"I'm happy now, Cassidy," nakangiting sabi Christian habang nakatingin sa nakatalikod na si Theia.She excused herself to go to the comfort room for a while. Psyche is with her boyfriend kaya hindi siya kasama ngayon. I gave Christian a fake smile. "I can see that. Good for you." Hindi ko mapigilang mabahiran ng bitterness ang tono ko. Am I the only one here who feels miserable?Christian tapped my shoulder. "It's all thanks to you. Naalala mo no'ng umalis ka dati? Sabi mo dapat pagbalik mo, kami na. I decided to make a move. Thanks, Cassi.""Cassi, you have to make a move. In order for you to be happy, you have to do something," may laman niyang saad.Bumuntonghininga ako at pinaglaruan ang straw ng macchiato ko.Bumalik na si Theia. She slid on the chair next to Christian. "What's going on?" nagtatakang tanong niya.Umiling nalang ako at pinilit kong ngumiti. Nagtaas siya ng kilay but she knows better than to press me for information, so she just shrugged it off. After an hour, we decided to go home.I boarded a cab and told the cabbie where I wanted him to drop me off.Habang nasa taxi ako ay hindi ko mapigilang maalala ang gabing naospital si Drei. That was the night I cut ties with Aaron. That was the night I asked him to let me go and he did. That was the night I lost him forever.Pagkatapos ng gabing 'yon ay hindi na ulit siya nagpakita. He regularly calls the twins at pinapasundo niya ito sa bahay. But he remained true to his words. When he bade his farewell, I actually felt that he meant it. I knew I had no right to cry and be broken about it but I was.In two months, I'll be Drei's wife. I eyed the engagement ring on my finger. It felt painful to look at.Pinadala 'to ni Aaron sa bahay the night Drei got discharged. After no'ng gabing pinili ko si Drei ay hindi ko na nakita pa ni ang anino ni Aaron.I have to put it all together. And now, it's been a month.We're flying out in a few days. ---"Ano'ng ginagawa mo riyan?" tanong ko kay Drei na naghihintay sa akin. He pouted at me. "Hinihintay ka. Masama bang hintayin ang pag-uwi ng fiancee ko? Masama ka bang ma-miss?" paglalambing niya."Ewan ko sa 'yo, Drei. Baka makasinghot ka na naman ng alikabok. Pumasok ka na nga sa loob."Kinuha niya 'yong mga pinamili ko para sa kambal at inakbayan ako. Sabay na kaming pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Nadatnan namin si manang na nakikipaglaro sa dalawa. Xiana and Xander ran towards me and hugged my legs."Mommy! We're home! Daddy has a meeting so he sent us home even if it's early."Pinilit kong ngumiti pero ngiwi ang lumabas sa bibig ko. I patted their heads. "Mommy bought new clothes for you two."Xander was the first one to rummage into the paperbags. He said thanks and ran to their room while carrying it. Xiana found the pink dress I bought for her and she said she's gonna try it on.I would've made it to my room if Drei didn't call me."Cassidy! Ilang araw ka nang hindi kumakain nang matino. I swear you have got to stop doing that. Ang payat mo na. Look at you! You don't even look like you anymore," pagalit na sambit ni Drei.Humarap ako sa kanya. "Drei, 'wag kang mag-alala. Okay lang ako. Hindi bagay maging OA," pagbibiro ko.Pagkasabi ko no'n ay pumanhik na ako sa kuwarto. Umupo ako sa kama at natulalang napatingin nalang sa pader ng kuwarto ko.
God, I miss him so much.Hindi ko na naman napigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko.. I've never felt so helpless and alone before.Biglang bumukas ang pinto ng kuwarto kaya marahas akong napapunas ng luha ko. It was no use anyway. Drei already saw it. He walked towards me and cupped my face. He wiped my tears using his thumb. Nakita ko ang lungkot sa mga mata niya ngunit hindi ko alam kung para saan 'yon."I hate seeing you cry."Gaya ng dati, I gave him a synthetic smile. "Naalala ko lang kasi no'ng naospital ka. Natakot ako. 'Yon lang 'yon," pagpapalusot ko.He doesn't look convinced. He let go of my face and stared at me. "'Yon ba talaga 'yong dahilan?""Oo," I lied again.Yumuko ako. Narinig ko nalang ang pagpapakawala niya ng buntonghininga."It's Aaron," Anas niya.Gulat na nagtaas ako ng tingin. "Sinabi ko na sa 'yo na naalala ko lang 'yong nangyari sa 'yo kaya ako naiiyak. Kaya 'wag mong bigyan ng ibang kahulugan!"I can't help but shout. Biglang nabuhay 'yong galit sa puso ko, lalong naging intense 'yong sakit no'ng banggitin niya ang pangalan ni Aaron.Kalmado parin niya akong tiningnan. "He's the reason why you're acting like this. He's the reason why you're almost starving yourself to death, why you always seem pre-occupied, why you are always zoning out. And why you're always crying at night," malungkot niyang sabi. "I check on you every night, Cassidy. At lagi kong nararamdaman ang tuyong luha sa mga pisngi mo 'pag hinahaplos ko ito. You don't have to hide it from me.""Bakit ba natin to kailangang pag-usapan? Pagod ako!. Gusto ko nalang magpahinga, please!" My tears fell non-stop.I was about to turn my back when he pulled me. "No, Cassidy. We will talk about this and we will talk about this now," pinal niyang saad. Nabakas ko ang konting galit at pagsuko sa boses niya."Drei, I don't want a fight right now, so, please."He held my gaze. "I don't want a fight either."Umiling nalang ako bago ko siya tuluyang tinalikuran. Sumampa ako sa kama at nagtalukbong ng kumot. I know he wouldn't leave so I resorted to being stubborn. Aaron is a sour topic for me. Hindi ko kayang hindi siya pag-usapan nang hindi nagbe-break down."Cassidy," Drei used his warning tone but I didn't budge. He let out a resigned sigh. "Cassidy, ayoko na nang ganito.""Ayoko rin nang ganto, Drei. I just to be alone. I'm so damn tired," sagot ko."Cassidy, hindi mo 'ko naiintindihan. Iba ang ibig kong sabihin ng ayoko na. Ayoko na nang ganito. Pagod na 'kong magpanggap na mahal mo 'ko. Pagod na 'kong magbulag-bulagan na magiging okay tayo. Pagod na 'kong lokohin ang sarili ko. Naririnig mo ba ako?"His voice cracked and I stiffened. Hindi ako nakagalaw sa ilalim ng kumot."It hurts to see you hurting everyday. It hurts to see you cry. It hurts to know that those tears are for somebody else."Inalis ko ang kumot at nilingon siya. Nakita kong namumula na 'yong gilid ng mga mata niya. Binalot ng sakit ang puso ko. Napaupo ako sa kama at napatingin lang sa kanya."I just can't take it anymore. Hindi rin ako makatulog dahil alam kong dahil may dalawang taong nasasaktan. Yes, I want you to stay with me but not like this! I want you to stay because you want to and not just because you're obliged to do so."His tears fell one by one and I remained rooted in place."I don't have your heart anymore." He was crying while saying those."Believe me, I tried. I tried so hard," naiiyak kong tugon.Lumapit siya at hinaplos ang pisngi ko."It's okay. Je te crois. Hindi ako galit. Kung 'yon ang iniisip mo, then ngayon palang sinasabi ko na na hindi ako galit. I can't stay mad at you and you know that. I don't know how to hate you."I hugged him and cried on his shoulder. Kahit kelan talaga napakabait ni Drei. Hindi ko deserve ang tulad niya.Hinaplos niya ang buhok ko. Alam kong nasasaktan siya ngayon pero wala akong magawa para pawiin ito."Be with whoever makes you happy..." bulong niya sa tenga ko.Hindi makapaniwalang tumingin ako sa mga mata niya. I saw sadness and acceptance."You make it sound so simple. I don't want to hurt you. Ayoko nang maospital ka ulit dahil sa sobrang sama ng loob. Ayokong sapitin mo 'yon ulit."Pinunasan niya ulit ang mga luha ko sa hindi ko na mabilang na pagkakataon. Umiling siya nang marahan at hinalikan ang noo ko."You don't have to worry about me. I'll be okay. Magiging maayos ako, hindi ko papabayaan ang sarili ko. I'll be fine," paninigurado niya.I hugged him again and sobbed. I admire his courage."I'm giving you up. I love you enough to set you free."This time it was I who wiped his tears away."Someday, a girl will come and she'll sweep you off your feet. Someday you'll be happy too," I assured him.Nginitian niya 'ko bago unti-unting tumango. Kinuha niya 'yong kamay ko at tiningnan ang engagement ring na ibinigay niya ."Someone out there deserves this ring far better than I do," sambit ko."I only borrowed you," he said, at dahan-dahang hinubad niya ang singsing sa daliri ko."Now I'm giving you back to him."ىJ