Chapter 49
Grey's POV
"Oh, kamusta? Ngayon nalang ulit tayo nagkita, ah?" Bati ko kay Cairo nang magkasalubong kami sa may NICU.
Agad siyang natigilan at namilog ang mga mata bago gumuhit ang ngiti sa labi, "Busy, eh. Kailangang kumayod." ani niya na parehas namin ikinahagikhik.
"Baka naman hindi ka na nagpapahinga?" Pinanliitan ko ito ng mata.
Humagikhik siya, "Grabe naman sa hindi nagpapahinga. Nagpapahinga ako." Tinapik ako nito sa balikat, "Sige na, may gagawin pa ako, kitakits nalang around." Paalam nito bago naglakad paalis.
Agad nagparte ang labi ko, "Busy ka mamaya?" tawag ko rito. Ilang metro na ang layo niya sa akin at muli ako nitong nilingon.
"Gabi?" tanong niya at agad akong tumango.
Kumiling ang ulo nito, "Uwi ako ng 9 PM, pero pwede ka naman bumisita." sagot niya at agad akong tumango.
"Sige, pupunta ako." Nakangiti kong turan. Ngumiti siya, tumango, bago naglakad na ulit paalis.
Nang sumapit ang lunch ay nag-message sa akin si Code kung gusto ko raw bang pumunta ng Trinoma para samahan silang mag-ama manood ng dance recital ng anak.
Agad gumuhit ang ngisi sa labi ko at kahit nasa kalagitnaan ng hallway ay nag-reply ako sa kaniya.
To: Nicodemus Ace
Of course! I would love to watch that! Expect me there!
From: Nicodemus Ace
Awesome! Chiara would be so happy!
From: Nicodemus Ace
Nag-lunch ka na? Baka nagpapakagutom ka nanaman.
Napatawa ako nang mabasa ang kasunod niyang message. Akala ko ay ang pagpunta lang sa Trinoma ang pakay niya. Talagang may pahabol pa.
To: Nicodemus Ace
Papunta na ng canteen, kakain na.
Nicodemus Ace Costa sent a photo.
From: Nicodemus Ace
I'm eating na, send me a picture of your food later.
I reacted with a like on his message. When I arrived at the canteen, it was only Bianca who I saw on one of the table who's busy eating her lunch. I bought food for myself first before sharing a table with her.
"Nasaan si Louis?" tanong ko rito,
Uminom muna ito ng tubig bago ako sinagot, "May surgery ngayon. Mauna na raw tayong kumain." tumango ako bago binuksan ang camera ng cellphone ko.
Nagulat ako nang mukha ko ang unang bumungad dahil naka self-portrait mode pala iyon. Pa-simple akong kumuha ng selfie ko bago kasunod na kinuhaan ng picture ang pagkain.
Una kong sinend kay Code ang picture ko.
From: Nicodemus Ace
Ganda. Pero ang sabi ko ay yung pagkain ang picture-an mo.
To: Nicodemus Ace
Ah, pagkain ko pala. Akala ko pagkain mo.
Nicodemus Ace Costa reacted to your message.
From: Nicodemus Ace
HAHAHAHAAH
From: Nicodemus Ace
Kulit, lapain kita diyan, eh.
To: Nicodemus Ace
I would really appreciate it if you did. Puro salita, wala namang gawa.
"Nilalangaw na yung pagkain mo." Agad akong napa-angat ng tingin kay Bianca nang magsalita ito.
Nagparte ang labi ko bago pinatay na ang cellphone ko at inilapag ito sa lamesa para kumain.
Halos hindi ako tantanan ni Code buong hapon. Sa tuwing magiging-busy ako sa trabaho, pagtingin ko sa cellphone ko ay may bago siyang message.
Hanggang sa umuwi ako ng alas sais ay gusto pa ako nitong puntahan kung hindi lang siya busy at may meeting.
"That's better, diyan ka nalang, magtrabaho ka. Baka kung ano pa ang gawin mo kapag pumunta ka rito." ani ko habang nagluluto ng hapunan. Nang lingunin ko ang cellphone ay nakita kong nakanguso si Code sa screen.
[Miss na kita—]
"Libog lang 'yan." ani ko bago nilagyan ng asin ang adobo.
Napahalakhak ito ng tawa sa kabilang linya, [Hindi 'no! Miss na talaga kita.] ani nito, muli ko siyang nilingon at nakitang mas humaba ang nguso na ikinasinghal ko.
"Magkikita naman tayo bukas, ah? Saktong-sakto ang recital ni Chiara, day-off ko pa." ani ko at nag-hum si Code.
[11 AM, ha? Don't be late. Sa first floor.] Bilin niya at tumango ako.
"Anong kulay ang isusuot mo? Para magkakulay tayo." tanong ko at bigla itong bumangon mula sa pagkakasubsob niya sa lamesa niya.
[Uhm... hindi ko pa alam.] sagot niya at napabuntong-hininga ako bago nagpameywang at tinitigan ang mukha niya sa screen.
"Mag-isip ka, para makapaghanap na ako ng damit." Pagsusungit ko rito at napabungisngis siya bago tumango.
[Color black, let's just wear black dahil black rin ang suot ni Chiara sa sayaw.] sagot niya at nag-hum ako bago nagbalik ng tingin sa niluluto ko.
"Okay, black it is then," I replied, and he hummed.
I heard a few noises and people talking from his background. He even responded to some of them before picking up the phone.
[I'll get going, Grey. Magsisimula na yung meeting ko.] ani niya at nag-hum ako.
"Okay, take care." Bilin ko at ngumiti siya bago nagpa-cute sa camera at pinatay na ito.
Kumain muna ako ng hapunan at nagpalipas ng oras sa sala. Nang malapit nang mag 9 PM ay bumaba na ako at nagmaneho papunta kila Cairo. Tumigil ako sa nadaan kong 7/11 para bumili ng ilang can ng beer.
Pagdating ko sa bahay nila ay wala pa si Cairo. Si Athena ang nagpapasok sa akin, inalok niya pa ako ng hapunan pero tumanggi ako lalo pa at busog pa naman ako. Nakipaglaro muna ako sa anak nito habang hinihintay ang tito niya.
Nang dumating si Cairo ay agad tumalon ang pamangkin nito pababa mula sa pagkakakalong sa akin. Sinalubong nito ang tito niya na pumasok ng bahay na kung anu-ano ang dala.
Agad akong tumayo at kinuha kay Cairo ang mga envelope na dala niya.
"May case kayo?" tanong ko sa kaniya at agad siyang tumango habang tinatanggal ang sapatos niya.
Sinundan ko pa ito sa kwarto niya para dalhin ang makakapal na envelope na dala ko.
"Bad timing ba ako? Ang dami mo palang gagawin." tanong ko sa kaniya pagkalapag ng mga envelope sa lamesa niya.
Naupo ito sa kama bago ngumiti at umiling, "Okay lang, gusto ko nga munang mag-relax." Mahinhin niyang sagot. Sa galaw palang ng labi niya at paglunok niya ay alam kong may problema na.
Naglakad ako papalapit sa kaniya at tinabihan ito, "Anong problema?" tanong ko at suminghal siya bago tumawa nang pagak.
"Pera, ano pa ba?" ani niya na nasundan ng pilit na tawa.
Hinawakan ko ito sa balikat at hinimas-himas iyon, "You know you can always ask me for financial help." I said, and he turned his head to face me.
He shook his head, "You're my friend, Grey. Not my walking ATM machine," he replied, which made me chuckle.
He rested his head on my shoulder, and I leaned my head on top of his head. We stayed in that position for a few minutes, my hand rubbing his back non-stop.
"Cairo— AY!!" Agad isinara ni Athena ang pinto nang pumasok siya.
"Mag-lock naman kayo!" sigaw nito mula sa labas. Parehas kaming napahagalpak ng tawa ni Cairo bago tumayo mula sa kama.
Paglabas namin ng kwarto ay namumulang nakatayo doon si Athena.
"Hindi kami talo ni Grey, ha." ani ni Cairo sa kapatid na ikinabungisngis ko. Sinimangutan kami ni Athena bago naglakad na pababa ng hagdan.
Isinabay na ni Cairo ang pagkain at nag pag-inom namin. Nag-stay kami sa maliit na terrace nila sa taas at doon nagkwentuhan.
"So... overall, masaya na kayo ni Code?" tanong niya at agad akong tumango bago sumimsim ng beer.
"Yep, pupunta nga kami ng Trinoma bukas dahil may dance recital yung anak niya. You know, you should meet that little girl sometime, sobrang bait na bata." ani ko at utay-utay tumango si Cairo.
"Gustohin ko man, alam mo namang... close na close si Code at Lukas, diba? Parang tayo. Kung may malalaman ka tungkol kay Lukas, baka sabihin mo pa sa'kin." ani niya at napatawa ako nang pagak.
"Pero hindi ako nagbabanggit? Wala akong sinasabi sayo tungkol kay Lukas dahil alam kong hindi mo magugustuhan yun." ani ko at napabuntong hininga siya.
"Hayst, bahala na. Wala rin naman akong oras para sa relasyon na 'yan. Ang dami-dami kong problema, hindi ko na dadagan pa." sagot niya bago muling sumimsim ng beer.
Hindi ako gaanong nagtagal doon dahil may shift pa si Cairo bukas. Hindi rin naman ako nalasing o tinamaan manlang ng beer kaya nakapagmaneho pa ako pauwi.
Bandang alas otso na ako nagising kinabuksan. Nagdala muna ako ng mga damit ko sa laundry shop bago nag grocery nang kauntian at umuwi na.
Nag light breakfast lang din ako sa isang cafe bago umuwi na at naglinis ng unit. Bago mag alas diyes ay naligo na ako at naghanda para sa pag-alis.
Quarter to 11 na nang dumating ako ng Trinoma. Agad akong nag-message kay Code nang makapasok ako ng mall para malaman kung nasaan sila. Pagdating ko sa Activity Center ay nakita ko na ang mga bata at magulang nila. Dahil puro naka-itim ang mga bata ay hindi ko makilala si Chiara kaya si Code ang hinanap ko.
Dahil matangkad ay agad ko siyang nakita. Nakipagsiksikan ako sa ibang magulang hanggang sa nakarating na ako sa likuran ni Code.
"Hey," tawag ko rito, agad akong nilingon ni Code. Gumuhit ang malaking ngiti sa labi niya bago kinulbit ang anak at itinuro ako.
"Doc Grey!!" Agad akong niyapos ni Chiara sa binti. Bahagya akong lumuhod para buhatin ito.
"I'm so scared po! I'm nervous!!" She buried her face on my shoulder. I chuckled and gently caressed her hair.
"It's normal to feel nervous when you're gonna perform in front of a crowd. But always remember to do your best, okay? Me and your Daddy will be in the crowd." I said softly as I continued caressing her hair.
She lifted her head from my shoulder, a pout printed on her lips. "What if magkamali po ako?" she worriedly asked.
I smiled and fixed her hair, "Then the show must go on. Brush it off, then continue. It's fine, Chiara, it's normal to make mistakes." I replied, and she slowly nodded.
A few minutes later, someone called all the kids. I put Chiara down on the floor, and Code brought me to one of the chairs in front. When the song started, Code immediately pulled out his phone to record the performance.
The moment Chiara went on the stage, I immediately cheered and clapped my hands while her father focused the video on his little girl.
"Go Chiara!!" I cheered as other parents started cheering louder for their kids.
A wide smile appeared on Chaira's lips the moment her eyes landed on us. I clapped my hands harder and cheered louder.
When Chiara went front and positioned in the center, Code and I almost stood up from our chairs and started screaming like high-schoolers.
The moment the dance ended, Code and I stood up from our chairs and ran towards the side of the stage to see Chiara.
Code lifted his daughter while we jumped like idiots at the side, catching some attention from other parents and people around.
They had a little award ceremony on the stage. I almost ran out of storage in my phone as I took several pictures of Chiara while she was on the stage. I also took a picture of Chiara and Code with the little bouquet Code got for his daughter.
"Sumama ka!" Tawag sa akin ni Code. Nagparte ang labi ko at agad naglibot ng tingin para maghanap ng mapapakisuyuan.
Ang isang binatilyo ay nag-offer sa akin na kuhaan kami ng picture kaya ibinigay ko sa kaniya ang cellphone ko. Imbes na dumaan pa ng hagdan ay tumalon nalang ako paakyat ng stage at sinamahan ang mag-ama sa picture.
Agad kaming dumiretso ng Jollibee para mag-celebrate. Ang mga batang kasama ni Chiara magperform kanina ay andito rin kasama ang mga magulang nila.
Pagkatapos kumain ay naglibot-libot kami ng mall. Pumunta kami ng toy store pero walang masyadong binili ang bata. Kasunod ay ang bookstore na kung anu-ano ang pinamili ni Chiara. Bumili rin ako ng isang libro na naka-akit ng atensyon ko.
Dinala kami ni Code sa isang home depot dahil may mga kailangan siyang bilhin para sa bahay nila. Habang naglilibot-libot ang mag-ama ay humiwalay muna ako sa kanila nang sandali para maghanap ng bagong basahan para sa condo ko.
Nang makakita ako ng basahin na gusto at babagay sa unit ko ay naglakad ako papalapit sa gawi nila Code. Paglabas ko ng aisle kung nasaan ay bigla akong natigilan.
Nagtagpo ang mga mata namin ni Mommy na kunot-noong nakatingin sa akin sa hindi kalayuan.
Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. Pakiramdam ko'y sumara bigla ang lalamunan ako at hindi ako makahinga nang maayos.
"Doc Grey!!" Lalo akong nataranta nang yakapin ako ni Chiara sa binti. Nakita kong bumaba ang tingin ni Mommy sa bata, lalong kumunot ang noo niya bago nagbalik ng tingin sa akin.
"You good? Magbabayad na kami." Biglang sumlpot si Code sa harap ko.
"U-Uh... yes, yes, okay na, I got my rugs," I replied before looking back at Mom, who's glaring at me.
Pakiramdam ko'y bumagsak ang sikmura ko. Akala ko'y iyon na yun. Pero mali ako, may mas natatakatakot pa pala maliban sa makita ni Mommy na kasama ko si Code.
Nang magtagpo ang mga mata namin ni Daddy ay kumunot ang noo niya. Halatang hindi niya inaasahan na makikita ako sa isang home depot.
"Let's go?" Code held my hand, intertwining our fingers together.
My breath hitched as my feet started walking towards the counter. I turned my head and looked back at my parents, who were both looking at me intensely.
Shit.
Shit!! Dad saw!? Dad saw us?! Daw saw me holding hands with another guy!? How am I gonna explain myself? What am I gonna tell him?!
I'm fucked. I'm doomed. He's gonna kill me!
I couldn't act properly for days. Mom kept on messaging and calling me, but I ignored her. I'm not ready. I'm not ready for another fight and arguments. I'm not ready for lectures about life. I don't want to hear another lecture from my Mom to stay away from Code because of his family background, which I don't even know what she means.
And heck, I'm not ready to come out. I'm not ready to tell Dad who I really am.
Code even noticed the sudden change in my mood and actions. He noticed how I was being distant from him when we were out in public. And unlike last time, where we had a fight about it, he talked to me calmly about it.
I told him the reason. I told him what I saw last Saturday we went to the mall. I told him my Mom has always hated the idea of us seeing each other. How she always told me to stay away from him.
"Okay naman yung pamilya ko, ah? At... kami nalang ni Dad, wala na si Mommy, wala na rin si Nonna. Kami nalang ni Dad, tapos si Chiara." Naguguluhan niyang turan.
Napabuntong-hininga ako bago sumandal sa bangko ng kotse. Andito kami ngayon sa sasakyan niya, nasa may sea wall ng MOA at nakapark sa may dilim.
I slowly shook my head, "I don't know either. She won't tell me anything about it. All she said was to stay away from you and don't ever get linked with you." I shrugged.
I faced Code, who was resting his back and head on the chair, eyes glued on me.
"Magkakilala ba mga magulang natin?" tanong niya at agad akong nagkibit-balikat.
"Hindi ko alam. Nagkaroon ba ng... business ang mga magulang natin dati? Did our companies ever have... a project together or a misunderstanding?" I asked, and Code slowly shook his head.
"I've reviewed some of the company's previous contracts but not once I saw Chua Incorportion. At kung sinasabi mo na simula college, ayaw na sa akin ni tita, ibig sabihin, ilang taon na ang nakakalipas kung nagkaroon nga ng hidwaan ang mga magulang natin." sagot ni Code at utay-utay akong tumango.
Ipinatong ko ang kamay ko sa noo bago napabuntong-hininga.
"At nakita pa tayo ni Dad. Hindi ko alam kung nakita ka niya pero... nakita niya tayong magkahawak ang kamay— ughh!! Now he knows I'm messing around with a guy!!" I let out a grunt before rubbing my whole face with my palm.
"Hey, hey..." Code snatched my hand.
"If... if you're planning to tell your parents about... about anything, coming out, telling them about us, sasamahan kita. I'll come with you," he said while gently rubbing my hand.
I let out a heavy sigh before looking down at our hands. "I'm... I'm planning to visit the house on my next day off. I'll... tell Dad about... about me and I'll talk to Mom about us." I replied, and he nodded.
I looked him in the eyes before flashing a faint smile, "But you don't have to come with me. Let me handle it." I added, and he nodded.
"Are you sure?" he asked, and I nodded,
He licked his lower lip before kissing my hand. "Basta, if you need anything, last-minute back-up or moral support, I'm here. Okay? Give me a call," he said.
A smile grew on my lips before I nodded. Withdrawing my hand from him before pulling him for a gentle, yet quick kiss.
I pressed our foreheads together, "I'm really thankful you're here with me." I said, he smiled before stealing another kiss. "And I'll always be here," he said.
I spent the next days building up courage. I planned and practiced everything I would say to my parents, but I know I'll end up forgetting them once I'm standing in front of those two.
I couldn't think of the right way to say it, but I know to the bottom of my heart and mind what exactly I want to say. I just can't bring myself to form a sentence.
I spent nights trying to write a script or even have an idea of what I'll say to my parents. But the day of Saturday came when I'll be going to our house to talk to them, and I'm still clueless on how I will tell them the truth.
I spent the morning and afternoon of my Saturday cleaning my unit together with Code. He volunteered to help me since he also had nothing to do today, and Chiara is busy swimming with Hades's and Yago's twin.
None of us mentioned anything about my dinner tonight with my parents. I didn't tell him any details, and he didn't ask me about it. We just spent the day together, cleaning and having fun.
Hindi naman kami maghihiwalay, diba? Hindi na kami matatapos.
Bakit ako kinakabahan at pakiramdam ko'y huling araw na namin itong magkasama? Parang ganito ang mga napapanood ko sa movies na mga huling sandali na pala nila iyon kaya naman sobra-sobra ang saya nila.
Hinintay ako ni Code na makaligo at makapagbihis. Pinanood niya akong mag-ayos ng sarili sa harap ng vanity at panakaw-nakaw pa ng halik kaya mas lalo akong natagalan.
Sabay kaming umalis ng unit. Madilim na ang paligid at nararamdaman ko na ang kaba ko.
Namawis ang kamay ko nang makapasok ako sa loob ng gate namin. Hindi halos ako mapakali sa oras na bumaba ako ng sasakyan at sinabihan ng kasambahay na hinihintay na ako ni Mom sa loob.
Natigilan agad ako sa pinto ng bahay nang mabungaran agad si Mommy na nasa sofa at masama ang tingin sa akin.
Shit, ito na.
"Mom—"
"Anong sabi ko tungkol sa Costa na yun?" Putol niya agad sa akin.
Napabuntong-hininga ako bago napatungo, "Mom, I know you said to stop seeing him, but—"
"Hindi ka nakikinig, Grey! Akala mo ba nakikipagbiruan ako sa'yo?! Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa'yo na hindi maganda ang background ng lalaking yun?!" sigaw sa akin ni Mommy.
Napapikit ako nang mairin bago nag-angat ng ulo. Nakita kong namumula na si Mommy sa galit. Malalim na ang bawat paghinga niya at nakakuyom na ang magkabilang kamay.
"Mom, ano bang background ang sinasabi mo!? I talked about this with Code, and he, too, doesn't know what background you're talking about!" I raised my voice, my jaw clenched as my throat felt like it was closing.
Mom scoffed, "Dahil wala siyang alam! Wala kayong alam sa nangyari dati!" sigaw niya. Napikit ako nang mariin bago napamasahe sa noo.
Dahan-dahan akong humakbang papalapit kay Mommy, "Mom... masaya kami ni Code. Can't you just be... happy about it? Can't you just be happy about me? Mom, mahal namin ang isa't-isa. Please, just... let me have this, in peace." I begged.
If she won't tell me why how much she hates Code, maybe she can at least let me love him freely.
Tears started forming in my eyes, "Mom... I'm gay. We can't do anything about it if my heart beats for Code. And I tried looking for other men— God knows I slept around just to find someone else, but..." I slowly shook my head, "Si Code talaga, Mom. Si Code ang mahal ko." A tear streamed down my cheek.
Mom looked away, swallowed a lump in her throat, and let out a scoff.
"Marami pang lalaki sa paligid, Grey. Hindi lang ang Costa na 'yan ang magmamahal sa'yo. Hindi ka mahal niyan, iba ang pakay niyan sayo—"
"Mom, no! Mahal niya ako at mahal ko siya! Nagmamahalan kaming dalawa!! Don't project your loveless marriage on us—"
My face faced the other side as Mom's palm landed on my cheek. The slap was so hard that I felt a stinging pain on my cheek, almost knocking a tooth inside my mouth.
"Sa dinami-dami ng lalaki, Grey? Sa kaniya pa talaga? Ano bang nakita mo sa Costa na 'yan, ha? Anong sinabi niya sa'yo?! Grey, kapag nalaman 'to ng Daddy mo, he will go nuts! Magagalit siya sa'yo! Your Dad won't like this?!" She exclaimed, her feet stomping on the tiled floor.
I shut my eyes, tears rushed down my cheeks, and I suddenly felt like I hit a dead end.
I don't know how to explain it anymore. I don't know how I'll fight for it. She just... won't listen to me.
"Ano bang kaguluhan 'yan?" Agad akong napamulat sa at nilingon ang gawi ng hagdan kung saan naglalakad si Dad.
Nagparte ang labi ko, nang lingunin ko si Mommy ay masama ang tingin nito sa akin.
"Grey, napabisita ka?" Bati niya bago tuluyang naglakad palapit sa akin.
Napalunok ako ng laway bago tumungo, "I... I have to tell you something, Dad." I started. When I lifted my head, I saw the usual relaxed expression printed on my Dad's face.
"Iyan ba ang pinag-aawayan niyo ng Mommy mo?" tanong niya at muling nagparte ang labi ko. Nilingon ko si Mommy at nakitang umiling ito.
Napalunok ako ng laway at muling hinarap si Dad, "It's about what you saw... last week, sa mall." I said with a shaky voice.
Dad raised a brow and slightly faced his head to the side while his eyes were still glued on me. "About... the little girl and the man with you? Pasyente mo ba siya?" tanong niya at agad akong umiling.
"No, Dad, they're..." I swallowed another lump in my throat. I glanced at Mom, who was standing beside us, eyes piercing me.
I faced Dad and stood straight. "They're my family. The man you saw... he's... he's my partner. And the little girl is his daughter." I confessed.
I swallowed another lump in my throat before taking a deep breath, "I'm gay, Dad. I'm gay and I love him." I came out.
I saw the slight shock on my father's face. He cocked a brow, glanced at Mom before looking back at me.
He chuckled before pointing his thumb at me. "Yun ang pinag-aawayan niyo? Yun ang pinagsisigawan niyo?" Hindi niya makapaniwalang tanong. Naitikom ko ang bibig ko bago mabilis na nilingon si Mom.
"So," Dad crossed his arms. "When will I get to meet the guy?" he asked, and my eyes grew wide.
"Uhm—"
"I don't think that's necessary, Richard. We don't have to meet the guy." Mom cut me off.
Dad glanced at her, brows furrowed, "Grace, that's Grey's partner. Of course, we have to meet him." Dad replied, and my lips parted.
Mom shook her head, "Richard hindi na, 'wag na—"
"Grace, are you seriously being homophobic right now? In this century?" Dad cut her off.
Mom's eyes grew wide, her lips parted before looking away. "Bahala kayong mag-ama." Singhal nito bago naglakad paalis.
I lowered my head, and I played with my fingers before nibbling on my lower lip.
"Hayaan mo na ang Mom mo." ani ni Dad. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya, na-alala ko bigla ang naging away namin noong isang taon na ikinahiya ko bigla.
"Dad," I called. I look like a kid who just got scolded right now.
Dad raised a brow, "Hmm?"
"I'm sorry," I breathed out, and he tilted his head.
"About what?" he asked, confused.
I nibbled on my lower lip, "For... for shouting at you the other time. For... for saying those things. I'm... I was just caught up in my emotions. And... I was really scared you'd set me up in a marriage for the company." I couldn't look straight into his eyes. I was so sorry and guilty that I could feel my body shaking.
Dad chuckled and adjusted his glasses. "Is that why you didn't want to get set up in a marriage? Because you already have your... what? Boyfriend?" he asked, and my lips parted.
I straightened my back, "We... actually haven't talked about it. But... we're... good. Maayos ang... pagsasama namin." sagot ko at utay-utay siyang tumango.
"No... official relationship?" he asked, and I slowly nodded.
"Oh, mahirap 'yan, Grey. Mahirap kung wala kayong... committed relationship. Kahit sabihin mo na mahal niyo nag isa't-isa. Mahirap na hindi mo alam kung ano ba talaga kayo." Malumanay niyang paliwanag.
Ni minsan ay hindi ko inisip na pag-uusapan namin ito ni Dad. Kahit ang magkaroon ng pag-uusap na ganito ka-kalmado ay hindi ko inakalang dadating ang araw na ito.
My lips quivered, "W-We'll talk about it. Sa mga susunod na araw." sagot ko at utay-utay siyang tumango.
"How about the little girl? Anak niya sa ibang babae? Paano yun? Nasaan yung nanay ng bata?" Tanong pa niya at doon ay natigilan ako.
"Uhm..." I cleared my throat, "He didn't... mentioned anything to me. Wala siyang binabanggit tungkol sa nanay ni... ng anak niya." sagot ko at doon ay nakita kong bumagsak ang balikat ni Dad.
"Grey, that's... that's an issue. Nakikita mo na bilang anak mo yung bata pero hindi mo alam kung nasaan ang totoong nanay niya. Paano kung... kung bumalik siya at bawiin ang pamilya niya? Paano ka? Mahirap 'yan, anak."
Natigilan ako. Natigilan ako hindi dahil sa sinabi niya kundi dahil sa pagtawag niya sa akin.
Anak? Ang sarap pakinggan. Ni minsan ay hindi ko iyon narinig sa kaniya dati. Ni minsan ay hindi niya ako tinawag na anak o ipinaramdam na anak niya ako. Pero ngayon? Ang sarap sa pakiramdam.
Hindi ako nagpahalatang naiiyak na at muling tumikhim. "Pag-uusapan din namin 'yan sa susunod, Dad." sagot ko at utay-utay siyang tumango.
I bit my lower lip before letting out a sigh. "I should get going, Dad. Mukhang... sinira ko ang gabi ni Mom. Sa... susunod nalang ako tatagal dito kapag... okay na si Mom." Paalam ko at bahagyang ngumiti si Dad.
"Give your Mom some time. I'm sure she's just... shocked about the news. You're his... baby boy, I guess. Nagulat lang siya na lalaki rin ang gusto mo." sagot niya at utay-utay akong tumango habang may maliit na ngiti sa labi.
I was about to bid another goodbye when he spoke. "And Grey," he called.
I raised both my brows and pursed my lips together, "About... about what you heard before? Na... na hindi kita mahal bilang anak ko?" he started.
My heart dropped. I felt like a steam escaped my back, and sweat started building up on my forehead.
I was about to say something. I was about to stop him from saying anything further, but he had already spoken.
"I'm proud to be your father, and I'm thankful I have a son like you. I'm sorry for... for being absent from your whole life. I was just... not ready to be a father at that time. Pinilit lang ako ng Yéye mo." he spoke.
That's when I felt tears forming in my eyes. My throat once again felt like closing. I knew I'd start crying any moment, but this time, not from anger or sadness but... I feel happy.
He smiled, "I'm sorry for... for not being a good father to you. I'm sorry if you feel like I didn't love you or... or I was disappointed to have you as my son. But Grey, I am happy to be your father. I'm sorry if it took me three decades to say this, but I love you, son," he softly said. With his deep voice, I could sense the warmth in every word he said.
I could feel shivers down my spine, and soon tears streamed down my cheeks.
I smiled, "Thanks, Dad. I'm... I'm happy you're proud of me. And I'm sorry if I won't take after the company." I apologized.
He smiled and took a step towards me. He patted my shoulders. "I am not like my father. And you don't have to be like me. May sarili kang buhay, Grey. Gawin mo kung anong gusto mong gawin. I will be here to support you."
I was crying when I left the house. I was crying, and yet a smile was printed on my lips. I rolled down my windows and felt the cold breeze of February brush against my face.
Finally, I could live in peace. I could finally escape the prison of my own thoughts and nightmares. I could finally move on and step forward without the baggage from the past.
It feels so much lighter now. I feel so... alive and contented.
I stopped at a nearby gas station to fill my tank. As I was waiting for my change, Xaitlin messaged me. She's inviting me to a bar in Rockwell for her charity event.
From: xXaitlinx_v
It's for kids! I mean not the party, ha! But the money we'll be gathering is set to be donated to an orphanage.
From: xXaitlinx_V
I just thought maybe you'll enjoy it here since you're a pedia and have a soft spot for kids hehehe.
A chuckle escaped my lips. Since the bar is just a few kilometers away from my place, I decided to pay a visit.
Xaitlin was shocked to see me. She even introduced me to her friends who are around the same age as her. I could sense they were either tense or trying to hit on me, just based on how they looked at me.
I asked her where I could donate, since that was my only reason to be here. And since I don't have much cash with me, I decided to do a bank transfer. After settling the transfer, she offered me a few glasses of drinks. She even invited me to dance, which I immediately declined.
I'm already on my fourth glass of French 75 when my phone rings. Since the place is so loud. I stepped out of the bar before answering Code's call.
"Hey, what's up—"
[Can you please come here immediately? Chiara's having a fever, and I'm really worried right now. I was hoping... maybe you could check on her here at home?]
—------
a/n: heyyy, finally, okay na sila omg!!! Feel ko crush ko si Grey at tatay niya, eh awan ba ksksksksk, but btw, I apologize for the late updates recently, nagfa-flactuate talaga health ko. Due to this, I might not write the book 3 agad-agad and enjoy the rest of my school vacation before I start college huhuhu
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