Kabanata 16
Kabanata 16
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
ZION
"Nasasaktan ako, oh, baby! Sa t'wing nakikita ka!" The sound of my slurry drunk voice filled the whole karaoke room.
"Damn it, just shut him up," ungot ni Macky habang nakasandal sa sofa at nakatitig sa akin.
"Naninibugho ako, oh, baby! Kapag may kasama kang iba!" I continued.
"What happened? Did his wife cheated or something...?" Chiel asked.
Walang umimik kaya pasimple akong lumingon at nakita si Macky na may sinasabi na walang boses.
My eyes are blurry but I squinted it so I could see him clearly.
"Bas-ted," he mouthed to Chiel.
I snickered. He cleared his throat and raised his palms.
"I didn't say anything!"
"Nakita kita!" Singhal ko sabay turo sa kanya, "sabi mo, basted!"
"Oh, so basted nga?" Biglang lumitaw si Deion na inaayos pa ang salamin niya pagkapasok.
Hindi ako umimik. I heard the chorus ohhs from them.
"Anong nangyari?" Ani Chiel at 'di na ako sumagot at muling bumalik sa screen.
"Pagkat ikaw, ang tanging laman! Ng aking mundo! Ng aking puso!" I clutched my chest as I feel something wet soaking my check. "Ng aking buhayyy!"
"Oh, that's it. Stop him!" He groaned.
May humablot ng microphone sa kamay ko.
"Ano?!"
"Tama na," arms caught mine in either side, "lasing ka na, Zy."
"Hindi ako lasing!" I exclaimed loudly.
"That's my line," Alchiel scoffed, "h'wag mo 'kong agawan, tara dito!"
"Wala pa nga," I hissed, "gusto ko pang kantahin ang chorus—"
I almost choked when someone shoved a tissue inside my mouth.
"Fuck!" I coughed and pulled it out of my mouth when they let me go. "Malinis ba 'yon?!"
"Pinamunas sa lamesa," ani Macky. Binato ko sa kanya ang tissue na dumikit sa kamay niya.
"Tang ina ka, dugyot!" Sigaw niya sa 'kin sabay wasiwas ng kamay.
Tumalsik iyon at napunta kay Alchiel. Sunod-sunod ang mura niya. Ngumisi ako.
I shoved my middle finger in the air, "buti nga."
Pabagsak akong naupo pabalik sa upuan at ipinikit ng mariin ang mata bago nagmulat. Inabot ko ang ang alak sa lamesa at inisang tungga.
"Brokenhearted," ani Dei.
"Sino? Sinong brokenhearted?" I asked and laughed, "walang brokenhearted dito!"
"Brokenhearted nga," Chiel concluded, pinapaliguan ng alcohol ang braso niyang nadikitan ng tissue galing kay Macky.
Bumusangot ako.
"Maka-alcohol naman 'to! Akala mo may virus ang laway ko, ah?"
He made a face. They laughed. Wala namang nakakatawa. Nakaka-offend, ah? Wala naman akong sakit!
Sinimangutan ko si Macky na kumuha rin ng alcohol at wipes para punasan ang kamay niya. Nang makita niya akong nakatingin ay nagkuwari pa siyang nasusuka.
Tarantado.
Mahal na mahal ko sila tapos inaalipusta lang talaga ako sa pamilyang 'to, ano? Palibhasa kasi 'di nila matanggap ang kagwapuhan ko.
"Alam mo, kung brokenhearted ka, mag-kwento ka. 'Di 'yong wala ka sa mood," aniya. "Nandito naman kami, para makinig, oh? 'Di ba?"
'Di umimik si Chiel at Macky. Umungot ako. Nagtawanan sila.
"Seriously? Masaya kayong malungkot ako?" Turo ko sa sarili kahit parang apat na ang mata ni Chiel-taba. "You're all probably waiting for the downfall of this perfect face—" pinasakan ako ni Chiel ng mani sa bibig.
I choked again and smacked his nape.
"Gago ka, Chiel-taba!" Inisang tungga ko ang alak sa shot glass para makalunok. "Palagi n'yo na lang akong inaapi."
"Drama queen," Macky mused.
"Mas drama queen ka, tanga," laban ko pero bago pa kami makapag-away na dalawa ng jowa kong si Macky-beybe ay sumingit na ang kabit kong si Deion sweety.
"You know what, Zy? Tell us," aniya.
"Tell what? Niyaya ko lang kayo kasi miss ko na kayo, 'di tayo nagkita ng matagal-tagal, ah?"
"You won't call us for nothing, Zion," ani Macky. "If you're bored, you'd probably want to go in one of our houses or kina Tita. Not in a karaoke bar."
"Masama ba kumanta? Gusto ko lang kumanta," sagot ko sabay hila ng song book para hanapin 'yong favorite kong Kitchie Nadal Medley.
May humablot ng hawak ko. Napasipa na ako.
"You sing more when you're stress," ani Dei. Napakamot ako ng kilay.
Hindi nga sabi ko stressed!
"You know, Zy, I understand you don't want to open up for now but please know we're always here, right?" Deion in his soothing and calm voice called.
Ayan ang gamit niyang boses kapag may kausap na pasyente, eh. Gagong 'to, ginawa akong pasyente niya!
"You see," he fixed his eyeglasses. "Bottling your feelings inside was never good. At first, you won't feel it—you won't mind it but once it became full? There's a chance it'll overflow or worse, you'll explode."
Gagong 'to pinasabog ba naman ako?
Kinuha ko ang cushion pillow at idiniin sa mukha niya.
"Shut up, Doktor Kwak-kwak,"
He cursed and pushed my hand and the pillow away.
"Fuck, ang bantot! Bakit ganyan?!" He looks so disgusted I grinned at him.
"Oh, talaga? 'Di ako sure, eh. Kita ko kanina 'yong huling lumabas dito dumudukot sa pwet."
All of them gagged. I smirked wickedly.
Habang abala sila sa kakausap na tatlo ay kumanta muna ako, feel na feel. I was a bit emotional probably because of the fucking beer but anyway, nevermind.
My cousins—my siblings from another family would never make fun of me being vulnerable. They knew I'm quite emotional and open to them. They'll tease me, I know, but I never take it to heart. I know they just want to make me feel lighter.
It's always like that.
Natapos ko ang Kitchie Nadal Medley ko at akala ko'y papakawalan na nila ang topic pero hindi. Macky was so dedicated to take it out of me. Even Chiel is persistent, even bribing me he won't ask another favor kapag may pinaimbestigahan ako sa kanya.
Of course, papatalo ba si Doktor Kwak-kwak? Deion was a kind of person who wouldn't easily give up. Maganda palagi ang feedback sa kanya ng pasyente, marami nga ang umuulit at ang gaan niya raw kausap.
Well, the asshole uses it as an advantage to make me open up. Kunwari na lang na 'di ako naaapektuhan no'ng pinaliwanag niya na wala namang masama kung magsasabi ako o ano etcetera etcetera pero sa totoo lang medyo na-teary-eyed ako doon.
The four of us are in balance.
Macky was the serious one, mabait pero mainitin ang ulo. He was composed and quiet but I know deep inside, he's a raging volcano. He once told me he was that way because he didn't want to say something he'd regret.
Alchiel was the wise one. If one has dilemma, he'd use his knowledge in law to weight what should one do or not. Marangal itong si Chiel kahit suplado sa mga estudyante niya sa law school. He's funny when he wants to and serious when he chose to.
He reminded me so much of Tito Iñigo. Strict looking.
Nakakatawa lang ang tawag sa kanya ng mga estudyante no'ng isang beses pinuntahan namin siya ni Clyte sa university no'ng nag-uumpisa pa lang siya.
They call him DLL—Daddy Long Legs.
Deion was, well, obviously ang maraming say sa buhay. Madalas kapag may usapan kami, tawanan lang dapat o kaya 'di seryoso pero biglang magiging preaching sa mga komento niya. Kapag kausap mo siya, kahit 'di seryosong mga bagay palagi kang may take away.
"Okay, children! Anong natutunan n'yo for today's lesson?" I'd always say after his talk he would end up cursing when Macky and Chiel would say their takeaways.
"Very good, say, thank you, Doc Valderama!"
"Salamat, Dok!" Chiel would even say in a singing voice.
He was the softest one—in terms of attitude. Palaging kalmado, akala mo 'di nagagalit. Nakita ko lang na nagalit 'to no'ng kinulimbat ko 'yong lunch niyang dinala ni Ivy sa ospital.
Sa kanya daw 'yon, luto ng girlfriend niya tapos kakainin ko? Ni-reserved niya raw 'yon hanggang sa gutom na gutom na siya para sulit na sulit tapos ako raw pala ang mabubusog?
The hell, this idiot even tried making me puke all the foods I've eaten.
Honestly, not to sound arrogant or what—as a chef, Ivy's cooking was—paano ko ba i-explain? It's not that good—edible but not that good.
But my cousin loved it. Ewan ko nga kung nagpapanggap lang siyang masarap kapag kinakain niya at palaging nakangiti at sinasabing best daw. But yeah, that's what love does to people.
He's obsessed with her. Ivy here, Ivy there, Ivy everywhere.
While me, well, do I have to elaborate? Think of anything positive and I got it all. Perfect.
May humampas sa batok ko.
"What?" Reklamo ko sa pinsan.
"Stop daydreaming," ani Macky, "kinakausap ka, h'wag mong ubusin ang pulutan!"
Ngumuya ako at humalukipkip sabay sulyap sa kanila, nahihilo sa alak at medyo hindi na focused ang paningin pero naiintindihan pa rin sila.
"Stop drinking," Chiel took the glass from my hand. "Spill."
"Mga tsismoso," ungot ko. "Wala nga."
"Basted ka raw, sabi nito," tukoy nila kay Macky na tinaasan ako ng kilay sa kabila ng talim ng tingin ko.
"Sinong nabasted?" I asked innocently, "walang nabasted dito! Sa gwapo kong 'to—"
"Basted, confirmed," Chiel chuckled, "ganyan din linyahan niya dati no'ng binasted siya no'ng College, 'di ba?"
I stiffened at that.
"Nabasted ako?" I asked.
Nagtawanan silang tatlo, "in denial pa siya, oh. 'Di ka pa rin maka-move on, 'no? Kaya hanggang ngayon?"
I didn't laugh or anything, natahimik din sila nang matantong seryoso ako.
"Seriously?" ani Deion, "you can't remember that?"
"How?" I asked, "I mean, what year?"
"I can't remember much but parang fourth year, I guess?" Chiel answered. "Remember? You prepared a whole ass bouquet flowers and a teddy bear? Then when she got out, she ran away?"
My eyes narrowed.
I did?
"Don't tell me you still haven't regained that part of your memories?" ani Macky. "Is that normal, Dei?"
Deion remained staring at me, as if reading my face. If I was joking or I'm serious.
Tumango siya pagkaraan, "probably. It's normal, it's his brain way to overcome trauma. Possibly a part of his accident or something traumatizing happened in regards to that woman and his brain shielded in from him."
"It's silly, why would a rejection traumatize me?" Natawa ako sa kanya, "it's probably just some puppy love bullshits."
He shrugged, "I bet it's the first one, you're slowly regaining some parts, right? Sa aksidente 'yan malamang but kidding aside, Zy, I think you should go get check."
No need, it's probably for the best I've forgotten things. I don't know if I could bear relieving the exact memory for that tragic incident we had in our family. I don't know if I could bear seeing my siblings and parents' faces.
Baka mas maaga ko pang mapatay si Wyatt Anderson Sr. at masira ko ang plano.
"What happened to her?" I asked, "that...girl I courted, you say?"
"She disappeared," aniya. "I mean after that rejection 'di na siya pumasok ulit sa university but I don't know with you. You didn't seem to care. Tahimik ka lang ng ilang araw tapos no'ng isang gabi pag-uwi mo masaya ka na ulit."
"Do you think we talked again?"
"Maybe," ani Macky. Hinarap ko siya.
"What do you mean?"
"You didn't talk about her anymore after that rejection but you don't seem affected," he lifted his palm and showed me his finger. "For instance, first, she's just a passing fancy and you moved on or two, you're secretly together."
I gave him a ridiculous face.
"If we're together, I should've told you all so. Or even introduced them to my parents."
They all shrugged.
"Looking back," Chiel folded his legs, "Macky's right and you are, too. If you're together even after that, you'll tell us or even introduce her to your family. You're extra happy way back after days of you weeping your ass off for the rejection. Palagi kang 'di sumasama sa sleepover. Sabi mo may pupuntahan ka kaya 'di rin kami sigurado."
"Do you have a photo of her?" I asked.
Umiling sila.
"She's aloof. Palaging nakatungo, nagtatago ng mukha sa buhok niya. Naalala ko asar sa kanya dati Sadako," Dei answered. "And we haven't interacted with her much. She only talks to you. You're possessive of her, too. Bagay kayo."
My heart tugged. My head felt heavier. Wasn't sure if it was because of the drink of this load of information.
"But she's a real beauty," Chiel said. "I'd never forget that beauty mark on her cheek. Only saw it a few times but it's hard to miss."
Beauty mark. Sadako. My classmate before?
Memories from the dream that fucked me up and my wife came into the surface. Was that the same girl they're talking about.
"What's her name?" I asked.
Natahimik sila.
"It's T," Dei mumbled, "Trisha...Tiff...basta T! Ano ba 'yon—"
"Theia," I mumbled.
They stiffened, "you remembered her!"
Umiling ako at sumandal, "dreamt of her last time,"
"You did?"
Tumango ako, "yeah but that's it. Wala na."
"That's good, right?" Sumulyap si Macky kay Dei, "na nagsisimula na siyang nakakaalala? Sa noon?"
"Both," Dei answered, "I can't conclude and say much for I haven't seen any recent check ups from this idiot. You should get checked, Zy."
Umiling ako.
"It's nothing," I mumbled. "But I have questions and I don't think that woman would show up in my dreams without reasons, right? What if she knew something I needed? Or...I would look in the database but can you do a dig for me, too, Chiel?"
He looked confused but nodded afterwards, "sure. I'll look in the archives, too. Isasama ko si Clyte, mahilig 'yon mangulikot."
"Theia," mabilis akong napasulyap kay Dei nang sabihin niya ang pangalan. "You liked her before and you're curious now upon hearing her name. Why is that?"
Nagkibit-balikat ako.
"I'm just curious, that's all," but the pounding of my heart felt so familiar it physically ached.
I just don't know what is. If felt so recent and old. Felt like a secret trapped inside a box for a long time I only started finding out.
"I know you only married Bullet for the mission," Macky retorted, "but you know..."
"I know what I feel, Macky," hinilot ko ang sentido. "When I told her I love her, I meant it. I won't look for anyone else even if she rejected me."
They whistled, "so you are rejected!"
I groaned. Umugong ang tawanan at tinapik ako ng mga pinsan.
"Bullet humbled you," Chiel teased.
"Why don't you just beg?" ani Dei na nakangisi.
"Why would I beg?" I asked coolly.
I don't beg.
"S'yempre, tungaw! Mahal mo siya!" ani Macky.
Natawa ako.
"I won't beg!" I proudly said and smiled, "because to beg is water!"
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
BULLET
"I love you, please, hun," Zion cried on my feet.
Nahulog ang panga ko at umangat ang tingin sa mga lalaking kanina pa tumatawa. They were red and wheezing.
"I won't beg," Macky mumbled and laughed loud before his fist went to his cousins as if he's pointing a microphone.
"Because to beg is water!" ani Chiel at Deion na humalakhak na naman na akala mo'y mauubusan ng hininga.
"I-I love you,"
I stiffened more when I felt his hug on my waist, his face buried on my stomach as he drenched my shirt with tears.
My heart twisted in ached, surprised and confusion.
"What the hell is happening?" Naka-freeze lang ako sa kinatatayuan habang tawang-tawa ang tatlo sa harapan ko.
They're tipsy. Si Alchiel lang ang nakita kong maayos pa at nasa wisyo pero si Deion at Macky ay napapaupo na kakatawa.
"Nilasing namin 'yong asawa mo," ani Chiel.
I blinked.
"What? Why?"
"He said he won't beg," aniya at napatawa na naman.
"He...won't beg?" May question mark na sa ulo ko.
"Because to beg is water," he continued and wheezed so loud he's almost out of breath. Muntik pa siyang mapaupo sa lupa kasama ang dalawang pinsan.
Mga baliw.
I was looking for him for hours now. Pagkagaling kong agency kanina para sa updates at mga paalala't pananakot ni Wyatt ay dumiretso ako pauwi at si Twinkle lang ang naabutan ko.
Nandito kanina sina Tito Zeij at Tita Alyx na ibinilin sa akin ang anak bago umalis. Zion still wasn't home and it's late. Ayoko mang aminin pero nag-aalala ako.
I called the office, they said he left early at ilang beses akong tumawag sa phone niya na 'di naman niya sinasagot. Just two hours ago, I called his cousins and found out he's with them.
Lumuwag ang pakiramdam ko ro'n pero may parte sa 'kin na hindi pa rin kampante habang wala siya sa bahay. I have taken the little princess to sleep where I read her a story about a strong princess who led the army even if she's a girl.
She was so amazed while hugging her favorite bear, with the cat, Meow-meow, beside her. Nakatulog din siya matapos kong kwentuhan at ako naman ay dumiretso sa living room habang hawak ang phone ko.
I looked like a waiting house wife in my silk night dress and long blonde hair covering half of my face.
Paano ba naman kasi, my cheek became...well, irritated. Nagpatingin na ako sa dermatologist at binigyan lang ako ng cream para sa irritation at pamumula.
She repeated again that she'd seen no problem with my face and skin, me scratching my cheek often is psychological problem etcetera.
Naupo ako sa sofa ng dahan-dahan kaya ang mukha ng asawa ko'y nahulog sa hita ko.
The three won't recover and so, I waited patiently.
It's better if they laugh their asses out than to fart trying to stop it.
Hinaplos ko ang buhok ng asawa ko at unti-unti kong naramdaman ang pagbigat ng ulo niya sa hita ko. His knees gave up, sumalampak siya sa lapag, ang braso ay nasa amba pa rin ng yakap sa akin.
My heart swelled the same time my eyes did. He smelled the mixture of liquor and his natural scent and perfume, the tattoos on his nape swirling down his back.
Hinaplos ng daliri ko iyon. Mas yumakap siya sa akin at nagsumiksik pa sa pagitan ng hita ko para makayakap ng mas maayos.
I bit my inner cheek and heaved a deep sigh.
Calm down, Bullet. Don't hyperventilate!
I composed myself and called the maid staying today for help. Nakisuyo ako ng kape para sa mga lasing habang ang asawa ko'y nakamukmok pa rin sa hita ko. He wasn't moving but I could hear him saying incoherent words, his lips even brushed my leg, giving me chills.
Damn it, I don't want to play with Franklin tonight!
"Zy," I called softly, "are you awake? Gusto mong kape?"
He only groaned and babbled something. I didn't get it.
"What?" I asked in a low voice and touched his nape softly, massaging his muscles.
I felt his face moving up my flat stomach as he settled his face in between my breasts.
"You're drunk," I whispered. "What is it? Anong gusto mo?"
"Ikaw," he slurred voice answered.
My cheeks heated. Sunod-sunod na bungisngis ang narinig ko at nang balikan ko ang tatlo'y abala sila sa bulungan. I shot my brow up, hoping that would hide my blush.
Alchiel grinned at me handsomely, "he's deeply in love. Nabasted mo?"
My eyes widened. Nagbulungan ulit sila na parang mga tsismoso sa umaga na tsismis kaagad ang agahan.
Damn it, Zy! He got drunk because of it?!
"N-no," I cleared my throat, "he's just drunk. You don't expect him to say something serious—"
"He got drunk because of the rejection," ngumiti siya ulit, "don't worry, we won't take it against you. Of course, you're free to choose whether or not you'll accept someone's affection or not."
Oh well...
Tumango ako at bumaling sa kusina nang lumabas na ang househelp at naglapag ng mga tasa ng kape sa lamesa.
"Ma'am, si Sir po?" aniya, tinutukoy si Zion.
"Later, ako na," sagot ko. "Salamat."
When she left, I watched the three took their coffees from the table.
"You can stay here for the night if you want," I offered the three. "We have the guest room upstairs. It'll be risky to drive at this time."
"No worries, I'm not drunk," ani Chiel. "I'd drive this two assholes. Inuna na namin 'yang asawa mo at ngumangawa sa sasakyan."
"I love you, hun," Macky mimicked, his face flushing red. "Mahal na mahal kita, Tish, bakit ayaw mo sa 'kin? Gwapo naman ako?"
Naghagalpakan sila. Nag-init ang mukha ko at kinagat ang labi.
"He said that?" I asked. The three nodded in unison.
"He's wailing like a kid," Dei said, "ang daldal. Sabi ni Tita Alyx dati pinaglihi raw 'yan sa p'wet ng manok."
I chuckled. The three stiffened in amazement.
Fuck!
Sa kahihiyan ng biglang pagtawa ay nagbaba na lang ako ng tingin at pinag-interesan ang batok ng asawa ko at ang buhok niya.
Quietly, I took his ponytail and slipped it on my wrist.
Bumaling ulit ako sa mga lalaki. Macky started dozing off. Chiel was just watching us like a hawk and Deion, even in his drunk eyes was looking at me like I'm a puzzle to solve.
I almost tsk-ed.
Doctors.
"Are you hungry?" I offered, "I can heat the food for you."
"It's okay, Bullet. Kumain na kami, thank you. Let's take him upstairs," he offered and stood with Deion.
Kinalabit ko ang asawa na umungot lang sa 'kin.
"L-love you, Tish," he mumbled again.
My throat tightened, finding it so hard to breathe.
When Dei and Alchiel pulled him up from the ground, parang may nawala sa 'kin. I suddenly felt empty, probably got used to his warmth in between my body and his.
Magkatulong ang dalawa na hinatid si Zion sa itaas habang si Macky ay nakahiga na sa sofa at yakap ang unan doon. I smiled.
You really can't deny the bond these men had. It was pure and true.
I never had that.
Sumunod ako sa kanila na muntik pang mahulog sa pagbaba nila kay Zion sa kama.
"Kiss!" Ani Zy. The two cursed and groaned. Ngumuso ako at nagpigil ng ngiti.
"Tish!" He called loudly and drunk, "kiss..."
"Kiss daw, Bullet," ani Chiel. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay at humalukipkip.
"Bakit n'yo kasi nilasing?" Reklamo ko.
He grinned boyishly, "brokenhearted nga kasi, bakit mo kasi binasted? Iniyakan ka tuloy," he said teasingly that I found myself smiling a little.
"Thank you for taking him here," I said with gratitude.
"No worries," ngumiti Siya. "Uuna na 'ko sa baba, gisingin ko jowa ni Zion."
"Jowa?"
"Macky," he gave me a knowing look. "'Di ka nagseselos?"
I frowned and pushed him a bit on his shoulder, "get out."
Mas umugong ang tawa niya, "come on, give the poor man some reaction." Tukoy niya kay Zy na kung ano-ano nang drama sa kama.
When he left, naiwan si Deion na nakikipag-usap pa kay Zy. He was laughing with the drunken things he's saying.
Nangati ang pisngi ko. Iritadong tumungo ako para itago ang mukhang namumula at kinamot ang pisngi.
Damn it, masisira ang balat ko rito!
"You okay?" I almost gasped in shock from the voice.
I lifted my head and glanced at Deion in between the strands of my hair.
"Yeah," I nodded my head, hiding my cheek.
Akala ko'y aalis na siya pero nanatili siyang nakatayo sa harapan ko.
"Yes?" I asked, noticing his observing eyes, as if he's seeing me in a microscope.
"What's your natural hair?" He asked.
"Blonde," I answered truthfully. "Why?"
Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa akin. He even fixed his eyeglasses.
"Perhaps, have we seen each other before?" He asked.
Umiling ako, "first time I saw you was maybe in the hospital?"
Hindi siya sumagot at napatango-tango. The look he's giving is honestly making me worried. As if he knew something I didn't.
"What is it? Tell me," I said.
"I don't know," he breathed. "I may be just drunk."
"Just tell me, Dei," I eagerly insisted.
Napaisip siya at tumango rin pagkaraan, "can you, can you lower your face and look at me in between the strands?"
I frowned, "are you crazy?"
He laughed, "come on, please?"
Confused, I lowered my hair a little and stared at him in between the strands. It reminded me of that horror Japanese film we watched last time where Zion ended up falling on the floor.
What's that? Hmm...
"Sadako," he blurted. I winced.
"Asshole," I spat.
But he didn't laugh. He blinked repeatedly and scratched his nape.
"What?" I asked.
Tinanggal niya ang salamin at kinusot pa ang mata at nang suotin ulit ay kumurap siya.
"I'm drunk," he mumbled. "Weird..."
"Yes, you're drunk and weird," I agreed.
Natawa siya pero seryoso pa rin ang mga mata.
"You're right," he moistened his lower lip and nodded his head. "We gotta go, Bullet. Ikaw na bahala sa isang 'yon. Good night."
"Good night,"
He reached for my hair, messed it a little before smiling and left.
What's that?
I didn't bother checking if they left already and watched my husband with his legs spread apart, his bulge where his massive dick is hiding evident.
"Seriously, Zy?"
He groaned and mumbled, "Tish, love..."
Ngumuso ako at namaywang, "getting wasted because I rejected you? Really?"
He sniffed and hugged the pillow, "love you, please,"
I tried stopping a smile. Ma-drama kong hinawi ang buhok at bumuntonghininga.
"Crying over a rejection? For me? Really, though, I know I'm sexy and beautiful. Can't blame you." I said, having my inner monologue.
"I mean, okay. I rejected you because first off, it's our mission, okay? You married me to have a connection with that old hag. I am helping you to get revenge to whatever his dick son did to your family. Vice versa and I'm not the type of person mixing personal life over professional ones like...we're professionals, Zy."
Professional murderers.
He snorted. His nose reddened.
This adorable ass.
"Pero kung patay na patay ka sa 'kin, wala na tayong magagawa," I lamented. "Kasi 'di ba, sino ba namang hindi?"
Hindi ako nahirapang hubaran siya. He's a large man, if I may add but maybe sanay na 'ko. Bumubuhat kasi ako ng lalaki dati—mga bangkay pagkatapos ko siyang saksakin.
I removed his shoes and managed to pull his shirt up. I watched his dog tag fell on his chest. I purred. Damn, parang ang cute tusukin no'ng dibdib.
Why is he so good looking? Ngayong wala siyang pang-itaas ang kitang-kita ang pagsilip ng kanyang tattoo sa may bandang batok, parte ng leeg at sa braso. My finger traced it, sighing in adoration.
The tattoo suited him so well and I have one, too in the back down my hip.
Bagay talaga kami.
My inner bitch purred. Sinapak ko siya sa utak ko.
Shut up, bitch.
I unbuckled his belt and pulled it off to strip him when he kicked me.
Tumaas ang kilay ko.
He only groaned and mumbled, "no."
I shook my head, "tatanggalin ko lang ang pantalon mo, madudumihan ang kama,"
I waited for reaction pero mukhang tulog ulit kaya hinila ko ulit ang pantalon pero bigla niya Akong sinipa.
"No!" He growled.
"What?" I asked, "tatanggalin ko lang ang pantalon—" he kicked me again and just as I'm about to be annoyed, he spoke.
"N-no!" He mumbled in his life, "married..."
"Huh?"
"I'm married!" He groaned and mumbled under his breath. "I love you, Tish,"
Can someone just kick me in the face?
Humuhugot ng hininga ay naupo ako sa tabi niya, my eyes softened.
"You don't want me to strip you because you're married?" I asked.
He moaned softly, "married..."
"B-but," suminghap ako, "I'm your wife. Can't I strip you?"
"Wife?" He mumbled, "Tish?"
"Yeah, hon," hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya. "It's Tish,"
He caught my hand on his cheek. I gasped and softened more when the wedding ring on his finger twinkled, nagdikit ang daliri kong hawak niya na suot din ang wedding ring.
"Tish..." he called in his dreams.
"Y-yeah?" My eyes are now swelling, pinanuod ko ang mukha niyang naghahalo ang lungkot at pagkalito.
"I love you," he whispered. "K-kahit 'di mo 'ko love...love you,"
"I..." I hesitated. "I know."
"I love you, please," he brought my hand on his lips. "I love you,"
I felt something wet on my hand, nang silipin ko 'yon ay mas nadurog lang ako pagkakita ng luhang nahulog mula sa nakapikit niyang mata.
"I love you," he whispered desperately, as if having a dream and a nightmare at the same time. "D-don't leave me, l-love you..."
My heart pounded painfully. It felt like it was as if breaking in million pieces. As if something was ripping it off my chest.
It felt empty and full at the same time. Like same old and new love combined in one. The same feeling I didn't know if I was really capable of feeling.
Love?
Do I love anything?
I love my bikes. They're my babies.
People, Bullet. People.
Love? Was I still capable of feeling that when it's already shattered in broken pieces?
Tumungo ako't lumuhod sa gilid ng kama para lang panoorin siya. He was still murmuring words about love, tears are still there, drenching my hand.
I reached for his face and kissed his forehead before pressing a gentle peck on his lips.
"I'm sorry, hon," I smiled bitterly. "I-I don't know if I was capable of feeling that but if I had a heart, it would've been yours."
Just as I was about to pull away from feeling his lips against mine, he kissed me. Nagulat ako ro'n pero nang masalubong ang asul at antok niyang mga mata'y may kung anong init na sumakop sa buong katawan ko.
I kissed him back.
He intertwined our fingers, pulling me up until I'm straddling his stomach.
His sleepy eyes watched me above him.
"Misis ko?" He asked and reached for me, as if he's afraid I'm just an apparition or something.
"Yes, mister?" I asked and lowered my body until our faces are inches apart from each other.
He sighed, "you still look beautiful in my dreams,"
I chuckled, lowering my body more to kiss his cheek and his lips.
"This is not a dream, hon," I whispered and bit his earlobe. "You got drunk because of a rejection, hmm? What are you, in high school, baby?"
He groaned and touched my back, "I'm definitely dreaming, you're so sweet."
I pouted and pulled away.
"Am I not sweet?"
Humalukipkip ako sa harapan niya kaya umangat ang dibdib ko. Napatitig siya doon at kumurap-kurap.
He sighed, "damn it, I'm having wet dreams?"
Mas tumalim ang tingin ko sa kanya.
"And my wife's fucking sexy," he groaned again and lifted his hand. He cupped and squeezed my breast like a stress ball. "Nice tits."
Tinampal ko ang kamay niya. Napaayos siya at muntik pang mapaupo pero 'di natuloy nang itulak ko ulit pahiga.
"Tish?" He asked.
"Seriously? I was asking you and you're squeezing my tits?"
Kumurap-kurap siya, "ang sungit pa rin kahit sa panaginip," he mumbled.
I eyed him intently. He scratched his eyes.
"I'm drunk, fuck. I'm having a dream, yeah," he nodded and stared at me again glaring at him. "Yes, I'm dreaming. There's no way my wife's above me. Can someone slap me awake—"
Sinampal ko siya.
"Fuck!" Sa lakas ng sigaw niya'y mukhang magigising ang mga kapit-bahay. "What the hell!"
"Sabi mo sampalin kita," I shrugged, "there you go, honey. Sweet?"
"T-Tish?" He blinked unbelievably. "Are you..."
"Oo nga, Sandejas, ilang ulit pa ba?" Kalmado kong tanong.
He was just staring at me, wide-eyed.
"Nope,"
"Yes," I said.
"My wife's mad at me," he denied, "there's no way she's—" I cut him off with a kiss. He stiffened.
I licked his lower lip and cupped his jaw, he opened his mouth and I let my tongue wandered inside, tasting the liquor in it.
He drank beer.
Lumayo ako para panoorin siya.
Hindi pa rin siya naniniwala.
Was it really impossible I'm here? What? Does he think because I rejected him, 'di ko na siya kailanman kakausapin?
"Tish? Tish ko?" He repeated.
Ano pa bang p'wedeng gawin para maniwala 'tong 'di ako aparisyon?
I took his palm where his wedding ring was and placed it back on my breast. Umawang ang labi niya.
Heat spread as my core drenched. I groaned.
Hindi pa rin siya gumagalaw. When he palm moved a bit on my breast to have a feel, I am clenching my fist.
Nahulog ang strap ng night dress ko, sumulyap siya doon at lumunok and I know for sure he knew how impatient I am, mostly if I'm already horny.
I grinded myself on his stomach. His jaw clenched.
"Bevurleigh,"
"Hmm, do you believe I'm real now, honey?" I smiled widely.
Lumunok siya at muling pinaraan ang daliri sa dibdib ko. My nipples hardened more and it shows. He harshly pulled my top off, my tits bounced out of it.
"This is real," bulong niya sa hangin at hinaplos ang dibdib ko. He pinched my nipple. I moaned.
"This is real," I emphasized, umayos ako ng upo sa sikmura niya't itinaas ang night dress ko. My cotton white panties got exposed, the visible drench on view.
He cursed. I smiled.
"I'm so wet, honey," I said, "can you help me out, please?"
"Tish," tunog nahihirapan siya.
I pretended to sound wounded, "what? You don't want to? Then, fine! I can say go hi to Franklin, maybe I'll let Nico join."
Nagdilim ang mukha niya.
"Nico what?!" He hilted my waist to stop me from leaving.
Inangat ko ang strap ng pantulog para sana takpan ang dibdib. Tinampal niya ang kamay ko. Tinamaan ang boobs ko.
I groaned in annoyance and in lust.
"Who's Nico?" Galit na naman ang mister ko.
"Friend ni Franklin, second boyfriend ko," I mused. "He's a dild—"
"Strip, sit on my face," he commanded.
My face flushed.
"What?!"
"I said strip, Mrs. Sandejas," his jaw clenched, angry and horny. "Strip and sit on my face."
I just gawked at him.
"Do I have to repeat myself twice?" He slapped my breast.
Madali naman akong kausap. I stood in between his stomach to strip my panties off. tinapon ko 'yon sa mukha niya.
He groaned and took it, "akin na 'to," sabay ibinulsa niya.
I didn't mind, though. I rolled my eyes. Inangat ko ang dress para sana hubarin nang may tumapik sa hita ko.
"Leave it on,"
"What?"
"Faster,"
With the dress on my waist and one strap falling down my shoulders, I went closer to him. I'm embarrassed to say but I'm quite shy sitting on his face when it wasn't even the first time he ate me.
"Zy—" he pulled me closer until I'm sitting on his face. Napahawak ako sa headboard at namilog ang mata.
"Honey—"
"Open up, Mrs. Sandejas," he commanded, "let me have a taste."
Fisting my palm, I opened my legs and my voice shook as a desperate moan got out the moment he kissed me there.
His lips, tongue and finger worked in tandem pleasing me. Better than toys.
Fuck, magtatampo sa 'kin si Franklin Nito pero...
I fisted Zy's hair and grinded my cunt against his face.
He laughed, "easy there, baby," he squeezed my waist.
"Make me come," I cried, "Zy, please, m-make me,"
"So impatient," he breathed, "come on, ride my tongue."
I pinched my nipples as I rode his face, he didn't seem to mind. I used him as my personal pleasure machine, a lover, perhaps?
Lover...
I bit my lip to stop my traitorous smile.
Does it come close to love?
Will I be enough for him if I could only be a lover? Since for now, I wasn't even sure if I'm capable of feeling love...or if I ever will be.
If I just became his lover, will he keep me? Can I stay here? With him and Twinkle?
I convulsed when I reached my climax. Nanghina ang hita ko't napaupo at inalalayan lang ako ng asawa ko at pinahiga sa kama.
"You okay, hon?" He asked gently, "let me clean you up—"
I pulled him closer to me, "we're not done yet,"
"Hmm?" His eyes widened, "what,"
I cupped his jeans, "I want this, please,"
"Bevurleigh..."
"I'm ready, please?" I pouted, "Zy, honey, please?" I kissed him, tasting my juices mixing with the liquor on his mouth. I felt him tensing until he relaxed.
"Alright," he whispered, "Stay here, I'll get the condoms,"
"I'm on pills!" I exclaimed, he stared at me.
"You want me bare?" Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwalang pinagmasdan ako pero sigurado akong gusto niya rin. I can see his dick begging to get out.
Aww, my poor baby.
"If only you want," I bit my lip. "I-I'm clean! I don't fuck around y-you know..." nag-init ang mukha ko sa kahihiyan.
Too much info, Bullet!
Nakita ko ang ngisi niya at ang mas pagdilim ng mata niyang mapaglaro. He brushed his hair and stopped when he realized he had no ponytail.
Tinago ko ang kamay ko pero nahuli na niya.
"You pretty thief," he shook his head.
I grinned cheekily, "okay, sige! Sa 'yo muna tonight! Kunin ko bukas, ah? Akin 'to!"
He chuckled. Umupo ako para abutin ang buhok niya. Magkaharap kami kaya hindi ko nakikita kung maayos ba ang tali ko sa buhok niya pero tumungo siya sa dibdib ko para halik-halikan ang boobs ko.
I tried taming my rebellious heart but failed to when he kissed my neck and my breast again. He sucked and licked my skin.
Nahila ko ang buhok niya.
"Aww, honey," he whined.
"Sorry," tumikhim ako, "Balik ka na." Tinulak ko ulit ang mukha niya sa boobs ko.
"Patay na patay ka talaga sa 'kin 'no?" I whispered.
"Uh-huh," he chuckled. "H'wag lalaki ang ulo, Tish," he reached for my pussy and rubbed me there.
"Ako pa ang lumalaki ang ulo, ah? Eh, ano 'to?" I squeezed his bulge and smiled proudly when he cursed and pushed me back on the bed.
We exchanged kisses, wet and teasing ones. Being with Zion is liberty, he's giving me a sense of freedom in terms of exploring my sexuality and personal pleasure and I liked him more for that.
He lubricated me with his fingers, teasing me with his cock. He'd tease me by thrusting his cock in but not fully, then he'd take it out to see my face.
I glared at him.
"Patience, misis," tumawa siya at hinalikan ako, "rub yourself, I don't want to force it."
We worked together for our pleasure. I rubbed myself while Zion's teasing me and sucking on my tits. We kissed, dried humped each other until I'm soaking wet I begged him to go inside.
"Fuck me, Zy," I cried out loud, "enter me, Reaper, please."
He laughed on my ear, locking gazes with me.
"My pleasure, Scythe," he whispered back and entered me.
I tensed and scratched his back. He pushed inside me fully I screamed and he covered my mouth.
"Shh, honey," tumawa siya at hinalikan ang ilong ko. "As much as I want to hear you scream, we might wake the princess,"
I stopped.
"Shit,"
"Yes, shit," ngumisi siya at hinaplos ang pisngi ko. "Can I move now?"
I nodded my head, trusting him fully—for him to thrust inside me.
When he moved, I swear I saw the clouds. I can't help but compare him with my toys.
Fuck me, sasama talaga ang loob sa 'kin nina Franklin and friends!
I moaned and bit his shoulder. He cursed and held my waist.
"Fuck," he pumped himself inside me I think I could die in pleasure.
I encircled my legs around his waist, he took one leg up instead and placed it on his shoulder for better access. My eyes rolled at the back of my head.
"You like it?" He asked. I nodded.
"Y-yes, hon," I cried.
"How does it feel, huh?" The sucked on my skin. I'm sure it will form hickeys. "How does it feel having my dick inside your cunt?"
I just moaned, couldn't find my voice.
He slapped my cunt, "answer."
"Zy!"
He slapped it again, "I said answer,"
"G-good," I gasped, "faster!" He stopped.
I glared. He smirked handsomely.
"Fuck you, I said faster!"
And he did. He filled me to the brim and I felt how his length moved in and out inside me desperately. As if he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
I scratched his back, my nails digging on his skin, the black inks of his tattoo joining the blood from the ones I caused.
I licked it clean and cried in pleasure.
I didn't know how many times we fucked—or made love?
Three, I guess?
After he came inside me, his cum still dripping on my cunt, he commanded me to held unto the headboard and fucked me again from behind.
After that, we showered and the small make out session turned into something else when the soap fell and I knelt to take it.
His cock slapped my face. The audacity! Sa inis ko, sinubo ko tuloy.
I laughed at him glaring at me while he's drying my hair after the bath.
"What? It's your dick's fault! I was just kneeling to take the soap and he slapped me?!"
Umiling siya. Mas natawa ako.
"Akala mo naman 'di gusto," ngumisi ako. "Kung makasabunot ka nga sa buhok ko akala mo katapusan na ng mundo!"
"I said we'll just take a bath," umiling siya pero nagtatago din ng ngiti. "You're sore, two was enough but you...you're such a tease, you know? Now, I won't say sorry to that pussy. It's not my fault."
I smiled again and swayed my feet on the sink. He breathed and kissed my cheek.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you,"
I shook my head and played with his hair, "you didn't. Perhaps, you made my pussy happy."
He gave me a look as if I'm a pervert. I kissed him and smiled again.
"Inom ka munang kape, lasenggo ka kasi," hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya at tumitig sa mga mata niya. "I'll head to the bed first, you can..." nag-init ang ang pisngi ko at nagbaba ng tingin.
He caught my chin, "I can?"
"You can join me," I whispered and shyly met his gaze, "in bed...to sleep."
He smiled gently and my heart burst.
"Can I hug you?" He asked, "in sleep, I mean?"
Tumango ako, "o-okay, just don't turn the lights on. I don't like light when s-sleeping."
Natahimik ako at binasa ang labi, "gapang ka na lang papuntang kama."
After one more kiss, he left to drink some coffee. Inayos ko ang sarili at walang ilaw na pumunta sa kama. A few minutes later, he came back and hugged me from behind.
"I love you," he whispered.
My heart celebrated and mourned at the same time.
"I—"
"It's okay," he whispered, "just let me love you."
A tear fell on my cheek, mabilis ko 'yong pinunasan at inabot ang kamay ni Zion sa sikmura ko at ipinasok ang daliri sa pagitan ng kanya.
"How could you trust me?" I asked.
"Because I love you," he whispered back. "My heart's yours."
"Every shattered pieces of mine are yours, too." I whispered back and smiled on my sleep.
Maaga akong nagising kinabukasan. My husband was still sleeping soundly when I got up and took a bath. Sinilip ko rin si Twinkle na tulog na tulog pa rin.
I fed and cleaned Meow-meow's litter box and ask the maids if may agahan na. It's still early so obviously, wala pang ulam.
I'm in the mood kaya nagpresinta akong ako ang bibili sa palengke at gusto kong magluto para kay Zy at Twinkle.
Honestly, I'm not a good cook. I sucked at it. I always depend on take outs but willing naman daw sina Ate na turuan ako kaya...
I asked for the list and went out of the gate, I noticed the guards are not here kaya mabilis akong nakalabas pero nakakadalawang hakbang pa lang ako sa labas ay may humila sa pants ko.
I paused, gasping loudly when I saw Twinkle.
"Princess! Why are you here?" Mabilis akong pumantay sa kanya at sinuklay ang buhok niya.
Mukhang kakagising lang, antok pa ang mata at bagsak na bagsak ang light na buhok. Her amber eyes twinkled as she smiled at me.
"Morning!" She chirped.
She's still hugging her favorite toy. She's wearing pink unicorn onesies and bunny slippers.
"Good morning, too, princess," I gasped and looked around. Cursing the security guards are not inside the gates! "Bakit ka lumabas? Tara, pasok tayo—"
She shook her head.
"Sama Twinkle," she mumbled.
"Sweety—"
"Sama! Sama!" She mumbled, "Twinkle, sad! Labas tayo po, Ate! Play and ice creammm!"
"Darling," I heaved a deep sigh and cupped her shook, "we can't. Alam mo namang bawal, 'di ba? May...may bad guys?"
She gasped, "b-bad guys? Like big muscwles?"
"Big muscles, yes," I smiled softly. "And Kuya and Dad and Mom will be mad and sad if the bad guys caught or saw you."
I covered her small body with mine as I looked around.
"But..." she whined, "Twinkly spy! Agent Twinkol Starrr! Yaaah!" She even raised her hand for a gun finger and kicked in the air. Lumipad ang laruan niya.
I laughed, "I know, agent," I smiled. "But you know what real agents do?"
She shook her head and I took her toy from the ground and gave it back to her.
"Agents knew when to fight and not," I said softly. "Agents have to train so much and efficiently para 'di sila matatalo ng kalaban kaya bilang senior agent mo..."
"Senwor agent? What 'yon po?"
"Uh..." I chuckled with the curiosity on her eyes, "mas nakakatanda na spy, you mean the boss."
She gasped and then saluted, "Agent Twinkle Star! Salwute!"
I laughed and fixed her hand on her before saluting back.
Nang ibaba ko ang palad ay inabot ko rin ang kanya.
"As your senior, I suggest Agent Twinkle Star should train more. Para paglaki na niya, siya na ang boss na lalaban sa mga bad guys."
She grinned, "p'wede ko Ate po, isama si Meow-Meow?" She asked.
I grinned and nodded, "why not? You should give her a code name! Why don't you go in and check?"
Thankfully, nauto ko siya papasok. I reminded her Nanny to not leave her alone even if inside the house. Pinagsabihan ko rin ang guards na h'wag na h'wag iiwanang walang tao ang gates at maging alerto.
I went out to go to the market at pagkalabas ko pa lang ng village ay naramdaman kong may nakasunod na sa 'kin. I continued walking, pretending to know nothing while I secretly reach for my gun inside my jacket.
I heard footsteps and just as I was about to pull my gun out, naramdaman ko ang malamig na metal sa sentido ko.
"Care to tell us who Twinkle is, Scythe?" Wyatt's voice filled my ear. Nanlamig ako.
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