6
hoseok could care less if he's speeding (although, he does make sure to follow the limit) he's just ecstatic, excited to drive back home so that he can bury his head in his pillow and screams.
it's exactly what he does, dumping namjoon on the floor and throwing himself on the bed, rolling back and forth repeatedly as he emits squeals of enthusiasm. because wow, wow, wow did that really happen? did a tipsy min yoongi just? kiss his cheek? biting his lip, hoseok carefully lifts his hand up and tenderly touches his cheek, before bursting in an ugly fit of giggles.
"can you shut the fuck up?" namjoon slurs with a loud groan, curling up inside of himself.
he's tempted to text yoongi and say something, but refrains from doing so, instead, clutching his cheek with a cheesy smile. yoongi kissed his cheek, it must mean something, maybe that yoongi likes him, or ha a crush on him, or has hidden feels that he's too shy to consider, or, or—
yelping loudly, hoseok smothers his face with a pillow and wriggles around on the bed once more.
》》
cactus boy
: ) morning sunshine
how are you??
death.
you were kind of wild last night ;)
shhh.
do you remember anything???
to be honest...no...i don't think i did anything major anyways, so there's nothing to freak out about.
that means...yoongi doesn't remember the kiss...which means...hoseok knows that maybe? perhaps yoongi likes him back (hopefully), while yoongi is completely unaware of it? hoseok's not sure. if anything, maybe the kiss didn't mean anything, maybe he was just a little touchy-feely and hoseok was the closest thing, maybe—
"are you okay?"
"huh?" his eyes flicker upwards, to face a—HOLY FUCK WHY IS—"y-yoongi?" HOVERING OVER HIM—
"get with the program, hoseok," jimin scrunches his nose, placing the notebook over his face as he lies down across the grass. "didn't i tell you earlier that yoongi and jeongguk are apart of bangtan squad now? that means hanging out in the quad, duh."
"aren't you supposed to be studying?" yoongi cocks his head to the side, taking a seat next to hoseok.
(hoseok hates how his eyes trail over to focus on yoongi's lips instead of his face. he feels like a pervert, but he can't stop thinking about the cheek kiss.)
"listen," jimin starts off, voice muffled from beneath. "s'called diffusion. i absorb the information through the cover."
taehyung snorts in response, muttering something about "this is why you major in bullshit", which draws out a screech from jimin as he blindly kicks the latter.
"dumbass," jeongguk giggles in perfect, unaccented english, and it causes jimin to rip the textbook off his face and stare at him in astonishment.
"did namjoon really do that?"
(cue: smug look from namjoon that impresses no one.)
face crinkling up in disgust, hoseok diverts his attention back on yoongi, who's tucked his legs in and rocks himself back and forth as he listens attentively. he bites his lip to hide a smile, face dipping further into his knees, and hoseok swears that he practically swooned on the spot. unfortunately, his min yoongi time is cut short by a smack on his head. hoseok yelps loudly, turning around to face a looming seokjin. oh. namjoon hurriedly scoots off of the blanket, pushing jeongguk off to make space for seokjin. jeongguk glares at him, clearly offended.
"hello, my sunshine children," he drawls out lazily, seating himself between hoseok and namjoon. seokjin leans in closer to hoseok, muttering lowly, "if i catch you staring one more time, i'm gonna gut you like salmon."
mouth dropping open, he leans back into seokjin, hissing quietly, "what are you talking about?"
"you were staring. at his lips," seokjin forces out between gritted teeth. "doesn't take a genius to figure out you're thinking about ungodly things."
lips...lips....oh. oh fuck, no, hoseok swears that he only has pure thoughts about yoongi's lips. it's the cheek kiss, he wants to wail, not— sucking dick or anything. "listen, it's purely safe-for-work, platonic—"
"please, hoseok, i'm a grown man. i know what you're thinking when you stare intensely at someone's lips, and i'm warning you—"
"what are you two all hush hush about?" jimin arches an eyebrow, eyes squinting from over the edge of his book. "spill the secrets, seok square."
namjoon glances at the two of them, and hoseok sends him a small "s.o.s" look. it takes a few seconds for him to receive the signal, a roll of his eyes responding to it, before he clears his throat and cuts in. "was that supposed to be a combo of their names? because that was a highly unseok-cessful attempt."
he tries to play it cool, but hoseok kind of wants to throw up (and snicker) at him blushing, while seokjin has pure astonishment painted across his face.
"i have to go." jeongguk says in seriousness, with jimin and taehyung nodding their heads curtly. the three stalk off, leaving a bashful namjoon, an amazed seokjin who gushes about how he "never thought of that" and why namjoon "has an iq of 148", an oddly silent yoongi who practically radiates awkwardness, and hoseok.
clearing his throat as seokjin continues to gush, and namjoon continues to smile like an idiot, hoseok nudges yoongi's sides. "wanna...go somewhere else?"
the mint boy's head turns as he nods, flashing hoseok a small smile.
they quickly collect their things and leave, yoongi's head turning back every once or so to look back at the two of them. "does...namjoon...like him?"
and because hoseok is an unloyal hoe, he tells yoongi namjoon's secret anyways. "yeah..for like...a year now..."
yoongi stops in his tracks, mouth agape. "it's been that long? how does seokjin not know?"
"he's dense as fuck."
"how do you even have a crush on someone for that long," yoongi breathes, and hoseok kind of wants to object and go: exhibit a, jung hoseok, but he probably shouldn't, because that's not a cute way to tell someone you like them, and hoseok wants to make it perfect.
"i've been trying to get him to confess to seokjin, but he's kind of a wimp, scared that he's gonna ruin their friendship or something."
the older male hums thoughtfully in response, fingers tightening over his textbook. "you know, i think namjoon's the only person he's comfortable around. i think seokjin likes him, he just doesn't realize it 'cause...well, there's nothing that really changes their relationship."
it's like. a revelation. "seokjin likes namjoon?"
yoongi holds up his hands in a cross over his chest. "it's a theory! listen, i'm just saying—we all know seokjin's a serial dater, right? he used to be really authentic, and then he met this guy training for the olympics, and they hit it off pretty well—until seokjin felt like he wasn't good enough, and eventually he broke it off, and now he just plays hard to get and fakes himself in every blind date to look good, but i think. i think he's really comfortable and himself with joon, and—yeah. i think he likes joon." he trails off in a small voice, rubbing the nape of his neck.
"well, that's settled. we need to get them together."
"what—"
"operation namjin: you in?" hoseok holds out his hand, wiggling his eyebrows.
blinking repeatedly, yoongi stares at hoseok's hand, before leaning forward to tuck his textbook in between his chin and chest, stretching out his fingers to shake hoseok's hand. "...operation namjin. got it."
》》
cactus boy
so...
why can't we let maknae line know about operation namjin again?
because they're untrustworthy
and taehyung is a spy for seokjin
what.
no one can know about operation seokjin besides us ok!!
..okay, then.
let's get them on a date.
...how would that happen?
...uh...we can have a double date kind of thing?
who's the second
with them and. us.
pairing.
oh.
WE CAN FAKE IT THO
(at this point, hoseok will honestly say that he has no idea what the fuck he's typing.)
like...we can sit together and they can sit together
and like encourage them to talk
together and
yeah
set them up and make them realize
OH WE LIKE EACH OTHER
that's|
what i meant
that sounds easy enough.
yeah!!! you know seokjin well
and i know joon well
so we can!! set it up!! that way!!
alright. restaurant or cafe?
cafe across from your apartment?
works out. let's aim for...this friday?
gotcha. i'll text back with a time.
operation namjin! : ]
》》
"are you sure this is going to work—"
"are you sure—"
"hoseok, i don't think i can do this—"
"oh my god, how do i look? okay?"
"you're literally just on a friendly hangout session with yoongi and seokjin. and me." hoseok stares at him, throwing on his adidas jacket.
namjoon's eyes travel back and forth between his yellow hoodie and a jean jacket, repeatedly pressing them against his chest as he peers into the mirror. "it's not the same!" he shrieks, putting on the yellow hoodie. "you're setting me up!"
if anything, hoseok should be the nervous one, since he accidentally blurted out stupid shit about fake dating. yoongi hasn't shown any signs that he likes hoseok, which is odd, and maybe hoseok is just misreading the kiss against making a big deal out of nothing. which is bad, because maybe yoongi isn't his true soulmate and he's blindly pretending like yoongi is his prince charming when he should be redirecting his efforts elsewhere to prevent himself from a further heartbreak. he would, usually discuss his troubles with namjoon, but the idiot is busy freaking out between a yellow sweater and a jean jacket, along with a couple hundred of others things, so really, hoseok can do nothing but wallow in despair.
sighing, he turns to shoot back a crass remark, only to find himself stifling laughing as namjoon slides the jean jacket over his yellow hoodie, making him look like an oversized-puffball-pastel-fuckboy, if that's a thing.
"does this make me look fat?" namjoon chews on his lip anxiously, and even if hoseok wants to be that asshole friend that makes fun of namjoon, he can't.
cactus boy
phase one is in action.
pink lemonade is being delivered to the cafe in ten minutes.
almost done over here!
palm tree will be shipped over in twenty minutes.
(hoseok will admit...that the code names are little obvious...and lame...)
"you look fine, now come on, we'll be late." hoseok grumbles, grabbing his keys and wallet as he hurries out. namjoon, being the ever slow sloth, lags behind, checking himself in all the reflections he can find. hoseok thinks he's more extra, but then again, he's probably just nervous.
cactus boy
pink lemonade is inside.
we're ordering.
we're on the bus!
palm tree is fidgeting a lot.
i'll try to stall.
and pry more info.
wow, you go, yoongs.
"yoongs". that's so lame!!
whatever you say, yoongs. ;)
and call hoseok whipped, but all he can think about was how yoongi used two exclamation marks. not one, but two. he kind of feels like a little kid with a crush on a third grader or something, marveling over the smallest details. next to him, namjoon shuffles anxiously.
hoseok and yoongi's met a couple of time prior to the meeting in order to time things perfectly, so by the time seokjin and yoongi receive their food, namjoon and him should..
commence phase two.
palm tree is being pushed into the building.
gotcha.
"keep cool," hoseok nudges at namjoon, who looks like he wants to melt down into the ground and be one with earth. he spots the other two sitting across each other by the window, coolly sipping drinks. clearing his throat, hoseok drags namjoon along with him, sauntering over. "oh, hey, i didn't know you guys would be here! mind if we join..?" hoseok drawls out with a small smile.
seokjin brightens immediately, scooting over. "of course! we're both not busy; let's hang out for a bit, if you two aren't either."
"we aren't," namjoon pipes up, his voice cracking on impact. he stands frozen on the spot, red blooming over his cheeks as a morbid expression crosses his face. yoongi arches an eyebrow, and hoseok, being the good best friend, hooks his arms around namjoon and tugs them backwards.
"we'll get some drinks," he offers out lamely, before hauling a heavy namjoon up front. "dude, what the hell—"
"i can't do this," namjoon whispers, eyebrows crinkled together. "i—this feels so weird, it's like a real date, but it's fake, and i don't know if i should take it real or fake," he half-wails.
"i'll get an americano—you'll be fine, just treat this as a normal outing with seokjin, and let us do all the work," hoseok coos. "be natural and be your normal dumb, dorky self."
"how can i be myself—one iced caramel mocha—when i don't know who i really am?"
hoseok inhales sharply. "just. treat this like seokjin 101, or like, treat it like a puzzle. find your way to stealthily charm him or some shit—you're good at calculus, right? okay so. pretend like seokjin's some derivative shit. i don't know."
"thanks hoseok, that helps so much," namjoon snorts, rolling his eyebrows as he tugs out his wallet. he's certainly more relaxed, thankfully, and hoseok decides that namjoon is the true representation of a loveless nerd, who calms down by talking about calculus. so hoseok continues to compare seokjin to calculus, telling namjoon to derive seokjin's likes and ideals out, and integrate himself into it, while still remaining inside his limits. with every spout of bullshit as they wait for their drinks, namjoon cringes and stops freaking out, until he's finally a sane human being again.
they walk back to the table, with hoseok sliding next to yoongi, and namjoon settling himself besides seokjin, and it amuses hoseok how much the scenario reflects themselves.
there's kim seokjin, in his baby pink sweater with the words "chick flick" printed in block letters, sipping a vanilla ice blended coffee. he's munching on a chocolate brioche happily, oblivious of the event around him, popping a piece into namjoon's gaping mouth.
yoongi sits across from him, teeth nipping the straw of his iced coffee. there's a bored look in his eyes as he leans back, arms crossed over his beige cardigan. calm, collected—the world could fall apart and he could still be sitting there nonchalantly.
namjoon sweats hard, and hoseok wonders if it's because he's nervous, or because he's wearing three layers in order to impress seokjin's fashionista side. either way, hoseok thinks he's kind of dorky, with his oversized yellow hoodie under the jean jacket, taking timid sips of his caramel mocha.
and of course, there's hoseok, in his white adidas track jacket, leaning backwards with an americano in his hand. trying to be as cool as yoongi, when really, he's a little bit of a nervous wreck because yoongi looks so good, and he's afraid of messing up this moment.
"we were talking about cute guys," yoongi hums out, eyes still staring out the window. "seen any around campus?"
y o u, hoseok wants to scream.
"i don't know, i think my luck with dating has run out," seokjin sighs, lips pursed together. "i think my med school life is turning people off."
"you're just stressed," namjoon interjects, staring at seokjin like he's the sun and stars.
the eldest snorts, stuffing bread into his mouth. "that's one thing, but being unable to find a nice guy and going on nice dates with them is another. it's been. like a year," he bemoans, slumping back against the seats.
"is olympic guy still on your mind?" yoongi teases lightly, biting his straw as he smiles. wow, he's so cute, hoseok feels attacked, and this is not okay.
seokjin scrunches his nose. "no, i burned the jacket. i'm over him, i swear."
"then are you interested in anyone...new?" hoseok throws out, and he has to hide a laugh as he watches the other two pretend to not care.
"not really—"
"which is a code word for sorta, since you didn't say 'no' straight up. who's the lucky guy that captured your interest, hyung?" yoongi cuts him off, and it's so smooth it leaves the rest of them speechless.
a pause of silence. "it's just some guy, that's all, it's nothing big or anything—it's a long shot." he finishes after a slight ramble. "i—he's just nice and i think i'd wanna try dating him, but i'm cool with not dating him too, you get me? no hard feelings if he's into someone else."
yoongi shifts his eyes towards hoseok, and hoseok has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning. "this is new; who's it, hyung? we gotta search him up and approve of him. play matchmaker."
(it's namjoon, hoseok's 99% sure of it. bangtan squad usually vows to tell each other of their crushes, to ensure that the guy in interest isn't an asshole or a snake of some sort. seokjin usually announces who his new boyfriend is fairly quickly and confidently; the fact that he's hesitating means it's someone they know well.
aka. kim namjoon.)
namjoon is practically a statue, a confused look of hope and confusion plastered on his quiet self.
"why is this about me?" seokjin narrows his eyes squinting at hoseok. "are you into someone?"
mint-haired boy peers at him in curiosity.
(seokjin used trap! hoseok panics!!! hoseok telepathically signals namjoon for help! seokjin places a spell on namjoon! namjoon is stunned!)
oh my god, he's fucking useless.
"you're avoiding the question," yoongi quips, eyebrow raised.
(yoongi used counter-attack! seokjin and hoseok are stunned!)
there's like, a halo around yoongi's head as he stares seokjin down, and hoseok may or may not be internally somersaulting and cartwheeling in glee.
"i came here for a good time, and i'm getting attacked," seokjin stands up abruptly, huffing loudly. the movement startles namjoon who snaps awake from his trance. "i'm leaving! stop pestering me!" he snaps before stuffing the rest of his brioche in his mouth, picking up his coffee and wiggling his way out.
hoseok watches him cross the street, wincing as he aggressively tears into his bread, before stalking off back to his apartment.
"...what just happened?"
yoongi turns his head to meet hoseok's eyes, a small smirk curling upon his lips. hoseok, half dying, half swooning, mirrors it back.
》》
so it's settled. namjoon likes seokjin, seokjin likes namjoon. it's settled, and now all namjoon has to do is step up his game and ask. simple as that.
only, it takes namjoon ten years for the truth to sink in, and hoseok realizes namjin isn't going to ship anytime soon. but hey, their efforts were a success, and that's all that matters the most. to celebrate, he and yoongi have decided to go out and eat—nothing fancy, just at a nice restaurant. so here he stands, a week later, awkwardly rocking back and forth on his heels as he waits to yoongi to open the door.
"i'm going!" comes the loud yell, which hoseok assumes is yoongi. the door opens, mint hair hidden beneath a black beanie. a black crewneck hugs his frame, and for once, he doesn't have sweater paw, enabling hoseok to see his hands. for some reason, whatever new accessory that yoongi wears makes hoseok's heart thud twice and loud as usual, and so he can only stand there and grin stupidly as he lets the image of yoongi in his ethereal cuteness imprint his mind.
a minute later, hoseok realizes he's staring and flushes lightly, clearing his throat. yoongi, seemingly in his own little trance, also blinks back into reality, and hoseok swears that he can see a tint of pink on his cheeks. "should we, uh, go?"
"y-yeah, let's," yoongi mumbles, and oh my god, min yoongi stuttered.
(hoseok wonders if it's because he looks so cool and suave, that it left yoongi all shook and shit. transformation tuesday; here hoseok is, powder blue dress shirt and jeans, straight out from an ecology presentation.)
they sit in their usual bus seats, with yoongi by the window, and this time, hoseok sits next to him. they talk, small talk, and yoongi rants about how stressed he is about his reports, and how senior year makes him want to sleep forever. hoseok merely nods, sympathizing with yoongi even if yoongi literally talks in another language (binary?).
the bus drops them off in front of a nice restaurant, and they step in, and noooooooo. nooooooooooooooooooooooo.
taehyung opens his mouth to say something, eyes brightening at the sight of them. "ooh, what's this? a date? without seokjin knowing? how scandalous."
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
"this—no—" yoongi interjects quickly, and it kind of hurts hearing how fast he tried to shoot taehyung down. "just gonna go eat; i didn't know you work here, tae."
"yeah, i thought you worked on weekends," hoseok snips. (little fucker told him that he only worked on weekends, 8-6.)
taehyung smiles, an arm waving forward. "lemme take you to your seats—i'm supposed to work on weekends, but a coworker called in sick, so i have to take her place. any problem with that, hyung?"
it's a problem, considering hoseok wanted a cute friendly pre-date with yoongi, but now this lump called taehyung is going to cling onto his sides.
"no, of course not," he smiles; when yoongi turns around to look at the scenery, hoseok draws his hands over his neck, giving taehyung the evil eye. the younger only grins smugly, winking as he stops in front of an empty table. "for you both; any drinks?"
"iced water, for now," yoongi replies quietly, as hoseok nods repeatedly.
"two iced waters it is; i'll be back!" taehyung chirps, spinning around and walking off.
and hoseok knows that stooping to these measures are low, and that it's kind of hypocritical for encouraging this, but desperate times call for desperate measures:
jiman
i didn't know tae works on weekdays
he doesnt
oh bc i passed by and saw him working in the restaurant
WHAT
I TOLD HIM NOT TO TAKE EXTRA SHIFTS
HE'S STRUGGLING ENOUGH IN ORGANIC CHEM WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO HIMSELF
ISTG IM GONNA MARCH OVER AND YELL
haha you do that, mins.
UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
y i k e s.
they settle across from other rather comfortably, and it's a little like their "double date" all over again. hoseok trying to keep his cool when he's freaking out inside, because wow, eating pasta with min yoongi inside of a relatively nice restaurant is surreal—it feels like an upgrade. he wants to order champagne, but maybe that's a little too much, or something.
"champagne?"
yoongi widens his eyes, head shaking feverishly. "i—my alcohol tolerance is terrible. you can have some, if you want—"
he's so cute. hoseok sighs dreamily. "it's fine, my tolerance is pretty bad, too."
"even my alcohol tolerance is better," comes the snide voice, and hoseok has to restrain himself from shaking taehyung for being so tactless. "what would my two dear friends like to order?"
"what's good, kim tae?" hoseok glowers.
"i really like shrimp florentine, or chicken carbonara. seokjin really likes the fettuccine supremo, and jimin likes stuffed shells," taehyung hums out, flipping the menu back and forth and pointing out the individual items.
"i'll get...the supremo.." yoongi mumbles, before his eyes peek up from the menu to look at hoseok.
"fettuccine alfredo."
"one supremo, and one basic bitch," taehyung winks with a smug smile, sauntering off.
hoseok gapes, cheeks flaming as yoongi props his arm on the table, trying to hide his laughter behind his hand. fucking kim taehyung. "i swear, he's the devil reincarnated."
"alfredo's good, i eat it all the time," yoongi hums out with a sliver of a smile. "i would've gotten it too, don't worry."
"alfredo's my go-to, actually."
"really? yoongi tilts his head, the beanie falling off. godgodgodhe'ssoadorable. "i like trying out new foods all the time, so i don't have a specific 'go-to'."
"i didn't pin you for a foodie—"
"well..." the older male trails off, before flashing hoseok a shy grin. "the more you know?" and he spreads his hands apart in the motion of a rainbow, and wow, hoseok's heart is about to fall out of his chest or something. he laughs awkwardly, and hoseok does the same, leaning into the table with a small sigh because wow god he's so.
"let's snap the others," hoseok brightens his gaze, pulling out his phone.
"snap...?"
"snapchat, yoongs."
"yoongs sounds so meme-y." yoongi snorts.
"taehyung calls you yoongo. yoongs at least sounds cute."
"jung hoseok, giving me a cute nickname? i'm flattered," he hums out smoothly, and hoseok freezes on the spot because wow, jung hoseok, you are so not subtle.
"you should give me one in return," he jokes quietly, hoping the play it off as he pulls out his phone and opens the app. holding out the phone, he motions yoongi to come closer, and the mint-haired boy leans in so close to him that he can smell the faint fragrance of seokjin's signature strawberry cake.
hoseok swipes through the filters, with yoongi playfully scrunching his face at the distorted ones, and hoseok opening his mouth for the dog filters.
"you look pretty," yoongi comments when he swipes to a filter with a wig and makeup, and hoseok doesn't like. blush or anything. (that's the filter, he swears.)
"total girlfriend material," he nudges yoongi playfully, pretending to strike a pose. yoongi immediately taps on the capture button, and with a wicked grin, he steals the phone hoseok. with a loud yelp, he leans over to grab back his phone as yoongi shrinks back into his seat, finger idly moving around on his screen.
"oh my god, hyung, no— "
"too late!" he singsongs, slumping further down in his seat as hoseok shrieks loudly. people are looking at him, but at this point, he could care less; what matters more is yoongi and his phone and how namjoon might send a message with the words how's it going with yoongi? ;) and yoongi will go ??? and hoseok will have trouble explaining the fact that he told namjoon he was going on a pre-date with yoongi and it'll confused the poor boy and c h a o s .
eyes narrowing, hoseok stands up and leans over the table in an intimidating fashion.
(his torso is too short, so he has to stop and kind of kneel on the seats instead, giving himself more leverage to lean over the table.)
palms flat on top, he's hovering over the older male, hands sweaty as he tries to be all scary and serious and shit. "min yoongi—"
"it's yoongi hyung." mint-haired boy snickers. jesus, what a buzzkill.
"...yoongi hyung...give it back."
the shorter male is slumped underneath him, and his smile is hidden behind the phone, eyes twinkling with mischief, and no matter how hard hoseok wants to play it tough, he's starting to feel like putty and he's so weak by how endearing yoongi can get. they're so close, that hoseok just wants to cup his cheeks and kiss him hard until he runs out of oxygen and collapses from dizziness, and he just wants to stare at yoongi can call him cute along with a list of other synonyms. hoseok wants to take him out to multiple dates to see him crinkle his eyes and laugh, to nudge his shoulders and share soft laughter together, to kind of hold hands with him and just walk around late at night making fun of namjin. he wants to do it so bad, and maybe he could, maybe yoongi likes him and maybe he should just go for it, let his guard down and whisper "i really fucking like you".
yoongi himself is no longer laughing, only looking at hoseok with an ambiguous intensity, and he doesn't know if it's interest, or curiosity, or if he's weirded out by this whole proximity. but his cheeks are slowly getting pinker, and his eyelashes flutter, not really all the way, but midway so that he never really closes his eyes but still remains staring at hoseok through a half-lidded gaze. and maybe here's the time, hoseok thinks, where he can just lean over and—
"wow, sexual tension. should i put these away while you both enjoy dinner elsewhere?"
hoseok scrambles back into his seat, while yoongi coughs quietly, looking down. taehyung flashes hoseok a shit-eating grin as he places the plates down. "nothing was happening—"
"it's okay, i'll come back later, or something. have fun on your date!"
"it's not—" yoongi and hoseok
say at the same time. "—a date."
god fucking damn fucking kim taehyung, he's probably working for seokjin and gets rewarded with cake for cockblocking them. hoseok fumes violently. just wait, kim tae, when park jimin comes, your time is up.
yoongi is visibly flushed, shoving pasta into his mouth. hoseok lowkey swoons.
starting small talk after so much tension is kind of hard, but hoseok finds out that yoongi is a little more willing to put effort into their conversation than before, so he's pretty thankful for it. finals are coming up, so they share their dreary sentiments, which launches their conversation about dumb classmates and clubs.
"is that...jimin?"
hoseok turns, and he watches as a bright mop of orange hair zips through the sea of brown and black, settling itself in a chair alone. he crosses his arms and glares at taehyung, who hurries over with a small grimace. catching hoseok's gaze, he narrows his eyes, sticking out his middle finger from behind the menu. "huh. that's unexpected."
"i always thought they had a thing for one another." yoongi comments thoughtfully, twirling his fork around the pasta.
...oh...oh no..."you...do?"
"yeah," yoongi hums out, chewing on his bottom lip. "i have this really good sixth sense for finding out who likes who." (hoseok wonders if he knows that he likes yoongi.) "so..i'm pretty sure they have a thing for each other or something."
it would make sense why he caught them making out with one another. "oh man, well sucks to be them, because they can't be together."
yoongi frowns. "what? why?"
"because we banned it." taehyung nudges jimin playfully, giving him puppy eyes, and it cracks a smile from jimin.
"what do you mean banned? you can't just ban two people from dating each other." jimin props his arm on the table and gazes at taehyung.
"you...haven't heard of the jitae devil twins origin?"
"..no—"
"oh man, okay. story time:
so like, in 1995, there was this kid named kim taehyung. he was born in daegu but he moved houses a lot.
"i'm from daegu."
"you are? oh my god. that. holy shit really?"
"yeah, but my accent only comes out when i'm really stressed or tired. or drunk."
"that's cute; gwangju baby right here."
"oh, that's like...two hours away. woah."
anyways, so yeah. taehyung moved from place to place until his parents finally settled in busan, when he was in secondary school. so then taehyung met jimin, and the two of them hit it off pretty well and became fast best friends for like, a thousand years or something.
in high school, they were known as the jitae twins and i don't know, they were super iconic or something i never met them until sophomore year. so then in the summer of their second year of high school, one started liking the other, and it was all weird and shit i don't know the details and i don't want to know. but anyways, that summer, they got together. like legit dating and boyfriends and all.
"so like, childhood best friends to lovers?"
"basically."
"oh my god, that's..they're not together anymore though.."
"i'm not finished, it's really long, okay, hold on."
and so throughout junior year they were like, couple goals, and everyone thought they were cute and shit. but then they got into an argument and a few more and—jimin said it was kind of petty but he wouldn't tell me what it was, so they broke up the following summer and legit just hated each other. refused to talk to each other and acknowledge each other's existence. it was apparently really ugly and intense.
"yikes."
so they took their entrance exams and shit, and applied to separate schools and all, without telling each other, and basically went through senior year without talking each other. and guess what—they accepted the same school!! and guess what happened after that? their dorms were right across from each other!! while they still hated each other!!
"this honestly sounds like a comedy sketch."
so basically their roommates were all awkward because every time the doors opened and they saw each other, it was like world war three all over again, and the tension was so thick that you could feel it from down the hall, and we could feel it too, because i became friends with jimin and taehyung became friends with seokjin, and when we invited them both into our group, it was so ugly and awkward. so one day, literally everyone was sick of them, so their roommates locked them in a room and forced them to talk and. no one knows what happened, but 24 hours later, they're best friends like nothing's ever happened, and since then, they've stuck like glue. anyways, that's why they're forbidden to date."
and it's then that hoseok realizes yoongi is no longer listening; yoongi is in fact, propping his arm on the table, cheek smushed against his palm as he blinks dreamily at hoseok, the fork still standing in his pasta. he's not sure if yoongi's super entranced by his story, bored, or interested in his face, but he swears that it's the second time within the hour that his heart pounds at 500 kph and that he wants to really, really kiss yoongi sometime soon.
》》
cactus boy
dinner was really fun
we should do that ore often :D
yeah, we should!
i learned a lot.
bangtan 101 with professor jung. ;)
that sounds kind of lame, but i'd take it anyways.
aha, is that so? how does class next wednesday sound?
...that'd. that'd be nice.
: )
》》
things kind of go weird after that. hoseok messages him multiple times, but yoongi takes hours, or even days to respond. he's not sure if it's because yoongi feels weirded out by their pasta predate, or if he's just wearing himself out from finals, but either way, it's kind of...disheartening. even kim seokjin, who's the busiest of them all, still goes out with namjoon every couple of days, and namjoon's been gushing to him about how comfortable he feels around seokjin and how he swears that he'll confess to seokjin soon, because he's confident seokjin likes him. hoseok isn't jealous, or anything, no, he isn't
but he wishes he could talk to yoongi a little more, have conversations with him that last longer than 2-3 messages. what if yoong's losing interest in him? what if he pushed too far? ugh.
today should fix it; they're dressed up and ready to go, hoseok's in a green bomber jacket, going to go hang out at track meet, where jeongguk's competing in sprints.
cactus boy
hey, um.
something came up, i'm.
really sorry i can't go.
i really am.
omg hyung don't sweat it
you;re a senior i get you
its cool
take care of yourself!!
thanks.
:) <3 sending you love !!!
hoseok isn't. disappointed or anything.
》》
cactus boy
hey,
are you free friday?
yeah, why?
do you wanna come over or something.
apparently there's an e-sports tournament and i heard seokjin, taehyung, jimin, and jeongguk are all gone.
i don't have anything to do, either, so...yeah.
it's cool! i can come over. : ) seeya, hyung!
friday arrives, and hoseok is mildly freaking out, but otherwise okay. he stands in front of the door, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip, when the door opens to reveal a chirpy yoongi. "hey, hoseok."
he looks as tired and stressed as ever, but there's still a healthy glow to his cheeks as he smiles. busan wraps around his legs, purring loudly, while he tries to waddle out of the way for hoseok to enter.
small talk ensures, yoongi and hoseok chatter quietly while they making kimchi fried rice in the kitchen, the radio playing in the background. there's a sense of awkwardness lingering in the air that hoseok can't quite pinpoint, but he doesn't know how to adjust to it, so they're both just trying to go with the flow while failing to do so at the same time. yoongi bumps into him several times while they cook, and it's like an electric shock, the two of them moving away from each other at the same time.
something's different, because hoseok used to lean into yoongi all the time without any qualms (besides high blood pressure and cardiac arrest from yoongi's gummy smiles), and now he can't brush past yoongi without feeling some kind of—!!!—emotional constipation.
side-by-side they sit on the couch, curling up a centimeter apart from each other, close enough to feel the warmth radiating off but far enough so that they don't touch, watching inception on the screen.
"hey, hoseok."
"yeah?"
"i really like—" busan meows loudly. hoseok inhales sharply. wow, it's like those moments in those action films where one guy points a gun at the other guy's head, while the other guy points a gun to the latter's heads, and they're just waiting for the push of a trigger.
"—this fried rice."
boom, hoseok's been shot in the chest and he's fallen to his knees.
"we should cook together more often. it's. it's fun." yoongi finished by shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth, cheeks puffing up from the overload, and hoseok just nods mutely.
"yeah, um, you're right."
》》
they meet up again on sunday by coincidence, when hoseok is waiting at the bus stop to go home from dance practice, and yoongi is...honestly, hoseok doesn't know why he's here on a sunday afternoon. but they chat, yoongi asks hoseok about practice, they get on the bus, and talk a little more. yoongi takes up his usual window seat, and hoseok sits next to him.
"i really like..." he pauses, for emphasis, and hoseok wishes he wouldn't do this, because it unintentionally raises up his hope. "...your dancing." he words carefully, and hoseok wants to melt into the floor. "when's your next showcase?"
"winter," hoseok begins as the bus pulls to a stop, and hoseok regretfully has to leave. "i'll, um, message you when i know the actual date!"
"oh...okay. bye, hoseok."
"bye, yoongs."
》》
"what if yoongi doesn't like me anymore?" hoseok wails, rolling around in his blankets.
"cheer up, i bet yoongi still likes you, hoseok."
"no, it's all awkward and it's like he's all uncomfortable around me, now," he groans out, limbs kicking at the sheets.
namjoon spins around his chair, probably gloating from another fun predate with seokjin. hoseok is jealous. "maybe he's just really distracted from his reports and finals, hobi."
"i bet he just sees me as a friend and is now weirded out by my shenanigans. oh my god, joon, what if i'm blindsided and i'm just throwing myself in a unrequited relationship? what if yoongi is my soulmate, but i'm not his soulmate, so i'm destined to be alone forever? what if—"
"my god, stop letting evil kermit cloud your judgment hoseok. be your usual, peppy, i-love-min-yoongi self; i'm sure you're just misunderstanding." namjoon rolls his eyes.
hoseok sits up. "me: oh, i think min yoongi is cute." he pauses, hauling the blankets over his head to form a hood. "me to me: kiss him."
the teal-haired boy rolls his eyes, head shaking as he turns back to his desk. "you're so lame, hoseok."
"that's my charm!"
》》
it's been four days, and hoseok hasn't heard from yoongi. he hasn't talked in bangtan squad, either, and hoseok hopes he's okay. so he buys some carp bread from the friendly lady at the cart, and marches up to yoongi's apartment, knocking loudly. the door opens, and what the fuck—
standing in front of him is a petite girl, with round eyes and short, black hair, tied in two pigtails. she's a full ten centimeters shorter than him, munching on a white sausage stick from the convenience store. "hiya, what's up?"
blinking repeatedly, hoseok looks at the door. it's yoongi's and seokjin's apartment, alright. "i'm, uh, looking for min yoongi?"
she stands up straighter, peering at hoseok in curiosity. "yoongi oppa—" whatthefuck "—isn't here. do you want me to take a message or something?"
whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck. "um..yeah...i was just wondering if he's okay, since i haven't seen him around or anything."
"he's busy," she answers sharply, before eyeing the bag by his sides. "do you wanna drop a name so i can tell him you visited?"
she's so..straight-forward...that it amazes him. "i—i'm. jung hoseok. this is, for um, yoongi." he holds out the bag awkwardly.
the girl perks up in interest as she peers inside of the bag. "hoseok? ooh, so you're the hoseok i've been hearing about," she clicks her tongue.
oh man, hoseok doesn't want to know where this is going. "yeah...haha..i, uh, got a meeting, so i'm gonna...jet..."
"alrighty, bye, hoseok-ssi! i'll tell yoongi that you said hi!" she waves enthusiastically, before shutting the door, and hoseok doesn't know how to feel.
》》
seokjin
IS YOONGI STRAIGHT GAY OR BI
HAVE I BEEN PINING OVER THE WRONG SHIT THIS WHOLE TIME
DOES YOONGI HAVE A GIRLFRIEND
hoseok paces back and forth nervously, biting the top of his nails as he glances back and forth. god, waht if his life is a lie, and that girl is actually yoongi's new girlfriend, and that's why he's been acting so distant and weird, but then what about halloween? what was that then? god, hoseok is so confused, he just wants answers but everyone is so bus and finals are coming up—
did you really message me just to ask me about pointless blasphemy?
YES I NEED TO KNOW
did i not tell you to not disturb me unless it's an emergency?
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY
listen i have a midterm this friday and i don't have time for stupid stuff like this, hoseok.
,,,,ok hyung im sorry,,,,,,
but to answer your question: i don't know. now leave me alone.
that was helpful. the door opens, and fluffy teal locks spill into the light.
"joon," hoseok dry sobs. "it's not meant to be."
"what—"
"there's a girl. in his apartment. she calls him oppa. it's game over, joon."
"...a girl. in seokjin and yoongi's apartment? that's. what the fuck, why is there a girl in their apartment—"
"—i'm like, 90% sure she's dating one of them, 99% sure it's yoongi. she doesn't like like seokjin or yoongi, so siblings are ruled out."
a look of mortification crosses over namjoon's face. "what the fuck."
》》
B☆ANGT☆N SQU☆D
T
real talk why is there a girl in yoonjin's apt
JE0N
whAT
a IGRL
can't cook for shit
m e
Jisus
@Min Yoongi @Kim Seokjin pls explain we are all confused
T
she rly cute tho
[eyes emoji eyes emoji]
giggles
lay off
Jisus
ooOOOOO sum1's defensive
T
who dis ;)))) feed us this info yoongo hyong
JE0N
I WANNA SEE YOONGI HYUNSGS NEW GIRL
namjoon sends hoseok a look of pity.
》》
cactus boy
hey
so sorry for the lack of replies
can you do me a huge favor
what.
it sounds a little mean. hoseok winces.
??? : )
do you have epoxy glue?
uh...i don't have any but i know namjoon does.
okay can i borrow some
if he doesn't mind
all the stores are out because of the upcoming final project and i really need a little bit more
i'm not home so can you drop it off whenever you're free
by tomorrow?
yeah, okay, that. that works. i got your back, yoongs!
thanks!! <3
a h e a r t . hoseok can't help but break into a smile.
》》
the door opens, and—oh god, it's her again. she's in sweats and a hoodie, hair still damp, and hoseok wonders if she lives here. "hey—"
"can you do me a favor?" she interrupts, eyebrows furrowed into annoyance. hoseok sweats. oh no, she's going to tell him to lay off yoongi, to leave him alone and that they've been happily together for 230023 years, and hoseok is going to be all awkward and like haha i never liked yoongi...and watch his dreams crum—"can you ask yoongi out already?"
"...wait what."
she continues fluidly. "i'm pretty sure you know he likes you, and that he knows you like him—"
"wait, yoongi knows i like him? yoongi likes me? when did—what the fuck—"
blinking repeatedly she stares at hoseok. "i thought it was really obvious."
"i—how do you know that? i don't even know you, i've never even met you, you've never seen us—"
"..you didn't..realize...yoongi was trying to confess to you for the past week and a half, and failing?" she quips, arms crossed over his chest. what the fuck. "wow, you're denser than i thought."
"who are you?"
"i'm younggi!" she puffs out her chest, chin sticking up. "hasn't yoongi mentioned me?"
"...no."
"geez, what an ass." younggi purses her lips. "well, hello, hoseok-ssi. i'm min younggi. i'm his sister."
....holy fuck everything makes sense. not really, but more than usual. "you two don't look alike, what the hell."
"it's, uh, a long story; anyways," she hums out, "lemme fill you in. i usually come late november when i have break, cause oppa tends to forget himself while he's studying and doesn't eat and sleep for like, ever, so i make sure he gets his shit together. he's been freaking out more than usual ever since he realized he likes you, and it's been putting a hella stress on him, so he tried to confess to you like, a billion times, but kept on chickening out, so now he thinks he messed things up and just wallows in misery, so i, as a good sibling, gotta step up my game because you two aren't going anywhere."
hoseok stares at her, mouth open like a goldfish.
"i, min younggi, formally request you, jung hoseok, to ask my brother out, so that he can finally relax, and stop pestering to me about his love life." she drawls out, practically beaming at hoseok.
"...yeah...oka..yeah, i'll—i'll ask him....are you sure? are you really sure yoongi likes me?"
"yes, jesus christ, hoseok-ssi. look, i'll even show you our texts if you don't believe me."
"i—"
she pulls out her phone, scrolling for a little bit, before shoving the screen in hoseok's face.
o-ppap
younggi younggi younggi oh my gooodddddddd
i did it again
did u chicken out
YES
IT WAS SUCHA GOOD MOMENT AND I RUINED IT
AGAIN
HES GOING TO HATE ME FOREVER AND THINK I HATE HIM WHEN REALLY ITS NOT THAT IMJUST ANXIOUS
smh oppa ur dumb
step up ur game get into the grIND >(
LISTEN ITS NOT EASY
literally,,,all you gotta do is look at hoseok and go: "hey i like u"
I TRIED
u literally said u like fried rice thats not even remotely close
"believe me now?"
》》
cactus boy
you never told me you had a sister oh my god
oh
did you meet her?
she scares me
haha, yeah. mom says she's super strong-willed. it's the complete opposite of me.
she's leaving on friday, though, so no worries!
but also
what
you should, um, tell namjoon to hurry up.
what why
she has her eyes on seokjin.
she called him her soulmate.
isnt this her first time meeting him
yeah but she literally said that if if it's fate, she's gonna get to know him, and date him, and fall in love with him.
hoseok thinks this sounds eerily familiar.
isn't seokjin gay
he's like, homoflexible. leans towards guys, but won't hesitate to hit up cute girls. and my sister's kind of wild—she's the kind of person who'd stalk their crush and pretend to coincidentally meet them in order to be closer to them.
oh, no wonder she sounds so familiar.
"hey, joon."
"what?"
"you better make your move on seokjin quick. someone has their eyes set on him."
"who's that?"
"yoongi's sister."
"...wait. yoongi has a sister? what the hell?"
》》
(???)
heyo
???
hoseok-ssi.
what.
is this younggi???
ten points to hufflepuff, yesssiirr. anyways let me fill ya in.
how did you get my number what even
i stole yoongi's phone when he went to go shower, and looked up your number in his contacts. it took forever to find out who you were, but your contact name is kind of cute, teehee.
she's like an extreme version of hoseok.
my god.
anyways
yoongi doesn't like extra extravagant things, so don't ask him out with anything too extra
don't ask him in a fancy restuarant because he doesn't like attention
his first final begins next week so ask him out before then
yoongi like dark colors like navy/maroon/black/gray and his favorite color is black
he's really into hiphop and idk if you know this but he makes music too
he secretly likes cheesy and lame shit like i showed him produce 101 and he scrunched his face but he knows the dance to pick me so he's a snake !!! >(((((((
he's a romantic at heart but is kind of romantically constipated so you can't see it
if he likes you he laughs really easily at you no matter how dumb you can get or what you do like you could breathe and he'd smile trust me i witnessed it first hand with you both.
oh apparently he also really really likes memes now idk who converted him but tell them thanks
anyways just be really casual about it and just go "hey i like you" or something basic and dorky when you two are in private and i bet you he'll say yes
and do it before friday because i leave friday and i made a bet with him that you two would get together before i leave and i dont wanna lose : ))) tyty
uh
good luck im rooting for you on weekdays he finished studying at the library around 6 and gets on the bust and arrives home by 6:10 so hit him up yea boyyy
thanks, younggi. :)
np hosock-ssi
>(
: )))))))))) o woops
》》
joon
can you keep a secret from seokjin
depends on what it is
i'm gonna ask yoongi out
!!!!!!!!! YES BRO U GO
but i promised seokjin id wait 6 motnhs before id make a move
its technically 6 months since we met but 4 months since i promised so he cANT KNOW but i need help : ((
I GOT U
I, THE PRESIDENT O FTHE YOONSEOK FANCLUB, WILL HELP U ALL TEH WAY
tyty
i'm aiming for thursday evening
yes
in front of his apartment complex bc there's a tree there and not a lot of ppl r gonna notice
OK
can you keep tabs on yoongi that day and tell me when hes coming bc he'll be at the library but that's all i know im not vv sure on timing
ILL STALK HIM JUST FOR U
please be subtle
SUBTLE IS MY MIDDLE NAME IM SO EXCITED
you are not subtle youre actually scaring me
I AM PUMPED Up
please calm down
"I GOT YOU, JUNG HOSEOK," comes the yell from down below, and hoseok peers down to see namjoon waving at him from below the biology building.
hoseok hides a smile and steps away from the balcony.
》》
you have started a new group with kim namjoon and 10 other people.
jung hoseok
i have a new idea.
》》
joon
he just got on the bus
OIJIORWUOINWOVE OKAY I GOT U
younggi
he just got on the bus
THE CURTAINS ARE OPEN I WILL LOOK OUT.
whats seokjin doing pls dont let him know
I GOT YOU> hes busy studying. ill ask for seokjin to make me smth to eat when gigi comes .
thank y o u
np ;;;;))) i just want to win t his bet and make sure my bro is happy
joon
we're one block away
STAY CALM
i am c a l m
are you really
N O
BREATHE
I AM
AAAa
WE TURNED
WE STOPPEDHES GETTING OFF
IM OKAY IM OKAY I SWEAR
(he's not.)
joon
GOOD LUCK MAN
YOU GOT THIS
I AM ROOTING FOR YOU
ILL BE THRE SOON
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh
younggi
he'll be on your left
wait no your right
wait okay
your left my rigt
WAIT NO SORRY IM BLIND
your right my left
MY GOD YOUNGGI
IM SORRY I DONT DO WELL UNDER PRESSURE
it doesn't matter, because hoseok spots a bright flash of mint hair and turns towards it. yoongi's trudging steadily, black scarf wrapped around his neck and mouth, as a navy textbook blends in with his navy-and-white striped sweater. hoseok stands awkwardly in front of him, the red supreme hoodie and blue jeans complementing yoongi's outfit. it's time, it's the moment, and hoseok sets his alarm and tucks his phone into his pocket, standing up straighter.
yoongi looks up, blinking repeatedly in shock, clearly a deer in the headlights. hoseok takes a deep breath, and:
shit, fuck, he forgot the entire monologue made up inside his head. he peeks at his palms, where the ink has smeared from his sweaty hands, and wow, is he fucked. it's six pm, and the weather clearly said moderately strong winds, so there should be cute leaves sprinkling down on them for the perfect autumn confession scenery. the wind blows; a dead leaf falls on hoseok's shoulder. this is terrible, he's starting to freak out and wants to run away, because wow, this is going really wrong.
the older male opens his mouth, probably about to confess, and hoseok can see his lips form into an "i", but all he says is: "hey."
yoongi was trying to confess to you...but kept on failing...
fuck it.
"i kind of. when i first met you, i thought you were really cute," hoseok throws out, eyes shut tight. "and i didn't know who you were, but i really wanted to get to know you. so like. i got to know you. and you're really adorable, and i really. i wanna go on a lot of dates with you. and. i think you're really dorky, but in a good way, and. and i think you're really cool, and it's fascinating when you rant about computers even if i don't understand. anything." he inhales deeply. "and i kind of wanna be more than friends, if that's okay with you, but you're not ready then that's okay too, i just, uh—"
his phone rings , oh god, this is embarrassing, this is awful. hoseok had originally planned for give a short and cute fluid speech, and then at around 5 minutes, his alarm would go off, and black beatles by rae sremmurd would go off, and he so here he is, frozen, doing the fucking mannequin challenge, with his eyes shut and heart full of regrets.
"what the—oh my god. everyone is frozen."
hoseok wishes he had his eyes open to witness yoongi's expression, so he cracks an eye open to peer at the older male. true to the plan, namjoon (probably) sticks out from behind the lamppost behind hoseok with his phone, taehyung, jeongguk and jimin are frozen across the street playing rock-paper-scissors, jongin turns off his car in the middle of the street, hyeri leans against her boyfriend, mid-laughing, joohyun still has the straw in her mouth as she looks at her best friend, and yoongi, in the middle, looks completely overwhelmed and astonished.
younggi lets down the poster from up the window of yoonjin's apartment, and hoseok's kind of embarrassed to read it because of how cheesy it is.
whenever i see you,
i freeze up
my mind goes blank
and i can't move;
so min yoongi,
i wanna tell you
i really, really like you.
》》
namjoon is really fucking nervous, but one year of painful pining is enough. it's time to move up. he can see seokjin sitting in his white shirt and black jeans, aimlessly scrolling on his phone. oh well, better now than never. taking a deep breath, he smiles at the sight of hoseok's enthusiastic message before sliding his phone back into his pants and striding confidently to the table.
"kim seokjin?"
"that's—namjoon? what are you doing here?"
"i'm your blind date, taking haneul's place because he couldn't come."
"...why didn't you tell me sooner, i would've canceled and we can go out for ice cream, or som—"
breathe, joon, breathe. "i'm a third year majoring in architecture, and i'd like you to view me as a potential date, rather than a usual friend, if that's okay with you."
seokjin stares at him for what feels like the longest of time, and namjoon gazes steadily at him, teeth grazing his bottom lip as he continues to smile. this is more nerve-wracking than a final.
"...okay, namjoon. take a seat."
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