Kabanata 27
Kabanata 27
"Fuck, Philie!" Angelo cursed, kaagad na nawala ang ngisi ko nang natantong naumpog ang ulo niya sa headboard sa biglaang pagtulak ko.
"Oh my God!" singhap ko at mabilis na napaluhod sa kama, nag-alala dahil sa nakitang napapikit pa siya at napahawak sa ulo niya.
"Hala..." napatakip ako ng bibig, mabilis siyang nilapitan at sinapo ang bunbunan niyang tumama sa headboard. "I'm sorry, are you okay?" malambing kong tanong.
His forehead's creased, napamulat siya ng mata kaya parang maamo akong bat ana ngumiti.
"Sorry, Gelo. Okay ka lang—"
"Sino ka?" he suddenly asked with his creased forehead, nahulog na ang panga ko.
"What..."
"Where am I?" he sat slowly and looked around before shifting his gaze at me. "N-nasaan ako?"
My heart pounded nervously, "Gelo—"
"Nasa puso mo." He suddenly winked and grinned.
"Gago." I said hardly and he barked out in laughter. Bumusangot ako at pinalo ang braso niya pero tatawa-tawa niya lang akong inabot.
"Sorry, babe," he chuckled again, "I was just—"
"Kung umpugin ko kaya 'yang ulo mo ulit. Sa pader naman?" sikmat ko at bumusangot pero tuwang-tuwa lang ang gago.
He reached for my hand, hinampas ko iyon ng iritado at tinalikuran siya.
"Hmp! Pangit mo ka-bonding! Ayoko na sa 'yo!" I hissed, annoyed. Mabilis kong ibinaba ang paa ko sa kama para sana bumaba pero nagulat sa biglaang galaw niya.
He pulled my waist and my forearm, isang malakas na tili ang lumabas sa bibig ko nang hilahin niya akong pabalik at natanto na lang na nasa hit ana niya ako.
My heart's pounding harshly, napalunok ako nang tumama ang kanyang hininga sa batok ko at pumulupot ang braso sa baywang ko.
I stilled.
"Gelo!" I hissed, kunwari'y matapang at ayaw pa ng nangyayari pero feel na feel naman.
"What, hmm, babe?" he hummed, mas lumalim ang paghinga ko nang ang isang kamay niya'y napunta sa batok ko. Hinawi niya ang buhok ko at napaawang ang labi ko nang maramdaman ang maliliit na halik niya roon.
"Vanilla," he whispered and kissed my nape. "My Philie smells like vanilla, do you taste the same, huh?"
Natahimik ako, medyo lumingon ako sa kanya at nakita ang pilyo niyang ngiti sa akin.
"Edi..." I gulped harshly, "edi tikman mo."
Nag-init ang pisngi ko, isang galaw lang niya at marahang angat ng hita ko ay paharap na akong nakaupo sa kanya.
Nagsalubong ang mga mata namin.
Fire reflected on those dark orbs he has. Napalunok ako lalo na nang umangat ang kanyang kamay na nasa gilid ko ay umangat sa may tiyan ko.
"Would you taste vanilla?" he asked naughtily, his husky voice giving me goosebumps.
I encircled my arms on nape, moving my head closer to his when our nose touched.
"Paano mo nga kasi malalaman kung 'di mo kakainin," sagot ko naman pabalik kaya mahina siyang natawa. I felt how his hand tried and untucked my blouse, my eyes shutting close when his bare fingers touched my navel.
"Lumalaki na tiyan natin, ah?" he whispered over my lips kaya bigla akong natigilan.
I moved a bit away from him and saw him staring at my stomach. Kaagad naman akong kinain ng kaba kaya tumikhim ako at inabot ang pisngi niya kaya napatingin siya sa akin.
"P-pagkain 'yan," I explained and moved my head to give him a chaste kiss.
He kissed me back but then smiled in between, muling humaplos sa tiyan ko.
"Of course, it's food." He whispered against my lips, biting the lower part before sensually licking it. "My babe ate a lot these days, of course."
"Oo nga," lumayo ako ng bahagya sa kanya, kinakabahan pa rin. "P-pagkain 'yan, ano bang iniisip mo? 'Di kasi ko nag-e-exercise nito nakaraan! Kung ano-anong iniisip mo!"
"Oo nga," sagot pa niya, tunog natatawa. "Ano nga bang iniisip ko?" his fingers traced my stomach and I gasped when it tickled a bit.
"What do you think, babe?" he looked up at me kaya namilog na ang mata ko.
"A-aba, malay ko sa 'yo?" I hissed, nagpapanggap pa. "Malaki lang tiyan ko kasi busog ako, bilbil 'yan, Dean Angelo!"
"Hmm, okay." He grinned and looked at me again, "bilbil it is." He pressed a quick kiss on my lips.
Napahinga ako ng maluwag doon.
Shit, nakakaloka! Akala ko talaga hindi siya maniniwala! Mabuti na lang mabilis paniwalain 'tong gungong na 'to!
He stared at me, I stared back at him at nagtagisan kami ng tingin.
He was looking at me like he wanted to devour me while I am almost glaring at him. I pouted. He smiled. 'Di ko na natiis at inumpog ko na ang noo ko sa kanya.
"Aww..." he whined and touched his forehead.
"Ano? Titigan? Akala ko ba, kainan?" walang gana kong tanong.
He burst out laughing, mukhang aliw na aliw siya pagtripan ako samantalang stress na stress na nga ako at ang tagal ng pa-buffet!
"Alright my impatient babe," he grinned and moved me again, mabilis niya akong naihiga sa kama at ipinatong ang kamay sa aking ulunan. "Let me eat you right this time."
I am horny.
Yeah, it was hard to admit but I am. Super. I wasn't like this before! Of course, I am craving for him but not this much!
The hunger is visible on his eyes, he sure looks like he'd like to devour me wholly kaya ready na ready naman ang lola niyo.
I slowly unbuttoned my blouse, lumalim naman ang paghinga niya at mas inilapit lang ang katawan sa akin.
"You sure taste sweet, Dra." he said and looked at my breast slowly uncovering.
"Hmm, you sure is fuckable." Bulong ko pabalik at mas nagdilim lang ang tingin niya.
He sat a bit in between my parted legs, kitang-kita ko ang paggalaw ng muscles niya habang kinakalas ang butones ng damit at nabasa ko ang labi.
A golden chained necklace is what I first saw with a familiar ring as its pendant. Tumitig ako roon at napasinghap nang maalala.
"Is that my..." I pointed his necklace and he glanced at it. Nodding, he threw his dress shirt somewhere before crawling closer towards me to grant me a kiss.
"Your ring?" he whispered, "hmm, yes. I might become stray these days but I'm still bringing a piece of my home with me."
Nangilid ang luha ko, hindi ko na rin napigilan ang basta na lang pag-alpas nito kaya nag-panic siya.
"Shh, babe..." he hushed and frantically dried my tears. "Bakit ka umiiyak?"
"Wala lang..." I sniffed, "'di ko alam kung bakit ako emotional p-pero kasi, mukha kang..." I bit my lower lip.
"Mukhang?" he asked me gently.
"Mukha kang ligaw na tuta, gusto kitang ampunin." I answered and cried when his mouth parted dramatically at me.
"Philomena..." he warned and I sniffed more and touched his chin.
"Abunjing-abunjing..." I said in a small voice and caressed his cheek.
'Di kami magkaintindihang dalawa. Naiiyak ako kasi mukha siyang tuta pero natatawa rin dahil asar siya pero walang sinasabi. He was just looking at me, hinahabaan ang pasensya pero kapag hinahawakan ko ang buhok niya at pina-pat na parang aso ay mas bubusangot.
"I thought I'm gonna eat you, Philie." He retorted and dried my tears. "Why are you petting me now like a fucking puppy?"
"Abunjing—" I screamed and laughed harder when he tickled me. Sa sobrang harutan naming dalawa ay gumulong na ako sa kama at nahuli niya ang kamay ko.
Doon na ako natigil. He pinned both of my hands above my head. Jailed my legs in between his parted ones and without saying anything, dipped his face so he could kiss me fully on the lips.
I was easily horny again. Kapit na kapit ako sa bedsheet nang maabot iyon dahil sa lalim ng halik at init na lumulukob sa katawan. He is something, just his kisses alone are enough to give me a third-degree burn kaya baliw na baliw ata ako sa kanya.
He successfully removed my blouse, isang galaw ay nahila na niya pababa ang brassiere ko at basta na lang ipinasok sa bibig ang dibdib ko.
I moaned in pleasure, shivers went up on my spine when his other hand touched my feminity in between the clothes separating us. I moved my hips against his, I felt his crouch bulging until it came to life and now rubbing against mine.
I encircled my legs on his waist, habang nagpapalit-palit siya ng halik sa magkabilang dibdib ko ay iginagalaw ko ang balakang para mas akitin siya.
Ramdam na ramdam ko ang gigil niya, humawak pa nga siya sa baywang ko para pigilin pero hindi rin nagawa dahil sa galaw ko. I started dry humping him, napamura naman siya ng mariin habang naghahabol ng hininga.
His tongue flicked back and forth of my twin peaks, sucking on it, giving my chest his marks.
"You're mine..." he whispered and tried opening my pants, "you're mine, Philie."
"Akin ka rin," mahinang sabi ko at napatingin siya, ang maiinit na tingin ay tila nagningas lalo.
"I'm yours?" he asked in a low, husky voice. The amazement can be heard.
"Yes," I nodded and bit my lower lip shyly. "Sa akin ka rin."
"Oh, fuck..." he uttered and without second thoughts, rose again to face me and caged my lips with his.
Malalim ang palitan namin ng halik, parang 'di kami nag-jugjugan nitong nakaraan lang sa sobrang sabik at mahihila na niya sana paalis ang pantalon ko kung hindi lang nag-ingay ang telepono niya.
We both froze, nagkatinginan na kaming dalawa pero sabay na nagkibit-balikat at nagbalik sa halikan.
I was busy touching his pecks, his abdomen and that oh-so-yummy abs! Pinisil-pisil ko pa ang braso niya pero muli na namang nag-ingay ang phone niya.
Hindi namin iyon pinansin, humawak siya sa dibdib ko para marahan iyong pisilin at imasahe kaya umawang ang labi ko.
"Shit, Gelo!" I gasped, "stop with the teasing—" my voice was cut off again by the sound from his phone kaya natigilan na kami.
Our eyes met, nakita ko ang busangot niya kaya ngumuso na ako.
"Just...answer it?" I asked and he sighed, ayaw pa no'ng una pero kinuha rin ang pants niyang hinubad sa lapag at kinuha ang phone.
"It's my mother," he said and sighed, showing it to me kaya napatawa na ako.
"You should answer it," I told him and he sighed and nodded, even kneeling on the bed to kissed my chest and stood, as if he did nothing.
"Bastos..." bulong ko at napatakip sa dibdib, "lapain ba naman ang boobs ko?!"
I waited for him, handang-handa na akong magpakain pagbalik niya pero nahagip ng mata ko ang chocolate cookies kong tira sa may side table.
Mabilis akong napabalikwas, biglang nagtubig ang bagang at binalot ang sarili sa kumot at kinuha iyon.
I opened the zip lock, mabilis akong sumandal sa headboard ng kama at nilantakan ang pagkain ko. The door separating my small terrace and room opened and Angelo's pouting lips is what I first noticed.
"Tss," reklamo niya, "I told her I'm doing fine here and pursuing you tapos sinabi niya dapat daw hindi na lang niya ako inire."
"Oo nga," komento ko rin habang ngumunguya at mula sa pagkabusangot ay napabalik siya sa pagkaing hawak ko.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his brow shot up. "I thought we're making love?"
"Hmp," I bit my cookie again, "ayaw ko na. tamad na ako." Sabat ko bago sumandal lalo at ngumisi sa kanya.
Umawang ang labi niya, "what?!" reklamo niya, "babe! I am fucking..." he closed his eyes kaya bumaba ang tingin ko sa boxers niya at tumango.
"Ah, hard?" I asked, "edi palambutin mo."
"What the hell..." protesta niya pa at nagmula pero maliit lang akong ngumiti, inangat ko ang cookie sa ere at pinakita sa kanya.
"Kain tayo?" I asked and he sighed, calming himself down.
He moistened his lower lip, his digits brushed his disheveled hair as he gently knelt on the bed closer to me.
"Alright, it's okay." He showed me a side smile, "let me just eat your cookie—" bigla kong inilayo ang cookie sabay kain sa harap niya.
"Luh, asa ka..." I grinned and screamed when he caught my body and showered my face with his kisses.
"Ikaw na makulit ka..." reklamo niya at hinuli akong kumakawala sa kanya.
That was enough for me, hindi ko alam kung paanong ang pag-uusap naming iyon sa rooftop ay nakapagpagaan talaga ng loob ko.
"Pakainin mo 'ko," mahinang sabi ko sabay hila sa shirt ni Angelo habang sinusuklayan niya ang buhok ko mula sa likod.
We were seated on the bed with me, still naked. Sa aking likod ay nakaupo siya at minamasahe ang anit ko bago ako suklayan.
"What do you want to eat?" he asked gently and brushed my hair.
"Kiwi—"
"You should try and eat something else, babe." He told me, "try going out of Kiwi or even limit it but anyway, Kiwi is much better than chocolates. From two, we'll limit it to one—"
"What?!" iritado ko na siyang nilingon, "two is a limit—"
"You're a pediatrician so you knew well how bad too much chocolate is bad for—" he heaved a deep breath, "for you."
Ngumuso ako, malungkot akong sumandal sa dibdib niya kaya yumakap ang isang braso niya sa tiyan ko at ang isa ay sa may balikat ko.
"Nagiging matakaw na ba 'ko?" mahinang tanong ko.
"Yeah—" kinurot ko siya. "—no." Biglang bawi niya kaya tumango na ako.
"I know," malungkot kong sabi at hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. "Pero gusto ko chocolate..."
"We can try alternative sweets—"
"Gusto ko chocolate," ulit ko pa.
"Yeah, of course but babe—"
"Sabing gusto kong chocolate bakit mo 'ko kinokontra?!" I hissed kaya natahimik siya.
Miski ako ay natahimik din, nakagat ko ang labi ko at napatitig sa kanya. Hindi alam kung bakit pero nagtutubig na ang mata.
"A-ang sama-sama kong tao." Mahinang sabi ko habang nakatingin sa kanya kaya napanganga siya. "P-palagi na lang kita nasisigaw."
"Philomena..." he panicked.
"H-hindi naman ako ganito," I sobbed. "M-mabait naman ako! B-bakit ang salbahe ko na?"
"Hey, babe..." nabakas ko ang takot sa kanya, "why are you—"
"A-ayoko naman sumigaw..." my voice broke, "p-pero kasi...'di ko sinasadya, s-sorry..."
"Shh..." he suddenly hugged me, napahikbi naman akong lalo nang maramdaman ang init ng katawan niya at halik sa buhok ko. "It's okay..."
"Gagalit ka?" nanghihinang bulong ko. Umiling naman siya at mas yumakap sa akin.
"Hindi, hindi..." he chuckled lowly. "Why would I get mad to my babe? It's okay, I don't take it to the heart."
"Talaga?" with my teary eyes, I looked back at him and he nodded, smiling.
"Hmm, hindi ko ata kayang magalit sa 'yo." He caressed my cheek, "mahal na mahal kita. Ano na lang gusto mo kainin?"
"Popcorn?" maliit na boses kong sagot.
"Alright, popcorn for my babe coming up!" he planted a quick kiss on my forehead. "I'll just run to the nearest convenient store."
When he left, I decided to take a bath. Iritadong-iritado naman ako sa mood swings ko kaya pakamot-kamot ako ng kilay.
"Baby, why are you being hard with Mommy?" mahinang tanong ko sa tiyan ko. "Want natin si Daddy tapos biglang ayaw na?"
Ngumuso ako at muling naupo, "pero pangit naman kasi ni Angelo." Bulong-bulong ko pa at binuksan ang T.V.
When Angelo came back, I was watching animal planet.
"Hi, babe. I'm back." He greeted and even kissed my cheek pero 'di ko siya nilingon at humalukipkip lang.
"Sungit naman natin diyan?" natatawang tanong pa niya.
He removed the hair covering my neck and kissed my skin but I moved away and frowned.
"Oh?" tanong ko.
"I just want a kiss?" nagtatakang sagot niya pero tinaasan ko lang siya ng kilay.
"Kiss-kiss ka riyan," simangot ko. "Bakit 'di ka maligo ro'n at ang baho mo?"
His eyes widened, mabilis niyang inamoy ang sarili at ang damit bago ako nagtatakang tignan.
"I'm not—"
"Mabaho ka sabi, bakit mo 'ko kinokontra?" malamig kong sabi at napatulala siya sa akin bago mayamaya'y biglang lumambing ang mata at natawa.
"Oh, of course." He chuckled like he was excited and even jumped on the sofa to sit beside me. "Of course, I knew this." Sabi niya sabay yakap.
I was annoyed, I pushed him again from me while frowning pero ayaw naman niya patalo at sige lang halik sa mukha ko.
"Dean Angelo, kadiri ka!" tampal ko sa bibig niya pero mas naaliw pa siya roon at sinapo ang mukha ko.
"You know what, babe? I still love you." Aniya na parang nagtatapat ng pag-ibig kaya tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.
"Oh, tapos?" I asked.
"Tapos sobrang mahal kita. Tapos mahal ulit kita. Tapos mahal ulit—"
"Popcorn?" I cut him off kaya napasinghap na siya at tumango.
Angelo being talkative is annoying but cute at the same time. Actually, depende sa mood ko. Naiirita na nga ako't nai-stress ako sa ugali ko pero wala naman akong magawa dahil mood changes is a part of pregnancy.
When he came back, I was busy checking my phone and reading the email my lawyer sent me. Isang hawak sa kamay at halik sa pisngi ay alam ko nang katabi ko na siya.
"What are you doing?" he asked, "I cooked you two flavors. One with the barbeque and cheese. Hiniwalay ko lang. Itong side 'yong cheese tapos ito 'yong barbeque."
"Angelo," I called and he stopped. Binalingan ko siya at nakitang nagtataka ang mata niya.
"Hmm?"
"Divorced na tayo," I told him. "Officially."
Saglit siyang natulala pero biglang ngumiti at tumango.
"Okay," aniya at inabot ang bangs ko para suklayin.
"Okay?" takang tanong ko, "I just told you we're divorced?"
"That's the point, Philie." He explained and caressed my cheek with his fingers. "I'll let you divorce me so I won't cage you in that messy marriage we had before."
Mas kumalabog ang dibdib ko, tila lumulutang ako habang nakatitig sa malambing niyang mga mata. Ang yelong bumabalot noon ay natunaw ko na.
"It doesn't mean we're divorced I'll separate myself to you entirely." He said in a low voice, "of course it hurts but it's for the better. Ayokong ituloy ang kasal na sakit lang ang ibinigay sa 'yo, you deserved genuine happiness, Philomena. Sisimulan ko ulit. Gagapang ako sa lusak para makuha ka ulit."
His words made my eyes swell and before he could see me that way, I looked down on his foofds and took it from him.
"Masarap ba 'to?" tanong ko at pasimpleng pinunasan ang luha.
"Oo, pero mas masarap ka." Sabat niya kaya bumalik ang luha ko.
He groaned when I slapped his leg and grinned at me kaya umirap ako.
"Tss, akala mo napakagwapo. Tignan mo 'yang T.V., kamukha mo 'yong unggoy!" I pointed it, "pakain ko sa 'yo 'tong lagayan ng popcorn, eh."
He laughed, inakbayan niya ako at hinila palapit sa kanya kaya hinayaan ko na. nangiti ako at pasimpleng sumandal sa dibdib niya.
I missed this. I missed this kind of warmth. The security only he could give me.
"Pahingi—" tinampal ko ang kamay niya. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa at bakas ang gulat sa kanya sa ginawa ko.
"Why?"
"Anong hingi?" simangot ko, "kumuha ka ng sarili mong popcorn do'n! akin 'to!" I possessively wrapped my arms around my bucket of popcorn and he laughed.
"Seriously?" he asked unbelievably and then stared at me. I snarled.
"Okay...okay." His lips twisted for an amused grin, "the things hormones could do to you—"
"Ano? May sinasabi ka?" angil ko.
"Wala naman, wala..." naiiling siyang tumayo at sumaya na ako nang bumalik siyang may sarili ng lagayan.
Kanya-kanya dapat! Anong share?
Wala kaming pansinan habang nanunuod. Well, ako lang naman ang hindi namamansin.
Nalungkot ako nang makitang paubos na ang popcorn ko, mabilis akong dumungaw sa lagayan ni Angelo at mas nalungkot nang makitang madami pa ang kanya at gusto ko sanang humingi pero ma-pride ako.
"Gusto mo?" he asked when he saw me looking pero umirap ako sa hangin at muling bumaling sa pagkain ko.
I heard his chuckle, hindi ko na pinansin at muling bumaling sa palabas at napangiti nang makita ang mga cute na wild animals.
Angelo stood from his seat, bahagya ko siyang nilingon at nakitang pumunta siya sa kusina kaya suminghap na ako.
Walang pagdadalawang-isip na inabot ko ang lagayan niya. Panicking, I poured the contents from his bucket to mine and brought back to his place before he could come back.
Paglabas niya ay umayos ako ng upo, mula sa peripheral vision ko ay nakita ko ang pagdungaw niya sa lagayan niya. He glanced my way, bahagya akong lumayo at pasimpleng kumain ng popcorn.
"Bakit naubos 'to?" bulong-bulong niya pero nagpanggap akong walang naririnig.
Wala naman siyang sinabi, nang makalahati ko ang popcorn ko at umalis siya ay inulit ko ang ginawa at mabilis ding ibinalik at natatawa na ako nang napakamot na siya ng batok at binalingan ako.
Pasimple akong sumipol at nagkunwaring walang naririnig. I can feel his stares at me, mariing kinagat ko ang labi nang mas lumapit siya sa akin. Ang braso ay ipinatong pa niya sa likod ko sa sofa kaya natigalgal na ako.
"Dami nating popcorn, ah?" komento niya habang dinudungaw ang lagayan ko.
"S-s'yempre!" I exclaimed and hid my bucket from him. "M-mabagal kasi 'ko kumain, 'di kagaya mo na matakaw."
Gulat siyang tumitig sa akin, tinaasan ko naman ng kilay kaya mas napatawa siya at humalik sa noo ko.
"Buti na lang mahal kita," his lips twisted to hide his amused smile before he took his bucket of popcorn and poured it on mine.
"Here, sa 'yo na." Aniya kaya nagningning ang mata ko kakatitig.
"Really? Yehey!" I cheered in amazement, nagliliwanag na nilingon siya. Tumango siya at ngumiti.
"Yep, eat well, babe." He said, "ano pa bang gusto mo?"
"Hmm," napaisip ako at dumukot sa bucket. Sumubo ako ng akin bago siya subuan na kaagad niyang tinanggap at mas umakbay sa akin.
I glanced at the television, pinag-iisipan kung ano pang gusto ko hanggang sa inilabas ang clip ng isang aso.
My eyes swelled because of its cuteness, I reached for Angelo's shirt and gripped it—a reason why he glanced my way and saw my teary eyes.
"Philie—"
"G-gusto ko puppy?" bulong ko at napasinghot, "parang-awa mo na, gusto ko puppy..." I cried loudly.
Napatitig lang siya sa akin pero mayamaya'y tumawa at mabilis akong niyakap.
I felt so tired today that Angelo carried me on the bed. Tahimik akong nakayakap sa batok niya, ang mukha'y nakasubsob sa dibdib habang nakapikit.
I felt him lowered me. Sa pagmulat ko ay nasalubong ko ang pamilyar niyang mga mata. Puno ito ng lambing at pag-aalala.
"Sleepy?" he asked in a low voice and I nodded.
"Medyo," paos kong sabi.
"You should sleep," he whispered and smiled at me, brushing my hair. Inangat niya rin ang kumot sa katawan ko.
Hindi ako umimik, inantay ko siyang humiga sa tabi ko pero nagtaka lang nang maglatag siya ng sapin sa lapag, pinatay ang ilaw at nahiga roon.
"Bakit diyan ka?" marahang tanong ko. "You can sleep here, malamig ata diyan?"
"It's okay," sagot niya.
He just smiled at me, napatingin ako sa kamay kong inabot niya mula sa kumot at hinaplos. I moved a little para mas masilip siya, kitang-kita ko mula sa pwesto ko ang singsing na suot niya pa rin habang hinahaplos ang akin na wala na.
"I'm sorry again, Philie." He started off. "You may be tired of me apologizing again and again pero ako 'di mapapagod kakahingi ng tawad sa nagawa ko."
"Gelo," I called when I noticed the tears on the side of his eyes. Malimlim ang ilaw dahil sa maliit na lampshade pero kumikislap ang mga mata niya.
"Mahal na mahal kita," his voice broke when he said that. "I understand if you don't believe me anymore, I understand why you got tired. I was wrong. I've hurt you, Philie."
Kinagat ko ang labi ko at humugot ng hininga para hindi maiyak sa naririnig sa kanya.
"I won't make any excuses because I know what I did wrong and I accept it. I was an asshole. Nakinig ako sa sinabi ni Sam sa sinabi niya sa 'yo. That time, I just don't know what to believe, babe. I can feel something about you, I felt you have something in me the moment and I set my eyes on you but I had my doubts. I woke up not knowing you, remembering Sam as my girlfriend kaya hindi ako makapaniwala." He touched my hand more.
"When I woke up, you are making me curious. I didn't know about you at first and I thought's she's my girlfriend so I separated myself from you. It's wrong because she's my girlfriend while I'm secretly checking you. An asshole move but what I'm feeling is weird. I can see the way you're looking at me and I don't know why but I wanna know if you have feelings for me."
"Talaga?" medyo napatawa pa ako roon, "halatado ba masyado?"
"Hmm," his lips rose. "Your eyes says so, I'm attracted—no, I'm annoyed whenever I see people around you and you're laughing with them. 'Di ko alam kung bakit pero selos na selos ako."
"You have her," I sighed. "You looked happy with her."
"That's what I want to show you." He heaved an exasperate sigh, "I wanted to see if you have feelings for me. If you're jealous."
"Gago ka ba?" I said in a hard tone.
"Oo, gago." He chuckled lowly. "Ang gago-gago kasi gusto kong malaman kung gusto mo rin ba ako."
I nodded, understanding his reasons.
"When you told me we're married. Of course, I was shocked. Yeah, I have feelings for you before I could even identify it and I should be elated but still, sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari sa akin kaya hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Sam is the only person I had before who's been telling me stories, tinanong ko siya bakit hindi niya sinabi sa aking asawa kita. She told me you're cheating on me and that...my parents arranged you for me."
"That's why you asked for divorce," mahinang sabi ko at tumango siya. Ang kamay kong hawak niya ay ipinatong niya sa pisngi niya.
"Such a wrong move, gulong-gulo ako. Inaalala kita pero sumasakit 'yong ulo ko kaya hindi ko pinipilit masyado pero sana...sana mas pinilit ko pa. Sana maaga pa lang naalala na kita." He kissed my palm. "But when you told me you weren't cheating and you asked me to get to know you, I'm more than willing."
"But Stacy happened," bulong ko at tumango na, mas napapagtagpi ang iniisip niya noon.
"I'm sorry if I wasn't there when you needed me, Philie." His tone's somber and disappointed, "even I was disappointed of myself. Sana hindi ko na lang pinuntahan si Sam, sana umuwi na ako kaagad sa 'yo. Ni hindi man lang kita nadamayan."
"I-I'm sorry..." mabilis niyang hinawi ang luhang muling nahulog. "I'm sorry for my mistakes, for not being there when you needed a husband. For not being there as your home when you needed shelter, for breaking my vows."
"It wasn't just you who broke the vows, miski ako." Mahinang sagot ko at pinunasan ang luha niyang kumikislap sa kabila ng dilim sa paligid. "Biktima lang tayo ng mga pangyayaring hindi natin makontrol. You went out that day to buy me some fresh breads and got into an accident, you didn't like that to happen in the first place."
"You also got tired of me and I understand it," tumango siya habang nakatitig sa mukha ko. "You did your best to save our marriage, Philie. You did well, babe. Baka hindi lang talaga para sa atin pa ang kasal na 'yon."
"You know what?" I realized something, "I understand it fully now. Sumubok tayong umayos pero naliligaw ng landas parehas. Parehong nadala sa emosyon sa mga bagay na hindi naman natin hawak. Instead of listening to you, nagpadala ako sa emosyon. Pareho lang tayo. We could've fixed it earlier if we only communicated."
"I'm sorry..." he uttered, "I should've tried harder, Philie. Sana...sana nadamayan kita kay Stacy no'ng kailangan mo 'ko, sana nabisita ko man lang ng huling beses ang anak natin."
"Stacy wasn't here with us now but I know she's at peace when she died. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't mine either. Maybe the Gods decided to take his beautiful child in heaven with him so she won't feel pain anymore."
When I sniffed, I heard him did too. Mas naiyak ako nang maupo na sa lapag si Angelo at idinikit ang noo sa akin, mahigpit ang hawak sa mga kamay ko.
"I-I'm so sorry too, Gelo. K-kasi sinira ko rin 'yong pangako ko sa 'yo. Sabi ko 'di kita iiwan, n-na hindi kita susukuan pero ako rin itong mahina..."
"Shh, you weren't weak, hmm?" he hummed and opened his eyes to looked at mine. "Listen to me, babe." He cupped my cheek and looked at me in the eyes.
"You are the strongest woman I'd ever met," he said in such gentleness, "remember my winning answer in Hari ng Dinibdibang Lupa ng San Isidro?"
I nodded and smiled despite my tears.
"Letting go is a brave thing to do. You should know it's okay to take a step back to things that hurts you. Mostly, when what you're chasing is no longer worth it." He dried my tears. "I will give you the space you needed, hmm?"
"W-without you?" my voice broke.
"Without me," he nodded. "For quite some time."
"You're..." humugot ako ng hininga. "You're leaving me?"
"No, no..." he smiled sadly and placed his forehead against mine again. "It wasn't on my vocabulary, babe. Find peace within you and when you're finally okay again, dito lang ako sa 'yo palagi, aantayin ka."
I closed my eyes tightly and sat on the bed, kaagad naman siyang yumakap sa tiyan ko kaya hinaplos ko ang kanyang buhok.
"I heard you had an offer abroad," bulong niya kaya nagitla na ako. Mabilis kong inangat ang mukha niya at tinitigan ang hilam na hilam sa luha niyang mga mata.
"Gelo, paano mo..." my voice quivered.
"I heard from the nurses," he said and smiled at me, "you should take it."
I sighed loudly, bumaba ang haplos ko sa buhok niya papuntang batok.
"It's just three months," mahinang sabi ko. "San Isidro wanted me to lead the pedia department team since I had an experience before."
"You should," sagot niyang may ngiti at muling inabot ang pisngi. "You did great, you deserved it."
"P'wede?" maliit na boses kong tanong, "can I go there? Really?"
"Gusto mo ba?" malambing na tanong niya kaya tumango-tango ako.
"Gusto ko, gustong-gusto..." I answered in all honestly.
"Then go for it, I just have one condition." Aniya kaya tumango ako at nakinig. "You should take care of yourself. Promise me you'll rest well, you won't starve yourself and won't eat too much sweets."
Napanganga ako, "that—"
"Yes or no going out of the country?" aniyang seryoso kaya bumuntonghininga na ako at kinagat ang labi, tumango sa kanya.
"Okay," I smiled at him.
"Good girl," despite his eyes mirrored with tears, he smiled gently. Yumakap siyang muli sa tiyan ko ng ilang segundo bago tumayo at umupo sa tabi ko.
"Take care of yourself, don't mind me here. I'll be a good boy." Bulong niya at isiniksik ang ulo sa leeg ko. "Please, enjoy yourself, hmm? A good, new surrounding will be good for you."
Unti-unti, sumara ang mga mata ko. Isinandal ko ang ulo sa kanya bago suminghap at nagsalita.
"Let's both be better and learn from our mistakes, Angelo." Bulong ko. "So the next time we'll start again, we know what went wrong so it won't happen again."
"Got it, babe." He answered me, "I'll wait for you."
"I'll just rest and come back to you," bulong ko. "I hope you'll be a good boy, kasi kapag hindi? Puputulin ko 'yang footlong mo."
We ended up laughing, isang halik sa pisngi ang ibinigay niya bago ipakita ang kamay niya.
"I'll wait for you, Philie, ang Reyna ng Dinibdibang Lupa ng San Isidro. That, I vow to you." he showed me his pinky, making me smile.
"I'll come back to you too, Mr. Yelo." I chuckled and intertwined my pinky with his, "that, I vow to you."
I said yes to my three-month task as a head facilitator for a medical convention abroad. It was such a déjà vu, noon ay dito ko nakilala ang asawa at ngayon, nandito ako na mag-isa pero masaya.
It was such a new experience, after he took me to the airport, he went back to Manila and worked again in their hospital while I cut our connection off. Tanging ang mga magulang ko lang ang kausap at kagaya ng pangako kay Gelo ay inalagaan ko ang sarili.
It was hard but I managed to limit my chocolate obsession to the max but Kiwi is another thing. From time to time, I am requesting for it. Maganda rin ang service ng hotel na tinutuluyan ko dahil sa kahit rare ang mag-request ng gano'ng prutas ay sagana ako.
Minsan nga'y bago pa ako magsabi ay mayroon na sa kwarto ko.
It was a great experience over all, meeting new people. Speaking in front and sharing my knowledge when it comes to taking care of kids and their nutrition.
I get to see new places, enjoy the sceneries but over all, what I loved more in that three-month escape is my peace of mind, realizations, and reflection.
I felt like a new woman when I got back to the Philippines.
Bolder, sexier and prettier! Everyone, ang Reyna ng Dinibdibang Lupa ng San Isidro ay nagbabalik na!
"Hoy, Philie! 'Yong tiyan mo parang pakwan na makakendeng ka diyang bruha ko!" Phoebe hissed.
Nawala ang awra ko, nakangusong binaba ko ang shades at tinanggal ang kamay sa baywang.
"Excuse me? Kakauwi ko lang tapos aawayin mo 'ko ng ganito?" reklamo ko.
"Sus, si buntis!" Cairis laughed, hinila pa ang bagahe po at kumapit sa braso ko. "Nakakaloka ka kasi, 'di ka nagsasabi! Aalis ka rito tapos pagbalik mo 'yang tiyan po p'wede nag awing pang-bowling!"
During those months, I opened my old social media accounts and reconnected with them. I apologized for suddenly leaving and they both cried when they saw me in the video chat, nagtatampo pa no'ng una pero dahil maganda ako ay pinatawad din naman nila 'ko at naintindihan.
"Ay, weh?" bumaba ang tingin ko sa tiyan at napatango nang matantong bilog na bilog na nga. "Pero okay lang, maganda naman ako, 'di ba?"
Napahawak ako roon, bakat na bakat sa suot kong maluwang na dress.
"Oo na, oo na." Phoebe grinned, "ikaw ha, gumaganda ka nang gumaganda! Anong sekreto mo?"
"Hmm, wala naman..." I shrugged. "In born na kasi 'to, Phoebe." I explained.
The two decided to fetched when I told them I'm going home. Kagagagaling ko lang sa San Isidro kina Nanay. I stayed there for barely a week and resigned to the hospital to go back here.
Tuwang-tuwa ang dalawa, ilang araw pa lang bago ang uwi ko ay nag-schedule na sila ng off para masundo ako sa airport.
We spent our day eating around, dahil nga dayo ako kunwari ay libreng-libre ang reyna niyo at sinagad ko ang gastos para sa foods.
"Grabe ka, Philie! Ubos mo 'yan?" Cai gasped upon looking at the plates I finished kaya maliit akong ngumisi at mahinhing tumango.
"Hindi lang ako 'yan, ano ba kayo." I laughed a little, "isipin niyo na lang, dalawa kami ng pamangkin niyo ang kumakain. Early gift niyo na 'yan para sa binyag niya."
Stress ang dalawa sa dami ng tinuturo ko pero wala namang nagawa kaya halos hapon na kaming tatlo nakarating sa ospital.
Cairis left for her boyfriend's book signing while Phoebe went back to work after they finished fixing me.
"Galingan mo sa pag-arte, sis!" ani Cairis na inaayos ang suot kong cap.
"Papapasukin pa kaya ako?" I asked them nervously and wore my mask. "Hindi ba punuan ngayon?"
"Anong punuan?" tawa ni Phoebe, "hindi 'yan! Napa-sched ka namin ngayon, ikaw ang last sa listahan! Galingan mo, ah? Naku, kapag nabuking ka kaagad sayang ang rehearsal namin kanina!"
I nodded and smiled, waving. Hawak-hawak ko pa ang tiyan ko habang naglalakad sa OB department at tinatanguan ang mga bumabating nurse.
I'm in my complete disguise today, my hair is tied with a cap on. Shades and mask at kahit magkanda-duling-duling na sa shades ay todo bigay ang lakad ko, kulang na lang ay mag-bounce sa excitement.
"Good morning, Ma'am? May appointment po ba?" his familiar secretary greeted when he saw me kaya tumango ako.
She handed me the answer sheet where I would fill may personal info, kita ko ang weird niyang tingin sa akin pero mas tinago ko lang ang mukha.
"Ma'am, 'di po ba kayo naiinitan? Gabi na po pero..." she pointed my shades kaya umiling ako.
"Ah, pang dark mode 'to kaya kita." Sagot ko sa pinaliit na boses at nagtataka man ay ilalalayan niya akong paupo.
I sat beside a not-so-pregnant looking woman in a dress waiting.
"Hi, Miss! Papa-check up ka rin?" masayang bati niya at medyo nagulat pa ako nang matantong familiar ang mukha niya.
"Oh!" I gasped, "you are familiar to me, Miss. Perhaps, maybe, we've met before?"
"Oh, baka?" she giggled, "madalas kasi 'ko magpa-check up dito kapag feeling ko buntis ako, kaya feeling ko nakita mo na 'ko."
"Talaga?" I laughed, realizing she's also the lady I saw before when I pranked Gelo.
"Oo!" she said, "pogi kasi 'yong doktor! Alam mo bang gwapo mga anak ko kasi sa kanya ata pinaglihi!"
Mas napatawa ako roon at tumingin sa tiyan niya, "pero 'di ba, masungit? Buti 'di ka naiirita?"
"Wala 'yang irita kung sa mukha panalo ka!" she exclaimed kaya nag-apir kaming dalawa. "Atsaka pangatlong anak ko na 'to, 'di pa sure gender pero baka lalaki! Imagine mo, gwapo rin? Kaya ikaw, Miss. Ilang buwan na? Laki, ah?"
"Oh, almost eight." I touched my stomach and smiled. "Pinaglilihan ko rin 'yong doktor."
"Tama 'yan, sis!" she offered her hand at me and danced it in the air, "hayaan mo na 'yong medyo masungit at tahimik! Isipin mo ang future ng feslak ng anak mo. Learn from the expert!" she even winked playfully.
She only left when she was called, alas-sais na at malapit na ang uwi ni Gelo kaya feel na feel ko ang pag-upo. His secretary, Belle, even offered me a drink—or maybe she's trying to see my face kaya tagong-tago ako.
"Ma'am, parang familiar ka." She even talked to me kaya umiling-iling ako.
"Hindi," maliit na boses kong sagot, "first time ko rito."
"Hmm," she nodded. "Pero kasi—" she only stopped when the girl from earlier went out with a grin.
"Girl! Babae ang anak ko!" she said happily kaya tumayo ako, we tried hugging pero sa laki ng tiyan ko ay hindi magkasundo kaya nagtawanan na kami.
"Wow, congrats!" I greeted happily.
"Thank you!" she giggled, "baka naman kilala niyo ang asawa ni Dok?" aniya kaya natigilan kami.
"Bakit?"
"Wala, curious lang ako." She chuckled, "kasi sabi ko sa kanya pinaglihi 'yong mga lalaki kong anak tapos ngayong babae nagtanong ako sino p'wedeng paglihian tapos sagot niya 'yong asawa niya raw."
My heart pounded, "really?"
"Oo! Maganda! Pinakita niya picture sa desk niya! Gusto ko tuloy makita ng personal at mapaglihian!" tawa pa niya.
"Oo, maganda talaga." I commented despite the fleeting moment I'm filling, nagpipigil ng ngiti.
Si Angelo telege! Pereng tenge...
Nang umalis ang babae at pinapasok ako ng secretary ay naghahalo ang excitement sa puso ko. I stepped into his familiar clinic, clenching my fist.
Kaagad ko siyang nakitang abala sa sinusulat sa desk at bahagyang inuunat ang likod, kunot na kunot ang noo at seryoso.
He looked tired but professional at the same time. 'Yong tipong sarsa sa ulam, masarap papakin.
He's sporting into a clean cut hairstyle and wearing his reading glasses. Kahit may suot na putting doctor's coat ay kitang-kita ang hubog ng kanyang katawan at braso roon.
I walked closer to him and he must've sensed it, ang mata niya'y nasa tiyan ko napatingin bago unti-unting nag-angat sa mukha ko.
His cold, non-emotional eyes stared at mine. Laking pasalamat ko na naka-shades at mask ako dahil baka nag-panic na ako sa titig niyang iyon.
His brow shot up, his reddish lips made a brief pout as he looked at his papers back to me.
"You are?" he asked and I cleared my throat before answering using my small voice.
"Hi, Doc Pogi. Assunta D. Makaire po, papa-check up sana kami ng baby ko." Madrama kong sabi sabay haplos sa bilugang tiyan.
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