Mr. Eggs and Bacon
"One only needs eggs and bacon"
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Oulu, Finland. GMT +3.
Another gloomy day?!?
What is wrong with this city? I yawned and felt extra sleepy while looking out the window. Could the sky be any greyer this early in October? I got bored looking at this weather already. Plus the forest here is terrifying, dark, and deep like ghosts may find this place somewhere they could call home. And it's 8 a.m anyway. Who could be awake? And not taken into the fact that I didn't have any breakfast yet, leave alone eggs and bacon. Man, I missed my grandma's eggs and bacon.
My mouth started to water.
"Lev, could you go on the board and solved this problem?"
Oh.
Crap.
Well.
Right, I was in class after all.
I looked at Mr. Transberg and earned a deadly glare from him. That was absolutely nice, I couldn't feel more honored.
Calculus was boring. I went to class, solved exercises, and came back home. It's so repetitive that I sometimes questioned whether it's the end of the world already, or the infinity of time. Mr. Transberg was a strict lecturer, however, his exercises were meant for kindergarteners or something. Being an exchange student, it was very unfortunate that I chose this university, Oulu University, Lapland Finland. But I didn't have many choices, did I?
Oh, right. We were solving the homework. I stood up and went to the board. Christjan and Vsevolod weren't present, and that was factual, easily explained, like explaining why Mother Nature created germs and bacteria in the first days of Earth.
It was exercise 6, about solving derivatives for limits. I never had any problems with this homework task, so I took my notebook and went to the board.
"You intend to write off your written solutions on the board, don't you?"
I looked at Mr. Transberg and nodded.
"Yes, I think so. I mean... the solution is kinda long" I almost shrugged, because I felt bored, a bit, but it's not a nice thing to do in front of a professor.
He started to write something on the other side of the board. By the time he finished it, I realized this task wasn't in the book.
"Johanna! Go on the board and solve this one!" his voice echoed in the large study hall.
Mr. Transberg then turned to me with an evil smile.
"You go solve the one I just wrote over there"
This was actually getting fun. By the look of the professor, I smelled a sense of challenge. And the problems looked quite amusing. Challenge accepted.
..
..
..
For the love of angels, the class ended at 12. Finally, I had some time to breathe some smoky misty air. I had to admit, although Oulu is as depressing as a city can get, the air quality here is top-notch. I took my bag and got out of the class. I guess my next place where I should head to right now is eggs and bacon.
"Hey, Lev!!!"
Oh, someone called me. As I turned, I realized that that was the girl who solved the task next to me on the board. What was her name again?
"Hey! Oh! Hi! Lev!"
"Yo, I mean, hey" That was... weird.
"Do you have a moment?"
I actually didn't remember her name.
This girl asked me about the problem I solved on the board. It was quite fun because it took me some time to solve it, I practically needed a chair and Mr. Transberg gave me his, while he sat down in the first row of the study hall. So, I was okay explaining it to her, she looked diligent.
The exercise was to find lims of a trigonometric function. It wasn't straightforward. It involved absolute values, fractions, square roots, and other different stuff. But it's kinda easy when you figured out the first step.
I showed her the way and explained in detail what I did and why I did it that way. However, after 20 minutes, she didn't seem to get it...
I mean... This is getting difficult... I wanted eggs and bacon for energy.
"Hmm, do you want to grab a cup of coffee?"
We continued in the university cafeteria on the first floor, only then did I see Vsevolod and Christjan having their tasty breakfasts. Their bright white hair always drew attention from absolutely anyone in the hall.
"Sevan*, Cris*, Привет*"
*Sevan: short name for Vsevolod
*Cris: short name for Christjan
*Привет: Privet (Hello, in Russian)
"Привет yo" Vsevolod raised his head and looked at me. Hesus, that black shades under his eyes scared tf out of me. I didn't know whether I should say this, but Vsevolod looked like L, in Death Note, which was and wasn't a compliment at the same time, though given his smart*ss.
"Привет, Lev. You look horrible, man. Hahahaha" said Cris, the boy who literally had similar shades under his eyes. This guy didn't look a smidge like L, rather like a ghost...
"Hey there!" Cris said to the girl next to me, and he winked. Like a ghost can wink. Mysterious!
"Hi, morning!" she also raised her coffee and said hi. Her eyes were sparkling and they were green. That's strange.
The greeting section should end here, I thought to myself.
"What's with your eyes guys? Don't tell me you guys pull an all-nighter and worked on that website again? What are you? Pandas?"
"We... ah, we got tangled, ah.. well, it was a long... night, yeah, right, we found something, yer know? A lot of things, and stuff like that.., yer know?" Cris said something like monkey's language. His face blushed as he stumbled on his words.
Me "..."
Sevan "..."
The girl next to me "Eh, Lev? I think I should leave for now! I've got another class! I'll try solving it again at home!"
The girl said and looked at me. She didn't really wait for my reaction, she just... grabbed her bag, waved her coffee at me.
"See you later in class then, Lev! Bye guys!"
Off she went.
I shrugged and sat down on the chair next to Vsevolod.
"Why you guys still go to university? We don't have classes anymore today?"
"Sevan felt guilty not going to class"
"Cris always gets horny at home"
They both replied to me, accused each other, and things just got spicier.
"Sevan!!! What you mean! You also do!!! Why's it all on me now? I'mma take your grilled pork!!!" Cris pouted and quickly took a bite of the grilled pork on Vsevolod's plate.
Vsevolod is gay, and so is Christjan. They're practically a couple but they never admitted it. Who dyed their hair the same color, wore the same shirt color, went to the same university for exchange, went to gay bars together, and masterb*te for each other. I just didn't understand why they denied that they were dating. I didn't do a threesome obviously.
"By the way! Is she your new girlfriend?" Cris asked me, patted my shoulder with a burst of sly laughter.
"Wait-"
I and Cris looked at Vsevolod, who was trying to chew a boiled egg and saying something.
"I thought, you're gay-, no?" Vsevolod looked shocked, I thought he choked on his boiled eggs. Who would be stupid enough to get choked on eggs? That needed some scientific proof, right?
They literally thought the world revolves around gay bars and stuff like that. I was left speechlessly amazed at the fact that there's no end to surprises, neither is imagination and stupidity.
"I acknowledged your compliment on my sexual appeal" I looked at Vsevolod straight in the eyes.
"Yo, you wanna do a threesome, hmm I never did it before but, I think we can pull it of-"
I knew where this conversation was going. So I cut Cris's sentence and stood up.
"I'mma get something to eat too, starved the whole morning already!"
I said and took my wallet, walked to the ordering table.
I met Vsevolod and Christjan at a bar back in Oslo in my first year, for the introduction ceremony party. I found out that they are from Russia, coming to Oslo to study Computer Science. My parents are Russian, but I grew up speaking Norwegian more fluently than Russian. And all of my friends were native Norwegians, so I didn't really care much.
However, at the end of the party, the two got so drunk that all they spoke was Russian swearing words. I didn't really get it, but everyone was putting their trust in me, in taking the drunk couple home. Of course, they didn't tell me their addresses, so I ended up taking them to my home, where my grandma absolutely wanted to adopt Vsevolod and Christjan.
All I did was going to a party. And I got closer to the gay couple, which earned me extra attention from my classmates, questioning my masculinity. That wasn't an upbeat story.
The menu today was as boring as it can get. Of course, my favorites weren't served. What kind of cafeteria served eggs and bacon anyway? I got myself potato wedges, meatballs, and a bit of salad with sour cream on top. Finnish people don't usually eat things with sour cream, but luckily they do serve it. I guess it's because of the Borscht soup they offered today.
"So, something's happened with your dark web?" I asked as I put my plate on the table.
"Not eggs and bacon today?" Vsevolod asked me.
I mean... do I even have to answer such a question? I would find myself stupid then...
"Yer know what?" Cris bit the chicken and looked at me. I looked at Vsevolod for hints, but Vsevolod actually grinned and his eyes sparkled. Who could make them this turned on?
"You guys found a new gay bar in town?"
I took my first bite of the meatball. Eh, can I change my mind to chicken instead? The meatball was too salty. Is salt that cheap? Well, yeah, right, salt is just so cheap. I wondered if people can make a living out of salt if salt costs literally nothing.
"Guess what! It's about Jay!" Vsevolod couldn't keep his laughter to himself and laughed his *ss off. Now, this was stranger.
"Jay? What about him?" the meatball was too salty but I didn't want to leave any leftovers.
"JAY ASKED US WHAT BEING GAY FELT LIKE!" Cris now broke into laughter.
Vsevolod added "This funny joke just comes and makes me laugh periodically! Hahahaha! WTF!"
I got choked on the salty meatball.
"Excuse me?"
"EXCUSE ME?!? WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK!"
Cris took back his cool pretty quickly and cleared his throat.
"That was lame af of us, Sevan! Stop already! Hahahahaha!"
"You telling he's asking you???"
It's Jay we're talking about. Jay, the smart good quiet kid, never went out drinking and lived like a monk with his vegetarian diet one every two months. And now he's about to commit sin and eat "meats"? And he asked people about it? Ever since I talked to him more and got closer to him, the dude never even asked me for a favor.
God have mercy on us...
I always thought Jay was a nice guy. He's reliable and smart, played good basketball, and his talent was well-known in the whole university. I mean, he got a full scholarship and a bunch of professors asking him to be their assistants. I was his roommate for the past year! I wasn't surprised at the fact he's gay but..., at the fact that he reached out to ask Cris and Sevan.
We didn't usually hang out a lot, the 4 of us but we had some parties in my room together or played games sometimes. Oh, we did play basketball together too. The guy's really good at cooking and basketball. Though I called him a kid, he's actually 3 years older than us...
"He asked us about our families' reactions to us being gay" Vsevolod stopped laughing, and his eyes wandered.
"Haha, that's the harsh part! But I was literally bursting into tears that he asked. It's like seeing my kid getting mature and stuff! But I mean, he's not even my kid! He's always had that problem. Remember when we first met him?" Cris said.
That time, it was f*cked up. I, Vsevolod, and Christjan were just playing basketball on the university campus, and we heard the voice shouting for help from the isolated storage room. It was lucky that we were just in time before it happened. I was shocked because I barely knew the guy who was my roommate. Since then, we decided to protect him. He had the kind of simplicity around him and calmness as well, so it's easy to mix him in anything, as long as he's surrounded by good people. I mean, he's Asian. And so, I kind of understood why he chose to be a doctor.
"I'm glad but at the same time worried" I stated what I thought.
"You like Jay?" Cris smirked and took another bite of the chicken wing.
"For God's sake, guys! I am straight like a tree!"
"Eh, but trees have branches too, right?" Cris actually put some thought into this.
We all laughed, and I could tell that the atmosphere loosened a bit.
The silence got between us again as we stopped laughing.
"Me too. That was just deliberately raping if we didn't find him..." Vsevolod said angrily
We knew it all alone. That weak people got beaten down. But a guy like him, it's not fair anymore. I didn't understand. There was one time Jay told us a part of his past, how he got harassed and still had to accept it. His family was just f*cked up. Though one time, he did tell me that there was one person that kept him alive.
An angel.
I remembered he mumbled, as if to himself.
Well, I studied Computer Science, so I didn't thoroughly understand what's in the mind of a medical student who studied 24/7 like him.
"Eh, I told him to call us if anything happens, he could fly here as well if he wants. We're going back in 2 months anyway!" Vsevolod added, he actually sounded like our older brother.
"True that! But yeah, without him, we always couldn't get up for early classes! Hahaha!" Cris laughed
Eh... some dirty jokes again...
"I want to travel to Vietnam some days guys" Vsevolod said, this time, more enthusiastically.
"What for?" Cris asked.
"To beat the f*ck out of that motherf*cker!"
"Sevan! Why you always sound all cool and mature!" Cris pouted cheesily.
"Splendid"
And I wanted to maybe bring Jay back to his angel.
Though they can meet online, FaceTime, and stuff, but I never once saw Jay talking to anyone but his younger brother. He couldn't mean his younger brother, could he?
We continued to chat about different stuff and finished our breakfasts.
"Eh guys, wanna take a day off our project and go for eggs and bacon today?" I asked them.
"Of course"
"Fact"
Gaming isn't the only we had in common. We liked skiing. This was why I came to Oulu University, to be able to ski anytime and at a cheap price. In Norway, you have to pay insane tickets to get you up the hills, but here in Oulu, Lapland, it's just the best.
Like eggs and bacon, I love to ski.
Lev Antonov, 20, exchange student at Oulu University from home university Oslo University. Likes: grandma's eggs and bacon, skiing. Hates: injustice.
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Roads, destinations, things, and people, I haven't yet to know where I head, but as long as I have eggs and bacon, I'll embrace all the journeys life takes me on.
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