7
Kazutora doesn't want to cut his hair...
Hanemiya Kazutora has a very beautiful hair. It is long and graceful with black color mixed with a bit of gold, it is always smooth and fragrant due to his daily care. However, that hair sometimes hinders him in some things. Every time he eats, that hair always obstructs his vision. Or when I'm at work, it's also very entangled. This problem caught Chifuyu's eyes and one day he asked him to get his hair cut, but the answer he received was:
"I...don't cut my hair..."
He was also quite surprised at first. Because this is the first time Chifuyu has heard the refusal from his mouth. Kazutora lived with him for a long time, he always nodded his approval, not even a denial. Curiosity overwhelms him to ask why.
"If I cut my hair...Chifuyu will treat me like a stranger..."
He said in a heavy voice, deliberately turning his face away to avoid his gaze. Her hair also obscured the melancholy part of her eyes.
Kazutora likes Chifuyu, because he is a generous person. You ignore his past and accept him for who he is. He was very kind, always giving him the best. However, he sometimes wondered if those good things were really for him, for Hanemiya Kazutora or for someone else.
Kazutora has long hair, just like his deceased self. He looks similar to the person you secretly love. He thinks that the current concern is not really for him, because it is for Baji Keisuke. Because whoever realizes his existence, he only sees the other person. All those tenderness and warmth are simply his illusions, that he misunderstands you for him. He's like an alternate. Sometimes wonder if his existence ever existed in your eyes?
Kazutora didn't want to cut his hair because he didn't want Chifuyu to leave him. He liked the warm feeling Chifuyu gave him, even if it wasn't for him. He is the one who gives him a home, a place to go, a purpose to live. He is a savior and priceless. He was afraid that when this long hair was cut, happiness would follow. He wondered if he had any feelings for him at all, or was it just the coldness in his name. He didn't want to cut his hair because he wanted to be with him, even though he was simply a replacement for Baji Keisuke.
Chifuyu...you can easily overlook the mistakes of a bad guy like me, but I know you who easily forget the feelings in your heart. You were heartbroken over someone else's departure, you mistook me for that person. But as long as you're by my side, I'm willing to be a replacement for life. (*)
Chifuyu admits that Kazutora is very similar to Baji, except for his personality. Every time he look at him from behind, Chifuyu feels like he is being protected by that person. He couldn't deny that he sometimes saw Baji's figure disappearing behind him, but he knew he wasn't him. He can't heartlessly replace him with him.
Chifuyu also knew that Kazutora didn't cut his hair because of him. He is afraid that you will be cold to him because he is no longer like him. He blamed himself after his words. He blamed him for unintentionally letting his emotions affect him, he wanted to protect him because he was invaluable to Baji. But...does he really just want to protect him, or is the depth of his heart a different feeling ?
"Don't do that..."
Chifuyu sat in front of him, trembling hands clutching his hoodie. The corners of the eyes are slightly curved down, and the eyebrows are also drooping, revealing a gloomy and melancholy expression.
" I have accepted the reality Kazutora...Accepted to forget someone simply because he will never belong to the future or the present again...That's why Kazutora doesn't need to torment me We're not close anymore...I'm sorry."
"Chifuyu isn't wrong, are you crying? I..." He was embarrassed to see the sadness in him.
"Kazutora is unique, you don't have to compare yourself. You are already special to me yourself" He looked up at him and said with innocence.
He is not a replacement for Baji, you have already forgotten about him. Although the pain is still there, the sadness is still there, the sadness in the heart is still a little bit lingering, but Chifuyu understands that Kazutora is not Baji. He's unique, he's unique, he can't be compared with anyone. For him, his presence in life was already a special thing. He brought you joy, let you know what it means to care deeply about a person. He reminded him that he didn't need to be immersed in that sad dream anymore, but forced him to put aside his grief to be next to a new life.
"Am I unique to Chifuyu?" he asked stupidly.
Kazutora woke up from Chifuyu's words. He didn't see him as a copy of Baji, he was simply himself. His words were like a medicine to soothe his rotten heart, slowly erasing all the sadness and pain. His eyes glimmered with a ray of light, and his heart was strangely warm. Kazutora has a fear, fear of losing Chifuyu. Fear of the feeling of being abandoned to the cold, fear of the guilt that haunts every day. He knew his crimes would haunt him for the rest of his life. But as long as he has you by his side, he is ready to walk with you on a new life.
"Thank you, Chifuyu." He happily said with teary eyes and hugged him.
"Ah! Crying again! Don't wipe your face on my shirt! Kazutora, you bastard!!!"
Really...Chifuyu really doesn't understand him anymore. Sometimes like a lost name in the middle of life, sometimes a weak-hearted person.
Kazutora suddenly threw himself into Chifuyu's arms and cried, tears and snot on his hoodie making him very angry. Although he tried to use all his strength to push him away, the strength of a cat compared to a tiger could not be reversed. The big tiger still hugged him tightly, he satisfied his head on his chest. Chifuyu surrendered, leaving his body. He seemed to remember something, so he resolutely said:
"But I don't cut my hair!"
"H- Huh?!"
"Don't cut it, don't Chifuyu like it?"
Kazutora looked up at him, he cunningly gave him a puppy face to seduce him. He didn't know if Chifuyu liked his hair, but he said it anyway. It can be said that he is being selfish, he simply wants to keep his hair long because he still wants to have his hair dry and combed by Chifuyu every day. As expected, Chifuyu let out a helpless sigh. He had to pat his head and agree: "Yes, then I will tie your hair. It's also very hot to let your hair down this season."He immediately smiled innocently and replied, "Um! Thanks to you!"
In one room, there was a warmth mixed with joy spreading. These two people are different from each other in terms of personality, but they respect and love each other very much. Although fate pushes them with loss, mistakes and sadness, their lives are always filled with happiness. That day, the hearts of two people were slightly wavered by each other...
_______
(*) Kazutora's POV
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