Rejected
I know boys like you prefer better looking girls than me. You are a handsome man that can drop the panties of every woman in just one stare. You're too gorgeous, you're too handsome.
And me? I am just an average girl who has an ugly face, and I also don't have a sexy body. I'm not gorgeous as you, I'm not beautiful nor cute. I don't have a good physical characteristic trait that I can be proud of.
Why would I hope? Bakit pa ako aasa na pwedeng magkaroon ng tayo? Bakit pa ako aasa na magugustuhan mo ako? Why would I hope?
Alam ko na.
Itinatak ko na sa isipan ko na imposibleng mangyari ang bagay na iyon, ang magustuhan mo ako. Too imposible, malabo pa sa sobrang labo.
Sa Wattpad lang naman kasi nagkakaroon ng ka-forever ang mga panget na katulad ko. Sa Wattpad lang.
But you said you love how I looked. At first, I didn't believe in you. I keep on telling you how ugly I am, but you keep on saying that I'm not.
There's a part of me that wants to believe you, but I know to myself that you're just saying that to feel me better, you are just saying that to cut out my self-pity.
'I'm ugly. I'm sure you won't like my face' For the ninth time, I typed while sighing.
'Don't say that. You don't know what I like.' you said that. Did you know that it's has a double meaning for me?
Then you told me that you want to have a girlfriend like me? Did you know that words that you said gives me hope?
When you said that I smiled. I can't help but to smile and bit my lower lips because of so much tingle.
It's makes my heart beats faster than it's normal beat. That words makes my face become red. It's makes me blushed.
What if you're saying that because you like me? What if you really want me to become your girlfriend?
But later on I smiled sadly. I know it's not true. I know that there's a big possiblity that you're just joking. Na hindi iyon ang tunay na ipinapahiwatig mo.
Maniniwala na sana ako, pero alam kong hindi totoo. Alam kong napipilitan ka na lang reply-an ang mga mensahe ko. Bakit?
Later on, you're just seen-ing my messages and you don't reply. Seener. Then realization hits me hard. You don't want to chat me. Napipilitan ka na lang na reply-an ako.
Ayaw mo talaga sa akin. Nag-assume lang ako. Umasa lang ako ng kaunti.
Napabuntong hininga ako.
I remembered what you said last week. If I'm not mistaken, you asked me if I have a crush on you? But I just answered you, 'pardon?'
I didn't answer. I don't want to assume.
But let me tell you something.
Yes, i like you, not because of your handsome face but I like you because of your personality. I watched your videos, even if I don't understand what you're saying, I can't help but to smile and laugh. You have a crazy but happy personality. I've observed that. I can observed the happiness but loneliness in your eyes.
You just keep on seen-ing my messages, and that broke my little heart. I know I got rejected. You don't want to talk to me anymore.
It's fine with me, even if it makes my heart ache so bad. Wala naman akong magagawa, 'di ba? I won't push myself to you. If you don't want me to be your friend then I'll stop chatting you. I Don't wanna disturb you anymore.
For the second time, I got rejected. It hurts. It fucking hurts... So bad.
_____
This is just a Fiction.
2019
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