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Astrea

Holidays.

I used to loathe them whenever they came—hindi naman bago 'yon dati. Growing up, it was always just me and Tita Sandra. We'd share a quiet dinner, sometimes takeout kung sobrang busy siya, and pretend that the flickering fairy lights outside our window were enough to make the night feel full.

Christmas wasn't something I was ever excited for, because somehow, it always felt like a day reserved for people with complete families. Yung may tawanan sa lamesa, may gift exchanges, may mga memories na paulit-ulit ikinukwento taon-taon.

Pero mula nung dumating si Elise... things changed.

Naalala ko pa 'yung unang Pasko na nakasama ko siya. We weren't even close then. She had just started showing interest sa mga ginagawa ko sa kitchen, and that time—nagpaturo siya mag-bake ng cake. Nasa restaurant kami noon. I remember thinking she was persistent, a bit clueless, but endearing in a way I didn't want to admit.

At that time, I considered myself just an acquaintance. A student, maybe. Someone she probably wouldn't remember years from now.

But this year... things were different.

This time, we were official. I wasn't just a student. I wasn't just someone she happened to know. I was hers—and she was mine.

We spent Noche Buena together sa bahay niya. Tahimik lang, cozy, with warm lights and music playing from her speaker. She wore my hoodie the whole night, and I let her take over the kitchen kahit hindi pa rin siya marunong magluto ng maayos. She insisted on making spaghetti, and it ended up a bit too sweet, but I ate it anyway because she looked proud. We laughed a lot that night. We talked about random things. We watched an old Christmas movie she loved.

And when midnight struck, we went stargazing before ending the night.

The next morning, nagluto lang ulit ako para sa'ming dalawa and spend a few hours together before she left para pumunta sa Nueva Ecija to spend the rest of Christmas with her family. I did the same, umuwi ako kay Tita Sandra.

And for once, the holidays didn't feel heavy. There was no longing, no ache.

Just warmth.

New year is different, we're here at the Cabin to celebrate.

This time kasama namin ang mga kaibigan namin, and as usual, hindi naman pwedeng hindi kasama si Vida.

Habang hinahanda ko na ang mga lulutuin ko, nagulat ako nang may kumuha ng sliced ham sa gilid ko.

"Yown, matitikman ko na ulit luto mo!"

"Putragis ka talaga, Almonte." Saad ko nang makita ko si Maevis na kinakain na yung ham, "Yaman yaman, apaka PG."

"Ano 'yon?"

"Patay gutom." Elyzra suddenly entered the kitchen, "Wala namang bago."

"Hey, I deserve this." Maevis retorted, "You guys forced me here."

I couldn't help but smirk, yeah, you heard that right. She was forced.

Not by me, sila Tatum at Elyzra ang nagpumilit sa kanya. She and Ms. Maddison are still not okay. Well, that's what she says. If you're wondering about Zarela, magdadalawang buwan na atang siyang nasa Canada, she's taping her latest movie. But I'm pretty sure it will end in a few weeks from now.

Kaya hindi rin namin nakakasama palagi.

Ms. Cali is here with us, but she told Elise that she might surprise Zarela next week. Hopefully.

"Tatum threatened to block me if I didn't come," Maevis added while stuffing another piece of ham in her mouth. "And Elyzra literally dragged me by the collar, 'di ko na nga nadala mga toiletries ko nang buo."

"Tama naman sila," I said while mixing something in the bowl. "Baka sakaling matauhan ka."

"Wow, thanks for the support, Luceria," she replied, tone dripping with sarcasm, but I could see the small smile she was trying to hide.

"Excuse me," Elyzra chimed in, smug. "Wala 'kang karapatang magreklamo. Libre na nga 'tong cabin, libre pagkain, libre inuman mamaya, may pa-bonfire pa. You're welcome."

"Ano 'to, intervention disguised as a party?" Maevis muttered as she leaned against the counter, but she didn't walk away either. She stayed, which said more than anything else.

I smirked to myself again. Some things never change.

Habang busy silang dalawa sa pagtatalo, I felt a familiar presence from behind. Two arms wrapped around my waist, and a chin rested on my shoulder. "Need help?" bulong ni Elise, her breath warm against my neck.

I held back a smile. "You just want to eat the extra frosting again, no?"

"Busted," she chuckled softly, placing a quick kiss on my cheek before letting go to wash her hands.

"Naglalambingan na naman kayo," Maevis groaned dramatically. "I swear, hindi ako nagpunta dito para masaksihan 'to."

"You weren't even supposed to be here," Elyzra shot back, then looked at Elise. "Good luck sa pasensya mo, Ms. Vivien."

Elise laughed. "Getting better at ignoring her."

While they were joking around, I just took a second to soak it all in.

The kitchen was warm, loud with laughter and petty banters, cluttered with ingredients and open containers. There was something beautiful about how chaotic yet grounded it all felt. A few years ago, I couldn't even imagine myself in a room like this—surrounded by people I care about, with someone I love standing beside me like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I met Elise's gaze for a moment across the kitchen, and she smiled—soft, knowing. That smile that always made me feel like I belong somewhere.

And right now... I did.

New Year was different this time. Not just because of the change in setting, or the noise, or the chaos. But because for the first time in a long while, I wasn't thinking about the years I've lost.

I was just grateful for the one I had.

"Sorry we're late!" Tatum's voice broke through the laughter and chatter inside the cabin. She walked in, a little out of breath, with Ms. Esmé following closely behind her. "Oh um, besides us... I hope you guys don't mind that I brought Clara."

I glanced up at the mention of her name, surprised but not exactly shocked. Tatum had invited her, after all. The others didn't know about her, especially the professors. But Maevis and Elyzra already knew Clara. Tatum had introduced them to her during Clara's birthday dinner at the restaurant. The two women seemed to be on good terms, despite Maevis' usual kakulitan.

I noticed that, as Clara entered, the energy in the room shifted slightly.

As for me, I could feel the cautious glances from some people. Ms. Maddison, in particular, looked like she was observing Clara and Maevis with a different kind of attention, like she was quietly measuring something. I could tell she wasn't too thrilled about the idea of Clara being here, but it wasn't exactly obvious. Just subtle, the way she shifted in her seat, or how her smile didn't quite reach her eyes when she greeted Clara.

Ms. Zafiana and Ms. Cali were the opposite. They were friendly and welcoming, chatting easily with Clara as though she had been part of the group all along.

And Elise—Elise had her usual reassuring smile when she saw Clara. She was okay with her being here because she knew where she stood with me.

Clara seemed to feel that warmth too, smiling back at everyone as she took a seat beside Tatum. She even waved at Maevis and Elyzra before starting a small talk with them.

Agad ko namang nilapitan si Elise and held her waist, "You okay with her being here?"

"Of course." She said with a genuine smile, turning a little to face me. "You already told me she was coming, 'diba? And besides..." She leaned in slightly, lowering her voice, "You're holding my waist in front of everyone. That's reassurance enough."

Napangiti ako, tightening my hold on her for a second. "Just making sure. Ayoko lang na maging awkward for you."

She chuckled softly, brushing her fingers against my arm. "You worry too much sometimes."

"Not really," I muttered. "Just about you."

That made her laugh again, a quiet kind of laugh na hindi masyadong rinig pero ramdam. It was those little moments like this—when she looked at me like I was her favorite part of the room—that made everything else blur into the background.

"I'm good," Elise said again, more firmly this time, eyes locked on mine. "Promise."

"Okay," I replied, letting out a breath. "But if you feel off... sabihan mo ko, ha?"

She nodded, then leaned in to plant a quick kiss on my cheek before whispering, "Noted, Luceria."

I felt myself flush a little, but I couldn't help the smile tugging at my lips. Just then, narinig ko ang sigawan mula sa sala—apparently, nag-umpisa na yung inuman nila Elyzra and Tatum. Clara and Maevis were both laughing, and I caught a glimpse of Ms. Maddison standing off to the side, arms crossed, eyes lingering on the two before she looked away.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who became cautious with Clara's presence when you first met her." Elise added with a chuckle, eyes flicking toward where Maevis and Clara sat, their knees almost brushing under the coffee table.

Napatingin naman ako sa kanya, arching a brow. "Pansin mo rin?"

She nodded subtly. "Maddison's planning to talk to Maevis. I overheard her kanina habang kinakausap si Cali."

I let out a small breath through my nose, glancing toward where Ms. Maddison stood near the fireplace, arms still crossed and her expression unreadable. "Well... dapat lang siguro talaga nilang pag-usapan."

Elise turned to me slightly, voice softer this time. "Do you think may something sa kanila? Maevis and Clara?"

I gave her a look, one that spoke more of certainty than anything else. "No. I don't think so. I know Maevis. She's... loyal. As in, to a fault. Lalo na kay Ms. Maddison."

She hummed, still watching the two across the room. "Then Maddison must feel threatened."

"Maybe," I replied. "Pero they've been rocky for a while now, so kahit hindi si Clara, mag-aaway pa rin 'yung dalawang 'yon eventually."

"Still," She murmured, "I can't blame Maddison for noticing. Clara's charming."

I snorted at that. "You sound like you almost fell for her."

Elise raised a brow at me, smug smile tugging at her lips. "Almost lang naman."

I gently nudged her. "Loko ka talaga."

Just then, I caught Clara glancing our way. She had that polite smile on her lips, but something about the way she tilted her head, the way her gaze lingered—it felt like she knew.

She knew she was part of the conversation.

She didn't look offended though. If anything, she looked amused. I just looked away and diverted my attention to Elise.

"Si Vida nga pala? kanina pa 'yon nawawala ah," Tanong ko habang nag-aayos ng mga baso sa mesa. Napansin kong kulang kami.

"She went to town earlier," Sagot ni Elise habang naglalagay ng mga kutsara, "She told me she'll be back before eleven."

"Well, it's close to eleven—"

Bago pa ako makapagsalita, bumukas nang biglaan ang pinto, sabay pasok ni Vida, hawak ang coat niya habang hinuhubad.

"Oh my freaking God, it was so cold outside—" Pero natigil siya sa paglalakad nang mapansin si Clara sa gitna ng sala, nakaupo at may hawak na mug ng hot chocolate.

Nagkatinginan sila.

And for a moment, walang kumikibo.

"Clara?" Tanong ni Vida, halos pabulong, as if she didn't mean to say it out loud.

"Vida." Tumayo si Clara, almost hesitant, parang may iniiwasang ilang sa tono ng boses niya. Pero she smiled, just for a little, almost like a habit.

Napatingin ako kay Elise, at ganun din siya sa'kin. It's like both of us are thinking the same thing.

"Elise," Bulong ko habang nakatitig pa rin kina Vida at Clara, "Do you think..."

She leaned closer, whispering back, "I think they know each other. More than just know."

Nagtama ulit ang tingin namin. At kahit walang salitang nasabi, pareho naming alam—there's something here.

Clara gave a small wave. "It's... been a while."

"Yeah." Vida scratched the back of her neck, clearly off-guard. "Didn't know you'd be here."

"Didn't know you'd be here either," Clara replied, then took a sip from her mug, her expression as composed as ever, pero hindi maitatangging may konting ilangan.

"Well," Tatum said, trying to break the awkward air habang tinutulungan si Ms. Esmé sa pag-ayos ng table setup, "Small world?"

"Too small," Elise muttered, almost like a reflex.

I almost laughed, but I held it in. Instead, tinapik ko siya sa baywang habang binabantayan pa rin 'yung dalawa sa kanto ng mata ko.

"Guess this New Year's party just got a little more interesting," I said under my breath. Elise just gave me a look—amused.

"Clara brought the interesting part." I whispered back. "Look's like Ms. Maddison isn't the only one who's bothered by her presence tonight."

She chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm definitely talking to Vida later. It's about time I get even."

I turned to her, raising a brow. "Get even?"

"Mhm," She nodded, taking a slow sip of her wine. "For all the teasing I've had to endure from her... ever since she found out about us."

I smiled a little. "You're so petty."

"Excuse me," She scoffed, still smiling. "I call it poetic justice."

I laughed softly, watching her from the corner of my eye.

"And honestly," She added, "I've been patient. She always had something to say—always had these loaded questions, like she knew but wanted to see me panic."

"Classic Vida," I muttered.

"Exactly," She said, glancing towards Vida, who was now chatting with the Professors. Clara had found her spot near Maevis, but the air between them was unmistakably... strange. Like there were a lot of unspoken things waiting to explode.

"Well," I said, leaning a little closer, "Maybe it's time she gets a taste of her own medicine."

Elise glanced at me, her expression softening. "As long as you're the antidote."

I blinked. "Wow. That was awful."

She grinned. "I've been spending too much time with you."

"Tragic."

"Okay, it's already 10:45 P.M. Let's have our dinner, everyone!" As the one who was hosting the new year's eve, Elise stepped forward at inaya na nga ang lahat na pumunta sa dining area.

I let out a soft chuckle kasi kahit kailan talaga, Elise had this way of commanding attention without even trying. Hindi man siya palaging center of the room, but when she speaks—people listen.

"Uy, tara na daw!" Si Ms. Cali ang unang tumayo, dragging Ms. Zafiana with her.

"Teka lang, may hawak pa akong wine—" The latter protested, but she didn't have much of a choice as Ms. Cali pulled her along.

The others followed after, all heading toward the long wooden dining table we had set up earlier, adorned with string lights, candles, and plates filled with dishes we all helped prepare. Tatum had arranged the centerpieces. Maevis helped with the drinks. And yes, Clara even folded the napkins.

I stayed back for a moment, watching everyone settle down, laughing, taking photos, filling their plates. Then I glanced at Elise, who looked back at me like she already knew what I was thinking.

Yeah, I really found my home in these people.

--

The night air was cold, pero hindi naman sobrang lamig—sakto lang para makaramdam ng excitement habang hawak-hawak namin ang mga party horn, sparklers, at ilang fountain fireworks na dala ni Maevis.

"Nag-invest talaga ako rito, ha!" Sabi ni Maevis habang inaayos ang mga pailaw sa may safe spot sa likod ng cabin.

"May pa-budget ka pa pala, Almonte?" Tukso ni Ms. Zafiana habang yakap-yakap si Elyzra, who just rolled her eyes playfully.

"Huwag niyong inaano 'tong si Maevis, baka umiyak 'yan mamaya," Sagot ni Ms. Cali, sabay tawa.

It was 11:58 p.m.

All of us gathered around the campfire—warm, glowing, and surrounded by the soft flickers of lights coming from the sparklers everyone started lighting. May ilan nang nag-umpisang sumisigaw ng countdown kahit maaga pa.

I looked around.

Tatum was standing close to Ms. Esmé, both of them bundled up under one blanket, laughing about something the taller one whispered. Elyzra and Ma. Zafiana were seated on one of the logs, Ms. Zafi's hand running along Ely's arm with this kind of intimacy that spoke of quiet understanding.

Ms. Cali seemed to be calling someone and I'm pretty sure it was Zarela. Habang si Vida at Clara naman ay tila ba nag-uusap din, pero hindi lang pinapahalata.

I just know they're sorting things out.

And then there was Ms. Maddison.

She was just a few feet away from Maevis, hesitant. I could see her toying with the edge of her sleeve, trying to think of something to say. And just before the countdown started, she finally took a step forward—reaching out to gently touch Maevis' elbow.

Maevis turned to her, surprised, but she didn't pull away.

"Elise," I called softly, feeling her hand slip into mine.

She looked at me with that soft smile, eyes catching the sparkles reflecting in mine. "Hm?"

"I'm glad we're here."

"I know, my love.. me too." She whispered back, squeezing my hand gently.

Then the countdown began.

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

"Eight!"

Everyone joined in, sparklers in the air, the party horn blaring, and a fountain firework began crackling behind us.

"It always looks good on you," She spoke, her gaze settling on the brooch pinned to my chest.

"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow, unsure if I heard her correctly.

"The star brooch..." She sighed, her eyes softening as she continued, "Every time you wear it... I'm always reminded of what we went through... and the realization that all along it has always been you."

I felt my heart tighten a little at the unspoken weight of her words.

Her hand tightened around mine as the countdown continued.

"Seven!"

"Six!"

Her voice was low, almost lost in the noise around us, but it felt like she was speaking only to me. "You make it look effortless, you know? Like you've always known what you wanted. But with me... it took time. Took patience. Took faith."

I squeezed her hand back, not needing words to respond. I just looked at her—my heart, full.

"Five!"

"Four!"

Her voice was barely above a whisper, but I caught every word. "I used to think I'd never be enough for you... that you would slip away, like everyone else. But you've been here, always. And that... means more than anything."

I pulled her closer, leaning my forehead against hers as the final countdown echoed.

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

The fireworks erupted into the sky, bathing us in brilliant light, and for the first time, I felt a peace I hadn't known in a long while.

"I love you," I said, breathless, as the night sparkled around us.

"I love you, Aster.. God, I really do." She replied softly, her lips finding mine in a kiss that felt like home.

__

January 20

I know what day is today.

My birthday.

I don't know what to feel about it... parang wala lang. Maybe because I've always treated it like any other day. Walang bonggang selebrasyon, walang party, no grand surprises—just me, surviving another year.

But even then, I still woke up to a bunch of messages.

Si Tatum ang unang bumati, as expected. Nasa GC pa sila nag greet.

Maevis ft. friends
6 people

I am Titatum
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASTREA!
Don't even think about
ghosting me today.
I'm calling later. Miss you!

Kasunod si Zarela, who sent a simple but heartfelt message.

Zarela <33
Happy birthday, Astrea.
I hope you're taking care
of yourself today.
You deserve to be happy
and smiling on your day.

Then si Ely and Maevis.

Elyzrawr
Happy birthday! Wala akong
maalala na regalo mo sa'kin
last year kaya sana 'di ka
umaasa ngayon. Just kidding.
Love ya.

Maevis Bading
Hay nako. Tumatanda ka na.
Happy birthday, boss!
See you soon?

Even the professors messaged me—Ms. Cali, Ms. Maddison, Ms. Zafi and even Ms. Esmé who barely texts.

Pero si Elise?

Wala.

I tried not to overthink it. I really did. Pero alam kong alam niya. She's not the type to forget dates like this. Hell, she even remembers random things like the first time I accidentally spilled soy sauce on my shirt a few months ago.

So why today? Why the silence?

I stared at my phone a little longer than I'd like to admit. Waiting. Hoping.

Pero wala pa rin.

And maybe it shouldn't matter this much. But it does.

Kasi out of all the people who remembered me today, she's the one I wanted to hear from the most.

And suddenly, it brought back memories from before— yung unang beses niyang nakalimutan ang birthday ko.

Pero may dahilan noon.

A reason I never really held against her, kahit masakit.

Because during that time, she was caught up with Khione.

I remember that day too well—how I waited for a message that never came, how I kept checking my phone every hour like some fool. And when it didn't arrive, I convinced myself na okay lang.

I was just a student then.

She was my professor.

She had her own life, her own people.

And Khione... well, Khione was a huge part of that life.

I remember thinking back then, Don't expect anything. Not from her.

So I didn't. At least, I tried not to.

Pero kahit ilang ulit mo sabihin sa sarili mong huwag umasa, kahit ilang beses mo pang ikumbinsi na sanay ka na— it still stings, no matter what.

Pero bakit parang... bumalik ulit ako sa ganung pakiramdam?

Like I'm someone waiting for something that might not come.

Again.

The following year—just last year... we never really had a chance to celebrate either.

Hindi na rin kasi kami okay noon. We were avoiding each other.

Hindi siya nagparamdam, at ako rin, pilit kong iniiwasan ang kahit anong interaction. Kasi alam ko, kapag narinig ko pa ulit 'yung boses niya, baka hindi ko kayanin. Baka bumalik lahat ng pinilit kong ibaon.

We were both walking on eggshells. Passing by each other like strangers.

So no, we didn't greet each other.

And even if I acted like it didn't bother me... deep down, it did.

Because it's one thing to be forgotten.

But it's another to be deliberately avoided.

That year just quietly passed me by.

No celebrations.

No expectations.

No her.

But it should be different by now... Because we're— We're together.

Right?

I mean, things aren't perfect, and maybe they never will be, but we made it this far. We've come back from everything that almost destroyed us. We chose each other. This time, we chose to stay.

So why does it still feel like there's something missing?

Kanina pa ako nakaupo sa balcony ng apartment, tahimik lang na pinapanood ang mga sasakyan sa baba. It's just a normal day. A bit colder than usual. The kind of weather na sakto lang sa mainit na kape at malalim na pag-iisip.

I sipped from my mug. Still warm. Still bitter.

Nag-ring ang phone ko almost every hour—text, call, video greetings, Instagram stories. Vida, Aries, Tita Sandra.. Even Karis greeted me.

Everyone remembered.

Except Elise.

I tried not to think about it too much. Baka busy lang talaga, kakastart lang ng classes nila two weeks ago. But damn, kahit anong pilit ko ng pag-unawa, ang hirap hindi makaramdam ng kurot.

I shook my head, setting the mug down on the table.

Okay. Enough.

I stood up, fixed my hair, and went back inside.

I had to keep moving. Ayoko nang matambay sa lungkot. I had a quick breakfast—scrambled eggs and pandesal. Walang effort, but good enough. Then I checked my to-do list. I had a few deliveries to check for the restaurant, and some reports to finish.

I answered a few emails, cleaned up a bit, watered the plants sa corner, and did anything to keep myself from checking my phone every five minutes.

Pero kahit anong gawin ko, there's still this weight in my chest.

It's my birthday.

And somehow, I feel more alone than I expected.

...

I didn't go to work today.

Not because it's closed... but because I didn't feel like it. I turned my phone off, incase someone looks for me.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit, but maybe... maybe this is the first time I expected something from someone again.

And maybe, that's where I went wrong.

Kasi dati, sanay naman akong wala. Sanay akong hindi maalala. Sanay akong hindi kasama sa mga plano ng ibang tao. I've built this life trying to be okay with that—trying to be enough for myself. Pero nung dumating si Elise, nabasag lahat ng pader na 'yon. I let her in. I let her see me, all of me.

And for the first time, I thought maybe... I could expect.

Maybe she would remember.

Maybe she'd show up.

But here I am.

Still waiting for something I shouldn't be waiting for.

So I turned off my phone.

Not to punish anyone.

Not even her.

But to protect myself.

From the noise. From the possibility of getting a half-baked "Sorry, I forgot." From the idea that she might not even care today the way I hoped she would.

So I left.

Walang plano, walang direksyon—just my wallet, a hoodie, and my camera slung over my shoulder. I didn't even know where I was going. I just... walked.

Away from the silence of my place.

Away from the weight sitting on my chest.

Away from the expectation I stupidly allowed myself to carry.

The streets weren't too crowded. The breeze was cool against my skin, the kind that makes you feel something—at least enough to remind yourself you're alive. May mga taong naglalakad din, magkakasama, may tawanan, may halakhakan. It stung a little. Pero hindi ako lumiko. I just kept walking.

I ended up somewhere far from the usual routes. Not even sure how I got there. It was this quiet park—trees lining both sides, benches empty, save for a few strangers passing time. The grass was damp from the morning dew, and the sky above was starting to turn gold with the setting sun.

I sat on the farthest bench I could find. Pulled out my camera, stared through the lens, and took a shot of nothing. Just light. Just blur. Just the world as it is—unfiltered, unsure, and soft in its own kind of chaos.

For once, I didn't mind getting lost. I didn't mind the ache.

Because even if today didn't turn out the way I hoped, at least I wasn't standing still. At least I chose to move. At least I chose myself.

Magga-gabi na.

I didn't even notice. The park had dimmed into that soft blue hour, streetlights flickering one by one, casting long shadows on the pavement. I've been sitting here for hours, and yet, it didn't feel like time passed at all.

Wala namang nangyari today.

And surprisingly... I was okay with it.

I let myself feel the dull ache of the day, and somehow, nairaos ko rin. No tears, no breakdowns—just me, my thoughts, and the sky slowly fading into night.

But then I remembered my phone.

I pulled it out of my pocket and held it for a second, staring at the blank screen before finally pressing the power button.

Pagka-on, agad itong bumulaga sa akin.

10 missed calls.
7 messages.

All from Elise.

Napakurap ako.

I blinked again, making sure I read it right. Tinap ko agad ang inbox.

My Elise ♥️
Hey, happy birthday, love. Where are you?
11:35 AM

I went to the restaurant pero wala ka.
12:23 PM

Are you okay?
12:34 PM

Please reply.
12:36 PM

I know today matters. I had something planned. I thought you were coming in.
1:04 PM

Aster, please don't shut me out again.
4:30 PM

Love, are you mad at me?
5:29 PM

May kasamang voice message din. I didn't open it yet.

She didn't forget.

She had it all planned out—my birthday, the surprise, everything. Pero hindi niya inasahan na aalis ako. That I'd turn off my phone. That I wouldn't show up.

Na ako pala 'yung nawala this time.

Biglang sumikip dibdib ko. Not because she missed my birthday before... but because I almost let my past convince me that she'd do it again.

I sat still for a moment, the city lights reflecting in my screen. And then slowly, I tapped on her voice message.

"Wherever you are, please come home."

Bumuntong-hininga ako habang nakatitig sa mensahe. Paulit-ulit itong gumugulo sa isip ko.

Hindi 'yun galit. Hindi 'yun tanong. Hindi 'yun demand.

It was a plea. A quiet one.

A kind of softness Elise rarely showed to anyone.

And maybe that's what did it—what finally made my limbs move. I stood up, brushing the dust off my jeans. My body felt heavier than usual, as if dala ko buong araw na ito sa mga balikat ko.

I traced the edge of the brooch, the tiny glimmer of the star reminding me of the way she looked at me sometimes—like she was silently asking me to trust her, even when I doubted myself.

I could feel the tightness in my chest, the way it had become second nature to push people away, to avoid vulnerability. But Elise... she was always different. She made me want to break those walls, even if I was scared to.

I sighed heavily and started walking. Wala na akong pakialam kung saan ako eksaktong dadaan. I just knew where I needed to be.

Nang makarating ako sa unit, madilim pa rin sa hallway. Tahimik. Late na rin kasi. I hesitated in front of the door for a second, andun pa rin 'yung kaba. I didn't know what I'd see. I didn't know if I'd be met with disappointment, with anger, or silence.

Pagpasok ko sa unit, walang bumungad na ingay—walang kahit anong senyales na may naghihintay sa'kin. Tahimik. Parang iniwan na ng lahat ang araw. Tanging ilaw sa kusina lang ang bukas, mahina, malamlam. Halos hindi ko napansin ang katawan ni Elise na nakaupo sa gilid ng sofa.

Nakadapa siya roon, parang hindi niya kayang buhatin ang sarili niya sa bigat ng hinihigop niyang lungkot. Hindi agad siya lumingon nang bumukas ang pinto. Pero narinig ko 'yung pag-igik ng hininga niya—'yung klaseng tunog ng iyak na pinipilit ikubli buong maghapon, pero ngayong gabi, sumuko na.

"Elise," Mahina kong tawag.

Doon lang niya ako tinignan. At sa isang iglap, parang lahat ng pader na itinayo ko buong araw ay nawala.

Pula ang mga mata niya. Basa ang pisngi. Nanginginig ang labi.

"Where were you?" Halos hindi marinig ang tinig niya. "Aster, where the hell were you?"

Lumapit ako, mabagal, parang kahit ako hindi sigurado kung karapat-dapat ba akong lumapit sa kanya. "I just needed time," Bulong ko.

"Time?" Napa-iling siya. "You turned your phone off, Aster. I thought something happened. I went to your restaurant. I asked your staff, even called your friends. No one knew where you were."

"Elise, I just wanted to disappear today, okay? I didn't want to be greeted, I didn't want to remember—"

"And I didn't want you to feel forgotten. Not again," singit niya, her voice carried the same pain I felt. "I know what this day means to you. I know how badly you needed someone to remember. I did. I remembered."

"I know," Bulong ko. "I just... I didn't think you would."

Napapikit siya, kinagat ang labi, at saglit na tumigil ang luha bago tuluyang bumuhos ulit.

"I had everything planned," Basag niyang tinig. "I cooked for you. I decorated. I kept it simple because I know you don't like grand gestures. I bought that damn mango cake you said you hated but secretly liked. I waited."

"Elise..."

"I waited for hours," Tuloy niya, humahagulhol na. "Every sound outside the door, I hoped it was you. And it wasn't. Not even once."

Hinawakan ko ang mukha niya, pero hindi niya ako tiningnan agad. Tumingin siya sa sahig, sa kamay ko, kahit saan pero hindi sa mga mata ko.

"I'm sorry," Mahina kong sabi.

"Don't be," Bulong niya. "Just don't... shut me out like that again. Not now that I'm here. Not now that we're trying."

Tahimik. Wala na akong nasabi. Ang bigat sa dibdib ko, parang sumasabay sa bawat hikbi niya.

And maybe this pain—this raw, messy, aching kind of pain—is what love also looks like when it's real.

Maybe we're still learning. Still trying.

"I wanted tonight to matter," She whispered, voice low. "I really thought... if I could just be the first one to greet you, maybe this birthday would feel different for you. Better."

She stood slowly, her hand sliding down my arm until her fingers slipped away from mine. Then she nodded toward the kitchen. "Come here."

I followed her quietly.

The lights were low. There were candles on the counter, unlit. Plates set on the small dining table. Two wine glasses. A dish that looked like it had gone cold—her version of sinigang, if I had to guess, and pasta, too. There was a half-melted mango cake on the counter, its candle untouched. And next to it... a small, carefully wrapped box. With my name on it.

"Elise..."

"I stayed up last night thinking of what to give you," She said, not turning to look at me. "I wanted it to be simple. But personal. And I had this whole stupid thing planned where I'd show up at work early, greet you first, and bring lunch. And then bring you here at night. Just us."

She looked over her shoulder, finally meeting my eyes.

"But I wasn't the first to greet you, was I?"

I didn't answer.

She gave a small, dry laugh. "I saw the stories. The way Tatum posted your throwback photos with hearts and sparkles. Even my friends greeted. All of them did. And I... just froze."

"Elise, it's not a big deal—"

"It is to me," She cut in gently. "Because I promised myself I'd do better this time. That I wouldn't let your birthday slip past me again. And then I got so caught up in trying to make it perfect that I missed the most important part."

She sighed, eyes welling again. "I should've just called you at midnight. Should've sent a dumb message. Anything. But I thought... if I could just give you the perfect day, maybe it would make up for everything else. And then you left. You disappeared. And I thought maybe it was my fault. That maybe I already failed before the day even started."

Guilt slammed into me so hard, I felt breathless.

I stepped forward, slowly reaching out to touch her arm. "You didn't fail."

Her lip trembled. "Pero bakit pakiramdam ko, oo?"

I didn't know what to say. The truth was... I did expect her to forget. I did spiral, and instead of asking—of trusting her—I left.

And now, she was standing here, with cold food and melted candles and a cake she bought because she remembered, thinking she was the one who ruined it.

My chest ached.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, stepping closer. "You didn't ruin anything. I ruined it by assuming the worst. By not trusting that maybe... this time, I wasn't alone."

She looked at me then, pain still flickering in her expression. "So make it up to me."

"I will."

"Tonight."

I paused, surprised.

"I want you to eat the dinner I made. I want you to open your gift. I want you to sit with me and let me give you what I've been holding onto all day. Please, Aster. Don't let this day end the same way it started."

I nodded, barely managing to swallow the lump in my throat. "Okay."

And as I sat down at the small table, Elise moving to reheat the food and relight the candles, I felt the full weight of what I almost lost today.

Not just the day—but her.

She moved around the kitchen in silence for a moment, lighting the candles with trembling fingers. The soft glow finally breathed warmth into the room—into both of us. I watched her reheat the dishes carefully, as if this small act of care was her way of holding herself together.

I wanted to tell her not to bother, that we could eat whatever was left cold, or even just skip to the cake. But I didn't. Because this mattered to her. Because I mattered to her.

And tonight, I'd show her that she mattered to me too.

When she placed the reheated food in front of me, I could tell she was still holding back—still unsure if I'd push it away or meet her halfway.

But I picked up the spoon and took a bite.

It was still good. Familiar. Like home, in a quiet, comforting kind of way.

I looked up at her, and I tried to say it with my eyes before I said it out loud. "This is perfect."

Her shoulders dropped slightly, like she'd been holding her breath the entire time.

We ate in quiet. Not the kind that hurt—just the kind that wrapped itself around us like a blanket, full of unspoken understanding. I asked her about the pasta. She laughed, finally, telling me it was her first time trying that recipe and she almost burned it.

We were... okay. Slowly. Barely. But okay.

After we finished eating, Elise stood and reached for the small box beside the mango cake. She turned it over in her hands first, hesitant, like she wasn't sure if she still wanted to give it to me after everything that happened today.

Then she handed it over.

"Happy birthday, my love," She said quietly.

I took it carefully, the weight of it sinking into my palms. The box was soft, velvet-covered. I opened it slowly—and inside was a ring.

A thin, silver band. Simple, elegant. Not flashy. Not loud.

My breath caught when I noticed the engraving inside the band.

For when you feel lost.

"Elise..."

She bit her lip, eyes flickering away from mine. "You always do that," She said. "Disappear. Shut down. You think no one's looking for you. But I always am. I always will be."

I stared down at the ring again, my chest tightening with guilt.

"I wanted to give you something to remind you... that you're not hard to find. Not to me."

I couldn't speak. My throat burned. I slipped the ring on my finger—it fit perfectly.

"Elise," I whispered again, finally looking at her. "Thank you. I... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," she replied, sitting down beside me. "Just let me find you."

I took her hand, lacing our fingers together. "I'll try. I promise."

"You better," She said, but there was no edge in her voice now—just a quiet exhaustion, and something softer beneath it.

I pulled her gently into my lap, arms wrapping around her as she rested her head against me.
"Thank you," I whispered. "For not giving up today. Even when I made it hard."

"You always make it hard," Bulong niya, voice muffled against my skin.

"I'll be better at letting you in."

"I hope so."

I kissed her temple. Her forehead. The side of her mouth.

"I love you," I said softly.

She paused, then nodded. "I love you too."

I held her tighter, my cheek pressed against her hair. The silence between us wasn't empty—it was full of everything we couldn't say earlier, everything we still didn't know how to.

Elise was quiet for a long moment, then slowly pulled back just enough to look at me.

"I have another gift," She said, voice barely above a whisper.

I blinked. "You already gave me something."

She shook her head. "Not that kind."

My heart stuttered a little.

Her hands reached for the hem of her shirt, slow and deliberate—eyes never leaving mine, searching for any sign of hesitation.

"Elise..." I whispered, my voice uncertain, catching on the weight of everything that happened today.

"I want you to feel wanted," She said. "Not just remembered. Not just looked for."

And then, quietly, like a confession. "I want to be the one you come home to. Even on the days you don't want to be found."

Her top came off, smooth and quiet in the low light of the kitchen, revealing bare skin. I reached out, my hand brushing along her arm, feeling the slight tremble in her body. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Only if you want this too."

My breath hitched. Because I did.

I cupped her face, leaned in close, and whispered, "I want all of you. Even the parts you think I'll push away."

And I kissed her once again, her arms wrapped around my nape.

I felt her sigh into the kiss—like something inside her finally gave in. Her fingers tightened against me, as if she was afraid I'd slip away again.

But I wasn't going anywhere.

I deepened the kiss, my hand sliding down to her waist, pulling her closer until there was no space left between us. Her skin was warm beneath my fingertips, and her breath hitched when my lips moved to the corner of her mouth, then her jaw.

"...Let's take this to your room." Her breath shuddered when she said that.

(⚠️: R-18. Syempre, hindi pwedeng hindi sila masaya.)

And without even letting me respond, she stood up and pulled me inside my room, not wasting any second as she pushed me on the bed.

I gulped at the sight of her.

Wala na siyang pang-itaas, and she seemed to be eager when she stripped off her skirt, in front of me. I stared at her, breath caught in my throat.

She stood there—bare, unapologetic, powerful in the way only she could be. Her hair tumbled back down around her shoulders like a wave, framing her face, her expression unreadable yet full of intent. There was something magnetic in the way she looked at me, like she was claiming space she knew she already owned.

"Clothes off, love."

The way she said it—low, almost playful—sent a pulse down my spine.

I didn't move at first. Not out of hesitation, but because I was stunned. My chest rose and fell unevenly as I sat up slightly, eyes locked on hers.

"Elise..." I whispered, as if her name alone could help me breathe better.

She stepped closer, slowly, like she was savoring every inch between us. Then she knelt on the edge of the bed, her fingers ghosting over the hem of my shirt. "Don't make me repeat myself," She murmured.

I caught her wrist gently. "I'm not stopping you."

Her smile was small—mischievous, but soft. She leaned in, brushed her nose against mine, her breath warm. "Good."

And she kissed me again, slower this time—deep and unhurried, as if we had all the time in the world. As if the world outside didn't exist.

She's the only one that can touch me like this—like I'm something precious and familiar all at once. Like she knows every scar and every silence and still chooses to stay.

I let her undress me, piece by piece, not just of the clothes I wore, but the weight I carried all day. Her hands were gentle but sure, trailing over my skin.

I watched her—how focused she was, how careful—and all I could do was breathe her in. Her scent, her warmth, the way her fingers lingered a little longer than necessary, like she was memorizing me all over again.

"Only you," I whispered, barely audible. "Only you can make me feel this safe."

She paused, her forehead resting against mine. Her hand found mine, laced our fingers together, and then her lips brushed against mine again. This time it wasn't slow, it was desperate. Starved.

As if all the silence between us earlier had built up to this moment, and now, she was pouring everything she couldn't say into the way she kissed me.

Her grip tightened on my hand, the other sliding up my bare side, fingers tracing slowly, possessively—like she wanted to memorize every inch. I could feel her breathing hard against me, chest rising and falling like she was trying to catch up with all the things she wanted to feel at once.

"Elise..." I whispered her name, almost like a plea. But I didn't even know what I was asking for—her touch, her closeness, her everything.

"Don't overthink," She whispered back, voice low and raw. "Just stay with me."

And I did.

I pulled her closer, her body molding against mine like it belonged there. Her lips moved down to my neck, featherlight and slow again, teasing—until she bit gently, making me gasp.

"Sorry," She murmured, not sounding sorry at all. "I've waited all day."

Her voice was breathless, teasing, and shaky all at once. One of her hands trailed back down, making me shiver. "You think you can just disappear and come home like that?" She whispered against my skin. "No. I need you to remember this. I want you to remember me."

I didn't answer with words. I just turned my head and kissed her again.

"What else do you want me to do? Because I want you to do what you're best at, Elise. You have full control of me," I whimpered.

She stopped for a moment as she searched my gaze.

"...Just lay down and let me be your gift."

My breath huddered as she hover on top of me, I can feel her wetness on top of my stomach as she slowly grinds on me. Her muffled moans filled the room, her hands kneading both my breasts.

Damn it.

This isn't the first time we've done this— but everytime we do.. it still feels like it.

She bent down and kissed me again, leaving soft trail of kisses on my face.

"Aaahh.." I let out a soft moan when she started to lower her kisses down from my neck until her mouth fully took over my mount. "F-fuck.."

I felt her touching my sensitive nub, rubbing it with her thumb in a quick pace. I couldn't help but squeeze my thighs as the pleasure kept on increasing.

"E-elise.."

"You want it inside you?" She whispered as she looked up.

I swallowed thickly before releasing a gasp when she teased me by inserting one finger. My hands gripped on the hem of the pillow tightly as her kisses went on my abdomen. Tangina, ang bilis niya.

We were always slow, everytime we made love, we were gentle with each other. But this time, she's moving in a quick pace.

Napasinghap na naman ako when she spread my legs and started nibbling on my inner thighs. Putangina, I can't take it any longer.

"Love.." I whimpered when she was close to my center.

She's teasing me.

"Hmm?" Her finger brushed softly.

My body reacted on its own—my back arched, breath catching in my throat. "Aaah.. d-do it."

"Not yet." I heard her say, rubbing my clit slowly—making me suffer from all the pleasure she was withholding from me.

"Elise.. please.."

She chuckled, trailing soft kisses everywhere—everywhere except where I needed her lips the most. "So impatient, my love."

"F-FUCK!" I closed my eyes tightly, letting out a shaky breath as her fingers circled me with torturous slowness. Every nerve in my body burned with want, the pressure coiling unbearably tight in my core.

"That's it," she whispered against my inner thigh, her breath warm and maddening. "Feel everything."

Her lips brushed closer—so close I thought she'd finally give in—but she stopped just shy, her tongue drawing a line of fire along my skin.

"Elise," I whimpered, hips bucking toward her touch, desperate and undone. "I need you."

She met my eyes then, dark with desire but wickedly calm. "You'll have me, baby," She murmured, kissing the inside of my knee. "But only when I say so."

Her fingers dipped lower, pressing just enough to make me cry out again. Pleasure danced on the edge, just out of reach—her favorite kind of control.

"Elise—" Her name fell from my lips like a prayer, like a plea, but she only smirked, eyes gleaming with wicked satisfaction.

"Shh," She cooed, fingers never faltering in their rhythm. "You're shaking."

I was. My thighs trembled beneath her touch, the tension inside me threatening to snap. My hands gripped the sheets, nails digging into the fabric as I tried to anchor myself.

Still, she didn't give me what I craved.

Instead, she leaned in, her lips ghosting over my stomach, her breath leaving goosebumps in its wake. "You begged so pretty," she murmured. "But I want to hear you fall apart."

A sound—half whimper, half sob—escaped me. My body arched, instinctively chasing the high she kept just out of reach.

"Elise, please, I—I can't—"

"You can," She whispered, finally letting her mouth trail lower, lips brushing just barely where I needed them. My back arched. A gasp tore from my throat. "And you will."

Then she gave in—slowly, deliberately—tongue, lips, and fingers working in perfect sync. The world shattered around me.

I broke with her name on my lips.

My vision blurred as wave after wave crashed over me, my breath caught somewhere between a scream and a moan. But Elise didn't stop.

She kept going—relentless, hungry—as if she hadn't waited long enough already.

"Elise—" I gasped, trembling from the aftershocks, legs twitching under her hold.

"You're not done," She said, voice low, almost reverent, but with a dark edge. "I haven't even gotten started."

She slid upward, her mouth finding mine in a deep, intoxicating kiss, the taste of me still fresh on her tongue. I could feel how turned on she was—her body pressed against mine, warm, insistent, demanding.

"Touch me," I whispered, fingers tangling in her hair.

She grabbed my wrists, pinning them above my head with one hand, her breath hot against my ear. "Not yet," She said again, her tone almost cruel in its sweetness. "I'm not done with you."

Then she sank two fingers back inside me without warning, curling them just right, and I cried out, arching into her as if she were the air I needed to breathe.

Her lips found my neck this time—biting, sucking, leaving her mark as my body writhed beneath her.

"You're mine tonight," She murmured, voice rough with want. "Every inch. Every sound. Every shake."

And I was—completely hers. Wrecked and wanting more.

I barely had time to catch my breath before Elise moved again.

She slid her thigh away, and I whimpered at the loss—but her fingers were back between my legs before I could beg, slick and confident, spreading me open like a secret she already knew by heart.

"I told you," She murmured, lips brushing my ear, "I'm not finished with you."

She pulled away just enough to look at me—flushed, trembling, utterly wrecked—and smirked. "I want to see how many times I can break you tonight."

"Elise—" Her name was a whine now, a broken syllable strung with lust and surrender.

"Hands where I left them," She warned softly, and I obeyed, clutching the sheets above my head like a lifeline.

Then she slid down, her mouth hot and sure against me, tongue working slow, deliberate strokes that made my whole body jolt. Her fingers joined in—two, then three—stretching me, filling me, claiming me all over again.

I couldn't stay still. My hips bucked wildly, tears threatening the corners of my eyes as my second orgasm built too fast, too strong.

"Elise—I'm gonna—" My voice cracked, but she didn't stop. Didn't let me stop.

"That's right," She said between licks. "Let it go. Fall apart for me again."

And I did.

The climax tore through me like lightning, making my vision blur, my legs shake, my throat tighten with the rawest sound I'd ever made.

But Elise didn't stop.

She kept licking, kept thrusting, even as I writhed beneath her, oversensitive and gasping, begging for mercy with no words left in me.

"Look at you," She whispered, kissing her way back up my body, slick fingers brushing my lips. "You're shaking."

I was. My body was boneless, ruined—but still burning. Still wanting.

"Elise..." I breathed, unable to think, unable to speak anything else.

She kissed me again—soft this time. Almost gentle. But when she pulled back, her eyes were still dark, wild, and hungry.

"We're not done yet."

My body was limp beneath her, chest rising and falling in shallow breaths, heart pounding so loud it echoed in my ears. But Elise—Elise looked at me like she hadn't even had her fill.

"Too much?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper, though the smirk tugging at her lips said she already knew the answer.

I gave a shaky nod, but she only leaned down and kissed the corner of my mouth, slow and tender—cruel, in the way softness felt like a new kind of torment.

"Then take more."

"Elise, I—I can't—"

"You will." She kissed my throat. "You want to." Another kiss, lower now, between the curve of my breasts. "And I'm going to give you everything until there's nothing left but me."

She shifted again, and I felt it—the wet heat of her pressed against me, skin to skin, her thigh pushing mine apart as she straddled my hips. My breath caught.

"Elise—"

"Let go," She whispered, guiding my hand between her legs, pressing me where she wanted me. "Touch me. Just like that."

Even through the haze, my fingers moved with instinct, learning her rhythm, her breath, the way her body responded—gasping, trembling, so controlled and yet so undone.

She ground down against me slowly, letting our slick skin slide together, the friction unbearable. Her moans spilled into my mouth as she kissed me again, teeth grazing my lower lip, fingers tangling in my hair as if trying to anchor herself.

"Don't stop," She moaned. "God, Aster—don't stop."

And I didn't.

I couldn't.

Not when she was riding me like this, bodies moving in perfect sync, her dominance blurring into desperation, and I realized—she wanted me just as much. Needed me just as wrecked.

She came like thunder—hard, shaking, a sharp cry torn from her throat that she tried to swallow against my skin. Her whole body collapsed onto mine, breathless and trembling.

The room was quiet now, the only sound our uneven breaths and the soft rustling of the sheets as Elise pulled me closer, pressing her warm, sweaty body against mine. Her hands traced lazy patterns on my skin, as if savoring the stillness, the way we fit together in the aftermath.

"You're okay," She whispered, her voice gentler now, the rough edges gone. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I shook my head, my face pressed against her chest, listening to the steady thrum of her heartbeat. I couldn't find words yet, but her touch—her warmth—was enough to convey everything I was feeling. Her fingers combed through my hair, soft and soothing.

"I've got you," she murmured, as though reassuring both of us. Her hand slipped down to hold mine, fingers intertwining. "You're safe here. You don't have to go anywhere."

I exhaled slowly, the weight of her words sinking in, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I let myself truly relax. I closed my eyes, letting the sensation of her calm me, my body still tingling from the moments before, but now wrapped in a quiet, comforting peace.

After a long while, she whispered, "I'm glad it's you."

My heart stuttered in my chest at those words. And though I didn't have the strength to speak, I squeezed her hand a little tighter, letting her feel what I couldn't say out loud.

"Happy Birthday, Aster.."

And I found myself feeling safe as I started to doze off.

...

I woke up, feeling dismantled.. I glanced at the clock on the wall, it's 4:35 am. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ako kaaga nagising, but it felt off.

Elise is still beside me, her arms wrapped around my waist.

I stayed still for a moment, trying not to move too much, afraid to wake her. Her breathing was soft and steady—comforting in a way that made me want to close my eyes again and pretend everything was okay.

But something wasn't.

I couldn't name it. Wala namang ingay. Walang kakaibang ilaw mula sa bintana. No alarm. No call. Just this feeling—this pressure sa dibdib ko na parang may kulang, o may paparating.

Bumuntong-hininga ako. Maybe it was just the heaviness from yesterday. Yung guilt, yung pagod. Maybe my mind was still adjusting from everything that happened. Maybe that was all it was.

And yet...

My hand reached for hers, slowly intertwining our fingers. I glanced down at the ring she gave me, now comfortably resting on my finger. It should've eased the unrest, but it didn't.

Parang may bumubulong sa likod ng isip ko—na dapat akong bumangon. Na dapat kong tingnan kung ayos lang ang lahat. Pero sinubukan kong balewalain.

I closed my eyes again, pressing her hand gently against my stomach. "It's nothing," I whispered to myself. "Wala 'to, Astrea. You're just tired."

I tried to believe it. I tried to match my breath with hers, to let her warmth anchor me.

But the weight in my chest didn't leave.

As I was about to close my eyes and sleep again, bigla na lang nag-vibrate ang phone ko sa side table.

4:37 a.m.

Sino 'to sa ganitong oras?

Maingat kong inabot ang telepono, trying not to wake Elise, whose arm was still draped around my waist. Unknown number. May kaba na agad sa dibdib ko, pero sinagot ko pa rin.

"Hello?"

"Good morning. Is this Astrea Luceria?"

Agad akong napaupo, puso kong kanina'y kalmado biglang bumigat. "Yes... speaking."

Another beat.

"Pamangkin ka ba ni Sandra Luceria?"

Parang may sumabog sa loob ko.

Napahawak ako sa bedsheet, trying to steady my breath. Pakiramdam ko, unti-unting nagdidilim ang paningin ko kahit maliwanag naman sa kwarto.

"Opo," Mahina kong sagot. "Bakit po?"

Tahimik sa kabilang linya. Isang uri ng katahimikan na parang sadya.

Hindi ko pa alam ang sasabihin niya—pero ramdam ko na.

Ramdam kong may mali.

And in that moment, everything around me blurred.

As if the world was about to collapse all over again.