Chapter 5: our hearts will go on
January 31, 2016
8:39 A.M.
perfectkawa ✌: HEYYYYYYYYY
perfectkawa ✌: ☆*✲゚*。((('♡‿♡'+)))。*゚✲*☆
ur favorite lolcat: that is ... the most ridiculous emoji ive ever seen
perfectkawa ✌: ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED
ur favorite lolcat: y
perfectkawa ✌: ASK ME
HOOT HOOT: WHAT HAPPENED
perfectkawa ✌: IWACHAN ASKED ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
perfectkawa ✌: ☆*:.。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Oh, good.
perfectkawa ✌: YOU DONT SOUND VERY EXCITED
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Well.
ur favorite lolcat: ohoho
HOOT HOOT: OHOHOHOHO
perfectkawa ✌: SAWAMURA WHAT DO U KNOW
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I may have told him to.
HOOT HOOT: OH MY GOD
ur favorite lolcat: truly a hero for our time
perfectkawa ✌: WAIT DOES HE
perfectkawa ✌: DOES HE KNOW ABOUT
ur favorite lolcat: did u tell him about the xfiles ranting
ur favorite lolcat: please tell me u told him about the xfiles ranting
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I said nothing of the sort!
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: ... I implied.
perfectkawa ✌: ⊂(⊙д⊙)つ
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Hey, it got the desired result, didn't it?
perfectkawa ✌: I MEAN
perfectkawa ✌: YES
perfectkawa ✌: BUT
perfectkawa ✌: AT WHAT COST
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Excuse me, I think I may be missing something here
HOOT HOOT: whats up ushiwaka
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Who is Iwachan?
perfectkawa ✌: IWAIZUMI HAJIME
perfectkawa ✌: SEIJOHS ACE
perfectkawa ✌: AND NOW
perfectkawa ✌: MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
perfectkawa ✌: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Ah
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Isn't he too nice for you?
perfectkawa ✌: WHAT
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: When our teams played against each other
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: He seemed like a decent person
perfectkawa ✌: ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT IM NOT A DECENT PERSON
ur favorite lolcat: yeah i think he is
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I just fail to understand why he would want to be romantically involved with you
HOOT HOOT: woah ushiwaka 0 chill
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Actually, I can answer that.
perfectkawa ✌: WHAT
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: >Iwaizumi Hajime, 8:14 P.M.
"If I'm dating him, I can get back at him much more easily."
>Mr. Sugawara Daichi, 8:15 P.M.
"For what?"
>Iwaizumi Hajime, 8:15 P.M.
"Everything."
ur favorite lolcat: oh man
HOOT HOOT: OHHHHHH
HOOT HOOT: NICE KILL IWACHAN
perfectkawa ✌: i
perfectkawa ✌: i have to go
ur favorite lolcat: tell iwaizumi i love him
perfectkawa ✌: FUCK YOU
HOOT HOOT: TELL HIM I LOVE HIM TOO
perfectkawa ✌: FUCK YOU TOO
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Tell him I admire his spiking form
perfectkawa ✌: FUCK YOU ESPECIALLY
ur favorite lolcat renamed this conversation to "rip in pieces oikawa tooru"
12:13 P.M.
perfectkawa ✌: ushiwaka
perfectkawa ✌: iwachan says he admires your spiking form too
perfectkawa ✌: now if youll excuse me
perfectkawa ✌: im going to marathon 5 seasons of the x files
February 6, 2016
10:48 P.M.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Guys have I ever told youuu
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: about
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: sugawrra koushi
perfectkawa ✌: what the fuck
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: he's just so
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: so
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: beauutful
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Sawamura, are you okay?
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: i'm great
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: sugas here
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: i love suga
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: hes like ........... hes
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: so nice and kkkkiii
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: kind
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: annnnddd his smi;e
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I am concerned
HOOT HOOT: dont be ushiwaka
HOOT HOOT: i think he's just a little drink
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: i ammmmm not
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: i hadd two beers
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: maaayyyyb th ree
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: m responsible
HOOT HOOT: holy shit sawamura's a lightweight
perfectkawa ✌: i am screenshotting literally all of this
HOOT HOOT: SHIT wheres kuroo when u need him
HOOT HOOT: KUROO
HOOT HOOT: BRO
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: wheres suga
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: i love suga
HOOT HOOT: ok im texting him hold on
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: suga?????
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: you cant text suga
ur favorite lolcat: bro what is it
ur favorite lolcat: ill have u know i had to stop cuddling with kenma (setter) for a whole thirty seconds for this
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: suga hasssssd
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: su ch nivcs eyes
ur favorite lolcat: holy shit
HOOT HOOT: WHATD I TELL U
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: i just wanted
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: to tell you all
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: howwww musch
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: i l;oave suga
ur favorite lolcat: you loave suga?
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: yyyyy
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: es
HOOT HOOT: WHY DONT YOU TELL SUGA HOW MUCH U LOAVE HIM
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: iiiiii cant
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I thought you and he were dating now?
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: hes in the bathrrrromm
perfectkawa ✌: ok then
perfectkawa ✌: tell us how much u loave suga
perfectkawa ✌: do u loave his perfect buns
ur favorite lolcat: wow oikawa im ROLLing on the floor laughing at that pun
perfectkawa ✌: its just a SLICE of what ive got in store
ur favorite lolcat: at YEAST share some of them with us
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: wait!!!!!
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: hes back!!!!!!!!!!!
ur favorite lolcat: oh no
HOOT HOOT: SAWAMURA DONT LEAVE US
HOOT HOOT: U LOAVE US
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: by
perfectkawa ✌: GO GET SOME SAWAMURA
ur favorite lolcat: goddamn it
perfectkawa ✌: kuroo do u loave drunk sawamura or do u LOAVE drunk sawamura
HOOT HOOT: LOAVE
HOOT HOOT changed the title to DAICHI LOAVES SUGA
ur favorite lolcat: perfect
perfectkawa ✌: this has truly been a great day (❁'▽'❁)*✲゚*
February 7, 2016
9:18 A.M.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: What the fuck.
ur favorite lolcat: so hows the hangover
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Oh, is that what this is? I thought I was still drunk.
ur favorite lolcat: jeez
ur favorite lolcat: drink better alcohol
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Help, please.
ur favorite lolcat: greasy food, water, aspirin, avoid sunlight
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Thank you.
perfectkawa ✌: how's suga?
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: He's okay. He didn't get a hangover.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: We fell asleep together on his couch, and he's making breakfast now.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: He likes to sing when he cooks.
perfectkawa ✌: aww
perfectkawa ✌: you guys are cute o(〃^▽^〃)o
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: ...Thanks?
perfectkawa ✌: what
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: That's just unexpected, coming from you...
perfectkawa ✌: i don't know why you would say that (⊙︿⊙✿)
ur favorite lolcat: ah, the green-eyed monster has been tamed
perfectkawa ✌: would you stop quoting things i don't recognize
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: What does that mean?
ur favorite lolcat: nothing, nothing
February 8, 2016
8:13 P.M.
perfectkawa ✌: hey kuroo
ur favorite lolcat: yo
perfectkawa ✌: ive got a question about ur s.o.
ur favorite lolcat: ...
ur favorite lolcat: should i be suspicious?
perfectkawa ✌: nah it's about volleyball
perfectkawa ✌: when he sets during matches, how does he signal who he's going to set to? i was watching the videos of some games from nationals and i can't figure out what he's doing - signals or facial expressions or anything. it's really bothering me
ur favorite lolcat: ok 3 things
ur favorite lolcat: 1. where did you get video of our games during nationals? i dont even have video of our games during nationals
ur favorite lolcat: 2. they, not he. use they when referring to kenma
ur favorite lolcat: 3. why dont you ask them? i thought you had their skype
perfectkawa ✌: yeah, but they won't tell me!!! .( ̵˃﹏˂̵ )
perfectkawa ✌: they just said "i figure it out, then i toss"
perfectkawa ✌: not very helpful at all
ur favorite lolcat: and u thought id tell u their secrets?
perfectkawa ✌: well
ur favorite lolcat: lol no way
perfectkawa ✌: but kurochaaaaaaaan!!!!!
perfectkawa ✌: i thought we were frieeeeeends!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Wait.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: They?
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I didn't know you could do that.
ur favorite lolcat: yeah well kenma's genderfluid so
ur favorite lolcat: did i not tell you guys that?
ur favorite lolcat: i know bokuto knows bc he sees them all the time
perfectkawa ✌: i thought it was pretty evident from the kenma in a skirt ... whatever that was
ur favorite lolcat: yeah
ur favorite lolcat: yeah
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Kuroo?
ur favorite lolcat: sorry, was just thinking about kenma in a skirt
ur favorite lolcat: but yeah, genderfluid
ur favorite lolcat: i mean, theyre still figuring it out? but for now, theyve told me that genderfluid is the term they feel fits best, and they asked me to use they/them pronouns
ur favorite lolcat: so if you guys could do the same thing thatd be cool
HOOT HOOT: HEY BRO WHATS COOL
HOOT HOOT: OH KENMAS PRONOUNS
HOOT HOOT: KENMAS PRONOUNS ARE VERY COOL
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I didn't realize that was ... grammatically correct?
ur favorite lolcat: its in the dictionary
ur favorite lolcat: well, not our dictionary
ur favorite lolcat: but in english dictionaries and stuff
ur favorite lolcat: people like kenma arent girls or boys, theyre outside of that whole binary. so they dont use girl or boy pronouns. they use whatever fits them best. and sometimes they change it around depending on how theyre feeling?
ur favorite lolcat: idk kenma explains it better than i do
HOOT HOOT: nobody ever really understands kenmas explanations besides u bro
ur favorite lolcat: chibi-chan
HOOT HOOT: TRUE
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: So, Kenma's not he , but they ?
ur favorite lolcat: yeah
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Alright, I'll try to do that.
ur favorite lolcat: ty bro
8:46 P.M.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: This is interesting
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: What is?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Kenma being genderfluid. They pronouns.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I hadn't known that was
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: An okay thing to do
ur favorite lolcat: do you want me to try to explain it more?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: No
8:52 P.M.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Maybe
ur favorite lolcat: i can give you kenma's skype if you want to talk to them
8:54 P.M.
ur favorite lolcat: ?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Yes
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Thank you
ur favorite lolcat: no problem dude
February 11, 2016
3:35 P.M.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Guys, I just found the funniest joke.
perfectkawa ✌: really
ur favorite lolcat: do share it with the class
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Okay. A bowl of ramen walks into a bar and orders sake.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
perfectkawa ✌: wow
ur favorite lolcat: oh my god
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Hilarious, right?
ur favorite lolcat: ur use of correct punctuation is hilarious
ur favorite lolcat: the joke? decidedly less hilarious
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Wait, I've got another one.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
ur favorite lolcat: i have no words
perfectkawa ✌: sawamura where tf are u finding these
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: The internet?
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I thought I'd finally go see what all the fuss with internet jokes was about.
HOOT HOOT: so u arent just getting them from your dad?
ur favorite lolcat: BRO
ur favorite lolcat: UR HERE
ur favorite lolcat: pls save me from this dad joke hell
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I have another one: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Wait, dad joke hell?
perfectkawa ✌: sawamura im not sure i can be friends with you anymore
HOOT HOOT: oh come on oikawa dont be mean
HOOT HOOT: just because he has the sense of humor of a 70 year old man
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I don't have the sense of humor of a 70 year old man!
ur favorite lolcat: sure
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I for one think those jokes are hilarious.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Wait, one more. Just for you, Kuroo.
ur favorite lolcat: im terrified
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Ask me if I can put the cat out.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: You dont have a cat
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Just ask me.
HOOT HOOT: sawamura can you put the cat out
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I didn't know it was on fire!
perfectkawa ✌: ohhhhh my god
ur favorite lolcat: ok that settles it
Mr. Sugawara Daichi's nickname is now Dad Joke Daichi.
Dad Joke Daichi: What have I ever done to deserve this?
Dad Joke Daichi: Couldn't I just be happy for a few weeks?
perfectkawa ✌: no
Dad Joke Daichi: I will kick out all of you.
ur favorite lolcat: u realize that's an empty threat at this point right?
ur favorite lolcat: u love us
HOOT HOOT: U LOVE US
perfectkawa ✌: LOOOOVE US
Dad Joke Daichi removed perfectkawa ✌ from this conversation.
Dad Joke Daichi removed ur favorite lolcat from this conversation.
Dad Joke Daichi removed HOOT HOOT from this conversation.
Dad Joke Daichi: I guess it's just you and me now, Ushiwaka.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Okay
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I suppose its good that I'm the only one who appreciates your jokes
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I actually have a joke of my own
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: What did the grass seed say to the ballfield?
Dad Joke Daichi: I don't know, what did the grass seed say?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I'm rooting for you.
Dad Joke Daichi: Ohhh!
Dad Joke Daichi: That's excellent.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Thanks
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: But I think we should add the others back
USHIIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Oikawa will be upset
Dad Joke Daichi: He usually is.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: We should prevent him from being more upset
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I dont hate him you know
Dad Joke Daichi: That's very mature of you.
Dad Joke Daichi added perfectkawa ✌.
Dad Joke Daichi added ur favorite lolcat.
Dad Joke Daichi added HOOT HOOT.
perfectkawa ✌: you suck
Dad Joke Daichi: Me or Ushijima?
perfectkawa ✌: BOTH
HOOT HOOT: ITS OK OIKAWA HE ADDED US BACK
HOOT HOOT: BC HE LOAVES US
Dad Joke Daichi: Arghhhhhh.
February 14, 2016
6:02 A.M.
perfectkawa ✌: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY LOSERS
perfectkawa ✌: HAVE FUN CELEBRATING YOUR PATHETIC RELATIONSHIPS
perfectkawa ✌: NONE OF WHICH CAN EVER HOPE TO BE AS GOOD AS MY INCREDIBLE RELATIONSHIP
6:31 A.M.
perfectkawa ✌: GUESS WHAT I GOT IWACHAN
perfectkawa ✌: GUESS
6:47 A.M.
perfectkawa ✌: ALRIGHT SINCE CLEARLY NONE OF YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO GUESS I'LL TELL YOU
perfectkawa ✌: I GOT HIM A STUFFED ANIMAL GODZILLA LIKE THIS ONE HE HAD WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER THAT I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IN THE WASHING MACHINE ONE TIME
perfectkawa ✌: AND SOME OF THIS CANDY HE LIKES THAT GOT DISCONTINUED
perfectkawa ✌: AND SOMETHING ELSE
perfectkawa ✌: WHICH I DONT NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT
7:03 A.M.
ur favorite lolcat: well now im curious
perfectkawa ✌: curious or jealous?
perfectkawa ✌: because im a better boyfriend than you?
ur favorite lolcat: ok listen ive been planning what i'm doing with kenma for weeks and its perfect
perfectkawa ✌: is it really
ur favorite lolcat: it is really
perfectkawa ✌: what is it
ur favorite lolcat: video game marathon
ur favorite lolcat: im gonna let them beat me every time
ur favorite lolcat: and i got all their favorite snacks
perfectkawa ✌: dont they only ever play video games anyway
ur favorite lolcat: ok but its with ME
perfectkawa ✌: you two are literally always together
perfectkawa ✌: and do you ever beat them at video games in the first place
ur favorite lolcat: cant hear the haters
ur favorite lolcat: theyre gonna love it
8:48 A.M.
ur favorite lolcat: they forgot it was valentine's day
perfectkawa ✌: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
6:10 P.M.
perfectkawa ✌: IWA-CHAN GOT ME A PRESENT TOO
HOOT HOOT: RLY
HOOT HOOT: WHAT WAS IT
perfectkawa ✌: he didn't punch me ALL DAY
perfectkawa ✌: (*^▽^)
ur favorite lolcat: some of us get that every day
perfectkawa ✌: PISS OFF KUROO
perfectkawa ✌: he also got me a ring
ur favorite lolcat: wHAT
HOOT HOOT: WOAH
Dad Joke Daichi: You're getting married?!
Dad Joke Daichi: Oikawa, you're too young for that.
perfectkawa ✌: NO
perfectkawa ✌: its a promise ring
ur favorite lolcat: tf is a promise ring
perfectkawa ✌: its what it sounds like you overgrown hairball
perfectkawa ✌: its a promise
perfectkawa ✌: to show your commitment
Dad Joke Daichi: Wow.
Dad Joke Daichi: I wouldn't have pegged Iwaizumi for a romantic.
perfectkawa ✌: ME NEITHER
perfectkawa ✌: i think its cause the school year is almost over
perfectkawa ✌: hes getting sentimental
ur favorite lolcat: lmfao @how we all got into relationships almost immediately before graduating
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I didnt
ur favorite lolcat: alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright
perfectkawa ✌: whatre YOU doing with YOUR partner today ushiwaka-chan
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: After practice, I'm going to make dinner, and then we're going to watch some of this anime he likes
perfectkawa ✌: ... dammit thats not bad
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: What do you mean?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Its what we do every day
perfectkawa ✌: ARGHHHHHHHH
ur favorite lolcat: ur cute ushiwaka
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Thank you
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: The anime is pretty interesting
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Its called Naruto
HOOT HOOT: OH WOW
ur favorite lolcat: lmfaooooooo
Dad Joke Daichi: Is something wrong with Naruto?
ur favorite lolcat: oh where to start
HOOT HOOT: hey no hate :/
HOOT HOOT: in my opinion sasuke is a really beautiful guy with luscious hair
ur favorite lolcat: bokuto you have to stop defending fictional boys just because theyre pretty
HOOT HOOT: ok hes really cool
HOOT HOOT: REALLY COOL
HOOT HOOT: SAKURA
HOOT HOOT: THE BEAUTIFUL
Dad Joke Daichi: ... What is going on?
HOOT HOOT: NINJA CLAN NINJA CLAN HERE WE STAND
ur favorite lolcat: HOOT HOOT: BELIEEEEEEEVE IT
ur favorite lolcat: bro i love u but im probably going to have this stuck in my head for the next week now
HOOT HOOT: IS THAT A BAD THING
perfectkawa ✌: OKAY MEANWHILE
ur favorite lolcat: i agree with oikawa
perfectkawa ✌: im assuming sawamura is doing something grossly cute with his bf?
Dad Joke Daichi: Hey!
Dad Joke Daichi: ...You're right, though.
Dad Joke Daichi: My parents went to Kyoto for the weekend, and my sister made herself scarce, so Suga stayed over last night.
ur favorite lolcat: get some
Dad Joke Daichi: Oh, cut it out. We're only eighteen, you know.
perfectkawa ✌: sawamura you cant see it but im rolling my eyes
Dad Joke Daichi: Alright.
Dad Joke Daichi: Well, we did share my bed, and we kissed a lot.
Dad Joke Daichi: So I guess it was a little bit racy.
Dad Joke Daichi: Nowhere below the neck, though!
ur favorite lolcat: oh ok i was worried it was getting lewd
Dad Joke Daichi: No, no! Of course not!
Dad Joke Daichi: Anyway, before that we went for a walk up to the overlook where I asked him out, and we watched the sunset, and then we looked at the stars.
Dad Joke Daichi: And then this morning we stayed in our pajamas and made breakfast and danced a bit, and we gave each other chocolates.
perfectkawa ✌: ok that is really sweet
Dad Joke Daichi: Oh! And I wrote a poem for him.
perfectkawa ✌: SHOW???
ur favorite lolcat: please share sawamura
Dad Joke Daichi: ...Alright, if you insist.
Dad Joke Daichi: Suga, your smile is
Not the sun - not so bright
So blinding, even if it does hurt
To look at sometimes - it is
The rooftops of the city in
The morning, it is
The rippling waves of the ocean,
It is the light rising back up
To meet the sun.
And the sun - the sun is
Your heart.
Could it be anything else?
Is there any other star
In the galaxy, the universe
That shines so brightly,
Sings so sweetly,
Brings the earth so much grace and
Beauty and life?
I look at you, and I think,
No, there isn't.
Dad Joke Daichi: What do you think?
ur favorite lolcat: that was
ur favorite lolcat: certainly
ur favorite lolcat: something
perfectkawa ✌: words truly fail me
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I like it
HOOT HOOT: SAWAMURA THATS ADORABLE
perfectkawa ✌: oh thank god a diversion
perfectkawa ✌: BOKUTO HOW WAS YOUR VALENTINE'S DAY
HOOT HOOT: IT WAS RAD
HOOT HOOT: YUKIE GOT ME CHOCOLATES
perfectkawa ✌: (yukie?)
HOOT HOOT: (OUR MANAGER)
HOOT HOOT: THEN SHE ATE HALF OF THEM
HOOT HOOT: BUT IT WAS A NICE THOUGHT
perfectkawa ✌: so you and akaashi aren't doing anything?
HOOT HOOT: uhhhh he asked if i want to get mcdonald's later???
perfectkawa ✌: thats not very romantic bokuto
HOOT HOOT: im not in a romantic relationship bro
perfectkawa ✌: oh
perfectkawa ✌: okay
6:41 P.M.
perfectkawa ✌: sorry
HOOT HOOT: its all good :D
February 21, 2016
8:38 A.M.
ur favorite lolcat: DOG ALERT
ur favorite lolcat sent a picture
HOOT HOOT: WHAT A GOOD DOG
Dad Joke Daichi: !!
Dad Joke Daichi: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad Joke Daichi: OH MY GOD
HOOT HOOT: >Dad Joke Daichi, 1:26 p.m.
"OH MY GOD"
excited sawamura preserved for posterity
Dad Joke Daichi: IT'S A REALLY GOOD DOG, OKAY.
ur favorite lolcat: its name is toby
Dad Joke Daichi: A GOOD NAME FOR A GOOD DOG.
perfectkawa ✌: whoa
perfectkawa ✌: ohhhhhhh it is so small
Dad Joke Daichi: IT IS PERFECT SIZED.
HOOT HOOT: KUROO YOU BROKE HIM
ur favorite lolcat: WAIT THERES ANOTHER ONE
ur favorite lolcat sent a picture
perfectkawa ✌: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HOOT HOOT: PUPPY
ur favorite lolcat: bokuto it's like fifteen years old and its muzzle is all gray
HOOT HOOT: PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad Joke Daichi: I LOVE IT.
Dad Joke Daichi: ITS PAWS ARE SO SMALL AND PERFECT.
HOOT HOOT: SAWAMURA ARE YOU A DOG PERSON
Dad Joke Daichi: MAYBE
perfectkawa ✌: sawamura i think this is the most excited i've ever seen you
Dad Joke Daichi: I HAVE A GOOD REASON
perfectkawa ✌: ...its just a dog
Dad Joke Daichi: BUT IT'S SUCH A GOOD DOG
HOOT HOOT: THE MAN HAS A POINT
Dad Joke Daichi: Look how talented it is!
perfectkawa ✌: talented?
Dad Joke Daichi: It only has one job in the world, and that is being a dog.
Dad Joke Daichi: It is so good at being a dog.
HOOT HOOT: I AGREE
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I agree also
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Those are some very good dogs
Dad Joke Daichi: :D
ur favorite lolcat: sawamura pls go back to normal this is unnerving
perfectkawa ✌: ^^^^^^
February 27, 2016
6:48 P.M.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Hello everyone
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I have a question
HOOT HOOT: ushiwaka!!!!!
HOOT HOOT: whats up bro?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: As you know, the end of the school year is approaching
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: And I would like to do something for my team
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Something celebratory
HOOT HOOT: ... so basically u want to throw a party
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: A party
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Yes
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: How does one throw a party
perfectkawa ✌: dude ur the captain
perfectkawa ✌: throwing parties is like half of ur job
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: It is?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Ive never done it before
perfectkawa ✌: ... suddenly i feel really bad for shiratorizawa
HOOT HOOT: dude havent they beaten ur team like five tournaments in a row
perfectkawa ✌: oh yeah
perfectkawa ✌: dont throw a party
perfectkawa ✌: nobody on ur team deserves a party
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: But they work very hard
perfectkawa ✌: my team works hard! and we deserve to go to nationals! but that never happened DID IT
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: As Ive said before
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: You should have come to Shiratorizawa
perfectkawa ✌: i m
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Oikawa, I'm only telling the truth
7:02 P.M.
perfectkawa ✌: fine
perfectkawa ✌: throw your teammates a party
perfectkawa ✌: see if i care
7:18 P.M.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I still have no idea how to throw a party
HOOT HOOT: get booze, snacks, music, and a space without too many easily breakable objects
HOOT HOOT: thats rlly it
Dad Joke Daichi: Be responsible.
ur favorite lolcat: maybe get tendou to help u out
ur favorite lolcat: he seems like a party man
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Yes. Ill ask Satori for help
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Thank you
HOOT HOOT: np bro! have fun
March 1, 2016
3:21 P.M.
Dad Joke Daichi: HEY GUYS GUESS WHO
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Is it Daichi
Dad Joke Daichi: NOOOOOPE
HOOT HOOT: HINATA????
Dad Joke Daichi: bingo!!!!
HOOT HOOT: :D :D :D :D :D :D
HOOT HOOT: CONGRATS ON GETTING INTO HIS PHONE AGAIN
Dad Joke Daichi: his passwords are really easy hahaha
Dad Joke Daichi: WE HAVE A PUN FOR YOU
HOOT HOOT: I LOVE PUNS
Dad Joke Daichi: OK HERE IT IS!!!!!!
Dad Joke Daichi: if me and kageyama adopted a child
HOOT HOOT: OH MY GOD IM GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER
Dad Joke Daichi: and we named suga-san the godmother
Dad Joke Daichi: what would we name daichi????
HOOT HOOT: TELL ME
Dad Joke Daichi: the QUADfather
HOOT HOOT: OH
HOOT HOOT: MY GOD
Dad Joke Daichi: :D :D :D
HOOT HOOT: THATS BRILLIANT YOURE THE BEST
3:41 P.M.
Dad Joke Daichi: Why does this always happen to me?
ur favorite lolcat: whys what always happen to you?
Dad Joke Daichi: First-years hijacking my phone.
Dad Joke Daichi: They've never done this to Suga.
perfectkawa ✌: maybe ur an easy target
Dad Joke Daichi: What's that supposed to mean?!
ur favorite lolcat: oh that reminds me
ur favorite lolcat: yknow what we should bring back
Dad Joke Daichi: What?
ur favorite lolcat changed their icon
Dad Joke Daichi: NO!
HOOT HOOT: OH HELL YES
HOOT HOOT changed their icon
perfectkawa ✌: ah yes
perfectkawa ✌ changed their icon
perfectkawa ✌: the back of a captain
Dad Joke Daichi: NO...
ur favorite lolcat: oh yes
HOOT HOOT: USHIWAKA WHERE ARE YOU
perfectkawa ✌: his icon is still sawamura's ass
HOOT HOOT: OH EXCELLENT
Dad Joke Daichi: You're all terrible.
HOOT HOOT: BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD
ur favorite lolcat: BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD
HOOT HOOT: BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD BODY SQUAD
[cut for length]
March 8, 2016
7:25 A.M.
perfectkawa ✌: This is incredible.
perfectkawa ✌: Thank you, all of you, for keeping Shittykawa in check when i'm not around.
Dad Joke Daichi: Iwaizumi?
perfectkawa ✌: Yes.
perfectkawa ✌: Hey, Sawamura.
Dad Joke Daichi: How did you get into Oikawa's phone?
Dad Joke Daichi: Doesn't he have a password?
perfectkawa ✌: He does.
perfectkawa ✌: It's 4-2-5-4-6-3. H-A-J-I-M-E.
Dad Joke Daichi: WHAT.
Dad Joke Daichi: AFTER HE MADE FUN OF ME SO MUCH FOR S-U-G-A.
perfectkawa ✌: Your password is S-U-G-A? Dude.
Dad Joke Daichi: Well, it isn't anymore.
Dad Joke Daichi: I can't believe he's just as much of a dork as he made fun of me for being.
perfectkawa ✌: Are you really that surprised?
perfectkawa ✌: I'm reading back through this chat and Oikawa hasn't really been hiding his true (terrible) self that much.
Dad Joke Daichi: That's true.
Dad Joke Daichi: Have you gotten to the X Files part yet?
perfectkawa ✌: The X Files part?
7:38 A.M.
perfectkawa ✌: Oh.
perfectkawa ✌: This is ... something.
Dad Joke Daichi: You see why I told you to ask him out.
perfectkawa ✌: I can't believe he thought I was straight.
Dad Joke Daichi: Hey, well, you're dating now, right?
perfectkawa ✌: Hell yeah we are.
perfectkawa ✌ sent a picture
perfectkawa ✌: Wait that's not a good angle hold on
perfectkawa ✌ sent a picture
perfectkawa ✌: He doesn't really have good angles at this time of morning.
Dad Joke Daichi: Not really a morning person, is he?
perfectkawa ✌: Nah, he needs five cups of coffee minimum to function.
perfectkawa ✌: Otherwise he just gets all clingy and demanding, and he can't really think for himself.
perfectkawa ✌: I mean, more so than normally.
perfectkawa ✌: He might be a King, but he's a pretty baffled one right now.
Dad Joke Daichi: That's not a very creative comparison.
perfectkawa ✌: Right, because you're one to talk.
Dad Joke Daichi: Suga's smile defies figurative language.
Dad Joke Daichi: Actually, this reminds me -
Dad Joke Daichi's nickname is now Mr. Sugawara Daichi.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I've been meaning to change that back.
perfectkawa ✌: You're such a sap.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: So are you.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Making terrible analogies about your boyfriend.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I thought Iwaizumi's analogy was pretty good
perfectkawa ✌: THANK YOU.
perfectkawa ✌: Man, I never thought I'd say that to Ushiwaka.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I'm pretty sure you've said that to me before.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: After games
perfectkawa ✌: That doesn't count.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Why not?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I think our teams have played some good games.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I look forward to playing you and Oikawa more in college.
perfectkawa ✌: I look forward to finally beating your dumb ass in college.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I wouldn't be so sure about that.
perfectkawa ✌: We'll see, Ushiwaka. We'll see.
perfectkawa ✌: Okay actually I have to go, I think he's waking up.
perfectkawa ✌: Nice talking to you guys.
8:34 A.M.
perfectkawa ✌: THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME
perfectkawa ✌: IWACHAN KEEPS CALLING ME MULDER
perfectkawa ✌: AS THOUGH I LOOK ANYTHING LIKE DAVID DUCHOVNY
perfectkawa ✌: MY HAIR IS WAY BETTER
9:12 A.M.
ur favorite lolcat: wait what happened?
ur favorite lolcat: oh
ur favorite lolcat: OH
HOOT HOOT: WHAT
ur favorite lolcat: READ THE EARLIER CHAT BRO
HOOT HOOT: HOLY SHIT
HOOT HOOT: SAWAMURA
HOOT HOOT: WHY DIDNT YOU ASK FOR MORE BLACKMAIL
ur favorite lolcat: no need, he embarrasses himself enough that we have plenty already
ur favorite lolcat: also those pictures are golden
perfectkawa ✌: I HATE ALL OF YOU
March 12, 2016
10:21 P.M.
HOOT HOOT: its been a few days since there was activity in this chat
HOOT HOOT: so HELLO EVERYONE
HOOT HOOT: HOWRE U DOING
HOOT HOOT: SEEN ANY GOOD MEMES LATELY
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I personally have not.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: The economy appears to be in something of a meme depression
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: In the past month, we have been seeing fewer and fewer quality new memes and more recycling of old memes, many of which were never very productive to begin with. All of this is contributing to meme depreciation. Soon the meme banks will fail and the meme market will collapse.
HOOT HOOT: leading to meme depression?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Exactly
HOOT HOOT: well this is just terrible
HOOT HOOT: USHIWAKA WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
HOOT HOOT: WE NEED TO REVITALIZE THE MEME ECONOMY
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: WE DO.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: BUT HOW?
HOOT HOOT: ARE YOU THINKING WHAT IM THINKING
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: ITS POSSIBLE THAT I AM
10:41 P.M.
ur favorite lolcat: do we stop them
perfectkawa ✌: i
perfectkawa ✌: i don't even know
perfectkawa ✌: it feels like when you leave your kid nephew in front of reruns of the berenstein bears tv show and come back half an hour later to find him cheerfully eating lard straight out of the container with his bare hands
ur favorite lolcat: i can honestly say i have never had that experience
perfectkawa ✌: you know what i mean >.<
ur favorite lolcat: yeah i get it
ur favorite lolcat: its the last thing youd ever expect anyone to be doing so calmly
10:46 P.M.
HOOT HOOT: an activity that lasts roughly 20 minutes before turning into sex
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: What is, netflix and chill?
HOOT HOOT: correct! that's $200 to ushijima
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Okay, your turn
HOOT HOOT: hmmmm
HOOT HOOT: Worst of Anime for $400
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: A coarse way to convince your son to pilot a mecha
HOOT HOOT: what
HOOT HOOT: wtf
HOOT HOOT: i have no idea
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: You have 28 seconds
HOOT HOOT: aw shit
HOOT HOOT: i give up
HOOT HOOT: Okay
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: The answer was, "Shinji get in the fucking robot"
HOOT HOOT: darn
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Only the strongest can win meme jeopardy
HOOT HOOT: ILL GET THE NEXT ONE
HOOT HOOT: what will your next choice be?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I'll take Prehistoric Memes for $500
HOOT HOOT: sing the entire melody of the hampster dance
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Sure
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Can we video call
HOOT HOOT: absolutely my fine sir
The Great Meme Jeopardy Game of 2016 is now calling...
Call ended, duration 4:28.
HOOT HOOT: A STUNNING PERFORMANCE BY USHIWAKA
HOOT HOOT: $500 TO USHIWAKA
[cut for length]
11:01 P.M.
ur favorite lolcat: i messaged sawamura for help
ur favorite lolcat: hes not responding
ur favorite lolcat: he might be asleep
perfectkawa ✌: he might be hiding
ur favorite lolcat: he might have the right idea on that one
perfectkawa ✌: do u think bokuto realizes what hes doing
ur favorite lolcat: oikawa, here is a life lesson
ur favorite lolcat: bokuto is much, much smarter than he seems
perfectkawa ✌: so. yes
ur favorite lolcat: yeah
ur favorite lolcat: im going to hide from the main chat for a while
perfectkawa ✌: me too
ur favorite lolcat: wanna watch the empire strikes back
perfectkawa ✌: ...
perfectkawa ✌: perfectkawa ✌: this doesn't mean i like you
ur favorite lolcat: :3c
ur favorite lolcat: yes it does
perfectkawa ✌: ok maybe a little bit
ur favorite lolcat: youve been talking to me every day for months
perfectkawa ✌: i take it back
ur favorite lolcat: too late that bridge is built
ur favorite lolcat: or something
perfectkawa ✌: youre really awful, you know that?
ur favorite lolcat: i try ;)
perfectkawa ✌: ughhhhhhh
March 16, 2016
3:14 A.M.
ur favorite lolcat: ok you know what
ur favorite lolcat: i cant look at this conversation being called The Great Meme Jeopardy Game Of 2016 anymore
ur favorite lolcat renamed this conversation to "national hot dad alliance"
ur favorite lolcat: someones gotta restore this to its former glory
ur favorite lolcat: keep our aesthetic alive
7:39 A.M.
HOOT HOOT: UR DOIN THE LORDS WORK BRO
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I agree
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I like this title
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: It is an appropriate title
8:02 A.M.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I suppose it is.
ur favorite lolcat: for you most of all ;)
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: And for you the least, so it balances itself out.
HOOT HOOT: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ur favorite lolcat: i
ur favorite lolcat: did i just get owned
ur favorite lolcat: in my own group chat
8:05 A.M.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Nice kill
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Thank you.
March 17, 2016
1:26 P.M.
HOOT HOOT: LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL HOWS IT FEEL
perfectkawa ✌: it went too fast
perfectkawa ✌: but also not fast enough ( >д<)
HOOT HOOT: today? or all of high school?
perfectkawa ✌: yes
ur favorite lolcat: wait, are we ALL graduating tomorrow?
perfectkawa ✌: i know all the miyagi schools are
ur favorite lolcat: tokyo too
Dad Joke Daichi: Oh, that reminds me, I was thinking about something the other day.
ur favorite lolcat: are there more dad jokes involved?
ur favorite lolcat: bc if so thats not good
Dad Joke Daichi: No.
Dad Joke Daichi: I thought it might be nice to do another video call.
HOOT HOOT: IM DOWN
perfectkawa ✌: tonight?
Dad Joke Daichi: Unless someone's busy.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: My teams party is tonight
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I wont be home until around 11
HOOT HOOT: we can wait for you bro! its not like any of us have real school tomorrow
perfectkawa ✌: we dont have to
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Yes we do.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: So, eleven tonight, then?
ur favorite lolcat: im in
perfectkawa ✌: fine
HOOT HOOT: :D
10:58 P.M.
ur favorite lolcat: is everyone here??
perfectkawa ✌: the party's here (๑'ᗢ'๑)ฅ
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I am here
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Me, too.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Everyone's here except Bokuto.
perfectkawa ✌: bokutooooo >.<
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Let's just start the call; he can join when he gets here.
national hot dad alliance is now calling...
11:06 P.M.
HOOT HOOT: woah sorry i was late everyone
HOOT HOOT: i was doing stuff
HOOT HOOT: and by stuff i mean akaashi
HOOT HOOT: and by doing i mean getting done by but yknow
HOOT HOOT: semantics
ur favorite lolcat: tmi bro tmi
HOOT HOOT: you know you're the only one i top for ;o
perfectkawa ✌: TMI TMI TMI
"Hey hey hey!" Bokuto came into focus, waving at the screen so quickly that his arm blurred and successfully interrupting Oikawa and Kuroo's debate about the narrative value of Boba Fett. Daichi's camera showed an empty room, and Ushijima hadn't answered the call yet.
"Hi, Bokuto-kun!' Oikawa smiled sincerely at Bokuto, and he beamed back. "Your buttons are mismatched."
"Oh, thanks for telling me!" Bokuto unbuttoned his shirt and rebuttoned it correctly with an unabashed grin. "Kind of got dressed in a hurry."
"You also have a pretty big hickey on your neck."
He was unperturbed. "Nothing I can do about that, bro."
HOOT HOOT: you comin ushiwaka?
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: Yes
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: I have to press some buttons first
HOOT HOOT: k
HOOT HOOT: i trust you bro
"Where's Akaashi?" Kuroo asked.
"Oh, he's in the other room." Bokuto gestured somewhere offscreen. "Playing Pokemon. He says he'll pay attention to me when I'm done talking to you nerds."
"I'm not a nerd," Oikawa protested.
"I have direct evidence otherwise," Kuroo said.
Oikawa's eyes narrowed. "Prove it."
A smirk lurched across Kuroo's face like a slime mold.
ur favorite lolcat sent a file: xxfilies.txt.
Oikawa clicked on the file and scanned through it. The other captains watched as his facial expression changed from mildly concerned to a mixture of disgust and abject terror, like a small child reading a diatribe proving in ten different ways that Santa isn't real.
"This is over a thousand words," he said slowly.
"Yes."
"Of me talking about Star Wars, Star Trek, and the X Files."
Kuroo cocked an eyebrow. "I think you mean the xxfilies."
Oikawa lunged forward, but before he could attempt to rip Kuroo's head off through his webcam, Daichi strode into his camera's range and settled down into his desk chair, a bottle of water in his hand. "Hi, guys."
Oikawa sat back down, but not without an I'm going to destroy you glare at the place where Kuroo was still smirking at him on his screen.
"Hey, Sawamura!" Bokuto exclaimed.
"Yo," Kuroo added, as though he was completely innocent.
"Hello," Ushijma's chest said.
Wait - Ushijima's chest?
Ushijima's screen rectangle was currently displaying the bottom part of a black T-shirt with some kind of slogan about power and energy, and the waistband and belt of a pair of jeans.
"Dude, tilt your camera up," Bokuto said. "None of us can see your face."
"My camera is up."
"Then ..." Kuroo tilted his head and examined his screen. "Sit down?"
"Oh. I suppose I could sit down." There was a thump, and then Ushijima's face filled his screen. "Is this better?"
"Back up a little, you're too close - okay, good. I like your mug."
"Thanks." Ushijima took a sip from his Shiratorizawa-purple mug.
"How was your team party?" asked Bokuto. "Wild and raunchy?"
Ushijima considered the question thoroughly. "It was good. I think. Goshiki was loud. So was Satori."
"Were they super surprised?"
Ushijima shook his head. "Satori is not very good at keeping secrets. They seemed to enjoy themselves, though."
"Can't have been worse than anything Oikawa's thrown," Kuroo drawled.
Oikawa gasped like a southern belle who had just been told her dress was unbecoming. "I'll have you know my parties were fantastic. "
"Oh yeah, I'm sure, with Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare like you're still at Kitagawa Daiichi?"
" I am mature enough to acknowledge that Truth or Dare is great. Besides, you've got no right to talk, you didn't spend time with your teammates outside of practice at all until Sawamura told you to."
"At least I'm not still playing Truth or Dare when I'm about to graduate from high school."
Oikawa sniffed haughtily. "Truth or Dare is a proud Seijoh tradition that will endure into futures untold."
"You can't know that."
"Can too."
"Can not." Kuroo grinned his lopsided grin.
"Can too." Oikawa smirked back.
"Can not."
"Can too."
"Can not."
"Can too."
Daichi looked back and forth between the two other captains, wondering how it was possible that both of their teams had thoroughly defeated his some time in the past year. Bokuto leaned back in his chair, humming to himself. Ushijima carefully examined his mug.
"How can you be sure that your kouhais will still like middle school party games years from now?"
"It's just part of Seijoh. Don't you guys have any idea what your teams will be like after you're gone?"
At Oikawa's words, Daichi and Ushijima both looked up, and Bokuto sat up again, the smile sliding from his face.
Daichi sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Honestly? I try not to think about it, but I'm a bit worried. It's not that I don't trust Ennoshita, it's just... Hinata and Kageyama won't have anyone to force them to study, and Tanaka and Nishinoya won't have anyone to keep them from picking fights with everyone they meet, and Yachi is a good manager, she works really hard, but she gets so nervous around new people - what if she has a hard time scheduling practice matches without Kiyoko? Or talking to people from other teams? Or -"
"We get it, Sawamura," Kuroo interrupted him. "You're a good dad who worries about his kids."
"I am not a dad," Daichi insisted.
The other captains looked at him.
He raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, fine. I see your point."
"I think your team will be fine, though," Bokuto told him. "Like, you guys have come so far! I saw you at Nationals - it's hard to believe that was the same team that lost almost every single one of its sets at the training camp last summer."
Daichi grinned. "Yeah, that's true. They've all worked so hard - man, a year ago Hinata and Kageyama hated each other, and Asahi had given up on volleyball, and we didn't even have a coach ..."
"Wait, you didn't have a coach?" Oikawa repeated.
Daichi nodded. "For the past year and a half before this one, actually."
The other captains let out a collective whistle.
"What did you ... do?" Bokuto asked, eyes wide.
"Ran our own practices. Came up with our own drills. Tried to figure out how to be a team as best we could. It was hard, but." Daichi shrugged. "It kept the team alive, y'know?"
"You're something else, Sawamura," Kuroo said honestly.
"It wasn't just me." There was real affection in Daichi's smile. "Man, I'm going to miss that next year - Suga and Asahi and Kiyoko and I, all together... What about you guys?"
"My team's gonna be great next year!" Bokuto exclaimed. "Akaashi's gonna be such a good captain! He won't take any shit from anyone!"
"I suppose he'll be able to devote more mental energy to strategizing without you to deal with," Oikawa mused.
"Hey!"
"The man has a point," Kuroo said. "And doesn't Akaashi do a lot of your work for you already, anyway?"
"He's vice-captain! And he's better at writing and stuff! Plus, he likes paperwork - says it relaxes him, or something."
"That is a very valuable person to have on your team," Ushijima remarked.
Bokuto beamed. "Damn right! I'm the heart of the team, and he's the head. It works. I'm gonna miss him, though," he admitted, grin slipping off his face as quickly as it had come. "Everyone else, too. I keep thinking, like, what if they go to Nationals next year, and they win a bunch of matches without me? I'd be so proud of them, obviously, but kind of sad, too. Like they didn't need me any more."
"I wish I could say that about my team," Oikawa muttered.
All eyes suddenly turned to him.
"What?" He scowled. "If Seijoh wasn't able to beat Shiratorizawa or Karasuno with me, and Iwa-chan, and Mattsun, and Makki, then there's no way they'll be able to do it without us."
"I'm sure that's not true," Daichi said.
Oikawa tilted his chair back to stare at his ceiling. "It is, though. Our strategy will still be good, our players will still be solid, but it won't be enough. Yahaba - that's one of our second-years, a setter like me - he's good, he can lead, but he isn't confident enough. He cares too much about how other people see him."
"That's funny, coming from you," Kuroo quipped. Oikawa halfheartedly flipped him off.
"Really, though, Oikawa, I think your team will be okay," Bokuto spoke up.
Oikawa sighed. "You're just saying that to be nice."
"No, really!" Bokuto leaned in closer to his camera, an earnest expression in his golden eyes. "I don't know too much about your team, but I know you - I know that you worked really, really hard to be as good as you are. You might not have gotten to Nationals, but you made your team great. You left this - this legacy of not just working really hard, but working together, working with each other, working for each other, and I think your teammates can live up to it. They'll try to - not be like you, but do things like you. Practice like you, or think like you. Except maybe nicer."
"You sound like Iwa-chan," Oikawa replied, but there was a smile curling around his words.
"I agree with Bokuto," Daichi added. "You made Aoba Johsai terrifying, Oikawa, I'm not going to deny that - but even without you, they've got your libero, those two first-years, that wild spiker, and who knows what new first-years you'll get next year, right?"
"Right!" Oikawa pointed at Daichi - but it was hard for him to appear convincingly menacing while grinning. "Forget everything I said before. My kouhais are going to kick your kouhais' asses!"
Daichi's smile became significantly less friendly. "I wouldn't go that far."
"Alright, whatever, but when your kouhais get to Nationals - whichever of your kouhais gets to Nationals - my kouhais are gonna kick their asses!" Bokuto exclaimed, not to be outdone. He stood up in excitement, and then remembered something. "Be right back, I'm hungry."
"You're always hungry," Kuroo observed fondly.
Bokuto threw finger guns and a wink at the screen as he backed out of the camera's range. "You know it, bro."
Kuroo rested his elbows on his desk and his chin on his linked hands. "Nekoma is going to be okay next year, I think. Blood is renewable - it's not any specific player that makes us great, it's all of us together. Whoever our captain is will be able to bring the team together and let the brain function normally."
Oikawa tilted his head to one side. "You don't know who your new captain is going to be?"
Kuroo shook his head. "The coach chooses at the beginning of the new school year. Does Seijoh do it differently?"
"The old captain chooses the new leadership," Oikawa replied. "But there's usually an obvious choice."
"Karasuno's second-years vote at the end of the year," Daichi put in.
"Hey hey, guess who's back!" Bokuto arrived in his frame with snacks and a smile. "Akaashi says hi. What do Karasuno's second-years vote about?"
"It's how we choose our new captain," Daichi answered. "What about Fukurodani?"
"The team holds a meeting and comes to an agreement," said Bokuto. "It's definitely going to be Akaashi, though. Ushiwaka, how do you do it? Hey - Ushiwaka!"
Ushijima looked up, carefully setting down his mug, which he had been staring into as if it contained all the secrets of the universe.
"Yes?"
"How do you select captains at Shiratorizawa?"
"We hold a brawl," Ushijima told them. "And whichever of the second-years wins is the next captain."
There was a moment of stunned silence.
"Oh my god," whispered Kuroo.
Bokuto let out a low whistle. "That's intense , bro."
"Is that safe?" asked Daichi, concerned.
Ushijima blinked at them. "I was making a joke."
"...oh."
"Are you okay, bro?" Bokuto asked.
"I am," Ushijima said slowly, "very drunk."
Bokuto choked on his rice cracker and flew into a violent coughing fit before he managed, " What? "
"I am drunk," Ushijima repeated, a little louder.
"No, no, I heard you!"
"I cannot feel my face."
"Oh man." Kuroo leaned forward, the captaincy debate forgotten. "So you actually did get alcohol for your team's party?"
"You told me to," Ushijima pointed out, and calmly submerged his entire fist in his mug. Liquid swelled up around his hand and spilled over the lip of the mug onto his desk, and he stared at it, uncomprehending.
"Ushiwaka, are you okay?" Daichi asked over Oikawa's cackling.
"That wasn't the handle," Ushijima announced.
Kuroo hid a snicker behind his hand. "Pick your hand up, bro."
"Okay."
"Other hand."
"Okay."
"Now move it to your left, and down a bit - jeez, this is like one of those claw games - and down."
"Thank you," Ushijima said, and immediately gulped down half of the mug's contents.
"How much alcohol is very drunk, Ushiwaka?" asked Oikawa, with malice glinting in his eyes.
Ushijima gazed at the mug in his hand. "About half a bottle."
"Of sake?"
Ushiwaka shook his head. "It was called absolute, I think."
"Holy shit," Oikawa and Bokuto said in unison.
"Did you mix it with anything?" Kuroo asked him.
Ushijima tilted his head in confusion. "Why would I do that?"
"Shit, " said Kuroo in admiration. "You've been drinking straight vodka this entire time?"
Ushiwaka opened his mouth and rolled some words around in it to test its functionality before answering, "I'm not straight anything."
"Bro, you're a gift," Bokuto told him. Kuroo started snorting his awful horse-laugh. Daichi rolled his eyes, but a telltale quirk at the corner of his mouth revealed his amusement.
"Thanks," said Ushijima - and then he smiled, real and honest, brown eyes radiating warmth like a kotatsu in the middle of winter. "You are too. All of you."
Bokuto made a delighted noise. "You have a beautiful smile, bro!"
The smile grew bigger. "I'm glad I met you guys," Ushijima said. He tipped his mug up to drain the last of it down his throat. "I'm not usually very good at talking to people."
"Technically, you've barely met me and Bokuto," Kuroo pointed out.
"Wait, really?" asked Daichi.
"Bokuto and I have encountered each other at Nationals these past few years," Ushijima said, "but only briefly."
"Bro!"
"Yes, Bokuto?"
"We weren't friends yet then! We have to hang out now! Nationals doesn't count, that was ages ago."
Ushijima tilted his head slightly, then more, until his neck was craned at an uncomfortable angle and his ear was nearly touching his shoulder. "But you live very far away."
"There are trains," Kuroo suggested.
Ushijima furrowed his brow. "I cannot run as far as a train."
"You don't have to run, bro, you can take the train!"
"I could take it in a contest of sprinting," Ushijima said, "but not distance." He nodded in agreement with himself. "I am sure about that."
"No, no," Kuroo interjected, "you can ride the train. Inside it. To Tokyo."
"Oh."
"If it's on a weekend, I can come," said Daichi. "Maybe the Saturday after this? We could leave together after breakfast, and come home in time for a late dinner?"
"Yes!" Bokuto was practically glowing. "Kuroo, you can come, yeah?"
"Anything for you, bro. Ushijima, are you free then?"
"I think so," said Ushijima, "but please remind me in the morning. I am not sure how much I am drunk but it feels like."
"...Feels like...?" Daichi asked uncertainly
"Feels like," Ushijima repeated.
"...Okay. Well, I'll remind you tomorrow, it's going to be really fun - Oikawa, what are you looking at me like that for?"
"Nothing," Oikawa responded swiftly, but his sullen tone told a different story. Silence fell for a moment as the other captains stared at him curiously.
Kuroo was the first to realize, and he laughed aloud. "Of course you're invited, dumbass."
"I - shut up," grumbled Oikawa as Bokuto laughed at him. He ducked his head, but it was to no avail; his webcam still caught the corners of his pleased smile.
"Seriously, though, can we make this happen?" Bokuto asked. "Cause I haven't seen the Miyagi guys since Nationals, which is awful, and Kuroo since two days ago, which is worse."
"We could take the train to Tokyo together," Daichi said. "If Oikawa and Ushijima could stand being around each other for that long."
Ushijima frowned. "I don't want to fight with Oikawa."
"So this is the perfect opportunity!" Bokuto exclaimed. "You can talk to each other without a net between you!"
"That might be...nice," Oikawa allowed, with a slightly pained expression.
Kuroo grinned. "And I can roast Oikawa in person."
"I take it back."
"Too late. You can't un-build a bridge."
"You literally can-"
"Bokuto, what did you have in mind?" asked Daichi, interrupting the budding conflict.
"Dunno!" Bokuto didn't seem particularly bothered by the vagueness of the plan. "Get food, talk about our feelings... Maybe walk around and look for dogs-"
"I WOULD LIKE THAT," Daichi blurted.
"I know, bro, I know."
"Maybe Sawamura could see the actual Tokyo Tower," Kuroo added with a malicious grin.
Oikawa cocked his head. "As opposed to...?"
"Well-"
"You don't have to do this," Daichi cut in with a warning look.
Kuroo leered at him. "Why not? Afraid the story would get a bad... reception? "
Daichi groaned. "You say my sense of humor is awful?"
"Puns and making fun of you are the two highest forms of humor."
"Actually though!" Bokuto had perked up. "It's only, like, nine hundred yen to go up the Tower. And it's really pretty."
"I could go to the One Piece store and buy something for Tendou," Ushijima mused.
"That sounds awesome!" Bokuto beamed. "This is gonna be great. I'm so glad we made this chat."
"I am too," Kuroo agreed. "It was a great idea."
"I really have the best ideas, don't I!"
"It was my idea, you brainless feathery asshole."
Bokuto waved aside his friend's retort with a magnanimous hand, and Kuroo stuck out his tongue childishly before continuing. "You're right, though, it was a good idea. We could've gone all through high school and never really talked to each other."
"Or we could've hated each other," Daichi said. "We're fated rivals, remember?"
"We used to be."
Daichi blinked. "What?"
"We're graduating tomorrow," Kuroo reminded him. "We're never going to play with our old teams again."
That was a sobering thought, and the call fell into brief silence.
Bokuto, of course, was the one to break it, with an excited "Dude, what if we end up playing against each other in college?"
Kuroo smirked. "Then I'd still take you down."
Bokuto cracked his knuckles. "You could try."
"Ushiwaka's probably going professional, right?" Daichi cut in.
"Mm," the spiker in question agreed.
"Bro, your camera's swaying," said Kuroo.
"I think it's me," said Ushijima tranquilly.
"Oh."
"Well, for those of us who are mortals," said Oikawa with a sharp, bright smile, "we might also end up playing on the same teams." He rested his chin on his hands, a contemplative look taking over his bitter one. "Actually, that might be interesting."
"Are you sure you'd want to play on the same team as me?" Kuroo asked innocently. "Considering that you'd have to accept being the second-most-attractive player in the gym."
"I can think of a lot of reasons I wouldn't want you on my team, but that's not one of them," Oikawa shot back.
"I'd play on your team, Oikawa!" Bokuto interjected. "That way we could have Frankencaptain's face and arms, at least."
"Please don't bring that back," Kuroo groaned, and was thoroughly ignored.
"Yeah!" Oikawa smiled again at Bokuto, genuinely this time. "I think it'd be fun to set for you, Bokuto."
"Thank you!" Bokuto beamed at him. "You're really a good guy, you know that?"
"I am, aren't I," Oikawa agreed.
Kuroo made an upset noise. "Bokuto, why don't you ever tell me I'm a good guy?"
"You're a grea -"
"No he's not," Oikawa cut him off.
Kuroo made a token attempt at a distressed look, but the effect was ruined by the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Why're you so mean to me, Oikawa?"
Oikawa raised an eyebrow. "Grinch song. Star Wars spoilers. X-Files doc."
"In my defense, it's not just X Files in that doc."
Daichi frowned. "Quit antagonizing each oth-"
"No, it's fine," interrupted Kuroo, with a shit-eating grin breaking through his mock pout. "He's pretending otherwise, but he enjoys this."
Oikawa folded his arms over his chest, although the gesture came across as more petulant than intimidating. "I do not."
"It's been months, you can't pretend you don't like us." Oikawa's objection was drowned out by Kuroo's singsongy you liiiiiike us, and he made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat.
"You're five years old, I swear!"
"Well, I suppose you are spending your night with us," Daichi pointed out.
"You spent last Saturday night watching Star Wars with me," Kuroo added.
Bokuto's eyes were wide and guileless. "Bro, you like us, don't you?"
Oikawa's sulk was in full swing, but all eyes were on him now, and he couldn't deflect the question.
"I like Bokuto," he mumbled.
"I like you too, bro!"
"That doesn't count, you like everyone."
Bokuto pouted at Daichi's screen rectangle. "Aw."
"He's right, bro," Kuroo told him. "Oikawa, what about the rest of us, eh?"
"Sawamura is nice. You're..." Oikawa's mouth twisted around the words. "Tolerable."
Kuroo cackled. "I'll take it."
"I still hate Ushiwaka," Oikawa added defiantly.
"I really don't understand why," said Ushijima around another sip from his mug. "I never did anything but beat you."
"You're doing it right now - acting like it was no big deal!"
"I don't mean to," Ushijima said.
"Ugh, I know that, but-"
"Aw, c'mon, guys," Bokuto interrupted. "Isn't that all in the past now?"
Oikawa looked at him, slightly taken aback. "What do you mean?"
"You don't have to hate Ushiwaka anymore, do you?"
"Of course I do! He - he-"
"Hey, hey. Relax, even if it's just for tonight. You're never going to face each other again, you know?" Bokuto was smiling, as ever, but his eyes were oddly gentle. "You can learn to move on."
"I-" Oikawa's expression was torn halfway between anger and betrayal, and he rose half-out of his seat. "How can you say something like that! I might not have been able to beat him, but I'm not weak- "
"No, bro!" Bokuto leaned forward. "It would show that you're strong . You've got a future to fight for, you know?"
Oikawa's mouth snapped shut, and he dropped back down into his chair. His shoulders hunched infinitesimally.
"He's right," Daichi put in. "We've got no next time left to hold out for."
"Yeah," Kuroo agreed. "I'll always be most loyal to Nekoma, but next year's rivalries aren't ours anymore."
Bokuto rested his chin on his hand. "Then it's good that we made this chat. Cause otherwise we would've been so focused on winning, we wouldn't have remembered to have fun til it was too late."
Daichi nodded his agreement. "Playing volleyball is much more enjoyable like this."
"The seeds of friendship have yielded a bountiful crop," Ushijima said.
Bokuto pointed at his screen in victory. "A joke!"
"Yes," Ushijima confirmed.
Kuroo's snort and Bokuto's delighted chuckle were interrupted by a strangled noise from Oikawa's microphone.
"Oikawa?" Daichi asked.
"Bro?" Bokuto added.
"What?" Oikawa swiped furiously at his eyes, but even on their computer screens, the other captains could clearly see wetness on his cheeks. "There's nothing to see here. I'm fine. I'm totally fine."
"You're crying," Ushijima observed.
"I am not-"
"It's okay to cry," Ushijima continued. He leaned forward in his seat, staring earnestly at Oikawa's face on his screen. "You're graduating soon, leaving your friends and your team. I feel the same way."
Oikawa buried his head in his hands. "What the fuck."
Ushijima was undeterred. "I remember after we lost to Karasuno, at the practice we had afterwards, I gave all the underclassmen on the team something that I thought they could work on for the next year. And it surprised me, how much they listened to me. I don't think I was ever a very good captain. All I did was lead practice and spike in matches. But that practice - and tonight, at the party - they all said they would work hard for me. And try to get to nationals next year so that I could watch them win. And the other third years all said they would watch my matches on TV, and - oh." Ushijima looked down at his hand. "That's interesting."
"I think that's the longest I've ever heard you talk for," Kuroo said, at the same time as Bokuto asked, "What's interesting, bro?"
"My hand," Ushijima replied. "It's wet. I don't know why?" He picked it up and held it up to the camera, as though asking for expert analysis. Bokuto and Kuroo both leaned in to examine it.
"Is it vodka?" asked Kuroo.
Ushijima shook his head. "No, this is the other hand."
"Taste it?" suggested Bokuto.
Ushijima obliged. "It tastes a bit salty."
Bokuto and Kuroo exchanged a look.
"I have no idea, bro," said Kuroo.
"Me neither," added Bokuto.
Daichi, meanwhile, hadn't taken his eyes off of Oikawa.
"Hey," he said. "Oikawa. Are you okay?"
"NO!" the setter practically shouted, and the other three members of the call startled in surprise. His face emerged from behind his hands, red rims forming around his eyes. "I'm not okay! How can I be okay when I'm leaving my team - leaving Seijoh - forever? Fucking - listening to Ushiwaka talk about fucking Shiratorizawa made me think about - we never got to nationals, but everyone worked so hard, they worked so hard- " Oikawa was crying in earnest now, angrily wiping snot bubbles from his nose. "They deserved to go to nationals - I'm going to miss playing with them all so much - I'm even going to miss - fucking Ushiwaka - gave me someone to fight against -"
"Hey now," Daichi interjected. "That's nothing to be sad about - I mean that, stop hiccupping at me! High school wasn't meant to last forever, and haven't you had the time of your life while you were here?"
"I - you don't understand, Sawamura." Oikawa's face was blotching, and he sucked in a shuddery breath, staring at his hands. "Not that you're - that you're not - it's that nobody knows me like my friends do, nobody else has what we have ... Hajime and Issei and Takahiro and I, when we were first-years, we started singing together, on the bus on the way to games. And none of us can sing very well, but it was okay because we were singing together , a-and we've done that on the way to every game, as long as I can remember... And tomorrow we're going to sing one last time at graduation, and then after that..." His voice broke, and the tears started flowing anew. "There's only one more tomorrow for us! And after that, we'll never sing together again-"
"Maybe not with that attitude!" Bokuto interrupted him. Oikawa looked up to find the ace grinning at his camera. "They're only going to be gone if you let them go, right?"
"We're all going to different universities, you overly-optimistic birdbrain." There was more sadness than bite in the wavering words.
Bokuto was undeterred. "They're not going to let that stop them, you know! You've fought together and laughed together and sung together and grown together, and you never forget the people you've loved."
"...Love?" Oikawa tipped his head, slight confusion in his red eyes. "That's love?"
"Of course it's love," Bokuto declared. "You love them, and they love you, and that doesn't go away."
"They love me," Oikawa repeated, and his lips began to curve upwards.
"There's going to be new first-years that sing together," Kuroo added. "Just as there were third-years that left before you. A team isn't just the members. It's the spirit."
A tiny smile broke out across Oikawa's face. "You know, one time I was about to serve in a game, and there was a lot of pressure on me, and I was right on the edge of freaking out? And instead of telling me that they knew I could do it or that they were counting on me, they started shouting orders for the ramen they'd make me buy them if I missed." He sniffed again, but with a happier lilt in his voice as he added wistfully, "They always knew exactly what I needed."
"You've got a lot of good memories with them, huh?" There was no sarcasm in Kuroo's voice, and Oikawa gave him a real smile in return.
"This other time, I overslept and came to school with a hanger in the back of my shirt, and they called me Hanger Tooru so much that people started asking if I was half-foreign."
Bokuto choked on a laugh. "Oh my god, dude, they made you a meme?"
"I am a meme." Oikawa wiped his nose on his sleeve, looking self-satisfied.
Daichi's eyes glinted. "You could say it was a good meme -ory."
Kuroo started coughing on his own spit at the same time that Bokuto cried out, " Sawamura! "
"What?" Daichi's tone was nonchalant, but he looked absurdly pleased with himself. "I'm picking up on the hip new slang, you know. And besides, I can relate to Oikawa. I, too, was a meme once."
"You were?" Ushijima asked.
"When this chat was first made, and Kuroo and Bokuto tried to explain to me what a meme is," Daichi said. "Kuroo edited this picture of me to have the words, 'What is a meme' on it in some funny font - I printed it out, I think I have it somewhere." Daichi disappeared into his room, and the sounds of faint rumagging could be heard over video.
Kuroo chuckled. "Oh, my God, I totally forgot about that."
"I didn't." Daichi emerged, triumphant, with a picture held aloft in his hand: it was, true to his word, that same picture that Kuroo had edited the previous summer.
Bokuto started applauding, hooting in admiration. Kuroo joined in, followed by a reluctant Oikawa. Ushijima slowly thumped his (now empty) mug on the table a few times.
"Okay," said Oikawa, once the noise had died down, "but as impressive as that is, I think we can all agree that if even you're making meme jokes, we know they're dated."
"You're a dated meme," Kuroo pointed out. "Hanger Tooru was one of those fifteen-minutes-of-fame memes."
"I wish. They've been regularly making fun of me for it for months."
"I'd make fun of you for that too."
"I know, Kuroo. Oh! And another time - we were watching the Muppets Christmas Carol movie before Christmas, and Mattsun said that I reminded him of Kermit-"
He was interrupted by a snort from Bokuto, and broke into giggles. "No, seriously!"
"I see it! You look like a frog!"
"You do kind of have the same face," Daichi observed.
"You're the fourth person who's told me that!"
"I agree," Ushijima agreed.
There was a lull as Oikawa remembered, and then he spoke again. His voice was still wet, but he was smiling.
"You know... When I think about high school, it's not losing to Shiratorizawa or Karasuno that I'm going to remember. It's singing."
"I feel the same way," Daichi agreed. "Going to nationals was the best part of high school for me, but... I was never fighting against the people on the opposition's side of the net. I was fighting for all the pork buns and hard practices I've shared with the people on mine."
"Also!" Bokuto pointed a finger into the air. "We don't have to disappear completely , right?"
"That's true," said Daichi. "It's not like we're dying. We can still come back and cheer our kouhais on. Or come back and make sure our kouhais aren't killing each other."
Oikawa snuffled a little. "You're right, I can still make fun of Tobio-chan even when I'm at college."
"That is not what I meant."
"If I'm not on a rival team anymore, I can go help Hinata practice when we're not at training camps!"
"That's more like it."
"He's going to be a legend, you know." For once, Kuroo's tone was completely sincere.
"Oh, I know," Daichi assured him. "The others too - Kageyama has learned to play as part of a team, and Tsukishima's finally starting to understand why this game is worth putting your soul into, and Yamaguchi is standing taller and prouder than he was at the beginning of the year, and Yachi is so much more confident now than she was when she joined the club, and Tanaka and Nishinoya are starting to become leaders ... This team has come so far, and I'm so proud of all of them."
"Yeah, tell us again about what a good dad you are, Dadchi," Oikawa teased, still sniffling.
Daichi fixed him with a stern look, but his glare didn't have its usual terrifying force. "It's not that, it's just - I've spent so much time with all of these guys, and I've gotten to watch them grow, and figure out what they're good at, both on and off the court, and really find their places on the team... They're all so talented, and so determined, and I know they're going to keep fighting no matter what, and... Being part of Karasuno and raising of all of them with Suga, I wouldn't trade it for the world, and maybe I can't keep them under my wing forever, but I've watched them grow, and that's all I could ever ask for-"
His voice hitched on the word ever.
"Oh, shit, Sawamura, not you too!" Bokuto cried out. But it was too late - Daichi's attempts to speak were thwarted by the lump lodged in his throat, and his shoulders were shaking with silent sobs. Oikawa wailed afresh, and Bokuto's smile started to waver, like words looked at through a glass of water.
"I'm s-sorry," Daichi said, voice breaking around the words. "But I guess - I guess it's better for this to happen now than tomorrow, when I have to say goodbye to my team..."
"Saying goodbye to your team," Bokuto repeated. The ace's eyes were bright. Almost...too bright. And then, as Kuroo squinted hard at his screen, Bokuto let out a telltale sniffle and swiped at his face with his sleeve.
"Bro, why are YOU crying?!"
"P-" Bokuto hiccuped. "Peer pressure..."
"Calm down, bro," Kuroo said, leaning back in his chair.
Bokuto shook his head vehemently, and then burst out with a flood of sound. "I-it's just, after today I have to leave my team forever, you know? No more movie nights, or ramen parties before games, or contests to see who stinks the most after a hard practice, or Washio blocking, or Sarukui yelling at me when I miss a serve, or Konoha and Komi talking shit about the other team, or Akaashi sending perfect tosses and telling me to calm down and hugging me when we win and ... and ..."
"No more Fukurodani, at least - at least not your Fukurodani," Daichi finished for him.
"You're not helping," Bokuto wailed. He dropped his head down onto his desk, then let out a few muffled words that nobody else could catch.
"Bro, are you okay?" Kuroo asked, peering into his camera.
Bokuto lifted his head for a moment, just long enough to say, "Leave me be, don't talk to me," then cocooned it even more tightly in his arms.
"If you want to talk, you can," Daichi told him.
"Yeah," Kuroo added. "We won't judge you."
"We'll only judge you a little bit," Oikawa said. Kuroo shot him a look, upon which he corrected, "I mean, we won't at all."
Ushijima nodded.
Bokuto's arms let out a muffled howl.
"What did you say?" Kuroo reached out a hand, as though to rub his back through the screen.
Bokuto raised his head, revealing red-rimmed eyes and tearstained distress on his face.
"I love all of my friends so much and I don't want to leave them!"
Kuroo stared at his best friend - and something in his expression shifted, something none of the others could quite catch.
"Stay right there, Bokuto," he said quietly. And then, pointing at the other captains, "All of you keep telling sappy stories or something. I'll be back on in twenty minutes."
Kuroo closed his laptop with a snap.
"What - what is he doing?" Bokuto asked, sniffling.
"Something important," Ushijima replied.
"Okay."
"Once, in our first year, Suga, Asahi and I got really lost on a run," Daichi started suddenly.
"Sawamura, what're you doing?" Oikawa wondered.
"Kuroo said to tell sappy stories while he was gone, so that's what I'm doing," Daichi said simply. "We got really lost, and we ended up walking around the town we ended up in for two hours, asking different people if they knew how to get to Karasuno High School. By the time we finally got back, practice was already over, and the captain was so mad, he made us clean up the gym for a month afterwards - but we really bonded, I think. I actually talked to Asahi without him being terrified for the first time that day."
For a moment, the other captains looked at Daichi - staring off into the distance, as though picturing three lost first-years finding their way home together.
And then, Ushijima spoke up. "Once, Satori got our whole team to watch this really weird American movie together. It was some strange movie about a shark, or a monster, or a giant monster-shark - I honestly don't remember. I just remember learning all of these things about my teammates that I'd never known before. That Semi can throw pieces of popcorn up and catch them in his mouth, and that Reon says things like, 'There we go' when he sits down, and that Yamagata loses his phone really easily, and that Satori can talk through almost anything."
"One time, Akaashi told me I'd done really well in a game," Bokuto said.
Oikawa eyed him skeptically. "Isn't that a fairly normal occurrence?"
Bokuto shook his head. "No. And especially not this time. It was after a really hard game, and ..."
The four of them continued - stories about Bokuto coercing his team into pranking the girls' team (and getting severely punished for it), stories about Oikawa's friends teaming up to force him to stop thinking about volleyball for a week each year, stories about Shimizu helping the other Karasuno third-years not fail their classes, stories about Ushijima losing track of his entire team at tournaments because he simply moved faster than they did. The stories flowed, along with happier tears, until a sudden slamming sound echoed through the call from Bokuto's end.
Oikawa caught sight of the movement in the background of Bokuto's room, and his red-rimmed eyes widened. "Bokuto, heads up!"
Bokuto was halfway through a quizzical response when something lean and dark-haired hit him like a bullet out of hell. His chair crashed onto the floor and he soon followed - soon, only his feet were visible, mismatched socks dangling upside-down in the air like confused streamers in the living room two hours after the party ended.
Daichi was so surprised, he stopped crying for a moment to exclaim, "Holy shit, Bokuto, are you okay?"
From somewhere below the camera's range, excited noises of recognition were interspersed with Bokuto's renewed crying. After a brief scuffle, Bokuto rose from the ground and righted his chair, then sat down in it again. Kuroo unfolded himself from the ground and hopped into Bokuto's lap, snuggling up against his best friend and resting his chin on the top of Bokuto's head. Bokuto leaned into his touch, then wiped his snot on Kuroo's shirt.
"You're nasty," Kuroo told him affectionately, and planted a kiss on the top of his head.
"I am," Bokuto agreed.
Oikawa cooed at the display, and Kuroo smiled at the webcam. "I'm glad you guys cheered up a bit while I was gone."
"We told stories," Ushijima said. He was swaying from side to side in earnest now, but his voice was still relatively clear.
"I'm glad," Kuroo told him.
"How did you even get in there?" Daichi asked. Then, to Bokuto, he added, "Don't tell me you gave him a key."
"Akaashi let me in," Kuroo answered. "And I came on my moped."
"On your-" Daichi started, then stopped. "You know what? I don't even want to know."
"That's probably for the best," said the moped owner in question.
"You know what isn't for the best?" Oikawa exclaimed. "Graduation! Leaving! Having to go from seeing people you - people you love every day to only talking to them sometimes! It's fucking stupid - I want to find out who invented graduation and serve a ball right into their dumb face-"
"Come on, you don't really mean that," Daichi cut him off.
"Oh, don't I?"
"You've got a lot of life left to live, you know?" Kuroo put in. "New places, new teams, new friends to mock you mercilessly."
"Heh. I suppose that's true," Oikawa admitted.
"Besides, it's late at night right now. It'll all be better in the morning, I promise."
Oikawa gave him a watery nod, and then his eyes narrowed. "You better not be taking screenshots of me crying."
Kuroo laughed out loud at the weak threat, but his smile was genuine. "I wouldn't do that. I actually enjoy your company, you know."
Oikawa blinked a few times, then started giggling. "I like you too, you know that?"
Kuroo's mouth dropped open, and Oikawa wrapped his arms around his knees defensively at the other captain's look of incredulity. "Wh-what? You're nice sometimes..."
"I agree," put in Ushijima suddenly, with surprising lucidity in his eyes. "You care about your friends and teammates very much. You said your team is renewable, but Nekoma is going to miss you. I know I would."
He paused, giving Kuroo a moment to respond. However, the combined words of the two Miyagi captains had done the impossible: they had rendered Kuroo Tetsurou speechless.
Daichi took the opportunity to contribute. "They're right, Kuroo. You made all of Karasuno feel welcome at the camp amongst four powerhouse schools, you managed to make my most apathetic first-year fall in love with volleyball, and you connected the five of us, when otherwise we would've stayed strangers or enemies, and-"
" Guys- " Kuroo had buried his face in his hands, but the tips of his ears were bright red.
"Bro," Bokuto blurted out, "you have the sickest memes -"
That was the final straw.
A quiet sob emerged from behind Kuroo's hands - but before anyone could tease him for it, Bokuto pulled his best friend to a standing position, then wrapped him in a bear hug tight enough to squeeze his sadness away. (At least, that seemed to be the goal.)
"Bro," Kuroo gasped.
Bokuto patted his hair. "I know."
"No, bro. Bro. I can't breathe."
"Oh." Bokuto loosened his hold, but he still kept his arms wrapped around Kuroo. "Sorry."
Kuroo shook his head. "No, it's okay, it's okay." He tugged Bokuto back into their earlier position, squeezing into the too-small desk chair as though it had been built for two. Kuroo leaned into his friend, took a deep breath, then peered at the computer screen.
"Shit," he said.
"What?" Bokuto asked, rubbing circles into Kuroo's back.
"Everyone's crying."
Oikawa shook his head and pointed at his screen accusingly. "Ushiwaka's not crying."
"That's true," Kuroo agreed. "He isn't."
"He should be," Oikawa said.
"Ushiwaka, why aren't you crying?" Bokuto demanded.
"What?" Ushiwaka wondered. He looked at each other captain in turn, confused. "But I am."
"You're what?"
"Crying. I have been for a while." Ushijima moved his camera in closer, so that the redness around his eyes was clearly visible.
"Huh," Oikawa said in a small voice. "I guess the stone giant does have feelings after all."
Ushijima peered at him, red eyes less threatening now than any of the other captains had ever seen them. "Of course I do. I feel sad that I'm graduating and leaving my team. What was it Bokuto said earlier?" He paused, thinking, then said, "I love all of my friends so much, and I don't want to leave them. That was it."
The quiet, plain admission of truth from the most honest amongst them broke something in the group of captains. Daichi's shoulders started shaking again, and he reached out of the frame for a hankerchief, blowing his nose with a honk, then continued to drip tears and snot onto his desk. Oikawa pressed his head against his knees, sucking in shuddery breaths as he cried quietly. In their desk chair, Bokuto wrapped his arms around Kuroo's waist and cried against his shoulder, and Kuroo nestled closer to his best friend and let his tears drip down onto the top of Bokuto's ridiculous hair. And Ushijima just closed his eyes and let hot, salty tears squeeze themselves from the corners of his eyelids and splash freely down his cheeks.
It was strange - even though they were sitting in four different rooms in four different cities, something - the talking, or the crying, or the stories they'd told each other - made them feel as though they were all in the same place. As though the distance between captain and captain, team and team, person and person was shrinking - or perhaps it had never existed to begin with.
"So, we can all agree to never speak of this again?" Kuroo finally broke the silence, voice shaky. Ushijima's deep chuckle rumbled amongst the instant chorus of vehement agreement.
"Imagine if our teams saw their captains sobbing on a Skype call the night before graduation," said Oikawa, laughing a little.
"We're not their captains anymore," Daichi reminded him. He was met with distressed protests.
"Sawamura, you're making it worse!" Oikawa cried.
"No, it's okay, it's okay," interrupted Kuroo. "Cause you know what?"
"What?" Bokuto asked, face pressed into his friend's shoulder.
"Even if we leave our teams, we'll still be with them in spirit," Kuroo said, very seriously. "Our hearts will stay with them."
Bokuto gasped. "Bro - you don't mean -"
Kuroo nodded. "I do."
"What's going on?" Daichi asked.
Bokuto looked at Kuroo. "Should we show them?"
"I think we should show them."
"Show us what?" Oikawa demanded.
Kuroo fiddled with his phone for a second, then held it up to his camera. It was open to a video on Youtube. Smirking like a tearful Cheshire cat, he pressed play.
A distinctive recorder melody soon filled the air, followed by several groans.
"Do we really have to go through this again? " Oikawa wondered, staring up at his ceiling as though it could provide him with answers.
"Again?" Bokuto asked. "We haven't shown you this before."
"You definitely have," Daichi argued. "It was right after the Tokyo prefecture prelims."
"Oh." Bokuto's face fell.
"Not a problem," Kuroo cut in smoothly. "You can never listen to this beauty too many times."
Oikawa shook his head. "You absolutely can. Once was too much."
"Just shut it off, bro," Bokuto mumbled dejectedly.
"Wait," Ushijima said.
Everyone turned to look at him.
"Yeah?" Kuroo asked.
"I haven't heard this before. I want to listen."
Ushijima was a hard guy to argue with, so Kuroo played the whole video, in solemn silence except for occasional fits of giggles from Kuroo and Bokuto, a couple of bemused chuckles from Daichi, and exasperated groans from Oikawa. As the final strains of out-of-tune recorder faded into nothingness, Ushijima stared at his screen very intently.
"That was an excellent cover," he announced. "Great performance. Very musical. Ten stars."
And he promptly fell asleep on top of his desk.
"Oh no," Bokuto cried, "we killed him!"
Kuroo patted his head. "No, bro, he just passed out. He drank a lot of alcohol, you know."
"It's also..." Daichi checked his computer's clock. "Oh, it's two o'clock in the morning."
"Shit," said Kuroo, "that's late."
"We have to graduate in seven hours," announced Bokuto.
"Seven hours until the rest of our lives," Kuroo said pensively.
"Don't you start the waterworks again," Daichi warned him.
"I'm really tired." Oikawa's mouth twisted. "I hate feeling legitimate emotions, it's so exhausting."
"You should get to bed," Daichi told him, fatherly as always. For once, Oikawa was too sleepy to argue.
"You can stay over, right, bro?" Bokuto asked Kuroo's shoulder, and Kuroo nodded. "Then we're going to get to sleep. I wanna be awake for my own graduation."
"Alright." Daichi stretched his arms above his head, yawning hugely. "I'll go to sleep too, then."
"Goodnight, Sawamura," Kuroo said, leaning back against Bokuto.
"Mmhmm. Good luck with your ceremonies, guys."
"You too, bro!"
"Try not to cry too much," Oikawa added.
"Hypocrite," Kuroo said cheerfully.
"True," Oikawa admitted. "Goodnight, guys."
Call ended, duration 3:01:21.
2:14 A.M.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: This is a message for Ushijima tomorrow morning, reminding him that we're going to Tokyo the weekend after this one.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: And... For everyone, actually.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I'm not sure how many of you are still awake, but I just want to say that I'm really grateful for this chat.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I've learned a lot from all of you, and not just about volleyball. I'm glad we're friends.
HOOT HOOT: SAWAMURAAAAAAAAAAA
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Actually, you can call me Daichi.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Half of my team already does.
HOOT HOOT: DAIIIIICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
HOOT HOOT: I LOVE U
HOOT HOOT: ALL OF U
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Love you too, Bokuto.
ur favorite lolcat: <3
perfectkawa ✌: ew
HOOT HOOT: I LOVE OIKAWA ESPECIALLY
HOOT HOOT: W ALL MY HEART
perfectkawa ✌: ughhhhh
HOOT HOOT: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
perfectkawa ✌: i love you too, you damn fruitcake
perfectkawa ✌: although i would like to state for the record that none of you can call me tooru
perfectkawa ✌: ever
ur favorite lolcat: see you in two weeks, tooru-kun
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Goodnight, you children.
HOOT HOOT: GNIGHT DAD
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: I'm not-
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Ah, whatever.
Mr. Sugawara Daichi: Goodnight.
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