Kabanata 1
Kabanata 1
Zahrah
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
"C-Clyte?"
Tumitig ako sa lalaki, ang asul niyang mga mata ang kaagad kong napansin. Umawang ang labi ko para sana magsalita nang naglakad siya palapit.
Napaatras ako at humugot ng hininga. He stopped in his tracks, his watering eyes still watching me like a hawk.
"Sorry," I pursed my lips and tilted my head. "Do I know you?"
His mouth parted and opened again. Ang mga mata niya'y napunta sa katawan ko, sa mga braso ko pabalik sa mukha ko pero 'di ako nakaramdam ng takot.
But he's still weird.
"Sorry, do I know you from before?" I asked, leaving him gaping at me.
"Are you..." He closed his fist and hid it on his jeans. Mukha siyang nalilito, parang nakakita pa ng multo. "You don't know me?"
Umiling ako, nakatitig pa rin sa kanya.
Matangkad at matipuno. Kahit simpleng turtleneck na dark blue lang ang suot ay mukha na siyang mamahalin at may sinasabi sa buhay. Matikas, malinis ang maikling buhok at kitang-kita ang pagkakaporma ng panga.
He stepped forward. I gasped and hugged the books more.
"Don't." Umiling ako at wala siyang sinabi, itinigil ang paglapit.
"I'm sorry," he breathed, magpaghanap ang mga mata. "I just thought I've... I've seen you before..."
"Oh." I nodded, my heart pounding and I wasn't sure why. "Maybe you've seen me before. Pero 'di kita kilala, Sir. Sorry."
Hindi siya umimik. Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa akin, tila sabik na hindi ko maintindihan.
"Are you from here?" biglang tanong niya, ang palad ay inaayos na ang turtleneck niya sa may leeg, tila 'di makahinga sa damit.
My heart fluttered again. Sumulyap ako sa guards sa hindi kalayuan pabalik sa kanya. I caught him glancing at my guards, too, then back to me.
"Your guards?"
I nodded, hugging the books more.
Naalala ko ang bilin nila sa 'kin. H'wag na h'wag daw makikipag-usap sa 'di kilala dahil maraming kalaban ang Daddy.
"Yeah, uhm, I'm around here," I answered quickly, "but sorry I can't say more. You should leave before the guards come."
Umawang ang labi niya at akmang hahawakan ako pero binawi niya rin kaagad at humawak sa kanyang batok. Ang mga matang asul ay kagaya ng kanina, kumikislap.
He looked sad, longing? I don't know.
"Ma'am Zahrah?" When I heard the guards calling, I let out a small gasp and turned my back to him to give the books to the lady.
"Kukunin ko na po," sinabi ko at habang binabalot niya 'yon ay siya ring pagdating ng guards.
"Ayos lang kayo, Ma'am?" ani ng guard. "Sino 'yong kausap n'yo?"
"Ah, he's..." Lumingon ako para ituro ang lalaki pero wala na 'yon sa pwesto niya kanina.
I stopped.
Weirdly enough, I felt a hollow part in my chest knowing he was gone. As if something filled the cracks and vanished again, leaving me empty.
Umiling ako sa guard. "Nawawala lang, nagtatanong ng direksyon."
Tumango sila at pagkatapos kong magbayad ay muli kong nilingon ang pwesto n'ong lalaki kanina pero 'di ko na talaga siya nakita.
Buong biyahe ay 'yon ang laman ng utak ko. I was already on my bed staring at the ceiling with the books I bought beside me pero paulit-ulit sa utak ko ang lalaki kanina at ang asul niyang mga mata.
Where have I seen them? I knew I did or at least they're familiar but I wasn't so sure.
He's beautiful. Matangos ang ilong, manipis ang pulang-pulang labi. Malinis ang buhok at matikas. He was obviously a foreigner if not half because of those eyes... Those eyes...
Saan ko ba iyon nakita?
Oh, hindi kaya sa magazines? O sa kung saan? It's not like blue eyes were rare. Marami n'on sa mundo na magkakatulad.
Ano'ng bago, Zahrah?
Inilapag ko sa dibdib ang libro at bumuntonghininga. If only I had access on social media or even some television, baka p'wede pa akong makahanap ng mga dating kaibigan bago ang aksidente pero ngayon?
Umiling ako.
Bawal nga kasi, Zahrah. Maraming kalaban ang daddy mo. He's in jail now. Those enemies killed your mother kaya napariwara ka sa buhay!
I shouldn't be curious. This was really bad for me.
I got lost in the novels the whole night and slept. Those blue eyes were haunting me even in my sleep, again.
"There are times dreams are made-up fantasies in our head, Miss Sebastian," my psychiatrist said.
"But I have dreams about certain faceless people, and it felt so real, Doc."
I saw something in her eyes, but it vanished after a while. What was it? Pity?
She shook her head.
"It's possible they were a few acquaintances of yours before your accident but based on my assessment of you through the past years, it's totally unrelated."
Tumango ako, may agam-agam pa rin sa sinasabi niya. I think I knew something about my case, but I couldn't even grasp it. Baka imahinasyon ko lang.
"You are a smart woman, Miss Sebastian," she said. "You're imaginative and you loved reading—fairytales if I'm not mistaken?"
Tumango ako. "Yes, but I still know how to distinguish reality from fiction."
"Yes, but it still adds some factor to your dreams," she explained, "meaning, not everything you've been dreaming is a part of your memories. Some are just what your mind unconsciously made to satisfy you."
Umalis siya habang naiwan na naman akong ginagawa nang paulit-ulit ang mga nakasanayan nitong mga nakaraang taon.
Boredom kills me every damn time pero ano nga bang magagawa ko? My whole life revolved around here with my books and garden filled with roses.
The sun was up, and I gazed at the balcony and stared at the lot in front of me. Mayabong ang mga pananim doon at kabaligtaran n'on ang nararamdaman ko. I felt empty.
"You own everything in here, Zahrah." Nilingon ko ang nagsalita at may maliit na ngiting lumitaw sa labi nang makita kung sino iyon.
"Attorney," I called, smiling.
Nang inilahad niya ang braso sa akin ay tinanggap ko ang yakap niya at tinapik ang likod. "You didn't tell me you'll be here."
"It's a surprise," he chuckled and placed his palm on the top of my head. "How are you? When was the last time I saw you?"
"Last month," sagot ko at muling tumitig sa harapan kung saan tanaw ang malawak na lupaing sa akin daw. Walang bahay na mga kalapit pwera ang mansyong ito.
"Good thing I've visited you again. Are you bored? I bought you new books."
"Really?!" Namilog ang mata ko, lumalaki ang ngiti. Nang tumango siya ay napatili na ako at niyakap siya. "You're the best, Cole!"
"Basta ikaw." He hugged me back.
Nang makawala ay pumasok ako pabalik sa kwarto at tuwang-tuwa sa mga binili niyang mga libro. Pampatay ito ng oras ko kapag nababagot ako. Nasa sampu yata iyon at kapag isinama ang mga nabili ko sa palengke, baka isa o dalawang buwan akong may babasahin!
"Anyway, I just..."
Nag-angat ako ng tingin para pakinggan siya pero 'di niya itinuloy ang sinasabi. Kumunot ang noo ko.
"Why?"
"Oh, nothing." Umiling siya. "Sige, tumingin ka muna ng mga libro."
Hindi ko sinunod ang sinasabi niya. I closed the book I was checking out and placed it beside me, looking at him intently.
"I know you, Cole," I started. "You won't just come here for nothing. Spill it."
He sighed. "Zahrah—"
"Sooner or later, you'll tell me about it, anyway. Ano'ng kaibahan kung sasabihin mo na ngayon?" Tumaas ang kilay ko. "It's not like I won't force you to tell me because I will."
Tumitig siya sa akin, bumubuntonghininga.
I let him and watched him quietly.
I knew him well now and I knew if something was bothering him. He's only a bit older than me, and he's our current family lawyer. He's the first person I saw after my accident, and he told me everything.
I'm Zahrah Bellarose Sebastian and I got into a car accident when I was kidnapped. My father was falsely accused and was jailed. My mother died because of those people who jailed my father.
Naalala kong muli ang panaginip ko. Kung paano ako pinapatulog ng mga magulang ko. We were once a happy family with a loving and sweet mother and a protective and great father pero nasira ang lahat na 'yon dahil sa mga taong may ayaw sa pamilya namin.
However, when I woke up, I never once got the chance to talk to my father in jail. Ang naging daan para malaman ko ang nangyari at kung kumusta siya ay si Cole.
They never allowed me to visit him since the enemy was after me and I knew I was in danger. Sila ang dahilan kung bakit namatay ang mommy ko, hindi na rin ako magugulat kung pati ako ay idamay nila.
Those heartless people... they've taken my family from me!
"We just found out the accident you had wasn't an accident at all."
Nagsalubong ang kilay ko.
"What?"
"Someone attempted to kill you. It's not an accident," deretsong sinabi niya sa akin. "At alam kong nagtataka ka kung bakit simula no'ng nagising ka'y hindi ka pinapalabas."
"Wasn't that because I'm in danger?" takang tanong ko.
"Yes, partly." Tumango siya. "But the truth was... well, no one really knew you existed."
Everything stopped. My ears rang with the sudden revelation.
Everyone thought I was what? Not existing?
"Ano?" Umawang ang labi ko, ang puso'y malakas na kumakalabog. "What do you mean... What do you mean I was not existing? You're kidding, right?" Tumawa pa ako. "It isn't possible—"
"Zahrah—"
"What do you mean?!" I exclaimed. "All this time, I let you control me by staying here because I'm in danger and now you're saying I am not existing?!"
"It was for your own safety. Calm down," he breathed. "Your father had no choice but to fake your death back when you're young—para 'di ka nila muling habulin."
"No..." Umiling ako, hindi makapaniwalang itinago nila sa 'kin 'to ng ilang taon.
"You were homeschooled and were kidnapped by your father's enemies when they found out about you. That night when you drove to escape them and crashed, we thought it was merely an accident, but the truth was, they chased and tried to kill you."
My mouth parted.
"No! Shut up! It wasn't true!"
"But Zahrah, your father needs you now. I came here to tell you—"
"Leave," mariing utos ko, naghahabol ng hininga.
"Zahrah—"
"I said leave!" I exclaimed, pointing to the door.
He watched me closely and I fought his gaze. He must've realized I wasn't planning to back out. He stood and sighed.
"We'll talk if you're calm," marahang sinabi niya. "I'll be in the library. You know where to find me."
When he left, I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding. I fisted my palm, gripping my hair.
What the hell? Everyone thought I was dead?
Was it why no one dared visit me? Let alone ask how I was? Was that it?
Masakit ang ulo ko at nakatulog ng ilang oras. Muli na naman akong binisita ng mga panaginip ko.
I could hear laughter, a certain large mansion that wasn't where I was living.
I was talking to a girl. I couldn't see her entire face, but she had black eyes, and we were wearing matching sleepwear.
"I bought this for you, BFF!" she chirped excitedly. "Kasi yesterday, I went to Singapore to visit their spa but then came across the mall! I saw this! Sa 'yo ang violet, akin itong pink. Isasama ko nga sanang bilhan si kambal kaso nagsusungit na naman at saka baka isumbong ako kay Dad!"
"Thank you!" I smiled. "Pero you don't have to buy me one. I told you, mag-ipon ka. Kapag nalaman ni Tito..."
"Aww, ayaw mo?" The tone of her voice softened; she was sad. It broke my heart. "Sorry, hindi na—"
"It's fine." I pulled her closer for a hug. "But you must be careful spending money next time, okay? Hindi lahat ng oras may pera."
She sighed. "Okay...pero may nakita akong phone case na may diamond—" She laughed loudly when she saw my face. "Kidding! Payakap nga ako, BFF!"
Pagkagising ay gusto ko pa rin sanang magmukmok sa loob ng kwarto pero paano? May magagawa ba ang pagmumukmok?
Ilang taon na akong nagmumukmok at isang araw pang gano'n, kung hindi pa ako baliw ay baka masisiraan na talaga ako ng ulo!
I took a quick bath and went to the library to see Cole.
"Zahrah, let me—"
"What's happening?" malamig kong tanong.
Napansin niya ang distansya sa boses ko kaya napatungo ito at tumango. He sat on the long couch before glancing beside him.
Sa halip na sa tabi niya ay naupo ako sa pang-isahang upuan katapan niya, pinagsasaklop ang nanginginig na palad para hintayin ang sasabihin niya.
"Sir Israel's in danger," he started.
Napaayos ako ng upo.
"What do you mean my father is in danger?"
"We're working on an appeal for his case," aniya.
Hope bloomed inside my chest.
"I-is it possible?"
"Yes." Tumango siya. "Your father was falsely accused, Zahrah. Alam mo naman ang pulitika, may mga taong ayaw sa dad mo. They obviously had the means and manipulated the law. They threw him in jail, the reason why your mother died and why he missed watching you grow."
My jaw clenched.
Muling bumalik sa alaala ko ang mga panaginip ko. Kung paano ako minahal ng mga magulang ko. Kung paano nila hawakan ang kamay ko nang mahigpit para makatulog ako.
Their stories about the princess slaying the dragon herself...
"Am I an orphan, Cole?" I asked out of nowhere.
Natigilan siya.
"What?"
"Am I an orphan?" I repeated.
Napansin ko kaagad ang gulo sa kanyang itsura.
"No." He shook his head. "You're not..."
Then why were my dreams like that? Was it the fantasy my psychiatrist was saying? Was I making all these memories of my parents in my head?
"Bakit, Zahrah? Did someone tell you you're an orphan?" he asked curiously.
Umiling ako.
"Nothing, don't mind me. I just had these weird dreams."
"Again?" Mas nagsalubong ang kilay niya. "Are you seeing Dra. Agoncillo? Or are you skipping therapies again—"
"I'm fine, okay? I'm seeing her. Happy?" Sinuklay ko ang buhok at pagod na sumandal. "Enough about me. What do you want me to do?"
"I've talked to Dad," he started, referring to Atty. Kiko Fernandez, his father, and my father's attorney. "And he suggested talking to you since an appeal will be coming a few months from now. Your father has also been a model prisoner in jail which is a good thing."
I waited.
"But you see, Zahrah, malalaki at makapangyarihan ang mga kaaway ng dad mo. We can file an appeal, but it is possible we won't win this one unless..." Nag-aalangan siyang tumitig sa akin.
"Unless?"
"We do something internally. This will be against our morals, but we have no choice, Zahrah."
My heart thumped nervously with anticipation.
"There will be a new prosecutor in town," panimula niya. "As per my father, he will be handling and reviewing Sir Israel's case for the appeal."
"And...?"
"We want you to know every little update and information regarding the case, so my father could prepare a defense for him in advance to our advantage."
Tumango ako, ang pag-asa ay nabubuo nang paunti-unti.
If my dad gets out, then... I'll have my father again. I can have a family again. I won't be alone.
"I'll do it," I said without hesitation. "But how? Everyone thought I was dead."
"This new prosecutor, we have no idea who he is exactly for now, but he came from the States," he explained. "He wouldn't know you personally and because you're dead to them, you will be assuming a new identity. You don't have to worry about it, kami na ang bahala."
"And what will I do? Just tell me already, Cole. Ayoko ng paikot-ikot. I don't care if I have to do something immoral, I just want my father out of that jail. What should I do?"
"You will disguise as his secretary," he answered, stunning me.
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