Loved | EN
The rain drummed against the twelfth-floor hospital window, like an old song condemned to play on endless repeat.
Taehyung sat by the bedside, silently watching the man lying before him.
Jungkook still hadn't woken up.
It had been half a year.
Half a year was long enough for Seoul to endure a harsh winter, and for the ginkgo tree outside the hospital corridor to shed its leaves and sprout pale green buds once more. Yet Jungkook lay there, motionless, locked in an unending slumber.
His eyes fell to Jungkook's hands.
Months of intravenous drips had left his wrists noticeably thin, his pale skin appearing almost translucent under the cold, sterile lights. He remembered how these hands used to clutch his coat whenever they wove through crowded streets. How they once cradled a warm cup of coffee, while Jungkook smiled at him, his eyes crinkling like a child's.
Now, they were ice-cold.
Taehyung bowed his head, clenching his fists so hard it hurt.
The only sound remaining in the room was the steady, rhythmic beep of the heart monitor.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
That sound had nearly driven him mad during his first days back in the country.
On the day he received the call that Jungkook had been in an accident, Taehyung was in Paris.
It was snowing outside.
He remembered with agonizing clarity the exact moment his phone slipped from his hand, striking the subway platform with a sharp crack as he heard the words:
"The patient hasn't regained consciousness yet."
In that moment, he couldn't think.
No time to change clothes.
No time to pack his bags.
All he knew was that he had to get back. He had to see Jungkook immediately.
During the flight of over ten hours, Taehyung couldn't sleep. The moment he closed his eyes, Jungkook's face would appear. His laughter. And that snowy day when Jungkook stood beneath the falling flakes, gazing at him for the longest time before asking in a trembling voice:
"Have you really never liked me?"
Taehyung hadn't been able to answer then. Because he truly didn't know.
He had fallen for Jungkook long before he ever admitted it.
He missed him after only one day apart.
He loved hearing him ramble.
He loved those ridiculous 3 a.m. goodnight texts.
He loved the way Jungkook would always come running to him, eyes shining so brightly.
But Taehyung had never imagined himself loving another man.
And so, he stepped back. He chose the most cowardly path.
He rejected him, then fled to France like a coward running away.
He thought distance would cool things down.
But it didn't.
Paris was breathtaking. That only made the loneliness worse.
There were nights he walked alone along the banks of the Seine in sub-zero temperatures, his earphones playing an old voice message from Jungkook on repeat:
"Have you eaten yet?"
"Don't stay up too late."
"I miss you so much."
That voice was like a blunt knife, carving into him inch by inch.
Taehyung had lived like that for two years.
Not daring to return.
Not daring to reach out too often.
Yet never able to forget him.
In the deep, boundless abyss of his coma, Jungkook dreamed constantly.
They were dreams so beautiful they ached.
He dreamed of sitting with Taehyung on the last bus of the day, Taehyung's head resting gently against his hair.
He dreamed of Taehyung waiting in the rain with his familiar black umbrella.
He dreamed of Taehyung's hand brushing the back of his neck whenever they crossed a busy street.
Everything was so tender that Jungkook always forgot it was just a dream.
Until the very end.
It was always the same.
Taehyung would leave.
He would turn around, his figure receding into the snow-swept airport.
Jungkook would run.
He would scream his name.
But his throat felt constricted, strangled, unable to make a sound.
He could only watch that retreating back vanish.
Over and over again.
The dreams repeated like a curse.
Exquisite.
Then shattered.
~
Taehyung slipped open the hospital door very quietly around three in the morning.
He had just returned from a convenience store, carrying a cup of coffee that had long since gone lukewarm.
Tonight, the rain in Seoul was heavy.
The shoulders of his coat were damp with droplets.
Taehyung sat down beside the bed, staring at Jungkook for a long, quiet moment.
"You know, baby..." His voice was barely a whisper. "Paris wasn't anything special."
He let out a dry, hollow laugh. "I used to think that as long as I kept my distance from you, I'd be fine."
"But everywhere I go, I see you, Jungkookie." He leaned his head back against the chair, his eyes bloodshot from sleep deprivation.
"Once, I was standing in a supermarket near the university, and I saw the banana milk you love..."
"I stood there for nearly ten minutes."
"Just because I missed you, Jungkookie."
The room was so quiet that the sound of the rain outside the window filled the silence. Taehyung looked down at Jungkook.
Something in his eyes broke.
"I never hated you."
"I never thought you were strange."
"I was just... scared."
I was afraid of what people would think.
I was afraid of my family.
I was afraid of myself.
I was afraid I'd only hurt you even more.
But it was only when he heard that Jungkook was lying here, unconscious, that Taehyung finally understood.
The scariest thing wasn't loving a man.
It was the reality that he could lose Jungkook forever.
Time marched on.
Taehyung practically lived at the hospital. The nurses grew so familiar with his face that they stopped questioning his presence. He slept on the small cot reserved for family members.
He got by on instant cup noodles. Occasionally, he would open his laptop to handle work, only to look up at Jungkook a second later, terrified that if he took his eyes off him for even a moment, Jungkook would vanish.
Some nights, Taehyung would bolt upright in a cold sweat from nightmares. He dreamed he had arrived too late.
He dreamed the hospital room was empty.
He dreamed of Jungkook standing in a flurry of white snow, looking at him with despairing eyes and asking:
"Are you really leaving me behind?"
Every single time, Taehyung would scramble up to check his breathing. Only when he saw the faint, gentle rise and fall of Jungkook's chest could he finally breathe again.
He had never known he could love someone to this extent.
On the day Jungkook woke up, the Seoul sky was remarkably clear.
The early spring sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft, warm golden glow over the room.
Jungkook opened his eyes very slowly. His head throbbed with a tearing pain.
Everything was a blur.
The smell of antiseptic.
The hum of machines.
The cold, white light.
It took him a long moment to realize he was still alive.
Then, Jungkook saw Taehyung.
He was fast asleep, slumped over the edge of the bed.
His shirt was rumpled, his hair a disheveled mess, and the dark circles under his eyes were so deep it looked as though he hadn't slept properly in ages.
Jungkook stared at him blankly.
Something twisted painfully inside his chest.
Here it was again.
Another dream.
It was always like this.
Taehyung would always appear with a heartbreaking tenderness at the beginning of the dream, only to leave in the end without looking back.
Jungkook felt a lump form in his throat:
Please, don't... don't be so kind to me... You cut ties with me... Taehyungie... If you're going to leave anyway, don't show up like this...
He closed his eyes.
A silent tear slipped down his temple.
The slight movement startled Taehyung awake. The moment he saw Jungkook's open eyes, his entire body froze.
The glass of water in his hand slipped, shattering on the floor. Taehyung scrambled up so quickly he almost stumbled.
"Jungkookie..."
His voice shook violently.
He stood there, staring at him as if he couldn't dare believe this was real.
His red-rimmed eyes quickly filled with tears.
Taehyung leaned down, his hands trembling so much he didn't even dare to touch him.
"Jungkookie..."
"You're really awake..."
He let out a breathless laugh, but his throat choked up, on the verge of tears.
"I... I..." The unfinished sentence caught in his throat.
Taehyung bowed his head low, his shoulders shaking slightly.
For the past half-year, he hadn't cried once.
No matter how desperate he felt, he had only endured in silence.
But right now, seeing Jungkook open his eyes, the dam holding back his long-repressed emotions completely collapsed.
He gently took Jungkook's hand.
It was warm.
For the first time in six months, that hand was no longer cold like someone who had departed from this world.
Taehyung closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against the back of Jungkook's hand.
"...Don't leave me waiting that long again," he said, his voice thick and hoarse. "I'm right here."
Outside the window, a spring breeze gently brushed through the pale green leaves.
And Jungkook only stared quietly at the man bowing before him.
His mind was in such utter turmoil that he could no longer distinguish reality from illusion.
Because in every beautiful dream he'd ever had, Taehyung had always left. He had never stayed this long before.
~~~
https://youtu.be/ZeWvMDLsw4Q
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen3h.Co