curiosity and love."
She nodded with a contented smile on her lips.
"They wanted to push through things so hard and fly high that they only ended up falling," I mumbled and I didn't anticipate it when I felt the bitterness spreading in my tongue with the thought.
Mama kissed my head.
"Very good, Daru. That's right, my princess."
That night, our Dean announced we won't be having classes the next day to prepare for our Senior Prom and I am so excited that day.
I wore a mix of black and white gown for the night. A soft cup black, glittered top. Medyo may pagka-crop top ang disenyo nito dahil sa kita ang napakaliit na bahagi ng aking tiyan. The lower part is an asymmetrical skirt, sa itaas na bahagi ay itim rin na kumikinang pero unti-unting nagiging fade ang itim habang bumababa hanggang sa umabot ang kulay puti sa laylayan.
I also wore black, glittered platform pumps and curled my long hair in majestic curls to complete my look.
Nakabusangot ang Papa pagkababa ko sa hagdanan ng bahay, nakapamaywang siya at si Kuya Macky ay nakahalukipkip doon.
"No boys, Darshana." Halos magkasabay nilang sabi kaya napatawa ako roon, naiiling.
"Come on, boys, stop being overreacting." I heard Tita Thallia laughed behind me, siya kasi ang nag-ayos sa akin at pakiramdam ko ay sobrang ganda ko ngayon.
"Bababa na po ang prinsesa." I saw Tita Zidney walked down from behind us and offered the stairs kaya napangiti akong lalo.
Mama chuckled when she saw my father and brother's reaction, kasabay ko sa pagbaba si Tita Thallia at kaagad akong sinalubong ni Tita Alyx na inilahad sa akin ang maliit na bag.
"This would suit your outfit so much, Daru." Tita Alyx giggled.
"Thank you, Tita." I smiled.
"Grabe naman, talo pa ang debut." Tawa bigla ni Zire kaya tumili ako nang magkita kami.
"Zire! Scira!" I screamed and hugged both of them.
We took photos together before they let me go.
Mamatay-matay ako sa paalala ng mga lalaki habang nasa biyahe at hinatid nila ako sa venue ng prom namin. It was the senior and grand ball in one since we'll be college soon, hindi nila kami isinama sa normal na JS Prom dahil gusto nilang mas maging espesyal ang huling taon namin sa high school.
"Anong paalala ko, Darshana?" ani Dad bago ako iwan sa tapat ng hall.
"Be a good girl," I repeated with a smile for him. "Promise, Pa. mabait po ako!"
"Really?" Kuya Macky raised his brows kaya natawa na ako at yumakap na sa kanila.
"Of course, mabait kaya ako!" I exclaimed and kissed their cheeks.
Luckily, after a minute of their lectures and huling habilin ay pinakawalan na nila ako, telling me they'd come here to fetch me before midnight.
I got in and immediately realized they shifted their attention to me, their eyes on me! Napalunok ako't namangha, lumaki ang ngiti.
"Darshana!" My teacher gasped when she saw me. "Wala na, may nanalo na senior's night!" biro niya at nag-init ang pisngi ko.
"Ang daming magaganda rito, Ma'am," sabi ko.
"Grabe, iba talaga ang Sandejas, ano?" Biruan nila habang nagsusulat ako sa registration kaya nangiti na ako roon. "Napakaganda mo, hija! Parang may anghel akong nakikita!"
It made my heart jump.
"Thank you, Ma'am." I smiled at them.
"No worries! Pa-picture, ah!" Tumango ako, nangingiti.
"Pakihatid naman si Miss Sandejas sa table, madali!" aniya kaya nagulat ako't umiling.
"Ay, Ma'am, hindi na po." Natawa na ako, nahihiya. "Hindi na po—"
"Let me..." Natulos ako sa kinatatayuan at mabilis na napalingon.
My eyes widened and nearly choke on my saliva when I saw Chance Ford Salcedo standing right behind me in his clean cut hair, white long sleeves and slacks. Ang tatlong butones ng kanyang suot na dress shirt ay bukas at pinapatungan lang ng kulay gray na suit.
I got a whiff of his manly scent my throat dried up. Nakaawang lang ang labi ko habang nakatulala sa kanya. His eyes were chocolate brown they were almost black, mapungay iyon lalo dahil sa ilaw na tumama sa hall. His dimples showed itself briefly when he moistened his lower lip with his tongue.
Oh, my God. Have mercy on my poor dear heart.
"May I? Miss Sandejas?" He asked and offered me his hand.
"H'wag na pala, hijo, at mukhang ayaw ni Miss—"
"S-sinong nagsabi?" putol ko at kumurap-kurap, nagulat din ang mga professor sa akin kaya ngumiti ako ng malambing. "Joke, Ma'am! Gusto ko rin s'yempre." Hagikhik ko at mabilis na kinuha ang kamay ni Chance.
I almost shivered when I touched his rough, big palms. Nakita ko ang pagtaas ng kilay niya nang makita akong nginunguya na halos ang labi ko kaya ngumiti akong hilaw.
"Uh...eh, bye, Ma'am! Sir! Papahatid lang po ako!" I smiled and waved.
My heart threatened to get out of my chest as we walked in the middle while people are looking at the both of us, dahil sa mataas na heels ay mas tumangkad ako at nasabi sa sariling mas bagay talaga kami ni Chance!
"Ang...gwapo mo," I praised while we were walking.
He was stunned. I saw the tension rolling in his body until he composed himself and gave me a half-smirk.
"I know, young miss."
"Wow, yabang..." I hissed, nangingiti. "Pero magandang gabi, sinong maganda? Gabi o ako?"
His lip twitched, glancing at me sideways. I caught the ghost of his dimples near his cheek as he shook his head at me.
"Gabi, why would you be beautiful? After you ran away after molesting me?" he spat and my eyes widened, nag-init ang pisngi ko at umawang ang labi.
"I did not molest you! I-I'm just..."
"We're not done talking, baby doll." He said darkly at huli ko na natantong nasa upuan na kami at pinaupo na niya ako. I was about to say something when he turned his back and left.
I was still in shock when I heard a voice calling.
"Darshana?" Napabaling ako sa tabi ko at napasinghap.
"Rene, you're pretty!" I exclaimed and we both hugged, chuckling. "Kainis nga si Kuya, sumama pa para bantayan ako! Masyadong ano!"
Mabuti na lang binantayan ka at nandito siya ngayon.
I almost laughed evilly.
I wasn't shocked anymore when the faculty started choosing the best dressed and the Star of the Night and I was included. The spotlight followed me no'ng rumampa ako para umawra.
Aba't dapat galingan ko at nandito ang main crush ko!
I paraded my custom-made outfit, proud of it.
Ate Crest helped in designing this months ago at pinagawa namin sa boutique ng Tita niya na may-ari ng isang sikat na brand at shop. The name's Cage, I think?
I was flattered by the loud applause, the amazement in their eyes boosted my confidence more. I was so pleased of the attention that I became more competent but one intense look from a man was what it takes to make my knees wobble.
Chance stared at me like I was some kind of prey, seryoso siya at walang ngiti habang pinagmamasdan ako sa malayo, nakahalukipkip pa. His broad shoulders got emphasize with that move, nakita kong ang librarian noong nakaraan ay kinakausap siya pero tanging tango lang ang sagot niya.
His eyes stayed with me, kumukunot ang noo sa bawat galaw ko.
My lip twitched.
That's right...your eyes are only for me.
I was glad and amazed when they crowned me the queen together with Brandon, our star of the night too. As the stars, we started the traditional dance until the faculty and the students followed us.
Marami akong naisayaw noong gabing iyon kaya nakakapagod pero masaya but of course, I wasn't satisfied and a bit disappointed because Chance was nowhere to be found and he didn't try to ask me for a dance.
"You okay, Darsh?" Umangat ang ulo ko sa kasayaw at kaagad akong ngumiti sa kanya.
"Of course, why not?" I said softly.
"Last thirty minutes until our event ends, enjoy the remaining time, guys! Enjoy the night!" The host announced kaya mas nanlumo ako.
Ang dami kong nasayaw pero hindi iyon buo kapag wala siya...
He really won't dance with me?
"Excuse me, can I?" That voice made the hair at the back of my nape rose. Nagwala ang puso ko at 'di ko na napansin ang kasayaw na tumigil din.
"Huh? Uhm, sure. Darsh, salamat." The man I was dancing with said and slowly let me go. Lumunok ako, pasimpleng inayos ang buhok bago marahang pumihit at nakagat ang labi pagkakita kay Chance na nakatikwas ang kilay sa 'kin.
His jaw was clenched, his lips were firm as he sighed and offered me his hand.
"Can I have this dance, Miss?" Tumaas ang labi niya sa isang ngiti kaya ngumuso ako.
I slapped his palm, mukhang nagulat siya pero mabilis kong hinila palapit sa akin ang kamay niya. I got slammed on his chest and gasped when I thought I'd fall pero mabilis niyang nasalo ang baywang ko.
Nagkatinginan kami, sa gulat ay napakapit pala ang isang kamay ko sa suit niya habang hawak ang kanyang kamay. His intese chocolate brown eyes were on me. My insides shook.
"Careful, Darshana..." he hissed under his breath.
"Sorry..." maliit kong sabi at umayos ng tayo nang inalalayan niya ako. I smelled his minty breath when his face moved a bit closer while he's helping me.
I hid a smile, tilted my head and tried stealing a kiss but he was too quick to move his face kaya tumama ang halik ko sa kanyang pisngi.
"Darshana!" His voice roared quietly. I pouted.
"Damot!" I exclaimed and when he glared at me ay ngumuso na ako.
"Ayoko na isayaw ka—"
"Hoy, joke lang!" I pulled his suit back kaya kumunot ang kanyang noo sa akin at pinirmi ang kamay sa baywang. "Oo na, behave na. Good girl na ako."
He looks pissed and annoyed kaya mas umayos ako't 'di na nagpasaway.
"Hindi na, sorry. Sayaw mo na ako." I smiled at him.
"No stealing kisses, okay?" he warned me coldly and I don't agree pero well...
"Okay po, Chance," I said like a good girl.
He sighed, placing his other hand on my waist while I put my palms on his shoulders.
Our gazes clashed. I gave him a cute smile.
"Chance, sinong mas maganda, gabi o ako?"
He stared at me and shook his head, mukhang susukuan na ako kaya tumawa ako at inayos ang kamay sa balikat niya.
"Come on, answer me. H'wag kang KJ, 'di mo nga ako sinayaw kanina—"
"You're so busy, Miss Star of the Night. How could I dance with you, your majesty?" he asked sarcastically kaya napahagalpak ako. I saw some seniors glancing my way kaya pinirmi ko ang labi ko at umayos ng tayo.
That laugh isn't ladylike. Very wrong, Darshana.
"Sorry na, kasalanan ko?" I teased. He scoffed.
"They're almost thirty, twenty-eight boys. Every time I'll try, may kakalabit na bigla sa kasayaw mo. Saan ako lulugar, 'di ba?" he asked coldly kaya ngumisi na ako.
"It's okay, at least ikaw na ang last, 'di ako papasayaw sa iba na." I smiled. "Ikaw, sinong isinayaw mo?"
"Nothing, sampid lang naman ako rito. I danced with my sister first before any man could and...you." Nag-iwas siya ng tingin kaya kinilig ako.
"I must be special, eh? Date mo na ako, oh. Hinahamon kita." I teased. He gave me a side smile.
"Nah, not really. I don't date young..." He glanced at me. "Kids."
"Huh! Do I look like a kid to you, Mr. Salcedo? Look at me, I'm taller now and look at my outfit—"
"Wardrobes won't convince me you're mature." Malamig niyang sabi. "And...don't do that stunt again, okay?"
"What stunts?" I smirked.
"That kiss," he drawled, his forehead creasing while staring. "Don't do it again, Darshana, okay?"
Ngumuso ako.
"Why? Is it bad?" I asked. "Halik lang naman? As if I did that to just anyone, I like you, that's why I kissed you—"
"Kahit kanino, Darshana," putol niya. "Kahit ako o kung sino, hindi mo p'wedeng basta silang halikan dahil gusto mo lang sila. Bata ka pa para sa ganyan." He pointed out.
"And why not nga?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Isa pa, you...you even introduced me as your girlfriend to your sister and mother tapos ngayon—"
"That...I'm sorry for dragging you like that. My mother's been bugging me to date anyone at makulit ka kaya..."
Umawang ang labi ko't humapdi ang dibdib.
"You mean, you are just joking?" Iritado kong tanong. Napapikit siya at humugot ng hininga. "You mean to say na pinapaasa mo lang akong gusto mo rin ako—"
"You're too young for me, Darshana," he explained, frustration evident in his eyes.
"Anong too young? How so? Five years?" I snapped. "That's just a few years, kasalanan ko bang pinanganak ako ng late—"
"I'm almost fucking twenty-eight, baby doll..." he said and my eyes widened.
What...
He stared at me and sighed, his jaw clenched when he shook his head at me disapprovingly.
"See? You're too young—"
"'Yon lang? Ten? Eleven years?" Ngumuso na ako roon at umirap. "'Yong iba nga thirty years, h'wag ako, Chance—weak mo naman!"
He groaned.
"You don't get my fucking point, don't you?" he scoffed. Tumalim ang tingin ko sa kanya.
"Of course, I do! You think we're not bagay because of age gap? No for me. Tao tayo pero bagay tayo, okay?" I explained.
His jaw clenched again, lumubog ang dimple niya roon at alam kong 'di right time to drool pero mas gumwapo siya sa paningin ko! Anong magagawa ko, eh, gwapo talaga!
"No, Darshana, what I think is that I will be bad for you—"
"Pero inferness, ah? Twenty-seven ka na pero baby face? Akala ko twenty-three or four ka lang!" I smirked at bumusangot siya.
"This isn't a joke, okay? What I am telling you is that, our age difference is—"
"Sa bagay, gwapo ka, eh. Baby face tapos—"
"Darshana," mariin niyang tawag, seryoso na talaga. Pero 'di ako.
"Yes, baby boy?" I smiled sweetly.
"The fuck?" he hissed at doon na ako napatawa.
"Oldie ka na pala, eh, kaya baby boy na lang kita. Isa pa, 'di ka naman mukhang matured? Ang pogi-pogi mo lalo na 'yong dimples mo tapos baby face ka pa—"
"Are you...seriously not scared of that age gap?" Lumamlam ang tingin niya't tila binabasa ako. I nodded.
"Why would I be scared? Bakit? Nangangain ka ba?" I asked. I saw his lip twitch and shook his head.
"Hindi mo sure." He smirked kaya nanlaki ang mata ko roon.
"W-weh?" My eyes almost went out of my socket. "Anong kinakain mo?"
"Pagkain, Darshana. Pagkain." He said seriously kaya ngumuso ako at tumango sa kanya.
"Alright, kaya ko naman mag-antay," I said at kita ko ang gulantang sa mata niya at bigla siyang natawa sa akin.
"The hell, woman? Lalaki ka ba?" he asked kaya sumulyap ako sa sarili at bumaling sa kanya.
"Baliw 'to, sa ganda kong 'to? Mukha ba akong lalaki?" I hissed. Mas lumalim ang gatla sa noo niya.
"No...no, I mean, the way you said it. Bakit ako ang aantayin mo when in fact, I am the man? I should be the one waiting for you," he said as a matter of fact kaya napatango ako.
"Oo nga 'no?" I realized. "Correct ka r'yan kaya okay. Sige, ikaw ang mag-antay, baby boy."
"Quit that baby boy thing, young miss." Simangot niya.
"Sus, maka-baby doll sa akin akala mo manika!" I said. "Bahala ka, basta ikaw na ang baby boy at okay, cute naman ng baby doll kaya..." I shrugged.
Hindi siya nagsalita, I felt him touched my waist more kaya mas dumikit ako sa kanya. I placed my arms around his nape and rested my head on his chest.
He smelled so good...he feels so comfortable and right. I have a lot of crush but I think, what I feel for him now more than that. I think this is love, he's my first love.
"Let's give this a chance, please? Tutal naman Chance ang pangalan mo, itodo na natin 'to!" I said with determination.
He chuckled, I heard how his laugh vibrated and it made me so happy.
"Bata ka pa, Daru," he mumbled. "Bawal. Hindi dapat."
'Di ko siya pinansin.
"How did you know my nickname, ikaw, ah? Crush mo ako, ano?" I teased.
"Dream on, Darsh. Dream on." He chuckled more.
"Pero ano nga? I'll be eighteen in four months now, sakto at kolehiyo na rin ako. I don't mean to pressure you but I feel that you like me, too. You won't use me as a subject for your sketches if I was no one to you."
"I don't know," he breathed, I noticed it was a bit shaky. "I fucking don't know, Darshana."
"Then give it a chance," I said. "Kasi I honestly like you, let's give it a try, hmm?"
Natahimik kami ng ilang sandali, I felt him touching my hair like it was his favorite.
"You like my hair?" I asked. I felt him nod.
"It suits you, so much," he whispered. "Don't cut it, hmm?"
"Never..." I chuckled. "I have no plans of cutting it. Lalo na at gusto mo rin pa lang mahaba. More reasons not to cut it short."
"Last ten minutes, guys!" I heard the host again.
"Chance?" I called. He nodded again and I heard him sigh.
"No kisses, okay?" nagitla ako roon kaya bumaling ako sa kanyang nanlalaki ang mata. "What..."
"Do you like this or not—"
"Okay, okay. No kisses." Labag man sa loob ay pumayag na rin ako.
"No relationships, we'll try this without anything but talking," he said kaya lumayo na ako at sumimangot.
"Boring naman nito!" I hissed. His lips pursed and he shook his head.
"You listen to me, baby doll, okay?" Kalmado niyang sinabi kaya ngumuso ako. "If you want me to give this a chance then you will follow what I am about to tell you."
Labag man ay tumango ako.
"No stolen kisses again, no any physical attachment, contact or whatsoever. We'll only talk if we're meeting personally."
The heck...
"But—"
"I want you to focus on your studies, Daru." He said seriously. "And don't take this as a joke. We have no relationship but I don't want you flirting with boys."
"I don't like you flirting with girls, either," I said seriously. "'Yong...librarian o kung sino man 'yan? I don't like you flirting with them too, okay?"
"Yes, little doll." I saw how amusement filled his eyes while staring at me. "And of course, I want you to enjoy your teenage life, bata ka pa but enjoying does not mean playing with boys. You're just seventeen and I can't mess up that wonderful future you have ahead of you."
I couldn't deny but it touched something deep inside me.
"Okay..." I smiled at him. "Bait mo naman, baby boy."
"You don't know that," he said mysteriously.
"Pero...kung hindi naman tayo...bale, kunwari nililigawan mo ako?" I asked and he stared at me for a while before shrugging.
"Not now, baby doll. I like you and you like me too, that's enough for now. Your feeling for me might be just a simple infatuation and—"
"Don't underestimate my feelings for you, Chance," I snapped. Napatitig siya sa 'kin bago tumango.
"Alright, I'm sorry," he apologized. "Focus on your studies for now. Let's see if these feelings we have is long lasting or just a mere attraction. If luckily, it is true and you still like me that time, I'll court you."
My heart thumped harder, nangiti ako at tumango sa kanya, mas humigpit ang hawak sa balikat.
"Okay," I said softly with a smile.
"Let's give this a chance, hmm?" he asked softly, his eyes were genuine and gentle that I felt so lucky.
"Let's grab this chance, instead of missing it." I smiled back at him.
He remained true to his words. Chance Salcedo really is dedicated of giving us a chance. He motivated me in my studies the same time he's doing his Masters. He helped me in getting better in arts. He helped me improve and teach me ways to master it.
Hobby ko talaga ang pagguhit at pagpinta pero dahil sa kanya ay mas naadik na ako roon, there's this time that I am so tempted to take an art-related course pero naisip ko ang pangarap kong maging F.A. kaya instead I took Tourism.
Chance remained patient with me and I am patient with him too, there are times when we have misunderstandings but we resolve it every time when we talk. Sa personal lang kami nagkikita, we don't text or call each other. Masaya na ako na simpleng usap at mas lalong nae-excite dahil nagagawa ko lang iyon kapag nagkikita kami.
In my eighteenth birthday, he was there. He danced with me, nagulat ako nang malamang pinsan siya nina Kuya Chiel sa side ni Tita Thallia kaya hindi nagreklamo ang Papa na may hindi kami kakilalang sumayaw sa akin.
My brother seems close to him too and he didn't say anything when he came there.
The relationship we had...kahit wala naman kami talagang label is a secret only the two of us know. My cousin, Zire and Scira knew I was meeting with my main crush pero hindi naman nila alam ang pangalan at kwento namin.
Hinuhuli nga nila ako minsan pero hindi talaga ako nagsabi sa kanila.
I was almost nineteen when I realized I am happy we took the chance even if it's uncertain, masaya akong sumubok kami kung totoo ang nararamdaman dahil natanto kong totoo ang pagkakagusto ko sa kanya.
That night when I asked him out for a simple dinner, I decided to tell him that I was in love with him and he just stared at me and that night...he rejected my feelings for him.
That night, I missed and wasted the first chance I'd ever given for love.
Matagal na nang huli ko siyang nakita pero malinaw pa rin sa akin ang mga nangyari, it was so painful that I tried dating a lot of boys after him and tried different relationships but in the end, they'd say I'm too cold or I'm so independent that they don't feel like I needed them.
Some cheated, more reason why the chances I gave were missed. In the end, I decided to stop.
I told myself, hindi na ako papatinag kahit kanino. Na wala na akong pakialam sa love but I didn't know that that damn exhibit would ruin my principles.
Hindi ko alam na ang dinner na ang purpose ay ang pagkain lang kasama ang artist ay mapupunta sa ibang bagay.
"You mean...ang main crush mo dati nakita mo?" Scira asked, her eyes are so wide after telling them what happened.
Hindi ko na kaya itago ito!
"Yes, Kuya gave me an art exhibit ticket tapos nanalo ako doon sa pa-raffle nila, tapos...tapos ang price no'n, kakain ako kasama ang artist tapos p'wede naming pag-usapan ang art inspirations niya," I said, medyo naluluha na habang na-i-imagine ang nangyari kagabi lang.
"Sino ba kasing main crush mo, Daru? Hindi mo naman sinasabi sa amin?" ani Zire na ngumunguso. "Tapos? Anong nangyari? Kumain kayo ng artist na 'yong main crush mo dati tapos? Saan kayo kumain? Anong kinain n'yo? French resto? Spanish—"
"B-bakla, 'yong artist 'yong kinain ko!" I exclaimed loudly and I saw how their eyes widened, their jaws slacked.
"What the hell?" Scira gasped.
"Shit...Darshana, pokpok ka!" Zire exclaimed at doon na ako ngumawa at tumango-tango.
"N-naalala ko 'yong nakaraan, Zirena! T-tapos...tapos we had fun chatting t-tapos biglang nasa hotel na kami tapos—" I sniffed more.
"Dapat pangalan mo, Darupok!" Zire exclaimed at me. "Doble purpose, Daru-pokpok tapos marupok kang babae ka!"
"Ikaw ba, hindi?" ani Scira sa kanya kaya ngumuso si Zirena at umiling.
"Hindi, ah! Ikaw nga 'yon!" Zire hissed at her.
"Guys...ako 'yong nagda-drama rito, oh," I called, nanlalabo na ang mata kakaiyak sa kabobohan, sabay silang bumaling sa akin at lumambot ang mata.
Suminghot-singhot naman ako.
"Paano na 'yan?" ani Scira sa akin kaya umiling-iling ako. Si Zire ay suminghap, kinuha niya ang kamay ko at hinaplos.
"Girl, masarap?" she asked kaya kinagat ko ang labi ko at bumaling sa kanya, tumango-tango.
"O-oo, eh..." I said and cried more.
"Bastos talaga 'tong...umiiyak na ang tao, Zire!" Scira hissed. Zire only smirked and glanced at me, marahang hinaplos niya ang kamay ko.
"Sorry na...akala ko nga, good girl ka, Darsh?" aniya kaya lumabi ako.
"Good girl nga," I sniffed, hinawi ang luha gamit ang isang kamay habang si Scira ay yumayakap sa tagiliran ko. "K-kaso, lahat naman sinusubok ng tadhana, 'di ba? Ito ata ang challenge ko sa life, Zire."
"Sa bagay..." Zire sighed and moved closer to me. "Don't worry, dito lang kami palagi kahit marupok ka, Daru. Turuan kita tips para maging Dalagang Filipina, tinuruan ako ni Dad."
"Hindi ako naniniwalang Dalagang Filipina ka, Zirena," laban ni Scira na bumaling kay Zire. "Dalaga ka lang, walang Filipina."
"Sus!" Zire smirked. "Inggit ka lang kasi wala ka ng jowa, maldita ka raw kasi."
Scira glared at her while Zire just gave her a silly grin. Ngumuso naman ako at napasinghot na naman kaya nagpa-panic na bumaling ang dalawa sa akin.
"Calm down, Darsh," Scira soothed and touched my back. "You can get through it."
"H-hindi naman kami magkikita na ulit p-pero 'di ko makalimutan 'yong nangyari..." I sniffed. "Fuck shit naman kasi ako, s-sabi kakain, hindi magkakainan! S-sabi mag-uusap lang sa inspiration at hindi sa past! S-sabi simpleng dinner kaso..."
"Kaso ano, Darupok?" Zire pouted with her soft eyes kaya mas suminghap ako.
"K-kaso nag-mukbang kami! Minukbang ko ang artist, mga bakla kayo!" I exclaimed hysterically and cried like a child.
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