Kabanata 13
Kabanata 13
I came home with a heavy heart, nanatiling sumusulyap sa akin si manong sa salamin habang umiiyak ako roon sa likod ng sasakyan.
My heart's been hurting, ang pakiramdam ko ay dinudurog ito sa pinakamaliliit na piraso. I still remember how he raised his voice at me and I was so scared and hurt.
I was such an embarassment! How can I ruin that party?
Sobrang hiyang-hiya sa sarili ko at ayaw ko nang magpakita sa kahihiyan.
Pinahiya ko si Thorn! He probably hates me now, he'll leave me! I knew it!
Gulat na gulat si Yaya pagkapasok ko sa bahay na ganoon ang itsura. Her mouth parted, nabakas ko ang pag-aalala sa mga mata niya roon.
"Anong nangyari, hija?" she asked worriedly, hindi ako umimik at nanatiling humihikbi lang. I saw her looked at manong who only shook his head with a sad face at nang bumaling muli siya sa akin ay nagsalita ako.
"A-ayos lang po ako, pasensya na..." I whispered softly at mabilis na umakyat sa kwarto.
I locked the door and went to the shower, kaagad akong naupo sa gilid ng banyo at hinayaan ang tubig na basain ako habang umiiyak roon.
I thought of all the scenarios I have in mind, the worst in fact.
Maybe, he'll push me away... But maybe, nadala lang siya ng damdamin niya.
Napapikit ako roon at may naisip na naman.
He was mad, he... he never screamed at me like that and that was the most hurtful words I've ever heard. Tanggap ko pa ang masasakit na salita mula sa mga magulang niya, pero ang galing sa kanya ay hindi ko kaya.
Pakiramdam ko ay sobra akong nanghihina. My knees were too weak to even stand up from the shower at nakatulala lang ako sa kulay puting tiles sa banyo.
I was too wasted, I can't feel anything habang iniisip ko ang lahat. Their words, the hatred his parents have for me, ang pagpapahiya ko kay Thorn. His words, si Mayor...
Napasandal ako at wala na sa sarili habang nakatulala roon, my shaking hands were still shaking with fear and cold.
I heard a knock on the door but I did nothing but to stare at it.
"Hija, ayos ka lang?" I heard Yaya's voice. "Tumawag si Thorn, tinatanong kung ayos ka lang ba raw..."
I smiled faintly, shaking my head.
No, I'm not alright...
"Hija?" aniya at muli akong kinatok.
"A-ayos lang po," sagot ko, pilit na pinapanormal ang boses.
"Sigurado ka?" aniya. "Umiyak ka, hija. Nag-aalala na si—"
"Opo, 'Ya..." malakas kong sabi. "H'wag n'yo na lang pong sabihing umiyak ako."
I heard her sigh.
"Kung ano mang problema n'yo ng alaga ko, pag-usapan n'yo 'yan, huh?"
"Opo..." sagot ko.
Nang magpaalam siya paalis ay 'tsaka lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag. I thought that was Thorn, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kung sakaling siya nga iyon.
I don't know how I'll talk to him sa kabila ng kagagawan ko. I was so ashamed, dahil sa takot ko ay nagulo ko nang hindi sinasadya ang pinaghandaan nila.
It was supposed to be a successful event but I... I ruined it.
Lumabas ako ng kwarto na balot ng robe, I changed my clothes and rest, I buried my face on my pillow and tried my best to sleep but I found myself crying again.
Sa sobrang pag-iyak ay hindi ko na namalayan na nakatulog ako and that night, the nightmares came and visited me.
I was in a place where I was alone, strangers were around me while I cried continuously. Begging someone to help me, begging anyone to hear my cries. I begged him to come back, but he just turned his back and left me there, alone, in the dark.
Kaagad akong napatayo at napahawak sa dibdib ko. My chest went up and down, catching my breath as I tried remembering very details of that nightmare.
I noticed that I was still on my room, the sunrays were visible on my sight, slightly sneaking on the curtains.
"Scira..." I jumped in shock and looked beside me. Kaagad na pumilantik ang puso ko nang makita si Thorn sa tabi ko.
"T-Thorn..." I murmured softly.
I saw his soft eyes, kaagad niya akong inabot pero napapiksi ako sa hawak niya at napaatras.
His mouth parted, nakita kong napakurap siya at binasa ang labi niya.
"Ayos ka lang?" he whispered. "Did you have a nightmare? Are you scared?"
I cleared my throat and lowered my head.
"I-I'm fine," bulong ko.
He sighed deeply as he moved closer, kaagad niyang hinagilap ang kamay ko at nagtatakang napatingin ako sa kanya.
"I'm sorry..." he breathed and sighed.
Hindi ako nagsalita, I remained looking at my hands with his, covering it and bit my lip.
"Scira," aniya. "I'm sorry, my queen..."
Nangilid ang luha ko sa boses niya, it was soft, like he was really sorry for what he did.
"I... I did not mean to shout at you, I was just shocked," paliwanag niya at muling lumapit. "Hey, baby..." aniya at hinagilap ang baba ko.
He tilted my chin and when our eyes met ay doon na tuluyang nalaglag ang mga luha ko.
"Fuck..." he cursed hardly and a sob escaped my lips. "Shit, Scira..." bulong niya at mabilis na inabot ang baywang ko sa isang yakap.
I cried on his shoulders, sa sobrang lakas nito ay halos mawalan na ako ng hangin.
"I'm sorry..." bulong niya sa akin at hinaplos ang likuran ko.
"I-I'm scared..." bulong ko at mas humigpit ang yakap sa akin ni Thorn.
"Sorry," bulong niya sa pagtahan. "Tahan na, mahal ko..."
"I-I ruined your party. S-sorry if I failed—"
"Sshh," bulong niya at isinubsob ang mukha sa balikat ko.
"It's me that failed, reyna," bulong niya. "Sorry if you got scared, hindi ko sinasadyang sigawan ka."
"B-but I was embarrassing..."
"I'm an asshole," bulong niya. "It's my fault. Sorry..."
Nanatili akong humikhikbi, I was clutching his shirt tightly as he caressed my back.
Nang hawakan niya ang balikat ko palayo ay kaagad niyang sinakop ang magkabilang pisngi ko. My eyes were hurt from the cries I had, namumula na ang ilong ko panigurado at nabakas ko ang lungkot sa mga mata ni Thorn habang nakamasid sa akin.
"Damn..." bulong niya at ipinikit ang mata. Mas hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko at idinikit ang noo sa noo ko.
"I'm really sorry, my queen..." bulong niya. "I messed up."
Hindi ako umimik doon, I was still sobbing and he remained looking at me with those soft eyes.
Inabot ko ang kamay niya sa pisngi ko at humugot ng hininga.
"H-hindi ka ba galit sa akin?" bulong ko.
"No..." aniya. "I just... Nothing..."
Inabot niya ang kamay ko at hinalikan ang palad ko. He kissed my fingers while looking straight in my eyes, hinawi niya ang luha sa pisngi ko bago humalik sa noo ko.
"I'm sorry again," aniya at hinawi ang buhok ko. "I made you cry. Would you give me this day so I can make it up to you?"
I nodded softly and I saw his eyes lighten up, he smiled sincerely and nodded.
"Thank you," bulong niya at inayos ang buhok ko paalis sa mukha ko.
That morning, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Inaalalayan niya ako pababa ng hagdan, he was holding my hand real tight, his thumb slowly caressing the back of my palm.
"Oh, gising na kayo!" kaagad kaming sinalubong ni Yaya pagkababa namin.
"Good morning," Thorn greeted her. Napatingin si Yaya sa akin pabalik kay Thorn at napatingin sa kamay naming dalawa.
"Asus, ang mga batang ito." Iling niya at matapos ay ngumiti. "Mabuti at maayos na kayo."
"It's my fault, Ya," ani Thorn at sumulyap sa akin. Ngumuso naman ako at tumungo.
"Dapat lang na ayusin n'yo 'yan. Umuwi si Scira rito nang umiiyak, ang kalat din niya kagabi," ani Yaya at mas humigpit ang hawak sa akin ni Thorn at marahang inabot ang baywang ko at doon siya humawak.
"I'll make it up to her," aniya.
"Asus, kung alam mo lang, Scira," ani Yaya kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. "Pagkauwi niyan dito kagabi, pinuntahan ako sa kwarto para tanungin kung ayos ka lang tapos pagkasabi kong oo ay kumaripas ng takbo pataas."
Napatingin ako kay Thorn at nakita kong ngumuso lang siya at lumunok.
"I'm worried..." ani Thorn at natawa si Yaya at umiling.
"Ay naku, siya, kumain na kayong dalawa. H'wag na kayo mag-away ulit, huh?" aniya at iniwan kami roon.
Nang makaalis si Yaya ay nagkatinginan kami ni Thorn. He kissed my head and guided me to the table.
Ipinag-angat niya ako ng upuan at kaagad siyang tumabi sa akin. I just watched him as he prepared my foods, inilagay niya ang fried rice sa plato ko kasama ang bacons doon.
He gave me a glass of milk at kaagad na ngumiti sa akin bago naupo sa tabi ko.
"Let's eat?" aniya at nang tumango ako at ngumiti ay napatawa siya at muli akong niyakap.
"I love you, Scira," he whispered. "Sorry again."
That day, nag-bonding lang kaming dalawa. When he told me he'll make it up to me, he really did. Walang nasayang na oras nang araw na iyon.
We watched movies, watered the plants, swam on his pool and ate snacks.
Gumaan ang dibdib ko sa effort niya para lang makabawi and in my heart, mas matimbang pa rin ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya. I trust him too much and I will hold unto that.
Hindi siya mahiwalay sa akin, saglit lang siyang mawawala at maya-maya'y didikit na naman at magpapapansin. He never stopped saying his sincere sorry and kisses me every chance he got and that night, we were cuddling on his bed.
Nakahiga ako sa braso niya at nakayakap siya sa baywang ko. His bare chest was on my sight, ang kamay ko'y marahang humahaplos sa manipis na balahibo roon.
"Reyna ko..." I looked at him and found him staring intently at me.
"Hmm?" I asked and smiled a little.
"I'm sorry again," mahinang bulong niya.
"Ayos lang..." bulong ko at matamis na ngumiti. "It's my fault anyway."
"No," aniya. "It's mine, I shouldn't have shouted at you, masyado akong nadala sa damdamin. I got carried away, that's why I did that but still, it wasn't right to raise my voice at you. You tripped and fell and what did I do? Blamed you for my incompetence."
"It's fine," mahinang sagot ko at ngumiti ulit. "I understand you, Thorn. Alam ko namang hindi mo iyon sinasadya."
"I promise not to do that again," aniya at pinisil ang ilong ko. "I cannot let you cry again like that, ang sama ko."
Hindi naman na ako nagsalita roon at ipinikit lang ang mga mata ko.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Thorn," bulong ko. "It was actually my first time so I don't know what I'll do about this but I know I have to say this to you."
"I love you too," bulong niya. "Don't do anything about it, just love me and I'm good at that."
I smiled and reached for his lips, kaagad naman siyang tumungo at muli ako hinagkan. He kissed me tenderly, slowly but deeply. He made me feel his kisses more, he let me feel his love for me.
Nang maghiwalay ay naghabol kami ng hininga, I smiled at him at ngumiti rin siya sa akin at hinawakan ang batok ko para hagkan ang noo ko.
"I'll be at Manila tomorrow, baby," aniya at kaagad akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya.
"Why?" I asked him.
"The project," he sighed. "I never wanted to leave you here but I have to. Ako ang inaasahan ni Dad dahil ako ang nakausap ni Mr. Sandejas."
"Oh..." I nodded, slightly disappointed.
"What happened last night," aniya at sumulyap sa akin. "They were mad at that at ayokong namang magalit sila ulit at idamay ka pa."
"Sorry, kung hindi siguro ako nag-panic..."
"What happened, anyway? Why did that happened?" takang tanong niya. I stared at him and I stilled at that.
I opened my mouth to speak but I think that wasn't a good idea after all, ayokong maging abala sa iniisip niya.
"Nothing," I smiled a little. "I just thought I saw something scary..."
"Ghost?" gulat niyang sabi. I chuckled and shook my head.
"Wala 'yon," sagot ko. "Just do your best, okay?"
"I will..." he smiled.
I watched as he left the house with his car, I was sad but I understand him. He needs to please his parents again after what I did last night.
Ayokong magbago ang pananaw nila kay Thorn. They already trust their son and I was really happy for that, ayokong mawala iyon dahil lang sa akin.
For days, we video-call. He'll tell me the things he did and I will tell him mine. Simpleng bagay lang naman ang ginagawa ko, it's either I'll cook, help clean the house, sleep, go out with Ate Gwy or read on his library.
He excels most in talking to people, ang sabi niya sa akin ay bukod kay Mr. Sandejas ay may iilang kilalang tao rin ang gustong makisosyo sa ospital na itatayo sa Maynila. After all, he's a psychiatrist, he can talk to those people skillfully.
He'll just apply what he was always doing to his patients at makakagaanan na siya nito ng loob. That's an advantage for him, Thorn's a great speaker. Titingin ka lang sa mata niya at alam mong sinsero siya sa mga sinasabi niya.
Days passed, I began missing him more. Halos dalawang linggo na kaming hindi nagkikita at hindi na nakakapag-usap.
He usually tells me he's busy every time I'll try calling him, minsan naman ay si Dra. Katrin ang sasagot at kahit masakit ay nagtitiwala ako kay Thorn.
No one believed me but he did so I am giving him my trust.
"Hindi ka na busy mamaya?" I asked him.
"I'm sorry, Scira..." he sighed. "I can't promise to call later, marami akong gagawin."
My heart fell at that, mas masakit nga lang ngayon kasi ilang linggo na ang nakalipas. Parang mababaliw na ako kakaisip kung kumusta na siya, I wanted so bad to see him again.
"Ganoon ba?" I whispered.
"Yes, I'm sorry." he sighed.
"Hey, Thorn, let's eat?" I stopped when I heard a voice on the other line, this seems familiar.
"Uh, yes, Kat..." aniya at nakagat ko ang labi ko roon sa sakit ng dibdib ko.
"T-Thorn?"
"Sorry, I gotta go..." The line went off pero nanatiling hawak ko iyon. Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa telepono at napahugot ng hininga.
Magkasama ulit sila? I smiled bitterly, he said, they're just friends... Wala naman sigurong masama roon, 'di ba?
A week passed, yet we barely spoke to each other. Na-e-excite lang akong maisip na birthday ko na bukas!
Tomorrow is March 21, this was the birth date we made up. Ito ang araw na natagpuan ako nina Nanay sa may bangin.
I was looking forward for tomorrow, although, I wasn't sure if he'll come home, since wala naman ata siyang balak at hindi pa niya ako nasasabihan.
Ayokong isiping nakalimutan niya ang araw na ito, he promised me he'll make this day memorable for me since it's the first time I'll celebrate my birthday.
Noong gabi pa lang ay nagsindi ako ng dalawang kandila para sa mga magulang ko. I stayed on the garden and prayed for their souls, I thanked them for everything, for keeping me for years, for taking care of me for years.
Pumasok lang ako pabalik sa bahay nang maupos ang kandila at may ngiting pumunta sa kwarto ko.
I dialed my phone to call and ask Thorn about tomorrow but his phone was unattended. Sinubukan kong kausapin siya at kumustahin sa text pero wala rin akong natanggap na mensahe pabalik.
I pouted, ang sabi naman ni Yaya ay maayos naman doon si Thorn. Ate Gwy also told me that their parents were proud of Thorn and for what he can do now kaya roon ako nakakabalita sa kanya.
I laid on the bed with my phone beside me, waiting for Thorn's call but I fell asleep without it by my side.
The next morning, I was expecting a sad day but I was wrong.
My eyes widened when I saw arms wrapped around my waist, kaagad akong napahawak doon at mabilis na pumihit.
I was startled when I saw Thorn beside me, he was asleep. Kaagad na kumalabog ang puso ko habang nakamasid sa kanya.
He looks tired, nakapikit ang mga mata niya habang nakahiga sa tabi ko at nakayakap sa baywang ko.
"Thorn?" I whispered, still amazed that he is here.
"Hmm..." he hummed. I smiled, kaagad ko siyang niyakap at hinalikan sa pisngi.
"You're here!" I cheered.
He smiled, bumukas ang isang mata niya bago tumawa at inabot ang labi ko. He planted a small kiss on my lips and stared at me with his lazy eyes.
"I just missed you," he whispered.
Kumalabog ang dibdib ko sa sinabi niya at nakagat ang labi ko. I excitedly stared at him and speak.
"Did you came here with a reason?" I asked. "May event ba, or something?" nagbabakasali kong tanong.
"Event?" his forehead creased. "Hmm, wala naman..."
Natahimik ako, hindi niya naalalang birthday ko ngayon?
He stared at me, I saw his confused face as he reached for my cheek and caressed it.
"Why are you sad?" malambing niyang sabi. "Did I do something wrong?"
I pouted, magsasalita na sana ako pero muli siyang nagsalita.
"I came here 'cause I missed you and we'll go to different places later!" ngisi niya. My mouth parted, kaagad akong bumalikwas ng higa sa kama at excited na pumalakpak.
"Really? Saan?" I giggled.
He remained staring at me, his mouth twitching for a smile. Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa akin na parang kinakabisado ang bawat parte nito kaya ngumiti ako.
"Why?" I asked. His brow lifted, he shook his head, chuckling as he reached for my jaw.
"Wala lang," aniya. "I just want to remember every angle of your face so I won't miss you that much."
"Grabe 'to!" I hissed. Tumawa siya at pinisil ang pisngi ko, mabilis siyang naupo sa kama at pinantayan ako.
"Prepare some clothes, hmm?" aniya sa isang maliit na ngiti.
"Okay!" I cheered and smiled.
Inabot naman niya ang ulo ko, he tapped my head at humaba lang ang nguso ko roon.
"Pa-kiss nga, reyna ko," he said and reached for my face kaya kaagad ko siyang tiningala.
"Mwuah!" I gave him a peck, may sound effects pa iyon kaya tumawa siya at hinalikan ang noo ko.
"I missed you so much," aniya. "Let's make this day memorable, alright?"
"Alright!" I cheered and walked out of the bed. He was smiling as he glanced at me preparing my things for taking a bath at nang magkatinginan pa kami ay kumindat siya.
I wore a simple, yet pretty white dress for our getaway. I wore a comfy flat sandals and let my hair fall freely on my back. Inilagay ko sa isang hindi kalakihang bag ang iilang damit para sa sinabi niya kanina at malaki ang ngiti habang bumababa sa hagdanan.
I saw him sitting on the sofa, nasa tainga niya ang telepono habang nagtitipa sa laptop niya. I saw a handful of papers on the table and I felt sad looking at him so busy that he doesn't have enough time for himself.
Marahan akong lumapit sa kanya. He looked up at me and smiled.
Isinara niya ang laptop niya bago ilahad ang kamay sa akin. Nagtatakang inabot ko iyon, I was startled when he pulled me on his lap kaya napaupo ako roon.
"Hmm," aniya sa kausap sa telepono.
Nanatiling nakaupo ako sa hita niya at pinagmasdan siya. He caressed my waist, sumandal naman ako sa kanya at bahagya siyang yumakap sa akin habang nakikipag-usap.
"I already talked to him, ayusin n'yo na lang ang mga materyales," sagot niya sa kausap. Sumandal siya sa sofa kasama ako at nangingiti lang ako roon.
I missed him so much, sana ay ganito na lang kami palagi.
"Yes, inform them of the upcoming board meeting," aniya at nang magsalubong ang mata namin ay ngumuso siya. I chuckled and pressed a soft kiss on his lips at kaagad siyang nangiti roon at humalik sa pisngi ko.
"Okay..." he turned his phone off and hugged me closer to his body. "You ready, baby?" aniya. I nodded.
"Yes! Ready na!" I cheered. Nailing siya sa akin, nagtatago ng ngiti. He bit his lip and hugged me, isinubsob niya ang ulo sa pagitan ng leeg ko at humugot ng hininga.
"Tired ka?" I asked him worrying.
"Hmm..." he nodded at napabuntonghininga ako roon. "But I'll be fine, just let me hold you."
My heart thumped wildly, bahagya akong humarap sa kanya at niyakap ang leeg niya. I kissed his head and smiled sweetly.
"You did a great job, Thorn! I'm proud of you," bulong ko.
"Thanks..." he whispered, caressing my hand. "I love you."
My heart melted, kinagat ko ang labi ko para hindi magpahalata at sumagot.
"Mahal din kita," sagot ko. "Sana ganito lang tayo palagi, 'no?"
I saw his eyes shift from emotion to one, as if there were words he could not say.
"Sana..." he answered, smiling sadly.
"Today, I want us to be together. Just you and me. That's all that matters," he whispered.
Magkahawak-kamay kaming naglakad patungo sa sasakyan, he opened the door for me and smirked.
"Kindly, my queen..." he offered the door.
Natawa ako, I even flipped my hair and entered the car kaya natawa siya at mabilis na tumakbo sa kabilang side ng sasakyan.
He even fixed my seatbelt once he got inside and drove the car, holding my hand any chance he got.
I was excited the whole ride, huli na nang malaman kong sa isang amusement park kami pupunta kaya sobrang saya ko.
"Oh, my god!" I cheered and jumped up and down.
"You like it?" he asked me, smiling and I nodded happily and gave him a thumbs up.
"Yes! I've been wanting to see this! Hindi ko naman in-e-expect na ngayon iyon!" I cheered.
"Well, let's make this memorable, shall we?" ngisi niya at kaagad akong tumango.
May inilagay na parang bracelet sa kamay namin at nang makapasok ay kaagad siyang umakbay sa akin.
Like a kid, I strolled around the place with him, following me everywhere. Sinundan niya ang lahat ng kalokohan ko, we laughed our hearts out as we watched the clowns.
Naglibot-libot din kami sa mga rides at sumakay. We rode the extreme rides and that was fun! Thorn, on the other hand, was pale when we finished the roller coaster kaya nag-alala ako.
"Are you fine?" I asked, panicking. Lumubo ang pisngi niya at ipinikit ang mata.
He nodded, mas humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko kaya napalabi ako.
"Thorn?" I called him but he suddenly run. Nagulat ako roon at mabilis na sumunod sa kanya.
He's vomiting!
"Oh, my god!" I exclaimed, kaagad kong hinaplos ang likuran niya at napahawak siya sa basurahan at mas nagsuka.
Pinagtitinginan na kami dahil sa kanya at nanatili akong hinahaplos ang likuran niya.
I saw him close his eyes kaya kaagad ko siyang inalalayan at inabot ang panyo ko, I cleaned his mouth and he remained staring at me as I did that.
Panaka-naka kong hinahaplos ang buhok niya at nakita ko ang kislap sa mga mata niya.
"Ayos ka lang?" I asked him softly.
"Ayos na..." aniya at ngumiti. "Just don't let me ride that damn thing again." Ngiwi niya kaya natawa ako at tumango sa kanya.
Nang magbanyo siya ay bumili ako ng cotton candy na kulay pink at hugis baboy at naupo sa bench habang inaantay siya.
I was moving my feet back and forth, I had fun today!
Kahit hindi pa niya ako binabati sa birthday ko ay sulit na sulit na. I was thinking that maybe, he really did remember it. Ayaw lang aminin sa akin.
He made this event perfect for me. I'll never forget this!
Nang kumagat ako ng cotton candy ay nakita kong lumabas siya galing banyo. Wearing only his black shirt, pants, and a jacket, he's a head turner.
Pinagtitinginan siya roon pero wala roon ang pansin niya. I saw him talking to someone on his phone, his forehead creased and his lips were on a thin line.
I smiled and waved at him, his lips lifted and waved his hand back. Nakita kong nawala ang inis sa mukha niya at mabilis na ibinulsa ang telepono at nag-jog palapit.
"Hi!" he exclaimed and sat beside me, nilingon ko siya, nakita kong sumulyap siya sa baboy na hawak ko at ngumuso.
"Pig, huh?" he grinned.
"It's cute, eh!" ngiti ko at inilapit sa kanya ang cotton candy. He ate it and I watched him as he nodded his head.
"Masarap?" I asked. Hindi niya ako sinagot, kumagat muling ako sa cotton candy at hindi ko pa nakakain nang buo ang parte nito nang hapitin niya ang baywang ko.
I gasped when he gripped my waist, my eyes widened when he ate the side of the cotton candy that hasn't been eaten yet from my mouth.
"Thorn!" I screamed at tinakpan ang bibig ko. He laughed, his lovely baritone voice roared as his shoulders moved.
"Masarap nga," aniya at tinaas ang kilay niya. Lumabi ako, ngumuya naman siya at muling humirit.
"Pero mas masarap ka..." bigla akong napaubo, natawa naman siya lalo at hinampas ko ang hita niya ng paulit-ulit.
"Kasi naman," reklamo ko. Nag-init ang pisngi sa kalokohan niya.
"Hindi, ayoko na..." tawa niya at yumakap sa akin, I smiled when he hugged me tightly. He settled himself on the gap of my neck and I caressed his hair slowly.
"Thorn?" I called him.
"Yes, baby?" he whispered, sighing.
"Why are you so clingy today?" bulong ko.
"Don't you like me clingy, hmm?" he whispered. I smiled, shaking my head.
"No, I like it that way," bulong ko.
"Just let me hold you, Scira," bulong niya. "Please..."
"I won't stop you," sabi ko sa kanya pabalik.
"Thank you..." aniya at nanahimik roon, hinagilap niya ang kamay ko at hinaplos ito. I watched him as he filled the spaces in between my fingers with his and smiled sadly.
"When you feel alone, just look at the spaces in between your fingers and remember that's where mine fits perfectly," he murmured.
My forehead creased.
"Why are you saying this?" I asked him.
"I just missed you so much, reyna ko," he held my chin and stared intently in my eyes.
I suddenly felt my heart constricting in pain. Sumikip iyon habang nakatingin sa kanya at hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit.
Inabot niya ang cotton candy sa kamay ko, he placed it back to its plastic and put it beside him.
Nanatiling nakatingin ako sa kanya, he held my cheek and caressed it while looking deeply in my eyes.
We stared into each other's eyes and just like a song with the same melody, our lips met in the briefest instance.
He kissed me softly like he never did before and bit my lip. It was as if the worlds that were separated from each other collided.
His hand found its way to my cheek. His kisses felt different, it screamed with different unknown emotions. It was sad, longing... I don't know. Parang sumisikip ang dibdib ko.
I moved closer and as I responded to his kisses, the fireworks lit and made a sound. Making different, beautiful colors in the dark, dull sky.
Kaagad niyang idinikit ang noo niya sa noo ko at tinitigan ang mata ko, catching for my breath, I smiled at him.
That time, we watched the fireworks in the sky with my heart full of love. He made this day special for me and I couldn't thank him enough.
Later at ten, we rode his car, ang sabi niya ay may pupuntahan kaming dalawa. I was humming and moving my head with the beautiful song from his playlist.
I felt his stares at me at kapag nahuhuli ko siya ay malaki akong ngingiti.
He reached for my hand, kaagad ko namang inabot ang kamay ko sa kanya at dinala niya iyon sa labi niya. I felt it slightly trembled. I didn't ask. Ipinatong niya ang kamay ko sa kambyo na nasa kamay niya at hinayaan lang ito roon.
My stares remained at him and we stopped in an unknown place. Kaagad na inilibot ko ang tingin ko roon at nilingon siya.
"Where are we?" I asked him curiously.
He just stared at me, his eyes soft.
"Bus station..." he answered me. I nodded and smiled.
"Dito tayo ngayon?" I asked.
He nodded, still not smiling so I cheered him up.
"Excited na ako! Tara na?" aya ko at kinuha ang kamay ko mula sa kanya. I removed my seatbelt and opened the door. I was on the verge of going out when he pulled my arm back.
Napabalik ako sa upuan ko at nagulat nang yumakap siya sa likuran ko. I was confused kaya nilingon ko siya.
"Thorn?"
"Wait..." he breathed, hiding his face on my hair. "Let me hold you..."
Hindi ako kumibo roon at hinayaan siya. We remained sitting like that, me confused and him, sighing deeply.
"Thorn..." I murmured.
He trembled again. His body tensed up as his hold on me tightened.
"Why are you trembling–"
"Let's go," aniya at humiwalay sa akin. Nang titigan ko siya ay nag-iwas siya ng tingin sa akin at lumabas ng sasakyan.
I went out, dinala ko ang bag ko at hinawi ang buhok ko. I fixed my white dress and followed him.
Nauuna siya sa akin kaya tumakbo ako pakapit sa braso niya. He stared at that, nakita kong bumaba ang tingin niya sa hawak ko bago ito abutin mula sa akin.
He caught my fingers and intertwined it, marahang humahaplos ang daliri niya sa palad ko at nanatili akong nakangiti.
My heart was full of joy and love.
Best birthday ever!
I looked around me, I saw people on their seats, may mga dala silang bag na malalaki at nakaupo roon. Kaunti na lang din ang tao dahil sa oras at nakita ko ang mga nakapilang bus doon sa malayo.
Thorn remained silent beside me, mukhang malalim ang iniisip kaya hindi ko siya ginulo. Saan kaya ang punta namin? Will we go to the most beautiful places here?
Nang makarating kami sa isang walang taong bench sa isang gilid ay marahang inalalayan niya ako paupo. I sat there, sitting comfortably. Nakita kong inilagay niya ang bag ko sa may isang gilid ko at lumuhod sa harapan ko.
I watched him as he held my feet softly and changed my sandals to a comfy slippers.
"May paltos ka..." mahinang sabi niya habang nakatungo. My heart jumped and loved him more for his gentleness.
"Thank you." I smiled. Hindi siya sumagot, he kept the sandals with him and looked up at me.
"My queen," he whispered, his voice laced with loneliness.
"Yes?" I asked and caressed his cheek. "Bakit ka sad?"
"Hmm, I just..." he bit his lip and hesitated.
"Aalis lang ako saglit, may naiwan ako sa opisina..." aniya habang nakatitig sa akin.
"Oh?" gulat kong sabi. "Then, kunin natin..."
"No," he sighed and gulped. "Ako lang, you stay here para mas mabilis tayo..."
"Huh?" gulat kong sabi at inilibot ang tingin ko. "But—"
"Mabait naman ang mga tao rito," aniya. Naguguluhang tumango ako at kinagat ang labi ko.
"Saglit ka lang?" I asked him.
"Hmm..." he nodded and smiled at me but it wasn't that sincere.
"Sige..." I nodded. "Balik ka kaagad, hmm?"
He lowered his head, nanatili siyang nakaluhod roon sa harapan ko at hinagilap ang mga daliri ko.
Hinaplos niya ang kamay ko at hinalikan ang bawat daliri ko, I was looking at him but my heart was thumping wildly. It was hurting. Maya-maya pa ay naramdaman ko ang basa sa kamay ko kaya nagulat ako.
"T-Thorn?" I whispered. He looked at me and my mouth parted when I saw a tear on his cheek. "W-why..."
He pulled me for a hug, kaagad ko siyang niyakap pabalik kahit na naguguluhan sa kanya.
"Why are you crying?" I asked. He didn't answer me and squeezed me tightly, holding me close to his chest.
"Why are you like that?" he shook his head and pulled away, hinagilap niya ang pisngi ko at dinampian ng halik ang labi ko bago mariing pumikit.
"I'll go..." aniya. Lumayo siya sa akin at hinubad ang jacket niya, ipinatong niya iyon sa balikat ko at hinawi ang buhok ko.
"Dito ka lang, huh?" malambing niyang sabi.
"Of course..." I nodded, ngumiti pa rin ako kahit nagtataka. He looked at me intently and showed me his sincere smile.
"Take care..." aniya and handed me a single stem of a red rose. I nodded, kaagad kong inamoy ang rosas at nasiyahan sa amoy nito.
Tumayo siya sa harapan ko at pinat ang ulo ko. I looked up at him, his eyes were midnight black but never failed to brought colors to my life.
"You did a great job, my queen," he said.
"I'm so proud of you too, Thorn. You are the best, I love you very, very much." His eyes glistened, nakita kong kumislap ang mga luha roon pero nag-iwas siya ng tingin at tinanggal ang salamin niya.
"I gotta go..." mabilis niyang sinabi.
"Okay, ingat." I smiled cheekily. "You'll be back, right?"
He stared at me, he opened his mouth to speak but stopped and smiled instead.
"Goodbye, Scira..." he said sadly and turned his back at me. He walked away from me and I suddenly felt my heart getting heavier and heavier.
"Thorn..." bulong ko. "Thorn!" sigaw ko pero hindi na siya muling lumingon sa akin pabalik.
Hindi na ako nakaimik roon, I remained seated in there. Kipkip ko ang bag ko ay nanatili akong nakaupo habang hawak ang rosas na ibinigay niya.
My heart's been beating painfully but I stayed calm. I breathe hard, ipinalibot ko ang tingin ko at nakitang nawawala na isa-isa ang mga tao.
I shivered when the cold air touched my skin, binalot ko ang katawan ko gamit ang jacket ni Thorn at pinaglaruan ang rosas sa kamay ko.
I stayed there but hours passed and he still wasn't back. The people slowly disappearing from my sight, iilan na lang ang naiwan dito at nakaramdam ako ng takot at kaba roon.
"Nasaan ka na, Thorn..." bulong ko sa hangin. Mas lumamig ang hangin kaya mas iniayos ko ang jacket at tumingin sa paligid.
Inilabas ko ang phone ko at kaagad na nagtipa ng mensahe.
To: My King
Where are you? Come back, please... I'm scared.
I saw a bunch of men staring at me, nakita kong nagbubulungan sila habang nakatingin sa akin kaya kinakabahan na ako. Malagkit ang tingin nila sa akin kaya sobra ang kalabog ng puso ko.
I texted him the same message and waited but I didn't receive any replies.
"Thorn..." I whispered. Nangingilid na ang luha ko.
I saw one of the man walking towards me, hindi ako tumingin roon at tumungo.
"Hello, Miss? Mag-isa ka?" he asked maliciously.
Hindi ako sumagot doon at nanatiling nakatungo. I clutched my bag tightly on my chest as it beat wildly.
"Miss, h'wag ka nang mahiya..." aniya. Nang tumabi siya sa akin ay naramdaman ko ang panginginig ng kamay ko.
"Saan ba ang punta mo, huh? Hatid ka na namin," tumawa siya.
"M-may kasama po ako," sagot ko.
"Talaga, Miss? Nasaan?" aniya at luminga sa paligid.
"B-babalik na siya," sagot ko at ikinubli ang kamay kong nanginginig sa bag ko.
Thorn, Thorn, please come back...
"Ayos lang 'yan, Miss. Sumama ka na lang sa amin," he touched my legs kaya napapiksi ako at napaiyak.
"D-don't touch me!" I exclaimed.
Please... Please, Thorn...
"Woah, mukhang mayaman. Jackpot!" tawa nito at muli akong hahawakan nang may sumigaw kung saan.
"Hoy! Magsiuwian na nga kayo!" I was expecting it to be Thorn but I was disappointed when I saw the guard approaching.
Mabilis na nagsitakbuhan ang mga lalaki palayo at naiwan ako roong nanginginig sa takot.
"Naku, hija!" gulat na sabi ng guard.
Kinagat ko ang labi ko para hindi mapahagulgol.
"Ayos ka lang, hija?" The guard asked me and I nodded slowly, doing my best to be strong kahit takot na takot na ako.
"O-opo..." I answered and heaved a deep breath. Hinawi ko ang luha ko at sumulyap sa kanya.
He looked good but the nervousness and the fear I felt didn't lessen.
"Ikaw ba si Scira, hija?" aniya.
"O-opo..." I nodded slowly, confused.
"May nagpapabigay nga pala..." aniya. Naguguluhan kong kinuha sa kanya ang sobre.
"K-kanino po galing?" I asked. My heart beating fast in pace.
"Hindi ko kilala, matangkad na lalaki, eh." My heart quickened, humigpit ang hawak ko sa sobre at mabilis na tumango.
"S-salamat po..."
"Sige, mag-iingat ka..." aniya at iniwan ako.
With my shaking hand, I opened the envelope at nanlaki ang mata ko nang makita ang makapal na lilibuhing pera sa loob nito.
My hand shook harder this time, kaagad kong inabot ang ibang laman ng envelope at nakitang isang piraso iyon ng papel at isang ticket sa bus.
Natulala ako sa papel na hawak ko at dahan-dahang binuksan. I saw a handwritten letter and I could feel my heart beat... every single pound in my chest.
Please, leave. I'm sorry but I won't be back. Goodbye.
My eyes dripped with tears. My walls, the walls that were holding me up, making me stronger just... collapsed.
"N-no..." I whispered, sobbing. "T-this isn't him..."
Mahal niya ako, he won't leave me! He'll come back! He promised me he'll stay whatever what happened!
My body felt numb but I did my best to get my phone and called him. I was sobbing hard, moments later, they fell. Salty drops fell from my chin, drenching my dress.
It was still ringing, I was biting my lip and cried like a lost child.
The ringing stopped and my breath hitched and with a shaking voice, I spoke.
"T-Thorn..." pumiyok ang boses ko. "N-nasaan ka na?"
I heard his deep breath, hindi siya sumagot and I cried more.
"B-babalik ka, 'di ba?" bulong ko. "P-please, baby, come back..." I said, begging. "I'm scared..."
"Leave me alone..." his cold voice stopped me.
"T-Thorn..."
"I'm done with you, Scira." He said.
"N-no..." I sobbed. "Y-you're joking right? N-nasaan ka na? H'wag mo naman akong lokohin nang ganyan—"
"Do I sound like I'm joking?" he said sharply and I clutched my chest. My hand formed a fist as I muffled my cries.
"T-Thorn..."
"I'm marrying someone," he said.
"S-sabi mo... S-sabi mo, mahal mo ako?" bulong ko. "Y-you said you'll stay with me?"
"My parents doesn't want you," aniya. "I'm sorry..." mahinang sabi niya.
The words punched through, ripping through my muscles, heart, and guts. I felt like I will vomit. I pressed my forehead against my palm and began to let my heart yank in and out of my chest. Halos hindi na ako makahinga sa pananakit ng aking dibdib.
"I-I promised you, Thorn..." bulong ko. "I-I promised you I'll stay with you unless you'll let me go away."
"Then go away," he said harshly. "I can't take care of you. Leave. I don't want to see you anymore..."
As much as I tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. I wanted to scream but no words came out from my mouth.
"I-I love you..." I whispered weakly.
He remained silent, hearing my silent cries before deciding to speak.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered and ended the call.
My hand fell, bumagsak ang telepono sa lapag at humagulgol ako habang sapo ang mukha ko.
My noisy sobs filled the place, I did not care who was looking as I cried my empty heart out. The walls he built inside me crumpled down.
The muffled sobs wracked against my chest, destroying everything inside me. Kinuyom ko ang nanginginig kong kamay at inilagay sa dibdib ko at mapait na ngumiti habang hilam sa luha ang mga mata.
I stared at the bus ticket on my hand and with my shaking feet, I stood up, walked towards the direction where people are going.
"Maynila! Maynila!" the man from the bus shouted. "Huling biyahe na!"
I walked and gave him my ticket, nagtataka man sa akin ay inabot niya ang ticket ko at tumango.
"Sige, Miss, pasok na," he guided me towards the bus and I sat on my assigned seat and stared at nowhere.
"Happy birthday, Scira..." I whispered with a lone tear in my eyes.
How memorable this day was. I never knew that the birth of my second life will also be the death of it.
Maybe, in the end, I was meant to be alone... No one will ever love me. No one will ever accept me.
The last painful emotion slammed against me before I lost the feeling of feeling.
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