Chapter 13 - Deep
Mikhael's POV
I woke up with an empty space next to me on the bed. The moment it hit me, I immediately jolted up and looked around the room.
"Miguel?" Tawag ko rito. Pero makalipas ang ilang segundo na walang sumagot sa akin, ay agad akong bumaba ng kama at nagsuot ng damit.
I rushed out the door, "Miguel?!" I called again, hoping for an answer from him. But just as what I'm supposed to expect, nothing.
I went back inside the room and slowly closed the door behind me. I looked through the whole room. The bed was messy, my shirt was on the floor, a few packets of condoms were on the floor, and also some used ones.
I ran my fingers through my hair and walked towards the bedside table, searching for a note at least. That's how things go in movies, right? After a wild night, one wakes up first and leaves, but they place a note somewhere.
But Miguel didn't leave any trace. I almost searched the whole room. The bedside table, my study table, rack organizer next to the door, just in case he left it there. But nothing.
When I glanced at my phone, a hope arose in me, thinking he might have just messaged it.
Of course, it's 2026; everything can be sent digitally.
"Wala rin?" Napabuntong-hininga ako bago naupo sa kanto ng kama.
He really just left? Just like that? Hindi manlang ako ginising? Hindi ba siya napagod?
Baka naman hindi totoo yung mga nangyari kagabi at panaginip lang yun?
Suminghot-singhot ako at nagmukhang aso na may inaamoy sa kwarto para lang makumpirma kung totoo ba talaga yung mga nangyari kagabi.
His scent is here. That sampaguita pheromone still lingers inside the room, mixed with my pheromones. It really did happen.
Despite overthinking things, worrying that this might've destroyed whatever relationship we have, may it be platonic or romantic, I just decided to take a cold shower to wash off the dried sweat on my body. And even though a part of me doesn't want to wash off Miguel's scent on me, I wanted to freshen up, at least.
I'm having some pancakes and sausage while watching TV when my phone buzzed. I immediately picked it up, in hopes it was Miguel. But to my disappointment, it was Dad.
From: Anthony Zamora
We'll be hosting lunch here at the house. Your grandpa wants you here.
A scoff escaped my lips after reading my father's message.
I just know this is one of those lunch, dinner, or whatever gathering he hosts with his investors and business partners. And this is the only time he remembers he has a son, since he likes to show me off and tell those people I'll be like this and that when the truth is I've never said any of those things. That's what he wants, not mine.
To: Anthony Zamora
I'll be there. What time?
From: Anthony Zamora
Be here by 10:30.
My brows furrowed, and checked the time. It's already past 9, and I have less than an hour to get ready. The drive usually takes an hour and a half if the traffic is terrible.
I immediately turned off the TV, washed the dishes I used, and rushed upstairs to change clothes. I drove as fast as I could to arrive at the house, and as expected, the patio next to the pool was set up as if there was a huge agenda.
"Yaya, where's Dad?" I asked one of the maids who was busy setting up the table,
"Nasa loob po, Sir, may mga kausap na bisita." Sagot niya at agad akong tumango, "Thanks,"
I walked towards the main house. I just got inside the door, and I could already hear their laughter from the living room. I peeked first to see how many were there. When I finally recognized the faces, that's when I stepped closer.
"Mikhael's here." One of the visitors noticed me first.
I immediately greeted them with a smile, "Hello." I waved at all of them. Dad, who was facing his back at me, just spared me a glance, then looked back at them,
"As I was saying about the project-"
"How are you, Mikhael? It's been a while since we last saw you." One of the visitors cut Dad off.
I glanced at Dad, who was already glaring at me. I cleared my throat and looked at the visitor instead. "I'm doing amazing. School's okay, thesis is doing great, everything is doing okay." I replied with a wide smile printed on my lips.
"And your plan after graduation?" One asked.
I smiled again, "I'll take the licensure exam, then start working at the company. Maybe even focus on one of our businesses." I replied, and they all nodded.
"And your Master's? What's your plan?"
"I'll definitely juggle it with work. I'll take it as soon as possible, the same goes with my PhD." I replied, and they all nodded, amusement written on their faces.
Hindi ba sila nagsasawa? This has been literally my line for the past years! Starting my college life in UPLB, I've been telling them the exact same thing, and yet every damn time they see me, they ask me the same damn questions!
"Your son really takes after you, Anthony. You've raised him so well." One complimented Dad. In the corner of my eyes, I tried to look at Dad's reaction or expression at least.
He looked bored. Uninterested. He doesn't care, as usual.
Dad hummed and nodded once. "Of course, he's meant to be great. He's an Apex Alpha after all, and the only heir in the family. He needs to be deserving of everything." Dad replied.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and adjusted the collar of my half-zip long sleeves while the visitors just chuckled.
"I'll excuse myself. I'll be heading outside. If you need me, I'll just be at the patio." I bid everyone in the living room a goodbye before stepping back out of the house.
Big ass house and yet it's suffocating. Mas maganda pa sa apartment ko. Kahit maliit, mas magaan ang pakiramdam ko.
I sat down in front of the table, waiting for the other visitors Dad is expecting.
I was humming, scrolling through my Facebook feed, when someone called my name. "Mikhael!" I looked in the direction of the voice.
"Xian!" I raised my hand, waving at Xian, who was still walking towards me.
"Gab and Leon are on their way." Xian gave me a pat on my back before sitting beside me while his parents entered the house, probably gonna chitchat with Dad and the other visitors.
"Hindi manlang ako nakabati kina Tito." Hinabol ko ng tingin ang magulang niya.
Narinig kong humagikhik si Xian sa tabi ko, "So what?" He scoffed,
I looked back on my phone and shrugged, "Wala naman. Kapag nalaman ni Dad na hindi ako nakabati, lagot ako." Sagot ko rito at pinanliitan ako ng mata ni Xian.
"OA mo, Miks. Hindi 'yan! Hindi ka na napansin nila Mom and Dad. Yung focus nila nasa pakikipagkwentuhan na sa loob." Ani niya, nag-hum na lang ako bago sumandal sa bangko at nag-scroll sa Facebook.
Maya-maya lang ay dumating na si Gab at kasunod din nito agad si Leon. Ang mga magulang nila ay diretso rin sa loob ng bahay at naiwan kaming apat sa patio dahil naglalaro pala si Gab at Xian ng LOL sa biyahe palang at hindi pa matapos-tapos. Ang ingay-ingay tuloy namin sa labas.
Nang manalo sila ay nagtatalon kami at nagsigawan na para bang mga high school sa classroom. Nagtatatalon sina Gab at Leon nang makita ko sa gilid ng mata ko na lumabas na sina Dad mula sa mansion, kaya bigla akong napatigil at bumalik sa pagkakaupo.
Si Xian ang unang nakapansin sa akin. Natanaw na rin nito ang mga magulang namin, kaya kasunod ko na rin itong umupo. Hinigit nito si Leon sa T-shirt na mukhang manlalaban pa, pero nang senyasan namin gamit ang mga mata na parating na ang mga magulang namin ay naupo na rin ito. Si Gab ang hinigit ko paupo na hindi naman nanlaban.
The conversation revolved around business, as usual. Ramdam ko na pare-parehas kaming naririndi na nila Gab dahil sabay-sabay kaming halos umiling at bumuntong-hininga. Na-orasan ko ang tagal namin sa dining at inabot kami ng alas tres ng hapon doon. Main course palang iyon. Nang ilabas na ang mga cakes at other desserts, napakamot kami nila Gab sa ulo dahil ilang oras nanaman ang aabutin bago sila ma-satisfy sa desserts dahil puro sila usap tungkol sa business.
This lunch is more of a business meeting than lunch.
It was exactly 5:30 when they decided they were done eating. But I guess the business talk doesn't end there since they all went back inside the house, probably to discuss more about business.
"Hindi pa rin sila tapos?" Reklamo ni Leon nang maupo kami sa gilid ng pool.
Natatawang umiling si Xian bago naupo sa poolside lounger, "Hanggang gabi pa 'yan. Hindi ka na nasanay." Singhal nito bago nagpaka-busy sa cellphone niya.
"Speaking of gabi, what happened between you and Migs last night?" Gab interrogated.
My chill and bored feeling a while ago was replaced with sudden pressure and tension.
"Ha?" Nagpatay-malisya akong walang narinig.
Si Xian, na komportable ang pagkakahiga sa poolside lounger, ay biglang napabangon, "Oo nga! What happened between you two?!" He exclaimed, excitement written on his face.
Si Leon na nakasawsaw ang paa sa pool ay napaahon din at lumapit pa sa akin. Nakapalibot silang tatlo sa akin ngayon at pakurap-kurap na parang mga aso.
Natatawa akong bumuga ng hangin at umiling, "You know, casual sex, I guess." I let out a breath.
"You guess? Why? Were you expecting something else?" Xian raised a brow at me.
I stared at him for a few seconds before a smirk grew on my lips, and shaking my head. "Wala naman. I just didn't expect him to leave immediately. He left without even waking me up. I woke up with an empty bed beside me." I said, almost sounding like a complaint.
Gab laughed, literally laughed beside me. "Were you expecting him to stay? Cuddle? Prepare you breakfast?" He sarcastically said, which made me flick my tongue.
"Not like that. Well- stay, maybe, yeah. I was expecting him to stay, at least. So I can send him home or prepare him breakfast. Hindi yung iiwan niya nalang ako basta." Sagot ko bago napabuntong-hininga at pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko.
"Sandali nga," kinulbit ako ni Xian,
"What's with that?" He waved his hand on his face, "Sad and sullen expression? Don't tell me you're upset just because Migs left you after a casual hook-up?" He asked, hitting the bull's eye.
I let out another sigh before looking away. "Ganun na nga," I confessed, muttering under my breath.
I heard a gasp and a little chuckle coming from my friends.
"What? This is new! You're upset because your casual hook-up left you!" Gab exclaimed, bursting into laughter.
I covered my face with my hand as my friends started mocking me.
"Ganun talaga ngayon, Miks. It's just a casual hook-up anyway." Xian patted my shoulder.
I faced him, "But Miguel is different." I said, seriously.
Xian squinted his eyes before adjusting his glasses, "How different?" He asked, finally realizing how serious I was right now.
"He's an Omega-"
"You've hooked up with Omegas before. Countless pa nga, eh." Putol ni Gab.
I turned around to look at him. "That was before. Before I decided to put an end to this bloodline." I replied, and Gab puckered his lower lip before nodding.
"As long as you two use condoms, you have nothing to worry. Having sex doesn't always mean you'll conceive. Malay mo, gumagamit ng birth control si Migs." Xian tried to cheer me up.
"I can't just brush it off. Hindi lang naman ako natatakot na mabuntis si Miguel." Sagot ko at pinanliitan ako ng mata nilang tatlo.
"Ano pa?" Tanong ni Gab, naka-angat ang isang kilay.
Napatungo ako at muling pinaglaruan ang daliri ko.
I can't bring myself to speak it out loud. I'm not yet sure about my feelings. I'm not 100% sure it is what I actually want.
"Don't tell me... you like Migs?"
Napa-angat ako ng ulo sa tanong ni Leon. Maski si Xian at Gab ay napalingon dito.
"What!?" Xian looked back at me. "If that's the case..." he stared at me for a few seconds.
"Mikhael, if you're so sure about your feelings, you know liking Miguel is a bad move," Xian said, and I immediately nodded, rubbing my palm against my face.
"Yun na nga, eh-"
"So you do like him?! An Omega! You have feelings towards an Omega!" Gab exclaimed, pure disbelief written on his face.
"Anong gagawin ko? Hindi ko na alam. Gusto ko na yata siya, eh." Paghingi ko ng saklolo.
Nakatingin lang sa akin si Leon; si Gab ay malayo ang tingin, habang si Xian ay kumakamot sa ulo.
"You really like him? How much?" Xian asked,
I shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe... maybe a crush?" I said, unsure.
"Pwede pa 'yan. Pwede pa na mawala. Iwasan mo muna." Hagalpak ni Gab,
Nilingon ko ito at bumagsak ang balikat, "Can I do that? Avoid him?" I asked, already doubting my capabilities.
"That's for the best. Kaysa naman lumaki lalo yung nararamdaman mo sa kaniya at magkamabutihan kayo. Alam mo na kung saan hahantong 'yan kung sakali." Sagot ni Xian. Nilingon ko siya pabalik, tinitigan at sinubukan mag-isip ng ibang paraan.
Pero tama siya. Kung lalago pa ang nararamdaman ko kay Miguel, alam ko kung ano ang kahahantungan nito.
I should do the right thing.
I was first unsure about what Xian told me. I don't know if I can handle ignoring Miguel. Paano? Magkatabi sa klase? Iiwasan ko? Sa ibang bangko ako uupo? Bigla-bigla nalang akong hindi mamamansin? Magsusungit? That is so not me!
I can't convince myself to do what Xian advised me to do. I was skeptical and worried. But when 12 midnight came, and I was once again reminded, I've made up my mind.
"Okay ka lang, Miks? Parang balisa ka?" Tanong ni Gab habang kumakain kami ng tanghalian.
Itinaas ko ang magkabila kong kilay bago tumango, "Oo naman, okay lang ako." Sagot ko bago lumunok ng tubig.
"Nagkita na kayo ni Miguel?" Tanong ni Leon na agad siniko ni Gab, "Ipinaalala pa talaga, eh." Bulong ni Gab na ikinangisi ko nang bahagya.
"Hindi pa, after lunch pa. Mamaya." Sagot ko at nag-hum si Xian sa tabi ko.
"Kaya ka pala balisa. Iniisip mo na siguro kung paano mo siya iiwasan?" Tanong niya na ikinabagsak ng balikat ko pero nagpilit ako ng ngisi, "Baliw," ani ko sabay subo ng pagkain.
Totoo naman. It'll be the first time I'm seeing him again after our hook-up last Saturday. Hindi ko rin siya minessage o kinumusta manlang at ganun din siya.
Mapapansin ba niya kapag umiwas ako? O baka hindi? Minsan mukha naman walang pakialam si Miguel sa paligid. Sana hindi nalang niya mapansin na umiiwas ako.
Bago pumasok sa CAS building ay naisipan ko pa na huwag nalang pumasok para lang maiwasan siya. Pero naisip ko rin na hindi naman ako pe-pwede na hindi na pumasok dahil lang sa kaniya.
Nasa classroom na siya nang dumating ako. Busy ito sa cellphone niya at hindi manlang nag-angat ng tingin nang nilampasan ko siya at naupo sa likod ng classroom.
Pinagmamasdan ko siya mula sa likod. Tinitingnan ko kung mapapansin ba niya na wala siyang katabi. Noong una ay wala siyang pakialam, pero nang dumating na ang prof ay bigla nitong nilingon ang bakanteng bangko sa tabi niya.
Nagsimula itong maglibot ng tingin. Nang papaharap na siya sa gawi ko ay agad akong naglayo ng tingin. Nakita ko sa gilid ng mata ko na nakita na niya ako, pero nagpatay-malisya ako at nanatiling nakatingin sa unahan.
Pasulyap-sulyap ako kay Miguel buong klase. Tinitingnan ko kung lilingon ba siya o hindi. Ang tanging oras na magtatagpo ang mga mata namin ay kapag sinusundan niya ng tingin ang prof na naglalakad-lakad. Kapag nagagawi si Ma'am sa may likod malapit sa amin, saka lang kami magkakatinginan ni Miguel at agad naman akong nag-iiwas ng tingin.
Pagkatapos ng klase ay nauna akong umalis ng classroom kay Miguel, nadaanan ko pa siya na nag-aayos ng gamit at sinadyang bumagal ng lakad para makita kung lilingon ba siya pero busy ito sa gamit niya kaya dire-diretso na akong lumabas.
"Why do you look so upset?" Phil asked while we were at F-park, passing time before our HK subject.
I flicked my tongue and shook my head, "Wala naman," I denied. Even though the truth is that something is really bothering me. I can't just tell them; they know nothing yet. And I'm also not sure if I should share this matter with them.
It was the same situation during our HK class. I told them to sit at the other side of the room, opposite from our usual spot, which confused them as expected, since they too wanted to sit around Miguel. But I just ignored them and eventually sat somewhere else, and they followed me either way.
Miguel didn't spare me any glance during the whole class. Kahit noong nag-recite ako ay hindi manlang ito lumingon at nanatiling nakatingin sa unahan.
"Saan ka mamaya?" Tanong ni Karl habang nasa sasakyan na kami at ihahatid ko sila sa Raymundo Gate.
Nagkibit-balikat ako, "Hindi ko alam." Sagot ko, diretso ang tingin sa kalsada. Nang tumigil kami malapit sa gate ay bumaba na silang tatlo. Nauna sina Karl at Gen na tumawid habang si Phil ay nilingon pa niya ako bago niya saraduhan ang pinto ng passenger seat.
"If you need any help, we're just one call away, Miks." He said softly before closing the door.
I am supposed to feel touched by Phil's genuine actions, but thinking about the reason why I'm being like this makes me laugh at my own situation.
Mga desisyon at kalokohan ko nga naman sa buhay.
Around 9 PM, after drowning myself in school requirements and papers, I messaged Gab to meet me in front of Puesto by 10. I took a shower, slipped on black jeans and a black shirt, grabbed my phone, wallet, and keys, and left the house.
"Akala ko wala kang ganap ngayon." Nakangising sabi ni Leon bago sumimsim ng alak.
Napatawa ako nang pagak bago sumubo ng pulutan, "Pwede ba 'yon? May tinatapos lang ako kanina kaya hindi agad ako nakapag-aya." Sagot ko at nag-hum si Gab.
"Okay ka lang ba? Nakasalubong kita kanina sa CAS. Tinawag kita, pero hindi mo 'ko pinansin." Tanoong ni Xian at agad na napakunot ang noo ko.
"You saw me? I didn't notice you. I was occupied." I replied, and Xian arched a brow.
"You weren't. You were alone and just walking by. But you look so serious and have something in your mind." He replied, and I nodded. "Exactly, I was thinking about something," I replied, and Gab turned his head toward me. "Kamusta kayo ni Migs?" Tanong nito, at doon ay bumagsak ang balikat ko. Naka-react agad si Leon at Xian na mga bumungisngis.
"He's ignoring me," I let out a sigh before leaning on the chair.
Napatawa nang pagak si Leon, "Ayayay! Hindi ka raw masarap," pang-aasar nito na agad kong sinamaan ng tingin.
"Well, I was ignoring him too. You know, just like what you asked me to do." I replied, and Gab tilted his head.
"You're upset because he's ignoring you, but you ignored him first?" he asked, and I immediately nodded.
"Hindi ako umupo sa tabi niya sa dalawang class na magkaklase kami." Sagot ko, at nagparte ang labi ni Gab habang si Xian itong napatawa nang pagak sa tabi niya.
"You're expecting him to waste time on you when you ignored him in the first place?" Xian asked, and I nodded.
Napasaltik ako ng dila. "I mean, hindi ba niya napapansin na hindi ko siya pinapansin?" Tanong ko at humalakhak si Leon sa tabi ko.
"You think your feelings for him will disappear with that mindset?" Gab raised a brow at me.
My brows furrowed, looking around the table before nodding, "I just wanna see if he cares." I replied, and Gab shut his eyes before scratching his eyebrow, "You're helpless, Miks. You've fallen. Deep."
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a/n: so ayun, hindi ako nakapagpigil. hahahahah, ang tagal na kasing nakatengga yung story, i cannot! this is so not me! mention niyo nalang mga typo kasi hindi ko gaanong naayos ang pag pro-proofread hahahha
ayun, kulang pa units ko aaaaa, pasukan na sa aug 3, grabe ka na UP, ginaganito mo ako
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