20
Author's Note: hello my readers, I am here to give a very sincere apology for the lateness of this chapter. I didn't really mean to take this long. Writing this story and finally getting to the end of the first series felt like a dream and I was worried about a lot of things and grew reluctant to end it just yet. But it must end. So here is the final chapter. Hope it answers some questions and leaves you anticipating the next part of the series.
Read and enjoy.
Previously~ "Kongpob is getting married to me, P'Arthit!" Anya yelled, "I won't allow this wedding to end. Kongpob, you know that."
I didn't bother looking at her as my eyes remained trained on Kongpob who was crying silently while staring back at me.
"I am so sorry, P'Arthit, I have to marry Anya."
Was I too late? Did I change nothing by coming out now?
Chapter 20
"Why?" he asked me. It was such a simple word but my mouth could not move.
P'Arthit showed up just when I would have said 'I do' to Anya. I had felt nothing but relief then horror at the sight of him. He looked like he needed medical attention immediately. What had happened to him?
When he had kissed me, I felt completely blown. For a moment I thought I was dreaming and that I would wake up soon and see that I was dreaming. But I wasn't, P'Arthit just announced to everyone that he loved me, my world bent and tilted towards hell instead of joy. I felt like my insides were being corroded by acid.
For a long time I have waited for this. For so long I wanted to be able to hold P'Arthit's hand in public, to be called his boyfriend by him. I wanted my parents to see this person standing in front of me as the man I loved with my whole life and everything I had.
Yet when it finally happened, it was the worst feeling in the world. I stood there as he declared his love for me and I stayed silent. I couldn't dare admit that it was the truth. I couldn't accept his feelings and that hurt me in a way nothing ever has and my eyes brought fort tears like a dam.
I speechlessly cried and said nothing.
He grabbed me around the lapels of my coat "Tell me why," he said.
I looked at him and shook with my pain and my tears flowed with the sound of pain I couldn't hold back.
"Because he loves me," Anya confidently stood in front of me. She took hold of P'Arthit's hand and he lets me go so fast like he has been burned and I staggered backwards
They stared at each other with malice.
"This preposterous," her father yelled. "Anya, what kind of a wedding is this? Is this how we do things?!"
Anya went rigid and she opened her mouth, "can you leave, P'Arthit, before I have you thrown out?"
P'Arthit looked at me. "Speak to me Kongpob, what did she tell you, it is all a lie."
I couldn't tell him, if he knows he would hate me. I told him he could trust me, if he knows I betrayed him... I couldn't face his disappointment.
"Why aren't you saying anything?!"
"Someone, please drag this man away from my wedding!" Anya yelled furiously.
"Tell me, right now, Kongpob."
That hazing voice. Damn him. I couldn't hold back anymore, I have to say something to him.
"P'Arthit, I..."
Anya turned to me with wide eyes. I didn't understand the fear in them. What does she have to be afraid of?
She shook her head and then she fell and I had to catch her. Everyone went quiet. Even the people who would carry P'Arthit out were shocked to see this.
I tapped her face but she didn't wake. For all intent and purposes Anya was unconscious. It was like we had planned when this was supposed to be a fake wedding, but Anya had told me to marry her. When she told me she was pregnant, she said that I had to save her reputation.
"Anya!? "her father rushed forward and dragged her from my hand. "Anya!" he shook her and she would not wake.
He was a big man with a mustache and bronze skin with a scar line on his forehead. Because of his hobble he could not hold her limp body by himself. "Someone help carry her and take her somewhere she can lie down," he commanded.
I watched standing next to P'Arthit as Anya was carried away by the men who would have dragged P'Arthit out.
"What was that?" P'Arthit asked me.
"I don't know," I shook my head.
He turned to me and held my eyes but I avoided his. "You really—"
I cut him off," you are hurt, P'Arthit, with Anya unconscious this wedding won't be happening." I wouldn't deny the feeling of joy in my heart; I was almost smiling because of it.
"We should get you to the hospital."
He seemed to remember that he was hurt, blood covered half his face and I was really worried about that. He reached his hands to it and I caught that hand before he could aggravate whatever wound was hidden in his hair.
We both paused, staring at each other like we were both strange and amazing at the same time. I started to smile, "P'Arthit, you told everyone."
"I don't think anyone took me seriously."
"You kissed me in public," I was nearly giddy with joy and I leaned forward towards him. He returned my smile and I could tell he was happy and not in regret over what he has done.
"I did. Too bad everyone is leaving or I would do it again."
We were standing on the make shift altar of my mother's porch and around us there were bustling and talking but the guests were being ushered away.
"I didn't say anything though," I lowered my eyes. "Are you disappointed?"
He shook his head and winced. "No, I know I surprised you and I know Anya must have spun some kind of lie to trap you." I tilted my head and opened my mouth to ask.
"Arthit, Kongpob," my mother's voice was loud and clear. We both turned and she stood below us, her expression grim. My father stood by her side, his expression passive.
P'Arthit shivered beside me.
"We need to talk," she said.
I knew that but I was growing concerned for P'Arthit. "Do we have to right now, mom, P'Arthit...?"
I didn't have to say any more. P'Arthit was leaning against my shoulder; I was nearly supporting all his weight.
"I lost a lot of blood, "he said and laughed shakily. "I didn't realize I would be this out of it.'
My father came forward to help me just as P'Arthit started to fall forward, unconscious. I kept my heart steady because he was in my arms, I will make sure he is okay.
"P'Arthit?"
My mother didn't come near us; she had a strong look on her face. "Your father can take him, you Kongpob will stay here."
I wasn't going to agree to that. "No, mom, I need to make sure P'Arthit is okay."
"He will be, your father will keep us informed about what is happening"
"But mom—"
"Have you forgotten the woman you are supposed to marry, the one lying unconscious because of this nonsense drama he brought here?" her voice has never been raised like this before.
I stared at her in stunned silence. "You will come with me while your father takes Arthit to the hospital, period."
She turned and walked away. I stood staring at her. She should have known that my wedding to Anya wasn't real, I don't think Anya would have told her about the pregnancy so why was she so serious.
"Go on son, I will take care of P'Arthit," my father said next to me. We were both holding P'Arthit, his arms over each of our shoulders.
I didn't want to; I didn't want to leave him after only now recovering him back into my life.
"I promise," my father said. My eyes left P'Arthit to his. I didn't understand the look in them; I couldn't tell what he was thinking now that he knows about everything. Still, I know he loves me and P'Arthit, I had to trust him. I nodded. He called one of Anya's father goons and who came and helped my father in my place. I stood and watched them take P'Arthit away.
When I climbed the stairs to look for my mother, it was very quiet; Anya's father was nowhere in sight. I passed my room and noticed that Anya had been placed on my bed, still unconscious, but when I walked in, she opened her eyes, looked at me and sat up.
We stared at each other in utter silence then she said, "Close the door, Kongpob."
I didn't do it immediately. "We both have a lot to lose if you don't listen to me."
I turned around and did as she wanted. She sighed and flung the piece of material that hung over her hear then her heavy earrings and necklace.
"Why did you decide not to go on with the wedding, Anya?" I knew for a fact that her 'faint' was not real. Maybe because it was what we talked about doing to end the wedding before she turned around and asked me to marry her.
"You don't understand anything, Kongpob,'" she sighed and flipped her hair around now that she had gotten rid of the braids.
"What don't I understand?"
"You were about to announce to the whole world that I am pregnant. That me, Anya, daughter of former commandant Rojhat, is pregnant before her wedding. Did you want to have me killed?"
I turned around, confused by the furniture in my own room and then I took a seat on the chair next to the window. "I don't understand."
"My father would murder me, if he thought I brought disgrace to his home. You don't know anything about my father. Do you think I was going to marry you because I love you so much? I was going to marry you to save myself."
I didn't believe her. I know her father seemed too military and hard but she was his only daughter, his only child, he wouldn't kill her because she was pregnant before marriage.
"Kongpob, you can't let anyone know about this," she said.
"I have to tell P'Arthit," I replied.
She scoffed, "no, you don't, if P'Arthit knows he would hate you to death, and then he would go crazy. Bad things happened between me and P'Arthit, he wouldn't believe that I am pregnant with your child."
I never fathomed for one moment that Anya could have lied about that. P'Arthit said she was lying even before knowing what it was.
"What bad business," I asked.
"It doesn't matter, he is going to tell you anyway."
"And if I tell him anyway?" I asked, because I really couldn't keep this secret from P'Arthit.
"Then I will have to kill the baby and myself in the process."
"Anya," I sighed.
"I am serious. Committing an abortion or a suicide is nothing compared to what my father would do to me, so that's just how it is. You can't tell anyone."
"But you are going to be showing soon, your father would know anyway."
She said nothing. "You could marry me, "she laughed weakly.
I can't even smile about that. There was no way I could ever bring myself to marry her, not again. It had been hard the first time and that was when I thought P'Arthit had abandoned me, but now that I know he hasn't, I can't give myself to Anya again.
She nodded at my silence and smiled with tears in her eyes, "it was a good dream. By the way Kongpob, I lied when I said I was only messing with P'Arthit about being in love with you."
I didn't even have the words to answer that.
"I am in love with you, I have been for so long and I thought I could somehow achieve my dream of being your little wife. I am sorry for what I did."
I shook my head," that's for another time Anya. What are you going to do?"
"I guess I will go far away," she said, "and then when the baby is gone I will give it away."
I felt such repulsion at that idea, I couldn't even speak.
"Yes, that's a good idea." She nodded and folded her hands.
The door was knocked and then my mother pushed it open. She saw me and her expression darkened.
"Kongpob, come with me."
I swallowed and rose to my feet.
"Anya deary, are you alright?" she asked.
"Yes mom, I don't know what happened, I just felt woozy all of a sudden."
"It's all that stress. Any person would collapse from having to deal with something like that at their own wedding." She gave me such a stink eye I would have been blown out through the window.
"It's okay mom, I understand P'Arthit's one sided feelings," she said.
"They aren't one sided," I denied.
"They better be, because you have already made a promise to marry Anya and you can't just walk out of it," she said and turned away.
I looked at Anya and she smiled. "My father is going to interrogate you about P'Arthit, what will you tell him? You better not tell him that what P'Arthit said is true."
"Why not. "
I have seen my father kill two gay guys before, I would hate for anything to happen to P'Arthit."
I walked out of my room and saw my mother's impatient stare. She was so angry with me that she can't even voice her anger and all her eyes can do is shoot them out like daggers.
I walked straight to her and she opened the door to my father's office for me to walk in. I gave her a look before she slammed the door on my face.
When I looked around it was dark but the lamp at the table came on and I see Anya's father's frightening face. On our first meeting I was a bit terrified of the man that fear doubled in this moment.
"Come and seat, Kongpob," he said. "There is so much I want to ask you."
I woke up to the smell of hospital, that antiseptic smell and of death. It brought so much unpleasant memories. I looked around me and there was no one there and save for the steady beeping of the monitors it was quiet. It was probably night now, the time hospitals are especially quiet. I used to sleep in it so I guess I am used to it.
I sat up without difficulty and tried to recollect my thoughts. I had broken into Kongpob's wedding and kissed him and then told everyone I loved him, that he was my boyfriend. I did that. A smile touched my lips.
I was still smiling when I see Kongpob's father come in. my smile shattered.
"You are awake," he said and placed a can of coke on the table then he stood and observed me.
"uh, dad, I mean sir..." I wasn't sure how to address him anymore. I have fallen very low in his eyes and he doesn't want to see me.
"Kongpob was very worried about you, he made me promise to watch over you."
"What! I was flabbergasted, "you don't have to do that, I am fine."
"He loves you very much," my heart froze.
We stayed silent as I tried to think of how to respond. What could I say, should I apologize. Tell him I am sorry his only son fell in love with someone like me?
I avoided his eyes but I can feel them looking at me. "I am very sorry," I whispered, "for lying all this time to you and for keeping you in the dark. I really wanted to tell you, Kongpob most especially, but I was... I was afraid.' I squeezed my hands together and kept my eyes away.
"It's my fault, for not making it easier for you two to talk to me. I wanted to give you two a chance to tell me yourself, I thought if I just confronted you with it you would be too afraid, I didn't want the two of you to be afraid of me."
I paused and tilted my head up, "I don't understand."
He nodded. "I have known for a while, Arthit son," he said.
"What?!"
"Yes," he came forward and sat with a kind smile.
"How long is a while?" I asked dreadfully.
"A year or so?" I looked upward thoughtfully.
"What?"
He laughed. "Kongpob thought he was very careful but I have caught the way he looks at you, and the words he says to you when he thinks I can't hear." He smiled, ""I guessed Kongpob is having a one sided crush but then you, when I had set a date for him, do you remember, last year. You were a mess. I knew then something was happening and I think if my wife wanted to accept it she would have seen it too."
I was speechless. Dumbstruck and stupefied beyond description. I spent all these years in dread that this man would hate me, that he would not want me to be with Kongpob, that he would keep us apart, try to pay me off, I thought I would lose him as a father figure. What have I been so afraid of? What have I sacrificed mine and Kongpob's life all these years for? This marriage, Anya, none of it would have happened.
"Don't cry," he said. "Dad is so sorry."
"I thought you would hate me," I said unable to hold back the tears even though I wanted to look strong, "I thought I would lose my second family. I wanted you to accept me so much, if only I had said something. If only I had come out with the truth. I am so sorry."
He hugged me as I cried tears of relief, tears of regret, tears of infinite pain, and he didn't rebuke, he didn't push me away. The way he looks at me hasn't changed.
"You are fine, I am at fault. I am so sorry."
We said a lot of things and he comforted me. it was strange to think about all the things, all the lies and all the hiding that Kongpob and I had done that we didn't even have to do.
When he left, Kongpob replaced him. He looked worn out. I had so much to say to him, I knew he wouldn't believe it.
"P'Arthit," he said, "are you feeling okay now?"
I nodded. "Did you bring anything? I am a little hungry."
He smiled weakly. "I did."
I took the snacks gratefully and said. "They said they are keeping me for the night, I have a concussion and they are worried of internal bleeding so they would just watch me."
I was in high spirits and talking a mile a minute but Kongpob was deeply down. "What's wrong, Kongpob?" I asked.
"nothing." He said.
"You don't sound like nothing."
"P'Arthit... do you think that we could... do you think that we could break up?"
The can of milk fell from my hand and I stared at him without words.
End of part One
Bye and thanks for reading.
Check out the side story for this series, it's out and located here: www.wattpad.com/693770654-i-will-follow-you
The second part of this story is up here: https://my.w.tt/Tm6veTCL0V
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