Kabanata 13
Kabanata 13
I froze upon realizing I laughed with the silly joke. Naramdaman kong natigilan sila kaya dali-dali akong humawak sa lalamunan ko at nagpanggap na nauubo.
I coughed hard, I heard their quick footsteps at mayamaya'y nasa may harapan ko na sila.
"Are you okay?" Locket asked.
"Mama!" The three exclaimed.
I was shocked with their reactions at para 'di mahalatang 'di talaga ako nabibilaukan ay mas naubo pa ako kunwari.
"Tubig." Locket said, "get a glass of water for your mother!" he said, panicking and I saw how the three vanished, nag-uunahan paalis. Locket moved, ready to touched my back when I moved my body away from him.
"N-no!" I exclaimed and took my tumbler, mabilis ko iyong ininom sa harapan ni Locket at ngumiti. "I'm...I'm good." I said after drinking, marahang ibinababa ang tumbler.
His gray eyes softened when he met mine, my heart pounded when I saw the genuine concern from it.
"Mama!" I heard the boys kaya nanlaki ang mata ko nang makitang lahat sila ay may hawak na baso ng tubig at medyo hinihingal pang inilahad sa akin iyon.
"That's..." I muttered, ready to reject the water they're giving me pero they made an effort so I cleared my throat and pointed my desk.
"Salamat, guys." I smiled, "palagay na lang dito, lalagay ko na lang sa tumbler." I said softly and they all nodded, marahang inilalapag ang mga baso sa harapan ko.
Awkwardly, I opened my tumbler and slowly filled it with water.
"Salamat..." I muttered, smiling and showed them the glasses. Kinuha nila iyong tatlo, nanatiling nakatayo sa may gilid at harapan ko.
Locket is staring at me intently, I can sense how soft that was. He looks confused and sad...I don't know.
I glanced at the three boys and back to Locket and realized they're hiding their hands behind their backs, parang nawawalang mga bata.
"What's...why are you still here?" I asked softly and they stood straight.
"Mama, ayaw...ayaw mo na ba kami maging babies?" Earn asked kaya nanlaki ang mata ko. I saw Brent and Adam nodded their heads, si Locket ay walang imik at tahimik na nakatitig at pinagmamasdan ang reaksyon ko.
"Huh? Bakit...bakit naman hindi?" I asked, chuckling, trying my best to sound cheerful even if it hurts seeing my baby penguins looking so sad.
"Kasi...kasi 'di mo kami binati ng good morning babies?" Adam asked.
"Or mga alaga mo..." Brent pouted.
"Ah!" I chuckled and brushed my hair, sumulyap ako ng bahagya kay Locket na bumuntonghininga lang.
"Sorry, Mama. Sana h'wag kang magagalit sa amin, kay Lt. Pigsa lang." Adam said, nakita kong umirap pa kay Locket na nanlaki lang ang mata sa kanya.
"What? I am your father, Adam—"
"Wala kaming Papa na pigsa!" Earn hissed. "Dahil sa'yo naging guy akong Lt. Tangang Pigsa ka!"
"You..." Locket's mouth parted and when I noticed the boys are about to bully Locket ay tumikhim na ako kaya natahimik sila.
"Sorry..." I muttered at sumulyap. "Don't blame Lt. Dmitrov."
"Pinga..." Locket called, "stop calling me Lieutenant—"
"I have to," I said gently. "You're an officer here, everyone is and I think it's just right for me to show some respect since I am working with you—"
"Just treat us like before, Crest." Locket said, "I'm sorry for what happened last time, I was so wrong and I admit it. Can I do something to fix it? You can slap me or pull my hair...whatever you like."
"Tama 'yan." Brent smirked.
"Madame, suggestion lang...bayagan mo na." Ani Earn na seryoso kaya marahas na napatitig sa kanya si Locket, narinig ko ang tawanan ni Adam at Brent at napangiti na rin ako roon.
"I'm not mad or anything," I said. "But I think I stepped a line separating us, our status here which is wrong. You were kind enough to let me call you like that and act like a spoiled brat around here—"
"I'm sorry." Locket said, "I didn't mean to—" I saw the boys glanced at him.
"Wala kang kasalanan—" they glanced my way.
"Mayro'n akong kasalanan, Pinga. The way I raised my fucking voice at you is so wrong—" bumaling silang muli kay Locket.
"Pero hindi nga—"
"Hindi naman sa pang-aano pero p'wede tapusin niyo muna ang isa't-isa?" Adam cut us off kaya sabay kaming dalawa na natahimik.
"Oh, ikaw muna, Pigsa." Ani Earn at bumuntonghininga si Locket at mas lumapit sa akin.
"Baby, please..." he sighed and lowered his body a bit, "can I do anything to fix this? To...make up for the wrong things I did?"
"It's okay, Lieutenant." I said, "it's me who's wrong, naabala ko ang trabaho niyo—"
"No, you didn't. Ako ang may gustong hanapin ka." He insisted kaya napalunok ako at tumango.
"Okay, I understand." I said. "But still, let me at least be civil for everyone since nagtatrabaho ako at malaki ang utang na loob ko sa inyo na hinayaan niyo ako rito. Sorry for being childish and for being a pain in the ass, I know it now and I will improve."
"Madame..." the three boys muttered sadly.
"You're not..." iling ni Locket, "Pinga, listen, you are not."
I smiled at them and shook my head.
"Thank you, guys, for consoling me but I know that I really am." I said and they are all stunned.
"Crest..."
"Oh, it's kinda late na pala." I said after glancing at my wrist watch. "Maybe I should start working again, excuse me first, Lieutenant, guys."
They all stared at me, shocked. I bowed a bit and took another folder para ilagay sa may locker.
Habang nilalagay ko iyon sa locker ay ramdam ko ang hapdi sa dibdib ko, I sighed. Naririnig ko ang tulakan nila at ang pagtawag nila kay Locket na mukhang ayaw umalis sa desk ko.
To make sure he won't be there when I got back, mabilis akong nagtungo sa CR at composed pa noong una pero nang makapasok ay napasandal ako sa likod ng pintuan at napapikit.
I touched my chest and felt my thumping heart, napasulyap ako sa may cubicle at nang matantong may tao sa banyo ay umayos ako ng tayo at lumapit na lang sa may salamin.
The cubicle's door opened, I wasn't that shock when I saw Caroline went out of it. Mukhang nagulat din siya but I saw how she smirked when she saw me.
Kumuha ako ng handwash bago naghugas ng kamay sa sink at narinig ko ang pagtikhim niya.
"Wow, it shocked me na pumasok ka pa? Lakas ng loob mo, ah?" she asked.
"Why not? I have some work to do, Captain." I said formally.
"Aren't you hurt, Miss Sandejas?" she smiled coldly, kumuha rin ng handwash at naghugas sa sink. "Kung ako pagkatapos sabihan ng gano'n aalis at hindi na babalik, didn't it hurt your ego, hmm?"
"Well, h'wag mo akong itulad sa'yo, Captain. I accept criticisms when it comes to my attitude, I don't turn my back on it without at least trying for a change." I said coldly and glanced at her in the mirror with my resting bitch face.
"I hope you could apply it to your attitude too, Captain. You are a police officer as much as I am concern and you don't talk to civilian like that." I raised my brow. "Lalo na at hindi tayo close."
Kumunot ang noo niya at suminghap. I smiled sweetly at her and it irritate her more.
"How dare you talk to me like that?! Ang yabang mo, sino ka ba?!" she exclaimed and I smirked at her before drying my hand.
"Crest Veronica Sandejas, Captain." I said. "I hope you'll bear that in your mind...para 'di mo nakakalimutan."
Her jaw dropped in shock, I smiled coldly again and nodded before confidently walking out of the restroom.
I was startled when I saw Locket waiting for me outside, napaayos siya ng tayo nang makita ako.
"Crest..." he called and my I felt my heart tugged painfully but I smiled formally and nodded.
"Lieutenant." I greeted back.
"Locket-baby!" I heard the door opened and Carol called him, "kanina pa kita inaantay."
I bit my lip, I saw how Locket's forehead creased at her, mabilis na bumaling sa akin pero nag-iwas lang ako ng tingin.
"Excuse," I said before turning my back at them.
"Locket," Carol called softly.
"Don't. Stop it, Caroline." Locket said hardly at naramdaman ko ang pagsunod niya sa akin.
"Crest..." he called pero mabilis akong umiwas at nagtungo na sa desk ko.
"Locket!" I even Carol called at mayamaya'y 'di ko na naramdamang nakasunod sa akin si Locket.
I saw the three boys glancing at me, nang lumingon ako sa kanila ay dali-dali silang nag-iwas ng tingin, sa panic na nakita ko ang ginawa ay nahulog pa si Adam sa lapag kaya napanguso ako. I saw the two boys helped him up, laughing a bit kaya pumunta na lang ako sa upuan ko para asikasuhin ang mga trabahong iniwan sa akin ni Ate Minda.
It was a bit off working this way, quiet and composed. Kadalasan kasi ay maingay ako, kasama sina Earn ay bubulabugin namin ang opisina ni Locket at doon ako tatabi sa kanya kahit magso-sort lang naman ako ng files.
I can feel their glances at me, si Locket ay palakad-lakad sa pwesto ko tapos tatayo sa harapan ko kaya palagi ko siyang nililingon.
"You need something, Lieutenant?" I asked formally and I saw him sighed, licked his lower lip and brushed his hair with his fingers.
"Baby..." he called.
"Crest is my name, Lt." I said and smiled. "Not baby."
His shoulder slacked, nakanganga lang siya sa harapan ko at mukhang wala na sa sarili kung hindi lang siya hinila nina Brent paalis at narinig ko na naman ang pang-aaway nila kay Locket.
"Alam mo kasi, tanga ka!" Earn hissed at him.
"Hey, let me remind you that I'm your boss—"
"Share mo lang?" tawa ni Earn. "Ano, sapakan?!" I glanced a bit at their way and saw the three lifting their sleeves, in attempt to scare Locket off.
"Tara." Locket said competitively, nang i-angat na ang kamao ay biglang nagsigawan ang tatlo at nagtatatakbo kaya napatawa na lang ako at nagbaba ng tingin sa ginagawa.
Lunch came and I remained working quietly in my desk when the boys came and stood in front of me.
"Mama, lunch?" ani Earn kaya nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanila.
I saw Adam pushed Locket who cleared his throat and offered his hand at me.
"Let's have lunch, Pinga?" he asked me gently and my heart pounded with his gesture pero pinigilan ko ang sarili.
"Ah, hindi na." I chuckled and touched my stomach. "Naparami kasi ang eat ko ng breakfast kanina and you know, busog pa ako."
"How about a snack?" Locket asked, "uh, I saw a newly opened store nearby and sabi nila may masasarap na mga pagkain, we don't have to eat rice, right?" bumaling siya sa mga lalaki na mabilis ding tumango.
"Hindi na, ano ba kayo." I smiled gently. "I'm really full I think my stomach's gonna burst. Alam niyo namang takaw-tingin ako madalas, 'di ba? Hindi ko rin naman nauubos lahat kaya...I really don't think it's ideal for me to eat."
"How about fruit shake?" Brent asked and I saw everyone nodded, "Madame, may alam akong bilihan! Naku, mapapa-paksheyt ka sa sarap! Inumin lang, hindi ka mabubusog—"
"Guys, thank you for the effort." I smiled at them and fixed my hair. "But I really am full, salamat sa invitation. Enjoy eating!" I said happily and I saw their shoulder fell.
"Crest..." Locket called, "how about some great tusok-tusok? There's a store nearby—"
"Thanks, Lieutenant, boys but I really am fine." I said in finality. "I am full and I am really grateful for the offers but hindi na talaga kakayanin ng tiyan ko."
Locket opened his mouth in attempt to offer something when Adam covered his mouth, si Brent ay hinatak ang uniporme ni Locket na nagpupumiglas na at si Earn ay malungkot na kumaway lang sa akin.
"Bye, Mama..." he said and I smiled and nodded.
"Bye, enjoy!" I said cheerfully and even waved at him.
I saw how Locket even attempted to return but the boys pulled him out of the precinct kaya hindi na nagawang makabalik ng huli.
"What a great actress," Carol mocked when she passed through me and I just shrugged, hindi siya pinagbigyan ng pansin at bumaling na lang sa ginagawa ko.
"How dare you not look at me?" Carol hissed and I tilted my head, lifting it so I could see her.
"Oh, I didn't know it's a requirement to look at you. I actually don't waste my time looking at something unimportant." I said and her forehead creased.
"Bakit? Sino ka ba?" she asked me, as if she was offended and I smiled.
"Ikaw, bakit...sino ka ba?" balik kong tanong sa kanya at umawang na ang labi niya, iritadong inayos ang skirt and iritadong umalis.
It made me smirk, I thought she's a good woman when I first met her but...I don't know now.
It's lunch and my stomach's already making this weird sound and yes, I lied. I realized I was so close to them—or perhaps, I'm feeling close kasi we just knew one another for what just a few months and I was so comfortable na naging inconsiderate na ako sa trabaho nila.
I realized I was being too much, joining them comfortably in work, sa pagkain, sa mga kwentuhan, sa lahat. I can even go in and out of Locket's office without second thoughts kahit Lieutenant pa siya na hindi masyadong nagagawa ng mga kasamahan nilang pulis dito which is quite unfair for them and I think I overstepped the line.
Patapos na rin naman ako rito so at least, I should do my best to be a good employee dahil ito ang unang trabaho ko simula't-sapul. I should do something productive para kahit papaano, kahit kakaunti'y may nagagawa naman akong tama sa buhay ko.
I am hungry, wala naman akong dalang foods bukod sa pink at may glitters na tumbler ko kaya tumayo ako at lumabas, bibili ng palamig sa may malapit.
I was on my way to the vendor when a lady got passed me, nagkagulatan kami at nagkabanggaan kaya tumilapon ang kaunting tubig niya sa damit ko.
I gasped, nanlaki rin ang mata niya at napasinghap.
"O-oh my God, oh my God, Ate! I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, napasulyap ako sa damit ko at nakitang kaunting parte ang nabasa roon.
"It's okay," I said. "Ayos lang, kaunti lang 'to."
"I'm really sorry!" she looked like she's panicking. "Nagmamadali lang kasi ako, I have a test to attend today kaya hindi rin kita napansin. Bayaran ko na lang po ang damit mo, Ate—"
"No, ano ka ba?" I chuckled a bit. "Maliit na bagay lang, it's okay."
She sighed, I saw her eyes brightened and she nodded at me, "naku, maraming salamat po, Ate! Kinabahan ako, I didn't mean to offend you pero mukha ka po kasing masungit kaya..."
"Oh, really?" my eyes widen. "I looked masungit?"
"Ah, medyo po." She chuckled a bit. "Seryoso ka kasi pero no'ng ngumiti ka hindi pala, ang ganda mo, Ate!"
I smiled, I nodded and stared at her.
"Salamat, you're really pretty too." I said softly. "'Di ba may exam ka? Hindi ka ba male-late?" I asked and she gasped, napasulyap sa orasan bago ako nilingon.
"Ay, oo nga! Sige, Ate! Maraming salamat! Sorry po ulit!" she exclaimed, waved at me at nakangiting tumango ako at pinagmasdan siyang papaalis.
I glanced at my clothes and took my handkerchief, pinunasan ko iyon habang naglalakad sa vendor na pinagmamasdan din akong pabalik.
"Magandang umaga, Ma'am!" bati niya kaya nangiti ako.
"Magandang umaga po," I greeted back. "Kuya, pabili pong isang pandan."
He nodded, habang kumukuha siya ay pinupunasan ko naman ang damit kong nabasa.
"Bakit hindi ka nagalit sa kanya, hija?" aniya bigla kaya napasulyap ako.
"Po?"
"Doon sa bata, bakit 'di ka nagalit?" he asked me curiously, "kasi, marami na akong nakitang ganyan at kadalasan ay sisigawan nila ang mga nakakabuhos ng tubig, miski nga haharang lang sa daan ay sisigawan at papagalitan na. Bakit ikaw hindi? Nagtataka lang ako, hija."
"Well..." I bit my lip and thought of it. "Tubig lang naman po ang nabuhos sa akin."
"Paano kunwari kung kape or juice?"
"Aksidente naman po, Kuya." I said. "Either it's juice or what, I understand po. May exam din 'yong babae kaya nagmamadali at hindi sadyang nabuhusan ako, atsaka ayoko po ng sinisigawan ng gano'n ang mga tao."
"Hmm," he nodded and gave me the drink. "Bakit naman hindi?"
"Kasi po...a lot of things can be settled with talking calmly than raising your voice. Aksidente naman po, isa pa, ayaw kong magtaas ng boses sa mga bagay na gano'n dahil una sa lahat 'di ko naman alam ang pinagdadaanan ng tao. Paano po pala 'di ba, kung sinigawan ko 'yong babae tapos may exam siya tapos naapektuhan kaya bumagsak siya? Or what if kulang siya sa tulog kakaaral tapos hindi sinasadya ay magsasabi na ako ng masama?" I said and I saw Kuya smiled and nodded at me.
"Nakakatuwa ka naman, hija."
"Ay, hindi naman po." I chuckled and fixed my hair before sipping on my juice. "Ayaw ko lang gawin sa ibang tao ang ayaw kong nangyayari sa akin. I don't want to be mad of things like that because I experienced it too, 'yong tipong hindi mo sinasadyang makaharang sa daan tapos sisigawan ka at pagsasabihan ng masama? That hurts, I know that feeling so why would I do it to other people? I think kindness is a big thing. Give what you want to receive and in this case, it's the kindness, I guess?"
While I was telling that, si Kuya ay ngumiti lang habang nakatitig sa akin.
"Natutuwa ako sa'yo, hija, parang ikaw 'yong anak ko. Masiyahing tao."
"Po? Nasaan na po siya? I'd like to meet her."
"Masayahin iyong bata, hindi mo kakakitaan ng kalungkutan." Aniya. "Wala kaming kalam-alam na may pinagdadaanan niya, hindi nagsasabi sa amin at akala nami'y ayos lang siya pero isang araw...nakita namin sa kwarto, wala na."
I froze, "po? Paano..."
"Nagpakamatay, hija." He said sadly at napasinghap ako.
"N-naku...sorry po." I sighed, "I was insensitive, pasensya na po."
"Matagal na 'yon," he smiled sadly. "Ilang taon na ang nakalipas, masayahin din siya kagaya mo, sobra. Palangiti pero hindi namin alam may dinaramdam na pala."
Natahimik ako roon at nakinig sa kanya.
"Wala kaming kalam-alam ng Nanay niya kaya sobrang sakit na hindi man lang namin siya nadamayan noong gano'n siya..." he sighed and stared at me again, "alam mo, hija, sa ilang buwan mo riyan sa presinto at pagbili rito ng palamig nao-obserbahan na kita."
I stared at him and he continued speaking.
"Masayahin kang bata, nakikita ko kayo nila Lt. 'tsaka 'yong tatlong makukulit. Si Locket, hija, tahimik na tao pero kapag magkakasama kayong apat ang ingay niyo. Si Locket din ay tumatawa na ngayon ko lang nakita." He smiled. "Masaya akong napapasaya mo sila pero alam mob a kapag mag-isa ka na lang, mababakas ko 'yong lungkot sa mata mo?"
I froze and he smiled at me.
"Alam kong may kanya-kanya tayong bigat na dinadala pero alam mo, hija, minsan ay kailangan mong magtanggal ng bigat sa puso at sabihin sa iba." He smiled. "Kasi ang problema kapag kinikimkim, mahirap na kalaban iyan, kagaya ng anak ko. Sana nakausap namin siya kaagad...kaya ikaw, alam kong may bigat ka ring buhat pero h'wag mong ipunin sa sarili mo, hija."
Napaisip ako sa sinabi niya at natantong tama siya, na kinikimkim ko lang ang bigat para ako lang ang nahihirapan.
"H'wag mo sanang maisip na makakadagdag ka ng bigat sa mga nagmamahal sa'yo dahil alam kong handa silang tulungan ka sa pag-angat nito paalis sa balikat mo. Ang mga nagmamahal sa'yo, handang tulungan kang tanggalin ang hirap kaya sana h'wag mong kimkimin, ha?"
"Opo..." I smiled gently and nodded.
"Sana ay maging masaya ka na ng tuluyan, hija. Maganda ang puso mo."
"Like me po?" I placed my hand on my cheek and giggled kaya natawa na siya sa akin.
"Oo, kagaya mo." He chuckled. "Masaya akong masaya ka at masaya rin na ang mga pulis diyan at napapatawa mo, seryoso kasi madalas, lalo na si Lieutenant? Masaya akong may babae na muling nagpangiti sa kanya."
Napaisip ako roon, "ex po ba?" I asked, wasn't that shock kasi ako rin ay mayroon.
"Oo, masaya naman sila noon kaso—" hindi ko na siya napakinggan nang makitang malapit na ang sasakyan nila Locket.
"Ay, sorry po!" I gasped. "Pasok na po ako, Kuya, ha? Maraming salamat po sa sinabi niyo at napagaan ang loob ko."
"Walang anuman," aniya kaya kumaway ako at bago pa man makaparada sina Locket ay nagtatatakbo na ako papasok ng presinto habang sinisipsip ang pandan ko para mabilis maubos na muntik pang pumasok ata sa ilong ko.
Nang maubos ko ay mabilis kong itinapon sa basurahan at saktong pagkita ko sa kanila sa may pintuan ay umupo ako ng pang babaeng marangal sa desk ko at kinagat ang ballpen para kunwari'y abala.
Ang bilis naman nila?
I heard the policemen greeted them, tahimik lang naman akong nagsusulat kunwari nang biglang lumapit si Earn at tinawag ako.
"Madame, madaming tao sa kakainan as in lahat kaya wala kaming maupuan, nag-take-out na lang kami." He smiled. "Binilhan ka rin namin, tara, Madame, kain tayo sa opisina ni Pigsa."
"Uh...no." I shook my head and smiled, "I'm really full, Earn. Super thank you sa concern, isa pa baka may gagawin kayo sa opisina or meeting sa case niyo? Ayaw ko naman makaistorbo."
"Hindi ka naman istorbo, Mama." Brent said, "sige na, kain na tayo, masarap 'yong foods, binili namin 'yong gusto mong garlic rice."
That sounds so yummy but I thought of this thoroughly kaya umiling ako at ngumiti.
"I don't want to disturb you, guys. I am really full. Thank you." Tipid kong sabi at nakita ko ang lungkot sa mga mata nila pero hindi naman na umimik at bumuntonghininga lang.
"Mama! Binili ka naming fruit shake!" ani Adam na papalapit, malaki ang ngisi pero hinila siya nina Earn.
"Busog si Mama raw," ani Earn na malungkot pa at si Adam ay napanguso at sumulyap sa akin pero nagbaba lang ako ng tingin.
I can sense their sadness pero 'di naman na nila ako kinulit, inabala ko ang sarili ko sa paggawa ng timeline sa mga case na ginawa nila nang naramdaman kong kumukulo na ang tiyan ko.
I closed my eyes tightly.
"Let's eat," nagulat pa ako nang makita si Locket na mukhang may itinatago sa likod niya. His gray eyes are staring intently at me and I gulped, shaking my head.
"No, busog ako—" but unfortunately, my stomach made a freaking sound, startling the both of us. My eyes widen and he shook his head at me.
"Kakain ka." Aniya, nagulat ako nang may ilabas siya sa likod niya at inilahad sa akin.
On his right hand are three freshly plucked roses, nakita ko kaagad ang pamumula ng kamay niya at sa isa niyang kamay ay may isang medyo kalakihang cute na penguin plush toy.
"That's..." I gasped.
"This is our new baby, Mama Pinga, meet Ping-ping." He said at gulat man, inabot ko ang sobrang lambot na laruan at ang rosas na inilalahad niya.
"Bakit..." napakurap ako, "bakit may ganito?" I asked but he didn't say anything, walang pasabing kinuha niya ang mga folder na kaharap ko, itinabi para malinis ang lamesa ko.
I saw Locket nodded, nakabaling sa may likod ko at nakita kong malalaki na ang ngiti no'ng tatlo, parang magpi-picnic pa ata at maraming dalang pagkain.
"Hello, Madame. Kain tayo, ah?" ngiti ni Earn kaya napatango ako, gulantang sa kanilang lahat.
Kanya-kanya sila sa pagkuha ng upuan at pag-distribute ng pagkain na nasa Styrofoam, sina Brent naman ang sa mga fruit shake. Earn gave each and everyone their share, si Locket ay nagtungo sa tabi ko pagkatapos kumuha ng upuan at binuksan ang styro sa harapan ko.
"It's pancit with some slice pork, 'yong kanin garlic rice kasi paborito mo." Ani Locket na naglagay pa ng kutsara't-tinidor sa may pagkain ko.
I bit my lower lip, marahang niyakap ko ang malambot na penguin at sumulyap sa rosas sa isang kamay ko.
"Saan niyo naman 'to kinuha?" I asked and lifted the rose.
"Nak ng..." Earn gasped when he saw it. "Lt. Pigsa, inubos mo na naman ang tinanim ko?!" he exclaimed.
Narinig ko ang tawanan ni Adam at Brent at si Locket ay ngumuso lang at tumabi sa akin, "may tira pa namang isa, Earn." He even smiled kahit masama na ang tingin sa kanya ni Earn.
"At ang garden ni Ernesto ay panot na naman." Adam whistled kaya napanguso ako at itinabi ang hawak kong roses at inilagay sa hita ang penguin.
"Tara, kain na." Brent smiled at me, "Mama, alam naming gutom ka na kaya kakain tayo."
My heart felt warmer with their gesture and I nodded and smiled, inabot ko ang kutsara at nagsimulang kumain. Maybe I'm really starving na sunod-sunod ang subo ko ng pagkain, nagulat pa ako nang inabot ako ni Locket.
I glanced at him and saw how he seriously put my hair behind my back before wiping something from the side of my lips.
"Messy." He commented while staring at me.
"Sheyt, keleg!" I heard Adam said at napatalon ako sa upuan, ngumuso ako at si Locket ay sinita ang mga lalaking parang sinilihan pa roon at ngingiti-ngiti pa.
Nagkukulitan ang tatlo pero tahimik lang akong kumakain, pansin ang panaka-nakang tingin ni Locket. Nabusog na ako pero medyo maraming pagkain ang binili nila kaya inabot ko ang tissue at pinunasan ang gilid ng labi ko.
Slowly, I pushed my styro filled with my leftovers to Locket na kaagad iyong nakita.
"Ayaw mo na?" he asked and I shook my head and he nodded, kinuha ang styro ko at inilagay ang pagkain sa lagayan niya at kinain iyon.
I watched him do that, habang sumimsim ng fruit shake ay napatitig ako sa plush toy sa hita ko at tinitigan ang mukha nito.
"Ping-ping..." I said softly and glanced at them, "saan niyo naman nakuha 'to?"
"Uh, si Lt. Pigsa." Ani Adam, "'di ba, may perya malapit doon sa pinagbibilhan nito?"
I slowly nodded when I remembered it.
"No'ng napadaan kami, nakita niyang may bagong laruan na penguin, nawala sa likod namin tapos no'ng hinanap namin, ayon gigil na nagbababaril na pala ng mga bibe." Adam said and laughed.
My eyes widen, sumulyap ako kay Locket na seryosong kumakain pero namumula na ang tainga.
"Gago, naalala ko 'yong itsura niya no'ng hindi niya natamaan 'yong pang-huling bibe! Kulang na lang magwala! Parang angry pigsa!" Brent said at nagtawanan sila.
I saw Locket frowned at him, nakita kong gumalaw kaunti at mayamaya'y dumadaing na si Brent.
"Bakit ka naninipa?!" he hissed.
"Abno, h'wag mo kasing siraan! Kitang nanunuyo ng Mama Pinga si Papa Pigsa!" ani Earn at muli na naman nilang inasar si Locket na nakabusangot na.
"Sabi pa niya--may kapatid na kayo. Pinga will be happy to meet Ping-ping..." Earn said in a teasing voice, imitating Locket at doon na nabulunan si Locket at nakagat ko ang labi at mas niyakap lang ang plush toy nang magrambulan na naman ang mga lalaki roon.
My day is pretty peaceful, tho, I am still quiet. Malaging pumupunta sa akin ang tatlo at si Locket ay pabalik-balik sa akin, tanong nang tanong about sa files na halata namang alam niya pero sinasagot ko na lang din tapos ay babalik sa trabaho at matatapos siyang bagsak ang balikat.
Noong uwian ko na ay nagpaalam na akong paalis sa kanila at dahil nag-commute lang naman ako kanina, nag-antay ako ng cab na p'wedeng masakyan pauwi pero nagulat nang may pumarada sa may harapan ko.
I was shocked upon seeing Locket, mabilis pa siyang lumabas ng sasakyan para mapagbuksan ako.
"Hatid na kita," he offered and I shook my head, mas niyakap ko si Ping-ping bago sumagot.
"Hindi na, Lieutenant." I smiled gently. "Antay na lang akong cab—"
"I insist," he said. "Please, baby? I won't do anything...kung ayaw mo akong magsalita, I won't. Hindi kita kukulitin. Behave lang ako."
"I don't want to disturb you, Lt., baka may importante kang gagawin—"
"Nothing's more important than you, Crest." He said and I froze, my heart pounded and I saw how he closed his eyes and sighed.
"Please? Ihahatid lang kita, and I'm Pingu...call me Pingu again." Hindi na ako nakaimik doon at tumango na lang.
I heard him muttered a small, excited yes! pero umayos ng tayo nang makita akong nakatitig sa kanya. He cleared his throat bago inilahad sa akin ang sasakyan, inalalayan niya pa ako papasok at kaagad kong inayos ang seatbelt pagkapasok niya, niyayakap ng bahagya si baby Ping-ping.
I saw him wanting to say something but stopping himself, tahimik din akong hinahaplos lang ang penguin at ang rosas habang nasa biyahe at nang makarating sa parking lot ng unit ko ay kaagad akong bumaling sa kanya.
"Salamat pala, Lieutenant." I said and he sighed and stared at me. "Thank you for this cute penguin and the roses, ayos na ba ang kamay mo?"
I glanced at his hand at nakitang bahagyang namumula pa rin ang kamay niya.
"Patingin nga," I muttered and he lifted his hand and showed me his palm. I noticed the small, red spots on it and spoke. "Did you drink your meds?"
"Yeah, kanina." He said and I sighed, marahang ibinaba ko ang kamay niya at tumikhim.
"Salamat talaga for the effort but...I really don't think you should risk your health just for these roses, Lt. I appreciate it but if it will cause you your allergy then..."
"That isn't just flowers, Crest. That flowers are for you." He sighed, "para sa'yo 'yan and this are just allergies, may gamot naman ako and these spots will fade."
"But still..." I licked my lip. "Hindi naman ako importanteng tao para i-risk mo ang allergy mo."
"You are important to me, okay?" he said seriously kaya natahimik na ako. "Importante ka sa akin, Crest Veronica kaya sobrang nag-alala ako."
"I'm sorry..." I muttered and lowered my head.
"We can't contact you, it's your off kaya buong akala ko nasa inyo ka lang o kaya'y nasa mga pinsan mo but your father called and asked me if I am with you. Wala ka sa tabi ko no'ng araw na 'yon kaya natakot ako no'ng sinabi ni Attorney na nawawala ka. Your family has threats around and you didn't like bodyguards kaya kampante rin si Atty. dahil nasa presinto ka nagtatrabaho but you are nowhere to be found. The last thing we knew is that you went out and we had no idea nasaan ka na."
I stared at my fingers while listening to him.
"We couldn't contact you, your phone's off so it's impossible for us to track you. We can't report you missing because you weren't gone for twenty-hours. Attorney's frantic and mad, thinking his enemies might got you. We searched everywhere for you but you're nowhere to be found. We are worried because you're important to us, Crest. We love you." He sighed, inabot niya ang isang kamay ko kaya natigilan na ako.
"I'm sorry..." he muttered and stared intently at me. "I was wrong for raising my voice like that. I know you're sensitive yet I did that which is wrong. Hindi ako nakapag-isip ng maayos at naunahan ng galit at pag-aalala sa'yo."
"I'm wrong too," I said in a small voice. "I know I just wanted to surprise everyone, ni hindi ko man lang naisip na mag-aalala pala kayo. Dad warned me about going out but still..."
"I understand and I am really sorry for what I've said. Sorry kung hindi ako naging kalmado sa halip na pakinggan ka. I'm just...I don't know." I stared at his eyes and saw the worry in it. "Natatakot ako kapag nawawala ka sa paningin ko kaya I panicked when your father told me you're missing. Uminit ang ulo ko sa mga naiisip, kung...napahamak ka ba? Kung ano tapos wala ako para matulungan ka man lang."
He caressed my palm softly and spoke, "the words I said, that was so insensitive and I shouldn't have told you that pero napangunahan ako ng galit at pag-aalala sa'yo pero mali pa rin. I'm so sorry. You told me once how you easily got hurt with words pero hindi ko man lang naisip. I was such an idiot for even telling you that you don't deserve what other people is telling you, na hindi mo deserve pagtaasan ng boses tapos ako pa itong gago." He chuckled nonchalantly.
"Practice what you preach but here I am, apologizing after being so insensitive of raising my voice to my Pinga." I saw the regret on his gray eyes. "I didn't mean to say that and I'm so sorry, Crest. Can I do anything to fix this? Tell me and I'll do it in a heartbeat."
"You don't have to apologize because I understand, Lt." I said softly. "And if you're insisting then I forgive you but I think we must reconsider our relationship."
I saw how pain filled his eyes, "what do you mean?" he asked.
"I'm just..." I gently took my hand from him. "Naguguluhan ako ngayon, sa sarili ko, sa mga desisyon ko sa buhay, sa lahat. Ayaw kong maging abala sa inyo, sa trabaho, sa presinto, sa buhay mo."
"Hindi ka abala, Crest." He explained. "You never are."
"But I don't think I deserve you...now that I'm like this, ngayong patapon ako."
"Hindi ka patapon, okay?" he said. "You are working to become a better person and I am a witness for that, you are doing great, Pinga."
I shook my head and sighed, "let's just break up."
He froze, I saw how his mouth parted at that.
"Crest..." he called, "don't do this, we can talk this out—"
"This is for you, Locket." I said seriously and looked at him. "I didn't know who I am now...or what I want, I want to be better pero mukhang..." I shook my head.
"Hindi mo na ako Pingu?" he asked me, I can sense the lone tone on his voice and I bit my lower lip, nakita ko ang mapungay niyang mata, bakas ko ang sakit doon at naiiyak na ako pero umiling.
"Sorry..." I whispered. "I hope you understand."
Silence filled us, mabilis kong tinanggal ang seatbelts at hinawakan ang bag at ang mga bigay niya para sana lumabas pero naunahan na niya ako, pinagbuksan pa ako ng pinto kaya ngumiti ako ng tipid at lumabas.
"Let me at least take you inside," he said and I nodded. Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa may entrance, tahimik at walang imik.
I can feel the loud thump of my heart while we're so close yet...I know we couldn't be the same anymore because Locket...he deserves more. He deserves a woman who's stable and can be like him and I am not that woman. I have issues, I am not stable when it comes to the way I think. I am not successful...I'm dirty.
And he deserves more, not someone like me.
"Lieutenant, salamat." I said when we reached the elevator and he remained looking at me, walang sinasabi kaya ngumiti na lang ako at tumalikod, akmang papasok na sa elevator pero mabilis niyang naabot ang pulsuhan ko.
I froze, naramdaman ko ang paglapit niya at mayamaya'y ang isang braso niya ay nasa baywang ko na, marahang ibinabaon niya naman ang ulo sa leeg ko bago nagsalita.
"But...I will wait for you, Pinga." He whispered. "When you're ready. Just, always remember na whatever you do, I will always be here to support you. Dito lang ako, Crest. Hindi ako aalis."
"Pingu is always here to support you. You did a great job, baby and you are not what people are telling you. You are smart and a genuine person, you deserve love and I know you will be successful. Pingu is so proud of Mama Pinga." Nangilid ang luha ko kaya nakagat ko ang labi at walang salitang humiwalay sa akin at sa pagtingin ko sa likod ay tahimik siyang umalis.
While watching his back, I felt like following him and taking him back but I know better. I don't...I don't deserve him.
I hugged Ping-ping tighter and sighed deeply before entering the elevator, trying to calm myself because I don't want crying anymore. I am exhausted, I am hurt and felt so lost.
Bagsak ang balikat at mabigat ang pakiramdam ko habang naglalakad papunta sa condo ko. Today, I am planning to just watch some funny movies, hug my new baby Ping-ping and curled up on my bed, maybe sleep? Basta hindi dapat ako mang-iistorbo sa mga taong mahal ko ay ayos na ako.
Para akong lantang gulay papasok pero nang matantong bukas ang ilaw sa buong unit ay kumunot na ang noo ko. Immediately, I am on full alert. I walked on the side, mabilis na inilapag ang laruan at ang ibang gamit ko sa sofa bago inabot ang walis na nakita ko.
Slowly, I walked towards the place where the noise is coming from, I can even smell something kaya mas kumunot ang noo ko.
I lifted the walis-tambo more and I ran towards the kitchen and saw a woman near the stove.
"Sino ka?!" I screamed in panic and ran towards her and she jumped and screamed back, lifting her sandok and we're about to attack each other when we both froze.
"Mommy?!" I gasped and her eyes widen, nasa ere pa rin ang sandok.
"P-princess?" she gasped at nagkatitigan kami saglit bago sabay na napabuntonghininga at nagbaba ng mga dangerous weapon, mine is the walis-tambo and hers was her sandok.
"Mom..." I muttered and put the broom on the side, mabilis na lumakad palapit sa kanya at nakita kong nagulat din siya nang basta ko na lang siyang yakapin. "Mommy, I love you...sorry po." I whispered.
She gasped, gumalaw siya saglit at mayamaya'y niyayakap na ako pabalik.
"Hey, my baby Crest." She muttered, touching my hair. "I love you too, anak. Galing kang trabaho? I miss you."
"Hmm..." I hummed, hugging her waist more, halos magkasingtangkad lang kami ni Mommy kaya ramdam ko ang paghalik niya sa buhok ko at mas mahigpit na yakap sa akin.
"Are you tired, anak? Sorry for barging into your unit, ah? I just wanted to visit you, kanina pa ako nandito kaso wala ka kaya pumasok na lang ako. Is it okay?"
"Opo." I whispered. "Thank you for coming, Mom. I hope I didn't disturb you."
"Oh, you did not, princess." She chuckled, marahang lumayo siya sa akin at pinaupo ako sa may stool. "I went here for you, and well, try and cook for you."
I realized she's wearing a purple apron and a chef's cap, naalala ko ang pink kong gano'n kaya nakagat ko ang labi.
"Mommy, can I help you cook?" I asked and mula sa niluluto ay bumaling sa akin, she immediately nodded and smiled.
"Yeah, you can help me. I need your taste too in this food, natatakot ako at baka ma-food poison tayong dalawa." Aniya kaya natawa ako at tumango.
Excitedly, I went on my room, I tied my hair in a clean bun before I wore my pink apron and cap to match my Mom's and it lifted my mood. I thought I'll be sad and alone tonight but Mom is here...masaya akong nandito ang Mommy ko. Sobra.
I was almost hopping when I got back at si Mommy ay nakapaywang na, mukhang stress sa ginagawa niya kaya natawa ako.
"Mom, what are you cooking?" I asked and walked towards her.
She glanced at me and her frown vanished. I saw how her eyes scanned my outfit and hers and her eyes widened in amazement.
She immediately lifted her hand and I chuckled, lifted my hand too to connect the end of our fingers.
"Matchy-matchy!" we exclaimed before giggling.
"Where did you bought that, ganda?" her eyes twinkled, "ako, I ordered it online kasi I wanna try making cakes this time."
"Online rin, Mom." I said. "Para masterchef." I said, making her laugh. "Ano bang niluluto mo, My?"
"Oh, just some pork adobo, Crest." She pouted and slowly linked her arms on mine. "Your Dad bought the ingredients, dapat nga siya ang magluluto kasi nga we wanted to surprise you with some good food but unfortunately, emergency came. He has to go and ako na lang ang gagawa kaya pumunta na lang ako rito but as you see...I'm not a good cook. I am afraid I might poison the two of us right now."
My heart pounded upon hearing my Dad.
"Dad...wanted to surprise me?" I asked softly and she smiled and nodded.
"Oo, he was so excited to cook something kaso nga ayon, kliyente kaya 'di natuloy. Ayaw ko namang i-postpone kaya ako na lang ang pumunta but I just watched the ways how to cook on youtube, princess. Feeling ko super tabang na niya and the meat's still not cook, I guess." She smiled awkwardly.
"Tikman ko, My?" I asked and she nodded, kinuha niya ang sandok niya bago i-angat at pinatikim ako kaya nilasahan ko rin iyon.
"So...?"
"Matabang, My." I said and her lips protruded more.
"I knew it, I really should attend my cooking lessons." She sighed. "I really don't get it how your father can stand my cooking, I mean, wala naman siyang reklamo."
"Baka sanay na ang dila, My?" I asked and when she glared at me, I laughed. "Joke! Sarap mo kaya magluto. The best kang Mommy, eh!" I exclaimed and kissed her cheek kaya natawa siya at tinusok ang tagiliran ko.
"Sige nga, ikaw na magtimpla ng lasa anak. Put some soysauce or something para medyo may lasa?" she said and I smiled and nodded, hinayaan ako ni Mommy na lumapit sa stove habang binabalatan naman niya ang quail eggs para ilagay.
Naglagay naman ako ng toyo at tinikman iyon pero medyo hindi ko pa gusto kaya mas dinamihan ko, halos maubos na ang nasa bote.
"Okay na, 'nak?" Mom asked and I smiled and nodded, nilagay niya ang quail eggs bago hinalo-halos at tinusok-tusok ang karne para lumambot.
"Oh, let's leave it first, may dala akong pasalubong sa'yo." Mom said and I watched her walked outside, naka-dress pa siya at heels, dala pa ang sandok kaya natawa na ako.
"Mommy talaga..."
When she came back, she showed me her shopping bags and I was amazed when she told me she bought dresses for me.
"I saw these and thought of you, sa Singapore namin 'to nabili ng Dad mo, anak." She said and winked. "Parang mahihimatay nga ang Tatay mo no'ng natantong mga sexy 'tong damit pero wala siyang magagawa." Aniya kaya nagkatawanan kami.
We were both preoccupied with the dresses and clothes, lalo na dahil halos parehas ang binili ni Mommy para sa aming dalawa at ang kulay lang ang iba para daw kambal and it made me happy, remembering how the both of us dressed-up before. Kapag kulot siya ay gano'n din ako.
If she wears a cute outfit, I will be wearing one too identical to hers tapos magpi-picture kaming dalawa, walang pakialam kung makatulog pa ang Dad at si Chiel kakaantay sa aming dalawa na matapos.
"Oh, oh! And I bought some make-ups too!" she said in glee, "nakita naman namin 'to nina Tita Nat at Tita Ally mo sa...wait, what is that?"
We both froze when we realized we can smell something burning.
"Shit! The freaking adobo!" Mom exclaimed and we gasped, mabilis na nagtatatakbo pabalik sa niluluto namin at pinatay ang kalan. The moment Mom opened it, kumalat kaagad ang usok kaya napangiwi kami at nagpaypay.
"OMG." My eyes widen when I realized our Adobo is almost draining, wala na ang sarsa kaya ngumuso ako. "That...looks okay, My. How about we take a taste?"
"Well, okay." Mom pouted and sighed, "naku naman, nakalimutan ko ang niluluto natin."
She took two spoons, amoy sunog ang adobo pero mukhang okay naman kaya sabay kaming kumuha ng sarsa na natira para tumikim.
The moment the spoon touched my lips, the salty taste spread inside my mouth like a virus kaya sabay kaming naubo ni Mommy at napahawak sa lalamunan.
"That's..." Mom coughed harder.
"P-poison!" I said and we both ran towards the dispenser para kumuha ng tubig.
Bumuntonghininga kami ni Mom at nakagat niya ang labi, "but maybe...mawala ang alat kapag may kanin?"
Parang may bumbilyang lumiwanag sa utak ko roon kaya napatango ako, "that's right!" I said kaya sabay kaming lumapit sa sinasaing na kanin ni Mommy.
Pinatay niya ang kalan at parehas kaming kinakabahan nang buksan niya ang takip, umaasang ayos ang kanin pero nang tusukin ni Mommy ay parang lugaw lang iyon ay napatikhim siya, nagkatinginan kami at awkward na nag-ngitian.
"How...about a take out?" Mom asked and pointed me.
"Yes, I'm in." I said and pointed her back kaya nagkatawanan na kaming dalawa.
It was epic but it made me super happy. Mom even told me she was staying for the night kaya pinahiram ko siya ng terno pantulog at twinning kaming dalawa.
Like a kid, I jumped on the bed and she laughed, she tapped her side at habang nanunuod ng TV ay dali-dali akong humiga sa may braso niya at yumakap.
"Mommy, I love you."
"Hmm, my princess is so sweet." She hummed gently and brushed my hair. "I love you too, Crest. Mommy loves my kikay twin so much."
It made my heart pound, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero habang nakayakap kay Mommy ay para akong bumalik sa pagkabata, noong panahong nasa elementary pa lang ako. I missed hugging her, I missed it when she brushes my hair, I missed how she will tell us stories to bed that I found myself tearing up.
I sniffed and I felt how my Mom froze when he heard it.
"Crest—"
"D-don't..." I muttered and hugged her more, burying my face on her neck. "M-mommy, Mommy...I miss you."
"Oh, God..." Mom said softly, saglit siyang gumalaw para hinaan ang TV at mayamaya'y inanagat na niya ang mukha ko. "Hey, baby, what's the matter, hmm? Tingin ka kay Mommy."
"A-ayaw..." I shook my head, sniffing, afraid my Mom would see how vulnerable I look right now.
"No, hey, Crest, look at Mommy, okay? It's okay..." she said gently but I shook my head.
"N-no, ayaw..." I said but Mom is persistent, mabilis niya akong inangat sa braso niya at inalalayan paupo. Dali-dali ko namang tinakpan ang mukha ko para 'di niya makita but she gently took it off and touched my cheek.
"Hey, Crest, baby." She called softly, "it's okay, it's Mommy Thallia, hmm? You can tell me everything. Are you having a hard time?"
I glanced at her eyes and saw that she's also in the verge of crying too.
"You can...tell me everything." Her eyes swelled. "It's Mommy, baby. Are you hurt? May...pinagdadaanan ka ba? Tell me, it's okay. Mommy will listen."
"I—" I sniffed. "I-I'm so sorry, Mommy. S-sorry kasi ang kulit ko at umalis. H-h'wag na kayo magalit sa'kin, please..."
"Oh..." she shook her head. "Listen, my princess. Mommy isn't mad, okay? We are worried but I understand now. Your Dad isn't mad too, we were just worried about you vanishing like that. Y-you know we have a lot of enemies, right?"
I slowly nodded and she sighed, nakita kong mas namungay ang mata niya.
"Your Dad and I was so worried of you...your Dad, anak, he's almost crying when he couldn't find you. He's so ready to look for you whatever it takes kaya...pasensya na kasi napagtaasan ka niya ng boses, hmm?" lambing niya. "We are just so scared of losing you kaya hindi na nakapagpigil ang Daddy mo sa galit niya. What he said...nadala lang iyon sa nararamdaman niya."
"S-sorry po..." I sobbed, "s-sorry for being selfish, alam ko pong gusto ko lang naman silang bilhan ng d-dried mangoes kaso s-sumobra po ako. S-sorry, My..."
"It's okay...it's okay, honey." She cupped my cheek. "P-people commit mistakes, okay? And it's okay to make one but it's necessary to improve and do your best not to do it again. H'wag mo uulitin. It's okay...hindi na kami galit ni Dad mo, ayos na. I apologize for his words, baby. Nag-alala lang kami, sobrang nag-alala lang siya sa'yo kasi mahal na mahal ka namin."
"S-sorry, My..." I muttered. "S-sorry kasi hindi po a-ako magaling na anak, s-sorry po kasi hindi po ako m-matalino, k-kung hindi po ako kagaya nina C-Chiel. G-ginagawa ko naman po 'yong best ko p-pero mahirap, My. S-sana po h-hindi na kayo galit sa'kin k-kasi po masakit 'yong heart ko...hindi ko po kaya, My. M-mahapdi po 'yong heart ko." I pointed my chest.
It broke me more when I saw my Mom crying now, with me, tuloy-tuloy na nahulog na ang luha niya habang umiiling sa akin.
"N-no, don't say that...magaling ka, anak. Mommy is proud of you. You're the best, okay?" she hummed.
"N-no, My. I'm not smart po, I-I'm always disappointing everyone." I muttered and her eyes swelled more, mabilis siyang lumapit at niyakap ako ng mahigpit kaya mas napaiyak na ako.
"Shh...no, princess. You are not, sorry...a-are we pressuring you?" marahang bulong niya pero umiyak lang ako at mas humigpit ang yakap sa kanya.
"M-my...am I stupid?" I asked softly, "b-bobo po ba ako?"
"What? No!" she said, mabilis na lumayo para sapuin ang mukha ko at tumitig. "You are not stupid, anak. P-please...please don't think like that."
"K-kasi po, My, w-wala pa po akong na-a-achieve, kasi po h-hindi po ako magaling. B-bumagsak po ako dati sa school tapos nahuli sa pag-graduate. T-tapos po, kaunti na lang thirty na ako p-pero wala pa akong na-a-achieve sa buhay ko kagaya po s-sa mga kapatid ko." I said, like I was ranting, telling her the things that's been bothering me.
"And?" she asked me softly and stared at me intently, umiiyak na rin. "Tell me everything, princess. I will listen to you, okay? Mommy will listen, it's okay. I love you."
"M-mommy, n-no'ng college po hindi po ako nag-cheat." I sobbed. "I-I studied well po t-tapos they framed me up po, I-I didn't mean to disappoint you. Kayo ni Dad. G-gusto ko po maging proud kayo sa akin k-kaya 'di ko po magagawa 'yon..."
"Gosh..." Mom sniffed and touched my cheek. "S-sorry, anak. We're so sorry. S-sorry for failing you, s-sorry for pressuring you."
And like kids, we both cried, Mom looks devastated while seeing me like that. She's shaking and covering her face kaya niyakap ko ang baywang niya.
"I-I am not a good mother, s-sorry...sorry." She muttered and I shook my head, hugging her. "I-I felt like we're giving you enough attention by giving you everything you w-want pero h-hindi pala...na kulang pa rin, na k-kulang na kulang ang binibigay namin sa'yo."
Mariing ipinikit ko ang mata ko at si Mom ay mas suminghap.
"S-sorry, Crest. S-sorry, anak ko. I-I told myself when I became a mother, I won't be like my Mom, Cynthia. I-I told myself I won't pressure them, t-that I wouldn't ever let them feel left out and alone but unconsciously, I became just like her...sa'yo." She lifted her hand and pulled me softly towards her and I buried my face on her neck while she's telling me things. "I-I'm so sorry for being mum and letting you do everything you like, a-akala namin ay napaparamdam namin sa'yo ang p-pagmamahal but we are so wrong.
"W-we made you think that way, we kept silent instead of telling you na ayos lang na hindi ka magaling sa kahit ano. We made you feel left out, to feel inferior than your siblings. Sorry for not telling you that there's no need to prove yourself to us because we're proud of y-you...wala ka pang ginagawa." She sobbed.
"My..." I sobbed more.
"I-I was so blinded of the fact of a perfect family with your father k-kasi wala akong gano'n, anak. My father and mother weren't there for me and I'm alone k-kaya masyado akong na-overwhelm sa pamilya natin na nakita ko lang kayong masaya ay ayos na, h-hindi ko man lang inalam ang nasa loob niyo, napabayaan ko na ang pakiramdam mo. I always thought that there are no perfect parents but I tend to forget na there's no such thing as perfect children." She whispered. "Hey, look at me."
Gently, she lifted my face and touched my cheek with her thumb. Her eyes are bloodshot too resembling mine, it was filled with pain and worry but despite that, I saw how strong she is. She looks like she'll break down but trying to be composed to talk to me.
"A-anak ko, Crest Veronica, ayos lang na hindi ka magaling sa kahit ano. Ayos lang na wala ka pang naa-achieve pa because I believe na darating iyon sa tamang panahon. D-don't rush things, okay? H-hindi ka bobo, you are smart in your own way. You have a lot of amazing talents and you'll find what you love soon. D-dito lang kami ng Dad mo para sa'yo and we loved you all dearly, pantay-pantay at malalim. Kayong tatlo...kayong tatlo ang buhay namin ni Iñigo."
And I broke down, nakatulog akong yakap si Mommy noong gabi, tila batang nakahiga sa braso niya habang sinusuklayan niya ako ng buhok. The last thing I heard is her, telling me how much she loves me, that she's proud of me accompanied by a soft lullaby.
She had to go earlier to help on our grandparent's ancestral house dahil may simpleng get together kami ulit kami, Mommy advised na I should rest first before going before kissing me goodbye.
Of course, I wanted to fix myself first before going there for my cousins not to see me this way. Ayaw kong mapansin nilang umiyak ako kagabi dahil nakilala nila akong masaya and hope it'll remain that way.
Lunch pa naman ako pupunta kaya maaga pa lang ay lumabas na ako ng condo ko para mag-ikot at saglit na maglibang. My talk last night with my Mom definitely lifted something off my chest and it feels good kagaya no'ng sabi ni Kuya vendor.
Dahil sarado pa ang malalaking malls, I looked around some small shops nearby to at least buy some pasalubongs for my cousins. Habang naghahanap ako ay may nakita akong isa sa reopening ng isa sa favorite jewelry shop ko outside the mall.
Hindi sana ako papasok dahil wala naman akong pambili when the manager saw me and waved at me.
"Ma'am Crest!" he called and I almost cursed when our eyes met, nakita ko ang pagkamangha sa mata niya kaya ngumiti ako.
"Hey, Jiggy." I greeted as if I am shock, tinanggal ko pa ang shades at nanlaki ang bahagya.
"Naku, our sassy Madame! We missed you here!" he exclaimed. "Soft opening namin ngayon at kakatapos lang ng renovation! Tara, pasok ka muna! You can check and try our finest jewelries!"
"Uh, no—"
"Naku naman si Madame, come on! Parang 'di ka naman suki noon, bakit may bago ka na bang favorite na jewelry store?" he asked kaya natawa na ako at nailing.
"No...not really." I smiled, "I'm just a bit busy." I explained, afraid I might get tempted to buy a new ring or necklace tapos hindi ko rin mabibili kasi 'di sapat ang pera ko.
I don't want to spend Dad's money on my credit card and...I have no enough savings to buy a fancy jewelry kahit gugustuhin ko.
"Sige na, please?" he smiled.
"But I won't buy a thing, okay?" I explained, "I have some jewelries at home, still unused."
He pouted, kitang-kita ko ang pulang lipstick niyang nagliliwanag bago tumango.
"That's new but alright, check ka lang or look around. Malay mo at mapabili ka pa." He said kaya natawa na ako.
He assisted me inside, kitang-kita ko ang gulat sa mga mata ng mga tauhan ng makita ako.
"Ma'am! Long time no see, ang ganda mo!" They greeted and I smiled sweetly.
"Hello, thank you! Nice seeing you again!"
"Ganda naman ng damit mo, Madame? Saan mo nabili?" the lady asked and I chuckled and glanced at my clothes.
"Oh, it's from Dior." I said and I saw them gasped and nodded kaya ngumiti lang ako.
"Madame, tara." Ani Jiggy at pinapasok ako sa VIP room pero kaagad akong natigilan nang makita si Jellie at Samantha kasama ang isang attendant na ipinapakita sa kanila ang mga jewelry.
It was Sam who saw me first, she's been trying an earring at kaagad na sumama ang tingin niya sa akin. I saw her bumped Jellie a bit at mayamaya'y napabaling na sila sa akin.
I saw them scoffed and I didn't mind them, instead, sumunod ako sa manager na si Jiggy na nakataas ang noo, walang pakialam sa kanilang dalawa.
"Madame, look. This one's made in Brazil, itong store lang namin ang may ganito." Aniya kaya ngumiti ako. "Try this out."
My eyes twinkled when I saw Moussaeieff's famous blue diamond necklace, I've been eyeing that necklace for too long because it's really pretty pero super mahal kaya ilag ako at baka hindi na talaga ako tanggapin ni Daddy sa pamilya.
"Wow...this looks pretty!" I muttered and he nodded at me happily. Sinusuot sa akin ang kwintas at kaagad na na-excite ako.
Damn...I love jewelries. I love fashion, I love everything!
"Yes, Madame! Bagay na bagay pa sa suot mong damit! It has the same color and for a high-maintenance and sassy girl like you, nothing's more deserving than an expensive diamond."
"Galing mag-sales talk, Jiggy, ah?" I muttered and he chuckled and nodded.
"Bilhin mo na kasi..." he teased. "It's you I've been eyeing to buy this one, lalo na at nasa aming finest collection. I rarely let people see these pero kapag ikaw, gora kaagad."
"Sus, I told you already..." I said, sumusulyap sa salamin at hinahaplos ang necklace na bagay na bagay sa suot ko. "I won't buy for now since I'm busy and you know? Medyo changed person na ako now."
Jiggy chuckled and nodded.
"Hey, excuse me...what is that? Hindi bagay sa pinagsusuotan mo, wala kang taste." I heard Jellie asked kaya nagulat ako at napasulyap at nakita sila ni Sam na nasa may gilid.
"How much? Bibilhin ko na." Sam said, mayabang ang mga mata habang tinitignan ako. "Mukhang walang pera 'yang ino-offeran mo. I think she's just around her to make her look so rich."
"Oh, hi, Madame." He smiled. "This one from Madame Crest costs 2.5 Million Dollars."
I saw their eyes widen, napatikhim naman si Sam kaya marahang tinanggal ko ang necklace sa leeg ko at ngumiti sa kanya.
"Wow, what a rich lady. Bibilhin mo?" I smirked. "2.5M Dollars, huh? Jigs, she wants this, balutin niyo na..." I gently took the necklace back to him.
"Wow! Bibilhin mo, Madame?" I saw Jiggy's smile widened and I almost flashed a smirk when Sam panicked.
"Uh...no, ano...hindi naman pala kagandahan." Sam frowned while staring at the necklace kaya natawa na ako.
Her sharp eyes immediately landed on me, si Jellie ay masama na ang tingin sa akin kanina pa.
"Really? That's Moussaeieff's. People who sees that would definitely loved it, looks like wala kang taste." I smiled coldly.
"Oh? Eh, bakit hindi mo bilhin?" Jellie frowned at me. "Palibhasa kasi wala ka ng pera, tinataboy ka na siguro ng Dad mo kasi wala kang kwenta—"
"Oh, don't spit back at me, Jellie." I smiled. "It was Sam who's saying she'll buy that then go...that's all yours."
"Bibilhin ko!" Sam said, "akala mo hindi ko kaya, ah? Bibilhin ko!" she glanced at Jiggy, showing her cards kaya ngumiti ako.
"Oh, enjoy." I said.
"Ang kapal..." Sam gasped but I just smirked, shrugged and turned my back at her.
Ang attendant na nag-aasikaso sa kanila ni Sam kanina ay pumunta na sa akin, I saw Jiggy showing the necklace to Sam and letting her sign some papers. Si Jellie ay nakairap pero wala na akong pakialam kaya 'di ko na binigyan ng pansin.
I loved the necklace but maybe...that isn't for me so, alright.
I focused into trying some other jewelries, I had fun staring at myself in the mirror with the twinkling and shiny jewelries on.
A Harry Winston cushion-cut sapphire and diamond necklace, with matching earrings made my eyes sparkle but it costs 3.8M Dollars so nah, my Dad would probably have a heart attack if I bought these.
"Ah, salamat, Miss." I smiled. "These are beautiful but I have to go since my meeting pa ako with my family." I said, removing the earrings and the necklace and gave it back to her.
"Sige, Ma'am. Salamat po, bagay na bagay sa inyo ang jewelries." She even said kaya nagpasalamat na ako.
I asked her where the restroom is para sana makapag-ayos ako at tinuro niya sa akin iyon kaya pumasok ako. I fixed my hair first and my make-up, pagkalabas ko ay nakita ko pang umiiling si Jiggy kay Samantha.
"Sorry, Ma'am. Hindi kaya ng cards mo. Hindi rin pumapasok ang transactions." Jiggy said.
"Then try again!" Sam hissed. "Ito, try mo." She even gave her other cards and everything is rejected.
I raised my brow and she scoffed when she saw me. Si Jellie ay nakasandal, nakasimangot sa akin.
"Thanks," I told the girl who assisted me na parang may hinahanap pa roon. She looks confused kaya hinayaan ko na lang at dumiretso na palabas ng VIP room.
I fixed my hand bag, diretsong palabas nang banggain ako mula sa likod. I was startled when I saw Jellie, kumunot ang noo ko roon pero ngumisi lang siya.
"Opps...sorry, nakaharang ka kasi." She smiled kaya hindi ko na lang siya pinagtuunan ng pansin dahil nagmamadali na ako.
I was about to go out of the jewelry store when the sensors alarmed. Nagulat ako roon, kaagad kong sinulyapan ang kamay ko kung may bracelet ba, hinawakan ang leeg at tainga pero wala kaya nagtaka na ako.
"Ma'am..." ani ng guard na humarang sa akin kaya napakurap ako.
"Po?" I asked, confused.
"Pa-check po ng bag." Aniya kaya tumango na ako, hindi natatakot dahil wala naman akong tinatago.
I saw the lady who assisted me went out with Jiggy. Napansin kong naiiyak na ang babae at si Jigs ay kunot ang noo at pinagmamasdan ako.
"Anong mayro'n, Kuya?" he asked the guard.
"Ah, Sir, nag-alarm po ang sensor. Check ko lang ang bag ni Ma'am." Aniya at nakita ko ang paglabas din ni Jellie at Sam.
Sam looks like she'll cry or something pero may sinabi sa kanya si Jellie at lumiwanag ang mukha niya at nang-uuyam akong tinignan.
"Wala naman akong nilabas," I said, medyo kinakabahan na rin. "Is there something wrong?" I asked, confused but to my shock, I saw the guard gasped.
He took something out of my bag and my eyes literally widened when I saw the Harry Winston necklace!
"I don't...my God, why is it there?" I exclaimed in shock.
"Oh, I see..." Jellie smirked at me, "I wasn't that shock anymore. Naghihirap na kasi, paspasang galawan."
I shook my head, my heart pounded harder and my breath labored.
"Jigs, I swear I'd never take that—"
"Huling-huli ka na sa akto." Sam smirked, I noticed her raising a phone and smiled. "She has a history of stealing, wallet. She's a known klepto."
"That wasn't' true!" I gasped. "It was a false accusation! And I'd never steal—"
"Uh-huh, don't believe her. She'll do anything to have things like that." Jellie smirked. "Desperate bitch, hindi ka man lang naawa sa kanila rito!"
"I didn't!" my eyes widen, "Jigs! I know you know na hindi ako ganyan!" I defended but then Jigs shook his head and sighed, lowering his head in disappointment.
My heart ache, I saw how the people who looked up to me at this shop is showing me their disappointed and disgusted look. Umiiyak na rin ang attendant kaya mas suminghap ako.
"I swear...I didn't." I said desperately but no one believed me, napasinghap na ako nang maramdaman ang hawak ng guard sa kamay ko at napasinghap na ako at nagpumiglas nang lagyan niya ako ng posas.
"I didn't! No, I won't steal! I will call my Attorney!" I defended myself but no one seems to care anymore.
"Nah...anak ng abogado pero ganyan. Nakakahiya ka naman talaga." Jellie smirked and raised her camera too. "Look everyone. Bobo na nga, tanga pa."
"Lower that down!" I exclaimed loudly.
"Oh, I can already imagine Attorney Sandejas' face when he finds out his bratty and stupid daughter is stealing a million dollar jewelry. Crest Veronica, what a disgrace. Magnanakaw." She smirked evilly.
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