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The following day in class proved to be the longest and most painful Baris had ever experienced. He tried to start a casual conversation with Deniz, but Deniz completely ignored him. Baris quickly realized the gravity of his confession and the depth of Deniz's discomfort. He had no choice but to give up and bury the fresh wound deep in his heart. They did not exchange another meaningful word for the rest of high school, parting ways after graduation without so much as a final farewell.
Years passed. Baris was now a freshman in university. His class monitor announced a class reunion, and every former classmate received an invitation. This event immediately presented an unexpected opportunity for Baris to see Deniz again, and he looked forward to it with a nervous, consuming anticipation.
The reunion finally arrived. The class had assembled at a local karaoke bar. Baris was the first person to arrive, checking his watch every five minutes. Every time the heavy door swung open, he anxiously peeked out, but the figure was never Deniz. Even after the entire rest of the class had gathered, Deniz was still absent. Baris felt a profound melancholy settle over him as he observed the subtle differences in everyone since graduation.
The whole class took turns singing terrible karaoke and drinking beer for nearly half an hour before the door opened again. A man entered, handsome and impossibly refined, who was unquestionably Deniz. Baris had already finished two glasses of beer, making his head feel light and slightly dizzy. Deniz apologized profusely to everyone, explaining he was late because of an unexpected traffic jam. For his tardiness, the class monitor jokingly made him drink a full glass of beer as a penalty.
Seeing that the only empty seat was directly next to Baris, their former friends unanimously pushed Deniz to sit there, instantly pouring him another beer. Deniz possessed such a high alcohol tolerance that he finished the full glass in a single, easy breath. Baris watched him with a mixture of worried concern and sheer admiration. Deniz then placed his empty glass on the table, turned his head, and smiled gently at Baris. The sight made Baris shyly whip his face around, pretending to study the karaoke screen.
After the drinks settled, everyone started chatting, catching up on their university lives. The ladies quickly began appraising Baris. "You are much more handsome now," one girl noted. "You have whiter skin and more muscle."
Another immediately pointed toward Deniz. "Deniz is much more beautiful, too. Oh my god! He is also so gallant, just like an actor."
Hearing the effusive praise directed at Deniz, Baris only managed to fake a smile. The old wound from the eighth grade rejection instantly reopened in his heart. He drank more and more, trying desperately to sink the pain into the depths of a pleasant illusion. The party was still buzzing with fun and noise when the alcohol finally overwhelmed him, and he simply fell asleep at the table.
At the end of the party, everyone tried to rouse him but could not. Deniz eventually volunteered to take him home. He casually lifted Baris, carrying him out to the car like a sleeping beauty, without a single complaint. In his completely drunken stupor, Baris instinctively hugged Deniz tightly, pressing his face into his strong back. The gentle, masculine fragrance mixed with the body odor of a man in early adulthood completely enthralled him, making him even more infatuated with the owner of those smells.
Deniz's house was large, a three story home, though not a luxurious villa. His parents, who often traveled together for months at a time, were currently away, so Deniz carried Baris into the quiet, dark house. He carefully put Baris down on his bed, then sat beside him and simply observed him for a long while. In the midst of his heavy drunkenness, Baris felt a soft, warm pressure, recognizing it as Deniz's kiss on his forehead. Unconsciously, Baris whispered the words that had been locked away for years, "Deniz, I love you..."
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