Kabanata 15
Kabanata 15
"WHAT—"
"Illusyunada kang gaga ka!" I exclaimed loudly and slapped her cheek.
Tumili siya bigla at hindi ako nakaiwas nang mabilis niyang dakmain ang buhok ko at hinila. I heard people approaching but I don't care.
"How dare you punch me?!" sigaw niya at hinila ang buhok ko.
I gasped and groaned, I lifted my other hand, fisted her hair and pulled it more harshly hanggang sa tumitili na siya.
"Anong—security! Tumawag kayong security!" I heard someone screaming.
"Let me go! Why are you hurting me—"
"My family is mine!" I exclaimed loudly and pushed her pero muli niyang nahaltak ang buhok ko. My scalp hurts, suminghap ako at naramdaman ang pagkakahulog ng buhok mula sa bun.
"Ang damot mo! I was just talking to them—you selfish—"
"Kung sa 'yo ko lang din ibibigay ang pamilya ko, hindi bale na!" I screamed back at her.
Nakita ko ang pagdilim ng mata niya lalo. She pushed me kaya napaatras ako pero hindi ko tuluyang nabitawan ang kanyang buhok kaya nahatak ko siya pabalik.
"A-aray! Help me!" she screamed like a helpless kid.
"Miss Sandejas!" Narinig ko ang sigawan, bahagya akong napalingon sa gilid at nakita na pinapalibutan na kami. Some have their phones up to record and my forehead creased.
"Diyos ko! Tumawag kayong security!" they screamed.
"Nakakahiya naman! Akala ko ba good girl?" Hindi nakaligtas iyon sa pandinig ko kaya habang sinasabunutan ko si Lilah ay bumaling ako sa babaeng iyon.
"Mama mo, good girl!" I hissed at her but before I even saw her reaction, nakalmot na ni Lilah ang braso ko.
I gasped in pain, dahil sa hapdi ay bahagya kong nabitawan ang buhok niya kaya nagkaroon siya ng pagkakataon para itulak ako. Because of the heels I am wearing, I lost my balance.
Napapikit ako sa sakit nang tumama ang balakang ko sa lapag.
"Ang sama-sama mo!" She exclaimed and I was skeptical when I saw her crying. "I-I was just talking to the Captain tapos sasaktan mo ako!"
"What the hell..." I muttered at napahawak sa aking balakang.
She sniffed, looking around. "I-I didn't do anything, nagulat na lang ako kasi sinaktan niya ako—"
"You bitch!" Hindi na ako nakatimpi at mabilis na tumayo sa lapag, I pulled her hair and fisted it. tumili siya at sinubukang hagilapin din ang buhok ko pero hindi ko siya pinagbigyan.
Anger consumed me, naitulak ko siya at nang bumagsak kami sa lapag ay walang pakialam na sinampal ko siya.
"How dare you—"
"Help! Help, she's hurting me!" She screamed and tried to scratch me again pero 'di na ako papatalo.
I heard the approaching guards, naramdaman ko ang paghawak nito sa braso ko kasabay ng tilian ng ibang tao pero hindi ako nagpadala.
"Let me go!" I screamed aggressively and pushed them away and focused my attention on Lilah again.
"Help!" She cried and I was on the verge of scratching her back when a voice echoed.
"Darshana Sandejas!" My father's voice thundered and I froze on the spot, naiwan sa ere ang kamay ko at kaagad na napalingon at nakita ang Papa na nakatayo.
His face is dark, kunot ang kanyang noo at nakaigting ang panga. He was composed, not letting his expression show but I know him. He was mad.
"Darshana!" Nakita ko ang pagdating ng Kuya, natulala ako nang marinig ang hagulhol ni Lilah sa lapag.
"Sir—"
"Let go of my sister!" mariing sinabi ni Kuya at nagitla ako nang siya ang humila sa akin patayo at palayo kay Lilah.
The security guards helped the crying bitch instead, kumuyom ang kamay ko nang makita ang panginginig ng bruha at pagtakip sa kanyang labi.
"W-wala naman po akong ginawa..." she cried hysterically.
"Anong wala?!" I screamed out loud but Kuya pulled me back to him.
"Darshana," Isang prenteng sabi lang ni Papa ay natahimik na ako.
I saw his blazing and enraged eyes staring intently at me at kaagad akong umiling.
"P-pa, I didn't—"
"You two, in my office. Now," Mariing sabi niya at tumalikod mula sa akin at nauna na sa 'min.
Inalalayan ng security guards si Lilah, nakita ko ang mapanghusgang tingin sa akin ng mga tao sa airport pero wala na akong pakialam sa kanilang opinyon.
What matters the most now is telling my side to my father.
Nakaalalay si Kuya sa akin na tahimik din at kunot ang noo, nilingon ko siya at nang makita ang seryoso niyang mukha ay nangilid na ang luha ko.
"K-kuya, I don't..." I shook my head. He sighed.
"It's not what I saw, Darshana," malamig niyang sabi sa akin at napalunok na ako.
"N-nauna siya..." I explained but he just looked at me and shook his head again, bumagsak lang ang balikat ko nang hindi na siya nagsalita at ipinasok ako sa opisina ni Papa.
The guards left the crying Delilah on the couch, inalalayan din ako ng Kuya paupo sa kaharap no'n at pumunta sa may pantry ng opisina ni Papa. My father is on his table, nakita ko ang pagsandal niya sa kanyang lamesa at pagbaling sa amin.
The best actress is still sobbing on the side, nagtiim-bagang naman ako para ikalma ang sarili. I pinched my fingers and lowered my head, sighing to control my breathing.
Relax, Darshana. You can do it. Calm down.
Lumabas ang Kuya mula sa pantry, I saw him holding two glasses of water. Kumunot ang noo ko nang ibigay niya ang isa kay Lilah na humihikbi pa rin.
"S-salamat, Cap," she muttered like a weakling and sniffed, nanginginig pa ang kamay.
I was shaking too, deep inside. Gusto kong sumigaw at magwala pero hindi ko magawa sa takot na mas magalit ang Papa sa akin.
"Here." Kuya then sat beside me and offered me the other glass na kaagad kong kinuha mula sa kanya at ininom.
Iniabot ko sa kanya iyon pabalik at inayos ang buhok kong sabog na dahil sa away namin ni Lilah. Nilingon ko si Papa at nakita siyang nakasulyap sa akin, malamig ang mga mata.
I know my father so well that I know what his eyes are telling me. He's disappointed. He definitely is, with me.
Papa sighed, brushing his hair frustratedly. Sumandal siya sa lamesa at ang pagbaling kay Lilah.
"What happened, Miss Vicente?" aniyang pormal doon.
"She suddenly punched me—"
"I did not!" I exclaimed loudly. "You told me—"
"Did I ask for you, young miss?" malamig na sabi ni Papa kaya natigilan na ako.
"P-pa..." I trailed off. He shook his head.
"Speak when I asked you to, Miss Sandejas." Malamig niyang sabi bago bumaling kay Lilah at tumango. "What is it?"
She sniffed, hinawi niya ang magulong buhok at nakita ko ang namumula niyang mukha.
"Lumapit po ako sa kanya, Captain, tapos I asked her what's the matter since napansin kong may iba sa reaksyon niya. Then she..." She sniffed. "She asked me what I was doing inside your office and I said may ibinigay lang pong pinabibigay ni Ma'am."
I was stunned by her story. That's definitely not what fucking happened!
"T-tapos bigla po siyang nagalit. I-I don't know why, s-sabi niya inaagaw ko raw po ang pamilya niya sa kanya and she suddenly punched and pulled my hair—"
"Sinungaling ka!" I exclaimed loudly, standing from my seat, susugurin na sana siya pero muli akong nahila pabalik ni Kuya.
"Darshana!" Papa shouted and I stopped, glancing at him, shaking my head.
"S-she's lying, Papa! S-sabi niya sa akin na sinabi mo raw—"
"Sit down, Darshana Astrea!" his voice roared but I shook my head more desperately. Kinukuha ni Kuya ang braso ko pero hindi ako nagpapaawat.
Gusto kong ipaglaban ang side ko!
"Daru!" Kuya hissed.
"Let me go, Kuya!" I exclaimed and pulled my hand from him. "Papa, listen to me. She told me you wanted her to be your daughter instead of me!"
Kumunot ang noo ni Papa roon.
"H-hindi 'yan totoo!" Delilah exclaimed. "T-tama na ang paninira mo sa akin, Darshana!" She sobbed.
I glared and pointed at her.
"You shut your fucking mouth, Delilah! It's you who's lying! You told me—"
"You keep on bullying me!" Delilah hissed and cried louder, shaking her head. "P-palagi niya po akong inaaway, Captain—hindi lang po ako nagsasabi—"
"Shut up, you lying bitch!" Nawalan na ako ng pasensya roon. "Sawang-sawa na akong makinig sa kasinungalingan mo—"
"Darshana! Watch your words!" Papa exclaimed and my tears fell, hinarap ko siya at suminghap.
"Yes, Papa. I curse a lot! I am no good girl! I am not perfect, okay?!" I exclaimed. "A-and this woman is lying! Y-yes, yes, I punched her but she told me—"
"You're lying, Darshana!" Delilah cried hysterically. "H-hindi ko 'yan magagawa sa 'yo, y-you're my only friend here t-tapos pagbibintangan mo ako—"
"Shut up, Delilah! I don't need your fucking lies!" I exclaimed loudly.
"I don't—"
"Shut up, you two!" Natahimik na ako nang dumagundong ang boses ni Papa, kasabay ng paghampas niya sa lamesa. Tumilapon ang iilang papel doon at mas suminghap ako.
"Pa—"
"I never taught you it's okay to hurt someone, Darshana," malamig na sabi sa akin ni Papa.
"Pero siya—"
"We'll talk later," aniyang seryoso sa akin. "Now, apologize to Miss Vicente."
My heart stopped.
"W-what?" My voice trembled.
"I won't tell you this again. Apologize, young miss," he said seriously and I gasped, laughing a bit.
"A-are you serious—"
"Yes, I am," seryoso niyang sabi sa akin. "Apologize for hurting her—"
"She hurt me too but she never apologized!" I exclaimed.
"Darshana..." Kuya tried calming me down pero hinila ko ang siko at hinarap ang Papa.
"Bakit ako ang hihingi ng tawad?" I asked, sniffing. "B-bakit siya pinapakinggan mo t-tapos ako—"
"We'll talk later, Darshana," aniyang seryoso pero umiling lang ako roon at hinawi ang luha ko.
"D-don't you think it's unfair, Papa? N-na ako ang naagrabyado rito p-pero ako ang hihingi ng tawad?" I scoffed.
"You punched her, Darshana," he explained. "And I'm asking you to own up to your mistakes and apologize, mag-uusap tayo mamaya—"
"No!" I exclaimed loudly and shook my head. "You didn't ask for my side of the story! S-sa kanya pa lang ang narinig mo yet you're asking me to apologize and guess what, Papa? I won't!"
Mas dumilim ang kanyang mukha roon. Hinawi ko na lang ang luha ko at sinuklay ang buhok habang humihikbi. "Y-you don't listen to me..."
"Daru..." Kuya called pero mabilis ko lang hinawi ang kamay niya.
I took my bag on the couch, walang pagdadalawang-isip na kinuha iyon at iniwan sila roon.
I saw the shock from the people outside when they saw me going out, mabilis silang bumalik sa ginagawa kaya suminghap ako at inayos ang bag ko. Wala na akong pakialam sa kanilang iisipin sa akin, mabilis akong lumabas ng airport at papunta na sana sa sakayan nang may humawak sa braso ko.
I shifted my gaze and saw my serious brother behind me. Hinihingal pa siya dahil sa paghabol sa akin.
"Where are you going?" he asked seriously and I shook my head, biting my lip.
"I-I don't know... ayaw n'yo na rin naman sa akin ni Papa—"
"Pumunta ka sa bahay," aniya kaya natigilan na ako.
"Why would I—"
"For Pete's sake, Darshana, makinig ka naman sa akin!" he hissed and I bit my lip when he raised his voice at me. "Mag-usap kayo ni Papa, try and fix this mess. Mama will be devastated if she found out you two fought."
"S-sa sunod na, papalamigin ko muna ulo ni Papa. I'll stay in my condo for now—"
"And what? Stay with that man of yours?" mariing sabi niya. "Who was that man, anyway? I haven't seen his face—"
"J-just let me deal with it, okay?" I said calmly and sighed. "I-I'm sorry for raising my voice, Kuya. I'm sorry for not going home last night." I lowered my head to show him I was sincere. "It's my fault, I'm sorry..."
"I'm sorry too for shouting," he sighed. Lumambot ang puso ko nang i-angat niya ang kamay at ayusin ng bahagya ang buhok ko. "Are you hurt? Let's go to the clinic to fix your scratches, mag-usap na lang kayo ni Papa. Dapat kasi ay humingi ka na lang ng pasensya at nag-usap kayo ng maayos."
"I-I don't want..." I said stubbornly. "And I'll never apologize to that bitch."
"Words, Darshana!" Tumiim ang panga niya kaya suminghap ako at nagbaba ng tingin.
"Sorry... ayaw ko sa clinic, Kuya. Ayos lang ako," marahang sabi ko kaya bumuntonghininga lang siya at tumango.
"Alright, but listen to me. Go to the house and stay there until you two talk. Papa will be there for dinner, ako rin. Mag-usap kayong dalawa."
"Kuya... is Papa mad at me?" I asked and his forehead creased.
"I don't know, but you two should talk."
"No... I mean, bago pa kasi 'yong amin ni Lilah, he was so cold and I hugged him." My voice quivered. "I-I greeted him good morning tapos he said he was busy and he left me there..."
"What?" Kumunot ang noo niya. "I don't know anything about that, I never told him about your boy kaya sabihin mo na bago pa ako ang magsabi, Darshana."
I slowly nodded, nahulog na naman ang luha ko kaya hinawi ko iyon at suminghap.
"S-sorry, Kuya..." I muttered.
He sighed and pulled me for a hug, napasinghap ako roon at hinaplos niya lang ang buhok ko.
"It's okay, just... mag-usap kayo ng maayos na dalawa. I know we both got this temper from him kaya alam kong maiintindihan mong mabilis maputol ang pasensya ni Papa. Go home to our house for now and... utang na loob, h'wag ka munang makipagkita sa kung sino mang lalaking 'yon habang 'di mo pa naaayos ito."
"O-okay..." I nodded and sniffed.
"Go home and rest, ako na ang bahala sa flight mo ngayon."
Ipinara ako ni Kuya ng taxi pauwi sa amin, nang maayos na ako at at saka siya umalis. Habang nasa biyahe ay tulala lang ako habang inaayos ang magulo kong buhok.
Habang nagsusuklay ng mahabang buhok sa taxi ay sumisinghot ako kaya lingon ng lingon sa akin ang driver.
"Ayos lang kayo, Ma'am?" aniya kaya marahan akong tumango at maliit na ngumiti.
"O-opo, pasensya na, Kuya," I said softly.
Tumunog ang phone ko at kaagad na lumambot ang puso ko nang makita ang mensahe ni Chance.
From: Baby boy
How are you? Kumain sa tamang oras, baby doll. Just call me if you need anything. I love you.
To: Baby boy
Okay po! I love you too <3
From: Baby boy
Susunduin kita mamaya, anong oras nga ulit ang out mo? Let's have dinner.
To: Baby boy
H'wag na, susunduin daw ako ni Kuya, eh. Will text you na lang later, baka sa bahay muna ako matulog ngayon at miss na raw ako ni Dette. Kain ka rin sa tamang oras, baby boy.
From: Baby boy
Okay, I'll miss you too. Walang mukbang, sayang :(((((
It made me laugh, nakagat ko ang labi at suminghot pa.
To: Baby boy
Next time, baby boy. Pangmalakas pa 😏
From: Baby boy
Looking forward to the mukbang session, doll. I'll eat you hard and you'll never moan anything but my name.
To: Baby boy
You're bastos! Pero hihihi excited ne eke.
From: Baby boy
😙 😙 😙 (oh, this is emoji, I see. It's cute.)
Natawa ako sa kanya at napailing nang biglang tumunog ang phone ko ulit.
From: Baby boy
Eirene said it's a kissing emoji 😙 and I sent you some, where's my kiss? Give me a kiss back, doll.
Napatawa na ako lalo roon at muling napalingon ang driver sa akin at nangunot ang noo kaya tumikhim ako at umayos ng upo. Baka iniisip niyang baliw ako na kanina iiyak tapos tatawa na ngayon.
I really have to introduce him to my family. He deserves it. I don't want our relationship to be a secret anymore.
Pagkauwi ko ng bahay ay wala ang Mama at nasa university para sa klase niya. Si Dette lang ang naabutan ko na nasa bahay kasama ang kanyang Yaya kaya gumaan ang loob ko.
"Ate Daru! Ate! Ate!" she exclaimed loudly when she saw me.
Natawa na ako at dumukwang at inilahad ang kamay ko.
"Come on, come to Ate, Dette! Kiss!" I called and I chuckled in amusement when she ran towards me, muntik pa ngang madapa pero mabilis kong nasalo at pinatakan ng halik sa pisngi.
"Wow, ang bilis naman na mag-run ng baby ko!" I exclaimed happily. She giggled and hugged my nape.
"Ate, missyu!" she mumbled sweetly, making me smile wider. I stood while carrying her.
"Ma'am, napadaan po kayo?" ani ng Yaya ni Dette.
"Oo, eh. Walang flight," I told her instead.
Ngumiti siya at tumango pero natigilan din.
"Hala, Ma'am, may kalmot po kayo—"
"Ah, oo..." I smiled. "Nasabit lang, ako na magbantay kay Dette. P'wede pasuyo akong medicine kit, Ate?"
"Sure, Ma'am," aniya na ngumiti sa akin.
"Salamat po, nasa kwarto lang kami ni Dette." I smiled and took my sister inside my room in the house.
Napangiti ako nang makitang malinis ang kwarto ko kahit 'di ako madalas na nandito, marahang ibinaba ko si Dette sa kama at umikot siya roon na parang trumpo.
I grinned.
"You wanna sleep with ate, Dette?" I asked softly.
"Sleep, Ate! Opo!" she cheered.
I offered her my palm and she gave me a quick high five before pulling my hand to bite it kaya suminghap ako sa sakit pero natawa.
"Ang kulit talaga oo, hilig mo mangagat, ah?" I said and she shrieked when I tickled her.
While I was trying to mend my scratched and small wounds, Audette is blabbering about things. Minsan ay 'di ko siya maintindihan sa bilis ng salita niya but I know she's telling about her barbie dolls na kinuha raw ni Queen Scira sa kanya.
"...took barbies!" she exclaimed angrily, pinukpok pa ang suklay na ginagamit ko kanina sa kama at bumusangot kaya natawa na ako.
"Share-share lang kayo ng Barbies ni Queen, baby." I pinched her cheek. "Don't worry, kapag off ni Ate I will buy you more bears and Barbies, okay?"
I fell asleep with Dette beside me, sa kulitan naming dalawa ay sabay din kaming napagod kaya nakatulog siya sa braso ko.
I only woke up when I felt someone combing my hair, kaagad akong bumaling sa tabi ko at nanlaki ang mata nang 'di makita si Dette. Mabilis akong sa kabilang side at nanlaki ang mata nang makita ang naroon.
"Ma?" I called.
She smiled.
"Ang aga naman ng prinsesa ko," she said softly.
"Si Dette—"
"Oh, she's downstairs. Gusto raw maglaro kaya kinuha ng Yaya niya, she woke up when I got here," aniya. "Ikaw, bakit ka nandito? I didn't know you'll come home, sana pala ay maaga akong umalis sa university para nasamahan kita."
My heart softened. Tumitig ako sa kanya at wala sa sariling nagtanong.
"Ma, do you love me?" I asked her at kumunot naman ang noo ni Mama sa akin bago tumango.
"Of course, Daru. That's a silly question, what's the matter, princess?" aniya at inilagay ang buhok sa likod ng tainga ko kaya bumuntonghininga ako.
"Wala lang, Ma. If kunwari may ibang bata ang nandito, who would you choose to be your daughter?" I asked her seriously at mas nakita kong naguluhan siya roon pero sumagot.
"Of course you, Daru ko." She smiled at me. "Kahit ilang bata pa ang dumaan d'yan, kayo pa rin ang pipiliin ko ng mga kapatid mo. You, Macky, Dette and your Papa are my treasures. Kaya ako bumabangon kada umaga ay para sa pamilya ko, of course, I'll never trade my family for anyone or anything."
Nangilid ang luha ko, nagulat ata si Mama sa biglaan kong pagyakap sa kanya pero mabilis din akong niyakap pabalik.
"Oh, what's the matter? Do you have a problem, Daru?" she asked, her voice filled with concern. I shook my head.
"W-wala naman po," my voice broke. "It's just that... s-sana po, h'wag mo akong ipagpapalit sa ibang anak, ah?"
Natawa siya roon at mas niyakap ako.
"Of course not, if this is about the friend of yours calling me, Mama. Hayaan mo na, I let her call me Mama because she's your friend pero sa huli, ikaw pa rin, kayo pa rin nina Kuya at Dette ang mga anak ko."
Katatapos pa lang namin kumain nina Mama at Dette ng hapunan nang sabay na dumating ang Kuya at Papa galing trabaho.
Papa went inside the dining room with Kuya. I saw him kiss Mama and smiled. He kissed Dette, too. Nakagat ko ang labi at kumuyom ang kamay ko sa kaba sa kanya.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Papa, hindi ako makangiti at mukhang gano'n din siya.
"Go to the office, Darshana," aniyang seryoso bago tumalikod at umalis kaya nakurot ko na ang daliri.
"Anong mayro'n?" Mama asked, confused and glanced at me pero umiling lang ako. "Marcus?" she called Kuya instead but Kuya just smiled at her.
"They'll just talk, it's a misunderstanding. Tara, Ma," he called.
Mama glanced at me for a while pero nahihiyang nagbaba lang ako ng tingin sa kanya. She sighed and nodded, binuhat niya si Dette na ngumangatngat ng teether.
"Liz," she called Dette's Yaya. "Pasuyo muna ako kay Dette, punta lang ako sa opisina ni Dash."
"Okay, Ma'am." She smiled and took Dette who even smiled at me and raised her teether.
I smiled back at her.
"Pasuyo muna ako sa kusina, ah? Maraming salamat." Mama smiled and glanced at me, she offered her hand kaya kinakabahang kinuha ko iyon para pagkunan ng lakas.
Mama didn't ask me anything, alam kong alam niyang seryoso dahil sa opisina kami ni Papa pero hindi siya nagtanong sa akin habang naglalakad. Nang makarating naman kami sa tapat ng opisina ni Papa ay kumalabog na ang puso ko.
You can do it, Daru. Tell them everything, your side of the story.
"After you, ladies," ani Kuya na pinagbuksan kami ni Mama ng pintuan.
I sighed and bit my lip when I got inside, nakita ko si Papa na nakaupo sa kanyang swivel. Naupo ako sa sofa at si Mama ay pinisil ang kamay ko bago lumapit kay Papa.
Tahimik si Kuya Macky na nakasandal lang sa may pintuan at nagmamasid, sumulyap naman ako kina Mama at Papa at nakitang kunot ang noo ni Papa roon.
My mother went in front of him, dahil nakaupo si Papa ay tumingala siya kay Mama.
"What's the matter?" Mama asked softly and brushed his hair, si Papa naman ay saglit na umiling at kinuha ang kamay niya para saglit na halikan bago tumayo sa swivel.
He towered Mama and kissed her forehead before whispering something. I saw how my mother stopped for a while, nakita ko ang pagsulyap sa akin ni Mama kaya mas pumilantik sa kaba ang puso ko.
Lumayo si Mama sa kanya, si Papa naman ay may kinuhang kung ano sa bag niya bago naglakad patungo sa tapat ng kanyang table.
"Darshana," he called coldly and I slowly lifted my gaze at him and sighed. "What you did earlier wasn't a good thing."
Hindi ako nakasagot doon dahil alam kong may mali talaga akong nagawa.
"Fighting like that isn't good, lalo na at nasa publiko ka. Nasa airport tayo, Darshana," aniya. "We–you are respected there. They look up to you then you'd resort to that? Do you get what I am saying, young miss?"
I slowly nodded at him.
"And I asked you to apologize but you didn't, bukas na bukas din ay humingi ka ng tawad—"
"I'll never apologize to that woman, Papa," mariin kong sabi. "I'd never apologize, kahit pilitin n'yo ako."
He closed his eyes tightly, his jaw clenched. "Pinalaki ba kitang ganyan, Sandejas?" mariing sabi niya.
"Hindi po," I answered pero iba ang tono nito sa sobrang pagkikimkim ko. "You taught me how to be a good girl, hihingi ng patawad kapag may nagawang mali at ginagawa ko naman iyon, Pa. Pero Papa, hinding-hindi ako hihingi ng tawad sa mga bagay na ginusto kong gawin."
"You..." Humugot si Papa ng hininga at halos mahilot ang sentido.
"Daru..." Mama called pero tumayo ako sa sofa para magsalita.
"She did something to me first, I was explaining my side to you earlier pero hindi mo po ako pinapakinggan. I am trying to clear my name but you—"
"You started the fight first, Darshana," aniya. "Ayon ang sinabi ng lahat ng nakakita."
"Opo, I admit I was the one who started it pero may dahilan ako! Bakit hindi n'yo kasi ako pinapakinggan? After knowing the story on her side, you want me to apologize right away! Paano naman ako? Anak mo ako pero ibang tao ang papakinggan mo!"
"Darshana!" Kuya hissed when my voice raised.
"How could I listen and believe in every word you say if you've been lying to us for a long time, Darshana?" I froze when I heard that tone. Nakita ko ang pagpikit niya ng mariin at pag-angat ng isang kulay brown na envelope. "Someone mailed this to me."
Nanginginig man ang kamay ay inabot ko iyon.
I slowly opened it and my eyes widened upon seeing the photos. It was me and Chance, sa labas ng airport, sa restaurant, there's a picture of us kissing outside his car. May picture pang nasa bahay niya kami, ako lang iyon. I was wearing his shirt that time at kinukuha ang pagkain na galing sa delivery.
The thing here is... I was the only one seen. Lahat ng anggulo rito ni Chance ay nakatagilid o hindi kayang nakatalikod o sadyang pinalabuan para 'di makilala.
My lips quivered. "Pa, t-this is—"
"May ka-live in ka?" mariing sabi niya roon, malamig ang mga mata.
I heard Kuya sigh behind me, si Mama ay nanlaki rin ang mata at napapikit.
"Pa!" I shook my head. "Pa, h-hindi, this photo... this is my boyfriend, m-matagal na kami—"
"Answer my question, Darshana," mariing sabi niya. "Are you living with that man?"
"No..." I shook my head. "I-I was only there occasionally—"
"Are you living with a man eleven years older than you, Darshana?!" his voice thundered and I shook my head.
"No, Pa!" I exclaimed. "I-I'm not living with him but he's my boyfriend! M-masama bang pumunta—"
"He was eleven years ahead of you, woman!" he exclaimed.
"So?! What's the matter? I-I love him and—"
"He was years older your brother for Pete's sake, Darshana! That man would only play with you! You are so young for him! He will fool you and hurt you—"
"Hindi siya gano'n!" I exclaimed. "He won't hurt me!"
"And how did you know?" he spat. "You don't! Kung hindi lang sa mga pictures na 'to at sa kaibigan mo, hindi namin malalaman!"
"K-kaibigan?" My forehead creased.
"That woman you fought with, you fought with her because of this, right? She was only concerned for you, sinabi niya sa aking nag-aalala siya at nawawalan ka na ng gana sa trabaho dahil sa lalaking 'yan. She said you often skip work just to date with him and you're living with him—"
"And you believed her?!" I exclaimed unbelievably, my heart hammering inside my chest. "Pa, that woman is lying!"
"You are dating a man and living with him, Darshana, right?! Tell me, sino sa inyong dalawa ang nagsisinungaling?!" he spat back and that's when I couldn't control my tears anymore.
"Why don't you believe me?!" I exclaimed loudly.
"Daru, lower your voice..." Kuya tried touching me pero hinawi ko lang ang kamay niya.
"How could I believe you when you keep on lying and hiding secrets, huh?! You disappoint me, Darshana! Hindi kita pinalaki para lang makipaglandian sa kung sinong lalaki—"
"Dash Rakiel! Ang bunganga mo!" Mama shouted to stop him but he didn't.
"Pinagmamalaki kita sa kahit kanino! My daughter is a good one, she's a role model, she's not keeping secrets from us. I keep on telling them that you were such an admirable daughter but you disappoint me!"
"Well, sad to say, Papa pero hindi good girl itong anak mo!" I screamed loudly, nanginig na ang boses at tuluyan na nahulog ang luha. "Sad to say that I was not the role model you're claiming I was because I am not! I have a lot of flaws! I am not perfect! I am only also human, okay?!"
"You two, calm down..." Mama sighed and tried holding Papa pero matigas lang ang kanyang reaksyon.
"Break up with the man, Darshana Astrea," mariing sabi niya. "He won't do you any good. He'll just fool you, hurt you. Break up with him, now."
"I won't!" I sobbed and shook my head. "I would never! H-hindi n'yo siya kilala kaya wala kayong karapatan husgahan siya! Kahit Tatay pa kita, wala kang karapatan!"
"Darshana!" hinatak na ako ni Kuya para patahimikin pero hindi ako nagpahila at kinuha ang braso sa kanya.
"Break up with him or else..."
"Dash, calm down!" Mama hissed.
"Or else what?! You'll disown me? Okay! Disown me, then! Hindi ko na rin naman kaya magpaka-anak sa 'yo!" I almost screamed. "Hindi ko kaya dahil ayaw n'yo naman sa akin, 'di ba?! Hindi n'yo ako pinapakinggan! You chose to believe other people than your own child—"
"Tell me how could I believe you, Darshana!" his voice roared. "I love you! You are my daughter! Mahal na mahal kita at gagawin ko ang lahat para protektahan ka pero paano ko gagawin iyon kung hindi mo sinusunod ang gusto kong mangyari! You keep on hiding everything! I told you to break up with that asshole and he won't do you any good—"
"H-how could you decide for me?!" Nanghina na ako roon at napahagulgol. "How could you tell me things without considering what I feel, huh? Mahal ko siya, Pa! H-he inspired me in everything! He loves me! Hindi niya ako sasaktan, alam ko!"
"Miss Vicente told me everything—"
"And yes, of course, you believe other people!" Tinaas ko ang kamay. "Mas paniniwalaan n'yo ang ibang tao kaysa sa anak n'yo, 'di ba?!"
"Darshana, anak, kumalma kayo. Let's talk about this calmly—"
"H-hindi, Ma, eh!" I exclaimed and tried removing the tears on my cheek. "You have this perfect image of me, na I was a good girl and all! Na susunod ako sa lahat ng bilin n'yo pero alam n'yo ba, m-minsan, nasasakal na ako!"
Umawang ang labi ni Mama roon.
"A-anak, we don't—"
"I-I'm doing my best to be a good girl in front of your eyes k-kasi you expected me to be one! S-simula pa noon! I-I tried my best to meet your expectations of me kaya kapag may gusto ako hindi ko kaagad masabi! I was afraid I'll disappoint you all! H-hindi ko masabing may boyfriend na ako dahil iniisip n'yo na wala pa! Natatakot ako... natatakot na ma-disappoint kayo sa akin and now, all my fears are here. You are all disappointed at me, aren't you?"
Napailing si Papa at umigting ang panga, nakita ko ang pangingilid ng luha ni Mama roon at miski si Kuya ay nabitawan ang braso ko.
"I-I am no good girl, Pa, Ma, Kuya!" I exclaimed and pointed myself. "I had ex-boyfriends, a l-lot of them, hindi n'yo alam kasi tinatago ko! My boyfriend now? I met him way back in high school and you know what? He rejected me because I was so young and he wants me to pursue my studies! He respected me and we met again! 'Di ba, naniniwala kayo sa destiny? I am too! I believed fate let us meet again and we were kaya ngayon, wala na akong pakialam kung hindi n'yo siya gusto!
"Wala na akong pakialam kung madi-disappoint kayo sa akin. I love you but sometimes... gusto ko lang sabihin na nasasakal din ako, n-na natatakot akong mabigo kayo kagaya ngayon. W-what I did earlier was the first time I let my anger out like that! That Lilah? I'm sorry for the word but that bitch has been testing me lately! She keeps on claiming my family, kayo, as hers! She's meddling with my privacy and telling you things I was supposed to tell you!"
"Sasabihin ko naman! Nag-aantay lang ako ng tamang tiyempo n-na maganda ang mood n'yo! Na maiintindihan n'yo 'ko! Pero ano? Inunahan niya 'ko! Inunahan ako ng 'di ko naman pamilya na dapat ako! Ako ang magsasabi at hindi siya!"
Napahagulgol na ako, si Mama ay napatungo at nakita ko ang paghulog ng luha sa kanyang mata. Papa's eyes are bloodshot too but he didn't say anything, nakaigting lang ang panga at nakatingin sa akin.
"S-sana naman makinig kayo sa akin," I whispered. "H-hindi 'yong mas paniniwalaan n'yo sila."
"Daru..." Kuya sighed. "Sit down," he said but I shook my head and lifted my gaze at my father who looked very disappointed. My hand trembled.
"Papa, I love you but m-maybe, I don't deserve to be your daughter. S-sorry kung 'di ko kaya 'yong expectations n'yo sa akin. I-I won't break up with him, Papa. N-nagmahal lang naman ako, s-sana naiintindihan n'yo." I sniffed and tried drying the tears on my cheek.
I sighed and glanced at my mother, tahimik siya roon pero kita ko ang paghawi niya ng kanyang luha.
"S-sorry, Ma. S-sorry po," I apologized before glancing at Kuya. "S-sorry, Kuya..."
My hands are shaking, kahit nanghihina ang paa ay mabilis akong tumalikod at akmang aalis na pero may muling naalala kaya muli akong bumaling kay Papa na pinapanuod lang ako.
"I-I didn't fight with her because of that, I f-fought with her kasi n-nagseselos ako sa atensyon na binibigay n'yo sa kanya," I said weakly. "S-sorry for being selfish but I-I don't want hearing her calling you Papa too."
I saw how my father's forehead creased at that.
"What are you saying—"
"I-I know, Papa." I sobbed and fisted my hand. "I-I knew you told her n-na sana siya na lang ang anak mo at hindi ako..."
His mouth parted a bit, mas kumunot ang noo niya at akmang may sasabihin pero hindi ko na kinaya, I immediately ran outside his office and sobbing, kinuha ko ang bag ko bago mabilis na lumabas ng bahay.
"Ma'am—"
"U-una na ako, K-kuya, pakisabi po kina Papa."
Mabilis na pinara ang taxi na dumaan at mukhang papalabas sa village para sumakay.
I was crying the whole ride, tahimik naman ang driver at hinahayaan ako. I was sniffing hard, remembering how much it hurts to hear disappointments from your family.
Ang sama ko sigurong anak para sabihin iyon sa mga magulang ko pero hindi ko na kinaya, I don't want to be rude but I didn't know any other ways to explain my frustrations.
All I want is to be a good daughter to them pero hindi ko kinaya. I didn't want to disappoint them pero sa dulo ay gano'n din ang nangyari.
I closed my eyes and lifted my handkerchief to dry my tears.
"Sorry, Papa..." I whispered and lowered my head more.
I'm sorry I can't be the daughter you expected me to be. I am so sorry for disappointing you all. I am sorry but I'll follow what my heart wants. It's Chance.
"Ma'am, nandito na po tayo," ani ng driver kaya napaayos ako ng upo. I shifted my gaze and saw Chance's familiar house.
"S-salamat po,"
Nanginginig man ang kamay ay nag-doorbell ako. I bit my lower lip, waiting for Chance to open up and the moment he did, nakita ko ang panlalaki ng mata niya.
"Doll?" he called and the tears from my eyes fell again.
"C-Chance..." I sobbed and ran to him.
He was shock but caught me, mabilis niya akong niyakap at humikbi lang ako at mas niyakap siya.
"Baby, what's the matter?" he asked softly. I sniffed and buried my face more on his neck.
"C-Chance, p-please, h'wag mo ako i-iwan, ah? I-ikaw na lang ang mayro'n ako, p-please, don't hurt me," I begged desperately while sobbing but stiffened when I saw someone behind him... Delilah.
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