Kabanata 16
Kabanata 16
I couldn't explain the excruciating pain I felt with that sight.
I saw the surprise in Lilah's eyes but then a taunting smirk appeared in her mouth.
That annoying wicked smile fueled the rage inside me, walang pagdadalawang-isip na lumayo ako kay Chance at halos takbuhin na ang babae.
Halos pumaling ang ulo niya nang salubungin ko siya ng isang sampal. Napaatras siya roon at nanlaki ang mata sa akin.
"Y-you..." she muttered.
"How dare you meddle with my family affairs, Delilah?!" I exclaimed loudly, nakita ko ang pag-atras niya roon at nanlaki ang mata.
"I don't..."
"Daru!" I heard Chance calling but I didn't listen, mabilis kong hinila ang buhok ni Lilah at mayamaya pa ay biglang sumigaw.
"O-ouch! Let me go!" she screamed. "Y-you're hurting me!"
"Sasaktan talaga kitang illusyunada ka!" I exclaimed loudly and pulled her hair more.
"Darshana!" I felt Chance's hand on my arm.
"Let me the fuck go!" I exclaimed and pushed his hand away, halos ipulupot ko na nag buhok ni Delilah sa kamay ko at hinila.
"Y-you're hurting me!" she screamed, shaking.
"You bitch! How dare you mess with my family!" histerikal kong sigaw sa kanya.
She was too quick and pulled my hair too. I groaned when it stung.
"Stop it, you two!" Awat ni Chance.
"Help me, Chance!" She began crying when she couldn't fight me.
Akala mo papatalo ako sa 'yong illusyunada ka? After you messed with my family? Dream on!
"Hindi kita pamilya, naiintindihan mo?!" I exclaimed. "Y-you will never be! Wala kang karapatan panghimasukan kami!"
"I-I was just concerned s-since you're my friend-"
"You know what? A friend values privacy! Ang kaibigan hindi mang-aagaw! You are never my friend!"
"Chance! H-help! She's hurting me!" She cried and fisted my hair.
Kahit anong sigaw niya at pigil sa akin ni Chance ay hindi ako nagpapigil, halos kalbuhin ko na siya roon, walang pakialam kung nananakit na rin ang anit ko.
"Darshana!" Chance's voice roared.
Narinig ko ang mga yapak, I saw a few security guards pull the crying bitch away from me.
"You-let me go! I will kill that bitch-"
"Daru... calm down," mariing sabi ni Chance at bago pa man ako makapuntang muli kay Delilah ay halos yakapin na ni Chance ang sikmura ko.
Delilah is crying in front of me. Ang dalawang guard ay nasa kanyang likuran at kagaya ko, magulo rin ang buhok niya dahil sa paghila ko.
"C-Chance, s-she hurt me-"
"Get out of my fucking house, Delilah." I almost shivered when I heard Chance's cold voice.
"I-I didn't do anything!" she screamed. "You s-saw her attacked me first-"
"I said get out!" He raised his voice so loud and angry I saw fear reflected in Lilah's eyes.
Kumuyom ang kamay ko at tumiim ang bagang, nagdidilim na ang paningin sa pagmumukha niya.
"I didn't start the fight first, Chance! Nakita mo namang siya ang nauna! Don't tell me kakampihan mo 'yang babaeng 'yan-"
"I would never say this twice, Miss Vicente," mariing sagot niya.
"B-but we're-"
"Get out." He puffed a breath and glanced at the guards. "Please bring her out of my house, pakihatid sa sakayan."
"Opo, Sir."
Delilah was huffing, kunot ang noo niya at matalim ang mga mata sa akin.
"Hindi pa ako sa 'yo tapos..." She even threatened.
I laughed mockingly, I didn't care if I would look crazy right now. Tumatawa kahit na may luha ang mga mata.
"I'll look forward to it, then," I retorted. "Touch my family and I won't hesitate to fucking kill you, Delilah."
"See that?" She gasped and glanced behind me. "S-she was threatening me, Chance!"
I heard Chance puff an annoyed breath and held me closer to him in a protective stance.
"Delilah, please. Just... leave."
"Huh!" She looked so disappointed as if she lost the battle. "R-really, huh? Kinakampihan mo 'yang babaeng 'yan? Are you serious?! She wasn't a good girl like you are all expecting!"
"Good girl, huh?" I laughed at her. "I'm am never a good girl, Delilah. I am a devil and know what? I'll fucking drag you to hell with me if you touch my family again."
"See?! She's a wild animal caged in a good girl's identity-"
"At least I ain't a fox in sheep's clothing, 'di ba?" I smiled sarcastically at her. "At least hindi ako ahas, kagaya mo..."
"Darshana..." Chance warned and tried hiding me behind his back pero hindi ako nagpatalo sa kanya.
"Y-you... oh my God, unbelievable!" Delilah gasped. "Mabuti na lang at ako ang pinaniwalaan ng Papa-"
"Get the fuck out of here." Chance hissed and nodded at the security guards.
"Ma'am..." ani nito at hinawakan si Lilah pero ngumiwi lang ang huli at hinawi ang braso nila.
"Marunong akong maglakad paalis!" she exclaimed, glaring at me.
I watched her walk away, nagdadabog at hinahawi ang kanyang buhok. Nakasunod ang mga guard sa kanya at nang maisara nila ang gate ay napabuntonghininga ako.
"Baby, are you okay?" I heard his voice, slowly turning me towards him pero nang maalalang nasa loob ng bahay niya ang peste na 'yon ay kaagad kong hinampas ang braso niya.
"Ouch!" he groaned and pulled his hand away.
I licked my lower lip, hinawi ko ang luha ko at nilingon siya matalim ang tingin.
"Why did you-" He froze when he saw my glaring eyes. "Baby-"
"Why the hell is that bitch here, Salcedo?" mariin at malamig kong sabi.
"Daru-"
"Answer me!" I demanded.
"She's a client," aniya kaya kumunot ang noo ko. "My secretary called, someone wanted to see my recent paintings, 'yong mga natira sa last exhibit ko and since I am home at wala na ako sa studio, I said okay. Pinapunta ko na lang dito."
Tinitigan ko lang siya at humugot siya ng hininga at kinuha ang phone sa kanyang bulsa. May kinulikot siya roon at nakita kong inilahad niya pagkatapos sa akin.
From: Teresa
Hello, Sir. Nabigay ko na po sa client ang address n'yo, pasensya na po sa abala. Gusto raw po talaga makita ang natira sa exhibit.
"There, she texted me," aniya sa akin kaya parang nawala rin ang nakadagan sa aking dibdib. I was so relieved at that pero hindi ko ipinakita sa kanya.
"Where did you two talk?" I asked and raised my brow at him.
"Inside the office," he explained, his eyes softening. Marahang inabot niya ang braso ko at hinila ako palapit sa kanya. "I swear, bumaba lang ako kasi may nag-doorbell. If you want, you can check the office."
I sighed and nodded, believing him. Nang maramdaman ko ang marahang haplos niya sa balikat ko ay para na akong nanghina at bumigay.
A tear fell on my cheek again, napatungo ako para hindi niya iyon makita pero mabilis niyang nasapo ang pisngi ko at hinanap ang mga mata ko.
"Shh..." he hushed softly. "Baby..."
"C-Chance..." Then, I gave in. My voice broke. His jaw clenched. He pulled me close and embraced me tightly even without knowing what it was all about.
"What's the matter? Hmm?" marahang bulong niya at hinalikan ang buhok ko.
Hindi na ako nakapagsalita pa roon, narinig ko na lang ang mahinang mura niya at hindi na ako nakalaban nang basta na lang niya akong pangkuin at iniangat sa ere.
Isinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya, putting my arms on his nape for support. Tahimik siya habang papasok, naramdaman ko pa ang pag-akyat namin sa second floor.
"Baby, can you open the door?" marahang sabi niya kaya humiwalay ako at bumaling sa door knob. I twisted it and he pushed it with his foot, slowly taking me inside.
I immediately caught a glimpse of Cho-choo, mabilis itong tumayo sa higaan nito sa gilid at tumahol nang makita ako.
"H-hi, baby..." I smiled at him.
Slowly, Chance brought me on his bed, ihihiga niya sana ako pero mabilis akong naupo sa kama para salubungin si Cho-choo.
He immediately jumped on the bed when he saw me, wiggling his tail. Napatawa na ako nang dambahin na ako ng anak ko.
"Oh, you missed Mommy so much?" I asked softly, chuckling a bit when he jumped on me again, tila nagpapabuhat.
"He missed you." Napalingon ako kay Chance na nakaupo sa gilid ng kama.
Gginulo ko ang balahibo ni Pocholo bago bumuntonghininga.
"Thank you," I whispered. "For taking care of him."
"No worries, that's our son. Dapat lang na alagaan ko," he said with his dimples showing.
"Thank you, baby boy," I whispered, a weak smile on my lips.
He nodded, his gaze soft.
"Have you eaten? Do you want me to cook you food?"
"Just a warm milk," I whispered and smiled. "Kumain na ako sa bahay."
"Okay," he nodded before kneeling on the bed.
He kissed my forehead, napapikit ako roon at nawala ang natirang bigat sa dibdib. He touched my cheek after that and kissed my lips before tapping Pocholo and went out of the room.
I rested on the bed with Cho-choo, nakangiti ako habang hinahaplos ang kanyang balahibo at naglalambing lang siya sa tabi ko. He missed me so much, too.
"Are you a good boy here, Cho-choo? Hindi ka pasaway kay Daddy?" I asked while brushing his fur.
He barked a little softer and it made me chuckle, nalibang ako sa kanya at natigil lang kami nang muling bumukas ang kwarto at pumasok si Chance na may hawak na tray.
I saw the milk and a small plate of cookies, inilapag niya iyon sa side table bago lumuhod sa kama at tinawag si Cho-choo.
"Come on, son. I prepared your dinner, food," he said and just by hearing foods, Cho-choo became hyper again, natawa ako nang sundan niya si Chance palabas ng kwarto para makakain na siya.
Nanatili akong nakahiga at nakatitig sa itaas kung hindi lang bumalik si Chance, mabilis siyang naupo sa tabi ko at may pinunasan sa pisngi ko.
Napalingon ako sa kanyang seryoso ang tingin.
"What's the matter? Hush now, don't cry..."
I sighed and nodded, nang alalayan niya akong paupo ay mabilis kong hinawi ang luha ko at bumaling sa kanya.
"C-Chance, love mo ako?" I asked sadly. His forehead creased but then nodded and caressed my chin.
"Of course, doll," he whispered and pulled me closer. "Of course, I love you."
"Thank you. I love you too, so much," bulong kong pagod.
He pulled me closer to him. I laid on his chest while he's resting his back on the head board. Marahang hinaplos niya ang buhok ko at hinalikan ang ulo ko.
"I'm just here to listen if you want to share your problems, okay?" he muttered and I slowly nodded, lifting his hand. Marahang ipinaraan ko ang daliri sa palad niya at nang mahuli niya iyon ay napatili ako.
"Got ya." He whispered and lifted my hand he caught. He gently kissed it and brought it back to me.
"Let me see if you have scratches," he whispered pero umiling lang ako.
"Just brush my hair," I said. "I'm okay. Wala naman sigurong scratch."
Marahang humiwalay siya sa akin, he stood and went on his drawer for the hair brush I always use. Binili niya ito sa akin noong nakaraan, para may gamitin daw ako kapag nandito ako.
"Here, drink or eat some while I brush your hair," he said and placed the tray in front of me.
Kinuha ko iyon at sumimsim ng gatas, I felt him sat behind me and caressed my hair.
"Did your scalp hurt?"
"Y-yeah, here, oh." I pointed the part and he sighed before massaging my head.
"You shouldn't have fought with her, nasaktan ka tuloy," aniya habang minamasahe ng marahan ang ulo ko. I felt him slowly tugging the ends of my hair, tinatanggal ang buhol.
"I will, Chance," I told him. "Kahit anong mangyari, kahit sino magsabi, hindi ako magsisising pinatulan ko ang babaeng 'yon. If p'wedeng ulitin, I'll do it in a heartbeat. I won't care at makakalbo ko siya."
I heard him chuckle.
"She's not worthy of your scratches." Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at nakita ko ang tingin niya sa balat ko. "This isn't fresh, don't tell me you fought with her earlier?"
"Oh, I did," I answered proudly and bit my cookies. "Sa airport, sinuntok ko siya."
"What?" he exclaimed a bit loudly kaya ngumuso ako at nilingon siya.
"I said, I punched her mouth earlier. Sayang nga 'di tumalsik ang ngipin." Tinaas ko ang cookie na hawak ko at inilapit sa bibig niyang nakaawang. "Hayaan mo, next time, gagalingan ko."
Nagkatinginan kami, ngumisi ako at ginalaw ang panga niya para kagatin niya ang cookie.
"Aren't you proud of your baby doll? Hindi na ako manika, boxer na ako, jejemaster." I raised my other fist and he suddenly laughed at me.
It made me laugh too. The ambiance lightened between the two of us. Kinagat ko ang labi ko at muling bumaling sa kinakain at muli niyang inayos ang buhok ko.
"What did she do?" he asked, serious now.
"She's being a bitch these days," I muttered softly. "Ayos lang kung ako, kung sa akin lang, eh. But no, she tried ruining my family, she's messing with my father now."
"What?" I felt him tensed up, natigil siya sa ginagawa sa buhok ko kaya nilingon ko siya at nakitang madilim na ang mukha. "What did she do?"
I can sense worry and rage in his eyes at ayokong mamroblema lang siya kagaya ko kaya ngumiti ako at umiling. Isa pa, I don't want him to know na ayaw sa kanya ng Papa. Ayaw ko siyang masaktan.
"Nothing I can't handle," I told him instead.
"Darshana..."
"I'll ask you for help if I can't take it anymore, baby boy," I said and lifted my hand to tap his cheek. "I'm independent, 'di ba? Kaya ko 'to."
"Still, hindi porket kaya mong mag-isa ay kikimkimin mo," he reminded and it stopped me. "And stop flashing your fake smile, Darshana, I know your smile."
Nawala na ang ngiti ko, suminghap ako at umiling-iling.
"Nag-break down lang ako, Chance. Nagkasagutan kasi kami ni Papa," I told him, inabot ko ang kamay niyang may hawak na hair brush at inangat at mukhang nakuha niya at tahimik niya na sinuklay ang buhok ko.
"Anong kinalaman ni Lilah? What did she do?" he asked, I noticed the strain in his voice.
"I saw her na galing sa opisina ni Papa, then she told me na sinabi raw ni Papa na sana raw ay siya na lang ang naging anak at hindi ako."
Humapdi lalo ang dibdib nang maalala 'yon.
"What?" Tumalim ang boses niya. "You father said that?"
Painfully, I nodded, nangilid na naman ang luha ko pero ayokong makikita niya akong nanghihina ng ganito kaya kinagat ko ang labi at sumimsim ng gatas.
"I don't think he'll say it, that's just too harsh," aniya pero hindi na ako umimik.
May mas harsh pa roon, Chance. He didn't like you for me, just because you're older. I don't get it, bakit? Bakit ayaw niya? Kagaya niya kay Mama noon, nagmahal lang din naman ako?
Why is he so unfair to me?
Masama bang mahalin si Chance? Kaya ko bang turuan ang puso ko na hindi na lang siya?
"Daru, look at me, baby..." he said and touched my neck, marahang nilingon ko siya at nakita ko ang pamumungay ng mata niya. "You two should talk."
"We did," I said bitterly. "H-hindi naman siya nakikinig sa akin."
"How about your mother?" he asked. "You could ask her-"
"She's maybe disappointed with me too, silang lahat. I made a scandal by fighting with her in a public place, sa mismong airport pa naman namin," I said. "B-but you think I'm a bad girl for not apologizing for that?"
"Is she asking you often about your family?" Tumango ako.
"Oo, dati naman akala ko harmless lang pero recently, she's too much. I-I heard her called my Mom Mama. Narinig ko tinawag niyang Papa ang Papa ko tapos... I saw her carrying my little sister, si Dette. Sabi niya, siya raw ang bagong Ate. I-I saw her always talking to my Kuya, g-ginagaya niya ako kapag nagpapaayos akong buhok at saka hat," sumbong ko at nakita ko ang titig niya sa akin.
"'At saka ano..." Suminghot ako. "N-no'ng pagkatapos naming mag-away, s-siya unang binigyan ni Kuya ng tubig, eh, ako ang kapatid niya."
I know it was petty but I couldn't help but make it a big deal.
His lips lifted for a small smile at nangilid ang luha ko roon, mabilis kong hinawi ang luha sa pisngi ko.
"A-am I selfish? Y-yeah, it sounded selfish of me p-pero kasi ano..." I bit my lower lip. "I-I don't want other people claiming my family's attention. P-pamilya ko 'yon, eh. Akin 'yon."
Napakurap-kurap na ako para pigilan ang luha pero nabigo.
"S-sorry, Chance. A-ayaw mo na ba sa akin k-kasi madamot ako? I'm just-"
"I fell in love a lot more just now." My heart jumped. Marahang hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko at pinunasan ang luha ko. "I'm a selfish man too, Daru, you just don't know."
"Hmm?"
"Kung ako rin, kapag may tatawag sa mga magulang ko na ganyan at kukunin ang atensyon ng mga kapatid ko, magagalit din ako. It's not being selfish, I think. You're just protective of your family and kung mangyayari sa akin iyan, magagalit din ako." He comforted me with just the right words and it made me feel so light.
"I love you, Chance, okay?" I said softly and stared at his eyes before cupping my cheek. "H-h'wag ka na ulit lalapit do'n sa Delilah na 'yan, ah? I know she's your client pero p'wedeng h'wag na?"
Natigilan ako nang naging tunog selfish na naman ang tono ko, napalunok ako at umiling.
"S-sorry, it's bad, I mean... kung 'di naman importanteng kliyente siya p-pero sa 'yo pa rin ang desisyon. Sorry for sounding so possessive-"
"I won't entertain her anymore," he said and it stopped me.
"You won't?" maliit akong ngumiti at tumango siya at natawa.
"I won't, baby. Don't worry." He sighed and touched my hair, marahang hinaplos niya ang buhok ko bago inilagay sa balikat ko. "What did I tell you? Don't trust too much. Never share personal infos with strangers. To people you just met."
"I treated her my friend, you know. I just didn't know ganito ang igaganti niya sa akin. I've been good naman kaya hindi ko maintindihan saan nagmumula ang galit niya sa akin."
He just stared at me, nakita ko ang kung anong emosyong 'di ko mapangalanan sa kanyang mga mata.
"Just...avoid her, hmm?" he said gently and touched my cheek. "She can hurt you, we don't know if maybe, mas pa roon. Now that she made her move, please, don't try to talk to her again."
"I can't promise you that, Chance. Kasi kapag pinakialaman niya sina Papa, makakapanakit ako ulit."
"Alright, just please, be safe, okay? Don't start a row or anything that might hurt you in the end. I will always check on you and please, tell me if you need help. I'll be there. Don't go near her alone. Ever. Okay?"
That's hard kasi we're working in the same place. Magkasami kami lagi sa flight.
"H'wag kang lalapit na sa babaeng 'yon, ah?" I told him. "I'm sorry for being selfish pero sa akin ka lang, Chance Ford, okay? Sa akin. Akin."
He smiled and nodded. "Sa 'yo lang, Sandejas."
I offered my arms so he could embrace me, his body warm and comforting.
"Please, don't let me fall, baby boy,"
"Never," he whispered then slowly pushed me away before touching my hair. "Maraming sabit pa ang buhok mo, baby doll. 'Di pa ako tapos magsuklay."
I giggled at that, natawa rin siya at pinisil ang pisngi ko.
"What an adorable doll. Ang ganda mo." He winked at me.
"Suklayan mo muna ako, you like combing my hair, 'di ba?" I noticed.
"I like that it's long," He chuckled. "I can comb it always, bagay sa 'yo."
"Don't worry, I won't cut it para palagi mo akong susuklayan." I smiled and turned my back again at him. "Come on, baby boy, para mukbang tayo after."
"The fuck..." Nagulat ako at napatawa nang halos mabitawan ni Chance ang suklay. "Hindi mo naman sinabi kaagad!" he groaned, nagmamadaling sinuklayan kaya napabungisngis ako.
–
THE next days were tough for me, usap-usapan ako sa airport kinabukasan dahil sa nangyari at masakit man ay hinahayaan ko naman sila. Kahit ano namang explain ko sa side ko ay hindi nila ako maiintindihan.
People would always choose what they want to believe even if you tell them the truth and it's not my problem anymore. I won't waste my saliva fixing my ruined name.
Sa lahat naman ng pananaw nila, ako ang nagsimula at ako ang may kasalanan.
I found out I am now with a new group of cabin crews the next day, ibig sabihin ay 'di ko na kasama sa grupo si Lilah at puro bago na. They said everyone was reshuffled but I doubt. I think my brother or father made this happen at wala naman akong naging problema roon.
It's in my favor, not seeing the bitch's face anymore. Halata rin naman sa mga bagong crew members na kasama ko na iwas sila sa akin pero hinayaan ko na lang.
I'll do my job to earn, hindi ko na sila poproblemahin. Thinking about them won't give me money.
Mama calls me always, kina-kumusta akong madalas. I told her I was fine and doing good. She's been convincing me to go home and talk it out again with Papa but I refused.
I keep on telling her I was a bit busy at dadaan sa bahay kapag off pero hindi ko ginagawa. I was afraid Papa would never hear me, mas masasaktan lang akong isipin na isang sabi lang ni Lilah ay naniwala na siya pero sa akin na anak niya na paulit-ulit na gustong magpaliwanag ay 'di niya pinapakinggan.
The next days were rough. I received an email from my sponsors telling me they're cancelling their sponsorship. A video was taken, it was my fight with Lilah, kitang-kita na ako ang palaban sa video. It was posted the same day Lilah and I fought at no'ng gabi ko lang nakita. Though, it was taken down immediately, I am positive na sina Tito ang may gawa kaya nawala.
It stained my name, umatras ang sponsors na gustong magrepresent sa akin sa Miss Universe Philippines na sasalihan ko sana. Our airlines were in the headlines because of the catfight I had and my application in the said pageant was declined due to that reason.
I didn't take it to the heart, inihanda ko na rin naman ang sarili noong nagpasa ako ng application na may tiyansang 'di ako matanggap pero I admit, masakit. Masakit din isipan na paniguradong nadagdagan ang disappointment ng pamilya ko sa akin.
I asked Chance not to see each other that much these days, hindi niya alam na ayaw sa kanya ni Papa ko and I didn't want him to know either. He understood me at nag-uusap lang kami sa phone kada gabi pagkauwi ko.
I am seeing Lilah pero kung maaari ay umiiwas ako.
Kuya kept on calling me just to check at masaya naman ako na concerned siya sa akin.
"You should talk to Papa again, princess." He tried convincing me again.
"I will, Kuya. Kapag malamig na ang ulo niya," I said. "We might clash again, baka we'll end up shouting to each other again at mai-stress lang si Mama."
"You think she isn't stressed?" He sighed. "She is, Darshana."
"R-really?" My heart pounded, worried. "Is she okay? Si Dette, kumusta?"
"Dette is fine but si Mama, hindi pa kinakausap si Papa hanggang ngayon. He's sleeping in the guestroom." What he said pained me, ngayon lang silang hindi nag-usap ng ganito.
"And Papa said he never said that, Darshana," aniya kaya natigilan na ako. "When you left, he cried too, you know? Sinampal kasi ni Mama dahil sa sinabi mong sinabi niya sa 'yo."
"'Yong... sa anak?"
"Yeah, Papa said he never said that. He tried talking to Mama pero hindi raw makikipag-usap si Mama habang 'di pa kayo ayos na dalawa," aniya kaya napabuntonghininga ako.
"Hindi pa ako ready, Kuya," I confessed. "I love you, kayong lahat, Papa and Mama at saka si Dette. Hindi ko lang kaya pa makausap si Papa. He's been avoiding me too, you know. N-nagkakasalubong kami kaso umiiwas siya."
I heard him sigh. "Anak ka nga ni Dash, ano? Patigasan kayong ulo dalawa?"
"Sorry, Kuya. I don't know if I could believe what you said right away kasi what he said to Lilah, it's painful. At saka nasaktan akong hindi niya ako pinakinggan, he chose to believe her."
He nodded, understanding.
"I understand but please, talk to him, okay? I'll talk to him, too. Fix this, hindi ako sanay na ganyan kayong dalawa ni Papa. Mama's asking me to check on you often, she's worried."
"Okay po. Salamat, Kuya and I am sorry. Mag-iipon muna akong lakas ng loob para makausap si Papa."
It pained me knowing my family's been fighting because of me. Ito ang ayaw ko sa lahat, all this time I did my best to be a good daughter para hindi sila masaktan sa mga ginagawa ko pero sa huli'y ako rin ang naging dahilan.
Papa and I we're seeing each other occasionally, nagkakasalubong lang sa airport, gano'n pero kung hindi siya iiwas ay ako ang iiwas. Para kaming nagpapantintero, umiiwas kapag nagkakasalubong para 'di magtagpo.
The next day, while I was on my way to the meeting area with my group, I saw Papa walking. Suot-suot niya ang kulay asul na uniporme at sumusulyap sa kanyang orasan.
"Good morning po, Captain!" Naririnig kong bati sa kanya at umaangat siya ng tingin, ngingiti at tatango.
Napawi ang ngiti niya nang makita akong papasalubong sa kanya. My heart ache when his jaw just clenched and checked his cap to try and avoid my gaze.
Nangilid ang luha ko pero kinalma ko ang sarili, my head's been throbbing since I had a headache just this morning, nadagdagan nga lang ang sakit dahil nakita ko ang Papa pero takot naman akong kausapin siya.
Humigpit ang hawak ko sa maleta ko, tumungo ako at mas sumikip ang dibdib nang walang maang niya lang akong nilagpasan.
Napalunok ako, dire-diretso lang din akong naglakad na parang walang nangyari pero napatigil nang pumintig na naman ang ulo sa sakit. I sighed, mas humigpit ang hawak ko sa maleta at humugot ng hininga.
I was dizzy, my head is throbbing yet my heart is the most painful part. Medyo nanlabo ang paningin ko pero muli akong pumikit at nagmulat, kinakalma ang sarili.
You have a flight in an hour, Darshana. Come on, wake up!
I sighed, muli akong naglakad pero dalawang hakbang pa lang ata ang nagawa ko ay nawalan ng lakas ang paa ko. Nahulog ang maletang hawak ko nang mabuwal ako sa lapag. I heard the gasps of the people around me.
"Miss!" They squealed. My head throbbed.
"Miss, ayos ka lang?" May mga lumapit sa aking tao para tanungin ako.
"Excuse me." I heard a baritone familiar voice approaching. "Excuse, that's my daughter."
Hindi ko alam kung namamalik-mata lang ako o ano but I saw my father kneeling in front of me.
"Darshana, are you okay?" he asked me worriedly but my eyes were blurry.
"P-pa..." I called and he sighed, walang pagdadalawang-isip na binuhat niya ako sa bisig niya.
"Call the nurse," aniya sa kung sino at halos takbuhin na ang clinic.
I fainted. Nagising ako pagkatapos ng halos isang oras akong tulog at nakita ang Nurse na nasa tabi ko at may inaayos na kung ano.
"Nurse?" I called softly. Nagulat siya't napatayo.
"Miss Sandejas!" aniya. "Kumusta na ang pakiramdam mo? Are you still dizzy?"
"I'm okay now..." I muttered and bit my lip, naalala ko ang kanina kaya bumaling ako sa kanya.
"W-where's... uhm, sinong naghatid sa akin?" I asked.
"Ah, si Captain po. Nawalan ka raw po ng malay, he was panicking when he got there." It made my heart melt.
"Really? Uh, nasaan na siya?" I asked and looked around.
"Ay, umalis din po kasi sinundo na siya para sa flight. Ayaw po sana umalis kaso overseas kasi kaya siya talaga." I slowly nodded after hearing that, bumaling ako sa paligid at nagsalita.
"What happened? Medyo nahilo kasi ako."
"May kaunting sinat ka lang kanina, Miss Sandejas. Stress din po marahil. Gusto ka nga sana dalhin sa ospital ni Captain pero no'ng sinabi kong sinat lang naman at pahinga ay ayos ka na, pumayag na rin siya." She smiled at me. "I admire your family, Miss. Nakakatuwa po ang pag-aalala ni Captain, hindi kasi ganyan ang Tatay ko."
I just smiled and nodded at her, sumulyap ako sa orasan at nanlaki ang mata nang makita ang oras.
"Shit, I have a flight!" I gasped. "Mauuna na ako, Miss-"
"Ay, Miss. Okay na po." Pinigilan niya ang braso ko. "H'wag ka raw po muna pumasok hanggang bukas sabi ni Captain, magpahinga ka raw po muna."
Napakurap-kurap ako, inalalayan niya akong pabalik sa higaan at may kinuha sa side table.
"Binili po ito ni Captain kanina, kainin mo raw po pagkagising mo." She smiled and showed me the foods, kumalabog ang puso ko roon sa saya.
My eyes stung.
My Papa didn't forget giving me foods... kahit galit siya sa akin.
"S-salamat..." I smiled at her.
"Ay, pinapasabi po ni Captain na ubusin n'yo raw po, pati gulay d'yan. H'wag mo raw po iluwa." She grinned at napatawa na ako roon at tumango.
Kahit madaming gulay ang nasa pagkain na ibinigay ay hindi man lang ako nasuka habang kumakain. I am all smiles, my heart felt so warm na hindi ako kinalimutan ni Papa.
I was scared but I texted him with a simple thank you to tell him I am grateful. Si Mama ay tumawag din pagkaraan para itanong ang lagay ko, nagsabi raw kasi si Papa na may lagnat ako. She wants to go here pero may klase pa siya kaya hindi ako pumayag.
I assured her I was fine at wala na akong sinat at pagkatapos ng napakahabang diskusyon ay kumalma na rin siya.
I spent my whole day in the clinic, resting and eating foods. Nakakahiya man ay nakisuyo ako kay Nurse na magpabili ng cookies dahil natatakam ako talaga.
Naubos ko nga ang isang pack kaya medyo nalula ako sa nangyari.
Chance texted if he could fetch me tonight and I said yes, ilang araw ko rin siyang 'di nakita at sa video call at tawag lang kami madalas kaya na-miss ko siya.
Pinayagan na rin ako ng Nurse na lumabas nang masiguradong wala na akong sinat kaya alas-siyete pa lang ay nakahanda na ako. I fixed my hair, sinuklay ko na at inayos ang pagkakalugay. Iniwan ko na lang ang maleta sa locker ko kaya hand bag ko na lang ang dala ko.
Sa exit sa may parking ako lumabas para maantay si Chance.
I went out, inilibot ko ang tingin ko at nakita ang pamilyar niyang itim na sasakyan. Nakangiti akong lumapit pero kaagad na nawala nang makitang kausap niya si Delilah.
My jaw clenched, napalunok ako sa galit at halos takbuhin na sila roon.
"Lilah, I told you to stop-"
"Lilah ka ng Lilah!" she exclaimed. "Call me Del!"
I froze on the spot, umawang ang labi ko at natulos lang sa gilid malapit sa kanila at nakita ang sariling nakikinig.
"No." Chance sighed. "Just stop, okay?"
"Anong stop? No, ikaw na ang tumigil! Nasasaktan ko na si Darshana, okay? Now, you should stop pretending to be good to her too! Iwanan mo na at tapos na ako sa kanya!"
What?
My heart hammered painfully.
"Delilah-"
"I said call me Del, okay?!" she whined. "Like before! Like when we're together!"
"It's not the thing here, Delilah, what I've been telling you is-"
"No! Call me Del! You stopped calling me that when we broke up! I want us back now! Your job of fooling that girl is over, okay? Nasaktan ko na siya at masasaktan mo na siya. Okay na ako! Now, let's be together again!"
My breath got caught in my lungs. My body trembled. I chewed my lip and tried so hard to control my breathing.
Del? That woman his mother is talking about? The one he kissed?
He was fooling me? No... he can't do that to me.
He said he loved me. He proved it to me. Hindi niya 'ko sasaktan! He promised me!
Tumingala ako para pigilan ang sarili sa panginginig at mas kinuyom ang kamay.
"Delilah, listen, okay?" I heard Chance's desperate voice. "Stop what you are doing right now, you're done with your revenge, okay? Now, calm down and leave them alone-"
"Nagbago ka lang, eh! Simula nang nakilala mo ang babaeng 'yan hindi mo na ako pinagbibigyan! She ruined my life, okay, Chance?! Her family ruined our life!" she screamed. "A-and I asked you to help me and you did! You played with her and you should be done with her because I said so!"
"Yes, I agreed with you..." Chance's confirmation shattered me, ramdam na ramdam ko ang panginginig ng kamay ko roon. "I agreed to play with her and hurt her to help you."
Putang ina...
Tumaas-baba ang dibdib ko at mariing ipinikit ang mga mata.
Tang ina. Putang ina...
"You did and now I am asking you to break it with her! Break up! Now! Itigil mo na 'yang kahibangan mo!" she screamed. "Kung ayaw mo sabihin, ako na ang magsasabi sa kanya-"
"Lilah, it's not easy, okay?" he gasped. "Stop this. Stop meddling with her family and stop your bullshits. Darshana has nothing to do with that-"
"What?" She laughed sarcastically. "Don't tell me you fell for her?!"
"Delilah-"
"Damn you, Chance!" she screamed. "You clearly told me you'll help me hurt her! And now you're doing this?! Hindi ako papayag! You are mine, okay? Sa akin ang pamilya niya! Sa akin ka!"
"I am not yours!" He growled. "And you stop with your crazy antics. Pinagbigyan kita noon but this is too much, this is not what I expected you to do. Hindi na ikaw ang Delilah na kilala ko-"
"No. We started this and we'll end this together. Hindi ako makakapayag na mapunta ka sa malanding iyon!"
"Words, Delilah!"
"Yeah, she's a bitch! A whore, Chance! You know what? Kapag nasa ibang bansa kami may kalandian 'yon, she told me she's fucking men, hindi ko lang sinasabi sa 'yo-"
"I said stop."
"No! You break up with her or I'll tell her-"
"What a nice stunt, huh?" Nanginginig man ay kinaya ko pang maglakad at magpakita sa kanila.
They froze, nanlaki ang mata ni Chance at gano'n din si Delilah pero umangat ang sulok ng labi pagkaraan. Amusement filled her eyes.
Chance looked terrified.
"Oh, what a surprise! The doll is here... ang manikang pinaglaruan-"
"Shut it, Delilah!" Chance exclaimed and glanced at me. "B-baby, I will explain-"
"You both are good actors and actress, hmm?" I smiled a bit, nanginginig man sa galit ay pinipilit na kumalma.
"Darshana-"
"Lalo na ikaw." I stared at him coldly, I saw the frustration on his face, inabot niya ako pero mabilis kong hinawi ang kamay niya. "Don't touch me."
"B-baby... no, you listen to me-"
"I said don't fucking touch me!" I screamed and pushed him away from me.
Napaatras siya at nakita ko ang nahihirapan na paglunok niya. Si Lilah naman ay ngumuso lang at natatawang humalukipkip.
"Woah, that was beautiful." She smirked. "You heard us?"
Hindi ko siya sinagot. Mas sumugat ang ngisi niya.
"Great, then. Hindi ko na kailangang ulitin. That's true. Chance only played with you so he could help me-"
"Delilah, you fucking shut up!" Chance pulled her arm but she didn't bulge, mabilis na sumulyap sa akin si Chance at puno ng pagsusumamo ang mata. "D-don't listen to her, baby. Let me explain, okay? We will talk. It's not that I-"
Bullshit...
"Ang saya bang paglaruan ako, Salcedo?" I spat.
"No..." He shook his head and licked his lower lip, namumungay na ang mata. "No, Darshana. I am not playing with you, everything I showed you is true-"
"Oh, you totally agreed with me, Chance. I told you to play with her so you could help me and you did. H'wag kang maniwala sa sinasabi niya, Daru. He's enjoying playing with you, he said he enjoyed fucking your brains out-"
"Delilah!" Mas marahas na hinatak na siya ni Chance, galit na galit. Sumisikip ang paghinga ko. "Can you stop lying?! Stop messing with us-"
"Ouch! What? You said you enjoyed fucking her-"
"I did not say that!" he exclaimed and glanced at me pleadingly, desperately. "D-Darshana, baby, listen to me. I never said that-"
"Did you agree with her?" I asked coldly and ironically, tears didn't fell. Mukhang dahil sa patong-patong na sakit nitong nakaraan ay naubos na ang mga luha.
"Daru..." he gasped. "I..."
"Answer my fucking question, did you agree with her?" mariing sabi ko.
I was composed, hiding my shaking hand behind my back yet deep inside, it hurts so much it resembles the feeling of dying. I pinched my fingers behind me, pleading with the Gods to just stop all this pain.
'Di ko kaya 'to...
"Darshana..." he trailed off. Delilah smiled sweetly and fixed her hair, watching us.
"Come on, baby boy. Why don't you tell the helpless doll about our agreement?" Delilah laughed. "Oh, this is so amusing!"
"Shut up, Delilah." Chance exclaimed and walked closer to me. "D-Daru, let's talk, okay?" he asked softly, nakita ko ang pamumungay sa kanyang mata. "L-let me explain, I only did that because she's-"
"Oo o hindi lang, Salcedo," I spat. "Did you agreed to play with me or not?"
"Doll-" He tried reaching for me again.
"Yes or no?!" I exclaimed and pushed his hand away. "D-don't fucking touch me!"
"D-Daru..." Nahulog ang luha sa pisngi niya at halos mapailing na ako. "I-I'm just..."
So he did? Pagak akong natawa.
Napakagaling talaga ng gago. Ang galing-galing magpaikot.
"Last question, pumayag ka ba?" Mariing turan ko at itinulak siya palayo sa akin. "Oo o hindi lang."
He was silent after that. I just stared at him coldly, depriving him from seeing through me. His eyes are bloodshot, nakita ko ang paghulog ng mga luha sa kanyang mata pero wala akong awang naramdaman ni katiting.
I watched his expression and I saw him lowering his head, slowly nodding at me, admitting every fucking thing he did.
That was my last straw. I expected it but the pain was just as painful.
"Alright." I smiled at them. Nakita ko si Lilah na nakangiti at si Chance na nakatungo lang. Natawa ako. "Okay, wow. You did good, huh? That shock me."
"Aren't we the best?" Lilah smiled and tried touching Chance pero lumayo lang ang huli at bumaling sa aking nagmamakaawa.
"D-Daru-"
"Yeah, you two are the best. I fell for the game, I admit." I smiled faintly and shrugged. "You wanted to hurt me? You won. It hurt me."
"Darshana-"
"Sobrang nasaktan ako," mariing sabi ko at bumaling kay Chance na umiiling lang sa akin. "I hope this pain of mine is enough to feed your egos. I hope this pain entertained the both of you, sana naging masaya kayo."
"Oh, I definitely did!" She clapped her hands.
"Delilah-"
"Now that you both are thrilled, I hope you'll stop messing with my family," I retorted and eyed them both. "Goodbye."
Tumalikod na ako. My knees were shaking and in the verge of giving up but I tried my best to stay on my feet. Gusto kong umiyak pero walang luhang kumakawala sa dibdib, parang bato lang sa tigas at hapdi.
"Darshana!" Chance called and pulled me back. "N-no, let me explain-"
Pumaling ang ulo niya nang salubungin ko siya ng sampal.
"Darsh-"
"You are unworthy of all the chances, Chance. Unlike your name," I scoffed and pursed my lips. "I loathe you, so much. I hope I never met you, I am disgusted with everything we had."
Mabilis akong tumalikod at iniwan siyang tulala roon. Halos tumakbo na ako at naabutan ang shuttle na paalis na. I sat on the last row without feeling anything but pain, rage and disappointment.
"Mommy, Mommy! Ano pong nangyari kay Icarus no'ng lumipad na siya ng sobrang taas?" Napabaling ako sa tabi ko at nakita ang batang katabi ko sa shuttle, ang Mommy niya ay abala sa text na natanggap kaya kinulit niya ito. "Mommy-"
"Mamaya na, anak. May text si Mommy," the lady said and the child pouted, napansin niya ata akong nakamasid kaya bumaling siya sa akin at biglang ngumiti.
"Ikaw po, Ate, alam mo po nangyari kay Icarus no'ng lumipad siya ng mataas na mataas?" she asked innocently and slowly, I nodded.
"He fell from the sky, baby, and no one... no one dared to catch him." I smiled but then tears started pooling down my cheek.
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