7 O'Clock
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Vervina was sitting alone in her small apartment, feeling restless and disconnected from the world around her. She had always been a social butterfly, but lately, she had struggled to connect with others. So, she decided to drive downtown to try and clear her mind.
As she drove, she sipped her coffee and cranked up the music, hoping to find solace in the lyrics. She chose the song "7 O'clock" by Penelope Scott and vibed to the tunes. But things soon turned weird and less enjoyable. When Vervina reached the city's heart, she realized no one was around. The streets were eerily quiet, and the buildings were dark and empty.
"So it hits me real hard
Around seven o'clock
Drink a coffee and floor it
And get ready to rock
But there's nobody here
And nobody downtown
And if nobody hears you
Are you really around."
Vervina suddenly felt a wave of panic, causing her to pull over to the side of the road. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "It hit me hard," she thought to herself. She realized she was alone, and the isolation started to scare her.
"So I'll wake up alone
With salt in my eyes
And I haven't the slightest
And I haven't the right
The right or a clue
I wouldn't know if I knew
Trees bend in the wind
And they are dark fucking blue
We never existed
I continue to not
Street caves like it's rubber
And it's not even hot
A glitch in the game
I loop like a bug
And all that I ever wanted
Was a really tight hug."
The song took Vervina back to when she was getting started this morning. She had woken up alone like she had for the past three months. She had spent nearly ten minutes rubbing her eyes and trying to clear the salt accumulated in the corners. Vervina knew the reason for it. She had cried herself to sleep again last night! Jumping out of bed, she walked to the window, looking at the city below. It was bustling with activity, but Vervina felt like a spectator, a mere observer. She thought about the breakup that had led to her current state. It had been messy, filled with accusations, harsh words, and shattered dreams. Vervina had thought that they meant to be together, but it turned out that she hadn't had the slightest idea what her ex had been thinking. Thus, she felt like she did not have the right to feel sorry for herself. After all, she had been the one who had pushed that one away with her insecurities and neediness. However, Vervina still wished for warm hugs.
"I'll call her again but
She's a huge fucking ghost
I fell for dead air
Cuz it was all I could host
And I'll cut up my shirts
And I'll sing in the rain
It doesn't quite matter
Cuz it all feels the same."
Suddenly, the sky got darker, clouds bringing thunderous noises. As the rain poured down, Vervina stared at her phone. She had been trying to call her ex-girlfriend for hours, but there were no answers. Vervina knew she shouldn't have fallen for her in the first place. After all, that lady was a fucking ghost, always disappearing without a trace. But Vervina couldn't help it. Something about her ex drew her, even if it was just dead air. Vervina had become so consumed with the idea of her that she had cut up all of her shirts, trying to create something unique and special to impress her. Regardless, it was all for nothing. That lady was nowhere to be found, and Vervina was left there, feeling barren and lonely. Then, Vervina sang out loud, hoping her ex would somehow hear her. Yet, she soon realized that it did not matter anymore. The pain of rejection had become familiar, and it all felt the same. It made her feel useless in every possible way and unsure about what she wished for.
"I don't want what I want
Feels bad to feel good
I'm made of bad code
I'm waterlogged wood."
Vervina made a difficult decision to part ways with the remnants of a love that only existed in her mind. The weight of her heart was heavy as she knew that she would always carry with her a fragment of her past with her ex, even though it was just a faint and elusive memory that refused to fade away.
"Cry for the feeling
Stay in bed for the fun
A brand new beginning
And I'm already done
The future is static
It drips on the floor
And makes its way underneath
My bedroom door
A glitch in the game
I loop like a bug
And that I ever died for was
Another tight hug."
Staring blankly at the stormy sky outside, Vervina felt unsure of what direction to take her life. She longed for a change, a brand new beginning, but the thought of taking action was overwhelming. She couldn't help but cry for the feeling stuck in this rut. It felt like every day was the same, and she was going through the motions. But staying indoors for the fun wasn't an option anymore. Vervina knew she needed to make a change, but where to start? She tried her best, but the future felt stagnant. It was like everything was already predetermined, and she had no control over it. Trying to entertain herself with a mobile game, Vervina noticed a strange glitch. The same thoughts kept looping in her head like a bug, and she couldn't shake them off.
Suddenly, her phone rang, and she jumped, startled by the noise. It was her friend, Kaya, who had called to invite her to a party that night. Vervina hesitated, unsure if she was in the mood for socializing. But then, a thought occurred to her. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. It also might be how the universe told her she needed to learn to be comfortable with herself instead of relying on others for corroboration. With that realization, Vervina felt a sense of calm wash over her. She put the car in gear and started to drive again, feeling more confident and self-assured than in weeks. And as she drove through the empty streets, she sang out loud, "And if nobody hears you, are you around?" She knew that, even if no one was physically around her, she was still present, living her life on her terms. She thought, "Why shouldn't I enjoy myself?" With that spirit, she returned home to prepare for the party night while the song went on.
"Ladies and gentlemen, a word from our sponsors
I am deceased, my nuts have been busted
Bullshit!
So just get wrecked I guess
I mean you kind of failed the cool kid test I guess
It's kind of sad if this is you at your best I guess
It's not fun anymore
I'm kinda bored
So let's go fuck shit up
Come on
Let's go out."
Vervina had the opportunity to meet a group of new people at the party, which was, turned out, a wonderful experience for her. It marked a new beginning for her as she felt she had outgrown the dependent old version of herself. As the party drew to a close, she embraced her newfound friends warmly, feeling a sense of satisfaction and joy.
The next day, Vervina woke up with a new sense of purpose. It was still 7 O'Clock, but some things had changed. The glitch in the game had been fixed, and she felt like she was finally in control of her life. It could be rough and might fail to be charming or fun, but she knew she would find ways to handle it all.
Looking back on that night, Vervina realized that what she had been searching for was another tight hug, not from anyone else, but from herself. She had learned that sometimes, the most important validation comes from within. She only needed to be courageous and give it a go.
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