chap 12 - Virgin 150
Taehyung watched Jimin exiting the hostel room to go outside, presumably to go to the other room. The boy might have been planning on running to the store but he doubted it, for he knew his friend wouldn't do anything without some kind of permission from their older friends. Especially since the Jungkook incident it seemed that no one wanted to sneak out for a little fun anymore, and it made all of his attempts at leaving even harder. There was always someone there to ask questions, usually Hoseok who would give him a look as if he were his father as he raised his eyebrows. He didn't know whether he loved that look or hated it, for he noted that Hoseok reserved that expression solely for him and that was probably a bad thing. He hadn't even given the youngest boy the look after the brawling in the streets the other night, but Taehyung had managed to amass it several times already, usually whilst in the act of messing around with Jimin for some reason.
He couldn't believe that his friends had seen his actions yesterday as a form of bullying. Did they really think that he would be stupid enough to actually throw Jimin over the side of the bridge as a joke? Not that he could have anyway, for the boy kicked and wriggled quite a considerable amount and nearly freed himself even with Jungkook to help him. That wasn't the point of course, for if he said that it would most certainly not end in laughter, but it was the truth. He had just been playing around, nothing serious. But Hoseok had called it bullying and then Yoongi had jumped in and made it suddenly seem like a bad thing. Taehyung probably should have expected it, for the young man had an annoying habit of jumping in whenever Jimin was involved. He likely thought that he was helping but he just made it look like the boy needed a guardian, when he most certainly didn't; Jimin could fight back quite well on his own, he was scrappy and quick.
Taehyung turned his head to look across the room and he heard the sound of the door clicking shut, making Jungkook stir in his sleep as he did. It was probably a good idea to wake the other two up but he had to get cleaned up so he supposed he could do it after. But first he wanted to check something, something very important. He climbed out of the bed and hunkered down at the bottom of the other one. He picked up the younger boy's boots and stuck his hand inside to pull out the cash he had shoved in it. It didn't include coins, which were in his jeans pockets, but he didn't need an exact amount, an estimate would do. He flicked through them quickly and then put them back before reaching over to snag hold of Hoseok's jeans, which were on the floor in a crumpled heap. Another quick check of the pockets, adding the amount up with the other boy's. Then he checked his own boot and let out a heavy sigh.
67,000₩.
That was all they had left right now, not including their friends' cash. Taehyung thumbed the notes and then shoved them back into his boot out of sight. He knew that he should have protested against Seokjin buying all of that food the other day, against the recently lavish spending on hot food over instant shit that he could steal for free. Combined with hostel costs and the gas that Namjoon had bought for the broken car, they had blown through their cash and were starting to get dangerously low. With all of the cash added together they could afford another night or two in a hostel but he didn't want them to waste another won if possible. Sure, it might not have been that hard to get the cash in the first place but Taehyung had thought them very lucky to have gotten that amount. It had required luck and hard work and he didn't think that his friends had that in them now. They were tired of everything: the roads, the empty stomachs, the adventure, and if he told them that they needed to spend another day washing dishes and scrubbing park benches then they would probably beat the shit out of him. That meant that he was going to have to make some cash on his own without them knowing, whether it be from lifting and selling or something else entirely.
"Hmmm, what time is it?" Jungkook asked, eyes just visible over the tops of the covers as he squinted at him, dark hair fanned out messily on the pillow.
"7am," Taehyung explained. "Go back to sleep for a few minutes, I'm gonna shower now."
"Mkay," the boy replied and he got to his feet to cross the room and enter the bathroom.
Taehyung hastily brushed his teeth and used the toilet before stepping into the shower, having to fiddle with it several times because the fixture was broken. Yesterday he had been too happy to wash away all of the river water to even care that it was faulty but now it rather annoyed him. Folded up neatly and placed across the bathroom were their clothes: tees and underwear and socks and even jeans - except for Hoseok who had been smart enough to roll his up and save them getting soaked- and as a result they had ran out of detergent, something they would desperately need again. In the future they would have to refrain from diving into rivers like children, for it caused too much trouble it would seem. After showering and getting dressed he went into the other section of the room and woke his friends up before sitting down on the edge of the bed by the window. No sight of Jimin, he must really be irritating the young men right now with his incessant chatter even at this ridiculous hour. How the boy could be so goddamn chipper was both intriguing and slightly terrifying. Perhaps Yoongi would regret saving his ass yesterday now that he was bouncing around like a puppy and getting on his nerves? Fifteen minutes later the two boys were finishing up with their packing and so he got up to leave the room and walk along the path to get to the other one. He didn't bother knocking and instead went right in, swinging the door inwards and stepping inside.
"The kids ready?" Namjoon asked as he leaned against the door and studied the interior.
"Give 'em a minute or two and they will be. Jimin in here?"
"Was, he just ran to the store with Jin about a minute ago." Taehyung eyed the deep blue carpet, which greatly clashed with the brown in their room, and then glanced up to look at him. He asked him why they had went there and his friend shrugged. "Probably to get food or something? Didn't say." He thought this over for a moment before realising that that meant even more cash being wasted and he managed to not wince outwardly. "Kookie and Hoseok OK?"
"Yeah, why'd you ask?"
"Just wanted to check," Namjoon said as he leaned back on his wrists, "'cos they don't really talk, you know? I didn't even know that Kookie had went out that night he got into that fight until you two dragged his ass into the room. They don't seem to talk that much with me, probably 'cos they think I'll say something philosophical and annoy them, so I thought I'd ask."
"You OK?"
"Yeah, just tired as hell is all." At this reply Taehyung smiled in agreement, it was certainly something they could all agree on. "Another day on the road ahead of us, Seoul nowhere in sight. I miss that stupid Chevy..."
"Join the club, we all fucking do," Yoongi declared as he stepped inside the room, hair slightly damp from the shower. Taehyung studied him for a moment and when the man reached down to grab his jacket from the floor by the bed he saw something on his arm, something very strange. It was a red mark that looked to be a welt of some kind, angry and sore-looking: a burn. Where had that come from? Had he dropped a cigarette on his arm? But it was such a weird location that he couldn't see how it could have fallen there. No, it looked like it might just have not been an accident...
"You think I'll win another one?" Namjoon asked he the other man slipped the jacket on, strategically hiding it from sight. No one else would know it was there if he kept it under wraps of course, but Taehyung had seen it perfectly clear.
"I hope so."
"Maybe I'll win us coach tickets instead?" Taehyung slid his eyes over to look at his friend. Coach tickets? Was he possibly thinking of buying some? Did he know how much that would cost? A lot more than they had now for sure. He was imagining that they wouldn't be able to afford much more than a day or two of basic living if they carried on spending and yet his friends were thinking of coach tickets.
"Coach tickets?" Taehyung asked. "C'mon, at least try for plane tickets instead."
"OK," Namjoon laughed, "I'll win us our own private jet. We can get back to Seoul in style, right?"
"Right," he agreed with a grin, "and land it on Jimin's house." Yoongi looked at him disapprovingly so he held up his hands to show that it was just a joke, palms outwards. The young man dropped his gaze to study this and then quietly told him that they needed to ensure that his father was in the house at least, the jibe making both him and Namjoon burst out in surprised laughter.
"Don't tell him I said that, OK." Yoongi muttered under his breath. "It was stupid and I shouldn't have said it."
"Stupid but true," Taehyung said with a soft shrug. "We're all thinking it but none of us wanna say it...'cept me 'cos I called his dad a piece a shit."
"You did what?" Namjoon asked in comic disbelief and he saw a similar expression mirrored on the other man's face.
"It was a couple of days ago, we were talking at the gas station and he mentioned his dad hitting him so I called him a piece of shit. Was I wrong for doing so? Nah, I don't think I was. I don't think I'd ever be wrong in that situation. I might push him around a lot, y'know, but I wouldn't ever do something like that. He's a piece of shit, just my dad, just like most dads I know." He paused before adding. "He wasn't mad at me, he didn't seem to care really."
"Just 'cos we think it don't mean we should 'say' it," Yoongi said after a few seconds of silence. "But...I agree, you weren't wrong for saying it." He turned back to his holdall to start shoving things inside it and so Taehyung decided it was time he left their room and went back to the other one. He was just closing the door shut behind him when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and he turned his head to see his two friends crossing the lot. He raised a hand to wave at them, nothing more than a slight wiggle of his fingers.
"Oh you're awake?" Seokjin called with a grin. "Good, I was worried that we might need to drag you out of bed kicking and screaming..."
"Not me," he retorted. "Not the others either, they're awake and packing up."
"Good good," their eldest friend said as he got to the door and pulled on the handle. Taehyung reached out to grab Jimin's elbow to stop him from going inside and the other boy looked at him blankly. His arms were bare of course, for the other man now had a reason to wear his jacket, but the weather looked like it would stay warm enough for him to not need it. As soon as the door closed shut he asked him if he was okay.
"Yeah," Jimin said with a vigorous nod. "I'm good, why does everyone keep asking me that?"
"Probably 'cos of what happened yesterday," Taehyung explained as he let go of his arm. "You didn't mind it did you? The joke?"
"The joke? Oh no," the boy let out a laugh that sounded sweet but a little forced, "I didn't mind I knew that you weren't gonna do it. It was just a joke, right?"
"Right," he agreed quietly.
"I mean, you know how Yoongi is-"
"Grumpy? Lazy? Prone to bursts of temper?" Taehyung suggested with an eyebrow raise.
"Overprotective," the other boy corrected with a soft smile. "He can be a little overprotective sometimes."
"Only towards you." Jimin furrowed his brow slightly at this remark, as if it confused him, but he didn't ask him to clarify so he didn't. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Yoongi."
"...OK."
"You were in their room before, right?" His friend confirmed that he had been in there with a curt nod of the head. "You spoke to him, to Yoongi?" Another nod, this one a little slower than the first as he shifted from one foot to the other. "Did you notice anything...unusual?"
"Like what?"
"Like on his arm, a mark on his arm, the inner elbow?" And Taehyung actually lifted his own arm to circle the area he was talking about with his forefinger, tracing a lazy circle around his inner elbow. The other boy's eyes dropped to study this and then went back up to his face. "'Cos I could've sworn that I saw something there before he put his jacket on." Jimin asked him what he thought it was, the thing that he had seen, and he shrugged lightly. "A burn."
"I dunno, I didn't really look at his arms so I didn't notice anything," Jimin said, and he held his gaze rather steady save for a second or two when his eyes moved ever so slightly to the left as if looking over his shoulder.
"You notice anything like it a few days ago? Like when you were sharing beds with him?"
"No, definitely not then."
Taehyung decided that he wasn't lying regarding that particular thing but he wasn't so certain about his first denial about to seeing the mark on his arm. How could he have not seen it? It was as obvious as the split in Jungkook's lip and he would have had to have been blind to miss it, but at the same time he didn't want to assume. It was Jimin, and the boy would likely miss the end of the world because he would be daydreaming. Had he maybe caught sight of it and he didn't want to admit in for fear that he might try and get him to ask him about it? That seemed to make more sense than him missing it. Maybe he was lying on both accounts but the adamant tone in his voice seemed to reveal that the mark on the man's arm was very recent, perhaps just a mere few hours old. Should he be blunt about it and tell him that he had a feeling that Yoongi had burnt himself, or was it wrong to do so? It would be like loudly yelling about Hoseok's medication, and though Yoongi hadn't told him and asked him to keep it a secret he felt that maybe he shouldn't, that he should let someone who was a lot better with words talk to him instead. Someone like Seokjin or Namjoon...maybe Jimin if the boy had the courage. It wasn't like Yoongi would get pissed off at him, if anything Jimin was in the most safest position of them all.
"You sure?" he asked and his friend nodded once more.
"Uh-huh, hundred percent sure."
"...OK, if you notice it, or anything else like it, you'll let me know, right?" The boy said that he would and so Taehyung reached over to ruffle his hair and then went back along the path to get to their room.
Every one of his friends seemed to be distracted by someone else's problems right now; from getting into fistfights, to possible self-harm and maybe other things too. That meant that at least none of them would have reason to suspect him of doing anything bad, or at least more worse than usual...
It was exactly 10pm when Jungkook finally succumbed to sleep and he had been waiting impatiently for the last thirty minutes, trying to not fall asleep himself from a mixture of boredom and tiredness from walking all day long. Why did the boy have to stay awake just to vex him, just to make everything even harder? Taehyung had spent the entire day worrying himself stupid over the fucking won notes he had counted that morning. He hadn't been able to stop himself, and though he knew that the others would probably be pissed with him he had lifted a few items from a gas station. Not a great amount, nothing that would count as more than a mouthful of food. It might save a couple of thousand of won in the future, and if he kept doing it then it would add up...supposing that he managed to do so without the others nagging him to death. He was doing it to help them and yet they acted like it was a bad thing.
If only they knew how much more worse his actions could get.
Taehyung didn't rush out the second that Jungkook fell asleep of course, for that would have been pretty stupid. Instead he waited for several minutes to make sure that the boy sank deep into his slumber and was therefore harder to wake up. He didn't think he would have a problem with Hoseok, for his friend had downed his Xanax in the bathroom like always where the other two couldn't see him and then he had drifted off to sleep without a single problem. Jimin was hard to gauge, for he could either sleep like a baby or jerk awake from any sudden movement; likely because he was so used to him kicking him out of the bed that he had somehow trained himself to wake up just in case. So he slowly slipped out from under the covers and got out of the bed, trying his hardest to not make the bed springs creak as he did. Luckily for him they didn't and he got to his feet and quickly got dressed, slipping his cash out of his boot to shove it into his jeans pocket. He didn't sit on the bed to lace up his boots but rather on the floor, which was hardwood for once instead of carpet. It was cheap and chipped and scratched all over, but it was still better than filthy carpet for sure.
Knotting his laces proved a trifle difficult because his fingers seemed to be trembling badly and he had to bite down on his lip and furrow his brow in concentration so that he could do it, chin balanced on his knee and the faded scent of detergent still clinging to the worn material. Satisfied that they would at least stay knotted up he got back to his feet and crossed the room to collect the room keys from a small glass bowl by the door. He wrapped his fingers around these and he slowly slid the chain lock free and unlocked the door. He stepped outside and locked it again before shoving the keys into his jeans, alongside his miserable amount of cash. The little metal and plastic object seemed to have a substantial weight in his pocket, as if he had shoved a large rock inside instead. Perhaps an anchor.
Taehyung took a deep breath of the warm evening air and glanced along the path to his left to see that it was empty, no one in sight. Then he crossed the lot at a fast pace and didn't slow down, didn't stop or look back because he would end talking himself out of it; telling himself that he should go to the market instead and steal a few things, try and sell them back for a profit even if that took time and effort. But the market was quite some distance from the hostel, he knew that from passing it by just this morning, and the bars and clubs were most certainly not. They were practically in the same neighbourhood and he could hear the throbbing bass line of music already in the air. He stared at his boots rather than study the streets in front of him because they all looked the same in the night; illuminated by dull orange streetlights with trash lined gutters. He barely passed a soul on his way across the block and he wasn't really surprised. Everyone was either in already and having a great time or standing in a line waiting for club doors to open. He wouldn't see people on these streets until about 3am in the morning and he wasn't planning on being out that long, he was hoping to be back at the hostel before midnight if possible. It took several minutes of solid walking to finally start to see the sights of neon signs, to taste the familiar scent of booze in the air like sour perfume, and that was when he lifted his gaze and started to study the signs, to find what he was looking for.
Taehyung knew that if the others found out that he was doing this then he was going to get into so much trouble. This wasn't lifting a few items here and there from a market stall or slipping some cash out of a charity pot when a cashier wasn't looking, this was a whole new level of illegal and bad ideas and he thought that if they knew about it then they might just drop his ass as fast as they could, refuse to take him along with them wherever they ended up next. But they needed cash desperately and he had been in that very same position countless times before. With desperate times came desperate measures and right now he was counting this as a desperation situation to be in. They didn't have time to wait around for Namjoon's bets, for the shit wage that Yoongi and Seokjin and Jimin could hustle together working at entire evening in front of a sink or handing out fliers on street corners. They needed a quick fix and he knew exactly how to get one of those.
Taehyung stopped outside of the bar and eyed it for a moment. He had never been in this city before but he knew a gay club when he saw one because he had learnt to read the signs, quite literally. It was all in the details and a quick look at the exterior showed him all that he needed. No one hanging around outside drunk like the other clubs and bars on the circuits because it wasn't smart to do that, just in case gang of drunken men walked past and decided to beat the shit out of whoever was taking a quick smoke on the curb outside. On the side of the door frame he could see a faded sticker stuck to the wood, a rainbow that stuck out more to his eye than the flashing neon tubes on the side of the building. His mouth felt dry and when he tried to wet his lips he found that his tongue really didn't help. Taehyung had had his hands shoved into his pockets whilst he had been walking and he forced them out to reach up and pull his hood down before going down into the alley to get in through the side door, which was wide open and blaring electronic music into the early morning air.
There was a bouncer on the door but he didn't ask for any I.D., rather just scanning his face quickly before deciding that he was old enough. He usually never got asked for it and a part of him almost wished that the man had to stop him from entering the club without it. But he didn't and so he stepped inside and went down the small set of stone steps to enter the interior of the club. Blaring strobe lights assaulted his eyes and he squinted with a moan of surprised pain. It was enough to make his head hurt and he knew that Hoseok would go running back out of the place after just a second. He probably should too, and yet he found himself sticking to the wall of the club as he walked his way over to the bar. He needed to buy a cheap drink just so he could sit there and so he ordered a glass of whiskey just because he could nurse it unlike a single shot. When the female bartender placed it down in front of him he had to take a quick sip just to wet his mouth, feeling the warm liquid burning down his throat as he swallowed.
Then he shifted on the stool and glanced over at the club interior. Surprisingly packed full of men and women, the dance area was a sea of bodies writhing to the electronic music. He saw hair fanning out, arms reaching up into the air, feet leaving the floor in jumps. Everyone seemed to be having a good time and yet he was clutching the square glass of alcohol and feeling nervous as hell. After a minute running his eyes over the mass of bodies and faces he turned slightly on the stool and eyed the rest of the people at the bar: three girls sitting huddled together talking over shots, a middle-aged man on the very end with a pint of beer, and a younger man just a few seats away from him. Taehyung shifted so that he was facing the bar again but he kept his eye on the young man beside him just to be sure that if he glanced over he could quickly turn his head and look at him.
After a few minutes of darting his eyes from the rows of bottles to the man he finally managed to maintain eye contact with him. Hair that was a little longer than the current style, falling down to his jawline loosely tousled rather than poker straight, he looked to be in college, perhaps Seokjin's age, or maybe a little younger and closer to Hoseok's. Round eyes and a button nose, but full lips that seemed quick to smile. The stranger offered him one and Taehyung returned it and hoped that he might just snag him nice and easy. Back to his whiskey, which he eyed for a minute; deep amber liquid on the rocks of two large ice cubes, square based glass that felt very familiar in his hand. He didn't have to wait long for he felt someone moving beside him to sit on the spare stool and when he glanced up there he was.
"Wooyoung," he said as he got onto the stool.
"It's nice to meet you Wooyoung," he replied, "Taehyung."
"Aren't you a little young to be in a club?" He asked him how old he thought that he was and he paused for a moment. "You're a high school kid, I can tell from one look."
"Oh really?" he teased with a mischievous smirk, all the while hoping that he wasn't going to sit beside him like some kind of bodyguard all night and that he was actually interested regardless of the fact he had admitted to knowing his age. "Am I in trouble?"
"No, I won't tell a soul," Wooyoung reached up to mine zipping his lips and Taehyung took a moment to study him. Had the man mentioned his age as a sign to show that he wasn't interested, instead playing the cool older brother role because he wanted to keep any creeps from approaching him, or had he done so in the hopes of possibly making himself seem cooler and thus more interesting? Was he put off by his age, did he not care because he wasn't interested, or did he move to sit beside him because he was very much interested? It was hard to tell and the next few interactions would be the revealing that he was waiting for.
"Still, it was pretty naughty of me to sneak in here, 'specially when I have class tomorrow."
"Oh, so you actually go to class and don't ditch?" the young man asked with a surprised expression and Taehyung laughed and reached down to put his hand on his knee as he did. He didn't move it away. "That's a surprise."
"Y'know what else is a surprise?" Wooyoung asked him what and he cocked his head before moving his hand up and onto his thigh. He was most definitely interested. Taehyung left it in place without finishing this question and he instead gently squeezed down with his hand. Wooyoung shifted on the stool and picked up his own glass to look cool and casual, so Taehyung leaned forward and whispered down his ear. "I am a high school kid and I'm a long way from home right now and I thought, wouldn't it be a good idea to busk for cash but no one gave me a single fucking coin."
"That's a shame," the man said as he ran his fingers along the inside of his thigh, fingers brushing against his jeans.
"I really need cash, y'know? But it's so hard to get even a couple of thousand won but then it hit me." Taehyung glanced down the bar and saw no one even looking their way. "I know exactly what to sell."
"Oh yeah? What?"
"My body." He eyed his face and saw that his interest hadn't faltered in the slightest. He could probably go for the lie now, in the hopes that it would be enough to really tempt him. "I mean, I'm really nervous right now. I haven't done this before, I'm a virgin, but you seem so nice and I thought-"
"How much?"
"How much are you thinking?" he asked quietly.
"100,000."
"Make it 150,000 with protection and I'm all yours." Wooyoung hesitated for a moment before giving him a soft nod and then getting to his feet, so Taehyung drained the whiskey and slapped the cash down before watching him go into the bathroom. After a few minutes he emerged and headed off to the exit so he got up and followed after him and when he got to the front of the building he felt a hand snag onto his wrist. The man pulled him down a few streets to an alley and then the both went inside.
"150," he said as he shoved a rolled up wad of bills into his hand, "and this." He waved the condom he had gotten from the bathroom to show him and Taehyung shoved the cash inside his jeans pocket with a nod. Wooyoung started to undo his belt and he studied this for a moment before unzipping his own jeans. His hands were shaking and it wasn't just pretend nerves now. He had only just gotten them down when the man turned him around roughly and he felt his cheek brushing against the brick wall as he wrenched down on his underwear. Taehyung closed his eyes and took deep breaths as he heard him tearing the condom packet open and he briefly wondered if 150,000 was really worth something like this.
"Will this hurt?" he asked, knowing the answer because he asked it every single time he found himself in this situation. Sometimes the guy he was with lied and said that it wouldn't, one or two had been truthful and said it would with perfect amounts of sympathy in their voices, but quite a few had said it with wide grins and he wondered which one Wooyoung would go with.
"Maybe." That was new. He felt his hands on him, one on his hip and the other slipping down the curve of his buttocks. Taehyung opened his legs wider and a moment later he slipped his fingers inside. No lube but he prayed that the condom was lubricated. He tried to not clench but it didn't matter because he didn't even try and open him up, slipping his hand free to thrust into him a few seconds later. He couldn't help a moan escaping his lips and he felt his hands going up to press against the wall, nails scratching at the cement trapped between them. "It depends."
"On...on what?" he asked as the man pulled out and rocked into him again. The condom was lubricated but it still burnt terribly from the friction.
"On how good you are." Taehyung opened his eyes to look down the alley and he mentally cursed himself. He hadn't found a guy that would be quick and easy, a few thrusts and grunts and all over in minutes. He hadn't found a guy that would be a little sweet to him despite everything and at least make the experience less awkward for them both. No, he just had to go and pick the guy that was going to make him roleplay.
"I can be good if you want?" he asked in a soft voice. "I can be a really good boy."
"But you told me you were naughty," Wooyoung said, rocking his hips into him a little slow until he could go deeper.
"Am I in trouble?" he asked again, shifting to give him a better angle. "Are you gonna punish me?" Taehyung had just closed his eyes again when he felt the man's fingers snagging in his hair tightly and he opened them again in pained shock, involuntarily clenching around his cock.
"Good boys don't ditch class," he said with a tug and he bit down on his lip hard, "or go to bars or run away from home, but they most certainly don't fuck strangers."
"I'm such a...naughty boy," Taehyung groaned. Wooyoung was thrusting into him more steadily now and he tried to imagine that it was someone else, someone he would actually want to fuck him. It hard to do so considering the fact he knew that his friend wouldn't treat him like this, but if it would him stop clenching and make the ordeal a little less fucked up then he would do it. He had just pictured the boy's face when the man spanked him hard and he jumped from the contact, slamming his cheek against the brick wall hard enough to hurt.
"Naughty boys must be punished." Taehyung was certain that he could taste blood inside his mouth. "Consider this punishment." Before he could even try and explore for a possible cut with his tongue Wooyoung thrust into him so hard that he did more than moan in pain, he actually let out a surprised shout. Head slamming against the wall again, but this time also his hips. The man was in deep and he was going so rough that Taehyung had to turn his face aside and press it against his upper arm to mute the noises coming out of his mouth. The burning sensation was just like whiskey at the bar and he couldn't block it out this time, couldn't picture his friend's face and play pretend. He could feel each thrust like a stab and he was aware of he fact he was bleeding but he just squeezed his eyes closed and waited for him to stop.
After a minute or two of sheer agony he could hear him breathing heavily and sure enough the man orgasmed, moaning against his neck with another hard tug on his hair. When he let go of him he felt a horrible sensation along his scalp and that revealed that it was probably bleeding too. Wooyoung pulled out of him and tossed the condom on the floor by his boots and Taehyung just stared at it as he listened to him leaving the alley. Then he slowly bent down and pulled his jeans and underwear back up, wincing at the flare of pain the movement caused. After he had fastened them up he slipped the wad of bills out and looked at it.
150,000.
He shoved the cash back and felt his eyelids burning so he reached up and rubbed at them roughly, lower lip quivering.
He had just prostituted himself for just 150,000 and the others didn't know about it.
Taehyung slipped the hotel room key out of his pocket and eyed it for a moment, running his thumb along the square fob and looking at the little image printed on it: a cottage with a thatch roof and a little trail of smoke coming out the chimney. Quaint. He lifted his gaze to look at the metal lock underneath the door handle and suddenly he didn't want to open the door. He was scared that he would unlock it and step inside only for the three boys to dive out of bed and demand to know where he had gone wandering off to, having been woken up by the sound of him slipping out barely an hour ago. That he would wake one of them up when he stepped inside and they would follow him around sleepily, asking him why he stunk of alcohol and why he was dressed. But he couldn't stand outside all night and so he forced himself to slip the key into the lock and turn it slowly, hearing the tumblers shifting in the silence as he did. Then he pushed the door open and stepped inside.
His eyes had adjusted to the dark and he saw Jungkook first, one leg free from the covers to show a flash of skin, the rest over him messily as he lay on his back with his face turned away from him. Then he saw the slight bump of Hoseok under the covers, black hair fanned out on the light blue pillow like an oil slick. Lastly, lying in their shared bed was Jimin. The boy was facing the door and lying on his stomach, arms under the pillow and covers just over his waist. He took a deep breath and closed the door, hearing it click slightly before he fumbled to lock it again, and then he waited. Nothing. No noise other than soft snoring coming from one of them and the drone of traffic through the open window across the room.
Taehyung let his pent up breath out in a soft sigh as he pressed his forehead against the cool wood of the door. His heart was racing so he took a few deep breaths to slow it down whilst he removed his shoes. Bending down made stabbing pains shoot up into his lower stomach and he just clenched his jaw tightly to stop any pained noises escaping his lips. He wrenched on the knots and got out of them as fast as he could and then got back upright. He had to lean against the door because his legs felt unsteady and his head was swimming. He wasn't going to faint, he had been through this before and worst, but the sensation was horrible and it left him so weak that he considered getting on his hands and knees to crawl across the room. He would have done it if he hadn't known that the movement would once again cause him sheer agony.
He opened his eyes and looked at his sleeping friends as his head started to clear up. They were dreaming right now, or blissfully unconscious to reality, and yet he wasn't. He was currently residing in something that felt like a nightmare but he couldn't just curl up beside his friend and sleep. Oh no, he still had work to do; evidence to clean up.
Taehyung crept across the room slowly, hands out in front of him like a blind man as he navigated the room by with his feet alone; stretching his toes out to feel for any obstacles so that he wouldn't trip over, for any stray shoes or food cartons. After a dreadful minute he felt his fingers touching a wall and he moved along it until he felt a door frame, glossy paint against his fingertips. He stepped inside and got to the sink before pausing for a moment. He could see his reflection in the mirror on the wall thanks to the small window by the shower and tub. It let in a harsh yellow light that was undoubtedly from a streetlight. He stared at himself in a mixture of disgust and pity and then slowly reached up to start parting his hair. After a few seconds of feeling with his fingers he found the cut on his scalp and when he pulled them away again he saw a clump of hair come free to land in the sink. Taehyung stared at it and once again felt the urge to cry overcome him.
"I don't deserve to fucking cry," he hissed at his reflection under his breath, seeing his own lips pull back in a smear that revealed blood still caught between his teeth from earlier. He turned the tap on to wash the clump of hair away and after a few seconds he moved the plug to block the hole and fill the sink up. He was going to need to clean the cut on his scalp out but first he had a more important matter to attended to.
He reached down to touch the top button of his jeans as he watched the water streaming out the tap. He knew that he should get it over with, not look at all and rather just do it as fast and cleanly as he could, but he couldn't seem to undo the button. He didn't want to step out of his jeans and underwear to see a massive stain of blood all over the white cotton. He didn't want to look at his own thighs and see smears on the insides, smears that would go all the way along to his buttocks; the coppery scent hitting his nose and getting under his nails so that he couldn't get his hands to stop stinking of blood even days after no matter how much he scrubbed. But he had to do it because he had no choice. He had already gotten the worst part over with, and this was practically nothing in comparison.
"The fucking isn't the worst part," he muttered as turned the tap off and pulled his zipper down, "it's the guilty feelings and disgust afterwards that is." Which was true, was so painfully true.
He had just slipped his jeans down when he heard a loud gasp and he whirled around to see Jimin standing in the doorway.
Taehyung could do nothing more than stare at him dumbly, and the other boy stared right back. He must have woken him up when he had entered the room somehow and he hadn't noticed, too preoccupied with his own thoughts, for he saw that he was clad only in his underwear and his hair was sleep-tousled to stick up in messy points and fall across his brow. He had actually been carrying a pillow in his arms but he had dropped it in shock, the white lump sitting on his feet like a strangely flat and lifeless cat.
"Shit Tae, the blood what the fuck? What the-"
"Shut the fuck up," he hissed at him, painfully aware of the fact that Jungkook and Hoseok were asleep in the other room and that any loud noise could wake them up too. Why, they could all mill into the bathroom and point and stare at him: Kim Taehyung the zoo exhibition, complete with bloodstained underpants and a bruise on his cheekbone.
"What happened to you?" Jimin asked in the most confused and scared voice he had ever heard coming from his lips. The boy's eyes were latched onto his underwear and he knew that he could see the blood all over them because he could feel it sticking to his skin, meaning that he would need to peel the material off like tape. "Tae, you need to tell me what the fuck happe-"
Taehyung grabbed hold of his shoulder and wrenched him out of the open doorway before clamping his other hand over his mouth. He didn't mean to push him hard but the boy smacked into the bathroom wall and there was a soft thumping noise as his back hit it. Above his hand he could see Jimin's wide eyes looking at him, no longer sleepy and half-lidded but fully awake.
"Don't wake the others up," he said in a quiet voice, "or I'll fucking kill you Jimin, I swear I will." Then he lowered his hand slowly and the other boy didn't say a word as he stared at him. "They can't know, you're not supposed to fucking know."
"Know what?"
"...Know nothing, OK, I got cash that's all that matters." Jimin furrowed his brow slightly at this and he could see his mental cogs turning slowly as his sleepy brain processed it all. "So, don't tell the others."
"Tae..." he said in a quiet voice, barely above a whisper and showing that he had learnt the lesson about talking too loudly. "Please tell me what happened. Please." But he just shook his head. "This is serious OK, like really serious and I don't think that you should be pretending it's not. If the others-"
"The others aren't gonna know 'cos you're not gonna fucking tell 'em."
"No, I know, but if they did they'd say this too. It's real fucking important so tell me what the fuck happened." And for once Jimin managed to sound surprisingly authoritative, furrowing his brow in annoyance and using a stern tone that made him remember the fact that the boy was actually older than he was. He could see that Jimin was frightened, he wasn't even trying to hide it, but he wasn't backing down in the slightest.
"I went to a bar."
"OK, so what then?"
"I left here to go looking for cash 'cos we really needed it, alright? That's why I left, it wasn't about me, if wasn't about getting drunk or any of that shit it was about the cash." The boy nodded and told him that he understood and Taehyung took a deep breath. "I met a guy in the bar, we talked, I had a plan, I always have a plan when I need cash. So I told him the plan, he agreed and-"
"What plan, you didn't tell me the plan?"
"Jimin...Look, I don't wanna tell you," he whined, shifting as he did so that he could look across the bathroom. "I don't wanna, can't you just forget about the plan?"
"Tae."
"I..." he paused. "Promise me you won't get mad or tell the others. That you...be disgusted with me or call me shit or-"
"I promise, you can tell me anything." And Jimin held up his hand to show him his upright pinky, waiting for him to accept. So Taehyung wrapped his own finger around his tightly.
"Jimin...I let the guy fuck me." His friend studied his face without saying a single thing but he heard him take a sharp little intake of breath at his words. "In an alley outside the bar." For a horrible minute the boy didn't speak and he waited on tenterhooks to see what would be the first thing to come out of his mouth. Jimin's lips quivered as if he was trying to get words out, like he was still thinking it all over in his head, and eventually he managed to let a soft whisper escape his pursed lips.
"Please say that there was protection."
"There was, there was," Taehyung said in relief, relief that he hadn't slapped him or called him a whore or something equally as ghastly like he had been imagining in his head. "A condom." He felt a sob moving up into his throat and he couldn't seem to swallow.
"Thank god..." Jimin said before reaching up to cover his mouth. After a few seconds he moved his hand up along his brow and brushed his hair back off his brow with a sigh that didn't sound even. "Tae, let's get you cleaned up."
"What? No, I don't need you to..." But he could see on his friend's face that it wasn't going to work, that he was going to refuse to leave him to do it on his own. "There's a...a cut on my scalp you can help me clean. I can't see it." Jimin got onto tiptoe and he pulled his hair aside to show him it. He heard him wincing as he studied it, making a soft noise under his breath.
"Let me get a few things, hang on." The boy disappeared into the other section of the hotel room and he closed his eyes and sagged against the wall again. This wasn't supposed to happen, no one was supposed to know and yet Jimin had gotten tangled up in it all in just a matter of seconds. His secret was out and there was nothing he could do about it other than trust the boy with his solemn promise to not tell anyone. He had thought earlier on that everyone was too busy to find out about him and now the boy had completely ruined the idea. When Jimin returned he did so with a small bottle of something and a towel. "This is gonna sting, you might wanna bite on something." He tipped the bottle to splash some of the liquid on a corner of the towel, deep brown murky liquid, and the smell hit him just as he lifted it to wipe at the cut.
Antiseptic.
Taehyung shoved his hand in his mouth and bit down hard on the curve of skin just below his thumb, feeling the tendons shifting under his flesh as he clenched from the pain. It was like someone had poured gasoline on his head and flicked a lit match on top and his very brain seemed to be on fire. He heard several noises coming out from his mouth, muted by his hand, and Jimin made sympathetic sounds as he quickly cleaned the cut. When he lowered his hand again Taehyung saw that the white cotton of the towel was stained a rusty red with his blood, vision blurred because tears of pain had welled in his eyes. As the stinging faded to a dull burn he pulled his own hand free and looked at it to see perfect indents of his teeth in a crescent-shaped mark on his skin.
Then Jimin was pulling his underpants down before he could even do so much as blink the tears away.
He tried to snatch hold of the waistband but he was too slow and they just dropped to the floor with a soft rustling noise. His friend's eyes dropped to them and Taehyung couldn't stop himself from looking down even though he knew what he would see. Like a blooming rose on the cotton; the perfect crimson stain of blood.
"I'm sorry," he said in a choked voice, "I'm sorry."
"What're you apologising for?" Jimin asked in complete confusion as he dragged his eyes up to look at his face.
"For fucking up," Taehyung gasped as the first sob forced itself up and into his mouth. "For always fuh-fucking up and-" His friend cupped his face roughly and turned it so that he was looking right at him.
"You didn't fuck up, OK. You don't need to apologise 'cos this didn't happen, right?"
"Ruh-right."
"We're gonna clean you up and go to sleep and tomorrow none of this happened," Jimin said in a quiet voice. "And it'll stay that way until you do wanna talk about it."
"Oh-OK," Taehyung sobbed, breathing uneven as he tried to get himself under his control. "Nuh-nothing hah-happened." Jimin took his wrist and gently led him over so that was closer to the sink and then he dipped his hand in the water that he had filled it up with. After a moment he felt his palm on the back of his thigh and when he looked down he saw water running down his legs, tinged slightly from the blood. "It's just... we nuh-needed the cash so I tuh-thought it would be a guh-good idea."
"Has this happened before Tae?" Jimin asked quietly and he twisted slightly to look at him, hunkered down beside him as he cleaned blood off the backs of his thighs.
"A fuh-few times."
"Promise me you won't do this again, even if you're desperate?"
"I wuh-won't do it Jimin." The boy silently accepted his promise and Taehyung just stared at the puddle forming on the linoleum at his feet dumbly. "150,000. That's how much cash I got. All of this for... for such a pitiful amount."
"It's not a pitiful amount," Jimin said quietly. "So don't talk about yourself like that. You felt like it was desperate, you made a rash decision in the heat of the moment. We all make mistakes Tae. This is no different."
"Not many people prostitute themselves for quick cash Jimin." At the word 'prostitute' his friend flinched slightly, now that the actual situation had been brought to light so bluntly. "'Specially not high school kids."
"You don't go to high school," he retorted without missing a beat and despite everything Taehyung felt a laugh leaving his lips. Jimin had finished the backs of his thighs and he felt his hands gently moving towards the inner section to get rid of any smears too. The worst part was yet to come and they both knew it. "A mistake is a mistake, that's all there is to it."
Taehyung stood there as still as a statue whilst the other boy cleaned his skin free of blood, fingers moving gently along his skin wet with soapy water that helped wash it away. He should have been doing it himself but he lacked the strength to do so and he knew that it was pathetic. But his friend doing so for him in a strangely motherly way, made him feel that his words were right: that it was a stupid mistake. This was no different from skinning in his knee falling from a tree and having one of their mothers kiss it better and stick a band-aid on the gash seen as his own mother wouldn't have done so. Jimin was washing away all of the bad with his gentle hands and calming his anguished brain with his soothing words. When it came to the most obvious part of the clean up Jimin wet the towel instead of his hands and he just wiped that along his skin instead, all the while humming under his breath just so that the air wasn't silent and awkward. When he had cleaned to his best abilities he patted his skin dry and got to his feet.
"Let me get you some clean underwear." He looked at the white towel, covered in antiseptic and bloody smears, and didn't take his gaze off it until the boy returned a moment later. "Put these on but first," he went to the toilet and rolled a great handful of toilet paper before wadding it up, "put this inside." Taehyung stared at the wad of paper and if he hadn't already cried his eyes swollen and dry he'd have burst into tears again. "Just in case." He took the underpants and paper roll out of his hands and did as he told him too, even when he felt dirty just shoving the wad inside; like he was hiding evidence. He would wake up tomorrow and flush it away and none of the others would even know.
He had just slipped them on when Jimin opened the cupboard under the sink and made a soft noise and when he turned the boy pulled out a sanitary towel that had been forgotten by a previous person in the room. Taehyung stared at the white and pink plastic wrapper, floral prints and so very cute, and he felt his stomach lurching.
"No," he moaned rather than said.
"Don't 'no' me," Jimin said, "use this tomorrow. Stick it in your underwear, I'm not fucking around. Do you wanna risk bleeding through your jeans and having everyone see it? Do you?" He shook his head and he shook the pad. "Then use it."
"I'm not a fucking girl Jimin."
"No, but you need it, and right now you're acting like a baby." Taehyung eyed the sanitary towel and he knew that he was telling him the truth, but the idea of using it, of peeling it free and sticking it to his underwear, was the final insult that he would have to endure. The act itself, the pain and the knowledge that his friend knew about it, and now the spiral of disgust and shame. "I'll leave it here, where I found it. Be smart and use it, OK?"
"...OK."
"Now go to bed." He studied him for a moment before eyeing the mess on the floor, the bloody puddle and the stained underwear like a crime scene corpse. "I'll clean this up, no one will know." Taehyung stayed in the bathroom for a moment longer because he couldn't seem to get his legs to work, and then he slowly went to the other room and crossed it to get to the bed. As he sat down he felt another stab of pain and a strange warmth and he was thankful that the other boy had thought about the toilet roll wad and saved the underwear and the sheets. It took him some effort but he managed to lie down on his side and pull the covers up to his hips. His skin was clammy to the touch and he felt that strange sense of dizziness overcome him again as he stared at Hoseok in the bed just a few feet away, sleeping serenely and without a single care whilst he lay bleeding and Jimin cleaned up the mess he had made all over the bathroom.
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