7
Taehyung has always liked flowers. Their different colors and pretty petals have always attracted his curious eyes since he's been a little kid.
Yoongi doesn't look like he's a person who likes flowers. He doesn't look like he would be stopping on his way to work and take the time to admire the first blooming flower in this early spring. Taehyung has actually been pretty happy when the first signs of spring started showing around their shady neighborhood which isn't actually as shady as some might think. Ok, yes, there are certain streets you shouldn't enter alone at night and yes, there are also people you should keep your distance from but it seriously isn't a bad place to be at.
At day the streets are filled with children, they make the dark asphalt bloom in all kinds of colors when they draw with chalk on it. While the teens around make the walls their canvases and rely more on long-lasting graffiti than chalk. To be honest, Taehyung has accompanied both groups several times already. The teens had been a little cautious of him at first but now he gets along with them perfectly fine.
He plays with them too. Kids, teens and everyone else - age here doesn't determine whether you can participate in an activity or not. Taehyung actually lost pretty obviously against an old man in streetball and a little girl in soccer.
Since spring began the streets are getting fuller with people who come out during the day. The weather gets warmer and sun rays tickle you awake in the morning. Taehyung loves it. He even manages to get Yoongi to tag along with him and the elder's cousins. Because of Taehyung's salary and the amount of money he gives to Yoongi's – his – family the elder could drop a few shifts at the café and didn't have to work as much and as long as he had before. It shows – Yoongi looks happier. His smile is brighter and he isn't as sleepy and irritated as before.
At first, it was obvious how much Yoongi struggled when he suddenly got a little time on his hands – time for himself, time he doesn't spend working or looking after his cousins. But now he's more used to it. Taehyung lives for the small moments when Yoongi seeks him out – even if it's just asking him to keep him company in his room. They don't even have to talk but Taehyung knows he's not the only one feeling comfortable just being in the other's presence.
Taehyung feels his heart flutter whenever he catches Yoongi looking at him and the elder looks at him a lot of times. Small glances during breakfast, the brush of a finger against his own and a sheepish smile at lunch, a wide smile and a warm hand on his knee during dinner and warm breath against his neck when they're going to sleep. Yoongi's eyes follow him like the lens of a camera trying to capture every single one of his movements. Taehyung doesn't know what to make of these glances, these looks which are directed at him like silent secrets. And that's how it is between them – silent. Glances burning like fire, innocent feather-like touches and smiles shared almost like no one's watching them but it stays silent between them. Neither of them addresses the tension between them, neither of them seems to feel the need to clarify their situation.
Taehyung is afraid of asking Yoongi. He's afraid of breaking him because the elder is as fragile as the fresh flowers blooming outside. The flowers spring brings – the season of change. Spring changes the world from a dark cold winter to a new beginning. With the season of change comes Yoongi, Yoongi who doesn't seem like a flower appreciator but it seems like Taehyung has to change his view of the elder.
Taehyung loves flowers and he's especially fond of all their unique shapes and colors but what always gets them is the smell. Maybe Yoongi is a flower-boy after all because Taehyung isn't the only one looking fascinated at the shop around them.
It has been a surprise when the elder asked him this morning to accompany him to a secret location. Okay, Taehyung only calls it the 'secret location' because it sounds cooler than Yoongi just telling him to come along or not without mentioning where the hell they're even going. He doesn't know what kind of place he expected once he had boarded the bus behind the elder male but it definitely wasn't the flower shop they're currently standing in front of.
"They have more flowers than usual," The elder mumbles absently as he goes through the wide-open double doors, past pots of colorful flowers. Taehyung follows him inside, a small smile crooking his lips as the wind chime above the door plays.
"Hey, Yoongi?" Yoongi only hums as an answer and strides through the shop like he knows exactly where everything is and what he wants inside. Taehyung follows him through the maze-like aisles filled with seemingly thousands of different flowers.
"What are we doing here?" He asks and almost bumps into the other's back when he decides to stop once they reached the back of the shop where the counter is located.
"Well, obviously we're buying flowers," Yoongi shrugs before turning towards the counter. "Excuse me?" The woman – maybe in her late thirties or early forties – perks up at his voice and drops the scissors she had used to cut the plant in front of her.
"Yoongi," She greets him with a warm smile. Like they've known each other for a long time already. Taehyung wonders why Yoongi never mentioned her or the flower shop but coming to think of it, even though he thinks he knows everything about the elder, he surprises him every day again. "I have your usual flowers in the back," The woman says and there's something else than kindness in her smile, in her brown eyes. Taehyung just can't figure out what the gaze she sends Yoongi could mean.
"Thank you," Yoongi almost whispers, his lips set in a thin line while the corners of his mouth alter between twitching up and downwards. Like he seriously tries to smile when all he wants to really do is be sad.
"No problem," The woman reassures him before vanishing behind a green door. Yoongi drops his gaze to the floor then, shuffling a little.
"You're often here?" Taehyung asks the question burning on the tip of his tongue and instantly notices the way Yoongi stiffens under his gaze. The elder's long fingers start playing with the loose threads hanging from his sleeves and he turns his body a little more away from Taehyung.
"Not directly," he mumbles and even though the answer is vague and inviting to question him further Taehyung doesn't. He can take a hint. There's no way he wants to make Yoongi uncomfortable and just knowing that the elder took him here, a place that he never mentioned before but seems to visit quite frequently has to be enough for now. Taehyung won't push him because even though it sometimes takes some time for Yoongi to open up – He always ends up showing more parts of himself to Taehyung.
Well, whatever. Taehyung has to find a way to distract Yoongi now. He wants a smiling and comfortable Yoongi and not a frowning and uncomfortable Yoongi. Okay, quick, he can think of something super quickly. It has become one of his new talents recently, cheering Yoongi up and taking his mind off things he worries about. He glances around the shop and suddenly his eyes catch a pot full of the prettiest lilac flowers he's ever seen.
"Oh, look how pretty those are!" He exclaims loudly, instantly rushing towards the flowers and dropping to his knees in front of them to be at eye level with the blossoms. He reaches one careful finger up to touch the petals and the wide smile on his lips almost split his cheeks.
"You want them?"
"I..." Taehyung's head snaps back up at Yoongi's question. What's that supposed to mean? 'You want them?' Well, yes he does. They're pretty. Is Yoongi implying that he would buy them for him because Taehyung can pay for himself. He has money with him – not a lot, yes but probably enough for one of those lilac flowers. He's about to tell the elder exactly that when the green door behind the counter opens again and the woman steps out with a huge bouquet of vibrant yellow sunflowers.
"Yoongi-ssi," She sets the flowers on the counter, brushing one of her brown strands out of her face as she smiles at them, "Here are they."
"Thanks but this is pretty huge. I don't think I'll be able to pay for so much –"
The woman stops his rambling with a wave of her hand as she pushes the bouquet forwards in his direction. "Don't worry, I won't charge you extra for the flowers I added. I know how important this is for you."
Taehyung expects Yoongi to decline her offer. After all, he's a very humble person but to his surprise, Yoongi only drops his gaze to his fidgeting hands again. "Thank you, I really appreciate it," He whispers and Taehyung could swear he heard a small tremble in the other's voice.
"That's all, right?" The woman asks.
"Actually," Yoongi turns around and Taehyung freezes in his spot. Still sitting on the floor and one hand raised to feel the petals of the gorgeous flowers. He follows Yoongi's movement with his eyes as the elder crouches down to grab three of the lilac flowers and puts them on the counter. "I'd like those too."
"Oh, yes of course," The woman says, smiling knowingly at Taehyung who quickly snaps out of his initial shock and surprise. He quickly gets up, leaning against the counter next to Yoongi. The elder doesn't need to buy him flowers for god's sake! He can do it himself. And anyway, doesn't it awfully feel like something a boyfriend would do? Buying him flowers feels like something way too intimate for the supposedly platonic relationship they share.
Even though they're close – closer than friends and close in a different way than family members are. But neither of them dares to cross the line to find out what exactly they are, where they stand and it seems like they're also both comfortable with the way things are at the moment. But Yoongi buying him flowers? It feels awful like crossing that particular line they've been dancing around.
"You don't have to buy them for me," Taehyung argues. It would definitely be the thing which will push Yoongi over the line and force them to admit that there's something. Something between them that they both don't really know how to call. Even though his heart starts beating like crazy when he thinks about Yoongi buying him flowers. Just the sheer thought of the elder doing something so boyfriend-like has him almost going crazy.
"It's okay," Yoongi shrugs and slides money over the counter. Embarrassment flushes Taehyung's cheeks red at the wink the woman sends him. Yoongi is buying him flowers – Oh my god!
Yoongi is buying him flowers.
Yoongi is buying him flowers!
Yoongi is buying him flowers!
The woman is still smiling as she wraps a fitting lilac band around the stems of the flowers before handing them Taehyung who takes them with a choked out, "Thanks."
"And who is this fine young man?" She asks once she has turned her attention back to Yoongi. She probably has taken pity on the younger who doesn't look and doesn't really feel like he could talk a coherent sentence at the moment. "Yoongi-ssi, in the years I've seen you, you always came alone. Is he your boyfriend?"
Taehyung chokes on his spit, almost feeling like he's going to throw up a lung. What the hell?! Boyfriend?! Do they seem like boyfriends? Do people look at them on the streets and think they're together? He thinks he needs someone to teach him how to breathe again – or to say it simply, he's freaking the fuck out. Contrary to him, Yoongi doesn't seem as fazed by the question because his only reaction is a low chuckle – god, that chuckle sends shivers down the younger's spine. "That's Taehyung," He nods towards the younger and slowly, he raises his right hand to scratch behind his ear – he's nervous! Embarrassed! "He's only accompanying me today."
"I see," The woman nods to herself before pushing the bouquet into Yoongi's hands, "Maybe this year you'll come by another time? Instead of waiting until next year."
"Maybe." Yoongi smiles and the woman returns it. Still, Taehyung has a feeling that the elder's answer is the same everytime the woman asks him this question. That 'maybe' feels like a 'you know I won't be coming by.' He follows the elder outside of the shop, a warm breeze blows the long strands of his hair into his eyes. He needs to get a haircut soon. Seriously or else he can totally start braiding his hair.
They're walking down the street, the sun warm, almost a little hot on the skin of his face and Taehyung quickly goes to shrug off his jacket. The breeze feels amazing on the bare skin of his arms and a sigh leaves his lips. Spring is great, the warmer weather makes it easier for Taehyung to feel content, happy. He glances over at Yoongi, almost stumbling over his own feet because of what he sees.
In the entire time that he has stayed here with Yoongi and his family, he's never seen the elder with bare arms. Yoongi wears long sleeves wherever he goes, Taehyung has seriously considered that the other doesn't even own a single T-shirt but guess he is wrong. Yoongi stretches his arms over his head and the short sleeves slide down all the way until they meet his shoulders.
It shouldn't be something special, seeing Yoongi's bare arms for the first time because they look exactly like Taehyung imagined them – is it weird to imagine other people arms? Well, Taehyung has only been curious. Yoongi's skin is pale, his arms thin but not too thin, it isn't until the elder turns around to check why Taehyung isn't following him anymore that a gasp spills over his lips.
"It's rude to stare," Yoongi chuckles once he catches Taehyung's gaze on him. The younger knows he must seem like a creep and staring is something he always found rude about other people but he just couldn't look away. Yoongi's left arm looks like it went through a shredder at one point of the elder's life. The nasty scars rake all over his forearm and even disappear under the sleeve of his shirt and up his shoulder.
He wants to ask. He really does but should he? Will it make Yoongi uncomfortable? Maybe. Maybe not. And maybe this is the elder's way of trying to tell him something he doesn't want to say just like that. Yoongi isn't good with words and expressing himself – maybe this is a hint Taehyung should take so that he'll be the one opening the conversation. Why else would Yoongi suddenly show his arms? This must mean something. He takes a deep breath before falling into step with Yoongi who had started walking again. "Where did you get these scars from?"
Yoongi doesn't tense but he raises his right hand to scratch behind his ear while answering, "Accident. Car." His answer is short, two words but he doesn't sound put off by talking about it. Still, Taehyung has no idea how to proceed from here.
"Oh," He says eloquently, forcing a dry chuckle from Yoongi.
"It's okay," The elder says, stopping next to the bus stop they got off earlier. "It's been years."
Years since the car accident. Taehyung doesn't know what happened. Yoongi's family doesn't own a car and something like an accident was never mentioned before, not even implied anywhere. He doesn't want to pry too bad, Yoongi will probably tell him everything when he's comfortable with it. "You normally wear long sleeves...." Taehyung mumbles, a small pout forming on his lips as he refuses to look Yoongi in the eyes and rather keeps himself busy with counting the petals of his lilac flowers.
"To hide the scars," Yoongi confirms the other's suspicion. Something must be different today.
"Why not today?"
"It's the anniversary." Taehyung isn't sure if that what he hears inside of the elder's voice is sadness or something else. He can't decipher the expression on his face and in the blink of an eye, there's a reassuring smile on Yoongi's lips again once he leans down to smell the sunflowers.
"Of the accident?" Taehyung asks. Just because, he doesn't need to listen to the elder to know the answer. The anniversary of the accident, this explains the tension in the air. He's probably again the only one not knowing what's going on but now he has at least a clue. A car accident Yoongi was involved in.
"...yeah," The elder says, a faraway look in his eyes. Before they could continue their conversation the bus stops in front of them and Yoongi pulls him along onto the vehicle.
The bus rattles under them and the sun which breaks through the windows they're sitting by is burning hot through Taehyung's jeans-clad thighs. Yoongi isn't talking but the silence between them can't really be described as uncomfortable.
Taehyung looks down at his flowers, the lilac petals shining in the light. His cheeks flush again in embarrassment as he thinks about it. Yoongi buying him flowers – it kind of feels like something straight out of his daydreams. He leans down to smell the flowers and a pleasant, warm feeling spreads through his whole body. A different warmth than the sun rays hitting his legs emit. His lips involuntarily turn up into a smile and he leans back against the seat.
The smile falters for a second when he turns his head to sneak a glance at the elder next to him. Yoongi is unconsciously playing with the big, yellow petals of the bouquet of sunflowers in his hands. His eyes are directed to the scene outside, seemingly not really looking at the city rushing by them. Yoongi sometimes zones out, it's normal but this right here still feels slightly different.
The whole day feels different. It's not like that one time when Yoongi had left to fight – the tension in the air today is different but still kind of similar. Everyone just seemed extra careful today, quiet and a little down. In the morning Taehyung had been met with silent nods and tight-lipped smiles. It's weird. And again it seems to have something to do with the location Yoongi goes to – the only thing different from back then? Now, the elder takes Taehyung with him.
They get off at an unfamiliar stop and Taehyung stumbles after Yoongi. A breeze ruffles the younger's hair and he blows the stray strands out of his eyes before noticing that he lost sight of Yoongi. The second he slightly begins to panic as he looks left and right Yoongi shows up again, sticking his head out from behind a wall.
"Are you going to move or...?" He asks and Taehyung chuckles, following behind the elder through a huge iron gate. His gaze gets caught on the sign next to it. Cemetery. His heart stutters and even though the sun is supposed to spread warmth over his skin, he feels the blood in his veins running cold.
"What are we doing here?" His voice is quieter. Because their mere presence on the cemetery suddenly makes everything around him feel different from the happy go lucky vibe going on outside of the walls because of the sudden outbreak of spring. Yoongi is still walking ahead of him, absently smelling the sunflowers in his hand and he doesn't even stop to turn around as he talks.
"Visiting," The elder says, "Come on, just follow me."
And that's what Taehyung is doing. He lets his gaze wander of the wide expanse of green grass and the methodical array of tombstones scattered over the meadows around them. There are grave's full of blooming flowers, stones which were so old that the inscription is barely or even not visible at all. It's weirdly eerily quiet around them like the birds decided not to nestle in the trees standing on this ground. It's kind of scary. The atmosphere feels like they're kind of in another world.
The path they're walking is plastered with gravel and every step they take is accompanied by crunching. Taehyung wants to ask – he wants to know who they're visiting but he thinks that he kind of knows it already. By now, it's obvious. Still, it still feels like a punch in the pit of his stomach when they stop in front of a simple grave, the tombstone clean but modest and then there's the inscription.
"Are those..." He doesn't finish his question – He doesn't have to because Yoongi knows what he wants to ask.
"My parents. They died. In the car accident," His short sentences sound checked off and weird coming from his mouth in this monotone voice. Yoongi sounds like a broken record – like he said those things so many times before and just can't help but replay his words. "They both loved sunflowers so I never forget to get them some every year," Yoongi whispers. He reaches his hand out to smooth over the names of his parents, sweeping away a few stray leaves which have littered the graves.
"Why am I here?" Taehyung asks timidly. It feels weirdly intrusive to him, being here, like he witnesses a moment which is only meant for Yoongi and his parents – in whatever way they're here at the moment. He awkwardly shifts his weight from one foot to the other.
"You wanted to know right?" Yoongi asks. "What happened to my parents? Where they are?"
He swallows thickly, eyes roaming over the two tombstones, "Yoongi..."
"No, I want to tell you," The elder sighs and he starts playing with the petals of the flowers again. Taehyung watches one of the yellow leaves slowly sinking to the ground. "I don't often talk about this, not even my friends know the full story. They just know that I don't have my parents anymore..."
"You really don't have to tell me," Taehyung stresses. The last thing he wants of Yoongi is to feel pressured to open himself up to him just because he lays his soul almost completely bare in front of the elder. But if he thinks about it, that's something Yoongi would never do. The elder always does everything at his pace, he opens up but only if he feels like it. He said he wanted to tell Taehyung but it's still something else. The most personal story – only Yoongi's anger issues coming close to it. But there's still that slight difference that Taehyung would be a special person, one of the chosen few to know about this part of Yoongi's life.
Getting to know this feels so personal – intimate – that Taehyung couldn't help but double-check if Yoongi's sure about telling him this.
"I would feel better if I did. I want you to know... I want you to know as much about me as possible because... just because," He sighs before moving to sit on the ground, legs crossed over each other, "It still hurts, thinking about them, about what happened but it's been years. I got over it. I'm still sad but I try remembering only the good moments I had with them. It's okay, I want to tell you everything there is to know about me because I trust you. A lot."
Taehyung still feels hesitant. He's... scared? Scared of reaching a new level in his relationship with Yoongi because he's not sure what the elder wants from him. What he sees him as? As a friend? A family member? Maybe... maybe something more?
Yoongi is patiently waiting, still sitting crossed legged in front of the two graves without starting to talk. With a start, Taehyung realizes that the other waits for him to agree, he won't tell him the story if Taehyung doesn't want to hear it. He gives him the chance to refuse this intimacy but Taehyung can't do that. Not only because he's curious – it's mostly because he feels like Yoongi needs someone to talk to."...okay," He says, "Tell me."
Yoongi visibly relaxes, the tension rolls off his shoulders and he lets them drop before a long sigh escapes his lips. A small breeze makes the one petal which fell off the bouquet fly away, Taehyung follows its path with his eyes as he waits for the elder to start talking. Yoongi takes his time but he starts talking soon enough – his voice sounding way too loud in the quiet graveyard.
"My parents were good. They loved me unconditionally and even though we were pretty poor they always made sure I had everything I wished for. They made sure that my childhood was great. I loved them dearly but I lost them too early. They taught me all about life, about acceptance, about giving everyone a chance and they loved me so much even though I always got angry so easily. We didn't have enough money to afford a long-term therapy and definitely no medication," He sighs, raking his free hand through his hair. Taehyung listens silently, eyes boring into the back of the elder's head.
"I was fourteen when I had an episode," Yoongi continues, "They would drive me around in the backseat of the car until I calmed down – it really helped, today it just makes everything worse. Well, we drove around town and I was screaming and crying but my parents sat in the front, humming along to a melody of a song I don't know the name of and helped me calm down. I was tired after I stopped crying, exhausted and I fell asleep. "
There's a moment of hesitation in Yoongi's voice. He cuts himself off too quickly for it to sound natural but Taehyung doesn't ask, he just waits for Yoongi to give him the answer on his own accord. And he does.
"When I woke up – or when I was woken up it was by a loud scream. A car horn and then it felt like I was flying before suddenly crushing down to earth again. I don't know what happened – one second I opened my eyes to be blinded by bright lights and the next everything was dark."
This time it takes a few minutes until Yoongi continues talking and when the younger sees how his shoulders shake he wants nothing more but to reach out and engulf him in a hug but he restrains himself. Respecting limits and waiting for consent. He knows that there are moments when Yoongi just needs to be left to himself, moments where simple touches can trigger something very dangerous inside of him and he definitely doesn't want Yoongi to have a panic attack or an anger episode right now.
So he waits. He waits for him to either give him permission to calm him down or for him to continue telling his story. Yoongi coughs a few times and they sound wet, Taehyung is more than sure that he's crying. Still, Yoongi talks through the tears, even though his voice is rough and cracks a few times, "A truck caught us head on – my parents were crushed in the front and I was stuck in the back of the car. We skidded off the road and the side of the car got crushed, my arm – the one with scars – was the worst physical injury I took that night."
Taehyung gasps once, a chill running up his spine as he tries to imagine the feeling. But he can't. He can't even try to imagine how something like this could possibly feel like but he's sure it hurts like hell. Not physically but mentally. There's something inside of him wishing to take all this pain away from Yoongi but he knows that's not possible. The only meaningful thing he could do is listening to Yoongi, being there for him and showing him his support.
"I still feel –," Yoongi chokes on a small sob, "Until today I still feel the fingers of my mother around my wrist. She had held my hand during the drive and after we got hit – she never let me go. Not even when she wasn't there anymore."
"I'm – My apologies," Taehyung gasps out. He doesn't know what to say. His brain is literally blank. What do you even say in those moments? Yoongi turns around at the sound of his voice and yet again the breath gets knocked out of the younger's lungs.
He's seen Yoongi cry, he's seen him angry, happy, frustrated, annoyed, content – But he's never seen him look like this before. Yoongi's lips are slightly curled in a weak smile, tear streaks running down his red cheeks and beautiful brown orbs glistening in the sunlight. Ethereal. There isn't another word to describe the other.
Taehyung smiles back but he doesn't know if he actually managed to lift the corners of his lips or if he's just pulling a grimace. Whatever it was, it makes Yoongi giggle and the younger swears he feels his heart doing a somersault in his chest. They hold each other's gazes for a few seconds before Yoongi drops his eyes to the floor, a red blush starting to cover his cheeks.
"I... Usually I talk with them – You don't have to stay," He explains bashfully, fists clenching and unclenching in embarrassment. Taehyung doesn't really understand why he's no way someone who would ridicule another person for talking to their dead parents. Not when he had lived his whole life talking to literally anything whenever he found himself alone.
"If you don't mind me," He reassures the elder and kind of makes sure that he's not overstepping a boundary by wanting to stay an listen. After all, this is still something very personal. "I'll stay."
"Okay," Yoongi gets up on his feet again, smelling the flowers before gently placing the bouquet on the graves and shuffling forward to caress the engraved names on the tombstones. His voice drops to a softer tone, a tone which reminds Taehyung of the one he uses with his little cousins but there's still something slightly different even though he can't really say what.
"Hi mom, dad – It's me again," Yoongi says and Taehyung could see another tear slowly making its way down his cheek before chuckling lightly, "Well, it's been another year and I'm – We're still doing good. I mean, money's tight like always and uncle had to stop working but we're holding up just fine. There's something important I want to tell you," The elder quickly glances back at him, "We have an addition and it's another child. Auntie isn't pregnant again – You thought, right?"
Yoongi laughs at his own little joke and Taehyung even joins him. He already knows it – he's the child. The new addition. The new family member. "No... I have managed to deal a little better with my anger but then there was this one evening where my whole day had been extra shitty. I had the early shift and a pounding headache, all I wanted to was to sleep it off but I got called into work again – shitty, right?"
Taehyung isn't a hundred percent sure what Yoongi is talking about now but he's got kind of a hunch already. And there's a guilt dripping inside of his stomach, a dark heavy feeling uncurling in his chest.
"Well, I sent my co-worker home early because she was so tired and I thought no one would come in close to closing time but I was wrong." Okay, now he's sure what day Yoongi's talking about and shame makes Taehyung's cheeks flush in bright red. He doesn't really remember the details of that night but he knows he offended Yoongi and got coffee dumped on himself because of it. But if he wouldn't have done that, he wouldn't have met Yoongi and he wouldn't be where he is right now. So, even though it's kind of a memory he wants to forget and erase, it's still something precious to him now. The first encounter with the guy who changed his life.
Maybe... Just maybe he changed Yoongi's a little too?
The elder chuckles again, hands never stopping to caress the stones, "There was this lady who was an absolute nuisance and I was about to snap her neck, to be honest. It had been a long time since I had been this angry and I was afraid to trigger another episode so I had hoped for the last customer to not be an asshole – " Taehyung winces slightly, his rude behavior flashing back into his mind, "Unfortunately he turned out to be one. Drunk and rich – a pretty face. That's what he was to me and then he offered me money to sleep with me and I almost lost it. I mean, I still dumped my coffee over his head. I met him a few days later again and he asked for a place to stay for the night. I wanted to turn him down but you always taught me not to judge based on first impressions and to help those in need. So I did."
This time Yoongi looks directly at him before responding, "He wasn't very nice the next morning and I thought I'd never see him again but I did. He was trying to steal some food but was shit at it. I bought him some and brought him home. He's been staying with us since then," Yoongi smiles, a small smile which doesn't even look that intentional but he's got that fond look in his eyes which always sends Taehyung's mind into questioning what relationship they really have and what they could have. "And even though I started off as seeing him as nothing more than a superficial celebrity like they exist everywhere all over the media, he turned out to be different."
Taehyung feels the butterflies in his stomach again, they march around in there, fire their guns and make him want to vomit his wildly beating heart out.
"His name is Taehyung and he's been such a big help and relief for everyone. My friends like him. He gets Chul to talk, isn't that great? I've never seen him as happy as he is with Taehyung around," Yoongi says and his voice wavers again but this time it doesn't seem to be out of pure pain and sadness but rather something more in the direction of happiness. "I'm happy with him around."
"I miss you a lot but I know you're always here with me," The elder whispers, letting his eyes stray back to his parent's graves, "I love you."
The breeze picks up again and more yellow petals begin to whirl in the wind. It's silent between them for a few minutes, a heavy tension in the air but neither of them feels the need to relieve it. Not until an idea pops up in Taehyung's head. Maybe... maybe like this, he could convey a little of his feelings to the elder. Maybe he could give him a hint of what he feels. Maybe.
"Hey..." He shyly asks, one hand resting on the elder's shoulder, "Do you think I could talk to them, too?"
He has to wait for a few awkward seconds until Yoongi answers him, "Uhm, if you want to... go ahead." He gestures towards the graves, stepping aside to let Taehyung pass.
"Okay," Taehyung steps forwards and awkwardly half kneels and half crouches in front of the tombstones and briefly bows. He takes a deep breath, "Okay, I've never done something like this before uhm... Hi? I am Taehyung, the uhm, the Kim Taehyung, Yoongi has talked about before. So, I, well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm very thankful for the person you raised Yoongi to be. You have a very great son and I'm so glad that I had the luck to meet him. I'm happier with him around too."
He feels his own eyes getting teary, voice getting choked up and suddenly there's a warm hand carefully rubbing circles on his back. "If... I'd like to uhm, to speak with them – alone, for a second. I swear it won't take long –"
"Hey," Taehyung interrupts him, "It's okay. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll find my way back to the gate. I'll just wait there for you."
The whole ride back hasn't been silent, the younger couldn't stop talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Not that Yoongi minded that but he also couldn't help but notice the way Taehyung seemed to stick even closer to him than usual. It's normal for the younger to initiate a lot of body contact and he seems to want to draw everyone's attention on him but he's also aware when to back off and when to tone it down but he doesn't usually act like this.
They're walking back to their apartment now and somehow the younger's fingers have found their way between his own, clasping tightly as he talks without any interruption. Yoongi waits for a second in which the other takes a breath and he uses this pause to butt in. To say what he wanted to say the second Taehyung realized where they were headed today, "Thank you for coming with me..."
It's kind of embarrassing but Yoongi can't say why. He avoids looking at Taehyung but instead, his eyes trail down to their intertwined hands. His heart skips a beat and he unconsciously squeezes his fingers together around the other's hand.
"No, it was my pleasure," Taehyung smiles down at him, that wide rectangular smile which makes the day seem even brighter than it was before, squeezing his hand back and it suddenly feels like something inside of him snaps. Not in a bad way though, just in an 'I need to do something right now' way. He stops walking, just freezing up on the sidewalk and Taehyung turns around to face him confused.
"What's wrong, Yoongi?" The younger asks.
Yeah, what's wrong? Yoongi can't say it because technically there is nothing wrong but why does he feel like exploding at the moment? Why does it feel like his body tries to hold too many emotions inside and he needs to let all of them break free? He knows this feeling – it's similar to anger wanting to get out of him but this time it's something else. Something warm, soft but electric and exciting at the same time. He doesn't even realize that he opened his mouth when those three words already tumble over his lips.
"I like you."
Taehyung just gapes at him. Unable to reply with something more intelligent than, "Wha..." And Yoongi wonders, yes, he really does wonder why he isn't freaking out? Why doesn't he deny everything? Explains that he doesn't mean 'like' in the way it could be interpreted by the younger but why should he do that? It feels... liberating. Exciting and scary at the same time but he's kind of glad he put his feelings out in the open like that. Now, he only needs to hear what Taehyung has to say. If the younger finds his voice again.
"I'm sorry but I," He laughs again, head thrown back as he draws in a deep breath to say those meaningful words once again. "I like you, a lot," He feels the warmth of them on his tongue, in his throat and deep in his stomach.
"You mean like... as a friend or...?" Taehyung asks warily – His face is void of any emotion. His face which normally shows everything the younger thinks but this time Yoongi finds himself unable to read him. He doesn't know if that's something good or bad – He only hopes for the good.
"Not as a friend and not as a family member," Yoongi explains and he drops his gaze to their hands again, seeing their fingers intertwined and the fact that they're still intertwined must be a good sign, right? "I like you... like-like you."
"Yoongi..." Taehyung whispers and he seems to struggle with his words but Yoongi doesn't even give him a chance to find his words.
"You don't have to return my feelings – obviously. And no matter what your answer is, you'll still be able to stay with us. Don't worry about that," He rushes to explain, eyes cast downwards as he squeezes Taehyung's hand tightly in his – Just to relieve some of the stress building inside of him. Maybe confessing hasn't been such a great idea after all.
When Taehyung doesn't say anything for the next few moments the butterflies in his stomach die down and get replaced by a painful dread settling down there. Yoongi bites his bottom lip as he fees himself get choked up again. Not like he hasn't cried enough already, right? He loosens his grip on the other's hand.
"No, Yoongi, I'm not worried about that," Taehyung hurries to say and to the elder's surprise he grips his hand tighter again, even going as far as to clasp his other around them too, "I just, I don't know what to say!"
"You don't have to say anything," Yoongi sighs, trying to wrench his hands out of the other's vice-like grip. He knew it from the start. There's no way in hell his feelings could be returned. Why should they? Taehyung knows everything about him – He wouldn't want to date himself either. "I knew right from the start that someone like you wouldn't fall for me."
His heart squeezes and he feels tears of embarrassment brimming in his eyes. This is the most humiliating thing he's ever done. There won't ever be another moment where he feels as vulnerable and bad as right here, right now. He releases a shaky breath, about to completely turn away from the younger when Taehyung suddenly lets go of his hands and puts them on Yoongi's cheeks, forcing him to look up again.
"That's not – I don't know what to say because I'm just so happy!" The younger exclaims and his brown eyes shine brighter than the sun above them.
"What?" Yoongi asks confused. The word comes out a bit muffled due to Taehyung still squishing his cheeks together – He probably looks like a fish right now.
"Happy, you know that emotion, right?" Taehyung asks, chuckling lightly as he squeezes Yoongi's cheeks again. The younger does look happy? The only question remaining is the reason why. Why his lips are stretched into this adorable rectangular smile Yoongi loves so much. "I'm happy because I...," Taehyung gasps, seemingly unable to contain his excitement because he literally vibrates, "I like you too. Like-like you."
Yoongi stares at him for a second. He searches for any signs of lying, for any sign that Taehyung might just play a prank on him but there's nothing. As soon as he realizes this his heart stops again, a shock running through his veins and he could feel the blush rising all the way from his chest to the top of his head. "Are you... Is this real? Because if you don't mean this then I take everything back and you can go sleep on the streets for all I care –"
"No, I'm serious," Taehyung insists, "I mean it. I like you too. For real."
"Oh, thank god," Yoongi whispers, eyes slipping shut and he doesn't even feel embarrassed of the small tear making its way down his flushed cheeks. Definitely not when Taehyung gently brushes it away with his thumb. They stay like this for a while, Yoongi leaning forwards into Taehyung while the younger continues caressing his cheeks with gentle strokes.
"This is the adrenaline speaking because I normally wouldn't be brave enough to ask you but can I kiss you?"
Yoongi isn't even sure how many times his heart could stop or skip a beat just because of something Taehyung says or does but he swears this can't be a healthy amount. He opens his eyes to look at the male in front of him. The absolutely gorgeous male in front of him who looks ready to kiss the living daylights out of him.
"Okay..." Yoongi whispers and he has barely time to close his eyes before two lips attack his own.
It's a little awkward at the start but the elder could still feel fire searing through his veins. Taehyung kisses like he does everything else, a little clumsy, a little without having a plan and mostly relying on intuition. Their teeth clack together a few times, their noses get in the way but it's still kind of perfect.
Just because it's Taehyung who's kissing him.
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