3-Tacenda
The first time Taehyung noticed Yoonji, she was standing by her locker talking to a taller boy who had a trendy haircut and idol good looks. The pair were engaged in hushed conversation— Yoonji was hugging her books to her chest with her bobbed hair like black satin under the fluorescent lights, and the guy leaned towards her with a smirk playing on his lips. It wasn't an unusual scene, really, very typical for high school, but it wasn't the familiarity that drew Taehyung's attention.
No, he was wholly engrossed in the act of fumbling through the chaos of his locker to find his English texts when he heard a commotion a few feet away from him. It was then that he turned to see the guy tugging on Yoonji's wrist, mumbling some nonsense like "come on, baby, just go out with me" and "I know you want it".
In that moment, Taehyung dropped his backpack to the floor, puffed out his chest, and proceeded to—
Watch Yoonji slap the shit out of the guy without even blinking.
The offending teen was so shocked that he just cradled his face and walked away in a daze and soon Taehyung had found that his feet had subconsciously led him to stand right in front of Yoonji, who was frowning deeply with her fist clenched.
"You want to be next?" the third-year girl had asked him, and Taehyung shook his head so quickly that he actually got kind of dizzy and had to grab onto the lockers for support.
Yoonji had smiled at that, clearly amused, and walked away but didn't disappear into her next class before casting a glance back at Taehyung with a sparkle in her eyes.
The first time Taehyung sees Yoongi, all he can think about is Yoonji, Yoonji, Yoonji.
The name bounces around in his head, drowning out all rational, coherent thoughts and when the man speaks, Taehyung almost expects to hear a voice he had long since forgotten. Instead, a gruff, raspy timbre reaches his ears and he can't help but stare as the man in the wheelchair looks up at him expectantly, like he's curious as well. And it's ridiculous how Taehyung had hoped that the other could feel it too, this strange sense of time shifting and worlds colliding.
But no, Yoongi was staring because Taehyung had spilled wine all over the floor and ruined a beautiful crystal glass in the process. It certainly wasn't the best of first impressions and though Taehyung wanted to crawl into the earth from embarrassment, he couldn't look away. What else was he supposed to do when confronted with such an unlikely scenario?
He should've left, if he's being honest with himself. He had no business taking on a patient that elicited such a strong reaction from him, but he found himself incapable. Just like that dreary Monday when he had leaned against the lockers and watched the love of his life sashay down the hall, he chose not to walk away.
After the initial shock, everything sort of blurred together and conversation with Yoongi had been difficult and abrasive but Taehyung couldn't get the word "Yoonji" to leave his brain, not while her face was being worn by another, and by the end of the night, against all rational thought, Taehyung had completed a ridiculous dare in order to secure Yoongi as his patient— he had covered himself in cheap, gas station tattoos and had barged into the elder's home in the middle of the night to announce his victory. Perhaps he was a little warm from the wine he had managed to sip, or perhaps after all these years he had finally stayed true to the perception others held of him— he was nothing more than an impulsive, quirky dumbass.
A dumbass who had walked at least twenty square blocks just to find enough tattoos just to cover most of his torso, arms, and neck.
And Yoongi had stared down at Taehyung covered in these obnoxious faux tattoos and scoffed before rolling back into his bedroom. Jimin was obviously confused about the whole situation but elated that at least someone would be able to watch after his friend.
Taehyung signed the contract right then, and now the day has come to finally move in with his patient.
"What's that cage for?" Jimin asks, eyeing the object in the back of Taehyung's car. The older man is helping him unload, both of their arms already full of boxes and clothes on hangers.
Blushing, Taehyung swallows down his anxiety. "Um, I forgot to mention that I have a dog," he explains, inclining his head towards the cage. "This is Yeontan, but he's trained, I swear. He's a great dog and he's basically my child so—"
"I don't know about this," Jimin interjects, leaning forward to peer inside the cage. "Animals can be dirty and.... Oh my god!" the man gasps, his eyes wide and mouth agape. "He's so fluffy! He looks like a little stuffed toy."
Taehyung smiles as he pulls a duffle bag over his shoulder and adjusts his hold on a box. Yeontan has a certain effect on people and judging by the way Jimin is cooing, the dog isn't going anywhere.
It doesn't take long for them to get Taehyung unpacked and situated; he brought enough necessities for a couple of months and it's not like he needed furniture or anything. For now, Yeontan is snoozing in his large crate, napping lazily on his plush bed while his owner finishes filling the drawers with clothes. Satisfied, Jimin offers to give Taehyung a proper tour and to let the nurse shadow him while he helps Yoongi throughout the day.
"Hyung is really a lot more independent than you may think," Jimin explains while leading Taehyung around the first floor. There's the main room, of course, the kitchen, dining room, foyer, and one bathroom, as well as a sitting room attached to a balcony overlooking the city. Everything is gorgeous and well-decorated without being overly gaudy.
"It's mostly due to the fact that he's regained some sensation in his pelvis, but the other reason is because he hates feeling vulnerable," Jimin continues as they make their way through the tour. "It took a lot of whining for me to get him to agree to let me move in and care for him. Like I said, we're childhood friends and he still doesn't let me help with certain things."
Nodding along, Taehyung makes it a point to absorb as much information as possible about his new patient. "Like what?"
Jimin hums as he considers this. "For one, Hyung hates being carried, like anywhere. If for some reason we can't push him into a building because they don't have a ramp, we have to carry his chair to the top of the stairs and then physically take him to the chair," he pauses then, giving the nurse a cheeky look. "Well, he would rather sling his arms around your shoulders and have you struggle to drag him up those stairs than carry him. He's very stubborn about that. Never carry him like a child. He finds it demeaning."
"That's understandable actually," Taehyung replies as they begin their ascent up to the second floor. "Not many patients like to be reminded of their illness. I think it's better to treat them as if my care is just an extension of the care they already give themselves, you know?"
Jimin stops in the middle of the staircase and blinks owlishly. "That is such a good way of putting it," he whispers, almost as if he's talking to himself, and then he's moving on. "Also, never touch him without permission. Sometimes it looks like he's gonna fall when moving around, but always ask before touching him in any way. He responds better to help that way."
Taehyung nods again even though Jimin is in front of him and clearly can't see him. They're at the top of the stairs now, standing before the small balcony protruding over the main room and facing a hallway lined with several doors, one of which is Taehyung's new room.
Jimin continues his explanation. "Never offer your advice on how he should be doing things— that's for Jungkook, his physical therapist, to do and he usually only listens to him regarding his physical limitations."
"So basically just assist him but don't be too pushy or expectant," Taehyung reiterates as Jimin nods. "Hey, I've been wondering, why doesn't he use a motorized chair? Wouldn't that be easier for him?"
With a snort, Jimin gives Taehyung a knowing look. "We tried that once. He kept getting frustrated with it. It only goes so fast, you know? Besides, he's convinced that the exercise of pushing himself around is good for his upper body. Jungkook thinks so too, so we've never really gone back to a motorized chair. He still has it though, in case of emergency."
"That's good to know."
"Now, there's the issue of bathing..." Jimin tapers off, looking warily over towards a door at the end of the hall. Taehyung assumes this must be Yoongi's room and Jimin is trying to be discreet. "He has a shower chair, and he's pretty self-sufficient with cleaning himself, but he needs help undressing and getting in and out of the chair. Now, he's known me forever, so he doesn't have a problem with me helping, but I'm not sure how he'll react to you."
Humming, Taehyung agrees with that concern. After all, he did get this job based off some weird bet, but the fact that Yoongi didn't immediately reject him afterwards is a good sign. At least, he hopes. "I'll take it slow with him," he assures Jimin. "Who is the housekeeper guy? I forgot his name, but I'll be sure to ask him for help if the patient feels more comfortable that way."
"Oh, Hobi-hyung?" Jimin snorts at that. "He could help but don't rely on him too much. He isn't always around and he's extremely playful. One of those 'always-cracking-jokes' types. Yoongi-hyung likes him well enough but he has his days where he doesn't feel like humor, you know?"
"Yeah," Taehyung agrees lamely, but inside, he understands this sentiment more than anything. Yoonji once told him that it was his undying sense of humor that had drawn her to him, the way he was always so quick-witted and pleasant to be around.
"If Hyung does give you trouble," Jimin is saying, voice hushed, "just give me a call and I'll bitch at him until he listens." He punctuates his sentence with a wink and a giggle, then he's moving on down the hall towards Yoongi's room. "You ready for this?" he teases, looking back.
Taehyung laughs, but it's nervous and high-pitched. He tries his best to calm his nerves by playing with the hem of his scrub top. "As ready as I'll ever be."
He isn't ready.
He realizes this as he watches Jimin try to rouse Yoongi from his slumber and the elder refuses to get up, thrashing his upper body around and actively dodging Jimin's arms. It isn't until Jimin physically jumps on top of Yoongi does the man relent, groaning out his protest and opening his eyes.
One would think it was the crack of dawn but it's actually noon.
Yoongi's hooded eyes are on him suddenly and Taehyung finds himself at a loss for words. He had planned to introduce himself properly, put aside their reservations from before and proceed professionally, but it looks like that's not going to happen.
"Shit," Yoongi hisses, diving back towards the covers. His face is red and he looks utterly annoyed with the nurse's presence. "I forgot you were coming today."
Jimin laughs, still perched on the bed. "Hyung, I've been reminding you for three days now. You know I leave soon, so of course I have to get my replacement ready."
Peering over his blankets, Yoongi glares at Taehyung before rolling his eyes. "I know, I know," he relents with a heavy sigh. "It's my fault for all of this in the first place. Should've never challenged someone so obviously insane."
Jimin laughs at this, shaking his head like Yoongi's words amuse him, but Taehyung feels insulted. Sure, it had been a ridiculous thing to rise to Yoongi's challenge, but was it really so bad that he was here? Yoongi hardly even knew him as a person.
"Yoongi-ssi, I look forward to working with you and I hope you'll accept me in Jimin-hyung's absence," Taehyung states in his best professional voice and even smiles in an effort to lighten the tension. It would do no good to dance around each other like this, especially when they were bound to become more intimate with each over the next several weeks.
Yoongi narrows his eyes at this before whipping his head towards Jimin. "Take me with you," he blurts out suddenly, his face dawning with realization. "Holy shit, why didn't I think of this before? Take me with you to Busan!"
A pained look crosses Jimin's delicate features and he reaches out to hold Yoongi's hand. "Hyung, I considered that, but I'll be taking care of my mom, and I would hate to neglect you," he explains and Yoongi seems to sink further into himself. "Besides, the travel alone would be hard on you. You need to be here, where you're comfortable."
"You mean, where I'm safe," Yoongi retorts, throwing off his blankets and pulling himself to the edge of the bed with his rather toned arms. Taehyung watches with fascination as the man grabs onto his wheelchair parked by the bed to pull himself into it.
At one point, he gets his upper body into the chair and begins to drag his legs with him, but the chair seems to tip, and before Taehyung can think better, he's at Yoongi's side, holding onto the man's biceps to steady his attempt.
It takes two seconds to realize his grave mistake.
The look Yoongi gives him could kill a lesser man, but Taehyung is too worried for his patient's safety.
"Don't touch—"
"Taehyung-ah," Jimin whispers as he gently pulls Taehyung back, "thank you for helping Hyung, but he's got it." He smiles tightly and Taehyung refocuses on Yoongi who finishes pulling himself into the chair with a frown darkening his features.
Then his patient is off, rolling into the bathroom before slamming the door.
"I'm sorry," Taehyung mumbles, a little shell-shocked but mostly embarrassed. Jimin gives him a soft smile and then the two awkwardly look away from each other. "So.... does he not use a catheter?"
Jimin grimaces at the question but doesn't shy away from it. "He did up until a year ago. That's when the sensation started coming back a little in his hips and so we had a lower toilet installed as well as this funnel-like thing. Basically, he can pull up to the toilet and pee into it from his chair." The older man clears his throat before adding, "his father had it commissioned for him."
Raising his brows in surprise, Taehyung searches for a proper follow-up but Jimin is one step ahead of him.
"He can snap it off if he needs to do the other kind of business. There are railings on the wall that he uses to pull himself out of the chair to sit on the toilet." Jimin lets out a little laugh then. "You'll find that Yoongi-hyung actually avoids going out of the house so he doesn't have to deal with the logistics of shitting."
This does make Taehyung laugh, catching Jimin's eye as the older man struggles to contain his own giggles. Seconds later, Yoongi re-emerges from the bathroom with a scowl on his face. His skin is shiny and Taehyung figures that he must've washed his face as well. It's rather impressive. The patient looks between his two caretakers before rolling into the hallway without much fanfare.
Breakfast is less eventful, Yoongi eating the meal Jimin prepared for him with apathy while he reads the newspaper. Jimin munches away on a platter of fruit since he's already had lunch due to the late hour and Taehyung just sits there awkwardly, unused to such a relaxed work day.
Though none of his previous patients had a disability quite to this extent, Yoongi seems to actually require less attention. It's perplexing, but Taehyung reminds himself that this is only hour two of his observation.
"Your father called," Jimin speaks up after awhile, wiping fruit juice off his mouth.
Yoongi cocks a brow at this but his gaze never leaves the newspaper in his hands. "And?"
"And you're in Japan," Jimin states nonchalantly before shoving another orange slice in his mouth.
"Thanks" is all Yoongi replies before silence resumes.
Taehyung can't stand it. "Do you visit your father often?" he asks.
He thinks it's an innocent question, one that's related to his job seeing as how he would need to learn what Yoongi's preferences are for going out and how often. Judging by the look on both Yoongi and Jimin's face, however, the question is more akin to a molotov cocktail.
"I don't speak to my father," Yoongi bites back, his slanted gaze burning into Taehyung. "Thought that was kind of obvious just now."
Taehyung sputters, sensing the disappointment coming from Jimin. "I-I was just curious if you had a certain schedule for seeing family or not. Most of my patients—"
"Most of your patients can walk, I'm assuming," Yoongi interjects, his eyes back on his paper. "Obviously, I'm not like those patients."
Jimin sighs heavily.
Taehyung grimaces, hating the feeling of being so clumsy with his intentions. He's usually welcomed by all his patients and it never takes this long to warm up to one of them. He sucks in a deep breath and cocks his head. "Do you want me to leave? Because if you think I'm wasting your time, then I can go."
Jimin laughs awkwardly at this, clearly uncomfortable. "No, that's not what—"
"Go ahead," Yoongi taunts, pressing the newspaper flat on the table and smoothing it out with his palms. "You're the one who worked so hard to prove that you wanted the job. I'm sure you have better things to do with your time. Go home to your girlfriend or whatever."
"Hyung," Jimin hisses, his eyes wide in alarm. "What are you doing?"
"I don't have a girlfriend anymore," Taehyung states before Jimin and Yoongi can start arguing. The trick works and all eyes are focused on him once more.
Smirking, Yoongi takes a sip of his water before setting down the glass too slowly for someone so riled up. "Anymore? What happened? Did she leave you because you're the kind of guy who won't take a hint?"
Jimin jumps out of his seat, mouth agape. "Hyung, what the hell has gotten into you? I hired him to help you and all you're doing is fighting him! Taehyung-ah has been nothing but nice and—"
"No, let him finish," Taehyung interrupts, focusing his gaze on Yoongi. "I want to hear it."
Yoongi resumes glancing at the newspaper. "You really jumped on the chance to live with a patient, which is kind of strange, if I'm being honest. Not surprised that you don't have someone waiting for you at home."
"Hyung, I swear, if you don't stop, I'll..."
"You'll what?" Yoongi retorts, folding his hands in front of him and glowering at his friend. "Leave?"
Jimin looks to the ground and takes a deep breath. He seems to struggle with his words and Taehyung wonders if this is a normal occurrence for them or if it's his presence that has brought chaos into their relationship.
But it seems that Yoongi isn't satisfied with the silence because he turns his frustration back to Taehyung. "Why did you want this job so badly?" he questions brusquely. "Was it my money? My reputation? Or am I right about you being too lonely on your own?
There's so many things Taehyung can reply to this, but he finds himself at a loss for words. What could he possibly say that Yoongi wouldn't either take offense to or turn around on him? With someone so obviously distraught, it's better to say nothing than the wrong thing.
After a few terse moments, Yoongi chuckles darkly. "Wow, you're not even going to answer my question?" The man's eyes are wild and his petite frame is struggling to contain his anger, but all Taehyung can see is someone forcing themselves to feel something because they're tired of feeling nothing.
He can't even count how many times he got into fights after laying Yoonji to rest. How many times he lashed out at his parents for no reason at all because seeing them frustrated and annoyed with his behavior was better than the look of pity on their faces.
"If I answer, will you take me seriously?" Taehyung replies.
This time, Yoongi doesn't answer.
Staring down at the polished wood of the table, Taehyung considers his words. After awhile he looks up to see a concerned Jimin chewing on his bottom lip.
"Jimin-hyung, besides being Yoongi-ssi's best friend, why did you want to help him?"
Jimin seems surprised by the question and not at all offended. "Um, well, besides being his friend.... I guess it feels good to help someone physically and emotionally at the same time. Like, it's easy to comfort someone or offer emotional support, but no one ever thinks about how much physical support we need as humans. It's just nice to be able to offer that."
Across the table, Yoongi is staring as his friend with his little feline eyes as round as possible. He's not moving or blinking and Taehyung watches for a few heartbeats just to make sure that the other is breathing.
When Yoongi shakes off his shock, Taehyung clears his throat and points over to Jimin. "That," he intones, "is why I'm here."
He hopes that his patient will listen, will see Taehyung for who he is and believe him, but Yoongi doesn't. He doesn't even try.
The man simply pushes away from the table and wheels out of the dining room, leaving Jimin to sigh heavily into his hands and Taehyung to wonder why nothing he does or says is right.
"He's not usually like this," Jimin assures with a sad smile.
"It's ok," Taehyung says, glancing down at his hands on the table. "I'm not usually like this."
——————-
"So," Jungkook begins with a drawl and cheeky grin. He's got Yoongi bent in half, his strong hands working the muscles of the elder's inner thigh— not that Yoongi can feel much of them except for a slight pressure and some tingling. "So, who's the new guy?"
"Why do you care?" Yoongi grunts out, groaning at the stretch he can feel searing into his upper hip. It's at moments like this that he almost wishes he hadn't regained feeling in some of his lower torso.
Jungkook adjusts his grip and presses down harder. "He's cute."
"Kook-ah, you're straight." Yoongi grimaces as another jolt of pain emanates from his therapist's efforts, but whining never earns him any slack during sessions, so he manages to stifle his whimper.
Carefully, Jungkook guides Yoongi's limp legs back down to the floor. "I know I'm straight but I can appreciate good looks. Except for those fake-ass tattoos though. What's that about?"
"Long story," Yoongi offers, breathing in deeply for as long as he can before Jungkook tries to turn him into a pretzel again.
Honestly, who doesn't try to remove their fake tattoos after three days? They're temporary for a reason.
"I'm sure." Jungkook claps his hands together eagerly. "Alright, so now that you're all stretched, why don't we give weight-bearing another try? Your thighs feel good and the muscle density is starting to come back."
Yoongi groans again, rocking his upper body back and forth until he can flop over onto his side. This earns him a scolding from the therapist.
"What did I tell you about doing that?" Jungkook snaps, leaning over to roll Yoongi back over on the rubber mat. "If you can't feel the muscles in your lower back, you could pull them without even knowing and—"
"That will pull my spine out of alignment," Yoongi finishes dryly, staring at the ceiling. "Well, that would be terrible wouldn't it? Because then I wouldn't be able to walk— Oh, wait."
Jungkook leans over the elder until he's completely obstructing Yoongi's vision. "What's going on with you? You've been doing so well, but these last couple of weeks it's like you've given up. Is this because of Jimin-hyung leaving?"
Throwing an arm over his eyes, Yoongi sighs. Everyone has been up his ass lately about Jimin leaving, wondering if Yoongi will finally explode with rage. Unfortunately, his preferred method of mourning is just being generally bitchy about everything. He gets this way sometimes and even though he knows it's stupid and irrational, he can't help himself.
"Of course it is," he finally relents when Jungkook won't move. "It's not enough that he's leaving me but he's being replaced by—"
"By a hot guy who Jimin-hyung says is really nice and qualified," Jungkook adds wryly. "Wow, you're life is so hard, hyung. I'm so sorry that your life has evolved into a drama."
Scowling, Yoongi pushes on Jungkook's chest until the younger moves away and then he rocks himself back and forth until his abs finally allow him to sit up.
That's at least one perk of his condition— he's pretty well built from the waist up and Jungkook's rehabilitation is to thank for it. There had been a time where Yoongi could only flop around like a fish, completely dependent on Jimin, but now he's re-learning how to orient himself in everyday life. Not that he still wouldn't rather have his legs back, but at least he's not a complete waste of space.
"Are we done now?"
Jungkook lets out a breathy laugh, checking the sporty smartwatch on his wrist. "Yeah, we can be done. You feel any nerve pain today?"
"Just a little during the stretch but it went away," Yoongi explains with a yawn. He always feels so drained after therapy sessions, but his body can't handle the load it once could. It's hard to believe Yoongi could stay up for days straight hopping from club to club with nothing but alcohol singing in his veins and greasy food sitting in his stomach.
Nodding, Jungkook enters in the details of their session on his phone. "Good. Now let's get you a shower. I bet you can't wait until tall, tanned, and handsome helps out."
Yoongi freezes, eyeing the doorway.
Shit, he forgot about Taehyung for the most part during their session, mostly referring to the man like he had been a fleeting guest in the house, but he's still here, shadowing Jimin despite the earlier fiasco at breakfast.
Where the hell did that guy get off anyway? Just because he won the stupid bet didn't mean that he was actually the right fit for the job and Yoongi was determined to make him see that. He supposes it's rather petty of him, but it's been quite awhile since anyone has called Yoongi's bluff and it's gotten under his skin.
"Hyung, you ok?" Jungkook is leaning down in front of him now. "You got really pale all of a sudden and then you just started frowning."
Yoongi opens his mouth to speak but voices bouncing down the hall interrupt him. Jungkook straightens up to greet the guests, introducing himself to Taehyung and chatting with Jimin about the session like usual.
"How long have you been Yoongi-ssi's therapist?" Taehyung asks and Yoongi rolls his eyes as Jimin helps him into his chair from the floor.
Chuckling, Jungkook smooths back his chocolate-colored hair. "Oh, Hyung went through a lot of people before he finally decided on me," he explains, looking over to Yoongi with a knowing grin. "But once he stopped being a sarcastic ass, everything worked out. That was nearly two years ago."
"He's still a sarcastic ass," Jimin supplies cheekily and Yoongi hits him on the arm as they begin to exit the room. "But like Jungkook-ah said, once he likes you, he won't let you leave."
Taehyung snorts out a laugh at this and Yoongi catches himself momentarily enraptured with the rich deep sound, but then he thinks better of it and pouts. "I'm right fucking here. Stop talking about me like I'm not even here."
"Fine," Jimin relents dramatically while pushing him down the hall and into the main room. "Once you like someone, you never let them go, right, Hyung?"
Taehyung looks over pointedly and Yoongi simply shrugs, ignoring the hopeful expression on the nurse's face.
Once the goodbyes are said to Jungkook, Jimin leads them towards the stairs. "Alright, so there's a chair lift and a ramp. The ramp is pretty steep and not practical sometimes, which is why we had the lift installed. But it's great if you need to get somewhere quickly. Just requires a little extra muscle, but I think Hyung prefers the lift, right?"
Normally, Yoongi would whole-heartedly agree, but as he looks over at Taehyung and his tall, lean form, he gets an idea. Jimin is a dancer and he loves accompanying Jungkook to the gym, so he's fairly strong, especially in his thighs, but the nurse is considerably less muscular, though it's hard to judge due to the roomy scrubs he's wearing.
Still, he can't deny this opportunity.
"Let's use the ramp," Yoongi suggests, looking over to Taehyung with wide eyes. "And let Taehyung-ah do it. He'll need practice anyway."
The nurse looks startled at this proposition, pointing to himself. "Me? You're actually going to let me do something?"
Yoongi doesn't miss the slight sarcasm in the question but he feigns innocence. "Of course. Come try it."
Reluctantly, Jimin lets go of the chair and Taehyung takes his place, pushing his weight against the chair in order to get it started up the ramp. Yoongi smirks as he barely moves, the effort obviously too much for the nurse.
"Is there a problem?" Yoongi practically sing-songs and Taehyung lets out a huff behind him.
Jimin stands awkwardly to the side, shifting on his feet. "We can use the lift if—"
"No," Taehyung grits out. "I got it. It's just—" he pauses then, leaning forward until his hands come to grip the chair's armrests and his face is practically in Yoongi's neck, "all about leverage." There's another grunt and then the chair is moving, quickly even, and Yoongi feels his eyes widen as he takes in the veins popping out of the nurse's forearms, sitting where Yoongi's own hands usually are.
"Nice try," Taehyung whispers, his hot breath ghosting over Yoongi's neck.
He feels himself grow hot underneath his meager gym clothes and he tells himself it's because of anger and not because he can't recall the last time someone's lips were near his neck.
Thankfully, the top of the ramp comes rather quickly and Taehyung leans back to be congratulated by Jimin who had followed them up via the stairs. The two men exchange high-fives and then Jimin takes over once more, moving towards Yoongi's bedroom.
"We always shower after therapy and then before bed if Hyung wants to," he tells Taehyung as they enter the room. "It's pretty simple really, just take him into the bathroom, help him get undressed and then make sure he gets into the shower chair and that he has everything close by. He'll yell when he's done and then you help him towel off, get dressed and then back into the wheelchair."
Taehyung nods along as if they're discussing business plans rather than Yoongi's modesty. Suddenly, he feels agitated, the earlier disturbance in the day reminding him that he doesn't want this stranger seeing him so vulnerable. Helping Yoongi around and feeding him was one thing, but this?
He has to make it stop.
"Actually, Kook-ah agreed to help me shower once you leave," Yoongi lies, rather smoothly for how anxious he feels inside. He never lies to Jimin, at least not about things like this, but this is an emergency.
Jimin furrows his brows, coming to stand in front of the bathroom. "Really? He didn't mention anything to me..."
"We just discussed it today. He's fine with it since he'll be here anyway and a shower a day is enough for me." Yoongi shrugs, trying to appear casual.
Blinking, Jimin seems to struggle with the idea. "Well, ok, that works then, but we'll show Taehyung-ah today just in case Jungkookie has to leave early one day."
Taehyung nods, moving towards the bathroom with Jimin and Yoongi panics. "There's no need," he practically spits out, hands gripping the armrests of his chair tightly. "It would just be waste of time and he can go introduce himself to Hobi when he gets here while he waits."
Jimin considers this, looking over to Taehyung with wide eyes. "Hobi-hyung won't be here for an hour and—"
"He's right," Taehyung speaks up, already moving to exit the room. "I'll just get more familiar with the apartment while you guys finish up. It's not a big deal." Before he leaves, the nurse catches Yoongi's gaze and all he sees there is pity.
"Are you sure?" Jimin calls out after the nurse but Taehyung is already moving through the door.
Yoongi feels relieved but also confused. Why would Taehyung help him out like that? Did Yoongi look that clearly distressed? Whatever the reason, he pushes the thoughts out of his mind as he completes his shower ritual, the very same one he has had for years now.
They remain quiet as Yoongi gets undressed and Jimin helps him into the shower chair. Underneath the hot spray of water, Yoongi looks himself over and scowls in disgust.
He's incredibly pale because he never goes out. He doesn't care to with all the stares and frustrated huffs he gets when trying to move around. People ask him when he will recover from whatever injury has him wheelchair-bound, but when they catch sight of his shriveled and atrophied legs dressed in baggy pant legs, they quickly shut their mouth and Yoongi can see the pity in their gazes.
Poor crippled Yoongi.
Halfway through his shower, Yoongi looks down at his manhood, flaccid and small, nestled between his legs beneath a tuft of curly black hair. Despite his biology being unharmed from the accident, this part of him may as well be considered just as useless as his legs. It's not like anyone would crave him physically when he's like this.
He wonders for a moment what Taehyung thinks, if the nurse sees him as another sad, sexless blob that gets pushed around all day just to be tucked into bed at night. Part of Yoongi doesn't believe this is the case, especially after the passionate way he had nodded along while Jimin explained why he chose to care for Yoongi.
But the other part of him wonders why he wouldn't. Everyone else thinks of Yoongi this way. They look at him and see nothing but a wasted life, a broken body. For the rest of the shower, Yoongi finds that impossibly, he wants to know who Taehyung sees when he looks at him.
After the shower, however, he's back to not giving a fuck.
When Jimin tugs on a clean pair of pants over Yoongi's lifeless legs, the younger man looks up at him with soft eyes. "I know this is hard on you, Hyung, but please give him a chance," he pleads. "It'll make me feel better to know that you're being taken care of while I'm gone. Besides, it's only for two months, then I'll be back to being a pain in your ass."
Yoongi can't help but laugh at this, bringing a hand to brush across Jimin's cheek. It's rare that they touch like this, but he's feeling needy after the long day and his friend has the softest skin. "You're not a pain in my ass," he finds himself whispering and Jimin pauses in the act of putting Yoongi's socks on.
"Hyung, just try. For me, ok? Promise me you won't punish somebody else for..." he trails off then, seemingly thinking better of the words, but Yoongi knows what he meant to say.
Don't punish somebody else for your mistake.
Sitting there while Jimin dresses him, Yoongi thinks it's not possible to do so, because he's already too occupied with punishing himself.
Taehyung will just have to be collateral damage.
"Ok, I'll try."
Yoongi lies.
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