9
The summer night was warm around them, with the sunset being over for at least an hour they sat in darkness. There was a little light coming from the streetlamps but apart from that the playground was lit poorly. Yoongi leant back on the swing and drew in a long breath. "Can you believe it?" He asked.
Taehyung took his sweet time to answer. "What?" He responded. "There are a lot of things I can't believe. Like why we still fight against the truth that there are Aliens or that area 51 is a myth. I mean, come on-"
Yoongi interrupted him by shoving the younger's swing lightly. "Shut up." He laughed. "I meant the things that happened recently." The older was looking at his dirty shoes while slowly beginning to swing back and forth.
Taehyung was laughing too, lips pulled into that rectangular shape Yoongi adored so much. "It's crazy!" He yelled from far above the ground, he was swinging higher and higher, giggling like a little kid. "All the last weeks I spent here feel so... so surreal. You know what I mean? Leaving clinic and everything it feels... every morning I still think that I'll wake up in hospital. I miss the people there... I really do."
Yoongi nodded, face pulled into a thoughtful expression. "I felt so too, I think everybody does. In the beginning it's horrible and every day you have to fight against the urge to just go home but in the end, nobody really wants to leave either... For me, it was because it was a place where you'll be accepted despite everything. Without the blink of an eye, just acceptence, tolerance, nobody judges you. You can be you and that's almost impossible to have anywhere else."
Taehyung made a sound of agreement, slowly coming down again until he finally stopped swinging. The stars shone bright above them. "I can't believe it's only four days." He said.
"Me neither..." Yoongi's voice was quiet, just barely above a whisper and he gripped the swing tighter, knuckles turning white. "...me neither..."
~
"I thought about it." Taehyung's sudden words startled Yoongi and the older almost dropped his cigarette. He turned on the window still to face the younger who hadn't done anything besides sitting quietly on Yoongi's floor since he had arrived almost an hour ago.
The older tried to study his expression but his face was blank, no emotion visible. Yoongi felt an uneasy feeling creeping up his spine and making his stomach sink. Taehyung laughed dry and short. "You must be anxious. I'm deciding your future happiness after all."
"Please don't make this more dramatic than it already is. You know I didn't mean it like that!" Yoongi interjected but the younger just waved him off. "I know!" He growled and stood up, pacing through the room. "I know that you didn't mean it like that but you said it like that and can't take it back now. Why do you even want to go back to Seoul?"
Yoongi sighed, putting his notebook completely away. This would be a longer conversation. "I've just been thinking about it. Do you wanna spend your whole life here in Daegu?"
Taehyung rolled his eyes and left his place next to the window, pacing through the room again. The older followed his movements with his eyes but didn't move himself. He stayed put, arm hanging out of the opened window, cigarette between his fingers. "Maybe I want to. What if I want to stay in Daegu forever?"
Yoongi sighed at Taehyung's pissed off tone. "Then," he said softly. "I won't leave Daegu either. I'll stay with you." Taehyung clenched his fists at his sides, he was chewing on his bottom lip again. His gaze kept flicking through Yoongi's messy room. Clothes piled around the stool in the corner, bed unmade, papers scattered on his desk.
"That's the problem." Taehyung hissed. "It's your future I'm deciding and I know how you meant it but you do have to understand that I'm still right. So, please listen, alright?"
Yoongi had to bite his lips to prevent the words that almost tumbled out. He knew Taehyung was right but it still bothered him. He really never meant to put the younger under such an amount of stress. And what did that even mean? 'That's the problem'?
"I..." He hid his face behind his hands and Yoongi couldn't help the uneasy feeling creeping in, guilt eating away at him. "I would follow you to the end of the world - I know, I know it sounds cheesy but it's true and... and that scares me. I'm just so scared."
Yoongi lowered his gaze, his hands were clenched tightly after hearing the wavering in the other's voice. "I'm scared, what if it isn't the right decision? What if I want to go home again? What if... what if it just doesn't work out...?" He knew Taehyung was fighting against the tears, it was obvious in the sound of his voice.
"Moving isn't final." Yoongi tried to reason with the younger. "We can always go back if you don't like-"
"Stop." Taehyung interrupted him with a deep sigh. "Stop saying this. You want to go there, don't decide to leave again because of me. I know you would do it, I know that. But you can't do that because of me. I know you'd do everything for me but if we have to leave again or not go at all because I can't then you're going to hate me. You're going to blame me for not following your dreams eventually. It's unfair of me to keep you from doing what you want and you should never put another person above your dreams. I couldn't live with that and you couldn't either... So, in the end, we would break up. That's how it's going to end. I'm scared. I'm really scared..."
He turned away from Yoongi again, eyes trained on the floor. "And still... still I would follow you until the end of the world. I'm not convinced that it's the right idea but I want to... I want to go... with you."
Yoongi released a breath he hadn't even noticed holding and a smile broke out on his lips. But it quickly faded when Taehyung opened his mouth to speak again. "I'm coming with you but only on one condition. If I want to leave again, don't come with me just because I want to go. Do what you want and if that is staying than you're staying. You have to promise me that you won't give anything up for me. Our relationship can't work if it is build on sacrifices as big as this. Promise me."
With the last words, Taehyung looked Yoongi dead in the eye, holding his gaze and despite the blurriness, he stared strongly straight ahead. "I..." Yoongi hesitated for barely a second. "I promise. I promise you." He smiled again and this time it even reached his eyes. It wasn't big, closed mouth and small crinkles around his eyes. "... thank you... thank you for coming with me."
~
"What's wrong?" Taehyung's voice was laced with concern as he carefully shoved Yoongi's swing lightly.
"Nothing, I just -" He sighed and dropped his head again.
"You just what?"
"I just... I'm just... scared, I guess?" He laughed dryly, no real joy nor happiness in his voice. "Ironic, right? I mean, you were the one who is scared, I looked forward to it. I really did and now, suddenly, I feel like I'm going to suffocate. I can't breathe. I - I'm scared to leave in four days. Taehyung, I'm... I... I don't know."
"Hyung," the younger said determinded. "It's okay, to feel scared. We're leaving our home and you don't really have good experiences from living in Seoul. But we're not alone... we have each other and - and the rest! It's your dream, it's okay if you're scared as long as you face your fear!"
He was standing up now, arms thrown in the air and Yoongi was once again amazed at how beautiful Taehyung looked. Just standing barefoot in the sand on an old playground, moonlight reflecting in his sparkling eyes and casting shadows over the curves of his body. A simple task like standing there and talking, he made it look so absolutely amazing. But all just because it was Taehyung doing it. Only Taehyung could pull everything off like that.
"Namjoon and Seokjin are there! Hoseok's transfer got accepted too, Jimin already lives in Seoul and Jungkookie'll start university with me. We'll all be there. All seven of us in one city and it won't be lonely anymore." Yoongi couldn't help but smile. Taehyung always had a talent for worrying about himself and things that might happen to him way too much but when it came to other's, he always found a way to make them feel better. To take the fear, the anxiety, away.
"Okay." Yoongi smiled and Taehyung smiled back at him, bright and rectangular. And the older felt himself falling in love all over again. It always happened when that honest smile was directed at him, together with those eyes that seemed to only see him and nothing else in the world. Hoseok called it 'the Yoongi-look'. He claimed that Taehyung only ever had that expression when he was looking at Yoongi. Even though the older would deny it, secretly he felt way too happy because of a simple look. But it made him feel so... so wanted. Special.
"Catch me!" Taehyung suddenly yelled and Yoongi forgot about everything he just thought about, because the younger was just too ridiculous. He would never understand how someone as beautiful and with horrible experiences like Taehyung could still be like five at heart but it was another reason why he liked him so much. Because he was often way too mature for his age - had always been - but then, sometimes he acted like a little kid.
"We're adults!" He yelled but he stood up despite that. It didn't matter. So what if they were adults? What if he was a twenty-five year old chasing another adult over an old playground in the middle of the night? It didn't matter because he was laughing, because Taehyung was laughing, because they were happier.
It didn't matter that there was sand in Yoongi's shoes, it didn't matter that his lungs were already stinging, it didn't matter that they both fell down in the slightly damp grass. It didn't matter that he hardly could make out the other's face while laying in the darkness under a tree. Nothing mattered but that rectangular smile on Taehyung's lips and what could only be described as 'the Yoongi-look'.
The older opened his eyes and the laugh died in his throat. Suddenly the position they were in hit him like a brick to the face.
Taehyung was laying under him, long arm wrapped around Yoongi's back and pulling their chests flush against each other. The younger didn't seem to realize the situation they were in, he just continued to laugh and stare but Yoongi - Yoongi on the other hand felt the blush creeping up on his cheeks. Taehyung wasn't making it any better by pulling him even closer, thigh between Yoongi's legs and breath hot on his lips.
In the end it was the older who closed the distance between them and sealed their mouths together. The rectangular smile vanished and was replaced by eager lips pressing against his own. Taehyung's other hand came up from his back and grabbed the short hairs at Yoongi's neck. The older held back the urge to moan at the slight pain the hair pulling caused. His cheeks heated up again. Taehyung only pulled him closer.
"Yoongi..." He breathed against his lips. "Yoongi, I..." But he never finished his sentence, silenced by the older's lips pressing down on his again. He didn't remember whose tongue was in whose mouth first but he didn't care. It didn't matter. The kiss got heated pretty fast and Taehyungs thoughts weren't able to keep up. He wasn't able to keep up.
All his senses were filled with Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi. He felt like he melted under the other's touch, his tongue burnt his mouth but eased the pain - desire - in his gut. It felt like it was a need to touch, to feel, to taste. His hands roamed Yoongi's back in an attempt to bring them both even closer together, even if it was physically impossible right now.
He had no idea what he was doing, what was even happening. Yoongi had been his first kiss ever, he had never done anything with anyone, never even thought about it because he had always kept to himself. Even though he had been harboring a major crush on Jungkook in high school - he had, apart from Yoongi, no experience in anything related to love, to relationships.
He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. On one hand he tried to press every inch of his own body against Yoongi but on the other hand he felt embarrassed because of the way he reacted to the older - especially because with one of his legs between Taehyung's, the older must be able to feel everything.
Yoongi shifted a little, seperating their chests and the sudden cooler air made Taehyung shiver. The kiss - kisses - didn't stop though. Yoongi still got his tongue in the other's mouth, exploring every inch and pulling quiet moans and whimpers the younger desperately tried to conceal from him.
Taehyung broke away with a gasp when Yoongi's hand suddenly brushed over his chest. The older shyly smiled at Taehyung as he was about to slip his hand under the other's shirt but stopped. Waiting for approval, Taehyung realized. He didn't know. He wasn't experienced, all he knew was that he wanted to feel Yoongi even closer. He closed his eyes and tried to hide his embarrassment as he silently tugged Yoongi's hand forward.
His hips involuntary jolted up when Yoongi's hands finally touched the skin just above his sweatpants. His whimper was swallowed by Yoongi's mouth when the older continued brushing his fingers against Taehyungs sensitive skin.
Taehyung still felt extremely embarrassed by the situation he had down there but it eased him a little, knowing - feeling - that Yoongi was the same. He could feel it as the older slightly rocked against his thigh. It was hot.
And not only that. Taehyung felt his own body temperature rising to the point where he was almost starting to sweat. His heartbeat was erratic, violently hammering against his ribs like it wanted to break free. And Taehyung couldn't blame it. Yoongi's fingers had started to toy with the hem of his pants but never dipped below. Taehyung wanted to break free, not from the older but from himself. From his fear that kept him almost immobile. Afraid of doing something wrong, being weird, being unexperienced but he wanted it. He wanted to touch Yoongi too, he wanted the older to touch him more but he was afraid of voicing this. It frustrated him.
He willed the tears of embarrassment down and reasoned with the voice in his head that Yoongi - especially Yoongi - would never laugh at him, would never want him to do anything he felt uncomfortable with, that he wouldn't be annoyed at Taehyungs embarrassment but it only helped a tiny bit.
Deciding to quit trying to voice everything, Taehyung settled for conveying his desires nonverbal.
By the sudden boldness of his hands that stopped shortly before Yoongi's ass, pressing the older down more insistently while grinding his thigh up against the other's arousal. By kissing back even fiercer, trying to at least pretend to fight for dominance in their kiss. By the roll of his hips against Yoongi's hand, urging him to dip below the waistband.
For a moment he thought he overdid it - Yoongi stiffened in his arms but only for the fraction of a second. Then Taehyung could feel the smile pressed against his lips and the teasing strokes just above his waistband stopped, replaced by determined fingers pressing against his bulge. His hips stuttered upwards and a loud moan left his lips, immediatly swallowed by Yoongi.
There was still one piece of clothing separating the skin on skin contact but it already made Taehyungs thighs tremble. It seemed like his short boost in confidence also had a lasting effect on the older. Yoongi didn't hesitate when it came to the other's boxers. With no further teasing he reached inside and curled his hand loosely around Taehyungs throbbing cock.
Taehyung gasped again, throwing his head back and giving Yoongi plenty of room to kiss and suck on the skin of his exposed neck. Now Taehyung was barely able to keep his lips still and his mouth shut. The small moans and harsh gasps filled the dark air around them while Yoongi continued lazily stroking Taehyung. Even though the angle was awkward, clothing restricting Yoongi's movements and the overall position wasn't that good - it still felt aboslutely fucking amazing for the younger.
The only pleasure he had ever recieved had been from his own hand and when only thinking about Yoongi touching him made him almost moan out loud, then it actually happening was just... amazing. The feeling was completely different from his own hand, Yoongi moved differently, gripped differently, had a different tempo and it still had Taehyung already close to cumming.
He couldn't explain the feeling but the warm hand around his lenght was just perfect. Yoongi had abondoned the youngers neck and they failed kissing again, so they were now just breathing into each other's opened mouths. Lips sometimes pressed together and tongues still touching all the time. Taehyung whimpered against Yoongi's lips, bucking his hips up. While the older was grinding his own down at a desperate pace, gasping in Taehyung's mouth.
"Tae..." He whimpered, accelerating the movements of his hand. "Tae, pl-please..." His voice was higher than normal and had a desperate edge to it. "Touch me," he breathed, nuzzeling his nose right behind the youngers ear and making him shiver. "Touch me, too..."
Taehyung knew he didn't had to, knew that Yoongi didn't expect him to do it while feeling uncomfortable but Taehyung wanted to. He wanted to touch Yoongi, to feel him too - he was just... scared. Simply scared - insecure might be a better word to describe what he felt right now.
Another small moan escaped his lips as Yoongi's thumb rubbed over the tip of his cock and Taehyung decided to just do it. His right hand moved off Yoongi's back. The angle was also awkward, especially because Yoongi's own hand was jerking Taehyung off at the same time. But somehow the younger managed to get his fingers inside of the others pants, still above the boxers but it seemed to be enough for Yoongi.
His breath quickened again, now only coming out in harsh pants. He rolled his hips against Taehyung's hand. The younger pressed the heel against the outline of Yoongi's cock, feeling a damp spot on the cloth.
Taehyung felt the familiar heat building in his stomach, threatening to spill over any second. Yoongi seemed to also be close, judging from the whiney breaths and twitching cock under Taehyung's hand.
Taehyung knew that it would take only two or three more strokes for him to come, he rubbed faster at Yoongi. The younger had long forgotton about his prior embarrassment, his insecurities, he was shamelessly moaning now, mouth hanging open and eyes glazed over.
In the back of his mind the information that they were still right next to a fucking playground and that there was a small chance they might be caught brought even more excitement for him. The idea of getting caught - just thinking about the humiliation made him cringe but at the same time, the thrill of doing something 'forbidden' turned him on even more.
"Yoongi..." he whimpered pathetically before the older swiped his thumb across Taehyung's tip again and the younger curled in on himself, teeth sinking in Yoongi's shoulder and muffling his cry. The other stroked him through his orgasm and right now Taehyung didn't even care that his cum was soiling his underwear. And even though he felt like jelly, he still continued moving his own hand. He wasn't even finished when Yoongi cried out his name and he felt it. He felt the exact moment Yoongi came. At first his body went stiff for a second, then collapsing on top of him like he was boneless. His cock twitched violently under Taehyung's touch and he felt the cum wetting the cloth against his skin.
They were both panting hard, heartbeat hammering against their chests. Neither of them was moving, Yoongi still on top of Taehyung, one leg between the other's thighs and both still their hands in each others pants.
"I feel gross." Yoongi mumbled into Taehyungs neck, tickling him. The younger moved his hand first, sheepishly looking away from the other, face hot with embarrassment. "We should go home." He whispered.
Yoongi nodded, Taehyung could feel it against his skin and then the older rose with a groan and a disgusted look on his face. "We shouldn't have done that here," he complained and Taehyung could feel his face heating up again while thinking a few minutes back and what exactly they 'shouldn't have done here'. "Now we have to walk home like this." Yoongi's expression was still disgusted, especially as he took the first uneasy steps.
Taehyung stood up too and he quickly mirrored Yoongi's expression. Having cum in your underwear and having to walk like that really was no joke. It felt disgusting, boxers clinging on the skin and unfortunately the cum would have dried when they were home. And that meant getting it off would be a bitch and hurt like hell. Not to mention their underwear would be ruined.
They walked in silence the first minutes both focused on the drying problem in their underwear when Yoongi suddenly spoke up. "Hey," he said, getting Taehyung's attention. "Are you alright?" The younger nodded quickly. "Really?" Yoongi questioned further. "I didn't go too far or too fas-"
"I'm okay!" Taehyung squeaked, trying to avoid talking about what made him embarrassed. "It... it was good, good yeah." He finished awkwardly, quickening his steps and leaving Yoongi a few meters behind.
"Hey!" The older yelled, running after him. "Hey! Does this mean we can do it again?"
Taehyung's only response was a high screech which made Yoongi laugh out loud. "I'm kidding!" He yelled catching up to the other and clasping his hand on his shoulder. "I'm kidding, we're gonna take it as slow as you want." Taehyung gave him a thankful smile, cheeks still a vibrant red.
~
"God, I can't believe my mother cried!" Taehyung laughed half heartily while staring out of the cars window. Yoongi chuckled next to him, giving him a fond look.
"I can't believe you're still crying." He teased and Taehyung quickly snapped his head around, still dabbing a tissue to his eyes and nose. "I always cry when my mother cries!" He defended himself. Yoongi just continued to laugh.
"None of your parents cried." Taehyung noted nonchalantly. Yoongi stopped laughing but the smile stayed on his lips. "It's not the first time I move out and this time we parted on good terms and with me being... well, not quite good but so much better."
Taehyung nodded understandingly, finally drying his last tears. "I'm so excited." He yelled but Yoongi could also hear the fear in the others voice. He gripped his knee and stroked his leg in a calming gesture. "Me too."
Taehyungs smile wobbled on his lips but no more tears spilled from his eyes. He gripped Yoongi's hand and took a deep breath. "I admit that I'm scared and so are you but it's only normal because we're taking a huge step in our lives. It's gonna end well."
Yoongi squeezed his hand, his heartbeat quickened in adoration. He could not be prouder of his boyfriend. They would make it, together they would conquer the world of Seoul.
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