Kabanata 15
Kabanata 15
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
BULLET
The sound of the engine roared to life. I looked ahead my goal and tilted my head.
"All good?" ani Jayden na nakatayo sa gilid ko kasama si Claudine na inaayos ang eye glasses niya.
Hindi ako sumagot. I checked my gear to make sure I'm all good to go.
Riding jacket and pants, boots, googles, gloves. Knee and elbow braces. Check.
Tumango ako at mas pinatunog ang dirt bike.
"I don't feel good about this," Claudine mumbled.
Sinulyapan ko siya, "why not? I always play motocross."
"I know," she bit her lip, "but you're pissed! It's not good when you're playing annoyed—"
Umiling ako at ibinalik ang tingin sa dirt track, "who cares,"
"Bullet," ani Jayden. "Claudine's right, you're not in good condition to play."
"Am I not?" Iritado ko siyang sinulyapan, "how will you know I'm not? Kayo ba ako?"
Mas dumiin ang tingin niya sa 'kin, "no, but you are pissed. I don't know why. Isang linggo ka nang ganyan."
"She's always pissed," gatong ni Claudine. I agreed.
Tinanguan ko siya. She beamed.
"See?" Ngisi niya, "she's always pissed."
Jayden stared at her intently as if he couldn't believe what she's saying. She opened the topic about how pissed I am and now she's proud to say I'm always pissed—nothing new.
"Seriously, Clau?" He shook his head, "we're supposed to stop her from killing herself—"
"Death's beautiful," I answered back.
He frowned. I smirked.
"Kaya naman niya 'yan, Jayden," ani Clau na nag-ibang panig na bigla. "Remember last year? She joined motocross! Pissed! Kasi 'di ba nagasgasan 'yong bagong bike niya?"
"Yeah, she was really aggressive," tinapunan ako ng tingin ni Jayden.
"I still won," I answered.
"You almost flew out of your bike!" He pointed out.
"Almost," I emphasized. "But I didn't."
"She still won," Gatong ni Claudine at nagkatinginan kaming dalawa.
"Right?" I offered her my hand. Amazed, she gasped and gave me a high-five.
"Yes! She could do it, Jay!" She exclaimed, "stop being grumpy!"
Jayden looked down at her seriously. Claudine paused and blushed.
I shook my head.
P'wede nang gawing movie. Popcorn na lang ang kulang.
"Ready?" The host called.
"I can do this," I told the two who's now busy bickering and fighting whatever it is.
"Bullet," tawag niya. "What if you'll get into an accident? You still have a mission—"
"I'll die one way or another, Dagger," I called him by his other identity. He stiffened.
"Bullet..." Claudine called.
I shrugged, "if I die, then, good riddance for boss. If I don't?"
Hindi ako umimik ng matagal at unti-unting ngumiti sa kanila, "then, bad for him."
Before they could even utter another word, I closed my full face helmet and gripped the handlebar of my dirt bike.
Multiple sounds of buzzing and roars from dirt bikes intertwined, playing aggressively like a rhythm inside my head.
Beautiful. Music to my ears.
I clenched my jaw, relaxing my shoulders and body. Once these gates went all down, it's all up to me if I want to win this race.
Relax, Bullet. Don't get pissed now. You should win.
I always win.
The moment the gates went down, I was already releasing the clutch and driving with no hesitations and in a matter of seconds, I'm already leading the holeshot.
The crowd roared. It only heightened my adrenaline.
I maneuvered my bike, riding with the bike almost flying up in the air to get through the uneven terrain and whoops.
I heard the roar just behind me. I can't let anyone get past me so I cocked a brow and got high with the adrenaline and the rush of blood pumping inside my chest.
I aimed for the center of each bumps, riding along the tops of them. I didn't dip too much to not lose control over the backend of my bike.
Getting through the obstacles and whoops is a matter of trust. You can't see where you'll be landing when you're up in the air. It's either you'll land smoothly or land flying in the air with the possibility of dislocated bones. If you're lucky, death.
But that's what makes motocross more exciting for me. The lingering taste of death and the possibility of taking a sip on it can makes me so high. It's inviting but it will be exciting trying to evade it.
My bike was heavier than the regular dirt bike to push or pull but it was faster and quicker. I can feel my insides jumping. Like what people are describing when they ride extreme rides in amusement parks.
I always wanna try and go see amusement parks. Hindi pa ako nakapunta roon.
Maganda kaya sa personal? Sa picture kasi ay makulay at mukhang masaya.
I almost lose my control when a rider came beside me and tried shaking me off my bike, tricking me into falling.
Asshole.
"Better luck next time, Bullet!" sigaw niya nang mauna sa 'kin.
My jaw clenched. Mas binilisan ko ang paandar ng bike at walang hirap na hinabol siya.
He saw what I'm trying to do, he laughed.
"Piss off, girl! You can't win this time!" sigaw niya. "This is a men's sport! Not for whinny bitches like you!"
"Can't I?" Bulong ko at inikot ang tingin sa track.
I won't let go of an opportunity once I saw one and right now? I did.
I let some of the riders drove past me. The asshole leading was so happy he slowed his pace, probably thinking no one could get ahead him this time.
Idiot.
His moves are so fucking predictable.
I inserted myself cautiously in between other riders, keeping safe distance to not get them involved with my devious ones. I hid behind some and when opportunity came and we're almost in the last lap, I appeared like a ghost just beside the asshole.
"Hi! Missed me?" I asked loudly.
Nagmura siya sa gulat. Rinig na rinig ko iyon.
Because he was so focused on me, he didn't notice the whoops ahead, making him startle and lose control.
He fell out of his bike and rolled on the ground.
"Fuck you!" I heard his groan as he screamed. I smiled wickedly.
"Who's a whiny bitch now?" I asked loudly as I got past the finish line.
The checkered flag was raised. I fucking won.
No sweat.
There are things I've learned in years working in the field where men are superior is that, they hated losing over women. They despised it.
Not generalizing but most of them, for what I've seen falls in that one category.
Men like women weak so they could be superheroes, they wanted damsel in distress so they could protect them.
Protect. The term used to disguise their egotistical asses. They just can't accept we're equal of them.
Like this one.
I received my prize. My medal and of course, cash and he's been leering at me below the platform like a creep.
I heard from Claudine he's been spreading how I cheated on the race. How I planned to take him out as if he didn't do it first.
"Congratulations, Bullet!" The head of the event called my attention, "why don't you officially join us? You are so good!"
"Nah," umiling ako. "I'm just racing for fun."
"Oh, too bad," bumuntonghininga siya at nag-open ulit ng topic tungkol sa karera.
I'm not really into talking. Puro tango lang ako at prenteng ngiti kaya laking pasalamat ko nang lumitaw sina Jayden at Claudine para iligtas ako sa lumalaking usapan.
Damn it. My head's exploding already.
"Water," inabutan ako ng tubig ni Claud.
"Thanks," I mumbled and drank from the bottle.
"Idiot's making a scene," ani Jayden at nang sundan ko ang direksyon ng tingin niya'y nagwawala na ang lalaki't nagpupumilit lumapit.
I sighed, "let me—"
"No," the two of them pushed me back on my chair.
"What? Kakausapin ko lang—"
"Talk and not kill, Bullet," ani Jayden.
Tumaas ang kilay ko. Pasimpleng pinalo ni Claudine ang kamay kong paabot na sana ng kutsilyo.
I groaned.
"Fine!" Bumagsak ako ng upo at humalukipkip.
"Ako na ang kakausap," aniya. "Behave, Bullet. Maraming mata sa paligid."
When he left for the commotion, kinalabit ako ni Claudine.
"I have new info regarding..." her brows shot up, "would you like to see or...?"
"Give me," nilahad ko ang kamay.
Sighing, she took her tablet from her bag and looked around.
"There's no CCTV around here," I assured her. "And if the boss' assholes tried to question you 'bout this, don't worry. They can't go near you without their throats slit."
Namilog ang mata niya.
"What?" I asked blankly.
She gasped, "how could you say that with a straight face?!"
Ngumiwi ako, "wouldn't it be creepier if I smile?"
Napaisip siya at biglang napahawak sa braso, "you're right. Don't smile while saying it, I don't want nightmares!"
Umiling na lang ako.
She's always the softer one from the three of us. She only wants to stare at her computer and hack her way out of things. Lumalabas lang naman ito kapag may role ako para sa kanya kapag may sideline kami bilang con artists.
Yeah, why not?
We've con a lot of people. Too much to even count. Usually from rich clients who wanted to get even to their partners or husband's cheating asses.
"Show me,"
Sumandal din siya at mabilis na tumipa sa tablet bago iniabot sa akin.
"I looked for a Theia from Zion Sandejas' university," aniya. "This is the only woman I saw. Theia Dominguez. She has the same year as Zion."
She swiped the profile and saw a lady.
Nagsalubong ang kilay ko.
"That's not her," I answered.
"Exactly," tumango siya. "I tried searching for the same name, Thea, but mostly it's from the lower years."
"Photos?"
"No need," umiling siya. "No one had the same face as that wedding photo you've sent me."
I thought I will get answers, it only confused me more. Sinuklay ko ang buhok at pagod na ipinikit ang mata.
"But that's not all," hirit niya.
I frowned, "why not tell me immediately, Claudine?"
Tumawa siya, "para may suspense! Ito naman!" Pinindot niya ang tablet at nag-refresh iyon matapos ang ilang segundo.
Napaayos ako ng tayo nang makita ang pamilyar na mukha ng babae sa litrato.
"Is this..."
"Theia Dominguez," she answered me. I blinked.
"Did you mean to say..."
"Possibly," she mumbled. "I mean, yes. Why would the picture from another lady would be exchanged with her face, right? She probably assumed someone's identity."
My jaw ticked.
"Why don't we know this?"
"Her face or records wasn't in the database, any database. Identification, criminal, kahit saan. That's the only photo I've got from the university's archive."
Bumilis ang kalabog ng dibdib ko.
"She stole someone's identity," I whispered. "Where's the other girl?"
She shrugged, "don't know. Upon researching, that photo in the yearbook is a dead end. No info about her or with the real Theia. The details, address or even contact number wasn't existing anymore. Like what we knew from the start, she just vanished."
Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko.
"How 'bout the chapel? Did you know where it was taken?"
"Hmm..." she took the tablet then showed me the place. My head ached the same time my heart race upon seeing the chapel.
St. Pancratius Chapel from Paco, Manila.
Bumilis ang paghinga ko't napahawak sa ulo nang maramdaman ang biglaang kirot doon. It felt like someone's hammering from the inside.
"Bullet?" She called, "are you—"
"Y-yeah," umiwas ako sa hawak niya at tumango, "I'm fine."
"Bakit ka nakahawak sa ulo mo? May masakit?" Worry filled her voice, "was it the race? Shit, dapat 'di ka na lumaban—"
"I'm fine," I breathed loudly and heaved a deep sigh. "I just need some time..."
"Time for?"
Umiling ako, "I'm okay. I'll go to the chapel."
"Oh..." tumango siya, "let me send you the address,"
"I know where it was," I answered and stood. "Thanks, Clau. Please, tell Jayden my thanks. I gotta go first."
I went to the parking and rode my bike, was on my way to the chapel when Jayden called about the boss wanting some updates so instead of going to the chapel, inuna kong puntahan si Wyatt.
The way the people around stiffened with the sight of me made me somehow proud. It only shows how afraid they are of Scythe and I'll use that terror so they can't touch me.
For a long time, it was effective. I hope it stayed the same until Wyatt's choking on his own blood.
I got to the office and saw Wyatt sitting on his swivel chair, tapping his tobacco in the ash tray.
"Oh! If it wasn't my favorite girl," he smiled widely, his voice lacing with sarcasm.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Impatient, I see," ngumisi siya at sinuklay ang namumuting buhok. "We haven't seen each other for a month, Scythe. Won't you even ask how was I?"
No thanks, I'd rather kill you.
"Or perhaps, how are you?" His wrinkled skin creased as he grinned at me. When I didn't grin or reacted back, his amusement faded.
"Any updates?" He asked.
I knew he's gonna ask.
"None," I deadpan answered. "I was still looking for that girl. Found out her name is Theia."
Tumaas ang kilay niya, "Theia...nice name. And?"
"She's the same year as Zion Sandejas back in college. She probably stole someone else's identity. Her name wasn't really Theia Dominguez."
Tumaas ang sulok ng labi niya, "I see you knew things now. Who helped you?"
"Do you think I need help?" I asked blankly, my face not giving away any info. Don't want to involve Claudine in all this.
"Oh, of course not," his jaw clenched, probably pissed of my attitude. "Well, I guess you don't need this?"
When he lifted an envelope, I was stunned but didn't let it show.
There's nothing I want Wyatt to hold against me. If he found out how interested I was with that Theia, he'd use it.
"What's that?"
"Theia Dominguez," aniya at inilapag ang envelope sa lamesa. "A.K.A. The Duchess."
My heart raced. I lifted my hand to take the envelope when he pulled it back and pointed the seat in front of him.
"Not so fast, Scythe. Sit,"
I was so pissed I just wanted to shoot him and take the envelope for myself but didn't. Kalmado akong umupo.
I crossed my legs and glanced at him, "you've been researching for her?"
"Oh, I know everything about her, Bullet." Tumawa siya at muling inilapit sa labi ang tobacco. "I know everything about this bitch."
I clenched my fist, "then why—"
He blew smoke in the air, lifting her finger to stop me.
"I was amused watching you do things. For the first time, Scythe's being shitty about a job, it's amusing to see."
Fuck you, Wyatt.
I narrowed a cold look at him.
"And?"
"I got bored," he shrugged, "figured I should just let you know. After all this time, you just found out her name. Boring."
Inilapag niya ang envelope pabalik sa lamesa pero bago ko pa makuha ay ipinatong niya ang kamay.
"If you want to see this, you'll have to do something for me, Scythe."
"I always do something for you, boss," I emphasized the last word.
"Good girl," tumango-tango siya't tumawa, "here, it's yours."
I took the envelope and opened it, seeing the familiar face of the woman made my heart raced.
It was a new photo, iba sa mga nakita ko kanina at sa wedding picture. She looks younger here, and there's another one while she's staring blankly at the camera, blood spluttered on her face.
"She's one of us," I concluded.
She nodded, "The Duchess," he repeated. "The traitor."
Blood raced inside my chest.
"What do you mean?" Sinalubong ko ang tingin niya.
"She's a whistleblower," he stared at me with disgust, "turns out the bitch is a slut. Probably got a taste of your husband's dick and swayed."
My fists clenched.
"Oh, sorry," he laughed as if he realized something, "are you like that, too? Got a taste of his dick—"
"Does that supposed to make me jealous, Wyatt?" I asked blankly. His smile faded. "Do you expect me to cry and weep like a teenager? Does that supposed to make me throw a fit and stab anyone on sight? In that case, I could do it for you, boss. There's no one here but us and I'm a jealous wife, I'll probably stab the first person I see. You? I'm sure they'd understand..."
I smiled coldly, my eyes not leaving his.
I can smell his fear. Sweet.
He was startled but masked it with his a shrug, "won't it? Seeing it's been a while since I gave you the job and you still can't give me something."
"Do it yourself, then," I lifted my hand and referred to his direction. "Won't mind."
Once again, he was staring at me wide-eyed and enraged.
I almost made a face. Sumandal ako sa upuan at nilipat-lipat ang papel sa files ni Theia Dominguez.
She's really beautiful. She looked sweet. Probably why Zion liked her—perhaps even loved.
What, Bullet, you expect Zion to love you, too? Bullshit.
"Tell me, boss," I hummed, "how did this lady became what? The Duchess? Haven't heard of her before."
"No one knew the traitor but the higher ups, me and my son," the edge was still visible in his voice, "and who wants to talk and remember about a traitor, huh?"
"Why not?" I taunt and stared at him, "she's a proof your agency's a shit."
A hard slap came across my cheek. Pumaling ang ulo ko sa lakas.
"Fuck you," he groaned. "You...you!" Dinuro niya ako.
I tilted my head and met his gaze, "I what?" I licked the blood off my lips, the metallic taste filling my tongue.
"I gave you food! A fucking roof above your head, Scythe!" He screamed on my face.
A roof? As long as I remember, that cage doesn't have one.
"I gave you home! I gave you clothes! I trained you to be my soldier and this is what you'll give me?"
Home? Wasn't this my personal hell?
He was shaking in so much anger, pointing me.
"I invested a lot! For you!" Dinuro niya ako at paulit-ulit na tinulak ang noo ko gamit ang daliri niya.
I remained unfazed, watching him blankly. It only pissed him off.
He walked towards me. I watched him struggle a bit with the help of his cane.
I wanted to ask if he needed help. Tutulungan ko sanang akayin palapit at kawawa naman.
Nirarayuma na ang matandang hukluban.
When he reached me, he grabbed my face to grip my jaw. He tilted my head up so I could see the visible rage on his face.
I didn't even flinch.
"You will follow whatever I tell you, you understand?!" He screamed on my face. Tumalsik ang laway niya.
Fucking hell?
Frowning and annoyed, I nonchalantly wiped the droplets off my face while staring directly at him, showing him I'm disgusted.
He was in fury now.
"Bitch!" He slapped me again. It stung. I didn't react.
"I gave you everything! You are mine, you understand?!" He screamed. "I invested a lot for you and this is how you repay me, you fucking cunt?"
These assholes didn't have any unique insults left.
Was this supposed to scare me?
"I—we—paid so much for you." Mariing ulit niya, "you do what I tell you, okay, child? I. Own. You."
I know when to press or not so I didn't. I had enough slap for today and as much as it didn't bother me, I don't want Twinkle or my husband to see this.
Nakipaglaban ako ng tingin sa kanya at alam niyang 'di ako magpapatalo kaya doon na niya tinulak ang panga ko bago umatras. He touched his hair, his jaw clenching.
"I want you to obtain a USB for me," he started as he calmed down and sat back on his swivel.
"What USB?"
"You don't have to know,"
"If this was about their transactions, I already gave it to you—"
"No questions, child," he slammed his cane on the floor. "You do as I tell you."
My jaw ticked, "and if I don't?"
"Then, I'll kill your family," he smiled.
My heart stopped.
"What did you say?" I asked calmly with my heart clenching inside my chest, knocking my ribcage harshly.
Was he fooling me? He's playing me wasn't he?
"I forgot to tell you," he chuckled with amusement. "But you have a family, the last time they saw you was what...you're three? Four?"
Napatayo ako at malakas na hinampas ang lamesa, "what the fuck did you say?!" My voice seethed with anger and desperation.
"Oh, finally," tumawa siya. "The Scythe's finally losing her temper. Calm down, Bullet."
I didn't. Hinila ko ang kwelyo niya at hinatak siya palapit sa akin.
"What do you mean I have a family?!" My voice trembled.
"Let go, Scythe," mariing utos niya.
I gripped his collar more, my palms fisting harder.
"Let go!"
"I have a family?" I heard my trembling voice asking.
"Let go and I'll tell you," he commanded. I didn't. "Do it, child! Unless you want me to just kill them now? I can make one call...one call and they'll be dead—"
Marahas kong binitawan ang kwelyo niya. He almost fell back on his swivel and cursed. I stared at him intently, my eyes burning in anger, in pain. In confusion.
"Where are they?" My jaw clenched.
"You'll know," he smirked when he recovered and got the upper hand. "Once you finished your job."
"What do you mean?"
"Finish the job," aniya. "I want it as soon as possible. Destroy DEA. Kill the Reaper. For now, give me the USB and I'll tell you more."
Muli siyang tumayo at inilapit ang mukha sa 'kin para bumulong, "maybe if you kill Theia in front of your husband, I might let you see them."
He left me there alone, seething with rage. Confused if he's telling the truth or twisting my mind in his advantage.
I got out of his office a few minutes later after sending Claudine the new information I had with Theia Dominguez.
All eyes are on me when I stepped out. The laughers faded from the new fucking investors Wyatt Anderson got. Nawala ang ngiti niya pagkakita sa 'kin.
"Who's this chick, boss?" I stiffened when I felt a palm slapping my ass from behind.
Silence filled the room.
"Joe," mariing tawag ni Wyatt. "You don't want to do that," I heard the warning on his voice.
I looked back and saw a man just as my age, probably older by one or two.
Amusement danced on his eyes when he met my gaze. He whistled.
"Hi, Blondie," he grinned at me. "Wanna fuck? I'll do you real good."
I remained neutral but inside my head, I'm a ticking bomb waiting to fucking explode.
"Joe," Wyatt called again. "Let's go," he demanded but the asshole's digging his own grave.
He grinned.
"Why?"
Umiling si Wyatt, "stop. You don't wanna touch her—"
"Oh, I do," mapang-uyam siyang natawa. He looked disgusting. "Who wouldn't want to touch that ass? And those boobs..." he whistled, "they're round, huh? Retoke ba 'yan?"
I didn't answer. I just watch him take a shovel to dig his own burial six-feet under.
"Joe!"
"No, uncle," tumawa siya. "She looks so into it, too. Darling," he took a step closer to me. "Let's fuck."
"Oh," slowly, I gave a sweet smile. Mas lumiwanag ang mukha niya. Narinig ko ang malalalim na paghugot ng hininga ng mga nasa paligid at kilala ako. "I can fuck you up, real good."
He moaned like a trapped rat. I cringed.
I can't help but compare his trying hard one to my husband's sexier ones. When he moaned? I'm on my fucking knees. But this? Hell, I'll knee him in between his micro dick.
"Sweet," he hummed and took another dangerous step closer.
"Joe!"
"Shh," inangat niya ang daliri, "she's a sweet girl. Beautiful. Sexy." He maliciously eyed my body like a sick fuck. "Can't wait to see your cunt, darling."
He lifted his palm, was about to grab my breasts when I grabbed him first. I twisted his palm, caught the other aiming to reach me and caged it on his behind.
"Fuck!" He screamed and when he tried dodging my attacks, I cornered him in one swift move, kneeling his knees from behind. He lost balance, slamming him face first on the wood table in front of us.
He groaned.
"Grab her!" Sigaw ni Wyatt.
While I was caging his idiot nephew, I lifted my palm and stared blankly at his guards. They stopped midway when they saw me looking.
They retreated.
Who are cunts now, huh?
"What are you doing?!" Sigaw no'ng Joe. "Let me go! Uncle, help! This bitch—"
I slammed his face again, "shh, quiet," and again. And again and again.
The sound of skull cracking filled my ears.
Ahh...eargasm.
"Scythe!" Galit na sigaw ni Wyatt, "let go of him!"
I just smiled like a psycho.
Genuine fear filled everyone's eyes.
"W-what are you doing?! Help!" Joe was already choking out of air. "That's just a fucking girl, come on!"
He managed to get one hand out from my grip. Nahuli ko ang kutsilyo sa lamesa sa tapat lang ng ulo niya at bago pa man niya maabot 'yon ay tinuhod ko ang lamesa.
It shook and fell slightly on my side, the knife slipping from him towards my grip. He cursed.
"Shit!" His bloodshot eyes met mine, "fuck you—"
I lifted my palm and stabbed his free hand on the table. Tumagos iyon sa lamesa. His terrified cries and screams filled the space.
"Aww, did I satisfy you enough, darling?" I purred on his ear and when he answered me again with screams and cries, tinulak ko ang ulo niya. "Aww, you're boring."
Tumayo ako. Nagsiatrasan sila.
"Anyone else wanted to fuck?" I asked loudly with a smile.
No one answered. Wyatt glared at me.
"Oh, alright," I shrugged and smiled again, brushing my blonde strands. Lahat sila ay napatulala sa lalaking umiiyak sa lamesa, ang kamay ay nakapako ng kutsilyo.
"Don't worry, he won't die," I said then walked closer to the raging Wyatt, moving my face closer to him to whisper. "You don't own me, boss."
I walked out of the agency with nothing but silence and fear from behind. I rode my bike, secured the envelope, driving towards the chapel.
I haven't gone inside the place ever since I trained and got into the country but I knew the way, I remembered sitting outside in the bench whenever I'm stressed or I wanted escape.
It just feels so close to my heart, maybe because there's also a cemetery and my heart's working but barely living. Maybe it's dead, too.
I looked up and felt the air brushing my skin. It's almost six in the afternoon. Tahimik ang lugar at mula sa pwesto ko'y kitang-kita ang paglabas ng bagong kasal.
I looked away when the bride and groom kissed, avoiding the image of Zion and his mysterious wife kissing like that before when they got married.
I flipped the folder open and stared at the now familiar face of Theia. The photo wasn't that clear for it was taken a long time ago but I can see she's beautiful. Rich black hair. A pair of black, soulless eyes.
Unlike what I've seen in the wedding photo. She looks so alive there. In this one, she was like an empty shell. It reminded me of me.
I scratched my cheek.
Damn it. I need to see my dermatologist. This is happening more often.
I was groaning inside my head when my eyes got stuck on Theia's beauty mark. On her cheek.
Hinaplos ko iyon at tinitigan.
Who are you? Are you still alive? Is my family alive?
Am I alive?
I clutched my empty chest as my phone vibrated. Inabot ko iyon. I saw countless messages from my husband asking me where I was after I left the office at noon.
Hindi ako nagsabi saan ako pupunta. I just told Jackie I had some stuff to do and left.
I chose to open one voice message and his voice filled my ear.
"Hi, hun. I looked for you after the meeting but you're gone. Where are you, baby? Kumain ka na ba? I'll wait for you for lunch. I cooked us food. Marami 'to."
I scrolled and realized he sent more than one.
"It's past lunch, I hope you've eaten. Kakain na rin ako but don't worry! I'll cook again tomorrow and we can eat together at lunch," I heard him sigh. "Are we okay, Tish?"
The voice message stopped. I pressed the next one.
"I hope we are, baby. I missed you."
I hated it. Hated that my heart's aching with the visible pain in his voice.
"Hun, Twinkle's here! Yay! Hinahanap ka, umiyak no'ng pagdating niya wala ka. Mom and Dad's traveling again kaya atin muna ulit itong makulit na bunso. She was rolling on the floor like what? Burrito you say? She said she won't stop rolling until she sees you. Please, come back."
"Gusto ko 'Te Bullet! Gusto! Gusto!" My eyes dilated when in the next one, Twinkle's voice filled my ear. "Ayaw ko na pangit! Gusto ko Ate!"
"Come on, princess. Ate's just busy, hmm? She'll be here soon." Marahang sagot niya, "She'll be here."
She sniffed, "w-wreally, K-Kuya?"
"Yes," he soothed. "May work lang si Ate na pinagawa ni Kuya kaya—" he growled the same time I heard a smack.
"Why mo bigay work ang Ate ko!" She screamed.
"Princess—"
"Ate Bullet!" She cried and her tiny voice made my heart clench. "U-uwi na ikaw...miss...miss ka Twinkle."
I pressed the last one.
"Honey, we're on our way to the house now. She fell asleep, crying," he sounded desperate now, "Where are you? Tell me, I can fetch you. Just come home, please? I'm worried."
My hands are trembling as I pressed the button to send a voice message back but hesitated. In the end, I didn't sent one back.
Ever since that day, I was inside my shell again. Shutting everyone out. Zion sought for me, he was there every morning, with breakfast prepared for me which I never touch.
I'll tell him I have to photocopy, print, fax—whatever excuse I could come up with just to avoid him like a fool.
I'm not ready for a conversation and he knew that.
"Tish," he called gently, "are we okay?"
I nodded stiffly, "we're okay." Then I'll retreat to the comfort of my room and lock myself out.
He gave me space but every time, every night our eyes would meet. He'd come closer and try talking but I do what I'm good at. Running away.
I'm a stupid coward. I know.
But how will I react after hearing my husband call someone's name in his sleep? Was it his fault? No. Am I mad at him? Maybe?
But the only thing I'm sure was that I'm mad at myself. Mad that the caged I barricaded myself with melted.
I hated that I'm jealous. I hated how possessive I am with him and Twinkle. I hated that I don't want anyone outside our little bubble coming in.
If Theia came back, will they be together? Will Twinkle like her more as a sister? Kasi mabait siya? Tapos ako, masama ang ugali ko?
Saan ako pagkatapos? I don't have anyone! I only have him and the little bundle of joy...and our home.
I hated that I feel something.
Instead, I clicked the email I got from Claudine. Everything she found out about the Duchess is here.
She was a trained spy and assassin before. She assumed Theia Dominguez's identity, an orphan. They said she died in a freak accident but I know better. She was killed for this woman.
The agency favored The Duchess' skills but she got involved with Zion Sandejas. They gave her a mission to kill him. She didn't.
Instead, she became a whistleblower to DEA. Reasons why the agency fucked up and vanished for a couple of times—moving their hideout from one place to another.
When they caught her, she was punished and just like that, she disappeared in the face of the earth.
She's dead.
I didn't feel anything. I was numb inside.
I was neither happy or sad—I just felt so hollow.
"It's suspicious," ani Clau. "I don't think the agency would just kill her like that. I'm sure they won't just get rid of a weapon like that."
"She's not a weapon, Clau. That's a person," malamig kong sagot.
She stopped, "o-oh, sorry...yeah, you're right. She's a person. We're human." She chuckled lowly, "sorry, I just got used to them using us like some kind of machine I've forgotten we still have feelings."
"Maybe we're not," I mumbled and closed my eyes. "I gotta go, Clau. I'm in the chapel."
"Oh...you went?"
"Hmm, bye."
My eyes went back to the chapel. Isinara ko ang folder at itinago bago nagtungo sa chapel.
I'm nervous. I often think I can't go inside the chapel for I wasn't welcome here. I kill people for a living, I torture people for information. I'm a murderer.
I used to think I'll probably get burned if I got inside sacred places like this. I'm not even sure if I believe there's someone above looking at for I have lost faith that night I weeped inside the dog case.
If he's there then why is everyone's life normal but I don't?
A step inside and I'm having goosebumps.
The scent of flowers assaulted my senses. The white petals are still scattered on the red carpet in the floor towards the altar. The porcelain replica of saints stared back at me. My head throbbed.
My eyes dropped down on my foot as I followed the petals towards the center. My eyes are now blurry with my black blood stained boots replacing with a silver sandals. My black leather pants was replaced with pure, white dress.
I shut my eyes closed and clutched my head.
I'm hallucinating now, aren't I? Oh, I still haven't eaten a meal this day.
Kaya baka ako nahihilo.
I shut my eyes closed and heaved a sigh, scratching my cheek.
I continued walking, tripping on my own heels. Fuck, why am I wearing heels?!
The sweet, soft love song was ringing inside my head. I lifted my head to the altar when I met Zion's blue eyes.
He smiled handsomely and wiped something from his cheek.
I tried stopping from walking but couldn't, my feet had a mind of its own. Tinitigan ko si Zion at napansin ang maiksi niyang buhok.
He's sporting a clean cut now, looking dashing on his outfit.
"That's my wife," he said loudly the nuns giggled.
My breath labored.
What the hell is happening?
When I reached the altar, he's already offering his palm at me.
"Come 'er, my love," he said, his bright blue eyes twinkling with excitement.
Umawang ang labi ko para magsalita pero nakuha na niya ang kamay ko. I could feel the electricity coming in from the tips of his finger to mine.
"Father," he said. "This is Theia, misis ko..."
I heard a snap.
"Miss?" I jolted up in shock, my chest still moving up and down. "Ayos ka lang?"
I opened my eyes to find strangers looming over me.
"What happened?" Inikot ko ang tingin. Nasa chapel pa rin ako.
"Nawalan ka ng malay," ani no'ng lalaki. "Buti bumalik kami, nakita ka namin natumba sa gitna."
My eyes followed their fingers. It's in the altar.
"T-thanks," dali-dali akong tumayo.
"Miss? Sure kang ayos ka lang?" Tanong nila, "baka wala ka pang kain, magpahinga ka muna—"
"I-I'm fine," I scratched my cheek carelessly now, "pasensya na sa abala. T-thank you."
I left. Wala ako sa sarili habang nagmamaneho ng bike pauwi, tulala at gulong-gulo. I was now too attached of Zion it's fucking messing with my head.
Heck, Bullet. How could you replace yourself in Theia's place?
Their wedding wasn't even registered but I know it was a real one. The feelings they had for each other was vibrating I could almost feel it.
While ours? It's a farce.
I have a mission to do and with Wyatt holding my family against me...if ever I have one. I have to set my priorities straight. If I had to sail in between two boats, I would.
The guards might be expecting me at hindi pa ako nakakalapit sa gate ay nagbukas na iyon.
"Good evening, Ma'am," bati ng guard.
"Good evening," I nodded and parked my bike.
The lights are dim inside the house. The two's probably sleeping. Good.
I can't face them now.
Sinuklay ko ang buhok, nagpaplanong kumuha muna ng pagkain bago magkulong sa kwarto nang pagkapasok ko pa lang ay may narinig ko ang pag-galaw sa sofa.
I startled, was in full alert when from the darkness, a light emerges in the form of one large body and a small bundle on his arms.
A pair of sleepy amber and worried blue ones met mine.
"Ate!" She squealed sleepily.
Nagulat ako nang mula sa braso ni Zion ay pilit na inabot ako ni Twinkle at nang kunin ko siya'y yumakap siya sa leeg ko't bumulong.
"'Te...miss you..." her tiny voice whispered.
"Y-you're still awake?" Bulong ko pabalik, iniwas ang tingin kay Zion na matiim na nakatitig para sulyapan ang orasan. "It's almost eleven."
"Sad," she whispered back, "pangit, sad. Twinkle, sad..."
My eyes stung. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa maliit niyang kamay.
"Why?"
"Wala kasi po shi Ate," she hummed sleepily. "N-nag-cry ako po."
"What? Why?" My voice trembled.
Lumapit si Zion sa amin at sinalubong ko ang tingin niya nang nagsalubong ang kilay niya't inabot ang pisngi ko. I flinched and looked away. I caught his jaw clenched.
He's pissed.
"Miss...Ate," she said in a small voice, "cry Twinkle. Sad pangit."
When I glanced back at Zion, he was eyeing my cheek like he's enemy's in there.
Fuck, I might've scratched it too much? Or Wyatt's slap mark remained?
"Sorry," I whispered back, "sleep na, mahal. Dito lang si Ate."
I heard her smiling on my ear, "pwamis?" Her twisted words asked.
I nodded, "p-promise,"
"Pinky-pinky?" Medyo lumayo siya't ipinakita sa akin ang daliri.
Confused, I stared at it and realized what she's been trying to do.
"Pinky-pinky," I intertwined my fingers with hers.
"Yehey!" she giggled sleepily and kissed my cheek. "Twinkle happy! Pangit...pangit always."
Nakagat ko na ang labi ko at tumitig kung saan.
Inihatid ko si Twinkle sa kwarto matapos ng ilang saglit ay narinig ko ang mahina niyang hilik. Zion was behind us, following silently.
I tucked the little sunshine on her bed who seemingly wanted me close. She didn't let go of me that fast. Binulungan ko pa at hinaplos ang ulo paulit-ulit ang buhok bago niya ako binitawan.
When I'm sure she's sleeping soundly while hugging her favorite bunny stuff toy, I let her go after kissing her forehead.
"Sleep well, princess," I whispered, "I'm sorry..."
Sa pagtayo ko ay nakita ko si Zion na nakasandal na sa pader at pinapanuod ako. Dinaanan ko lang siya ng tingin at nilagpasan para lumabas.
I heard him follow me.
"Saan ka galing?" Mahinahon niyang tanong, "kumain ka na?"
"I'm not hungry," sagot ko at marahang naglakad nang tawagin niya 'kong muli.
"Are you sure? I'll cook for you, anong gusto mo? Give me five—"
"I'm full, Zion," bumuntonghininga ako. "Stop pestering me, I'm exhausted."
He stopped. My chest felt like someone's sticking needles inside. I thought I could go and leave when he spoke again.
"What happened to your cheek," he was hesitant to even ask. "Did someone hurt you? I..."
"I scratched it too hard, nothing important," nagtitimpi kong sagot, "let it go. Marami pang trabaho bukas."
I began stepping away again when I felt a grip on my wrist. I stopped and shifted my body to glare at him.
"What? Hindi pa ba tapos—"
"I love you, Tish," he said softly I could see his fragile soul pouring on his gaze.
I fell apart and just looked at him. He watched me, waiting for a reaction, a flinch. Anything.
I stared at him with amusement and smirked mockingly despite my heart clenching painfully.
"That's just lust speaking, hun. You'll get over it," I shrugged from his grip and turned my back heartlessly. The last thing I saw was a lone tear falling down his cheek.
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