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DS8Uncovered #LuMa #BearCouple #DaggerSeries

CHAPTER 39: WANT

LUNA'S POV

I felt a touch on my hair. I was too tired to move, but I didn't need to. One moment, I was sitting on the cold, hard floor of the bathroom, and the next, I was on Magnus' lap and being hugged by him.

"Don't waste your breath telling me that I didn't need to wake up," he murmured.

Sa kabila ng nararamdaman na pagkahilo ay umangat ang sulok ng labi ko. "Okay."

"You have a couple of messages coming from Donovan. Kaka-message niya lang ulit nang tumayo ako."

I raised my head to look at him when I heard an edge in his tone. "Why do you sound angry?"

"I'm not angry," he denied. Despite the hard set of his face, his hand that was going up and down my back remained gentle. "He should message you at an appropriate time. Gabi na para kulitin ka pa niya."

"Umaga pa sa kanila."

His eyes narrowed at me, but he didn't say anything else. Naiiling na sumandal na lang ako sa kaniya. Always the grumpy gramps.

I don't know how long we stayed sitting on the bathroom floor. Magnus didn't complain, and he just continued to pat my back gently. I was starting to feel sleepy again when I felt Magnus move.

"I can walk," I whispered.

"I got you."

Hindi na ako tumanggi pa nang maramdaman kong umangat ang katawan ko mula sa sahig. When I was a little girl, I loved having someone carry me to bed. Masaya pa rin pala na maranasan iyon kahit ngayon na matanda na ako.

"You're getting lighter."

He said it in the quietest of voices, and I wasn't really sure if he intended for me to hear it. Pilit na iminulat ko ang mga mata ko at nakita kong nakaupo siya sa tabi ng kama habang nakatingin sa akin.

I saw the worry in his eyes before he could hide it from me through a small smile. Maingat na pinalis niya ang mahaba kong buhok na tumatabing sa mukha ko at yumuko siya para halikan ang noo ko.

"Sleep. You need to rest."

I will never stop worrying about him, just as he will never stop worrying about me. It's something that is inevitable, given the feelings we have for each other. I can't make him do what I originally wanted. I can't make him not care, but I also can't make him let me go. Because it's too late. I can see that now. Forcing him to do what I want will only hurt him.

"The list..."

He brushed my hair with his fingers. "Hmm?"

"Should we do them? It's a very short list."

Napatigil siya at napangisi ako lalo na nang makita ko ang biglang pamumula ng mga pisngi niya. "Napaghahalataan ka, hubby bear. I was thinking about the volunteering part. Ember's planning an adoption event for her sanctuary so I thought about going. Technically, nakapagsuot na ako ng wedding dress kaya pwede na nating i-cross out iyon. The first one about not mentioning anything about death is easy that we could do that starting today."

"I-I wasn't thinking about that."

"So it hasn't crossed your mind?" Tumagilid ako ng higa at itinukod ko ang siko ko sa kama at pagkatapos ay nangalumbaba ako. The position pushes my breasts together, giving him quite a view from the neckline of my nightgown.

I might be sick, but I'm still a woman. I know what my face and body look like. And now that we're both not hiding anything from each other, it's easier to see that he's attracted to me the way I am to him.

Tumikhim siya. "Matulog na tayo."

"Tulog o ako?"

For the first time since I've been repeating the same question to him, he couldn't give me an answer. Lumawak ang ngiti ko dahilan para mag-iwas siya ng tingin sa akin.

He moved under the covers, and he pulled the blanket so it would cover the both of us. He raised one of his arms up to his face so he could probably conceal how red he was from me. Pero dahil wala pa akong balak bitawan ang usapan namin ay kumilos ako para lumapit sa kaniya at isinandal ko ang baba ko sa dibdib niya.

I felt him still under me. "Relax, hubby bear."

"I am relaxed," he grumbled.

"You don't look like you are—"

Hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko nang sa isang iglap ay natagpuan ko ang likod ko na nakalapat sa malambot na kama habang sa ibabaw ko ay naroon ang malaking bulto ni Magnus. He has both his hands on my side, caging me in as he towers over me.

My body shivered involuntarily, but it wasn't out of fear or anything. In fact, it feels like it was of anticipation.

"You're right."

"W-What?" I asked.

"I am not relaxed."

"Mags—"

"I want to kiss you hard. I want to hear the little sound you make whenever I do. I want to strip your nightgown off you which has been driving me crazy since we started living together. I want to taste you. I want you writhing under me. I want to bury myself in you."

Holy shit. Never in my life would I have imagined that I would hear the words he just said. Especially not coming from him.

But it wasn't just his words. It was the way he's looking at me right now. His eyes are burning intensely, searing me through and through.

"I want all of that, but I can't have that now."

It was a miracle that I managed to find my voice. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to do it when I know you're too exhausted, and we both haven't slept well for days. I don't want it to be when we're just a few hours away from needing to get out of bed to face our busy schedule." Napasinghap ako nang maramdaman ko ang mainit niya na kamay sa binti ko. He caressed his way up my thigh, creating a blazing path on the skin he touched. He lifted it so that he could hook it around him, crossing whatever inches were left between us. My eyes widened when I felt something hard touch my stomach, and the corner of his mouth tugged up. "When I have you, I want it to be uninterrupted, because there's no way once would be enough for me. Do you understand, LA?"

Galitin na ang lahat, huwag lang si Magnus na wala pang tulog.

"When that times comes, tulog o ikaw?" Bumaba ang mukha niya hanggang sa maramdaman ko ang mga labi niya na dumaiti sa tenga ko. "Tayo. Hindi tayo matutulog."

IPINASA ko kay Lucienne ang malaking paper cup ng kape na iniinuman ko. Nagtatakang nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin dahil may hawak na siya na sa kaniya at ngayon ay dalawa na ang bitbit niya.

Pinanlakihan ko ng mga mata ang babae bago nakangiting humarap ako kay Magnus na may dala rin na cup na sigurado akong tsaa ang laman.

Nang makalapit siya ay kunot ang noo na tinignan niya si Lucienne at ang mga hawak niya. "May balak ka bang mag-writing marathon?"

"Ha?" Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa aming mag-asawa bago siya ngumiti ng matamis. "Hindi naman. I just love coffee, you know?"

"Kaya kailangan uminom ka ng dalawa ng sabay?" Si Kuya Trace ang siyang nagtanong na nakalapit na rin sa amin. "Hindi mo ba alam ang kasabihan?"

"Alin? Ang chihuahua na tsismoso, paglaki kamukha mo?"

Napabunghalit ako ng tawa habang si Magnus naman ay napaubo para ikubli ang sa kaniya.

Dinutdot ni Kuya Trace ang noo ni Lucienne. "Coffee nang coffee kaya nauwi sa coffin."

"Ang morbid ng kasabihan mo. But don't worry. Kapag na-tegi ako ikaw ang una kong dadalawin." Nag-thumbs up pa ang babae.

"Bakit? Kasi mamimiss mo ako?"

"Hindi. Kasi isasama kita."

Napahagikhik ako at nang lingunin ko si Magnus ay nakita kong imbis na nasa dalawa ang atensyon niya ay sa akin siya nakatingin. There was something about the way he looks at me that feels so tender.

When my brother and Lucienne start their banter, people usually can't help but give them their attention. Nakaka-enjoy kasi silang mag-asaran. But the way Magnus gazes at me feels like he is more drawn to my laughter. Like it was the one thing he enjoyed the most.

"Here, drink this. Malamig masyado ngayon." Inabot ni Magnus ang zipper ng jacket na suot ko at itinaas niya iyon. "And stop drinking coffee. You already finished a giant-sized one this morning. Kapag uminom ka pa mahihirapan kang makatulog mamaya."

Napanguso ako at nalukot ang ilong ko. Of course he knows. It's rare that he misses things.

He tapped my nose. "You know I'm right."

Yumakap ako sa bewang niya at sandali kong nakalimutan na may mga matang nanonood sa amin. "Makakatulog pa rin naman ako kapag napagod—"

"Mama!" Napatakip ako sa tenga ko nang bigla na lang sumigaw si Kuya Trace. Nakatingala siya sa langit habang humihiyaw na parang batang nagmamaktol. "Mama si Luna! Ang laswa!"

Nakasimangot na umigkas ang paa ko para sipain siya pero mabilis siyang nakaiwas. Inismiran ko siya bago ako muling bumaling kay Magnus na may nanunudyong ngiti sa mga labi. "That wasn't what I was talking about." Pababang pinalakad ko ang dalawa kong daliri mula sa dibdib niya. "Pero pwede rin naman."

Hinuli niya ang kamay ko nang makarating iyon sa tiyan niya. Inangat niya iyon at hinalikan niya ang palad ko bago siya yumuko para bumulong sa akin. "Patience, LA."

My lips pursed again when he moved away and gave me a grin before walking away to go help my brothers. Marami pa kasing mga gamit na kailangan ipasok dito sa Embrace's Sanctuary. Marami kasing nag-donate ng mga gamit at pagkain para sa mga alaga nila Ember.

Sinundan ko ng tingin ang asawa ko. Despite the cold air, he's only wearing a black shirt because he gave me his jacket. His shirt clings to him in a way that feels indecent to me because I'm extremely interested in what it's covering.

"Nawawalan na ako ng pasensya minsan," bulong ko sa hangin. "Lalo na kapag ganito na ang sarap niyang talunan."

"Mama!" palahaw ulit ni Kuya Trace na ikinatalon ko.

Inambaan ko siya ng suntok bago naiiling na kinuha ko ang kape ko mula kay Lucienne at inabot ko iyon sa kapatid ko.

"Ayoko nga nito. Nalawayan na ni Lucienne 'to baka matetano pa ako," nakasimangot na sabi niya.

Binigyan siya ng matalim na tingin ng babae. "Anong akala mo sa akin? Kalawang?" She crossed her arms. "Magpa-anti tetanus shot ka. Ako nga nag-effort magpa-anti rabies para sa'yo eh."

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. Kahit kailan talaga ang dalawang 'to. "Hindi kay Lucienne 'yan. Sa akin iyan."

"Eh bakit na kay Lush?"

"Kasi ayokong mapagalitan ako ng asawa ko."

Napapalatak siya. "You know what they say about a controlling relationship—aray!" Hinimas niya ang nasaktan na hita na basta ko na lang sinipa. "Alam mo feeling ko talaga pinaglihi ka sa kabayo ni Mama." Inangat niya ang cup ng kape at uminom. "Maiwan ko na nga kayong mga bubwit kayo at baka namimiss na ako ng asawa ko."

I blinked at him slowly. "Mas maliit si Ember kesa sa akin."

"Alam ko. Pero ang asawa ko mukhang prinsesa, ikaw mukhang daga."

Umakto akong sisipain siya ulit pero tatawa-tawang naglakad na siya paalis. I rolled my eyes and turned to Lucienne. "Gawan mo na nga ng part two ang libro ni Kuya at gawin mong tragic."

"Pwede naman kung hindi lang involve si Ember sa kaniya."

I let out a sigh. "Oo nga pala. Si Ember lang talaga ang concern natin eh. Offeran mo kaya ng milyon para iwanan niya na si kuya at magkaroon siyang magandang buhay na walang sakit ng ulo?"

"Mas mayaman sa atin 'yon."

Parehas kaming napahagikhik sa pinag-uusapan namin. Totoo naman kasi, though. Pwede na ngang masabi na literal na heredera si Ember.

Napalapit ako kay Lush nang may maramdaman akong bumangga sa paa ko. Sa kabila ng katotohanan na di hamak na mas maliit sa akin ang babae ay hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko na bahagyang magtago sa likod niya nang makita ko ang malaking puting aso na hindi ko alam kung dapat pang tawagin na aso kasi parang kasing laki na siya ng maliit na pony.

We didn't have pets in the house while growing up. Masyadong busy ang buhay ng mga magulang ko para magkaroon ng alagang hayop. Kaya kahit wala naman akong problema sa mga hayop ay hindi ko pa rin napipigilan paminsan-minsan na kabahan kapag nasa paligid sila lalo pa kapag hindi ako handa at basta na lang silang sumusulpot.

"I'm planning to get one of Potchi's babies."

Napakurap ako. Potchi is Kuya Trace's west highland terrier. "Buntis si Potchi? Sinong ama?"

"Hindi pa. Pero kung sakali si Mochi ang magiging tatay."

She's talking about the schweenie that Ember adopted. "Oh, I remember Ember saying something about allowing Potchi to be a mother once."

"Yup. Pero family lang ang aampon. Gusto kasi ni Ember na ang focus talagang mapa-adopt ay ang rescues. That's why Mochi will get neutered after."

"Sure ka, though? A puppy could be too much of a commitment."

Nagkibit-balikat siya. "Malalaki na naman ang mga bata. Saka maganda iyong lumaki sila na marunong sa hayop." The huge dog circled around Lucienne to get to me and I naturally moved away. "Para hindi naduduwag katulad mo."

Nilukutan ko ng ilong ang babae bago ako tumigil sa ginagawa kong pag-ikot. Sa laki ng aso at sa laki ko rin ay baka maitumba namin si Lucienne ng wala sa oras.

"You're a persistent one, aren't you?" I asked her. Inangat ko ang kamay ko sa direksyon niya at kaagad siyang lumapit para ilagay ang ulo niya sa ilalim ng palad ko. "Who would have thought that a dog could be this huge?"

"She's not even a year old."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "What?"

Inginuso ni Lucienne ang aso. "Tuta pa lang 'yan. Malaki lang siyang talaga. She was rescued from a house that does backyard breeding. Itinakbo ng mga iyon ang mas mahal nilang mga aso tapos iniwan nila 'yan kasi ang sabi aksidente lang na nabuntisan ang great dane nila ng stray dog. She won't get sold for much, and she has a couple of health issues that are treatable if one will put in the effort, but obviously they can't be hassled with that, so they left her. "

My heart breaks for the dog. "That's terrible." Marahang hinaplos ko ang ulo niya. "Don't worry, someone will love you and give you your forever home."

"Bakit hindi mo na lang ampunin? Mukha namang gusto ka niya."

If I could, I would. But having a pet is a lifetime commitment. It will be hard if I keep her only to leave her. That's another heart that I will break. "Magnus and I have a hectic life. Kawawa naman siya kung lagi siyang maiiwan."

The dog looked up at me, her light brown eyes speaking so much, even though I couldn't understand them.

"I'll ask Ember to keep her for you."

Napatingin ako sa babae. "Lush—"

Nagkibit-balikat siya. "Take her when you're ready. Kung hindi naman, okay lang. This farm is big enough to keep her, and Ember wouldn't mind. Si Potchi nga aso nating lahat kahit kay Trace siya dahil lagi naman natin siyang nakikita. Luna, life will never stop being busy, and that's okay. We do what we have to do, but that doesn't mean that we can't have the things we want to have."

Sometimes, Lucienne speaks like an older sister. Kapag hindi siya nagbibiro at puro kalokohan, doon ko nakikitang sumilip ang isang parte ng pagkatao niya. She has always been a big sister to me, even though our relationship is more like that of friends.

"Have I ever told you that you're really perfect for my brother?" I asked her.

"Yup. Pero pwede mo namang ulitin." Kumindat siya. "Hindi uso sa akin ang magpaka-humble kaya welcome ang mga papuri mo."

Nangingiting marahan na tinapik ko ang aso habang nakatingin sa kaniya. "Keep making him happy, will you?"

"Siyempre naman." Kumunot ang noo niya. "Kung makapagsalita ka naman parang aalis ka. Saan ba ang punta mo at hindi kami kasama?"

Sa lugar na hindi ko gustong sumama kayo.

"Mag ha-honeymoon kami ng asawa ko. Saan ba maganda?"

_____________________________End of Chapter 39.