[SevenAU | Reckless Arc] GEODE (ENG)
3. Helios.
Helios never dared to look Beliung in the eye.
Partly because of his Zephyr power - an invisible wind that easily scooped up victims into its hole when someone looking directly in Beliung's eyes.
Partly because... like a servant's instinct towards his master, he didn't feel comfortable standing on equal footing with the person he was protecting. He couldn't focus on his job of protecting if he kept sticking close to him the way he imagined.
To be honest, Helios didn't feel like getting close to Beliung.
Actually, that was good. That way, if there were any incidents or mishaps in the future, neither of them would feel heartbroken. Or at least, Helios wouldn't feel heartbroken for Beliung.
He knew the other person treated him very badly. During a battle, Beliung would fight freely, leaving him struggling to run after him, sometimes he would even grab him by the neck and use him as a shield.
In the moments when all kinds of spears, swords, and they pierced his ridiculously small body, the first pain that appeared in Helios was the pain of being ignored and treated unfairly; and realizing that Beliung would never turn to him was even more painful than any weapon that humans aimed at Elementals like him.
Later, when he met Geode, many times he just wished he could be like him: not feeling joy, anger, love, or hate, not feeling pain, indifferent to the whole world... even though he knew it was a ridiculous wish, Helios often felt very sorry for himself. Especially in the past, when he and Beliung were the only two people who relied on each other.
Every night, Helios had to heal himself, sometimes taking hours, wasting all the strength from the afternoon snacks he ate carelessly.
After that, he sneaked into Beliung's bedroom near his own, sneaked close to his bed, and furtively checked his warm and soft blanket.
Sometimes, when Beliung was awake or asleep, he rarely opened his eyes completely, so he wasn't sure if he was really asleep; so Helios was quite nervous.
But when he heard the other person's steady breathing, which was very relieved, Helios knew he was having a good dream, silently wished him good night, and then sneaked out of the room.
Sometimes, he also stroked his hair, the thin willow-like bangs that gently brushed against his skin in the wind between battles, carrying a deep blue color that contrasted with the red of blood.
They were what left the strongest impression on Helios.
Although terrifying, Beliung's fighting form was his most beautiful form; and Helios... really liked it.
Every night, Helios would wait until the other person was fast asleep before daring to check on him, and he would also prepare Beliung's things for the next morning.
Even though he knew that he would never be grateful or show any gratitude, Helios was still blinded by the overwhelming feeling, always afraid that he would not treat him well, always wanting to devote all his strength to please him.
In Helios' eyes, Beliung was like a tarnished jewel that had been locked in the Lord's chest for too long.
Now it was time for them to show off Sinclair's abilities, time to polish the hidden stone in their souls.
Yes, that's right. "We" were all Sinclair Reckless. We all deserved better.
So, every time Helios saw Beliung injured, his mood immediately dropped, losing sleep and appetite, watching the other person without missing a second, constantly searching for different, faster and more effective healing methods.
When they went to bathe, seeing several scars formed on Beliung's back, overlapping his blue skin in the shape of a tattoo made Helios feel even more heartbroken.
He always carefully counted each scar, trying to cover them up, like covering up the scratches on a stone.
"A broken stone cannot be repaired." Helios thought sadly.
He always thought that he could single-handedly build a sturdy protective cage and that no hostile intentions could reach Sinclair, but Helios was not invincible.
He was very strong... but the element of light was not born to heal.
Helios's nature was to be the vanguard. Every finger and vein in his body was connected to the energy of the Sun, a star that could destroy the entire solar system when it reached the necessary size; they were not designed to heal the wounds of others.
Helios bitterly realized that at some point, he would no longer be able to protect Beliung. If he cared so much now and Beliung would not even look at him once, then when he was no longer of any value, what would he do?
Throw him back into the Retak Bell? Or take away the power of light and give it to... a more worthy form?
After chasing after Beliung for a while, the day finally came when he made the suggestion he disliked the most:
"Don't follow me to the battlefield tomorrow."
"Why...?"
"I see you're holding back your killing urges today."
So what? Hatred for those who harmed you, Beliung, is that my true feeling?
Helios remembered observing the enemies for a while, actually a long time. It wasn't until Beliung called out to remind him that it was done, to go back; Helios came back to his senses and ran back.
But what was the problem? How could it be the direct cause?
"Are you afraid that I'll turn around and kill you?" Helios was confused, but the words that came out of his mouth weren't.
"On the contrary. Helios is a protector," Beliung laughed again, his face turned away, even if a gust of wind blew by, it would cover his eyes again, "You shouldn't kill people."
"But you—"
"I've never done that, remember?"
Remember. Remember clearly. Even with that kind of personality, Beliung had never taken anyone's life.
But Helios...
If he lost his temper today, would he break his healer's rules and rush in to kill them?
"You should stay home and rest." Beliung didn't look, but still held and stroked Helios' gloved hand, "War isn't good for you."
Helios just wanted to say that he believed he had many ways to help him.
Sometimes healing Beliung; sometimes executing those who posed a danger to Beliung.
Any way would be useful.
*
Helios was bored at home, so he sought him out. The grandfather who raised them was also a doctor.
Helios diligently followed him, learning everything from him, trying to absorb as much specialized knowledge as possible.
Thanks to that, later, when he met Geode again, Helios took advantage of it to heal his leg. If it were him before, he would have been weak-hearted, pretending to nod in agreement, going along with Geode's intention to cut off his leg.
He realized the other meanings of the word "protection" that he had always kept in mind.
Helios, in the past, was always a kid who said "yes" to everything people said.
Grandpa patted his head, saying that he had changed very well. Although he always had to endure a long wait after a long day, wondering if Beliung was in too much danger out there, but at night, seeing him still returning with a constant smile made Helios feel relieved and as if he was being soothed by some divine power.
At some point, when Helios was more stable, he might continue to fight alongside Beliung.
But now everyone saw that day would never come.
After being expelled from Stonehert, Beliung, from a boy who only avoided problems and was carefree about all conflicts, suddenly changed completely. He was very fierce, ready to bully any other Element when he was not satisfied.
When Geode was first born due to a technical error in the Power Watch, Beliung wanted to drag his head back to the dead.
In fact, Helios somewhat understood that anger: Geode had almost no interest in moving around, always sitting still in one place, not saying a word, his eyes just staring into space ahead, feeding whatever anyone gave him; even when there was an incident, he had to let Nova and Blizzard drag him along. Someone who was a bit indifferent to everything like that was not what Beliung wanted at all on their difficult journey, like adding another burden.
The Retak Bell had drained Geode's emotional supply, turning him into an emotionless person, and suffering from Beliung's strange torture had further caused Sinclair's competitive nature to rise, wanting to overthrow Beliung.
Those two had argued fiercely for a long time, not with words, but making everyone tense.
Helios could only hold back, not daring to retort, having no opinion, just standing one step behind, praying that the two of them wouldn't kill each other, or that he could still be saved.
When Beliung lost the Retak bell, he wanted to run back into the forest to find it. Rimba tried to stop him, but he didn't listen, saying he could take care of it himself.
Helios had been with Beliung for almost two years now, and he knew everything about him: Sinclair was abandoned by Stonehert, so Beliung was scared and clung to the bell - his only memento of that place.
A child who was receiving love was suddenly thrown off the throne, Beliung must have been heartbroken... but no matter what, Helios couldn't read anything in those closed eyes.
Sometimes Helios thought that Behemoth had really successfully brainwashed Beliung. If it weren't for the fact that their lightning element had only recently awakened and they didn't have the chance to be accepted as Behemoth's apprentice, Lilin probably wouldn't be so gentle.
If Lilin were as scary as Beliung or Geode... Helios really didn't dare to think about it.
When Beliung was injured, Lilin was the fastest and the first to run to find him. Geode was not satisfied with that action, so he told Lilin that they would no longer be together.
Nova and Blizzard left afterwards, using the excuse of wanting to find the Lulapis, a stone that was said to be able to grant their wishes. Rimba stayed in the Face Forest because many of the travelers they met along the way always got lost and needed someone to guide them (this story will be told later).
Only Helios remained, his instincts did not allow him to abandon the patient, but he did not want to be on Beliung's side, nor was he in Nova's good graces, and he could not do things like guiding strangers to different realms like Rimba... so Helios had to stay with Geode, even though he said that "Beliung is not here".
Geode always knew Helios loved Beliung no matter what, but the more he loved him, the more he could not trust him.
If he followed Beliung, Helios would most likely make himself suffer, and help Beliung's extreme actions.
"I'm here to heal your leg. Don't be angry, Geode."
Geode wasn't angry. There was no way he could be angry.
*
However, however, knowing that things had turned out like this...
That night, when Geode went to sleep, Helios still sneaked into the forest again, looking for Lilin or Beliung's silhouettes.
Just like before, when he always secretly checked to see if he slept well.
Helios wanted to skip everything: he checked Retak'ka who was locked in the Bell, and when he was sure he was safe, he turned to Beliung.
There was a large scar on his head, still bleeding, wetting the white hem of his shirt.
For a moment, Helios almost rushed over and cried loudly, hugging him and saying, "Don't worry, don't worry, I'm here. I'll protect you, I'll heal you. I'll do anything for you."
But after a long period of practice, Helios held back. He just gently approached him, lifted him up, touched his forehead, and tried to heal it as quickly as possible.
This kind of wound had damaged the internal nerves too deeply, and he was afraid that even if he could heal the surface, it was uncertain if Beliung would be able to fully recover, and there would definitely be aftereffects.
Helios bit his lip. Doing such a horrible thing to a child, that freaking alien was truly terrifying.
He wouldn't let him out of the Bell anytime soon, even though it was already cracked a lot. He would find another bell to replace it.
Knowing that Beliung wanted to take the risk by himself, knowing that he also wanted to stay away from him and those sweet words... but every time Beliung was injured, Helios couldn't help himself. As long as he shed a drop of blood, Helios wanted to kill someone else to drain all his blood, returning the lost part to Beliung.
Helios' obsession would eventually make him suffer, so he chose to leave.
Carefully applying ice, adjusting the bandage, Helios stood up, slowly took one last look at Beliung, then slowly walked into the darkness.
Goodbye.
Even if we met again, he definitely wouldn't be Beliung anymore.
"Your most beautiful appearance..."
Helios muttered, looking up at the bright moon, "In the end, I can't see it anymore."
*
About six months later, Helios met Beliung again through news from Rimba. No, not exactly meeting, just sneaking a look. And that doesn't need to be called Beliung anymore.
Bluebel wandered the trails, struggling to find food, occasionally smiling when he saw his fishing net thrown out haphazardly caught a whole catch. Although a bit clumsy, his eyes were sparkling and shining beautifully.
It was funny, Helios had never seen his eyes before; and after "closing his eyes" for such a long sleep, Zephyr disappeared, those eyes turned out to be so lovely.
In the end, Helios could only stand by and observe, still "sneaking" like before.
He still didn't think he wanted to be close to Bluebel, partly because he didn't believe that he would live long enough before they could be close to each other the way Helios wanted.
Anyway, with the protection of the other Reckless; Bluebel didn't need Helios' protection anymore.
*
In contrast to the sparkling eyes that Helios had in his heart, one day, Geode returned with eyes that were even darker and gloomier than usual.
His clothes were also disheveled, his belt was also crooked, the fabric was wrinkled, and there was dirt somewhere.
Helios asked Geode where he was injured or who he had just fought with that made everything look so messy, then Geode just recounted what had happened an hour ago with an expression that couldn't be calmer.
After hearing that, Helios froze for at least (which he thought was an eternity, but in reality it was only) two minutes.
After that, he had to restrain himself (once again) from squeezing his shoulders, shaking him hard, and then growling out his voice to interrogate him.
No, Helios couldn't do that. Therefore, he found that the more he listened to that story, the more effort he used to calm himself down.
"So where is the Lord?"
"I don't know. When I woke up, he was gone. But at least he left the Lulapis in my hand."
Geode's voice sounded a little hoarse even though he didn't stumble over a word, probably because his body was still afraid of inertia.
"What's wrong? Don't you want to take revenge on him?" Seeing that Geode was too calm, Helios reminded him.
"Not interested in doing that."
"You've never been interested in anything."
"I have no intention of taking revenge on anyone who is not related to my main goal. I gave him something and he gave me the Lulapis, a fair exchange, there's no need to make a big deal out of it."
"... You've never been calm about such things if it was Beliung. It's all violence. And yet you're bowing down to him now." Helios suddenly sharpened his voice, not even he expected himself to be able to utter such a cruel tone, "What do you think our Holy Mark is? I told you, you have to protect your body. We have washed sin, sworn before the supreme god; and even if you don't have any of your own frivolous interests, you still have a duty to keep yourself pure. No one is allowed to see our mark! It's forbidden."
Geode took a step back from Helios's tone, but his face didn't change, "It's just empty dogma from the Church and... Behemoth. Do you care about it that much?"
"The problem isn't whether I care about it or not, it's that you don't realize that you're being manipulated by the Lord! Sinclair was spared from his clutches because he was chosen by the Church to wield the seven Elementals. You're part of Sinclair, proof that you're also the antithesis of greedy people like the Lord. And now, you kneel before him, you beg from him, you casually erase the evidence of our victory over him! What do you think of Sinclair's efforts and struggles! And yet you're so strong-willed towards Beliung!"
Beliung's name was mentioned again, which seemed to activate Geode's urge to protest; but since Helios was in front of him, Geode only spoke slowly:
"...You're the same; Helios, you don't care if this affects Sinclair's honor or hardship. You only care about Beliung. You still think that my actions will decide his reputation. You criticize because you selfishly don't want Beliung to be tainted by me because we're the same person. Even though your mouth says you've already cut ties, your mind and heart are always with him. What do I matter to you, I'm just your second choice. You're here just to secretly help Beliung and try to destroy me, try to fix me, so that I'll have to kneel myself before such a person once more..."
Such a person?
Such a person!
Although Geode spoke very slowly, and although Helios listened patiently, and also patiently waited for his anger to not explode...
SLAP!
However, Helios still couldn't hold back, for the first time.
He raised his hand and slapped Geode.
The slap tilted Geode's face to the side, but it wasn't strong enough to make him step back. It was different from before. "It was different from before."
Beliung had never said anything mean or cruel to Helios.
Beliung had never slapped Helios when Helios said something that wasn't to his liking.
Therefore,
"Don't insult Beliung." Helios was irritated, "Don't compare him to the Lord one more damn time."
Beliung wasn't someone like him.
Geode felt nothing after being slapped, other than the slap being quite light, most likely because Geode didn't understand enough to consider slapping as something big. He thought Helios would have to cut off his arms or legs to be worried.
He didn't understand the meaning of it, which was a good thing.
"If you like, slap freely." Geode muttered, not even touching his cheek to check if it was red.
Just now, when he saw that Geode didn't react, the Lord also slapped him a few times. He thought that doing so would make him, or Helios, feel better, although he didn't know why.
Helios almost got even angrier; but he immediately realized that his violent behavior (it wasn't exactly violent, the victim didn't feel any pain, the hit didn't leave any wounds); but it still made Helios shiver.
Without Beliung by his side, Helios truly became a violent person who was not worthy of being a protector at all. Just being provoked a little bit and he was already hitting someone.
Even Beliung was like that, Helios didn't dare to hit him; but seeing Geode resist a little, he wanted to teach him a lesson.
Was this violence something he learned from Beliung?
"War isn't good for you."
Did that person really care about him... and why was Helios willing to risk his life for someone like that, not knowing Beliung's feelings?
Geode still stared at Helios, feeling like he was waiting to be hit.
Helios bit his lip, turned his back, "Forget it."
Stop it all, stop arguing, he was tired.
"I don't want to hear about this anymore." Helios finally said.
Forget it?
"Helios doesn't want me either?"
For the first time, Geode switched to an approachable state instead of a passive one. He added, "The lord... seems satisfied after doing so."
Helios paused.
"I think I have a function that can please others... so I wonder if my lack of emotions is just for the convenience of that. Maybe, if you want me... if you feel like you should vent your anger on me, then do it. Don't keep it inside."
"..."
"Even though I know I'm just a worthless hollow rock, I still hope that someone will bring a gem and put it inside. Today, someone finally gave me Lulapis."
This was the first time he had found Lulapis by himself without help, even if the method...
Actually, Geode said that because he didn't want to leave Helios. He also had a feeling that if he was careless enough to displease Helios, he would run after Beliung again.
Was it because Geode cared about Helios, or was it simply because he didn't want Beliung to have more allies?
It didn't matter.
Those words, spoken with a heavy expression; made Helios ache to the bone, "Don't say anymore. Go with me to the stream."
Geode raised his face, looking at Helios again.
Geode's eyes had no special pattern, the pupils were dilated, feeling the presence of soullessness. The yellow color was also faint, covered with a sad expression that made it look even more pitiful.
Completely different from the mysterious eyes of Sinclair or Beliung.
"What will you do over there?"
"I'll wash you." Helios sighed, "I... am not a good protector, the knowledge that the doctor grandfather taught me has gradually been forgotten due to the effects of the Red Giant, so I probably won't... can't cure your heart wound, or even the dirty things that the Lord left on you, or... the Holy Mark. I can't save anything."
Helios then explained more clearly, "But I will try my best. It can't disappear completely, but I will remember them. You and I will endure it together."
The scars.
I used to wish they would disappear forever.
But...
Geode nodded, clearly not angry at all.
Helios felt a little better. He smiled. When he smiled, it felt like light was shining through, illuminating everything.
If only he had had the courage to say this to Beliung back then.
*Tbc*
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