Chapter Eleven
ANAIS
"Coco..." I sighed as I held the phone in my hand. "I'm not sure ready na akong sabihin kay Dad. Natatakot ako."
"It's been a week, Anais. We can't hide this forever. Soon, it'll show." I heard him sigh.
"I don't know if I can do this." My voice squeaked.
"We'll do it together. You know, just like how we did the baby."
"Gago ka talaga! For once, seryosohin mo naman ito. We're going to be dead, Coco! DEAD! Papatayin tayo ni Dad kapag nalaman niya ito. Why do I feel like you're treating this as a joke?"
"I am not, Anais. Believe me. I'm just trying to make the most out of my remaining days here on earth."
"Halos mabaliw na ako kakaisip kung paano ko ipaliliwanag sa kanila tapos ikaw ginagawa mo lang biro ito! Palibhasa hindi kasi ikaw ang nabuntis!" I swallowed the sob rising in my throat.
"Anais... I'm sorry, okay? Please don't cry. I know our situation is difficult by I'll be with you every step." His voice was soothing and gentle.
"Hindi mo kasi ako naiintindihan. I'll be the one carrying this child. Ako ang lalaki yung tiyan. Ako ang mapapag-usapan. You can get away with this and I can't! How will I even explain this to people? Ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanila? Na nabuntis ako ng bestfriend ko?" My voice shook as tears began to sting my eyes.
I heard another sigh on the other end of the line. And then it went dead.
"Coco? Hoy, Coco!" I screamed and then there was nothing but beeps. I angrily threw my phone to my bed. I already felt scared and now I was abandoned by the only person who knows about my situation. Maybe he got fed up with me being a bitch to him 24/7. What would happen to me now?
I slipped into my bed and buried my face into my pillow to muffle my sobs as I cried.
Bumukas ang bintana sa kwarto ko. Coco climbed into my room and carefully sat on the edge of my bed.
"Hey, are you crying?" He tucked some hair behind my ear. "Anais, bakit umiiyak ka?"
"Ikaw kasi! Binabaan mo ako ng phone!" Humihikbing sabi ko. "I thought... I thought you've abandoned me..."
"Abandon you?" He looked surprise. "Binaba ko lang yung phone kasi pupuntahan kita. Scoot a little will you?"
Umurong ako at tumabi siya sa akin. He wrapped his arm around my waist and rested his hand on my tummy.
"I know things are hard right now but it never crossed my mind to abandon you. Sa tingin mo pababayaan kitang mag-isa? No matter what happens I'll be here for you and the baby."
"You don't get me. You only have to worry about my Dad and your parents but I also have to worry about what other people will think of me. Ni hindi ko nga boyfriend ang nakabuntis sa akin. I got pregnant by my bestfriend. By you..."
"Why do you make it seem like a bad thing? I mean, it's bad that you got pregnant at a young age but come on, it's not really worse than getting pregnant by a boyfriend. Hindi mo man ako boyfriend, special ang relationship natin. We know each other more than any of the people around us. Not everyone will understand our situation but what really matters is that we understand each other."
"I'm scared."
"I am too. But why should we? Whether we like it or not, the baby will come and change our lives." He began stroking my tummy.
"Ano ang sasabihin natin kay Daddy?" I sniffed.
"The truth." He answered and wiped away my tears. "Mabuti pa matulog ka na. Everything will be okay. Kapag nasabi na natin bukas makakahinga na tayo ng maluwag."
Dad was in a conference today so he'd be home later than usual. It borrowed me sometime to ready myself. Nagluto ako ng favorite niyang food, bouillabaisse. I even called grandma Lottie and asked for her recipe because Mom said her recipe was his favorite.
"Ano ba ang okasyon ngayon, Anais?" Mom asked, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching me as I cook in front of the stove.
I stopped steering and turned my head. "Mom, you love me right?"
"What kind of question is that? You know I do!"
"Will you still love me even if I did something wrong?" I bit my bottom lip.
She smiled. "Anais, you're my daughter. Even if you murder someone, I will still love you. Hindi magbabago yun."
"Mom..." Lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap siya. I buried my face into her shoulders and tried so hard to hold my tears.
"Ano bang nangyayari, Anais? Tell me..." She gently asked.
"You'll know later." My voice croaked a little.
Mom exhaled and kissed my head. "Whatever it is, alam mong nandito kami ng Dad mo para sa'yo. I don't want you to ever be scared to tell us anything."
"Hi Tita Val, hi Anais..." Coco's head popped into the kitchen door.
"Hey, Coco. You came just right in time. Nagdinner ka na ba? Nagluluto si Anais ng favorite ng Dad niya, you might want to try it." Mom invited him. Normal naman na nagshoshow up na lang bigla bigla si Coco sa bahay namin. He'd come over to our house whenever he wanted to and he treats our house just like his own. Makapal kasi ang mukha niyan eh. The only rule Dad set him was to never step foot in my room. Ayaw na ayaw ni Dad. That was a big no-no to him. Kahit noong bata kami. He was okay with me and Audrey playing in my room but with Coco hindi talaga.
He said it wasn't appropriate to let a boy inside a girl's room. He didn't want me going to Coco's room either. Back then, I never really understood why. Coco and I were the best of friends. Mas naging close kami kay Audrey. Coco always had the latest game console and videogames and his window was just right across from mine. May puno sa pagitan ng bintana namin and I really wanted to play with him. Kaya yun, I learned to climb out of my window to get to his so we could play together. Ngayon naiintindihan ko na kung bakit kami pinagbabawalan ni Dad noon. If we didn't go sneaking into each other's bedrooms, this baby wouldn't have happened.
"I still haven't actually. Narinig ko nga na nagluto si Anais." He smiled at Mom and walked in. My face scrunched when I saw what he was wearing. A suit. A fancy formal suit.
"Oh look at you! You look handsome in your suit." Natutuwang sabi ni Mom. "Where have you been?"
"May dinaanan lang, Tita." He kissed him on the cheek.
"You're all grown up now." She patted him on the shoulder. "Parang kailan lang ang liliit niyo pa ni Anais. Madalas nga kayong mag-away nun."
He let out an obviously nervous chuckle. He then turned his gaze to me. I frowned at him. What was he thinking when he decided to wear that? Seriously?
"Anais, yung food na niluluto mo baka masunog." Mom reminded.
"Ma'am, dumating na po yung kotse ni sir." One of our help said.
"Okay, thanks Nena." Sabi ni Mommy. "Nandyan na pala si Axel. He'll be so surprised kapag nalaman niya na ang princess niya ang nagluto sa kanya ng favorite food niya. I think ready na naman yan. Ikaw na ang bahala magprepare, pupuntahan ko lang ang Daddy mo."
"O—okay..." I croaked a little, feeling my throat dry.
Iniwan na kami ni Mommy. Coco was a little more tensed than when he walked into the kitchen. I was so nervous and I knew he was too. I tried to turn my attention elsewhere. Kinuha ko ang casserole dish na paglalagyan ng food.
"Here, let me help you." Coco offered nang isasalin ko na ang niluto ko sa lalagyan. He took the pot and poured its contents to the dish.
"Ano ba yang suot mo?" I looked at him from head to toe. "You are so overdressed."
"I just want to be ready." He said.
"Ready for what? What do you expect? Magpapaparty si Dad pag nalaman niya. He's so gonna kill us." I worriedly said, putting my hand on my forehead.
"Exactly. Ayaw kong mamroblema pa si Mama at si Dad sa susuotin ko. Kung mapatay man ako ng Daddy mo diretso na sa kabao." He let out a nervous chuckle.
"He-he!" I made a face at him. "This is no time to be joking!
"Okay, I'm serious now." He put on a straight face.
"Sa ibang araw na lang kaya... I can't do this now..." I fidgeted with my fingers.
"We're doing this now, Anais. I've mentally and physically preparing myself for this since last week." He took my cold and shaking hands with his colds hand. "It's going to be okay. We ride together, we die together."
"I don't want to die. Mag-isa ka!" I snatched my hands from his. "Will you just bring the food to the dining room?"
Okay, here it is. We were going to do it. I prepared for this but still, stomach felt like it was tied into knots. I'd practice how I'd break the news to him, I knew what to say and how to say it. I just didn't know if I'd be able to do and say all those things I had practiced. My mind was in shambles.
We brought the food to the dining table and all we could do was stare at each other. Ramdam ko ang nerbiyos ni Coco. He'd fixed his tie over and over. He'd loosened his button down shirt. I wanted to say something to him, anything, but I couldn't get a word out. Parang natuyo ang lalamunan ko.
"My ballet teacher told me that I'm getting better." Naririnig ko na ang boses ni Bryce.
"That's good, honey. Next week ako ang sasama sa practice mo para mapanood kita." Dad answered.
Dad walked in with Mom and Bryce. My heart pounded so heart it started to hurt. Dad lifted his gaze to me and smiled.
"Hi, honey." He smiled.
It took me a few seconds to respond. "Uh, hi Dad!"
"You look like you've seen a ghost." He laughed and held his arm to me. "Come here, give me a hug."
Natatarantang lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap siya. I hugged him extra tight and long than usual. He kissed me on the forehead.
"Hey... are you okay?" He asked and then I pulled away.
I forced a smile and nodded my head. "Yeah. Nagluto ako ng bouillabaisse."
"Wow! Really?" Lalong lumaki ang ngit ni Dad.
"Kanina pa busy yang anak mo sa kitchen. She even asked her grandma for her recipe." Mom said.
"You did? That's so sweet of you." Sabi ni Dad. "Do you want anything? May ipapabili ka ba sa akin? I'm sure it's expensive."
"Wala, Dad. I just want to make something for you and Mom. Halika na so we can have dinner." I turned my back to him so he wouldn't see the tears in the corners of my eyes.
"Hey, Coco! You're all dressed up, huh." Dad noticed. "Ano ba ang okasyon ngayon? Aakyat ka ba ng ligaw?"
Coco just let out a nervous laugh.
"I just hope hindi sa anak ko. You know my rules, young man, and if you break any of it you know what will happen. I will murder for my daughters." He sounded as if he was joking but there was an undertone of warning. "Pero alam ko naman na magbestfriend lang kayo ni Anais. May tiwala ako sa'yo, Coco."
"Just sit down. Ikaw naman! Pati si Coco ba naman tatakutin mo? We've known this kid since he was a baby. He's your bestfriend's son and your daughter's bestfriend! Alam mo masyado ka nang paranoid." Mom rolled her eyes.
"I'm just kidding." Dad chuckled. "Kilala ko naman yang batang yan. He's my bodyguard when it comes to Anais. Kaya nga siya ang paborito ko. Come on, kid! Join us for dinner."
Coco loosed up his shirt for the nth time. We quietly sat together and helped ourselves with the food I cooked. Mom and him were talking about the conference he had today. He just closed a huge deal, his client was up there on the top ten list of the richest men in the world. Dad runs a multinational financial company. The leading financial service company in the Philippines and ranked the third best in Asia.
"So, uh, Mom, Dad... nagustuhan niyo ba?" I asked, trying to open up a conversation.
"Of course, honey. Basta ikaw ang gumawa, masarap para sa akin." Dad answered.
"It's good." Mom said. "You're really growing up now. Natututo ka nang magcook."
"I'm glad you liked it." I lowered my gaze to the food. No, I couldn't do this. Dad was so happy and I didn't want to ruin it.
From under the table, Coco took my hand and pressed it as if telling me to speak up. He probably sensed na gusto ko na umurong.
I turned my head to him and subtly shook my head. I could see the fear in his eyes and it reflected mine. We were both scared but the difference between us was that he was ready to face his fear. He frowned at me and looked at Dad who was busy with Bryce and Mom.
"Tito..." Nagsalita si Coco.
"Dad!" I panicked.
They stopped and turned their attentions to us.
"What is it, honey?" Dad asked.
"Tito, may sasabihin kami ni Anais."
His brows furrowed as he looked at me and then he looked at Coco. Really looked at him as though he sensed that we did something wrong.
"What is it?" He repeated a little lower. "TALK!"
"Honey..." Hinawakan ni Mommy ang kamay ni Dad na parang pinakakalma siya.
I couldn't control my emotions any longer. Hot tears pushed their way out of my eyes and down to my cheeks. My palms were sweaty, I felt like my stomach had been pushed into my throat and my heart was beating rapidly. "Dad, I'm pregnant..."
Pushing those words out of my mouth felt as though I'd run a hundred miles. I slumped against my seat, completely out of energy.
Mom took in a sharp breath, dropping the spoon she had in her had. Shock was written all over her face. Dad, on the other hand, remained stoic. I couldn't see any reactions on his face and it scared me even more.
"No..." Mom buried her face into her palms and cried. "How could that be? You're still a baby, Anais!"
"Mom, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." I sobbed. I wouldn't to come up to her and hug her but it felt like I was glued to my chair.
"Who's the father?" Dad asked in an eerily low and calm tone.
"I... I am, Tito." Coco answered.
"You son of a bitch." He uttered through gritted teeth and then he calmly stood up from his seat. Biglang nahinto si Mommy ng umalis si Dad. She stood up and urgently ran after him.
"What is pregnant?" Tanong ni Bryce.
"Just finish your dinner." I said and buried my face into Coco's shoulder to muffle the sound of my cries.
"Anais... I... I think I'm going to have a heart attack." He admitted, massaging his chest.
"AXEL! What are you doing? GIVE ME THAT!" Narinig ko ang boses ni Mommy. "AXEL! ANO BA? Akin na sabi yan!"
"Val, stay out of this." He said as he stepped back into the dining room. I lifted my head up to see him holding a rifle in his hand. The rifle he uses for hunting. Coco's muscles tensed.
"Dad..." I said as I looked at his weapon. It was his favorite rifle. I'd seen him shoot a coyote with that gun when we went camping in Wyoming. My Dad was a pretty good hunter. Hunting kasi ang isa sa mga paboritong sport nila ni Granpa Auggie. We'd fly to the States with my grandparents including Lolo Jaime and we'd go camping every hunting season. Lolo Jaime was completely against hunting, he never participated because he thought killing animals should never be a sport. Anyway, it was never a pretty scene. The coyotes convulse violently after getting shot and then they die with blood oozing out of their bodies.
Biglang napatayo si Coco mula sa kinauupuan niya. He took steps back until his back hit the wall behind him.
"W—what are you going to do?"
"Axel, bigay o sabi sa akin yan!" Mom tried to snatch the rifle from him pero nalayo niya ito. "Think about me and the kids."
"Bryce, Anais leave!" He commanded. Mabilis na sumunod si Bryce ng tawagin siya ni Mommy at kinuha siya ng Yaya niya palabas.
He lifted the rifle to his shoulder like he was hunting a coyote.
"Tito..." Coco lifted his two hands like he was surrendering.
"Don't Tito me, you bastard! I can't believe you'd do this to me! I trusted you! Hayop ka, ang lakas ng loob. Sa dami-rami ng babae sa mundo, anak ko pa ang pinakialaman mo!" He aimed for Coco.
"N—no! Dad, please... don't kill him." Tumakbo ako kay Coco at humarang sa harap niya. I begged him while I cried. "Please, Dad..."
"Umalis ka d'yan, Anais!" Mariin na utos niya.
"Axel, ano ba? Nababaliw ka na ba? Put that down! NOW! " Mom said, I knew she was trying hard to steady her shaking voice. Mom managed to grab hold of the gun pero hindi pa rin ito binitawan ni Daddy.
"Val babe, let go..." Dad gently said. "Let go, baby. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Ayaw kong madamay ka dito."
"Axel, please... huwag kang padalos-dalos. Pag-usapan muna natin ito." Pakiusap ni Mommy. Mom subtly gestured us to leave as she distracted my Dad. He just totally went full on psycho there! Coco and I slowly and carefully sneaked out of the dining room.
"We're going to talk, alright. Man to man." Sabi ni Daddy.
"I don't want you to go to jail." Mom said.
Nakalabas na kami ng dining hall at patakbong lumabas. I was so scared. Nanlalambot ang mga tuhod ko. I really thought Coco would be one of those coyotes he had shot. I opened the front door to let Coco out.
"Coco, hurry!" I heard Mom's voice.
Coco was only a few steps away from the front door when Dad came out his huge rifle. He aimed again at him and fired a shot. It missed him. Tumama iyon sa pader, it just a few inches away from his head. I knew if Dad wanted him killed, he would be dead right now. Dad was a good hunter, he never missed. "Sige! Tumakbo ka! I'll hunt you like the animal you are!"
Coco paused and raised both his hands with his back to Dad. "T—tito! I'm... I'm not going to run."
"Dad, stop it already!" Pakiusap ko sa kanya.
"We're just going to talk." There was a menacing and smug smirk on his face as he walked towards Coco. Then he hit Coco's in the back of his neck with the rifle's handle and he folded like a paper to the ground. He groaned in pain. Humarap si Coco sa kanya habang nasa sahig ito at itinaas ang isang kamay.
"Tito, please I'm not going to fight back." He said.
"FUCK YOU!" He hit him in the face with his gun and then he hit him again. Blood came flying from his face to the ground, splattering everywhere.
"Oh my god, Axel! Leave the boy alone! He's a kid, for Christ's sake!" Mom shrieked.
"Dad! NOOO!" I screamed bloody murder. Nilapitan ko si Coco at niyakap siya. He began to cough and then he spat out blood, lots of it. I looked up at Dad, crying. "What have you done?"
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