Chapter 12
Chapter 12
The car had been parked in front of the familiar house for over fifteen minutes, yet Tee hadn't made a move to open the door. He still lacked the courage to face the place he had called home for decades—or rather, he felt he had no right to look them in the eye.
Tee turned on his phone, re-reading the messages he had sent, trying to scavenge some frail bit of bravery. Yet, all he felt was as if someone had carved a hollow hole into his chest. Both his parents had read his confession, but none of them had replied.
Tee looked at the box of macarons tied with a pretty ribbon sitting prominently in the passenger seat and finally chose to step out. He couldn't let his desire to hide cost the 'stubborn kid' his treat. Nu had been craving macarons for so long.
Click...
"P’Tee is back!"
Before Tee could even process what was happening, a gust of wind swept into his arms the moment he pushed the door open.
"Yeah, I’m back."
Tee gently stroked the hair of his little brother, who was nearly half a head shorter than him. The look of unease on his face was, fortunately, hidden from the boy’s sight.
Nunew let go of Tee, happily dragging him into the house while calling out to their parents inside. Tee followed silently, clutching the macaron box without a word. His parents were busy cooking in the kitchen; hearing from Nunew that he was home, they only gently told him to change, wash his hands, and get ready for dinner. Tee murmured an acknowledgment, handed the box to Nunew, and went straight to his room.
Had he not known they had read his confession, the scene just now might have allowed Tee the illusion that his parents were still unaware of the sin he had committed.
Throughout the meal, the atmosphere seemed as peaceful as usual. His parents were devoted to nourishing Nunew, and the moment Nunew saw his plate piled high with food, he immediately turned to Tee for help. So, Tee found himself reluctantly transferring food from the 'stubborn kid’s' plate to his own.
The scene was so familiar, yet perhaps because Tee was carrying the weight of a guilty conscience, he felt as if his parents were pointedly avoiding his gaze.
By the time Tee watched his parents take turns kissing Nu on the cheek to bid him goodnight, he knew that feeling wasn't an illusion.
"Go to sleep early, Nunew." His mother rubbed the boy’s head.
"Your dad and I still have something to discuss privately with your P’Tee."
Nunew nodded to show he understood. After taking his medicine, he obediently headed to his room. Before leaving, the boy didn't forget to shoot Tee a glare and scooped up July, who was resting in the corner, leaving the three of them in the silent space.
How strange—who would have thought there’d come a day when one had to learn how to be honest with their own family?
In Tee’s memory of living with the Perdpiriyawong family for over a decade, it was rare for his parents to request such a serious talk. Perhaps because they were both quite playful parents, they had never once taught him or Nunew through corporal punishment or harsh words during their childhood. They were the type who disliked overcomplicating issues; therefore, if it reached the point of a 'serious talk,' the occurrences were few and far between.
If Tee remembered correctly, his parents had only spoken with such gravity twice. Once when Nunew decided to enter the entertainment industry, and once when the Kannika incident occurred.
This time was the third.
"Dad, Mom..." After a long silence, Tee finally spoke.
His eyes were fixed on his hands hidden beneath the table.
"I’m sorry. I’ve disappointed you."
As the words left his mouth, Tee felt as if something burst inside his chest. He took a deep breath, trying to restrain himself as he waited for his parents to deliver the sentence.
He was ready to become a moral degenerate in their eyes.
"Tee Chawarat Perdpiriyawong."
This was the first time Tee heard his father call him by his full name.
"Your mother and I have raised you for decades as our own child; you know that, right?"
Tee’s back stiffened. He spoke with difficulty.
"I know."
"You also know that Nunew is your brother, don't you?"
The question was leisurely, seemingly harmless, yet now it sounded like a brutal accusation.
He closed his eyes and nodded painstakingly. "I know."
It didn't stop there; the third question appeared swiftly.
"Are you aware that the feelings between you two are not in accordance with morality?"
Each word, neither fast nor slow, struck deep into Tee’s conscience.
He felt as if someone were strangling his throat; his tongue couldn't find the words.
"I know..."
Tee clenched his hands tightly under the table, his shoulders tensing. He wouldn't allow himself to feel wronged, and certainly wouldn't allow himself to cry. This was the price he had to pay for his impure thoughts.
"Tee, answer me truthfully." Even without looking, Tee could feel his mother’s gaze.
"Does Nunew know about your feelings yet?"
Tee went silent for a moment, then shook his head.
"Nunew doesn't know. He has nothing to do with this." His breath trembled uncontrollably.
"It’s just my one-sided feelings."
And Tee had no intention of ever letting Nunew know about this forbidden love.
"I’m sorry, Dad, Mom." His voice was choked.
"I know I shouldn't love him."
More than anyone, Tee understood that this love was never permitted to exist.
Tee had been Nunew’s brother for twenty-one years. In those twenty-one years, he had personally witnessed the little kid grow bit by bit into an angel. He had witnessed that little angel fall in love with someone else. And he had witnessed that same angel’s wings break, leaving him bleeding all over. With each occurrence, the feelings within him became more distorted, yet deeper.
Perhaps Nunew didn't know, but throughout the years with the Perdpiriyawong family, Tee never dared to imagine a day when Nunew would leave him. Until that man named Zee Pruk Panich appeared.
At the moment Nunew softly whispered about his first heart-fluttering feelings for that man, that was also when Tee belatedly realized his own feelings for the boy.
A feeling that had no right to dream of a response.
"If you two do not approve of my feelings..." Tee’s voice grew hoarse as he swallowed his tears.
"I promise to keep my distance from Nunew. I can move elsewhere if you wish. I only ask that I be allowed to stay by his side until he recovers."
Tee truly didn't dare to hope his parents would accept it, because he understood how monstrous his love seemed in the eyes of the world. He only begged for one thing: don't make him leave Nunew right now. His stubborn kid wasn't healed yet; he still needed Tee’s companionship. And Tee did, too.
He wasn't ready to let go, either.
Tee’s shoulders were taut against the heavy silence. Just when he thought everything was on the brink of despair, a hand was gently placed on his shoulder. Tee gathered what little courage he had left to look up into the eyes of the hand's owner.
"Tee, listen to me." That hand gently patted his shoulder, which was aching from the pressure.
"No matter what happens, you will always be the son we are most proud of."
Tee watched every expression on his mother’s face, rendered speechless.
"As for you and Nunew..." His mother paused for a few seconds.
"For now, we still can't accept it. Will you give your Dad and me a little more time?"
Tee instinctively looked at his father, and then he realized he wasn't the only one being torn apart. His parents were also enduring a shock beyond their capacity. His parents... they truly loved him more than the love he felt he deserved.
His father brooded for a long time before finally letting out a sigh.
"As long as Nunew is willing to stay with you, I won't forbid it." His father stood up.
"Promise me, don't let Nunew suffer any more pain."
Tee felt his eyes grow damp from the pile of emotions about to explode in his chest. He tried to regulate his breathing, then looked directly into his father’s eyes. He nodded solemnly, with all the love and responsibility he had always yearned for.
"I promise."
Tee would never tell his parents that he had never stopped regretting the past. Regretting that he didn't realize his own feelings sooner. Regretting that he had so easily let Nunew be with Zee Pruk. Above all, he regretted that he couldn't protect Nunew from the cruel world out there.
Nunew is an angel.
And an angel deserves the best things in the world.
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