Kabanata 18
Kabanata 18
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
BULLET
"Who are you?" I asked the man I caught lurking around our house.
He stopped. I noticed him wearing a bright green jacket, a familiar delivery company logo imprinted on the back but he seems off.
Mabilis siyang bumaling sa p'westo ko pero natatago pa rin ng sumbrero ang mata.
"Ma'am, delivery po," aniya, nakatungo pa rin.
"From who?" I asked coldly, my eyes scanning him secretly for weapons. Calculating the distance in my advantage if he attacked me.
"Padala raw po," aniya.
"From who?" I asked again, not taking my eyes off him.
Kakauwi ko lang galing sa agency. My husband wasn't here, he's visiting his parents with Twinkle kaya ako lang ang nandito at ang mga guards.
Thank, fuck.
"Hindi po sinabi, anonymous," aniya at sumulyap sa motor niya.
I took a step forward. He tensed.
"What item?" I asked naturally, "can I see?"
"Opo, Ma'am," aniya sabay abot sa bag sa likod ng motor niya. Pinanuod ko siyang may kinuha at mabilis na inangat ang baril sa tapat ng mukha ko.
He thought he had the disadvantage but he was so fucking wrong. Just as my eyes leveled with the gun's barrel, I seized his arm, caught the gun from his grip and turned it against him instead.
Namilog ang mata niya sa gulat at napaatras.
I smiled coldly.
"Sinong nagpadala sa 'yo dito?" I asked.
"Nag-de-deliver lang po—"
"Ng ano? Baril?" Natawa ako at mas idinikit sa ulo niya ang baril. "Sinong nag-utos sa 'yo?"
He tried fighting, I rolled my eyes.
"Don't fight," I snapped. "If you don't want your brain splattered on the ground."
His shoulders squared and froze. Inikot ang tingin at habang nakatutok sa huli ang baril ay pinindot ang comms.
"Jay," I called.
"Bullet? Why?"
"Access the cameras around my house,"
"Will tell Clau," nang natahimik siya saglit ay pinaling ko ang ulo ko sa lalaki, itinuturo ang likod ng bahay.
"Walk," I commanded. Nang 'di siya gumalaw ay mas itinutok ko ang baril sa balat niya, "I said walk."
He was scared. I could feel it.
I didn't need to tell him twice because he obliged. Naglakad siya papunta sa likod ng bahay, malayo sa mata ng mga guards at maids na p'wedeng makakita.
"Bullet?" I heard Clau's voice on my ear.
"Do you have visuals?"
"Yeah," aniya. "Who's that man?"
"Don't know," I answered. "Saw him lurking around the house."
"Take your phone," aniya. "Send me his face, I'll do a quick scan."
I did what she told me and when the asshole tried resisting, I tilted my head and unlock the safety of the gun. It even had the silencer. The shit's prepared of taking someone's life today, huh?
Plot twist. It will be his.
"Don't move," I threatened.
After snapping a photo and sending it to Clau, I interrogated him again but the asshole's tight-lipped. He won't even fucking sing even if he's life on my palms.
"Ex-convict," ani Clau. "Drug and firearms smuggling, prostitution and child trafficking."
My jaw clenched. I gave him a cold look and pressed the gun more on his forehead.
"Who sent you?"
"Wala!" Sigaw niya sa 'kin.
It pissed me off when his saliva landed on my fucking arm. I grimaced.
"Don't make me say this thrice," I spat. "Who sent you?"
"Wala nga sabi! Putang ina mo!" I smacked his mouth with the back of the gun. He coughed and bled.
"Who. Sent. You?" I grimaced, kicking his leg when he tried fighting me off with it.
"Sinabi nang wala! Ang yabang-yabang mong babae ka! Akala mo ba kakayanin mo 'ko—" I shot his leg. He screamed in pain and cried.
It was music to my ears.
"Hmm? You were saying...?" I smirked, "'di kita kakayanin? Ikaw?"
"Bitch!" He hissed while glaring at me.
Men. They didn't even have other insults but to call women bitch, whore, cunt...whatever. They think it's the definition of a weak one.
Well, if that's how he treat me, then, he's a dick.
I mockingly stared at him, making sure my eyes would be enough to do the insult. To step on his big ego—bigger than his fucking balls.
He spit on me—well, he at least he tried before his mouth met his own gun again.
I'll give him an A for the effort.
"Don't piss me off," my jaw clenched. "Unless you want a slow death. Who sent you?"
He didn't answer. I smacked him again.
"Did you take pictures of the kid?"
That's what got his attention.
"'Yong bata?" aniya. "Sino ba 'yon? Mukhang importante, ah?"
I kept my cool.
"Who sent you to take photos of her?" I asked. "Who's your boss?"
Ngumisi siya, ang naninilaw na ngipin kanina'y pula na sa dugo.
"Mahalaga pa ba 'yon?" Natawa siya, "eh, wala na 'kong pakialam kung sino mang boss na 'yon! Kung nakuha ko ang bata, mas maraming pera! Maraming kliyente ang gusto ng bata—"
And I lost my fucking cool.
Sunod-sunod ang tawag ni Jayden at Clau sa comms pero nagdilim na ang paningin ko. Even if I don't have a heart—I knew for a fact I still feel a lot of things but empathy? For these people?
No. It never once existed.
I couldn't even recognize the asshole's face when I'm halfway in beating him up. He still won't fucking talk. He continued taunting me, making fun of me. Even pissing me off more talking about my Twila Klein and how he'd sell and make money out of her if he got her.
You should no better than to piss Scythe.
It will be mercy to give him a quick death but I'm not a saint. For this one, I'll give him a slow...excruciating one.
I managed to take him away from the village secretly to wait for my team.
Napailing-iling si Jayden pagkarating ng van kung nasaan ako at ang lantang-gulay na lalaki. He was coughing with blood but I'm not done yet.
My palms are stained with his blood, for beating him up and cutting him open. I don't feel anything. It just feels numb.
"Bullet," suminghap si Claudine. "Your hands..."
"It wasn't mine," I shrugged.
"What are you planning to do with him?" Sulyap ni Jayden sa lalaking sumusubok pang gumapang paalis. Claudine kicked his face and he fainted.
She giggled.
"Can you torture him for me?" I asked the two.
Natigilan si Claudine at nanlaki ang mata sa 'kin.
"Hindi ka pa rin sinagot? Where are we taking him?"
"No," I answered. "But he almost slipped earlier. He said he didn't know, it was someone from the inside. When I asked him further, he won't answer."
"We'll take him to the factory," ani Jayden. "Kailan mo babalikan? I'll torture him for information, do you think this one's not from boss?"
"I'm not sure, but I guess he doesn't answer to him directly," bumuntong-hininga ako. "This is an inside job—probably on Zion's side."
He nodded.
"Alright, kami na ang bahala rito," ani Jayden na binuhat ang lalaki. I helped him and after throwing him at the back, sinulyapan ko si Clau.
"You okay with it?" I asked.
She nodded, "nakakawindang pa rin makakita ng gano'ng karaming dugo pero..." she chuckled. "Sanayan na lang."
"Sorry," I sighed. "I didn't plan this. Just caught him trying to sneak inside."
"Ayos lang," ngumiti siya. "It was the least we can do to help. Anyway, speaking of Theia..."
My stomach churned.
"I'll come with you in the warehouse, let's talk on the way."
Habang nasa biyahe ay nag-usap kami ni Clau. She told me more information about Theia. She was seen in some CCTVs during Zion's graduation in college, confirming she was that girl I saw in the video with him.
She managed to track down Zy's old batch mates and all of them are saying Zy publicly courted someone before. He even confessed his feelings for her in public with big gestures and that she ran away after that, never to be seen again.
She didn't graduate. She just vanished. Their professors doesn't seem to mind.
When asked what does she looked like, they're all clueless. She was just known as the Sadako. Palagi raw kasing nakatakip ang mukha.
Sadako...
I suddenly remembered Deion. He mumbled that last time he was drunk.
Does he know something?
I secured the perimeter around while the two's strapping the asshole on the chair. When he woke up, I interrogated him again and got the same answer.
There is someone from the inside. I must know who the hell was it. If he or she was close, there's a bigger possibility it will endanger Twinkle. I can't risk.
Not after knowing a lot of people was interested of my princess.
There's no way in hell.
Wala ako sa sarili habang papauwi. Inihatid pa ako ng dalawa at binalaan tungkol kay Wyatt.
They said he was suspicious and decided to meddle with my mission.
"I heard they would confront you after this week's exchange. If it was failed again," ani Clau. "Joe will be joining."
"That asshole," I sighed.
"Be careful," ani Jayden na nilingon ako. "Hindi pa siya nagdududa sa 'min ni Clau pero hindi natin sigurado. There are eyes and ears everywhere. They shouldn't know we're in contact outside the mission."
How did I get my friends involved in this? Yes, friends. They're my friends.
Sinulyapan ko si Clau na patuloy sa pagpindot sa laptop niya para burahin ang mga CCTV footage kung saan kita akong hinihila ang duguang lalaki.
And Jayden, the agency's one of the best fighter was also here, helping me.
"Thank you," I mumbled.
Natigilan silang dalawa at sinulyapan ako.
"I know helping me was risky,"
"I'd be happy to," Clau answered without second thoughts. "Kayo lang ni Jayden ang pamilya ko...I'd risk anything for my mini family?"
My heart ached again. I don't want to cry. I don't cry.
I clenched my jaw.
"It's nothing," ani Jayden at umiling sa 'kin, ang ngiti'y kita sa salamin. "You and Clau's everything I got. I'll protect you two."
Umiling ako.
"You shouldn't," I whispered. "I got nothing to offer."
"Who said you don't?" ani Clau, "you are our friend! For years now, Bullet. Tayo lang ang mayro'n tayo simula no'ng pinasok tayo sa mundong 'to. It was cruel...but at least I have you two. Don't tell me you got nothing to offer."
I fisted my palm.
I hate it. That I feel something. That I'm breaking not just in pain—but with happiness, too. I have friends. They're my friends."
"You had a heart, Bullet," ani Jayden. "It's okay to be fragile too, at times. Iiyak mo na 'yan. Tayo-tayo lang naman."
"I don't," I gave him a sharp look.
Clau chuckled.
"Shh, Jay, don't force her," umiling ang huli. "She was just slowly accepting her heart's not made of stone."
"I don't have a heart," I grimaced. "This was just an organ used to pump blood—"
"Blah...blah..." Clau rolled her eyes. "I've seen you. I'm watching you, Bullet. If you think we weren't your friends—I'm proclaiming na we are! Yehey!"
When she hugged me, my eyes widened.
"H-hey—my hands are still—"
"I don't care, friend!" She hugged me more.
Tumawa si Jayden.
"Admit it, Bullet. Embrace it," aniya na may ngiti. "And you can't hide the fact that you love that kid—even your husband—"
"N-No—"
"Sus," ngumisi sa 'kin si Clau. "Kunwari ka pa, as if naman 'di ka namin nakitang nakikipaghalikan sa parking ng DEA kahapon—"
"What?!" I screamed. "How?! I mean..."
Tumawa sila.
"You asked us to monitor the parking, remember?" She smiled wickedly.
I stiffened.
"Busy kami kumakain ni Jay tapos biglang may lumitaw sa screen na naghahalikan! Akala namin kung sino pero pagkita ng blonde na buhok, alam na—"
"Shut up..." nag-init ang mukha ko.
"It's not just that! Dumiretso pa sa sports car! Tapos 'di lumabas ng twenty minutes! Kung 'di lang tinted, baka may live show—"
I screamed and showered them with curses. Sumabog ang tawa nila sa loob ng kotse.
Fuck! I forgot!
Sinabihan ko silang mag-lie-low. I don't want to risk them both for this, too. I told them I'll be the first to call if I need them.
I don't need Wyatt raising suspicions for them, too. Sapat nang ako lang.
I realized my hand still had streaks of dry blood when I reached the village. Good thing wala ang asawa at si Twinkle.
I made my way by climbing up the walls to sneak inside the house. Don't want the guards to see me this way.
My cheek was itchy but I refuse to let the asshole's blood touch my face.
And Wyatt. Damn it. I have to do something. If he was suspicious of me now, mas magiging mahirap na sa 'kin ang lahat ng 'to.
I still have a lot of dreams! Like kill and torture Bernard for damaging my bikes! My babies! I still wanted to burn Wyatt fucking alive and maybe his son and him will meet in hell after.
I sighed.
And the damn USB!
Gusto kong tumalon-talon sa dami ng iniisip at dapat gawin!
Maybe what they're saying are true. I do have a heart. Maybe just a small piece still functioning correctly in that sense—love.
If I don't, maybe I was already done with this mission. I told them about Twinkle, kill Zion and fucked DEA.
But the thought of seeing Twinkle in danger, of seeing my husband in blood, in pain...I realized I'd rather fuck this mission up a million times just to keep them safe.
Oh, God.
I've been so soft...
Something purred on my feet. I smirked at the cat.
"Hey, Meow-meow," I smiled. "Hindi ka pa ba pinakain?"
He purred again. Idinantay Niya ang mabalahibong ulo sa paa ko at umikot-ikot.
"Alright, later. Let me clean this mess up. Mommy will be back." Paalam ko bago umalis para pumasok sa kwarto namin ni Zion.
Yeah, well. We sleep together.
Why not? It's not like we can be separated anymore! The first night I slept on my bed again after we reconciled, aba, ginapang ba naman ako! Mabuti nga at 'di pa ako nakakaayos ng pantulog talaga!
And the second night, ako naman ang gumapang sa kanya. Nagpanggap pang gulat ang gago pagkakita sa 'king pumapasok sa kwarto niya. If i know sinadya niyang nakaawang para papasukin ako!
I glared at him when I saw him in the dark. I caught him closing his eyes. He pretended sleeping.
To wake him up—quote unquote, I sucked his dick.
Nagising kunwari.
This little shit.
Everytime, I'd take a shower before sleeping. The room in full darkness whenever I go out. Mukhang nasanay na sa 'king gano'n. Sa umaga ako ang mauunang magising sa kanya at mag-aasikaso kay Twinkle para sa tutor niya.
Sarado ang ilaw sa kwarto dahil wala namang tao at hindi siguro makakauwi ang dalawa ngayon.
Dire-diretso ako sa banyo, hindi na pinansin ang nakabukas na ilaw at dumiretso sa sink para hugasan ang tuyong dugo sa kamay ko.
I removed any dried remnants of it, pissed of him. Mabuti na lang at 'di natalsikan ang damit ko!
I reached for the towel to dry my hand.
"Hun?"
I tensed.
Fuck?
Mabilis kong nilingon ang direksyon at napatikhim nang Makita si Zion sa ilalim ng shower.
"Zy...I don't know you..."
His blue eyes watched me in confusion, his hair falling down his back and shoulder still wet from the shower.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Nag..." tumikhim ako at sinulyapan ang sink para tignan kung may dugo pa roon. "May inasikaso lang sa agency. The asshole made me do some errands and—"
"Are you bleeding?" He asked, his voice tensing.
Hindi pa ako nakakasagot ay lumabas siya sa shower. My jaw dropped upon realizing he's on his birth suit.
His chest's still glistening with drops of water, his arms and...fuck...his cock's in full view!
"I know you like my dick, baby, but you are fucking bleeding."
I snapped back and stared at him in confusion. He raised my palm he took and I saw a cut on my palm.
"Oh..."
"Oh?" Nagsalubong ang kilay niya. "You are wounded and you'll say oh?"
Ngumuso ako, "what am I supposed to say? I didn't know na may sugat, and that blood wasn't mine—"
"Tss, what kind of errand?" Aniya at inilapit ang kamay ko sa sink, I watched him clean it with his soft caress. My heart jumped.
"You know, errands," I answered meaningfully. He sighed.
"You really should leave that asshole and join DEA instead," aniya. "Ikaw na ang magiging boss do'n, Tish. Batugan naman ako."
I laughed. Nakita ko ang pagtatago ng ngiti niya sa labi.
"So, you admit you're a lazy ass?" I grinned.
"Hmm...if that's what's keeping you awake at night,"
I chuckled. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. He kissed the tip of my nose.
"I love you," he confessed for the nth time.
"Every shattered pieces of mine are yours," I answered back and when his eyes glistened, I looked down my palm. Nag-iinit ang pisngi.
"Look at me, my love," aniya.
Umiling ako.
"Hun...kilig ka?"
"Tss, ayos na 'yang kamay ko, maliligo pa ako, Zion!"
"Shy ka, misis?" Bumungisngis siya. Sumimangot ako nang pumunta siya sa likod ko at habang mukhang nakayakap na inihatid sa sink ang palad ko para banlawan.
"Shut up," I whispered, my cheeks heating.
He pressed behind me. I caught up a breath. He chuckled.
"Are you pressing your dick behind me?" I snapped.
He shook his head, "am I?" Nagkatinginan kami sa salamin.
I glared. He smiled innocently.
Hinila ko na ang kamay ko paalis sa kanya bago siya bahagyang tinulak at hinarap.
I stripped off my tank top in front of him. His eyes fell on my chest. Tinalikuran ko siya at hinawi ang buhok ko.
"Unlocked my bra, please," I requested.
I could feel his heavy breathing as he unlocked my bra, I let it fall from my arm as I unzipped my leather pants and bowed to removed it.
He cursed when my butt touched him.
"Honey," he called.
"Hmm?" I hummed and kicked my pants off. I faced him again with nothing but my black thongs.
He sighed loudly.
"Are you teasing me, wife?" He breathed, "not now, baby. We still have to clean your wound—"
Hinubad ko ang panty ko at hinagis sa kanya. He cursed loudly, caught itx and closed his eyes.
"Fuck me," he cursed and brushed his wet hair frustratedly.
"Oh, I will," I grinned at him and walked in the shower, "that's if you want to join me?"
He was behind me in a matter of seconds. Tumatawa pa ako nang mahuli niya ako at gigil na yumakap sa likuran pero napawi lang 'yon sa sunod-sunod naming halikan.
I couldn't get enough of this man. He was drugs. Addicting, insatiable. He's making me feel so damn high...so alive...like I was capable of loving and being loved.
He pushed me on the wall, my chest squeezing on the tiles while we're both drenching because of the shower. I could feel him pushing my hair out of my back, tracing my tattoo with his fingers like he'd never seen such wonderful art piece in his life.
"Beautiful," he kissed my spine.
My heart raced.
Really? It's beautiful?
"I got it to hide the burns," I whispered, trying to distract him but it doesn't faze him, he continued kissing his way down.
"Still beautiful," he answered.
I always adored my tattoos but not everyone wanted to see the beauty in it when it's with women. Wyatt was so mad after knowing I got this, he punished me with lashes, saying it doesn't suit me. To cover the scars it left and more burns, I added more tattoos to just piss him off.
The men I met before was weirded out, some didn't bother hiding their dislikes.
But now, knowing my husband always loved it. I felt contented and full. Proud.
He liked my tattoos ever since we met. In our sleep, he'd kiss it until he got tired of it, he'd always hug me from behind, kissing my nape and my back.
He liked it when he fucks me from behind. He said he liked tracing my tattoos with his kisses, erasing the awful memories of burns and scars with his passion and love.
And I did.
Everytime I think of my tattoos, I only remember his passionate love making. His soft and gentle kisses.
Him.
I have never experienced love, didn't even know if ever I did before but with him—I always think this intense feeling I couldn't name was a mixture of something old and new—but never in between.
It was so sweet.
We made love under the shower, both drenched in water and heat and in bed with both of us still wet—literally.
Ang ending naligo kaming dalawa ulit. Now I was sitting on the sink, wrapped in white robe and towel on my wet hair. Like a marshmallow.
Nagkatinginan kami. He stole a kiss. My lips protruded, asking for more. He didn't disappoint.
"Beautiful marshmallow," he tapped my chin and continued cleaning my wound.
Tahimik ko siyang pinanuod at nagtanong, "where's Twinkle?"
"In her room," aniya. "Pagod na pagod. Nakipaghabulan sa mga pamangkin niya sa bahay kanina. Plakda sa biyahe."
I nodded, smiling. I swayed my feet back and forth before lifting it up to wrap it on his waist, pulling him closer to me.
He chuckled and looked down at me. I smirked and lifted my head to kiss his chin.
"Thank you, honey," I whispered.
His beautiful blue eyes widened. He pretended to be melting with his knees wobbling.
"A-ang tamis, nanghihina ang tuhod ko," he coughed weakly.
I shook my head and chuckled, wrapping my arms around his body and moved my ear to his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat.
The sound of it was peaceful, calm and soothing in my ear. He brushed my hair while I was enjoying the beating of his heart, grateful he gave me a part of it.
Hopefully that could grow into something bigger because I want to feel love, too. So I could love him and Twinkle.
"What's bothering you, misis ko?" His husky voice whispered.
I shook my head.
"Nothing, ang bango mo lang," I buried my face more on his chest.
"Mabango lang? Hindi gwapo?" He chuckled when I pinched his waist at unti-unti akong itinulak palayo sa kanya para sapuin ang pisngi ko.
From my eyes, his eyes landed on my cheek.
"You've been scratching your cheek again,"
I looked away but he caught my cheek again.
"I told you, we should see a doctor," hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko. "It's red, Tish. Sa susunod magkakasugat na 'to."
"I'm okay," I assured him. "I've talk to my dermatologist, she said wala namang problema sa balat ko. It's just a mannerism or something." I shrugged. "Nothing special."
"Do you have ointments?" aniya at muling hinaplos ang pisngi ko. I settled my face on his palm instead, nodding while locking gazes at him.
Dahil doon ay nahulog ang iilang hibla ng buhok sa mukha kong kumawala mula sa t'walya. His gaze intensified.
"Hmm, stop worrying, Zy," I kissed his palm. "It'll be better in no time."
He didn't answer and to my confusion, he pulled the towel off my hair, making my messy and wet hair falling all over my face.
"The fuck?" Umayos ako ng upo at bumusangot sa kanya, inangat ang kamay para hawiin ang buhok pero hinuli niya lang. "What?"
"Just..." in between the strands of my hair, I saw him watching me intently. "Can you look at me in between your strands?"
Mas kumunot ang noo ko.
"Sinali ka ni Deion sa kalokohan niya 'no?" I asked.
Mas nagsalubong ang kilay niya, "what? Dei asked you to..."
"Hmm..." I nodded my head, still not removing the annoying strands of hair from my face. "Remember when you came home drunk? He was drunk too and you know what? Ang we-weird n'yo sa pamilyang 'to, ano?"
He laughed, his eyes twinkled with amusement.
"What did he say? Gano'n talaga sa pamilya namin, misis ko. We don't call it weird—it's called unique."
I rolled my eyes, "he asked me the same thing you did then called me Sadako, do I look like a creepy ghost to you?"
He didn't laugh, he just watched me closely and tilted his head.
"Impossible," he mumbled with disbelief, "no, I'm just overthinking."
Hindi ko nakuha ang huling sinabi niya.
"Huh?" Hinawi ko na ang buhok at tinitigan siya, "I'm confused, Sandejas."
"Nothing, hun," he shook his head at me. "I just remembered someone. Remember when I lost my memories because of an accident?"
I nodded.
"There's this someone from my past, back in college. They are calling her Sadako."
Oh...
Theia.
How could I forget for a moment?
His Theia.
The one he married first—or almost did.
My throat tightened but I played it cool.
"Ex mo?" Asar ko pa para gumaan pero seryoso lang siya.
"Sabi nila," sagot niya, pinapanuod ang reaksyon ko. "They said she was an ex."
"Mahal mo pa 'no?" I asked with a force smile. He didn't smile again and touched my lips.
"Quit forcing a smile, wife," he said seriously. Nawala tuloy iyon at seryoso ko siyang tinignan.
"What? It's okay, I'm sure you have exes in the past. I do, too, I'm sure. Hindi naman sa nagseselos ako kasi una, 'di naman ako selosa."
Tumaas ang kilay niya.
I shrugged, "anyway, I'm exhausted. I should go to sleep."
Bababa na sana ko sa pagkakaupo ng sink pero hinuli niya ang braso ko. He carried me by placing his hands on my armpits and took me back to the sink.
"Why?" I asked blankly. I'm too good at showing no emotion but he could always see right through it.
"You're jealous," he pointed out. I frowned.
"I'm not," I snapped. "Why would I be jealous? Hindi ako selosang tao, Zion Schauffer,"
"Ako rin," aniya. "'Di ako seloso."
Naglaban kami ng tingin, sa huli ay napairap na ako at bumuntonghininga.
"If you still love her, that's alright," I started off, "I'm not stopping you from feeling things you couldn't stop. After this mission, we could file an annulment—"
He attacked me with aggressive kisses to stop me from babbling. I pushed him away before I couldn't stop myself from kissing him back.
"Why are you kissing me? Patapusin mo 'ko," I brushed my hair frustratedly, trying my best to hid my blush with a glare. He smirked. "I'm saying that it doesn't matter, I understand if you like her—"
"I'm in love with you," he blurted.
My jaw clenched. My eyes started hurting for glaring at him so much.
Umiling siya at muling hinaplos ang pisngi, "I couldn't remember the girl fully, glimpses, yes. I can remember her watching me in between her hair. It reminded me a bit of your intense gaze. You're always looking at me that way, parang galit na galit ka pero gusto mo akong kainin."
I smacked his face. He chuckled and caught my palm, kissing my fingers one-by-one while locking gazes with me.
Weirdly enough it didn't hurt. May hapdi pero ewan ba kung bakit pero mas gumagaan ang loob ko t'wing naririnig ko sa kanyang mahal niya 'ko.
"What if you see her again?" I asked.
"I'll say hi," he shrugged. "Then I'll introduce to her my beautiful wife."
My heart raced. Nag-iwas ako at sumubok tumalon paalis sa sink pero nahuli lang ako ulit ng asawa at pinaupo. He laughed and caged my body with his large one. Nahulog ang hibla ng buhok niya sa pisngi at binasa ang labi.
"Kinikilig ka, misis?"
I frowned.
He caught my chin in between his fingers and watched me closely as he planted a peck, "I love you. You, Bevurleigh Leticia Sandejas. Not anyone else. You."
Doon na sumikip ang dibdib ko. I didn't know if it was for happiness or the pain of not being able to say it back when I'm dying to.
I nodded, "I know." Hinuli ko ang palad niya niya at dinala sa dibdib ko. "I know." I locked gazes with him.
It was enough for him. His blue orbs brightened more as he intertwined our fingers.
"After this, I promise you, I'll get you out of that shit hole." Sumulyap siya sa palad ko, "always remember that if you need anything, I'm here, hun. You are under my protection."
I chuckled.
"Alright, Reaper," I purred, "I beg for death for everyone who'd kill me."
Mas kumislap ang mata niya at natawa, "you won't die, baby, ako ang papatay sa 'yo, sa sarap."
He grinned. My hand lurked beside me to get something until I touched scissors, habang lumalapit siya sa 'kin para sa halik ay inangat ko ang gunting para takutin siya pero nasa ere pa lang ay naramdaman ko ang kung ano sa may dibdib ko.
I stiffened and lowered my gaze, only to see the sharp end of another scissor on my chest.
"Fuck?" I whined.
He cackled, "na-uh, not too fast, honey."
Hinuli niya ang kamay kong may hawak na gunting para itapon kung saan at ang hawak niya'y ginamit para hawiin ang robe ko pagilid.
My boob got out and the hell, my husband lowered his head to put in inside his mouth. I moaned.
Fucking little shit.
In the end, you know the drill. I ended up getting bent on the sink with him from behind while he's fisting my hair and fucking me until I saw stars.
"How could I help easing the itch?" aniya nang mahuli na naman akong nagkakamot ng pisngi.
It was too late when I realized I'm doing it. Umiling ako.
"Nothing, it's okay, I'll get over it."
To my surprise, he bent down and placed a long and sweet kiss on my cheek.
"I hope a kiss would help," he kissed it more.
I smiled, "ano 'yan? Gamot?"
"Yeah," he kissed it again, "kisspirin,"
I laughed loudly at his usual corny ass. But well, it eased the itch.
Kumislap ang mata niya. It reminded me so much of his sister, Twila Klein.
"Mahal talaga kita," he breathed loudly, as if it was both a blessing and a curse he's head over heels.
He also put an ointment on my cheek, his skillful hands careful and gentle.
Buhat-buhat ako at nakakakapit ako sa batok ni Zy nang matapos at inilabas na niya ako sa banyo papunta sana walk in closet nang makarinig kami ng boses.
"Tagal, gawa ba kayo po ng pamangks ko?" We both stiffened, our eyes seeking in the dark and a loud gasp left my lip as I caught an amber sleepy pair from the bed.
"Twila!" Tumalon ako mula sa braso ng asawa at inayos ang robe, "k-kanina ka pa, sweetheart?"
She yawned, "medyo-medyo po!" Bumungisngis siya, yakap ang unan at sa hita ay si Meow-meow.
"Wait, darling," hinila ko si Zion na nakikipagtitigan sa kapatid papunta sa walk in closet. He was laughing when he caught me glaring at him while wearing my underwear.
"What? She's asking, gumagawa na raw ba tayo ng pamangks niya—" tinapunan ko siya ng shirt sa mukha. Mas lumakas ang tawa niya.
"Tss, bilis! Ala-una na, gising pa 'yong maliit! Puro ka kabastusan d'yan!"
I left him laughing but my palms found a way on my flat stomach.
A child?
We didn't use condom tonight but I'm on birth control but still...it made me wonder if I will have a child with him. I'm sure he'll be a good father, the way he interacts with Twinkle was enough proof. The main question would be...will I be a good mother?
Something hollow filled my chest. Nanlamig ako at nangunot ang noo nang maramdaman ang kirot sa ulo.
Weird voices came back in my head as it throbbed. Words I couldn't comprehend but I can hear cries—mine and someone else.
Bahagya akong nawalan ng balanse at napapikit para sumandal sa pader, ikinakalma ang sarili.
I've been getting migraines—intense ones these days that sometimes I'm losing consciousness for a minute or two. Thankfully, nasa labas ako o kaya'y kasama ko sina Clau kapag nangyayari iyon.
They advised me to go seek doctor's help. I assumed it was just stress and lack of sleep.
Why the hell am I overthinking? Ang dami ko na ngang iniisip dadagdag pa ang mga walang kwentang ganito? A child?
Heck, I don't consider it—not now. I don't think I'll be a good mother, raising one in my situation will be fucked up. I don't want him or her to grow killing people to live.
No...
"Ate Bullet?" A gentle tug on my night dress and I opened my eyes to meet a beautiful and sleepy amber ones.
My heart raced. Painfully I couldn't breathe.
"Twinkle," malambing kong tawag at dumukwang, "sleepy, darling?"
"Yeah..." she yawned, "Twinkle sleep...okay lang ikaw pow, Ate? Hawak ikaw sa head po...ouch-ouch?"
"N-no," I shook my head, "ang kulit kasi ng Kuya Pangit mo, sumasakit ulo ni Ate."
Bumungisngis siya.
Ngumiti ako at binuhat ang maliit niyang katawan bago lumapit sa kama, "do you wanna sleep with Ate and Kuya?"
Her eyes brightened, she nodded repeatedly.
"Opo! Opo! P'wede, Ate? Sleep?"
"Why not?" I kissed her forehead, removing the strands of her hair away from her cheek. "You can sleep with Ate and Kuya."
Just as I was about to tuck her to bed, Zy went out of the closet and jumped on the bed. Muntik na kaming tumilapon ng kapatid niya. Hinampas ko ng unan.
"The fuck, Zy?!"
"Pillow fight!" He exclaimed happily.
"Yay! Pillow fwight!" And now, the little kid jumped, took a pillow and slammed my face with it. Natumba ako sa kama.
"W-what..." hinablot ko ang unan at ginantihan si Twinkle at sa gulat ko'y gumulong siya nang mahulog sa kama sa lakas ng nagawa ko.
"Shit! Sorry!" I screamed in horror, she giggled instead and screamed.
"Yahhh! Pillow fwight!" They both threw the pillows on my face.
Oh, God, save me.
When the two got tired, I was spent too. Lumabas si Zy kasama ang pusa para pakainin kaya naiwan kaming dalawa ni Twinkle na nakahiga sa kama,ang ulo niya'y nasa braso ko habang pinapanuod niya 'ko.
"Bakit ka nagising, sweety?" I asked her. "Did you have a dream?"
She shook her head.
"A nightmare?" When she nodded, I was alarmed.
"What? What nightmare? Ate will shoo it away!"
"Hmm...nanaginip ako po na nikuha ni pangit ang three ko pong lumpia," she pouted. My shoulders slacked. "Twinkle angwry..."
"Paanong angry?"
"Like this angwry!" She made an angry adorable face with her lips protruding.
Natawa ako at hinalikan ang noo niya, "don't worry, Ate will help you protecting your lumpia. 'Di natin hahayaan si Pangit na makuha ang three."
"Rweally?"
I nodded.
While I was locking gazes with her, her tiny palm found its way to may reddening cheek. Hinaplos niya iyon.
"Ouch?"
"No, baby, makati lang," I smiled. "Ate will be fine,"
She looked so concerned it broke my heart.
"I promise, it's fine," I assured but she was moving her body up and kissing my cheek. I stiffened.
"Mwuah!" She made a kissing sound as she kissed it again, "mawala ang ouch ni Ate ko! Magic-magic!"
My eyes stung as I touch my cheek, "wow...nawala na 'yong kati! Ang galing naman ng prinsesa na 'yan!" I blurted and her eyes twinkled more in happiness.
"Yehey! Twinkle is fairy! Magic!" She giggled.
"W-wow, what do you call that magic, baby?" I asked.
She grinned proudly, her toothless smile lighting the whole room, "kishpirin!"
I laughed loudly, hugging the bundle of joy and sunshine in my arms, promising I would do anything—risk everything just to protect her and Zion.
My family.
I planned everything. I became a whistleblower too, in advantage of Wyatt, unfortunately, to mess with DEA and the Reaper's mission. A lot of men died. My husband was so stressed while I pretended to not know anything when I orchestrated it the whole time.
I'm such a fucking demon. I know.
But morals are out. I don't care if I sacrifice people's lives—just not my family. Not them.
During DEA's surprise buy bust and seizing operation in one of the warehouse where firearms and drug trade is happening, they were ambushed. Why? Because I told Wyatt their plans.
Why again? To remove Wyatt's suspicions of me, so he won't mess with Twinkle.
My ways are fucked but I'd do it again in exchange of their safety.
I don't care. I'll rot in hell, anyway.
Ang kapal ng mukha kong magtanong pa sa asawa kung anong nangyari at kung may maitutulong ba ako kung sa una'y ako naman ang may gawa at dahilan. I was guilty. My heart breaks over and over again—as if it wasn't shattered before—seeing the pain on his eyes.
He was blaming himself for losing his best men in the field. He was saying he didn't do enough to save them. To help.
That he should've expected the possibility of ambush but in reality, he just trusted me. The last few missions ever since I came to help were a success because of me.
He knows they won't get ambushed because it was me who told them about the trade, the warehouse. He didn't even blame me for it.
I was there. I saw it all happen. I let it happen.
I apologized, saying I didn't know it would happen. He assured it wasn't my fault, that it was his.
I'm a conniving liar.
But at least I hoped to protect Twinkle but I still...failed.
I was suspicious of everyone around Twinkle and Zion. Sa DEA, sa personal guards, mismong kahit sa mga maid at guards sa bahay ay wala na akong tiwala nang paulit-ulit na sinabi ng lalaking nahuli namin na galing sa loob ang amo niya.
He didn't know a name and we had no other clues of his or her identity that I was paranoid everytime. I became extra protective of Twinkle.
It was that one time when we're going out of DEA. Tita and Tito Zeijan just took Twinkle for us to take care, hinahanap daw kasi kami ng bulilit at nami-miss na raw si Meow-meow kaya umiiyak.
I happily took her after missing her for two days and when she threw a fit and asked to see the cat, hindi na ako nakahindi.
Zion was still on his meeting na napapadalas dahil sa sunod-sunod na fail sa mga misyon. We have guards around, Jackie and Will even joined me to be heavily guarded but I'm not feeling secure with Twinkle around.
I can feel it in my gut. Something is about to happen. I don't know what.
"Darling," I whispered to Twinkle on my arms, wearing a big hat and colorful shades to hide her face, she's even wearing tights and tutu skirt. Sumali raw sa practice ng ballet kanina ng Ate Sibyl niya at ni Fritzy.
"Po?"
"Can we go after Kuya's meeting instead?" I asked.
She made a face, "ayaw..."
"Come on, darling," I pleaded. "What do you want, hmm? What toy? Ate saw a new gun, you know a shotgun? May nakita si Ate na color violet, I can buy it—"
"No!" That's when she decided to be a brat. "Ayaw!"
"Twila Klein..." I warned, "behave. Ayaw kong tinataasan mo ng boses ang mas nakakatanda sa 'yo—"
"I said ayaw!" She whined and crossed her arms, "gusto ko Meow-meow!"
"Twinkle..."
But she began screaming and kicking.
Jackie shot her brow up at me.
"Give her to me," aniya. "If you can't take care of the kid, h'wag kang magmagaling,"
"I didn't ask for you opinion," I spat back and protectively wrapped my arm more around Twinkle, not letting anyone take her out of my grip.
Dadaan muna sila sa 'kin bago sa kanya.
Twinkle remained squealing and kicking. Pinagtitinginan na kami ng dumadaan and fuck, I don't want more attention! I sighed and nodded.
"O-okay, okay," I breathed. "Shh, quiet na. Uuwi na tayo kay Meow-meow,"
Thankfully, she calmed down but my gut wasn't done yet.
Something's gonna happen. I knew it.
I called my friends and asked for help and that's when I found out Wyatt was making a move. To take Twila Klein.
Lumayo ako ng bahagya sa kanila habang kausap sina Jayden. I was still carrying Twinkle who's been watching me curiously.
"I think it will be an ambush," ani Jayden.
I pressed my comms, "are you sure?"
Umawang ang labi ni Twinkle at tinanggal ang shades niya, she grinned and pressed her ear, too, mimicking me.
"Bang-bang?" She mouthed.
I smiled and kissed her cheek, "secret only, baby." I whispered back.
"Shh..." she placed her finger on her lips, "agent Twinkle Star quiet! Secret mission..."
"Yeah," aniya sa comms. "I'm sure it is, they've been preparing back ups. May umalis na kaninang naunang sasakyan. Wait, where are you?"
"In the office, still inside. Waiting for the car."
"What?" He asked, "mamaya pa dapat ang uwi mo, hindi ba?"
"Yes but I'm with Twinkle, she wanted to go home," tumango-tango si Twinkle, proud na proud na pinag-uusapan pa siya. Walang alam na nasa panganib ang buhay niya ngayong nagpupumilit siyang umuwi.
"In that case then why did they left this early?" aniya, "is there anyone there who knew you'll be leaving this soon? It's only one in the afternoon."
"Yes, mga kasama ni Zy sa opisina. Even the guards knew but this is not the time I usually leave so..."
"Inside job," we both said and sighed.
"Bullet, listen," aniya. "Clau is currently hacking the CCTVs to know the exact location of those vans but unfortunately, hindi na namin makita kung nasaan ang nauna. We're only sure of one thing, they are routing towards DEA's location. If they knew you're leaving this early with the kid then...ambush."
Ipinikit ko ang mata ko. May tumusok sa pisngi ko at nang magmulat ay nasalubong ang tingin ni Twinkle.
"Meow-meow?" She mouthed.
I sighed and nodded. She kissed my cheek and hugged my nape.
"Thank you, Ate! Love love!" She mumbled on my shoulder.
"Why don't you stay there first? Wait for Zion?"
"I...can't," I touched the princess' back. "She's crying, she wanted to see the cat."
"Then, try again," he insisted. "Hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko tungkol dito."
I tried again but she cried again and made a commotion. Even attempting to runaway even if I stopped her. Humiga pa siya sa sahig at umikot habang sumisigaw at sinisipa ang paa niya. In the end, to soothe her and to not gather more attention, I agreed.
"Negative," iritang sinabi ko kay Jayden habang nasa loob ng banyo at pinupunasan si Twinkle na nakaupo sa sink, nakangiti sa akin. Madungis at puro alikabok.
Ang sarap kurutin. I gave her a knowing look. She grinned more and showed me a peace sign. Pinitik ko nga ng mahina ang noo.
She pouted and swayed her legs back and forth while I'm removing the black dirt from her face and arms from rolling on the dirty floor.
"Are you sure 'bout this?" He asked.
"Are you around the area?" I asked.
"Yeah, we can back you up if needed. Kami nga lang, will that be enough?"
"Yes, thank you," I breathed. "I'm in the bathroom with her right now and I can jump from the window here, are there eyes outside?"
Natahimik siya saglit at may sinabi kay Clau, "none, it's safe. Your bike's a distance away from your location. You can take her away back to the house where it's safer. Just make sure na walang makaalam ng plano mo."
I looked around, kami lang ni Twinkle ang nasa banyong dalawa.
"All clear,"
"Great," he sighed. "Are you sure 'bout this Bullet? You can ask Zion for help."
"If I did, then his men will also know, what if they found out I knew? Boss will be informed."
Napaisip pa siya. I bit my lower lip and glanced at Twinkle humming a song while swaying her feet. She was playing with the tips of my hair.
"Alright," he answered. "We're ready. No visuals of boss' men around. You're all clear. Leave now, Bullet. Keep the kid safe."
I nodded, biting my lip, I cupped Twinkle's chubby cheek.
"Hey, darling?"
"Po?" She popped her lips.
"Do you wanna go on a secret spy mission?" I asked. Her eyes brightened, I'd never seen her this alive before.
"Yehey!"
I sugarcoated our plan and said we'll be trying to escape bad men—which was actually true—and said we're only playing.
I strapped a folding camping knife on her leg, telling her that would keep her safe. I made her promise not to use it unless needed or she might hurt herself and bleed.
To make this more promising and light for her, I made her hold her pink gun with fake plastic pellets inside, saying to use it only against enemies.
Binaklas ko ang bintana sa banyo at kinalkula ang distansya sa pagtalon ko kasama siya. I took her with me and looked around until I heard the knocking on the door.
"Bullet?" I heard Will's voice. "Are you two done? Let's go, the car's here."
"Fuck," I whispered and screamed, "we'll be out in five!"
I jumped out with her on my arms, landing on my feet. She squealed happily.
"Shh..." I hushed her, "don't make a noise."
"Opps!" She covered her mouth, "sowry!"
I ran towards my bike in Claudine's direction. I took the small pink helmet I bought for Twinkle and replaced her large hat with it. Sumakto ang kulay ng helmet sa pink niyang sunglasses at damit.
I chuckled and kissed her nose.
"Ang ganda mo," bulong ko sa kanya at sinuot na rin ang akin at sampa sa sa motor.
"Clau?"
"All clear," she gave me a go sign and I drove towards the other entrance and fled with her.
I was fast but careful enough. I drove with their direction and didn't bother checking my vibrating phone.
"Wow! Amazing!" Twinkle giggled. I chuckled.
"Kapit kay Ate nang maigi, ganda," I reminded her.
"Fuck, Bullet!" We were in the road and driving for ten minutes when I heard Clau's panicking voice.
"What?" My voice hardened.
"There are bikes following you!" She gasped loudly, "I didn't see! They just appeared!"
"Shit!"
"Bullet, Bullet, you hear me?" Jayden asked.
"Yes, what is it?" Inikot ko ang tingin para mag-iba ng direksyon at iligaw sila.
"To the left," aniya, naririnig ko ang marahas na tipa sa laptop. "Mukhang may nakatunog sa pagkawala mo, your husband's men probably reported you're gone with the kid."
My jaw clenched and maneuvered the bike to the left.
"Twila, kumapit ka," she did and stayed quiet and focused.
I changed direction from time to time, nervous not for myself but for the little kid who's been serious all the time. I'm not sure if she was scared or that she was so into our so called play that she's taking her agent job description seriously.
"On your six!" With one hand on the bike, I took a knife out of my boot and threw it in the bike's direction. Tumama iyon sa gulong at tumilapon sa kalsada ang motor kasama ang nakasakay.
"Wow!" Twinkle gasped, "galing! Wow!"
I drove and drove until I lost them all. I managed to parked in a nearby old mall's parking area, planning to change vehicles by stealing one. I can't go out in a bike again, if I wasn't noticeable. I'm sure Twila's all pink outfit was.
Ibinaba ko siya habang hawak ko ang kamay niya. I raised the gun in the other hand, she mimicked me and raised her toy gun, too.
"Agent Bullet, may bad guys?"
"Yes, agent Twinkle," sakay ko sa kanya. "Be careful, okay? We'll have to steal another vehicle to escape."
She gasped loudly, "wow...I want, too! Steal car! Steal!"
Namilog ang mata ko.
Damn it, Bullet!
I shook my head, "you'll know when you grow up," I assured. "Stay focused, agent. We can't afford any distraction."
"Yes, Ma'am!" Her tiny voice answered and looked around with her gun in the ear while we're back-to-back.
Oh, I love this kid.
I stiffened with my confession but softened after.
I love her...I love Zion...
Damn it, I can still love...
My eyes stung but I brushed the tears away and tightened my grip at Twinkle's hand.
In Jayden's warning, we encountered a few assholes on the way and I managed to kill them while still protecting her.
Of course, my little agent helped me on the way. She had such a ballerina reflex and kicked an enemy in between his legs.
"Ballerina kick! Yah!" She giggled happily. I just blinked in amazement.
Oh. Wow. Thank you, Sibyl?
I lost reception to my friends due to the location of this old mall and now I'm on my own. I only have me to protect her.
Just as I was thought we were cleared, kakapagana ko pa lang din ng sasakyan para makaalis nang 'di ko inaasahan ang sumunod na nangyari.
Someone sneaked in behind us while Twinkle was blurting her excitement to our first agent mission together when we were ambushed.
I felt something hard struck my head from behind before I even heard her calling.
I lost balance. I'm bleeding. I tried crawling but she was already crying for me.
"A-Ate Bullet!" She cried, "s-scared...Ate! H-help!"
Another struck and I still tried to fight but they outnumbered me. I was dizzy and confuse when they struck me again. Tears only fell on my cheek the moment I lost consciousness. And, I lost her, too.
I woke up in a hospital. Jumping out of the bed, I looked around, wishing it was all just a dream but it wasn't.
Sa pag-upo ko ay nasalubong ko kaagad ang tingin ni Zion.
"Zy—" he strode closer and gripped my shoulder and his eyes, I've never seen it that way. Sharp, cold and seething.
But I was just panicking.
I have to go! I have to go get her!
"T-Twinkle, si Twinkle—"
"What have you done?! Saan mo dinala ang kapatid ko?!" He exclaimed and squeezed my shoulder, trembling in anger.
"Z-Zy," I trembled, "p-please, mamaya na! We have to rescue her—"
"It was your fault!" He exclaimed, "you took her away! It was your fucking fault!"
"W-what...why..." umiling ako, "no, I was just trying to protect her. There are men! Sina Wyatt! Gusto nilang—"
"Really?" He spat, a cold laugh leaving his mouth. "Then what's this?"
He moved away and threw the tablet on my lap. Kaagad ko iyong kinuha at namilog ang mata ko nang makita ang footage ng CCTV.
It was me during DEA's operation, watching while the enemies ambushed them. I was there while Zy's team are getting killed and did nothing.
"Z-Zy," my voice trembled, "I can explain! It's not what you think—"
"Watch the next," malamig niyang turan at nang 'di ako gumalaw ay muli siyang sumigaw. "I said watch the damn footage!"
I flinched. With my shaking hand, I pressed next and saw the video of me jumping out of the bathroom's window with Twinkle on my arms. I was looking around, looking so suspicious in someone else's point of view.
And then it was me in the bike with Twinkle, entering the old mall's parking lot and a few minutes later, a black van went inside and got out after. Then I saw a blonde woman, her face not visible in the camera but she had the same body and fit as mine. Black leather pants and jacket. Lumabas siya para panoorin ang van na umaalis bago parang wala lang na bumalik sa loob sa parking at 'di na muling lumabas.
My mouth parted.
"Surprised, Scythe?" Mapait niyang tanong. "You are a damn good actress."
It looked like me. But I'm sure I wasn't when I was knocked out on the fucking floor!
"This wasn't me!" I blurted and stared at my husband's bloodshot eyes.
His gaze was cold, angry and pissed. His jaw clenched.
"You are so good of lying," mapait niyang sinabi at natawa. "To think that I fucking trusted you..."
"Z-Zy," I stood but my knees only wobbled. Napahawak ako sa gilid ng kama pero pinilit ko pa ring makalapit. He took a step back, my heart shattered.
"I-I swear..." I begged, "please, I swear it wasn't me! I wouldn't! You know I wouldn't! Please..."
He shook his head and brushed his hair frustratedly, tears are beginning to form on his eyes, too.
"I thought you won't..." halos bulong na 'yon. "But then you betrayed me, you still think I'd believe you after you got my team killed?"
"Z-Zy," my eyes are painful after waking up but it only intensified when I felt a tear falling from it now.
Oh...I'm crying.
"You think those tears would faze me, huh?" Umiling siya. "You think I could still trust you after you fucking betrayed me! After you got my men killed! After my sister get taken away! Because I trusted you! Because I loved you!"
When a tear rolled down on his cheek, my knees gave up that I was kneeling in front of him, crying.
"P-please," I whispered. "I-I admit it was me! Y-yes, I got your men killed! Wyatt...he was suspicious of me and I had to...I had to steer him away. He was targeting Twinkle! He would take her if I f-fucked up! I know the reasons are bullshit but I have to protect her! You know I won't let her get hurt! I l-love her!"
"Love?" He asked with disgust, "you think you are capable of feeling that?"
Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig.
He knelt and faced me. He gripped my chin, his icy blue eyes sending shivers down my spine...in fear. In pain. In agony.
"You aren't, Bullet," he said coldly. "You are not capable of loving. You are an empty shell. You're a selfish liar."
Bullet, he called me Bullet...
Tears won't stop falling, nanlalabo na ang tingin ko habang pinapanuod ang galit at sakit sa mata niya.
He was crying, too.
"K-kaya kong tanggapin na niloko mo ako kasi mahal kita," mariing sinabi niya. "I can keep a blind eye if it was only me you fucked but...that's m-my sister,"
"S-sorry..." I cried loudly, "s-sorry...sorry..."
"I don't care what they're saying because I trusted you! I'm in love with you b-but..." he shook his head, "a-ayos lang kung ako, Bullet. K-kahit patayin mo 'ko m-mamahalin pa rin kita pero 'yong kapatid ko..." his voice broke and his grip on my chin vanished.
Napaupo siya sa lapag at patuloy na nahulog ang lupa. Napahagulgol ako at mas lumuhod sa harapan niya.
"It was my sister...k-kapag may nangyari sa kanya 'di ko kakayanin..." he breathed, his voice breaking. "K-kapag 'di ko na naman ulit naprotektahan ang kapatid ko anong g-gagawin ko? Ano nang gagawin ko..."
I ran after my breath to try and stop from crying, but I couldn't. I have never cried that it all bottled up and exploded.
His miseries were mine, his pain, I could feel it, too. His pain of failing to protect his sisters before, for Zirena's, for Sibyl's trauma. He blamed it all to himself and now, Twinkle...
It was because of me.
"I-I'm sorry...it was my f-fault, Zy, not yours..."
"S-she was innocent," he whispered, "we p-protected her with our lives and y-you...damn it, she was just a kid! Ano bang ginawa niya sa 'yo?!" he shook his head in disappointment and watched me with disdain.
I trembled and shook my head, "I-I don't, I promise. I-it wasn't me, I-I swear...I..."
"I trusted you. She trusted you."
I nodded and clutched my chest, "I-I know...sorry..."
Umiling siya at tumayo.
"Z-Zy, please," I cried and crawled closer to grip his shirt, crying on my knees. "T-tell me, I'll do anything you want! I-I'll save her! I promise, t-tell me...just tell me how t-to help—"
"Leave," he said coldly. I froze.
"W-what do you mean?"
"Get the fuck out of here, I don't want to see you again," malamig niyang sabi. "Umalis ka na habang may natitira pa 'kong pagmamahal sa 'yo."
"N-no," I shook my head. "Zy, please...please...I-I love you!"
Pain flashed his bloodshot blue eyes. Betrayal.
I betrayed him. Oh, God, what have I done?
"If you told me that days ago, maybe, hours earlier? I could've believed it. I could've fallen on my knees and be a fool to you but now?" His jaw clenched. "Fuck your love, Bullet. You're not capable of it."
It felt like I knocked out of breath. I shook my head in desperation.
"D-don't do this to me, please! G-gagawin ko lahat..."
He took a step closer. Hope filled my heart.
"Everything?" Malamig niyang tanong.
"Y-yes," I whispered, "yes, I'll do everything...please, I'll save her! B-believe me, please. H-hindi ako 'yon! Hindi ko kayang gawin 'y-yon. Gagawin ko l-lahat, parang-awa mo na..."
"Then leave," he repeated. "Get the fuck away from my family. Don't show yourself to me again,"
No...I can't...
"Zy..." I cried, "h-hun, please..."
"If there's anything...anything bad happens to my sister," his jaw clenched. "I will never forgive you. I will haunt you. I don't care if it would kill me. I will kill you myself."
I shook my head, fisting his shirt more, begging for him to listen. To let me help finding Twinkle but he pushed my hand away and stared at me with the promise of danger, of death.
"Hide well, Scythe. Hide until I couldn't see you," he warned but he stopped midway to speak with his back on me.
"And stop speaking of love like you're capable of feeling that. It would be worthless coming from you," he said as he walked away, taking the remaining shattered pieces of me, leaving me hollow, and empty inside.
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