Kabanata 4
Kabanata 4
"Hindi lang pala coffee and instant, pati pala girlfriend." He laughed, "sabi nga no'ng pulis na immortal...yummy!" humagalpak siya sa pang-aasar.
"Would you shut up or susupalpalin ko 'yang bibig mo?" I hissed coldly at Solomon because he's still laughing nonstop on our way home.
He looked at me sideways, grinned before speaking.
"Would you shut up or susupalpalin ko 'yang bibig mo?" he mimicked using a girly tone, kaya umawang na ang labi ko. "Hindi naman nakakatakot pakinggan, Sib. Kasi may maarte accent—"
"You are a jerk, Solomon!" I hissed, annoyed.
"Hala? Bakit?" he grinned, "ginagaya ko lang ang pagkakasabi mo kasi ang cute. Seryoso pero may accent kaya—"
"Why did Dad even let you stay here?" bulong-bulong ko at umirap sa kanya, "you're annoying, Solomon."
"Ay, sorry...sorry." I noticed him looking at me through my peripheral vision. "Magpapakabait na po ako, Miss Sweet Lips. Ayaw ko namang ma-stress sa aking ang girlfriend ko."
I froze. The hell, my heart made a loud leap!
Mabilis ko siyang nilingon sa nanlalaking mata at nginisihan niya lang ako.
I screamed loudly and covered my ear.
"Hala ka, putang ina!" he screamed back and swerved and luckily, I am wearing my seatbelts dahil kung hindi ay tumilapon na ako.
Tumigil na ang sasakyan sa gilid ng kalsada pero sumisigaw pa rin ako.
"Ano? Ano? Bakit...bakit ka sumisigaw?!" he asked me horribly, panicking. "Natamaan ka ba? May sugat ka ba? Nasaktan ka ba—" I suddenly stopped from screaming and looked at him with my poker face.
"Hoy..." he murmured when he saw my face, "bakit...ka...naman," lumunok siya. "G-ganyan makatingin?"
Bakit, katakot ba, ha? Solomon?
"You know what? I don't really say this." I murmured using my intimidating cold voice. "Even my family never heard me saying this out loud because it's all just in my head."
"Ay, weh?" he blinked, "ano ba 'yan? Curious ako, ah?"
"Come here," I moved my finger, urging him to come closer and excitedly, he moved closer to me.
"Ano 'yan? Ano 'yan? Kaka-curious, ah? Special siguro ako kaya mo sa 'kin sasabihan?" he was talking nonstop I almost rolled my eyes.
You are such a talkative chismoso, Solomon.
I moved my lips closer into his ear to whisper.
"Sol," I called sensually on his ear.
"Bakit, Miss Sweet Lips?" hagikhik pa niya at mas lumapit.
I got a whiff of his manly perfume but it didn't affect me at all. Not at all.
Nope. No. Never!
"Oh, Sib? Bakit natulala ka na diyan?" it was too late for me to realize he shifted his face towards my direction, the reason why we're too close now.
My forehead creased. He smiled. Ginalaw ko ang daliri sabay tulak sa pisngi niya para makaharap siyang muli sa harapan.
"Hindi na...hindi na." Tawa niya, "ano na lang ang sasabihin mong sekretong malupet, p'wedeng pabulong—"
"Pakyu ka." I announced in a confident, strong voice.
I noticed how he froze. Nang lumayo ako at pinagmasdan ang reaksyon niya ay nakitang nakanganga siya at tulala.
I glanced at my red nails and checked it.
Maybe, I should change the colors?
"Hala—" I immediately looked at Solomon and caught his wide eyes while looking at me. "Nagmura ka ba talaga ng malutong—"
"Malutong?" I asked, "oh, yeah. It's malutong pala? Oh, talaga, Solomon? Pakyu." I said, ang daliri kong tinitignan ko lang ay unti-unti kong ibinaba ang apat at ipinakita sa kanya ang gitna bago malambing na ngumiti at kindat.
His jaw dropped. My fake smile faded and immediately looked away, checking my nails again.
"I know I'm pretty but don't stare too much, Solomon." I said coldly, "I might melt. Mababawasan ng magaganda sa earth. Just drive."
I heard his amazed gasp. Hindi naman ako umimik at humalukipkip lang habang sinisimulan niyang paandaring muli ang sasakyan.
"May ganyang side ka pala, Sib?" he laughed, I can notice his stares pero 'di ko na nilingon. "Wow, tapos ako pa lang nakakakita? Special siguro ako." Bulong-bulong niya.
"Special, my ass." Sabat ko pabalik pero mas tumawa lang siya.
"Sa bagay, gano'n talaga. Boyfriend things." He emphasized the last word kaya mabilis ko siyang nilingon at sinimangutan pero wala naman siyang pakialam sa tingin ko at pangisi-ngisi lang.
He even tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. I just shook my head and looked away at nang madaanan ng tingin ko ang repleksyon niya sa may bintana ay tumaas ang sulok ng labi ko.
This idiot is something else.
I realized I talked too much for today kaya sa byahe ay tahimik lang ako at inubos ang inumin ko. I am tired talking much, ito kasing Solomon na 'to ay hindi ata ako papatahimikin. Nakakairita.
Hindi na ako masyadong magsasalita ngayon. Sayang ang laway ko kakakausap sa gungong na ito.
I crossed my arms when I noticed we're near our mansion. Bumusina siya kaya pinapasok kami kaagad at pagkaparada pa lang ay inabot ko na ang gamit ng kapatid ko.
"Ako na, Sib." He offered but I just shot my brow up and licked my lower lip.
"No, thanks." Simple kong sabi.
"Ay, lamig, ah?" he faked a shiver, "akala ko ba close na tayo? Girlfriend—" I thew a sharp glare and that's when he gulped harshly and chuckled awkwardly.
"Grabe naman, Miss Sweet Lips. Hindi mabiro, masama? Madamot sa tawa—"
"Ang ingay mo." I hissed and while he's laughing, I made a mocking face and turned my back at him and went out of the car silently.
When I got out of the parking lot, the idiot followed me. Inagaw-agaw pa niya sa akin ang plastic kaya sinimangutan ko na.
"I can handle this," I hissed.
"Okay...okay." Ngiti niya at itinaas ang kamay, "pero gusto ko lang sabihin na pinasaya mo ako ngayong araw."
My heart swirled, I glanced his way and caught the gentle smile on his lips when he said that.
"Ikaw, hindi ka ba masaya today? Tumawa ka tapos ngumiti. Pinag-usapan pa natin ang color red mong—" I raised my brow, "ah, yong Rich whatever—"
"My day's a mess," I smirked, "ingay mo kasi."
He smiled, his tall silhouette can be seen from the ground when the light from the post reached him. Namulsa pa siya at naaaliw akong pinagmasdan.
"Basta, ako, masaya." He smiled, "hindi naman pala sobrang boring dito sa Maynila."
Dinaga ang dibdib ko. I looked away and held the plastic more. Dire-diretso akong naglakad papunta sa mansyon habang nakasunod siya pero parang gusto ko na lang umatras nang makita ang Dad na nakaabang.
"Nasaan na si Solomon?!" he exclaimed loudly and my eyes widened.
"Dad—"
"Solomon, halika ritong gago ka!" my mouth parted when he ran towards Sol kaya dali-dali akong lumingon at nakitang patakbo na ang huli.
"Sir Zeij—"
"Bakit mo hinalikan ang pretty ghourl kong tang ina ka!" he screamed loudly, lifting his slippers in the air and ran after Sol who cursed when it reached him.
"Sir! Hindi po sa gano'n—"
"May papikit ka pang gago ka! Feel na feel mo halikan ang prinsesa ko!" he screamed, "halika rito at i-feel mo ang tang inang pamalo ko!"
"Pinapahanda na niya 'yong baril niya," I heard a voice and when I looked beside me and saw my brother, I rolled my eyes.
"You two are being so OA, Kuya." Pagod kong sabi. "That asshole James? He cheated on me with the Teresa bitch, okay? Solomon just protected me from the tell tales media would spread—"
"Ay, boyfriend mo si James?!" namilog ang mata niya, "bakit hindi ko alam?"
I shrugged.
Nakanganga lang siya sa akin at kumurap-kurap.
"Talaga ba—"
"We broke up," I deadpan answered, "I'm tired. I'm gonna take a shower, where's Mom?"
"Nag-shopping kasama sina Tita," aniya na nakatulala pa rin sa akin.
"Ah, where's Zire?" I asked at nang tinuro niya ang itaas ay tumango ako at hinawi ang buhok ko bago naiiritang inangat ang kamay ko at isinara ang panga niya.
"Baka may pumasok sa salagubang sa bibig mo," I said, "stop Dad from killing that idiot outside. It was just a kiss. No big deal."
"No big deal?!" halos mahulog ang eye balls niya, "ako nga—"
"Oh, don't give me that ako nga card of yours, Kuya. I don't ask someone I kissed to mar—"
"Zion Schauffer! Tulungan mo akong paslangin ang pasneya na ito!" Dad screamed outside and before I become a complete weirdo, I turned my back from him and left.
When I got inside my room, I made a quick shower. Nang lumabas ako sa terrace para sumilip ay naabutan ko pa si Solomon na nakikipagpatintero sa Tatay at Kuya Zy.
"Oo, tinulungan mo siya pero gustong-gusto mo naman!" Dad hissed and I closed my eyes tightly when he took off his other slipper. "Tapos ano? Ano? Ano 'tong mababalitaan ko kay Dmitrov na may ticket ako sa illegal parking?!"
Solomon stopped from running, catching his breath.
"Sir, pasensya na. M-magpapaliwanag ako—"
"Hindi! Hangal ka! May record na tuloy akong hunghang ka!" sigaw niya, saktong bato pa ng tsinelas sa direksyon niya kaya umatras siya para sana umiwas pero may kung anong harang doon kaya napaupo siya sa lapag at naabutan ni Dad.
Napailing ako, pumahalumbaba sa may terrace para pagmasdan si Solomon na nagpupumilit makawala sa hawak sa kanya ni Dad pero hindi makaalis dahil nakaabang ang Kuya.
"Tanga," bulong ko, nangingiti pero kaagad iyong napawi nang matanto ko ang ginawa.
The hell is happening to me? Nadadalas ata 'to, ah?
"Ate...Ate ko, help!" I shifted my gaze from the three men downstairs when I heard a voice. Kaagad akong lumingon at nakita ang kapatid kong papalapit.
"Zire? What happened?" I panicked when I noticed her eyes swelling. She's sniffing and holding her hand, making me worry. "Why, baby? Anong mayro'n?" malambing kong turan at inabot siya.
"Na-cut ng cutter ang finger ko po, Ate." She sniffed loudly and extended her hand at me. "A-ayaw ko dugo...takot ako, Ate."
My heart fell, remembering the reason why she got traumatized and scared of blood. Nangilid ang luha ko roon pero sa halip na pakitaan ng lungkot ang kapatid ko ay ngumiti pa ako sa kanya.
"It's okay, Ate's here." Bulong ko sa kanya at hila sa kanya palapit bago siya ipaupo sa kama ko.
"Okay, close your eyes. Don't look at the blood, Zire. Does it hurt too much?" bulong ko at tumango siyang muli habang nakapikit ng mariin.
"The pain would subside, hmm?" bulong ko sa kanya, "gagamutin ni Ate 'yan, tatanggalin natin ang dugo, ah?"
She nodded again, nagsumiksik na sa akin. When I noticed her hand shaking, I gently touched it and kissed her hair.
"It's gonna be alright, Zire." Bulong ko. "Ate Sibyl would p-protect you, hmm?"
"Opo..." bulong niya, "A-ate, 'yong art materials ko po?"
Mabilis akong tumayo para kunin ang first aid ko sa may gilid ng kwarto at bumalik sa kanya.
"I bought you everything, Zire. Don't worry." Sabi ko, "I even bought you gummies, marami 'yon. Matutuwa ka."
Marahan kong pinunasan ang dugo paalis sa kanyang daliri, maingat na nilinis ang cut niya bago lagyan ng band aid.
"There, you can look now. It's okay now. Wala ng dugo, Zire." Bulong ko at unti-unti, nagmulat siya ng mata.
Her wide blue eyes are swelling and scared but I saw how relief washed her orbs when she saw her finger. Napatingin siya sa akin at ngumiti pa ng malambing.
"Thank you, Ate." She whispered, "you're the best sister in the whole wide world! I love you!" dinamba niya ako ng yakap kaya napatawa ako at marahang yumakap pabalik.
"I love you too, Zire." I whispered, "saan ang project mo? Tulungan ka ni Ate mag-design."
"Really?!" she chirped, her eyes are alive. "No ballet practice for you tonight?!"
"No practice," malambing kong sabi at ngumiti. "It's Zire's time. Tawag mo si Kuya Zy after, ah? Siya papag-gupitin natin ng mga box."
"Bonding time?" she asked hopefully. I nodded and smiled.
"Yehey!" she hugged me again, kissing my cheek and like the energetic girl she is, hopped outside to call our brother's attention.
Dumating si Mommy pagkaraan ng ilang minuto at hinatiran kaming tatlo ng pagkain.
"Hay naku, 'yong Tatay ninyo ayaw pakawalan si Sol. Kulang na lang mag-wrestling sila ro'n kanina!" Mom gasped loudly, "ewan ko ba diyan sa Tatay mo at mukhang masyadong naalog sa tiyan ni Mommy Lena."
My siblings laughed.
"Hindi pa rin sila tapos sa episode kanina?" Kuya Zy asked, smirking when Mommy shook her head.
"No, not really."
"Akala ko okay na?" Kuya laughed, "I think they're on ceasefire when I left."
Mom nodded, pinagmasdan ko siyang tumabi sa amin sa lapag at si Kuya ay kinuha ang tray mula kay Mommy at inilagay sa may lamesa naming maliit.
While Zire crawled towards Mommy to hug her, I rested my back on the side of the bed and watched the two.
"What's the matter, princess? Bakit may band aid ang kamay mo?" Mom asked her gently and it tugged my heart when Zire smiled and shook her head.
"Na-cut ko po ang finger ko, My."
"Ano?" Kuya asked, muling naupo sa lapag, "okay ka na ba? Hindi ako sigurado kung bakit pero 'di ba takot ka sa dugo?" confusion was etched on his face.
"Hmm," Zire hummed, "pero ayos na po ako, Mommy, Kuya. Ate Sibyl helped me with this, sabi niya h'wag akong matatakot kasi she'll protect me and she did!"
Nagkatinginan kami ni Mommy at malambing siyang ngumiti sa akin.
"Nice, that's our pretty ghourl!" I was shocked when I heard it. Si Dad ay pumasok sa kwarto at dali-daling humalik kay Mommy at ginulo ang buhok ni Zire.
"That's our brave Zirena-ganda there, that's just blood, Zire. We—Ate Sibyl would protect you from it." Dad said and my sister nodded, glancing at me happily at kaagad akong kinain ng hiya.
Ibinaba ko ang tingin. No, I could not protect you.
I noticed my brother looking at me but I didn't look at him and my Dad sat on the side of the bed beside me and hugged my body.
"Bakit ang tahimik na naman ng aking pretty ghourl?" he asked me.
"Saan si Sol?" I asked him instead and his face crumpled.
"Ibinaon ko na sa lupa," bored na sagot lang niya kaya nanliit ang mata ko.
"Zeijan Ruais, pinagtitripan mo na naman si Sol." Mom called, "saan na siya?"
"Binaon ko na nga sa lupa—" Mom glared at him, "ano ba 'yan, Misis ko, sa 'yo talaga nagmana itong pretty ghourl at suplada. Ayon, si Solomon, nasa guest room. Nilublob ko sa bath tub."
I shook my head. Nagtawanan sila sa kalokohan ng Tatay ko.
"Sol just helped me, Dad." I told him, "don't be mad at him. That asshole James cheated on me with that Teresa and the media made a fuss so I had no choice. I kissed him, I insisted—"
"Saan na ba 'yon? Papanagutan ka niya dapat—"
"Dad..." I warned and he pouted at me.
"Why? Kami nga ng Misis ko—"
"H'wag mong igaya sa 'yo mga anak mo, Sandejas." Mom rolled her eyes, "baka gusto ko lang ipaalala sa 'yong 'di mo alam ang pangalan ko no'ng nagpakasal tayo, ah?"
Dad froze kaya nagtatakang nilingon ko siya at nakitang ngumunguso na siya roon at mas niyakap ako.
"H'wag kayong maniwala kay Mommy ninyo, siya ang nag-aya sa akin magpakasal. Patay na patay sa akin 'yan, eh. Alam ninyo na, Zeijan-charisma—"
"Buti 'di kami naging mukhang karma." Kuya Zy commented, nag-umpisa na pa lang kumain doon kaya tahimik at nang bumusangot si Dad ay tumaas ang sulok ng labi ko.
"Ikaw, gwapo! Gwapo ka kasi anak kita pero 'yang bibig mo may lumot." He commented.
"What a thick-face man, akala mo siya hindi lumot ang bibig," Mommy hissed, still smiling. "Hayaan mo na ang anak mo. Malalaki na 'yan. They can handle themselves just fine."
"Sol's a good man. You know how responsible he is with his family and the family's business in Sta. Monica. Alam mo namang we can always look forward to him."
"Tss, oo nga..." Dad touched my hair, "warning lang 'yon, mabait pa nga 'ko, eh. Kapag hinarot pa ulit niya ang pretty ghourl ko papaabangan ko na 'yon sa mga tropa ko."
I know he's just joking but his protectiveness of us would always be there. My Dad may be like this most of the times, we can never hide the fact that he's really a loving and caring father and we love him for that.
Unti-unti ay yumakap ako sa baywang ni Daddy. I caught how he stiffened, as if shock with my sudden move.
"Hala, ang prinsesa kong maganda naglalambing..." he said like a puppy. "Misis ko, misis ko, naiiyak na ako sheyt!" he exclaimed, pinapaypayan pa ang mukha niya at umugong ang tawanan sa kwarto sa kanyang kadramahan.
How blessed I was with this weird family, haven't I? Just that...I don't know if I deserved this after what I've done before.
Umalis na sila sa kwarto at nagpaalam na matutulog na pero ang utak ko ay nasa malayo. I couldn't sleep. I remained sitting by the terrace of my room with my night gown and just staring at nowhere.
The horror on my sister's face and the confusion on my brother's one would forever live inside my head and no matter how much Mom and Dad would tell me it isn't my fault, I'll always believe it was mine.
Because it was.
My sister would not be traumatized. My brother would not lose his...
I sighed loudly.
This is all my fault.
"Hala. Nasa heaven na ba ako? May nakikita akong anghel." I came back from my reverie when I heard a voice. Dali-dali akong sumulyap sa ibaba ng terrace at kumunot ang noo nang makita roon si Solomon.
His wearing a plain black shirt and khaki shorts. Nakapamulsa habang nakatingala sa akin sa balkonahe.
He flashed a gentle smile after glancing at his wrist watch.
"Gabi na, Miss Sweet Lips, ah?" he asked, "'di ka makatulog? Gusto mong kausap?"
Hindi ako umimik at humalukipkip lang.
Bakit lumalambot na ako? I should stay away...
"Silent treatment ulit?" natawa siya, "luh, si Sib. Parang others. Tulog naman na ata si Sir Zeijan, 'di na 'ko papagalitan kapag kinulit kita. Gusto mong gatas? Timplahan kita—"
"You shouldn't talk to me again." I decided to say, startling him.
"Huh?" naguguluhan niyang tanong pero tumawa rin pagkaraan. "Bakit naman? Akala ko ba, friends na tayo—"
"I don't think I'll be friends with the likes of you, Mister." I said formally and watched how the smile got wiped out from his lips.
"Bakit?" tumawa pa siyang muli, nagtataka man ay pilit pa ring pinagaan ang paligid, "sorry, napasobra ata ang pang-aasar ko sa 'yo. Sige, babawasan ko ng kaunti—"
"Hope you could refrain talking to me." Malamig kong sambit, "we're strangers, okay? You'll be leaving soon for Sta. Monica. Thank you for helping me earlier but it wouldn't be good if people would see us together again."
Ang pagkalito ay mas lalong bumalot sa kanyang mukha. His mouth slightly parted, as if he's about to say something but I chose to turn my back on him and entered my room silently.
Hindi ako nakatulog no'ng gabing iyon sa pag-iisip. I was even afraid opening my social media account because I know I'm probably the talk of the town tonight.
Rey kept on calling, the reason why I turned my phone off and went on my studio.
I removed my ponytail and turned the lights off, with the soft music from my phone, I started tiptoeing. I raised both of my hand in the air and felt the rhythm of the music.
I want peace. I want silence.
Sa bawat pag-ikot ay sumasabay ang galaw ng aking kamay at paa. Sa bawat pagbilis ng musika ay siya ring pagbilis ng tingkayad ko at ikot sa ere.
Walang katapusan at walang pahinga, sumayaw ako. Sumayaw para mawala ang mga bagay na gumugulo sa utak at nagtatagumpay naman noong una.
I pouted my toes on the ground. Twirled with the song with my leg directly behind me. My eyes are closed as I lift my arms with my back engaged, showing confidence. But just as I'm about to make my final move, the ribbon from my pointe shoe got untangled—the reason why I stepped on it and fell on the ground.
"Shit!" I groaned frustratedly and sat. Kaagad kong hinawakan ang paa ko at hinaplos iyon. "The hell are you doing, Sibyl?!" I whispered to myself.
"Ayos ka lang?" halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang marinig iyon.
I looked at the side and saw the familiar eyes looking at me from the dark. The sight of him made my heart pound.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked sharply, "get out."
He sighed, kitang-kita ko ang paglapit niya sa akin mula sa pintuan, nakapamulsa. Kumunot ang noo ko nang maupo siya sa lapag katabi ko.
"I said get out!" I hissed quietly, moving a bit to separate myself from him and he noticed it but didn't comment. Hinayaan niya ako kaya bumaling ako sa ribbon ng shoes ko at tinitigan iyong nakasabog sa lapag.
"Sorry pala kung bigla akong pumasok, ah? 'Di kasi ako makatulog sa sinabi mo kanina kaya nagdesisyon akong uminom ng tubig sana kaso nadaanan kita. Bukas 'yong studio kaya isasara ko sana kaso nakarinig ako ng tugtog tapos nakita kitang sumasayaw."
Hindi ako umimik. Ang puso ko'y mabigat na hindi ko maipaliwanag kaya nanatili akong nakatitig doon, hinahayaan ang buhok na kumalat sa mukha ko para hindi niya makita ang ekspresyon.
"Ayos lang ba 'yang paa mo? Nakita kong nahulog ka." Bumuntonghininga siya nang hindi ako sumagot. Naramdaman ko ang pagtayo niya mula sa tabi ko, iniisip na aalis na pero sa gulat ko ay pumunta siya sa harapan ko.
Nagitla ako at iniatras ang paa nang hagilapin niya ang ribbon ng sapatos ko.
"H'wag kang mag-alala, itatali ko lang." Marahang sabi niya, nakatitig sa mga mata ko.
"Don't." My strained voice said. "I can do it—"
"Alam kong kaya mo," he said, "pero hayaan mo akong tulungan ka. Baka madapa ka kapag hinayaan mo lang 'to."
Gently, he took my foot. I was hesitant at first but when his calloused palm touched my heel, I felt something got lifted off my chest.
"Lahat naman ng tao malakas, Sib, pero sabi nga nila, no man is an island. May oras pa ring kakailanganin natin ang suporta ng iba kaya dapat, hindi dinibdib 'yan." He said, "isipin mo, wala kang dibdib tapos didibdibin mo problema?"
My forehead creased. I eyed him seriously and saw his eyes widened.
"Hindi ikaw!" he exclaimed and shook his head, "sample lang! Sample!" tawa pa niya pero hindi umangat ang labi ko sa ngiti at pinagmasdan lang siyang itinatali ang ribbon.
The room is dark but he lit despite the darkness it has inside. Balot na balot ng kadiliman at gulo ang isip at dibdib ko pero ang liwanag mula sa buwan ay sumisilip sa bintana sa studio at nahagip siya.
Even if he's too busy tying the ribbon with his thick brows almost meeting each other, he's shining. Siya ang naging liwanag sa dilim ng lugar na iyon at ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagkalma ng mga ingay sa ulo ko habang nakatingin sa kanya.
"Daming problema, ano? Minsan gusto mo na lang talikuran at iwanan pero malungkot kapag mag-isa. May oras ding iisipin mo na sana may kasama ka sa pagtakbo para may karamay ka." Aniya at nang matapos itali ang ribbon ay tumitig sa akin.
I stared at him back. My lips quivered when he lifted his hand and slowly, removed the strands of my messy hair off my cheeks.
"Alam mo ba? 'Di ko lang sinasabi sa 'yo pero idolo ka ng kapatid kong si Fritz." He told me. "Pumunta nga iyon dito sa Maynila kasama ko kasi gusto ka raw niyang makita at sabi ko nga pupunta ako rito pero nahihiya siya kaya ayon, sumama sa mga kaklase kaysa sa akin pero binibisita ko naman." Napatawa siya, "gusto niya ring sumayaw, nakita ka raw niya ng personal ng isang beses na at ang bait mo raw."
"That's what the media says because I'm not." Prenteng sagot ko.
"You are, sabi niya sa akin." He shrugged, "a kid said that kaya naniniwala ako. Mas sobra ka pa kaysa sa sinasabi sa 'yo ng ibang tao. Hindi ka opinyon lang nila."
Hindi ako umimik.
"Peace begins with a smile. Maganda ka na pero mas maganda ka kapag ngumingiti. Sana h'wag mong mawala iyan." Bulong niya.
"Don't touch me." Bulong ko at tinanggal ang kamay niya sa pisngi ko at mabilis na tumayo. "Don't act as if you know me well, Solomon. We're not friends to begin with."
He just stared at me, without saying anything. Suminghap ako at mabilis na tumalikod at tumalilis paalis ng studio, kinakalma ang sarili.
I can never have peace.
The next morning, I was not in the good shape. My family noticed it too but and tried talking to me but I shut them all up and left with the driver to go to the theater.
"Ano bang kape 'to?!" I growled angrily to my assistant and put the cup of coffee harshly on the table.
"M-ma'am?" her eyes widened, "b-bakit po?"
"Tikman mo." I said coldly and she hesitantly took it and looked at me. "Taste it!"
Gently, she took it on her mouth with her shaking hands and I raised my brow.
"Oh? Ano? Anong masasabi mo?"
"M-matabang po..." she said and gulped.
"Oh, you get it now?" I asked coldly. "What do you want me to do? Drink that piece of crap?"
"H-hindi po..." umiling siya, "sorry—"
"I don't need your sorry. Change that piece of trash and give me a new coffee now." Utos ko, "nasaan na si Rey? I will look for another assistant."
"P-po?" she paled up and looked at me hopelessly but I just glanced at her coldly and shrugged.
"Go, now." I shoed her away, "baka gusto mong totohanin ko?"
"I-ito na po," she panicked, "sorry po, Ma'am. Sorry."
When she left, my forehead creased. Nakita ko ang pagpasok ni Rey kaya sumulyap ako sa daliri ko at tinitigan ang kulay ng kuko ko.
"Bakit hindi mo sinasagot ang tawag ko, Sibyl?" Rey asked but I didn't answer him. "Trending ka kahapon! Sa Twitter! Sa Facebook. May mga tao na ring naghahanap sa mystery man mo! 'Di ba, driver 'yon? Bakit—"
"None of your business, Rey." Malamig kong sabi. "Saan na ang kape ko?"
"Manager mo ako, Sibyl." He sighed exasperatedly, "kaya kahit trabaho lang ito, kailangan kong protektahan ang image mo."
"Why am I the only one affected, then?" I asked irritatedly, sumandal ako sa upuan at pagod siyang tinignan sa salamin. "I was the one who got cheated. I know for a fact that James and I are just a show but that asshole had the audacity to fool me with that Teresa! Bakit ako? Dapat sila—"
"Apparently, sinabi ni James na nauna ka kaya gano'n din siya. Dahil sa scene kahapon na hinalikan mo si pogi, naisip ng media na totoo ngang ikaw ang nanguna. Even Teresa said yes to the allegation that it was you who had the third party first."
"That bitch." My mouth formed a thin line, "where the hell is she—" bago pa man ako makatayo ay hinawakan ako ni Rey.
"No, Sibyl." He sighed, "you can't make a scene now. Not now, okay?"
"But she—"
"Mas masisira ang image mo kung papatol ka." Bumuntonghininga siya, "'di ba, sabi mo, gusto mong mag-artista? Paano ka papasok kung pangit na ang image mo?"
I sighed, sinuklay ko ang buhok ko at iritadong namaywang.
"What do you want me to do? Watch that bitch and asshole slander me?" I hissed, "ako ang naagrabyado rito, Rey—"
"That's showbiz, Sibyl. Talagang wala tayong magagawa sa iisipin ng iba. They would drag you down, always! Kaya hindi magandang papatol ka palagi."
Natahimik ako roon, kasabay ng pagbukas ng pinto at pagpasok ng assistant na namumutla at nagulat pa sa amin.
"S-sorry po—"
"Where would you bring my coffee?" I asked coldly and she froze, paamba na siyang aalis pero bumalik sa akin para iabot ang kape.
"M-ma'am, ito na po—" her hand shook, napasinghap ako nang matapon ng bahagya ang kape at nalagyan ang heels ko.
"What the hell..."
"M-ma'am, sorry!" she gasped and lowered the coffee, "p-pupunasan ko po—"
"Leave!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and she panicked more, nang iamba niyang angat ang kape ay natapunan na ang palda ko kaya napaawang na ang labi ko.
"You—"
"Sige na, labas ka na. Labas." Even Rey panicked, mabilis niyang pinalabas ang babae at dali-daling kumuha ng tissue para punasan ang denim pencil skirt ko.
"This is Saint Laurent!" I exclaimed loudly, "can't this day become any more bullshit?!"
I was the talk of the town. I didn't open my social media but found myself looking at it when Mila and Leah told me some fragments of it. I thought what I did with Sol would save me but they used that as an opportunity to label me as someone I am not in the first place.
A damn cheater. They said I cheated with Solomon!
I was annoyed and frustrated the whole rehearsal for the upcoming event. I ruined it actually, dahilan para maagang matapos ito. I was stressed and in the verge of breaking down due to the nonsense issues around surrounding me but I kept it all to myself.
I can handle this issue. I am not weak. I am not.
From: Adira
Hi, Sib! How are you? I'm free today! Wanna hang out?
"Do I really have to go there, Rey?" walang-gana kong tanong sa manager habang nasa kotse kami at bumabyahe.
"Kailangan mo, Sibyl. There are a lot of issues surrounding you and showing up to teach the kids ballet lesson would help you." He explained, "isa pa, foundation ninyo naman iyon. The kids' adore you, wala silang pakialam sa issue. I know their parents would put up a good word for you."
I was annoyed and not in the mood to teach—mostly kids!
To: Adira
I'm a bit busy today, Adi. Maybe next time. Kain ka muna riyan kasama si Abo.
From: Adira
Sayang :((( excited pa naman ako kasi katatapos lang ng exam week pero okay lang. Ingat ka always! Let me know if you need me, okay? I'll make time for you, Sib! Love you!
My lips rose for a smile but it vanished when I saw Rey looking at me.
"Stop looking," I said coldly and lowered my phone, "pakibilisan nang makarating na tayo. I'm gonna do this for thirty minutes, okay? After this, I am out."
I couldn't stand kids. That's what's on my mind when we got into the location and the kids are all loud and a mess when I got there. May mga magulang doon, may iilan ding mga reporter kaya kahit iritado ay binigyan ko sila ng ngiti.
"Sibyl!" mula sa pakikipag-usap sa iilang mga bata na kanina pa nangungulit sa may labas ay ibinaling ko ang pansin sa may pintuan at nangunot ang noon ang makita si Sol.
He's in his fresh white tees and maong pants, very casual yet he stands out from the crowd because of his aura and height.
What is he doing here?
I looked around, some reporters saw him and immediately made eye contact with each other.
My heart pounded nervously. Pinanliitan ko ng mata si Sol pero hindi niya iyon nakuha dahil nakangiti pa siyang lumapit sa akin at namulsa.
"Nandito ka pala? Sabi nila hindi ka matutuloy kaya 'di na ako umasa." He asked, smiling. Suminghap naman ako at hinarap siya. I took his wrist and pulled a bit to the side so I could talk to him.
"What are you doing here?" I asked in my lowest voice.
His lips rose and moved his head closer to me.
"Ay, bakit ka bumubulong?" he whispered, "may secret ba—"
"Don't come near me." I hissed quietly, watching the playful smile on his lips slowly faded.
"Sib?" he asked, confused. "Anong mayro'n—"
"I don't like people seeing us together," malamig kong sabi, halos pabulong na. Mas lalong kinakabahan nang makitang may kumukuha na ng litrato.
"Bakit—"
"You will only ruin my career, Solomon." Mariing sinabi ko na, halos bulong. "I don't like people seeing me with the likes of you. You're just gonna put me on the bad light."
Bumakas ang sakit sa mga mata niya at miski ang puso ko ay sumikip pero desidido akong lumayo sa kanya.
"I am so sorry for dragging you here, Sol. It's not my intention to kiss you, the last thing I'd like is to get involved with you again."
Nanatili siyang nakatingin sa akin. Wala na ang palaging nakapintang mga ngiti sa kanyang labi.
"However, I know I did damages in your part too and let me compensate." I said, "I checked your bank accounts and deposited my payment. Hope it would suffice the damages."
"Ano?" kumunot ang noo niya, "binayaran mo ako?" mas lumamig ang mga mata niya at ipinikit ko mata sandali at tumango.
"Oo, this is business and I have included you in the shitty narrative so, I paid you. H'wag ka nang mahiya, alam ko namang kailangan mo ng pera. Don't thank me, alam kong sobrang kailangan mo 'yan." Pormal kong sabi, "just that, I hope you should stop coming and talking to me. I don't want the media talking about...us."
The flash from the camera shocked me kaya dali-dali akong nag-iwas ng tingin kay Solomon at hindi na siya tinignang muli. Tahimik na pumasok sa room kung nasaan ang mga bata para mag-umpisang magturo.
Those words coming out of my mouth is a normal thing for me but after saying that to Solomon, I felt so heavy and annoyed.
"Wrong." I said out loud when the annoying kids made a wrong twirl. Dumiin ang boses ko at naalalang may media na nasa kabilang kwarto na nanunuod sa salaming pader kaya nilambingan ko ang ngiti.
"Wrong kids," I said gently. "Instead to the right, make a turn to the left. Here, this is the left." Ipinakita ko pa sa kanila ang kamay ko at medyo tumalikod sa direksyon nila para makita nila.
"Gets?"
"Opo, Teacher Sibyl!" they said out loud, some are shouting and it was annoying the hell out of me but I controlled myself.
"Great," I said with a smile, a little girl in the far back catching my attention.
Unlike the other kids, she was composed and calm. She even waved and gave me a smile kaya tinanguan ko na at muling bumaling sa mga bata.
"Okay, kids. Let's make a turn." I said and did one before watching them do it too but the girl from the back can't follow us.
"Little girl at the back." I said and glanced at her, "you're making a wrong twirl. I said left."
"Okay po, Teacher!" she said and smiled brightly. Umikot siya sa sinabi kong direksyon kaya akala ko'y ayos na pero noong pinasimula ko siyang muli ay mali na naman ang galaw niya.
"This is the left." I raised my hand, showing it to her.
"Okay po." She nodded again and I clapped my hands.
"Okay, kids. One last try." I said and played the music kaya humalukipkip ako habang pinapanuod sila. "Very good. Walk, walk, jump. Raise your hand." I lifted my hand again.
"And twirl to the left." I said, iniikot ang daliri ko para ipakita sa kanila ang direksyon pero kagaya ng kanina ay hindi nakuha no'ng bata ang sinasabi ko.
Pinalagpas ko na pero ang mga sumunod na step ay nahirapan na siyang sundan kaya huling-huli na at delayed na kami. I said I will only be staying for thirty minutes but it turned to an hour and half.
Nakikita ko ang bulungan ng mga magulang sa may salamin sabay tingin sa akin at kaagad akong na-conscious at nairita. Suddenly, the gossips they're probably talking about me ran inside my head like pests.
The lighter shades of the room turned darker and messier, thinking how they paint me as a bad person now. Spreading thing not truthful about me. Mas gumulo ang utak ko at mas binalot ng irita.
Hell, they're talking about me, huh? What? After joining the family's foundation, you'll talk ill behind my back?
I looked at the kids and realized they weren't synchronized like how I'd hope it would. Ang gulo-gulo! Ang pangit!
"Stop." I called out when my patience vanished. "You, girl at the back."
Kids looked at her direction and she stopped from twirling. Umabante siya at pinagtinginan ng mga kaklase.
"Yes po, Teacher?"
"Do you really wanna learn ballet?" I asked her and she nodded at me, smiling. I noticed something familiar on her face and it annoyed me more.
"Opo." She nodded.
"Where's your right?" I asked and she raised her hand. "How 'bout your left?" tanong ko pa na inangat niya kaagad. "Make a twirl to your left."
She looked nervous but she made a twirl to the wrong direction. I closed my eyes tightly and almost pulled my hair in frustration.
"You dreaming to be a ballerina?" I asked coldly and she nodded at me and touched her fingers.
"Y-yes po, T-teacher."
"Then, sad to say but ballet isn't for you." I said coldly and her mouth parted.
Her eyes twinkled with the tears while I looked at her nonchalantly.
Biglang nag-ingay ang mga bata at kaagad na napasulyap ako sa kanila sa may kabilang gilid at may nag-aagawan na ng Tutu. Ang iba ay nakahiga na sa lapag kaya kumunot ang noo ko.
Ang iba'y nakuha sa tingin ko sa kanila pero ang iba ay nagsisigawan na at nagtatawanan kaya napigtas na ang hibla ng aking pasensya.
"Quiet!" I exclaimed loudly, stopping everyone from their loud screams. "What are you kids doing?"
"Teacher—"
"Go home now. All of you." Mariing sabi ko, hindi na nakapagtimpi pa, "maybe ballet isn't for anyone in this room. Maglaro lang kayo at mag-ingay diyan, diyan lang kayo magaling."
The kids were silent for a while but then, they all cried all together and that's when I saw the parents from the other room panicked.
Sumabog ang pintuan at pumasok ang gulantang na tumakbo sa akin si Rey.
"Sibyl! What are you—"
"I'm leaving. Shut this annoying kids up. They're irritating." Malamig kong sabi at inabot ang bag ko, tahimik na lumabas ng practice room para maunahan at makaalis kaagad bago pa kuyugin.
Rey called me. Nag-unahan ang media na naroon para malapitan ako pero ang mga guard ay naharangan sila at nakaalis ako ng matiwasay sa lugar at nakasakay ng cab.
I was immediately bombarded with text messages and calls from my family and some media connection but what I opened is Rey's text messages.
From: Rey
Where are you, Sibyl? Maraming advertisements at sponsors ka nang umatras! Answer my calls. They are cancelling your part sa performance!
I chuckled nonchalantly, proceeded into screaming my lungs out inside the bar's private room and three my phone across the wall. Watching how it shattered in just a blink of an eye.
"I'm finished." Bulong ko sa sarili at napatawa, sumimsim muli ng alak at ipinikit ang mata.
"Sibyl! Oh my God! What happened?!" the room's opened and when I looked at it, I saw my bestfriend and cousin, Adira. Behind her is a man really familiar to me.
"Good evening," he greeted me formally and I just raised my brow at him. Hindi ko siya sinagot at bumaling sa pinsan.
"Hi, Adi! Inom tayo!" I giggled and showed her the glass of liquor.
"Oh, no. What happened? You looked like a mess!" she exclaimed. Tumawa lang ako at mas inilapit lang sa kanya ang baso.
"Come on, drink with me." I urged her, "ayain mo 'yang si Abo."
"Nope, I'm okay." Ash shook his head and smiled, "it's okay. I'm just gonna watch you two. Baka malasing kayo, ako ang maghahatid. I also promised Tita Thallia I would take you two home."
I smirked, "weak pala itong BFF mo." I quoted and glanced at Adi. "Inom tayo, Adi!"
She stared at me, hesitant at first but took the glass from me and frowned.
"Pait! Yucky!" she frowned, "anong nangyari ba sa 'yo?"
"I'm finished..." I murmured and smiled at her, "I'm finished, Adi. My career is finished." Bulong ko pa, ang ngiti ay unti-unting napawi at maya-maya'y sumisinghap niya.
"I-I'm finished..." bulong ko at humikbi. "T-tapos na ang career k-ko."
Dinamayan ako ni Adi na uminom pero hindi iyon nagtagal dahil hindi pa ako tuluyang lasing ay tumba na siya. Si Ash ay buhat-buhat pa siya sa braso nito habang naglalakad papunta sa sasakyan at ako'y nakasunod lang sa kanila.
"Ihahatid ka na rin namin, Sibyl." Ash offered and I don't have the means to go and ride my own cab so I shrugged and let him.
Sa buong byahe ay tahimik lang kaming dalawa. He didn't try to start the conversation because he knew me well. I don't talk to much. Mukha namang na-orient siya ng mabuti ni Adira kaya patingin-tingin lang sa akin na nasa likod kasama si Adi na tulog na tulog at nakasubsob sa balikat ko.
"Dito ba ang sa inyo?" he asked when we got into in front of the house and I nodded and sighed.
"Thanks. I'll be leaving first." I said and nodded at him, slowly and carefully fixing Adi's position. "Please, take care of my cousin, okay?"
Lumabas din siya ng sasakyan at tumabi sa akin, tumulong pa sa pag-aayos kay Adi.
"Make sure she'll get home safe and sound. I'm gonna make a call and make sure she's home. Kapag wala..." I looked at him coldly and he just stared at me, slowly gulping.
"I got her," he smiled but he couldn't hide the scared look he had on his eyes.
Ha! Dapat lang matakot ka.
"I know you well, Guerrero." I pointed her and Adi. "No scratch for Adi. Careful driving. Kapag nalaman kong may galos 'yan..."
"Yes, Ma'am." He even saluted at me and gave me a smile.
I shot my brows and frowned, naiiling na tumalikod at kipkip ang bag ay pumasok sa mansyon at hindi na nagulat nang salubungin ng pamilya.
"What did you just do, Sibyl Timothea?" Mom's cold and scary voice filled my ear.
"Hey, Mom." I smiled at her and glanced at him. "Dad, hi."
"Why did you turn your phone off, Sibyl?" seryosong sabi ni Dad sa akin. "Everyone is worried of you. Kung hindi pa nagsabi si Adi—"
"Oh, just cut the crap, Dad." I laughed a little, "I know you two are mad at me. Come on, scold the hell out of me."
Dad moved a little closer and frowned at me, humor wasn't on his face.
"You are drunk," he pointed out. "Sibyl, what happened? Bakit gano'n ang video na kumakalat? You scolded the kids?"
"What? Can't I?" I asked before smiling. "They are too slow, masakit sa ulo—"
"They are just kids, Sibyl!" Mom's voice raised. "Of course, they won't get the steps that fast! Mga bata iyon—"
"Those kids are nothing but bunch of annoying, loud and slow ones." I said, watching how the shock filled my Dad's eyes.
"What? What the hell did you say, Sibyl?" Mom asked seriously.
"I am saying that I am tired of teaching them. Pagod na akong makipag-plastikan sa kanila."
"Ano?!" mas tumaas ang boses niya. "They are just—"
"Kids, I know. They are kids." Malamig kong sinabi. "But they are so slow and annoying."
"That's bullshit, Sibyl Timothea." Maanghang na sabi ni Mommy, gulat man ay bakas ang disappointment sa kanyang boses. "What happened to you?"
Hindi ako umimik. I was kinda dizzy and feeling drunk but I expected this one so I am ready for this.
"And what is it, huh? Binayaran mo si Sol? Para saan?" she asked, I have never seen her this serious and mad.
Oh, hell. He told my parents about it?!
Mas nairita ako nang marinig iyon. Sumbungero ang gago. Akala mo naman hindi natuwa sa pera!
"Misis," Dad called and looked at me, "Sibyl, kumalma kayong dalawa muna—"
"No, Dad. Let Mom talk." I said coldly, "she's gonna ask me why I shouted at the kids. Let me answer, firstly, they are loudly annoying. They have no future in dancing like me—"
"How dare you say that to those children, Sandejas?" mariing tanong ni Mommy. Tumaas na ang balikat niya at humugot na ng hininga sa galit.
"Bakit? Totoo naman, right?" I smiled sweetly at her, "for all I know. The parents of those kids who joined our foundation says bad gossips behind our backs—"
"They are innocent, Sibyl Timothea." Seryosong sabi ni Dad kaya hinarap ko siya at mariin na rin ang tingin niya. "Let's say their parents are like that pero mga bata pa iyon. Of course, they are slow at first, Sib. They are not a professional like you kaya—"
"And I paid Solomon for his service. He helped me but it ruined my career too. We both ruined each other. He made a damage and I am suffering now while he is too, kaya nga binayaran ko na at kailangan din naman niya ng pera."
Napatulala lang sa akin si Mom at si Dad ay napailing at suminghap.
"Sibyl, let's talk calmly. H'wag ka nang sumabat—"
"What? What's with the disappointed look, parents?" I asked, "this attitude of mine, nakuha ko rin naman 'to kay Mommy, right? Kaya masisisi mo ba ako—"
A loud gasp left my lips when Mom's palm landed on my cheek.
"M-mom..." I uttered, shocked and confused. Nangilid ang luha ko sa gulat sa nangyari.
"How dare you say that, Sibyl?!" she exclaimed, "aminado akong hindi ako mabait pero hindi ako matapobre kagaya mo!"
"Misis..." Dad called.
"Ako? M-matapobre?" I gasped and looked at my father and her. "I-I'm not! Nasaan na si Sol? Let him talk! He should thank me for giving him money—"
"How could he thank you when you shamed his little sister on that event, Sibyl? Huh?!" she exclaimed, stopping me.
"H-huh?" I gasped, "what are y-you saying—"
"That little girl who can't dance well? She's his sister and she was sick! She idolized you a lot! The reason why she went here in Manila, wanting to learn from you and you...you." She closed her eyes, "you let her down, Sibyl. You let the hopeful kid down! And you know what? I looked up to you because you are my daughter. A lot has happened and I understand why you became distant but what you did now? There are no excuses, Sibyl." She uttered, kumikislap ang galit sa mga mata.
"You are just plain rude and unreasonable. H'wag mo akong ikumpara sa 'yo dahil kahit kailan, kahit kailan, hindi umabot sa ganyang kasahol ang ugali ko. Pinalaki ka ba naming ganyan ng Daddy mo?!" acid dripped on her voice.
"I will ground you. You disappoint me, Sibyl." She shook her head and my tears fell when she turned her back on me. Ni hindi siya ni Dad napigilan sa pag-alis kaya umawang ang labi ko at sumulyap kay Daddy na tahimik lang na sinundan ng tingin si Mom.
"D-dad..." I called him, panicking with my Mom's statement. "You can't possibly ground me, r-right? You can talk to Mommy—"
"I'm sorry but I couldn't, young lady." He said seriously.
"B-but Dad," I murmured, "I-I'm gonna apologized to Solomon a-and—"
"Mistakes have consequences and what you did right now, was plain unreasonable to me. I'm gonna take your cards and—"
"You can't possibly do this to me!" I exclaimed loudly, "you can't cut me off—"
"Oh, I would, Sibyl Timothea." Malamig at seryosong sabi ni Daddy. "That attitude of yours worsened nowadays and I would not tolerate it."
"But Dad..." I whined, "I-I'm your princess! A-and I'm gonna work on my projects! I was drunk and mad at the issues! Kaya ako nawala sa sarili—"
"No justification for the wrong things you did today, Sibyl." He said, "surrender your cards, prepare your baggage and call your grandparents."
"W-what? For?" natigilan ako at napakurap. "W-why—"
"You are taking the first flight to Sta. Monica first thing tomorrow." He said seriously, not even an ounce of humor etched on his eyes.
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