Brave Hearts (Published Under LIB)
Wakas
Wakas
"BOBO ka ba?" my cousin started ranting when we got inside the car.
"Hindi, ikaw, bobo ka ba?" I fired back, may nang-aasar na ngiti.
She glared at me. I smirked at her. Pasigaw na siya para dambahin ako kaya mabilis kong binuksan ang pintuan ng sasakyan at lumabas.
Sa pagsara ko ng pintuan ng kotse ay nakarinig ako ng kalabog. I burst out laughing when her head smacked on the window's glass. Nasapo niya ng noo at napasigaw.
"Buti nga!" I laughed, sticking my tongue out.
"Boplaks ka! I hate you!" she screamed exaggeratedly inside while knocking on the glass window.
Nakikita ko ang pagtakip ng driver ng tainga sa loob ng kotse dahil sa eksaheradang pinsan ko at mas napatawa na ako.
"Ano 'yan, Cap? Bakit mo na naman inaaway si Puso?" May tumapik sa balikat ko. It was Josh. He smiled.
"Josh! Josh!" Biglang bumukas ang bintana ng sasakyan at sumungaw si Heart.
"Hello." Josh smiled at her.
"Pakisapok nga iyang pinsan ko at—"
"Ang ingay," reklamo ko at tinapik ang kaibigan. "May kukunin lang ako sa room, nakalimutan ko 'yong bola sa practice."
"Sapukin mo, Josh—" Heart groaned pero ngumiwi ako sa kanya at doon na kami nagtagisan ng tingin na dalawa.
"Sa try-out ba, Cap?" tawa ni Josh sa tabi ko. Tumango ako.
"Oo, sandali, punta na ako at baka isarado na," I told him. "Kausapin mo muna 'yang pusong bobo na 'yan nang matahimik."
Heart was still ranting when I left them. Nasa labas na ang sasakyan nang maalala ko ang bolang gagamitin namin bukas para sa practice ng try-outs sa varsity kaya pinatigil ko ang sasakyan para kunin at kakagalitan ako ni coach. It's my responsibility. I, like what they've been saying, is considered to be the team's captain ball.
Shy nga ako noong una pero pinagpilitan nila na magandang ako ang captain kahit practice pa lang namin.
Hindi naman sa pagmamayabang pero bukod sa gwapo ako, may talent talaga ako sa basketball. Perfect combination, ika nga ng mga may crush sa akin.
Again, 'di sa pagmamayabang pero medyo marami ako n'yan...
Nadaanan ko ang palamig sa may labas ng university, gusto ko sanang pandan pero melon na lang ang natira at 'di man mahilig sa melon ay pwede na. Bumili ako bago pumasok sa school grounds para magtungo sa klasrum nang may makita akong grupo ng estudyanteng tumatakbo sa may gilid.
"Ayon, oh! Lia! May pogi!" I heard one of the girls say kaya napahawak ako sa dibdib.
Ay, ako?
"Talaga? Saan?" the paper white lady then answered, natigil ako habang nakatingin sa kanya, nakatagilid sila sa akin kaya hindi ako napapansin.
I saw only half of her face pero pansin kong siya ang pinakamaputi sa kanilang lahat at may bangs pa.
"Oo, doon! Tara!" the other girl said kaya ngumuso na ako kasi hindi pala ako 'yong pogi.
Malabo yata mata nila.
Para akong tanga pero nakatayo lang ako habang pinapanuod sila sa halip na pumasok para kunin ang bola, umiinom pa ng melon na parang nanunuod ng sine.
The girls with her ran, tumigil sila sa may sulok malapit sa kanal kaya nagtaka ako dahil pader naman iyon at walang pogi.
Hello? Mali kayo ng lingon? Nandito ang pogi!
To my shock, tinulak siya noong isang babae sa may kanal. Parang slow motion ang paghulog niya at umangat pa ang bangs kaya nabuga ko ang palamig na iniinom at natawa.
The girls laughed when she fell. "Buti nga sa 'yo! Feeling mo kasi kaya mo nang makipag-friends sa amin porket ka-seatmate ka?!"
The girls laughed and ran, ang kaninang ngisi ko sa itsura noong maputi ay nawala nang makitang marahang inaangat niya ang sarili sa kanal, nakatungo at paiyak na.
I suddenly felt bad for laughing. That was so rude!
Fuck you, Atlas! Gaspang ng ugali mo, tarantado!
Sinapok ko ang ulo ko, nagulat pa ako nang nawe-weirduhang napatingin sa akin ang mga grade eight kaya para itago ang kahihiyan ay ngumiti ako, 'yong ngiting pang-gwapo.
They paused. Their eyes softened and they began giggling.
"Hi, Atlas!" They waved at me.
"Hi, excuse, ah?" I smiled back, dinurog pa ang plastic cup na walang laman para i-flex ang muscles ko.
"Ay..." hagikhik nila roon at ngumiti lang ako, kumindat pa bago tumakbo sa basurahan para itapon ang plastic cup.
The girl was having a hard time lifting herself up, hindi naman kalaliman ang kanal at kitang-kita ko pa rin ang kalahati ng katawan niya pero siguro sa panghihina ay 'di na makaayos. She was crying a bit now and the humor inside me vanished, all of it. I found myself walking towards her direction.
"Here," I said and immediately showed her my palm.
She was definitely crying now. Her cheeks flushed at dahil maputi ay kitang-kita ko ang pamumula ng kanyang ilong, taas-baba pa ang balikat.
She glanced at me and her black eyes made me feel worried more about her. I suddenly had the guts to scold those kids who pushed her here.
Those innocent and soft black eyes looked so fragile that I think she'd break with one wrong move.
She hesitated kaya ngumiti ako. "Here, come on. I'll pull you up."
"H-hindi mo ako ihuhulog kapag h-hinawakan kita para makaakyat?" Her shaking voice stopped me, sumikip ang pakiramdam ko.
I gave her a reassuring nod. "Of course not, why would I push you back?"
Napalunok siya, nagbaba ng tingin at tumango. She lifted her hand and I immediately took her palm and pulled her up to me.
I immediately smelled the foul odor from that thing where she fell and I heard her sniff.
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa paa niyang maitim dahil sa pagkakahulog at nag-alala ako.
"Are you—"
May sinabi siya na hindi ko kaagad nakuha at nagulat na lang ako nang biglaan na siyang tumakbo paalis sa harapan ko at pumasok sa university.
That was the first time I saw her...or not. I don't know, baka 'di kami nagkakatagpo lang or nagkakasalubong na pero hindi lang maalala ang isa't-isa.
May mga ganoong pagkakataon talaga, may mga taong makakasalamuha mo ng ilang beses pero hindi mo maaalala na nakita o nakasama mo na unless may isang pangyayaring magpapatatak sa 'yo ng ala-ala ng isang tao and that's mine.
Some stranger remains a stranger and some? They become more than just a stranger.
That was my memory of her.
Ang babaeng nahulog sa kanal.
I realized they've been going to our plantation for a couple of times now. I was really not that interested with it, si Kuya Hunter lang ang madalas doon pagkagaling sa rancho at ako nama'y madalas lang na kasama ang barkada na kung hindi maliligo sa falls ay magpa-practice ng basketball.
That was when I decided na medyo magpapansin. Kanina ay pasimple lang akong tumutulong at hindi siya nakakausap pa pero ngayon ay nag-decide na akong tumulong muli at magsalita kahit papaano.
I saw her carrying something heavy towards the truck, sigurado akong ang mga na-harvest iyon galing sa aming plantation. She glanced at me a bit while walking pero kaagad na nag-iwas nang makita akong nakatingin, she was just wearing a simple black shirt and pants yet she looked so angelic and beautiful.
I couldn't bear to see her carrying those heavy things anymore kaya naglakad ako palapit sa kanya. Mabilis kong sinalo ang hawak niya at nakita ko kung paano siya matigilan at matulala sa pagkabigla.
"A-ako na—"
"Let me, Miss." I smiled at her, lifting it with my one hand, and took the heavy bag towards the truck waiting for her.
"Oh, salamat, hijo!" sumaludo pa sa akin ang matandang naroon kaya ngumiti ako at tumango.
"Walang anuman po." I slowly glanced behind me.
To my shock, the beautiful woman was still following me, nakatitig siya sa akin pero nang mapansing nakatingin ako'y namula siya at mabilis na tumungo.
I smiled inwardly, nakakahiyang natutuwa ako sa kilos niya kaya binasa ko na lang ang labi para magseryoso.
"May dadalhin ka pa, Miss?" I asked.
She lifted her gaze at me and her eyes made my heart thump. I loved how she looked so soft and untouchable.
Umiling siya, medyo namungay ang magandang mata.
"Thank you," she whispered, her cheeks still flushing.
Porselana ang kanyang kutis na medyo naging tan sa ilang araw na pagtulong sa Nanay niya yata rito sa plantation ngayong break. Medyo nag-aalangan akong napapaso ang kanyang kutis sa init.
"Silong ka muna, Miss, at mainit,"
"Um..." nahihiyang tumango siya, marahang hinahawi ang kanyang buhok. I liked her bangs, it's adorable. "Ikaw?"
"Hindi na." I smiled. "Mangangabayo pa ako, e. Dito sa rancho."
She nodded. Her small eyes smiled when she did kaya parang may humalukay sa sikmura ko. I'd been watching her silently these past few months kaya alam na alam ko ang ganyang ngiti niya.
The smile she had where her eyes were almost disappearing was a sign that she was happy but I didn't wanna scare her off if I talked more and she'd find me creepy, kaya tumango na ako.
"Sige, bye," I said and brushed my hair.
She nodded. Tumalikod ako at nag-jog paalis pero gusto ko siyang tingnan pabalik kaya lumingon ako. I saw her staring in the ground, unmoving, humawak pa siya sa dalawang pisngi kaya napangiti ako.
How adorable.
Amalia Lorraine Argueles. Small eyes, long black hair with adorable bangs, Patrician nose, and those red cupid bow's lips. She was really an eye candy.
I didn't get why there were people who didn't like her. From just observing her, I knew how soft and kind-hearted she is. Nahuhuli ko nga siya minsan na bumabati sa guard pagpasok at pag-uwi, nakita ko nga rin siya minsang nagmano sa isang tricycle driver kaya I didn't get why no one wanted to befriend her.
I saw a man went to her direction, mukhang ka-grade niya. The boy sat beside her in the bleachers habang nagpapahinga kami sa game.The boy called her attention kaya kumunot ang noo ko. He told her something and Lia stopped, umiling siya at may sinabi at nakita kong umalis na 'yong totoy.
I smirked when the boy went away.
Binabawi ko na pala, okay lang din na wala masyadong umaaligid sa kanya. If I saw her around with boys ay baka bigla akong magpapansin na lang at tuluyan na talaga siyang ma-creepy-han sa akin.
She glanced back to the court and our eyes met. Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa kanyang mata nang makita ako...o ako ba? Naga-assume lang ba ako?
"Ganda, Atlas?" I heard a voice ask beside me.
"Sobra..." I muttered.
"Ah, kaya pala nagpabibo ka sa game kanina at natalisod, ano?" I froze. Nawala ang tingin ko kay Lia at nagulat nang makita si Coach na ginagaya ang paghalumbaba ko.
"G-grabe, Coach! Hindi, ah!" I exclaimed.
He smirked. "Weh? Kada practice natin at nand'yan si ganda nahuhuli kitang pabida, eh."
Kumunot ang noo ko, halos napatayo na. "Coach, 'di nga!" I defended.
"Oh?" He mused. "Anong pangalan niyan? Junior yata 'yan, ah?"
"Aba, ewan ko," I said, nag-iwas ng tingin at nanuod ng game na lang.
Naririnig ko ang halakhak niya, kumunot lang ang noo ko at pinagmamasdan ang galaw ng team. Nagkamali pa si Ted ng hagis at sa halip na kay Josh ay sa kalaban niya naibigay.
"Ay, inunahan ka sa crush mo, may manliligaw yata."
"Saan?!" Singhap ko sabay baling sa bleachers. Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita si Lia na wala namang kausap at napatakip lang ng bibig nang may nakita sa naglalaro.
"Huli ka! Crush pala, ah..." Nilingon ko si coach na ngumisi. "Hoy, team, may crush 'tong pabibo n'yong captain," biglang tsismis niya sa katabi.
"Coach!" I hissed, glaring at him pero tumakbo na siya papunta sa court at napasimangot na lang ako nang makitang kausap na niya ang pinsan kong bobo.
Heart glanced at me with an evil grin and I knew this would be fucking messed up now that they knew about Lia.
Hindi na nga ako nagulat. Starting that day, Heart began bugging me about Lia.
"Ikaw, huh? Anong ginagawa mo rito sa library?" Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang lumitaw si Heart sa tabi ko, sinundan ko kasi si Lia dahil nakita ko kaninang nasa clinic lang siya matapos isugod.
I got worried so I waited until she went out at dito siya dumiretso kaya i-che-check ko lang.
"Hoy, boplaks!" Halos pumitik na ang pinsan sa mukha ko.
"Oh?" I glanced at her, annoyed that I couldn't focus on my Amalia.
"Sabi ko...anong ginagawa mo rito? Tinatawag kita kanina 'di mo 'ko pinapansin, kailan ka pa naging studious, ah?" she raised her brow.
"Nagbabasa ako," tipid kong sabi.
"Oh? Kwento mo sa turtle, 'yong libro mo baligtad," she said flatly.
Mabilis akong napasulyap sa librong hawak at nagulat nang baligtad nga pero tumikhim ako.
"Special talent 'yan, bobo," I told her kaya ngumiwi siya, hinawi ang buhok at kinuha sa akin ang librong hawak.
"Tss, anong connect ng Kwentong Pambata sa atin—" She then stopped when she saw what I was looking at. "Ah-huh! 'Yong crush mo—"
I panicked, mabilis kong tinakpan ang bibig niya kaya natahimik siya sa tabi ko.
"Quiet!" I hissed quietly. I could hear her voice as she was speaking, hindi ko nga lang maintindihan dahil nakatakip ang kamay ko sa bibig niya.
She slapped my arm.
"Shh!" I hissed, mabilis na nilingon si Lia na nakapikit habang nakasubsob sa kabilang mesa, katabi pa ang librong kanina ay binabasa, kumunot ang noo niya na mukhang naistorbo pero nanatili pa ring nakapikit.
"Hmm! Hmp!" Isang kurot ni Heart ay napangiwi na ako at tinanggal ang kamay ko sa bibig niya. "'Nak ng pucha...hindi ako makahingang boplaks ka!"
I glared at her, ipinunas ko ang kamay sa pantalon at ngumiwi.
"Ano ba 'yan, kadiri naman 'to, may laway pa!" I hissed at her quietly. She frowned at me.
"Gagi, mabango hininga ko, mint 'to!" Huminga pa siya sa harapan ko kaya ngumiwi ako at hinawi ang mukha niya.
"Kadiri ka, lumayo ka nga sa 'kin," I hissed when she smirked at me. Umirap ako, bumaling akong muli kay Lia na tahimik na nakatagilid ang ulo sa lamesa at nagpapahinga.
I smiled while looking at her. She was like an angel, innocent and soft in any angle. I loved how she smiles at simple things, sa tagal kong tahimik na pagmamasid sa kanya ay napansin ko ang pagkahilig niya sa library. She was fond of reading and studying, kapag may oras naman siya ay madalas ko siyang nakikitang tahimik na nanunuod ng game or practice game ng basketball.
She was often alone and she barely had people around her, naalala ko noong tinulak siya sa kanal and I think that was one of the reasons why she was somehow aloof of people. Kapag mag-isa rin siya ay mahilig siyang magtungo sa chapel. She'll spend five to fifteen minutes inside just to pray.
What a beautiful lady, inside and out.
"Alam mo, ang tagal mo nang tinitingnan lang si Lia. Why don't you make a move, huh?" Kinalabit ako ni Heart.
"Ako?" Natawa pa ako. "I don't think she'll notice me, Heart. 'Tsaka mahiyain siya, baka matakot sa akin."
"Sa bagay..." I glared at her when she looked at me as if judging me. "Sa mukhang 'yan, ako rin magdududa."
Umawang ang labi ko.
"You..." Halos kaltukan ko na siya kung hindi lang may dumaan na teacher at pinagmasdan kaming dalawa habang naglalakad sa gitna.
"Tss..mga bata nga naman, hindi daldalan ang ginagawa sa library," aniya. "Magpinsan nga kayo." She shook her head.
"Sorry po," halos magkapanabay na sabi namin ni Heart. Umiling lang huli at nilagpasan kami.
Noong mawala siya, sabay kaming nag-make-face ni Heart bago natawa at napailing.
"So, seryoso nga, Atlas. You should at least try and talk to her, malay mo naman at kausapin ka rin."
"Nahihiya nga ako," I told her. "'Tsaka baka sabihin niya ay trip ko lang siya."
"E, bakit? Trip mo lang ba talaga?" seryoso niyang sabi sa akin. "Alam kong maloko ka, Atlas, but I won't like it if you did something to her. She's a gentle soul, hindi ko man ka-close si Lia ay mabait 'yan kaya humanda ka sa 'kin kapag..."
"She's different, Heart," I told her seriously. "I like her."
"Uh-huh?" She shot her brow up. "E, bakit ayaw mo lapitan?"
"Kasi nga nahihiya ako," I whispered.
"Tss, sa bagay...I want to be her friend, you know? Anya and the girls are quite...you know, I know they talk about me when I'm gone. 'Tsaka baka sumipag ako at tumalino." She shrugged and glanced at Lia sleeping peacefully in the other table. "Ang talino niyan, Atlas, alam mo ba? Madalas nauuna magpasa ng activity tapos highest. Tignan mo at may libro sa gilid, ganyan dapat nga ang mga type mo para 'di ka na bobo."
"Ikaw din," I pointed out. "You should date studious people, mga boyfriend mo yata mga fuckboy. Tinatanong na ako ni tita kung may boyfriend ka raw ba ngayon."
"Anong sabi mo?" she asked.
"Sabi ko, ewan ko," I told her. "Bait kong pinsan 'no?"
"Aww, oo nga..." Plastic siyang ngumiti sa akin. "Sige na nga, tulungan kita kay Lia. I want to be her friend, anyway." She smiled at me.
"Thanks!" I laughed. "Libre ka raw mamaya ni Josh ng palamig sa labas!" Nag-apir pa kaming dalawa.
Nakikipag-text si Heart at tulog pa rin si Lia kaya umub-ob ako sa lamesa at pinagmasdan siya. She was looking my way while sleeping and I was looking at her, parehas kami ng pwesto sa lamesa at magkaharapan kaya medyo kinikilig ako.
Meant-to-be yata talaga kaming dalawa.
I lifted my hand, fitting her beautiful face with my fingers. I smiled.
Ang ganda-ganda ni Amalia.
She suddenly opened her eyes, parang may sumabog na bomba sa utak ko nang magsalubong ang mata naming dalawa at nahuli niya akong nakatingin. Her eyes widened, napamura ako sa isip at nag-panic.
Mabilis kong ipinaling ang ulo ko sa may pwesto ni Heart para 'di na nakaharap sa kanya pero sa sobrang panic ko ay malakas na humampas at lumagapak pa ang mukha ko sa lamesa sa biglaang pagpaling ng ulo.
Sa tahimik na library ay umalingawngaw ang pagbaldog ng mukha ko sa lamesa.
"What the..." Heart muttered.
"Fuck," I cursed under my breath, blushing so hard in embarrassment.
"Mr. Montezides, are you okay?" Halos masapo ko ang mukha nang marinig ang boses ng librarian habang papalapit, ang puso ko'y lalabas na yata sa dibdib habang naririnig ang heels niya.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Heart, pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata, mabilis akong pumikit pa para magpanggap na tulog.
Fuck, fuck! Sana lamunin na ako ng lupa!
"Ms. Heart, ayos lang ba si Atlas?" narinig kong tanong nito sa pinsan ko.
"P-po? Ah, opo, ano tulog kasi, binangungot yata kaya nagulat," paliwanag ni Heart kaya hiyang-hiya na ako, hindi sa mga tao kung hindi kay Lia na wala akong ideya kung anong reaksyon.
Parang mamatay na si Heart kakatawa nang makalabas kami sa library. I pretended to be asleep for thirty fucking minutes para mapanindigan ang bangungot kuno ko at magdidilim na nang makalabas kami.
Amalia wasn't there anymore when we left the library, tinawag kasi siya ng nurse kaya 'di na namin naabutan at dahil tulog kuno ako ay hindi ko na nagawa. I was so frustrated and embarrassed.
However, I'm sure my cousin won't forget this. She'd torment me in every waking moment!
"Alam mo bang I saw her face and she looked worried," ani Heart sa akin kaya mabilis ko siyang nilingon.
"W-weh?" My eyes widened.
"Oo, pero medyo natawa siya..." My shoulders fell. Humagalpak na naman ang pinsan ko. "Pero oo nga, pagkatapos no'n mukha siyang nag-aalala, gusto pa nga yatang lumapit at tingin nang tingin kaya nginitian ko. Ngumiti siya sa akin pabalik!" bida niya kaya ngumiwi ako.
"Sana everybody." I frowned at her at tumawa siya at tinapik ang balikat ko.
"Ikaw kasi, 'wag kang magpa-panic," she snorted. "Pinsan kita pero gusto kong sabihing nakakahiya ka."
I rolled my eyes. "Kasalanan ko bang natataranta ako? Si Lia 'yon, Heart!"
"Sus, tinignan ka lang, e!" tawa niya. "Alam mo nga dapat may theme song ka kay Lia."
Natigil ako. "Ano?"
"Sa isang sulyap mo, bumalentong ako, para bang himala ang lahat ng ito!" she suddenly sang, humawak pa sa dibdib na parang makata kaya tinambangan ko siya.
She burst out laughing, sinipa niya ang paa ko at nailing.
"Pero seryoso, may kanta ako sa inyo," ani Heart na ngumisi.
"Seryosohin mo 'yan, ah? Kapag ikaw..."
"Oo, ito. May kanta ang title niya Buko, ibig sabihin Buhay Ko," aniya. Mukha namang seryoso na siya kaya tumango ako, nangingiti.
"Oh? Tapos?"
"Sa inyo, Boko," aniya kaya kumunot ang noo ko. "Bobo Ko."
"Puso!" I hissed loudly pero tumakbo na ang pinsan ko.
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
MEETING Amalia was my one-of-a-kind experience. We were once strangers, hindi alam kung sino ang isa't-isa, hindi alam kung anong magiging parte sa buhay ng bawat isa.
We were once strangers but because of silly instances, our paths decided to cross each other's.
I saw her in her worst state and she saw mine. I'd never forget how she fell in that dirty hole while she saw in my worst times...well, countless times already kaya hiyang-hiya na ako sa sarili at dignidad kong ako mismo ang tumapak sa kahihiyan.
"Hoy, gago, dito sa may library sa floor natin pupunta ang mga grade ten!" halos mapabalikwas ako sa pagkakasalampak sa upuan nang marinig ang usapan ng mga kaklase kong naiwan din sa classroom dahil cleaners kami.
Ako ang leader kaya chill lang ako pero nang marinig ko 'yon ay nabuhay ang katawang lupa ko.
"Anong section?" I asked, tumayo na at nag-umpisang ayusin ang unipormeng bukas na ang butones.
"First daw," ani ng isa sa kasama ko.
Natigil si Josh sa pagwawalis sa may pintuan, si Ted din ay napatingin sa amin pero bumalik muli sa pagbubura ng sulat ng board.
"Nand'yan yata si Heart!" Nangunot ang noo ko nang magkumahog ang mga lalaki naming kasama. "Kaibigan niya yata 'yong isang maganda pa?"
"Sino?"
"'Yong maputi!" Halos mag-init na ang ulo ko nang mag-unahan sila kakasilip sa bintana.
"Shit, ayan na, paakyat na 'yong iba, pare! Gago, magkasama 'yong dalawa. Atlas! Single naman pinsan mo, 'di ba?" tanong pa sa akin pero kumunot lang ang noo ko.
"Si Heart, oh!" I was about to warn them about Lia being mine when Josh suddenly raised the broom. Tumaas ang sulok ng labi ko nang bigla niyang pinalo ng walis ang pwet no'ng mga gago.
"Anong Heart, akin 'yan," my friend said seriously kaya natawa na ako.
"Oh?" Natigilan ang dalawang lalaking kakadungaw.
I smirked, kinuha ko ang bunot at binuksan ang floor wax.
"Akin si Amalia," I said arrogantly and smirked at their shocked faces. "Sa labas ako magpo-floor wax!" presenta ko at lumabas.
Ted and Josh glance at me weirdly kaya ngumuso ako at ginalaw na ang bunot sa paa ko.
"Cleaner of the month," nilahad ko ang braso ko.
"Luh, kanina naman nakahilata lang," bara sa akin ni Ted kaya ngumisi lang ako bago mabilis na lumabas sa room para mag-floorwax sa hallway.
My smile widened when I saw the other students from grade ten walking in my direction. Nagke-kwentuhan si Lia at si Heart, magkakapit pa ang braso.
I spread the wax on the floor, nakita kong napapabalik ang tingin sa akin ng mga naunang grade ten kaya ngumingisi lang ako at ngingiti na sila at kinikilig na lalagpasan ako.
Bibong-bibo at ganado akong nagpo-floor wax sa labas ng room, nagpapadulas pa sa bunot. I saw Heart and Lia walking in front of me kaya tumikhim ako, naglagay pa ng wax at nakangising nagbunot.
"A-Atlas!" She was shocked.
"Hi, bibi." I smiled at her handsomely.
"Ito na naman po tayo...hindi ako naniniwalang masipag ka." Heart frowned at me kaya nagkibit-balikat lang ako. "Plastik na 'to!"
"Masipag ako, ah? 'Di ba, bibi?" I glanced at Lia and saw her sparkling eyes. She blushed a bit and slowly nodded kaya mas ginanahan ako sa pagbubunot.
That's my bibi! Always supporting me! Kaya love na love ko 'yan, e!
"See? Masipag ako?" I smirked at my cousin arrogantly pero nawala ang ngisi ko nang sa paggalaw ko ng bunot ay namali ako ng tapak. My foot slipped, tuloy-tuloy ang paa ko at napadaing na lang ng tumama ang pang-upo sa lapag.
Natumba ang buong katawan ko at nakita kong maraming natigilan–at nakakita!
"A-Atlas!" I heard Lia scream at para hindi nakakahiya ay nagpanggap akong nahimatay.
Fuck.
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
I always loved how Lia and I were comfortable with each other. I didn't know how but I think it was because we saw each other's dark and embarrassing secrets. Nahihiya man ay hindi ako nawawalan ng pag-asa kapag nakikita ako ni Lia na tuma-tumbling sa gilid dahil alam kong sa huli ay tanggap niya pa rin ako.
If fate would ask me if I'd like to fall from the stairs again, experience the call of nature again or sa mas bulgar na salita ay pagtatae, or even sprain my leg again so we could meet in the next life, then I'd willingly say yes.
Kahit ano basta si Amalia ang kapalit. Kahit ano basta ang ngiti niya ang palagi kong makikita.
I thought fate let us cross paths because we were too compatible, pero mababaw lang pala ako mag-isip. I was not prepared for how playful and twisted fate was. How it played out in the end. Our connection.
I remembered how hysterical my mother was when she found out my father was seeing his ex again. My mother kept on crying all day at doon ko lang nalamang sinama siya ni Yui matapos sabihing nakita niya ang dad na kasama si Tita Olivia.
How fucked-up was that, right? How fucked up was it that my father's first love was actually my Lia's mother?
Bakit ganito? Bakit ganitong mapaglaro ang tadhana? Did I deserve this kind of fate? Did we deserve this? Wala naman akong ginawang mali. I only loved yet fate did its best to mess it all up to tear us apart.
I could still remember Heart's face when she came to me in the hospital when we rushed our mother. She was crying so much, telling me Lia hated her, that she hated us all. Sinabi niyang nalaman daw ni Lia na kinaibigan niya ito para tulungan ako.
I reassured her I'd talk to Lia the next day to settle everything, I told her I'd explain to Lia why Heart befriended her but the next day...she was gone.
The next day, they left Peñablanca. She left us alone, she left me alone. She left without any explanations, without hearing our sides but when she left, she took something with her...my heart.
I was disappointed after finding out it was my childhood friend, Yui, who did and planned this all after I told her I liked Amalia. She told her lies and she drifted away. She told my mother false information and it caused us her health. I was so disappointed because I treated her as a friend, like my own sibling yet in the end, the woman I trusted betrayed me too.
I didn't even know about Tita Olivia's involvement with my father until my father got hospitalized. My mother was screaming so much in frustration and grief, knowing he was meeting Olivia Argueles again.
I was shocked, alright, lalo na noong personal ko nang makita ang nanay ni Lia. She was really beautiful and I know that innocence on her face was what Lia got from her. Mabait na tao naman si Tita Olivia so I didn't get why she had to do that. I didn't get why she had to meet my married father in the first place.
"Don't tell me you'll avoid Lia after knowing all these?" ani Heart matapos malaman ang dahilan bakit kami nagpa-Maynila. I didn't tell her about Tita Liv's involvement but I guess she heard it from her mom.
I sighed, lowering my head. Humawak ako sa buhok ko, halos sabunutan na ang sarili sa frustration sa gulo ng buhay ko. I was just living the best the life could offer with Lia beside me but...I don't know now.
"Bobo, pinsan kita but let me remind you that Lia is my best friend. I know there is something going on with Tita Liv and Tito Louis. Dadamayan kita bilang pinsan pero tandaan mong hindi ako uupo lang din kapag sasaktan mo si Amalia," she said coldly. I sighed, nodding.
"I know..." I breathed. "Lia has nothing to do with this, I just...I just didn't know this would happen. Hindi ko na alam ang iisipin, si mommy, si Lia, si dad. I-I don't know."
Natulala na lang ako kung hindi lang ako tapikin ng pinsan.
"Tara nga rito, yakapin kita," ani Heart at doon na nangilid ang luha ko. I hugged her and she squeezed me, tapping my back.
"I got your back, bobo." She sighed. "But...you have to make up with Lia, she was sad when you didn't come to her birthday."
I get it now, I get why people eyed us whenever Lia and I were together. I found out why my batchmates were asking me about Lia, sina Catherine kapag magkasama kaming dalawa.
I had no idea until I found out about Tita Liv being my father's first love. Naging matunog pala dati ang relasyon nila noong bata pa sila at sa CSU sila nag-aral kaya kilala sila sa university, lalo na nang iilang mga prof, nagkahiwalay lang dahil sa pamilya ng mga Montezides. My grandparents didn't like Tita Liv for my father and they broke up. The rumors stopped between the two when my father married my mother.
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
"HI, Mom." I smiled when I saw my mother having her quiet tea time near the garden, nakatitig sa kanyang mga bulaklak na inasikaso ni Kuya Dame noong nawalan siyang ng oras dahil sa stress niya.
"Hijo." She put on a soft smile when she saw me.
"Can I drink tea with you?" I asked. She nodded and tapped the seat beside her. Lumapit ako at nang makatabi ay marahang niyakap ko ang baywang niya kaya natigilan siya at natawa.
"Ang lambing ng bunso ko, ah? Manang-mana sa mga kuya?" she hummed sweetly, touching my hair.
"I love you, Ma," I told her genuinely.
"I love you too, anak. You're extra sweet today, hmm? Kayo ng mga kuya mo?" she asked kaya sinandal ko ulo ko sa kanyang balikat.
"Why not?" I told her. "You deserve the best, Mom. Dad may not know it but always remember that whatever happens, nandito lang kami nila kuya para sa 'yo."
"Ang swerte ko naman sa mga anak ko." She smiled, lumayo ako sa kanya at ngumiti, sinapo naman niya ang pisngi ko at pinakatitigan ako. Namumungay ang mata niya't alam kong naluluha na siya.
"Ang gwapo, oh. Balita ko ay wala ka raw girlfriend?" She asked. I froze, napanguso ako at umiling sa kanya.
"I'm busy with my career, Mom. I'm still thinking about what hospital I should take for my internship," I explained but my mother had that teasing, small smile on her lips.
"Talaga ba? Or...dahil may inaantay ka?"
I was stunned, natulala ako sa kanya pero ngumisi siya sa akin at pinisil ang aking pisngi.
"I know about you following Amalia Argueles, Atlas." She smiled at me mischievously. "I overheard you and Heart talking about a certain pharmacy where she is working."
"M-mom..." I gulped a bit. "I-I just want to check."
But she shook her head, the smile still not fading.
"The kid has nothing to do with your father and her mother, anak." I didn't know what to say. "Si Louis ang nangako sa akin sa altar ng panghabang-buhay na pagmamahal, siya ang ang pumako sa kanyang mga pangako sa akin."
"Ma..."
She smiled sadly. "I know Olivia shared her own faults too and she did something wrong, but it wasn't her who promised to be loyal to me. Si Louis iyon. It was him who broke his promises to me, not Olivia nor Amalia."
While looking at my mother's eyes, I couldn't see the fragile and broken woman we had in the past anymore. The woman who was rushed to another country to unwind because of her severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts. She wasn't the same depressed woman anymore but right now, I could see the stronger Beatrice Montezides.
I could see in her eyes the strong woman she really was, the brave woman who did her best to stand even if her marriage was a failure for her kids, us.
"You're so brave, Ma," I said admiringly while staring at her. "Mahal na mahal ka namin nila kuya. I promise you we'll protect you with our lives."
"I am only brave because I know my kids have my back," she said gently. "Kayo ang lakas ko, Atlas, kayo ng mga kuya mo, and who am I to stop your heart from loving that kid, Lia?"
"M-mom..." My voice shook, surprised and in awe.
"Oh, don't cry on me, my baby damulag." She giggled. "Isa pa, would you stop if I told you not to like or follow Lia anymore?"
"Um, that's..." I gulped a bit. "That's hard."
"See?" She chuckled. "I knew it, ganyan din ang mga kuya mo noon na kahit anong pigil ay gagawin ang gusto nila. Ayoko namang magrebelde ka kaya...goodluck, hijo. I found out what happened to her too and it was so sad. When the right time comes, I hope you take care of her too like how you took care of me when I was so fragile."
"Thank you, Mom," I said happily, hugging her and she chuckled while tapping my back.
"Kung si Amalia ang lakas mo ay hahayaan kita dahil anak kita, isa pa ay kayong mga anak ko ang lakas ko ngayon. Kung magiging mahina ka, paano naman ang mommy mo na kumukuha ng lakas sa 'yo?" biro pa niya. "And Olivia gave us a letter and she acknowledged what she did wrong too."
"Mom..."
"And I...I forgive them. I forgive her and your father but you know, anak. You can always forgive but not all things can be forgotten, some stay in our hearts no matter what, making us tougher every day."
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
Dear Atlas,
How do I even start this? I actually don't have the right words to say since nothing is ever enough to apologize for what I did to your family. I am wrong. We are wrong. Having a connection with your father while he's married is so wrong in every way. I didn't know he was married at first, but I stopped communicating with him ever since. Your mother and he got married in another country that I had no idea about. Noong nalaman ko, hijo, ay lumayo na ako kaagad. He offered to simply just talk to me for closure we never had in the past and I allowed him which is never right.
I should've known better.
I am wrong, Atlas. I am so wrong. I am not telling you this for pity or to justify what I did, but to only explain my side. Pero alam ko na kahit anong sabihin ko may mali pa rin ako ng nagawa. We may not have an affair but I know emotional connection is cheating too and I never intended to let it happen.
Nagkamali ako, hijo, and I am very sorry for what I did wrong. Hindi lang sa 'yo kung hindi sa buong pamilya mo. My connection with Louis ruined your family, it scarred you, your brothers, and your mother. I sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize for what happened. I admit to everything I did wrong.
Ang kapal siguro ng mukha ko, Atlas, pero may pakiusap sana ako. Si Amalia, hijo, alam kong totoong gusto mo ang anak ko. Alam ko at ramdam ko sa puso ko bilang isang magulang na gusto mo talaga ang Lia ko. Gusto ko lamang sabihin sa 'yo, hijo, na mabuti kang bata at hanga ako sa katatagan mo. Hanga ako sa iyo at sa mga kaibigan mo sa pagpapakita ng pagmamahal para sa aking anak. Salamat sa pagpapasaya sa anak ko noong nand'yan kami sa Peñablanca, salamat dahil naging mabuti kayong kaibigan sa kanya. Sana, hijo, kahit wala na kami d'yan at muli n'yong makita si Amalia sa hinaharap, sana ay hindi kayo magalit sa kanya dahil wala siyang alam sa lahat ng ito at mahal niya kayo bilang mga kaibigan niya. Kayo lang ang naging tunay niyang kaibigan.
I solely claim my faults and wrongs. Ang pagkakamaling nagawa ko ay mali ko lang, mag-isa at walang kinalaman ang anak ko roon. I hope someday you'll greet her with a smile on your face. I hope someday you'll forgive me for what I did. I am hoping for nothing but the best for you and your family.
I am so sorry. I will forever reflect on my mistakes.
Sincerely yours,
Olivia Argueles
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
THAT letter made a large impact not just on me but on my family too. I remembered how my mother cried while reading the letter for her and I realized when I forgave Tita Olivia too that it lifted a massive weight off my chest.
Forgiveness was a big thing.
"Uh, anong sa inyo, Sir?" Inayos ko ang cap at shades ko habang nasa tapat ng pharmacy para bumili ng kahit ano.
"Huh?" I asked, dumudungaw pa sa may likod niya para malinaw na makita si Lia na naroon sa may dulong parte, nakasandal at may hawak na papel.
"Sir?"Hhinawi ko ang kamay ko at pinakita sa kanya. "Tabi ka d'yan, tabi." I said.
Lia looked so beautiful just by simply sitting there and reading something, kakagaling ko lang sa duty sa ospital at dito na dumiretso para i-check lang siya. Three days ko nang 'di nakikita pero hindi ko naabutang nandito sa counter kaya todo silip ako.
"Po?" His eyes widened pero hindi ko masyadong pinansin dahil busy ako kakasilip kay Lia sa may likuran niya. "Sir, anong tinitingnan n'yo?"
"Ah?" Napaayos ako ng tayo at tumikhim, sumulyap sa kanyang nagtataka sa akin.
"Sabi ko po, ano pong hanap n'yo?" but my eyes were on his name tag.
Kid pala ang pangalan. Huh, umaaligid ito kay Amalia!
"Gusto ko si Amalia," I told him, fixing my sunglasses so he couldn't see my face.
"Po?" His forehead creased.
"Si...Amalia," naubo ako nang matantong medyo weird nga ako talaga sa biglaang sinabi. "I mean...si Lia, 'yong isang pharmacist, hindi niya duty? Ano, I mean, dito sa counter?"
"Ah, si Lia po?" Tumango ako sa kanya at lumingon muli kay Lia na inaangat na ang buhok niyang mahaba para itali sa ponytail.
Ang ganda talaga ng bibi ko.
"Oo." I nodded.
"It's her break. Kakilala mo, Sir?" aniya. "Malapit na kasi ang exam niya sa med school kaya masyadong abala, kapag break, sa halip na kumain ay kasama pa ang reviewer para mag-aral."
I stopped, realizing how much dedicated Lia was with her studies. Hulog na ako pero mas nahulog pa yata ako sa kanya ngayon.
"Tawagin ko ba, Sir? Gusto n'yo siya—"
"No, no..." I stopped him, shaking his head. "She's studying so let her, it's okay, ayaw ko makaistorbo."
"Okay po," aniya pero nanatili lang akong nakatingin sa likod para sulyapan si bibi ko. "Sir, anong sa inyo?"
Someday, when I have the courage, I promise to show myself to you. I am not enough so I did my best to be better for you, Lia. I hope this time, I will deserve you.
"Sir? Sir? Sir!" Halos mapasapo ako sa dibdib ko nang lumakas na ang boses no'ng lalaki.
"Oh?" I asked. He looked impatient now.
"Sabi ko ano pong order n'yo at marami pa po kaming customer," aniya kaya kumunot ang noo ko pero bumaling at sinabi ang nakita sa may likod niya.
I panicked. Papaalisin na ata 'ko!
"Ah, diaper na lang," I said mindlessly and glanced back at Lia, biting the tip of her pen and taking small notes on the paper.
"Po? One adult size po ba? Sa inyo?" he asked. I nodded nonchalantly.
"Yes, isa, sa 'kin," I said and stopped myself from smiling while looking at my bibi.
"Ano pa po?" aniya at wala sa sariling bumaling ako sa may stall sa gilid niya at sinabi ang pangalan ng unang nakita ko.
"Ah, ano, Diatabs. Dalawa," I said and glanced again at Lia.
"Ah, nagtatae." Biglang nawala ang ngiti ko nang may narinig na nagsasalita sa likuran ko. I froze, glanced behind me and was startled when I saw two people waving at me.
"Hi, Pogi, LBM ka?" ngisi no'ng isa at napakurap-kurap lang ako at napamura sa isipan nang matanto ang nasabi ko.
Isang episode na naman ng kapalpakan ni Atlas Montezides. Napakahusay.
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
MEETING Dr. Sean was another thing. Simula noong nakapag-intern ako sa St. Luke's ay naging malapit na sa amin si doc. Turns out he met my father once kaya Louis na rin ang itinawag niya sa akin na naging dahilan kung bakit ganoon na rin ang tawag ng ilang staff sa akin.
I had no idea how he became close with us but I noticed na mabilis na gumaan ang pakiramdam ko sa kanya. When he asked us if we had someone to recommend for the internship, we immediately recommended Lia and to my shock, he didn't have any second thoughts.
He just smiled as if satisfied we said that, let us write a recommendation letter and without even thinking twice, he personally went to Lia's med school to ask for her.
I thought that maybe he was simply amazed like us by Lia's achievements and that he didn't think twice to check her credentials again. He was just, okay, let's get her, and that was it!
Masusi si doc sa pagkuha ng mga intern noon pero ngayon ay isang recommendation lang galing sa amin ni Heart ay walang pagdadalawang-isip niyang sinang-ayunan.
Well, I'm sure her credentials were a big factor na recommended talaga siya sa university nila but then I was shocked when I later found out he was somehow related to Lia. Akala ko kamag-anak lang but he was her father, after all.
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
THE journey towards Lia's brave heart was tough yet worth it. I spent years studying abroad to be better, not just for myself but for Amalia. I spent years taking care of my mother until she recovered I had no time for other things.
There were a lot of temptations, there were beautiful girls around. There was seduction but maybe, when a man's heart was loyal and committed, it would never cheat despite the uncertainties.
Kapag nagmamahal ka ng totoo, ang pagmamahal ay nananatili kahit gaano katagal. Ang pagmamahal ko ay para kay Amalia Argueles lang. Ang mundo ko'y siya at para sa kanya lang.
The love I had for her is pure, everlasting, and true.
It will never stray...
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Hawak-hawak ko ang kamay ng asawa ko kinabukasan, isang araw ng linggo pagkatapos ng aming kasal kahapon. While listening to the priest preaching in front, I couldn't help but feel happy while touching the woman I love and seeing her beside me.
She glanced at me when she noticed me looking.
"Hi, bibi." I smiled at her.
Her eyes smiled before her lips did, and her lovely face was bright like a burst of sunshine shining so beautifully.
"Hello, bibi," she greeted back.
Humawak ako sa kanyang kamay at dinala iyon sa aking labi habang ang pari ay nagsesermon.
Kinuha niya ang kanyang kamay sa akin, nagtaka ako kung anong gagawin niya noong una pero napangiti na lang nang bahagyang inilagay niya ang braso sa aking baywang at humilig sa akin.
"I love you, Atlas," she whispered and it immediately made my heart flutter. Tumalon ang puso ko habang nakikinig sa kanya. I kissed her head and whispered.
"Mahal na mahal din kita, Lia."
She was the sunshine of my life, the rainbows giving colors to my lame ones. She was the sun after every storm and the happy pill after a tiring day.
I hoped for a blissful life. I hoped for us to stay together for our lifetime but why did this have to happen to us? Bakit kung kailangang nasa akin na siya ay doon ako susubukin? Bakit palagi na lang nauudlot ang sayang akala ko'y para sa akin na?
Why did my wife have to be taken from me like this?
Why?
Tulala at wala sa sariling nakaupo ako sa labas ng operating room. I just woke up after a tiring day of duty in the middle of the night, I was with my wife. We were cuddling and I slept, but the sound from the machine woke me up.
I panicked, shaking while I was calling for help. Nakasunod lang ako sa stretcher habang nagmamadali, halos maghisterikal na.
"I can't promise you anything, Dr. Montezides. This may be lethal for Amalia. She had a heart attack so..." her cardiologist told me after they took her inside.
"N-no, no..." iling ko. "P-please, please, do anything. P-parang awa mo na..."
"We will do our best, Doc. Let's hope for a miracle."
It's been an hour since she was brought inside and I still had no assurance how she was.
While staring at the OR's door, doon na tuluyang kumawala ang luha. Tumungo ako at sinapo ang mukha.
"No..." I whispered and shook my head.
"Doc?" I saw one of the nurses offer me a drink at nanghihinang umiling lang ako, walang lakas na hawakan ang ibinibigay niya.
She left after putting the cup of water beside me. Tumayo ako, dumungaw sa operating room kung saan nila dinala ang asawa ko, nanginginig ang mga tuhod.
My feet brought me to the small chapel near the operating door. The moment I entered the place, my knees wobbled, hindi pa ako nakakarating sa upuan ay napaluhod na ako sa gitna at nahulog na ang ulo.
"P-please..." I found myself sobbing. "H-huwag namang ganito..."
My knees were too weak to even kneel na napasalampak na ako sa sahig ng maliit na kapilya, napapadapa na. I saw how the light from the candle glistened to the Almighty's replica in front looking back at me like he could see through me.
Desperate sobs left my mouth while I lowered my head to mutter desperate prayers.
"D-don't take her away, please," I whispered and cried more. "N-not like this, n-not now. I'm begging you...please, don't."
"M-mahal na mahal ko si Amalia," I cried like a fool. I cried desperately, begging for a miracle. "A-ako na lang, 'wag ang asawa ko..."
"P-please..." I pleaded. "God, please. T-Tita Liv, p-please, c-convince him not to take her away from me. A-ako na lang, 'wag si Amalia. P-parang awa n'yo na..."
"A-Atlas!" a voice echoed. I heard footsteps at mas nanghina ako nang makita ang pinsan na lumuhod sa aking harapan.
"A-Atlas," she called, her voice trembling. Mas kumawala ang luha ko, umiiling.
"S-si Lia, Heart..." I sniffed. "S-si Lia, Heart. A-asawa ko..." I cried violently when she pulled me for a tight hug.
"Cap?" nakita ko ang paglapit ni Josh at may inabot sa akin. "Galing daw sa higaan ni Lia." He handed me a notebook. My heart dropped.
I didn't want what that made me feel.
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
To the bravest man I know,
Goodbye.
Those are the words I never wanted to tell you. The words I'm afraid I would tell you one of these days. Takot na takot ako, Atlas. Takot na takot dahil baka ang mga salitang paalam ay hindi ko pa masabi sa 'yo ng personal. Natatakot akong bigla na lang mawala sa 'yo na hindi man lang nakakapagsabi ng mga salitang ito, natatakot na sa huling pagkakataon ay hindi ko masabi sa 'yong personal na mahal na mahal kita. Na wala na akong mamahaling sino man kung hindi ikaw.
I hope you will never get to read this. That means, buhay ako at naka-survive sa mga pagsubok na ito but if you see this, I'm probably in a critical condition or worst...gone. I am sad yet happy because I would get to tell you this, bibi. These are my last words:
This notebook is my personal journal, my simple diary ever since I was a child. I don't usually write here, bibi, but if you read the previous letters, all of it is about you. 'Wag ka sanang mabigla kapag may nakita ka ritong patay na mga rosas dahil bigay mo iyon sa akin noong mga bata tayo. I kept every rose you gave me way back to cherish you, to cherish the memories I have with you.
Atlas, my husband, I wrote this for you to remember how much I love you. My first surgery was such a miracle but these days, bibi, ayaw ko man ay natatakot akong ang puso ko na ang sumuko sa akin. I am afraid this brave heart of mine would give up from fighting. I am so afraid to bid goodbye to you without saying anything so I am giving my heart to you, this diary is my heart and love for you. Para kapag nawala na ako ay maalala at mabasa mo pa rin ang pagmamahal ko sa 'yo.
I just want to tell you that you are my first and young love, my dreams, and my answered wishes. You are one of my brave heart's strengths. You are the only man I fell in love with, my husband. I want you to know na mawala man ako sa mundong ito ay masaya akong lilisan dahil kasama kita sa huling sandali. Masaya akong aalis dahil alam kong nand'yan ka sa bawat laban ko kahit hindi ko alam. Masaya ako dahil hawak mo ang mga kamay ko habang naghihirap ako. I am happy you never left me even in my weakest, that you stayed even in my miserable times.
Mahal ko, Atlas, bibi ko. Sana tandaan mo na mahal na mahal kita. If I died, I wish you go on with your life and become happy and live your life the fullest. Cry and be sad at first and it's okay, but I hope you continue your life after the pain. Mawala man ako ay alam ko at gusto kong malaman mo na we still had our own happy ending.
Smile my bibi, stay as other people's sunshine because you are my sunshine. Our dark secrets would stay with me and I promise to never reveal it to anyone. Mahal na mahal kita.
I will tell the stars everything about you, my love. Smile now, my bibi.
Mula noon hanggang ngayon, mula simula, gitna hanggang wakas, ikaw ang mundo ko.
Love,
Lia
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
LIFE wasn't rainbows and unicorns, ang buhay hindi lang puro saya. Ang pagmamahal ay puno rin ng pighati at sakit and I knew it now, I understood it now. I understood that life had to take things from us to make us stronger–even if it's fucked up.
Even if it's stupid.
Like how my mother lost my father. Like how Lia lost her mother.
Taking important things from us, unfortunately, sometimes is fate's way to make people stronger and I had a taste of it now.
I crouched a bit on the ground to put the flowers I bought on my way here. I smiled while staring at the grave in front of me as I lit a candle beside it.
Naupo ako at pinagmasdan ang lapida na ngayon ko lang muling nabisita. I closed my eyes and muttered a small prayer. I thanked her for everything. For the lessons she gave us. I prayed for her peace.
Please be our angel. Please guide us from above.
I stayed there for a while, talking to the grave, and when I was done telling my feelings and what's happening these days ay doon ko na napagdesisyunang tumayo at umalis pero muli kong hinaplos muna at pinasadahan ang kanyang lapida at nakita ang napakapamilyar na salita.
Argueles
"I'll go now." Nangiti ako, nagpaalam bago tumalikod at umalis.
I let the stereo played on the background while I drove my way back to the hospital for my night duty, galing ako sa bahay kanina at dahil maaga pa'y nagdesisyon akong bumisita at magdala ng mga bulaklak dahil noong nakaraan pa kami huling nakabisita nila Heart sa kanya.
Pagkarating ko sa ospital ay nagtungo ako sa opisina matapos kausapin ang mga nurse. The empty office welcomed me and it felt so cold.
Nagtungo ako sa may table, nakita ang tambak na mga papel galing sa sekretarya kaya napanguso't napailing. Marami na namang trabaho ngayon, ah? Ganito yata talaga kapag walang operation ngayong gabi.
I glanced at the table and smiled when I saw the photo I had with my wife. It was years ago now, sa biglaang wedding namin iyong dalawa at habang nakatingin ay parang kahapon lang nangyari.
Ang ganda talaga ng asawa ko.
Sa isang frame ay kasama namin ang mga kaibigan at si Ted ay nasa video call pa sa hawak na phone ni Josh.
Lipat Bahay Gang
I glanced at my ring and smiled, hinaplos ko iyon ng aking daliri bago dinala sa labi bago bumaling sa pintuan nang may kumatok.
"Come in," I said and when the door opened, I rolled my eyes.
"Hoy, bobo! Hiyang-hiya naman ako sa dami ng pending mo!" Heart ranted the moment she entered. I frowned.
"Obviously." I motioned to the papers in front of my table. She smirked, napangiwi ako nang may ilapag siyang folder ulit sa harapan ko.
"Sad to say, Dr. Montezides, pero may mga bago kang referral." She grinned at me kaya napatango na lang ako, humuhugot ng hininga.
"Ang dami naman agad," I said.
"Kasalanan ko?" Natawa lang siya at hinawi ang buhok niya, nagmamaldita, kitang-kita ko ang bilugan niyang tiyan dahil sa pagbubuntis.
Ngumisi ako.
"Saan na si Josh? Susunduin ka ba?" I asked.
"Oo, mamaya. May dinner kami," aniya bago kumaway. "Anyway, bobo. Mauuna na ako. Pinapatawag ka nga pala sa cardio department. May kailangan yata."
"Whatever, magpinsan tayo, bobo ka rin," asar ko pa sa kanya. She made a face.
When she left, I opened my new patient's medical profile and saw my name below.
Atlas Louis Montezides, RN, MD, CTS, Cardiologist
I took my doctor's coat after I fixed my navy blue dress shirt and wore my glasses. Habang naglalakad palabas patungo sa cardio department ay binabasa ko ang mga case na ibinigay sa akin para sa briefing ng isang VIP patient na kakailanganin sa surgery.
I glanced at the elevator and saw there was a line kaya sa huli ay nagdesisyon na lamang na maghagdan pababa. I walked down the stairs while reading, masyado akong engrossed sa pagbabasa, wala ang atensyon sa daanan kaya nang may sumabit sa paa ko ay nawalan ng balanse.
"Fuck!" I cursed loudly when my butt fell on the staircase, ayos lang sana kung napaupo lang pero hindi yata talaga masaya ang tadhanang hindi ako pumapalpak.
Tumalbog-talbog ang pwet ko pababa sa hagdan habang tulala ako at nakanganga, people glanced at me but that particular woman was the reason why I was so embarrassed right now.
Nang bumagsak sa huling step ang pwet ko ay tulala ako, nakanganga at wala sa sarili.
"Atlas!" she exclaimed, panicking and ran towards me. She knelt in front of me and my lips parted. "A-are you okay?"
Tumango ako. Her lovely chuckle echoed.
"Lampa..." she said softly.
"P-panaginip mo lang 'yon!" I denied. Nawala ang ngiti niya sabay irap kaya suminghap ako sabay daing at hawak sa balakang.
"Bibi..." I whined. "M-masakit..."
"Jusko, Montezides. Bakit ka kasi nagbabasa sa hagdan?" Napailing na ang asawa ko at mabilis na hinawakan ang kamay ko para makatayo.
"Doc! Okay ka lang?!" Alam kong natatawa ang ibang nakakita pero nag-decide pa ring lumapit kaya gusto ko na lang palamon sa lupa.
"Y-yeah." Tumikhim ako at pekeng ngumiti. "A-ayos lang..."
My wife helped me up, I was almost limping kaya humawak siya sa baywang ko para alalayan ako.
"Cris, pasuyo naman ako, pwedeng pakuha ang chart ng asawa ko na nahulog doon?" She motioned the stairs.
"Opo, Doktora," ani nito at pumunta.
"Ikaw talaga, hindi ka nag-iingat," kurot niya sa tagiliran ko kaya ngumiwi ako pero ngumisi.
"Sorry, bibi Lia. Nabangag lang. I slept so much last night tapos kanina nagpunta ako sa sementeryo," I told her. Her forehead creased.
"Oh? Kanino? Kay Nanay?"
"Opo, I gave her flowers and told her about our baby." Sumulyap ako sa impis pa niyang tiyan dahil halos dalawang buwan pa lang ang baby namin kaya napangiti na siya ng matamis.
"I am planning to visit her on Sunday but...alam ko nakabisita ka na pero can you go with me?" lambing niya.
Siyempre, tatanggi ba si Atlas sa mundo niya? Hindi.
"Of course, bibi." I smiled softly, kissing her hair.
"Thank you!" she beamed. "Saan ka ba pupunta? Umalis akong opisina kasi may kinamusta sa Pedia."
"Cardio department," I answered. "Kaso..."
"It's okay, baka nabalian ka. Ikaw talaga." She shook her head and smiled at the nurse, si Cris, and took the chart from him.
"Cris, pwedeng pasuyo? Pasabi naman sa cardio na 'di makakapunta kaagad itong asawa ko at alam mo na..." bitin pa niya kaya ngumuso ako.
"Grabe naman," I whined pero kinurot niya lang ako.
"Sige po, Doktora," aniya "Doc..."
Nakita kong nagpipigil pa ito ng tawa habang papaalis kaya napabusangot ako kaagad.
"That—"
"Shh, ikaw kasi 'wag kang lutang. Alam ko namang bangag ka, Atlas pero 'wag mong gawing hobby, okay?" marahang sabi niya pero grabe talaga?
"Grabe naman sa hobby, Lia! 'Wag mo na ngang i-best friend si Puso at bully ka na rin," I snorted. Humagikhik siya. Umakbay ako sa asawa papuntang elevator para makapabalik sa opisina at nato-trauma na ako sa hagdanan.
Ipapa-ban ko na 'yan!
"I lost count of your versions, bibi. Ilang update na ba 'yang Atlas Premium mo?" she asked, nang-aasar na naman. Nahulog ang balikat ko.
"Wala, 8.2 na yata 'tong pesteng update at may glitch pa rin," reklamo ko kaya natawa siya ng malakas.
"Wow, tawang-tawa, Mrs. Montezides?" I asked. She smiled cutely. Her black soft eyes made me happy kaya pinisil ko na ang kanyang ilong.
I heard the soft song playing on the hospital's radio and it made me smile. Nagkatinginan kami ni Lia.
It's Make You Mine by PUBLIC.
Well, I will call you darlin' and everything will be okay
'Cause I know that I am yours and you are mine
Doesn't matter anyway
In the night, we'll take a walk, it's nothing funny
Just to talk
"Remember that song?" I whispered. "I sang it to you, no'ng hinarana kita noong high school."
"Ah, 'yong pumiyok ang isa sa team mo?" She mused, taking my hand to kiss it. Mas lumaki ang ngisi ko sabay huli sa kamay niya para makapag-holding hands.
And damn, as usual, it fits perfectly.
Put your hand in mine
You know that I want to be with you all the time
You know that I won't stop until I make you mine
You know that I won't stop until I make you mine
Until I make you mine
We headed to our office. I proudly watch her walk to her office table to check on some compress. I followed her movements adoringly, amazed at how brave my wife was.
My eyes went to the name plaque on her table and it made me smile more.
Amalia Lorraine A. Montezides, RPh, MD, DPM
My beautiful wife and Physician Board Exam's first-placer.
What a strong lady. Despite that soft and innocent face, lies the bravest woman I knew.
I thought I lost her but heavens answered our prayers and didn't abandon us when we needed Him. God didn't take her away from me, He guided her back to me
My wife was so strong to fight for us, for her heart, and for the family we'll build.
She was so brave to survive and I couldn't be thankful enough because my prayers for her that night, were my answered wishes too. My granted prayers. My happy ending.
"Nagsabi si Heart, sa Linggo daw kain tayo kasama sina Josh. Uuwi raw si Ted galing Cagayan kasama ang asawa't anak," aniyang may ngiti habang papalapit pero 'di ko maalis ang titig sa kanya.
"Atlas?" she called kaya humawak ako sa dibdib ko bigla at ngumiwi. "Atlas?!" she exclaimed worriedly.
"Mag-ca-cardiac arrest yata ako," drama ko at ngumiwi kaya napaupo siya sa tabi ko.
"Atlas—"
"Bibi! CPR!" I exclaimed, closed my eyes, and pouted my lips for a kiss.
"You...gago ka!" Napahagalpak na ako nang magmura siya. I opened my eyes and laughed at her adorable irritation.
"Wow, nagmura! Labyu, bibi. Ang ganda mo kasi parang 'di kinakaya ng puso ko." I touched my chest.
She glared at me, kunwari ay galit pero pulang-pula na ang pisngi. She looked like an angry angel. I grinned, mabilis na inabot ang kanyang labi at ninakawan ng halik.
"Montezides nga!" she exclaimed kaya hinila ko siya para sa isang yakap.
"Hindi, sorry na," I laughed in her ear. I touched her back. She embraced me back.
"Alam mo ang kulit mo kasi," reklamo niya. "Mag-ingat ka nga at baka paglabas nitong pangalawa mo ay lasog-lasog na ang tatay niyang lampa."
I pouted, mas naging bully na nga talaga si Amalia Montezides. Kasalanan ito ng pinsan kong bobo talaga!
"Si Louvi, baby, nasa yaya niya kanina before I left our house," I said, telling her about our eldest girl.
Olivia Louisa Argueles Montezides.
"Uuwi na rin ako mayamaya," she muttered. "Ingat ka sa night duty mo, hmm? Sasabay ako kay Heart kapag dumating na si Josh."
"Alright, bibi." I smiled happily and hugged her harder, isiniksik ko ang ulo ko sa kanyang leeg at inamoy-amoy siya.
"Mag-ingat ka, Atlas. Naku, ang balakang mo." She hummed. "Dapat ata, sa halip na pedia, ortho ang specialization ko para sa mga bali mo..."
I grunted and peppered her with tickling kisses. Napatili siya at yumakap lalo.
"Meanie..."
"Sinasabi ko lang naman, bi," she hummed. "Listen, 'kay? 'Di na tayo bumabata at marupok na ang kasu-kasuan mo."
"Alright, bibi," I whispered and closed my eyes, still reveling at the warmth of her body–the warmth I was so lucky to still feel. "Thank you for coming back to me, my bibi. I love you. Mahal na mahal kita, mundo ko."
"Aww, you're being senti again?" she muttered, her voice soft, hinaplos niya ang buhok ko at humalik sa aking tainga. "Okay, let's pray?"
Tumango ako at pumikit, magkayakap pa rin para magdasal.
"Thank you, God. For making me brave and strong," she started. "Thank you for giving me a brave heart and a braver husband to hold on tight and know you had better plans for us. Thank you. Amen."
"Amen..." I breathed shakily.
"Let's thank our Almighty above and nanay, inihatid nila ako pabalik sa 'yo, Atlas," bulong niya at humalik sa tainga ko.
"I love you, bi," I hummed and nodded, burying my face on her neck more.
"I love you too, Atlas, mundo ko." She chuckled. "Ikaw pa rin ang bibi ko."
Nnag-init yata ang pisngi ko sa kilig sa sinabi niya pero hindi ako nagpahalata kaya lumayo akong bahagya at hinanap ang kanyang tingin.
"Bibi ko, lindol ka ba?" I asked. Her forehead creased, her reddish thin lips protruding for a pout.
"Huh?"
"Kasi niyayanig mo ang mundo ko," I said, tinaas ang kamay at pinakitaan siya ng yanig ko kaya napanganga siya.
She laughed heartily, it sounded like the angels singing from above. I winked, mas yumayanig pa–para sa mundo ko.
There...a smile from the bravest girl I knew. A loving smile from my Lia, my brave-hearted wife.
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