Brave Hearts (Published Under LIB)
Kabanata 29
Kabanata 29
BAKIT kaya ang mga taong walang hinangad na kahit ano man kung hindi ang magmahal ay siyang palaging nasasaktan?
Why was life so unfair? Bakit may mga taong hindi makuntento sa kung anong mayroon sila at mananakit ng iba kapalit ng kasiyahan nila?
Why do people cheat? Bakit sila mangangako ng panghabang buhay na pagmamahalan sa hirap at ginhawa kung sa umpisa at kalagitnaan pa lang ay kaagad nang susuko?
What was the essence of love kung kaunting bagay pa lang ay mabilis na silang matukso? Why get married if, in the end, they'll still choose to find another person to satisfy themselves?
Hindi ba nila naisip ang pamilyang kanilang nasasaktan? Hindi ba nila naisip ang mga taong nasasaktan nila kapag nanloko sila dahil sa pansariling dahilan? Dahil sa panandaliang kasiyahan?
I remembered my mother. I remembered how my lovely mother raised me well despite the challenges she'd been through.
Ang unang pagmamahal niya'y hindi siya ipinaglaban at iniwan. Sa pangalawang pagmamahal nama'y saglit na pinasaya pero sa huli'y iniwang mag-isa. Ang una'y muling bumalik pero sa huli'y muli siyang sinaktan at niloko.
Two different kinds of love yet they all fooled her.
My mother, my mother loved me so much. The strongest woman I always looked up to and the woman I admired so much was so hurt in the past yet...yet she managed to send me to a great school, she managed to work hard kahit may sakit din siya.
She only loved...why did my loving mother have to experience and be fooled like this? Did she deserve this? She was nothing but a great mother to me, she was nothing but a role model.
She taught me to always be strong and kind, she taught me to never give up despite what the harsh world would do to me. Sinabi niya sa akin noon na tanggapin ang mga pagkakamali at magising ng panibagong umagang gagawin ang lahat para hindi na ito magawang muli.
She taught me to be strong and all these years, I did my best to be so pero sa ngayon? Sobrang nasasaktan ako, nasasaktan hindi para sa sarili kong napagkaitan na magkaroon ng ama kung hindi sakit para sa nanay kong naging mabuti at huwaran sa akin, sa nanay kong ginawa ang lahat para maging maginhawa ako pero ang ganti sa kabutihan niyang ito ng ibang tao ay pasakit.
Nanay, I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry that you had to be treated this way. I am sorry that you had to be hurt and sacrificed like this when the only thing you wanted was to love and to be loved.
I woke up with the familiar and traumatizing smell of antiseptic. When I opened my eyes, the white walls came into view. I heard faint voices beside me so I shifted my gaze and saw my grandparents sitting on the sofa. I could hear my grandmother crying and I saw the doctor talking to Dr. Sean and Tita Marichu.
Gumalaw ako nang bahagya at kaagad nila akong napansin. Lumapit sa akin si Dr. Sean pero mabilis akong napatalon at napalayo.
"S-sorry, I..." I muttered.
His eyes turned into a lone expression. Marahan siyang umatras at si Tita Marichu na ang lumapit sa akin habang nagpupumilit akong maupo.
"Lia..." She hesitated at first. "I-is it okay if I help you..."
I nodded. Mabilis siyang kilos at tinulungan akong makaupo. She adjusted my pillow. Nabaling ang pansin ko si lola na papalapit at nang makita ang ekspresyon niya'y nanlumo na ako at napaluha.
She immediately hugged me, nanginginig ako habang yakap siya.
"A-alalang-alala ako, Amalia!" she scolded. I sniffed, hugging her more.
"S-sorry, La," I whispered.
The room was so quiet and the only thing you could hear were our cries.
"You should calm down, Ms. Argueles, Ma'am," the doctor suddenly said.
I heaved a deep sigh, trying to calm myself. Lolo took Lola from me and hugged her.
Pumikit ako, marahang hinahawakan ang dibdib para makontrol ang paghinga at kumalma.
"Water," ani ng doktor at naramdaman ko ang pag-aabot sa akin ng baso.
I opened my eyes, seeing Dr. Sean giving me a glass of water. I hesitated at first but slowly took and drank it.
"Slowly exhale a deep breath, Ms. Argueles," ani ng doktor. "Inhale, exhale..."
I did what he asked me to do. Medyo kumalma ako.
"Are you alright now, Ms. Argueles?"
"Yes."
"That's good." She smiled. "Is it okay if I talk to you regarding your condition?"
My heart pounded again when I heard that. Ito ang ikinatatakot ko, ang marinig mula sa isang doktor kung ano na ang lagay ko.
I nodded, glancing at the people around me. Natatakot ako sa kanilang reaksyon kaya tumikhim.
"S-sorry po," I muttered. "But...is it okay if I talk to the doctor alone?"
Nakita ko ang gulat sa mata ni lola. I knew she wanted to protest pero ngumiti ako at umiling sa kanya. Dr. Sean was hesitating too kaya kinagat ko ang labi ko.
"Pasensya na po," mahinang sabi ko.
"I-it's okay, sorry." Tumikhim si Dr. Sean, namumula ang mga mata. "Lalabas muna kami..."
I watched them leave. Nagkatinginan kami ng doktor.
"Hi, Lia." She smiled.
"H-hello po," I greeted and smiled back.
"Do you want to hear your condition now or relax first? Do you want another glass of water?" aniya at nagsalin sa baso.
"Sige po, maraming salamat." Tinanggap ko ang basong inaabot niya at sumimsim ng tubig. Inilapag ko iyon pagkatapos.
"Doc?" I called. "May nasabi po ba kayo sa kanila tungkol sa sitwasyon ko?"
"No, Ms. Argueles," aniya. "I know you can decide if you'd like them to know or not since you're an adult now. Dati kasi you were still a kid, a minor, so I had to tell them without asking you for permission."
I stared at her at bahagyang nanlaki ang mata ko nang maalalang siya rin ang doktor ko noon no'ng nandito pa ako nakatira.
"Doktora!" I blurted. "Naku, sorry po at hindi ko po kayo nakilala!"
"Ayos lang, hija. Alam mo na't nagkakaedad na rin." She chuckled. "Balita ko ay exam na lang ay doktor ka na rin?"
"Uh, opo." I smiled shyly. "Sana po ay palarin."
"Oo naman, alam kong kaya mo 'yan, bata ka pa lang, matapang ka na at matalino. I know you can do it."
"Maraming salamat po."
Saglit kaming nag-kumustahan at nang handa na ako at nakapag-relax ay doon na siya kumuha ng tiyempo.
"I don't know how to say this but I know you'll understand since you'll be a doctor soon," she started.
"Is my..." I sighed. "A-am I critical?"
I watched how her expression downturned. She sighed. "The last time I saw you here, your heart could still function well with the medicines I prescribed but kanina, when I checked your heartbeat, mas dumalas at irregulars ang murmurs," she said, referring to the irregular sounds my heart would make.
"How often do you experience chest pains, Lia?" she asked. I stared at my hands.
"These days po mas madalas na kumpara noon," I confessed. "Ngayon po kahit maglakad lang ako ng medyo mahaba ay nakakapos na ako ng hininga."
"How about your sleep?" she asked. "Kumusta naman?"
"That's the thing..." I whispered. "I've been waking up po in the middle of the night because of my chest pains."
"That's actually worse than I thought it is, Lia." She sighed. "Ang mga gamot mo ba ay naiinom mo?"
"Regularly po, I'm setting alarms," I told her. "Pero I don't think that can stop my chest pains na po ngayon, Doc."
"I am suspecting Severe CHD for you," she said. "But I still can't conclude, we have to undergo further tests to check."
"I-if...if it's Severe CHD, m-may treatment po ba?" I asked hesitantly.
"Yes, Lia, pero unlike nitong ginagawa natin, medicines won't be that effective anymore. It can help you manage your heartbeat pero hindi iyon magiging sapat. If it's severe, which I hope isn't, I can suggest you undergo surgeries."
"S-surgeries po?" I asked. "Paanong surgeries?"
"There are a lot of surgeries na pwedeng gawin. It may be open heart. Or heart transplant would be an option too, pero let's not stress over it. For now, you should be confined."
My eyes widened, napasulyap ako sa orasan at nagitla nang makitang alas sais na.
"I-is it..."
"Yes, hija. Buong gabi kang tulog."
I remembered Atlas and panicked. "P-pwede po ba akong umuwi?"
"Hmm?" Mukhang nagulat pa siya. "Naku, hija, hindi pa sa ngayon."
"B-bukas po kaya?" I asked.
"Your tests will be back later by nine or ten in the morning. Oo, pwede na bukas," aniya at doon na ako nakahinga nang maluwang. "For now, papadalhan kita ng agahan dito, papasukin ko ba sila rito?"
"Yes po." I smiled. "Sana po, Doc, kapag nagtanong sila ay..."
"Yes, Lia. You can count on me." She smiled, bid her farewell, and left.
Sa muling pagpasok nina lola, lolo, Dr. Sean at Tita Marichu ay nag-aalala silang lahat.
Si lola ay mabilis na lumapit sa akin kaya sinabi kong ayos lang ako. I knew Dr. Sean now had a hunch kaya nanatili siyang tahimik lang at nagmamasid.
Pinakiusapan ko sina lola na 'wag sasabihin kina Atlas at mga kaibigan na naospital ako. I asked them to keep it a secret first because I didn't want them worrying about me and thankfully, pumayag naman sila.
"L-Lia..." Hindi na ako nagulat nang marinig ko ang boses ni Dr. Sean, I glanced at him and saw his bloodshot eyes.
"I-I'm sorry but can we talk?"
Tita Marichu beside him was trying to stop him from bothering me pero ngumiti akong maliit at tumikhim.
"P-pasensya na po, Doc," I said softly. "P-pero...pwede pong sa susunod na?"
His eyes saddened more. May nahulog na luha sa kanyang mata na mabilis niya ring hinawi. My heart hurt while staring at him but smiled.
"M-makikipag-usap naman po ako sa inyo, siyempre," I muttered. "T-tatay ko po kayo, e. I just, n-nagulat po ako. Hindi ko pa po alam ang gagawin."
"I-I understand." Dr. Sean flashed a small smile. "I-I'm sorry again, Lia...if you're willing to listen, d-dito lang ako."
I nodded, naluluha na rin pero tinatagan ang loob bago muling humiga sa kama.
Hindi na ako nagulat nang sumapit ang alas otso ng umaga ay tumawag sa akin si Atlas para magtanong kung nasaan kami.
"Hello, Lia?"
"Hi, bibi." I smiled upon hearing his voice. "Good morning."
"Good morning." He sighed. "Where are you? I'm in front of your house, kanina pa ako kumakatok pero walang sumasagot. I called and texted you last night too but you weren't answering. I thought you were just sleeping."
"I-I'm sleeping," I said. "Medyo ano...maagang nakatulog kasi inantok."
"That's good, bibi." He chuckled. "But where are you? I've been waiting here for half an hour, are you still sleeping or—"
"Ah, Atlas?" I called.
"Yes, bi?"
"Um, kasi ano...wala ako d'yan ngayon, kami nina lolo at lola."
"Huh?" he asked, confused. "I didn't know you were going out today. Hindi mo sinabi sa akin."
"I'm just..." Tumikhim ako. "Emergency lang, biglaan din. Kaninang madaling araw pumunta kaming Tuguegarao nina lola kasi may kukunin sa munisipyo."
"Ah, gano'n ba?" He sighed, relaxed. "Kailan balik n'yo? Miss pa naman kita, bibi ko."
Napahawak ako sa dibdib at minasahe ang parte kung nasaan ang puso.
"Sorry, Atlas," I murmured. "Nawala sa isip kong sabihin. Baka bukas nand'yan na ako, don't worry, dito muna kami matutulog sa bahay sa Tuguegarao."
"Alright." He agreed. "Sayang, papasyal sana kita sa may rancho. Mom said she'd like to see you."
My heart jumped, napangiti ako at humigpit ang hawak sa telepono.
"Gano'n ba? Sige, bukas pupunta tayo sa inyo, okay lang ba 'yon?"
"Alright, Lia. Basta ay mag-iingat kayo, text me where you are or what you're doing para 'di ako mag-aalala."
"Okay." I chuckled when I heard his sad voice. "'Wag na sad, bibi. Anong gusto mong pasalubong?" I asked.
"Kiss with tongue lang, bibi, five minutes. May tawad na 'yan," he requested kaya lumakas ang tawa ko.
"O-okay, sure...kiss with tongue," bulong ko sa telepono at napangiti na nang narinig ko ang malakas niyang yes sa kabilang linya.
Para naman akong pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa nang malaman ko ang kondisyon ko. Like what the doctor said, it was indeed Severe CHD.
"A-ano pong magagawa natin dito?" I asked her while we were alone inside the room.
"The option we have is the same as what I told you, Lia. Surgery. It may be a multiple open heart surgery and when the worst comes, we can consider heart transplant," aniya.
I trembled. I fisted my palm.
"If...if hindi po ako magpapa-surgery? Ano pong mangyayari?"
"This may lead to further complications, Lia. It may be stroke or a heart attack. Are you often stressed, Lia? Or anything using your extreme emotions?"
"A bit po," I said. "These days I'm stressed, but if not, I'm happy."
"Happiness is an extreme emotion too," she told me. "The feeling of overexcitement can trigger your condition too. I suggest you talk about your trusted cardiologist or even me if dito ka sa Cagayan mag-i-stay."
"You think I can survive this, Doc?" I whispered, hindi na alam ang dapat maramdaman.
"Of course, Lia." She answered, firmly believing it. "You can survive this, how old are you na nga?"
"I'm almost thirty, Doc."
"Oh, do you have a boyfriend?" she asked and slowly, I nodded, remembering Atlas.
"Yes po," I answered. Her smile widened more.
"Then that will be a great motivation for you!" she said. "Your will to live for your loved ones. Your grandparents, your boyfriend. I'm sure your Nanay wanted and is rooting for you to get through this. You can survive this."
Bigla sumagi sa isip ko. I read this when I was studying my notes way back in med school and now that I was preparing for boards, it got me thinking.
"Doc, may question po ako," I started.
"Yes, what is it?"
"Can...woman with CHD get pregnant? I mean...i-if ever I'll be a mother, will it be okay? My baby, c-can my baby inherit my condition too?" I asked. "N-nabasa ko po kasi na...medyo risky, is it true?"
"To answer you frankly, yes, Lia." What she said wrecked me. "Most of the time, it is risky lalo na sa mothers with heart failures and conditions. Your mother has CHD too, right? You inherited it from her so I can say na there is a possibility your baby could get it too. It depends on the severity, hija. If you get better then, you can talk to your OB and Cardiologist for a care plan but if not...I hope that won't be the case, may mga mothers with CHD na hindi pinapayagang magbuntis."
Natahimik ako at bumagsak ang balikat.
"But don't lose hope, Lia," she cheered me up. "If you get treated right away and umayos ka, you can get pregnant and may mga mothers na may CHD pero ang baby nila ay wala, so don't lose hope. Just pray and pray."
I didn't tell my grandparents my case, afraid they'd get stressed like me. They were old and I couldn't risk their health. Natatakot akong sa stress ay mawala rin sila sa akin kaya kahit mahirap ay kinimkim ko ang kalagayan ko.
Doctor Sean and Tita Marichu respected me when I asked them to give me time to think first, hanggang ngayon kasi ay 'di ko pa rin lubos maisip ang nalaman ko. Dr. Sean was my father. It was shocking but what weighs much was what he did to my mother.
Iyon ang 'di ko matanggap kaya marahil ay 'di ko pa kayang makipag-usap.
Nalibang lang ako nang muling makita si Atlas na umagang-umaga ay ang gwapo-gwapo na.
"Bibi!" he cheered happily when he saw me. He even hopped and embraced me.
I hugged him tightly. Paulit-ulit na humalik siya sa buhok ko bago lumayo at ngumiti. "Pasalubong ko?" nguso niya at inilapit ang mukha sa akin pero hinawi ko lang 'yon at napailing.
"Mamaya na, Doc. Sina lola," bulong ko. Ngumuso siya.
Nagpaalam kami sa lolo at lola na pupunta kina Atlas. He said his brothers were there kaya na-excite ako na medyo kinakabahan dahil makakausap ko si Tita Beatrice.
While on the way to their place at nage-enjoy ako sa pagtingin sa daan, na-miss ang magandang lugar ng Peñablanca habang hawak niya ang isang kamay kong nasa kambyo nang bigla kaming pumarada sa gilid.
My forehead creased, nilingon ko siya at mas nagtaka nang ni-release niya ang seatbelt ko.
"Atlas?" I asked. "Why did you—"
"Sit here." My eyes widened when he tapped his lap.
"W-what?!" My cheeks flushed. "B-bakit...bakit ako uupo r'yan?"
"Gusto ko na ng pasalubong," he said and tapped his lap again. "Come, come, bibi ko. Kiss na kiss!"
I let out a shaky and excited breath, the thought of it made me giddy.
"D-dito talaga?" I looked around. "P-paano kapag may nakakita? Nakakahiya, Montezides!"
"Nah, hindi 'yan. Nasa may tago tayo, oh. Niliko ko saglit." He smirked. "Come on, bibi, come to me. Five minutes kiss lang."
I gulped harshly, bumaling ako sa suot kong asul na dress pabalik sa hita niya.
"P-paano naman ako uupo?" I asked shyly. Tumaas ang kilay niya, pilyo ang ngiti.
"Problema pa ba 'yan?" He licked his lip. "Straddle me, baby."
Tumalon ang puso ko sa saya at excitement na nararamdaman. I willed myself not to chicken out. This isn't my first time kissing him!
Tumikhim ako at bahagyang umangat sa upuan.
"F-five minutes, ah?" I reminded. He grinned. Marahang hinila niya ako sa hita niya't halos sumabog sa init ang mukha ko nang mapaupo ako sa kandungan niya, nakaharap sa kanya.
I moved to his knees. He pouted.
"Ang layo naman, bibi." He chuckled and pulled me closer so I was now completely straddling him.
"Atlas!" I gasped when I felt his protruding bulge on my behind, nag-init ang pisngi ko. Nagtaka siya nang makita akong parang tuod sa hita niya.
"Why, bibi?" he asked, slowly touching my cheek and my exposed shoulder.
"Uh..." Tumikhim ako. "A-ano..."
"Hmm?" he hummed.
"Ano, nararamdaman ko 'yong ano mo," I struggled to say.
"'Yong ano?"
"'Yong..." Lumunok ako. "'Yong Spider-man mo."
He was so stunned, umawang ang labi niya at nakagat ko naman ang labi para pigilan ang tawa nang mamula ang mukha niya. He made a face, sinundot ako sa tagiliran kaya napatawa at sinapak ko ang balikat niya.
"M-Montezides!" I hissed, laughing but he cut me off by claiming my lips, claiming his pasalubong.
Ang halik with dila niya, five minutes. Pero I didn't think that was five minutes, honestly.
Kalat na kalat ang lipstick ko, dumating pa sa panga at leeg ko kaya halos masabunutan ko na si Atlas na sobrang kakulitan. The side of his lips had a smudge of lipstick too kaya hindi na namin alam kung magpa-panic kami dahil matagal kami o matatawa na lang sa pinanggagawa.
"Magalit kaya si mommy kung pag-uwi ko naka-lipstick ako?" aniya habang pinagmamasdan akong nagli-lipstick.
Ayaw niyang tanggalin iyong nasa labi niya at feel na feel!
"Bagay pala sa 'kin, bibi, itong pink mo na lipstick," ngumuso pa siyang maarte at tinitigan ako sa mapungay niyang mga mata.
I glared at him. Humagalpak siya ng tawa. I shook my head and took my handkerchief to wipe the smudge of his mouth.
"Ewan ko sa 'yo, Atlas," I muttered but he just grinned, gave me a hard kiss on my cheek before maneuvering the car.
"Luh, akala mo siya 'di nag-enjoy sa pasalubong," he even teased.
Which is...true.
I think I was being corrupted and becoming a pervert habang nakikihalubilo ako kay Atlas. Parang lumalabas na ng paunti-unti ang naipong hidden na kalandian ko dati at minsan nagugulat pa rin talaga ako kapag bigla na lang akong naglalandi.
Kinakabahan ako pero mas lalo na noong makita ko na ang pamilyar na gate ng mga Montezides. The last time I saw this was a decade ago and it still looked the same, medyo nag-iba at mas naging bago lang ang pintura ng kanilang gate.
Nang bumusina si Atlas ay pinagbuksan kami ng guard. Pagpasok ng sasakyan sa loob ay mas umikot ang sikmura ko. Atlas might have seen how nervous I am dahil inabot niya ang kamay ko.
He was serious. Tumitig siya sa 'kin, binabasa ako bago abutin ang pisngi ko.
"Come on, bibi, breathe in...breathe out." I closed my eyes while feeling the warmth of his rough palm against my skin. I followed.
"Are you still nervous?" he asked. I opened my eyes, nodding. Kinalas niya ang seatbelt niya at lumapit sa akin habang sapo na ang pisngi ko. He slowly planted a kiss on my forehead, napapikit ako at dinama ang ginhawang hatid sa akin.
"I assure you it's gonna be alright, Lia," he whispered. "Everything's gonna be alright."
Hawak-hawak ni Atlas ang kamay ko habang papasok kami sa kanilang mansion. My heart was thumping so much. I practiced anong sasabihin ko kay Tita Beatrice pero hanggang ngayon ay kabado pa rin ako.
Nahihiya ako sa nangyari noon at malungkot na nasira ang kanilang pamilya dahil sa mga kasalanan noon.
I was startled when I saw kids running our way, nagulat pa ako nang nakipag-apir ang nakangising si Atlas sa mga bata.
"Say hi to Tita Lia, kids." They glanced at me.
"Hi po, Tita Lia!" It made me smile, I always loved children's bright smile and innocence.
"Hello, kids." I smiled softly and offered my hand for a high-five too.
"Oh, Atlas? Nandito na pala kayo." I shifted my gaze only to see Kuya Damon.
My mouth parted. Napabaling si Kuya sa 'kin at nanlaki rin ang mata.
"Oh, Lia?!" he called, obviously happy to see me.
"Magandang umaga po, Kuya Dame!" I greeted.
He looked so thrilled and amazed, mabilis siyang lumapit at natawa ako nang guluhin niya ang buhok ko.
"Nagkabalikan na pala kayo, Atlas?!" he exclaimed. "Naku, Lia! Ang laki mo na, dati maliit ka lang..." He even mentioned the height kaya ngumisi ako.
"Tss, akin 'to, Damon!" Atlas suddenly hissed. Naramdaman ko ang paggapang ng kanyang kamay sa baywang ko pahila palapit sa kanya.
"Nasaan ang Kuya?" he teased. "Ang damot! Nag-ha-hi lang!" tawa ni kuya at ngumisi sa akin.
"Pagpasensyahan mo na muna Kuya itong si Atlas at—"
"Hi, everybody!" Muling nanlaki ang mata ko nang makita si Kuya Hunter papasok, nakamaong pa at nakahubad.
"Putang...Hunter, porn star ka ba?!" Atlas hissed, natigilan si kuya at napabaling sa amin na namilog ang mata. I gasped, hindi na nakagalaw nang biglang may humarang na palad sa mata ko.
"W-wala kang nakikita, Lia! Wala!" Atlas exclaimed, covering my eyes.
"O-okay."
"Hunter! Magdamit ka nga!" reklamo ni Atlas. Narinig ko ang hagalpakan ni Kuya Dame at Kuya Hunter.
"Ano ba 'yan, magdamit ka nga at may bisita!" I heard a woman's voice say, at maya-maya pa'y nawala na ang palad ni Atlas sa mata ko at pagmulat ko ay may nakita akong isang babaeng hinampas ito ng shirt.
Kuya Hunter smirked and took it.
I heard Atlas sigh, halos yakapin na niya ang sikmura ko at humalik sa pisngi ko.
"Pasensya na at madudumi talaga ang mga pagkatao ng mga kapatid ko," he said and both Kuya Dame and Kuya Hunter made a face.
"Wow, nakakahiya naman sa 'yo?" ani Kuya Hunter. Natawa na lang ako sa lokohan nila.
Another woman entered the house, napalingon siya sa amin at kaagad na napangiti. Dumiretso si Kuya Dame sa bagong pasok na may buhat na ngayong isa sa mga bata kanina.
Napasulyap ako sa babae sa tabi kanina ni Kuya Hunter nang natantong pamilyar siya!
Mukhang naalala niya rin at napaayos siya ng tayo at kumaway.
Nakipagkilala sa akin ang dalawa. Atlas was so clingy beside me, halos siya na ang makipag-usap kahit ako ang kinakausap. Ang kulit.
"Masyado namang clingy, Atlas!" The familiar girl teased.
"Siyempre, dapat nakaikot lang ako sa bibi ko." He chuckled.
"Wow, tarsier 'yan?" ani no'ng magandang morena kay Atlas.
Atlas scoffed and laughed. "Okay lang, 'te, at least 'di siga."
We suddenly heard a dog's bark, natigilan si Atlas at sabay kaming napalingon sa may pintuan.
"Don't tell me..."
"Yes, I brought him." She smiled when I saw the dog approaching.
"What the...ilayo n'yo sa 'kin 'yan!" Atlas exclaimed, lahat kami ay napatawa nang lumapit ang aso at kaagad na pinunterya si Atlas at hinabol.
"Imagination mo lang 'to, bibi!" Atlas screamed while running kaya napangisi na lang ako.
"Kung kami raw madumi, lampa 'yan kapag dating sa 'yo," ani Kuya Hunter na ginulo na ang buhok ko. "Lia, laki mo na, ah?" He even chuckled.
Ako naman ang na-stress kay Atlas pagkabalik niya. Kuya Hunter took the dog and Atlas was sweating so hard, para siyang basang sisiw at halos gumapang na papunta sa akin.
"Anong nangyari sa 'yo, huh?" I asked and pulled him.
"Bibi, ma-mamamatay na ako." He huffed a deep breath.
"Ikaw, ang kulit mo." I chuckled. Binuksan ko ang bag para sa bimpo bago hinawakan ang kanyang braso at pinatalikod siya sa akin.
Dinig na dinig ko ang hingal niya. I noticed the stares from his brothers kaya nahihiya akong ngumiti.
"Alagang-alaga, ah?" ani Kuya Dame nang makita akong inaangat ang damit ni Atlas para lagyan siya ng bimpo sa likod.
"Siyempre!" Atlas chirped. "Alagang Amalia yata 'to,"
"Arte..." Natawa ang Kuya Dame.
"Sus, inggit lang kayo kasi 'yang mga 'yan..." baling niya sa dalawang babaeng nag-uusap sa may gilid. "Sa halip na maglambing Kung Fu lang bonding n'yo."
I chuckled when the girls heard it and frowned at Atlas.
"What?" Atlas asked innocently.
Kuya Hunter threw a new shirt at Atlas' face. Ngumiwi ang huli pero ngumisi rin at sinuot sa harapan ko ang bagong shirt.
I wiped his face and his neck, tumititig lang naman siya sa akin habang ginagawa iyon.
"Mom..."
I froze when I heard Kuya Dame speak. Mabilis akong napalingon at bumalik ang kaba nang makita kung sino ang pumasok.
In her elegant yellow dress and French twist, she looked so flawlessly beautiful. Her black eyes stared at us and my heart almost burst out of my chest when gazes clashed.
Napaayos ako ng tayo, naibaba ko ang bimpo na pinapampunas ko kay Atlas. Her sons and their wives greeted her too.
"Ma..." ani Atlas at hinawakan ang kamay ko at naglakad palapit sa mommy niya.
My heart felt like it wanted to escape out of my chest when Atlas kissed his mother's cheek but her eyes was still on me. Nawala lang ang tingin niya nang ngumiti sa kanya ang mommy niya at dinala ang kamay sa leeg ng anak.
"Anong ginawa mo at pawis ka?" she asked softly.
"Ah, hinabol ako no'ng aso nila. Alam mo naman na ako palagi ang target niyan, My." He frowned. His mother chuckled and found my gaze again. Her smile faltered a bit at kinabahan na ako roon lalo.
"Mom, this is Lia, my girlfriend," Atlas introduced me.
"G-good..." Tumikhim ako nang manginig ang boses ko sa kaba. "S-sorry, g-good morning po pala."
She just stared at me, hindi ko alam kung anong reaksyon niya dahil wala ako masyadong makitang emosyon sa mga mata niya.
"Good morning too, Ms. Argueles." Her lips rose a bit, hindi ko alam kung ngiti iyon o paranoid lang ako. "Let's proceed to the dining and eat some lunch," pormal niyang sabi bago tumango at nauna nang maglakad.
The boys followed her in the dining area. Natulala naman ako roon at mukhang mawawala na sa sarili kung hindi lang ako ninakawan ng halik ni Atlas.
"Come on, ngiti ka na." He smiled at me.
"Is she..." My lips quivered. "Is she mad?"
"Nah." He chuckled and squeezed my hand. "She's intimidating at times but she's not, wait until she loosens up. She looks strict, but not really. She likes you, Lia."
I sighed, lowering my head a bit. He caressed my cheek.
"Cheer up, bibi. I promise this day will be worth it," he said, assuring me.
During our lunch ay kinakabahan pa rin ako, ang mga asawa ng mga kuya ni Atlas ay komportable namang nakikipag-usap kay Tita Beatrice na nakangiti ring nakikipag-usap.
His sons were very attentive to their mother too. Para siyang reyna kung pagsilbihan no'ng tatlo which she deserved very much. She'd been through a lot but she raised her sons very well.
Every time our eyes would meet, I will smile. Nakita ko namang tumatango siya ng marahan pero walang sinasabi. She was observing me, lalo na nang makita ang anak na nilalagyan ng pagkain ang plato ko.
I told Atlas not to because I was shy, pero ayaw patalo at palaban si Atlas kaya 'di ko na napigilan.
The lunch was peaceful indeed. She talked to her sons regarding some business matter or work, kinakausap niya rin ang mga asawa nito tungkol sa mga bata at minsa'y nasasali ako na ikinatutuwa ko naman.
"Can I have some tea in the garden?" ani Tita Beatrice sa helper.
"Yes po, Ma'am. Ilan po?"
"Um..." She licked her lip a bit and stared at me. "Ms. Argueles?"
"P-po?" Halos mapatayo na ako sa upuan kung hindi lang ako hinawakan ni Atlas.
She smiled when she noticed me panicking. "Do you want to have a tea with me?" she asked softly. I quickly nodded, nagmukha na nga yata akong tanga pero wala na akong pakialam.
"S-sure po, salamat." I smiled nervously.
"What flavor do you prefer?"
"Kahit..." I gulped. "Kahit ano po."
She nodded, glancing at the house help. "Chamomile would be great, Nita. Thank you,"
She fixed her dress and took a small tissue to wipe something off her lips before standing.
"Mauuna ako sa inyo, I'll be in the garden," she announced and glanced at me. "Ms. Argueles, hija, finish your dessert first and follow me after."
"Opo...opo." I smiled and nodded.
When she left, napasandal ako sa upuan. Nakita ko ang ang ngiti ng mga tao sa harapan ko.
"Relax, she'll be good," ani Kuya Dame sa akin.
I felt Atlas' hug on my waist, ipinatong niya ang baba sa balikat ko at bumulong.
"Tell me if you're ready, hmm? I'll take you to her," he whispered and kissed my shoulder.
Halos limang minuto yata akong kumuha ng lakas ng loob bago nagdesisyong magpahatid kay Atlas sa garden. My heart was hammering inside my chest, hawak-hawak niya ang kamay ko habang papalapit sa mommy niya na naglalagay na ng tsaa sa loob ng tasa.
"Mom," he called.
Tita Beatrice glanced at us. I gulped and greeted her.
"Good noon po," I said.
She nodded, tapping the seat beside her. "Upo ka rito, Ms. Argueles."
I nodded. Inalalayan ako ni Atlas palapit, halos siya pa nga ay sumama sa pag-upo at 'di umaalis kung hindi lang natawa si Tita Beatrice sa anak.
"What are you doing, son?" ani Tita na natatawa.
"Uh..." Atlas scratched his nape a bit. "Sasamahan ko lang si Lia, Ma."
Tita Bea laughed and she sounded like an angel. Nailing siya.
"Hijo, I won't bite your girlfriend," she said, amused.
"Pero, Ma..." Atlas whined.
"It's okay." Pinisil ko na ang kamay ni Atlas at ngumiti. "Babalik na lang ako sa 'yo mamaya."
"But—"
"Come on, Atlas." Tita chuckled. "You're like your brothers, whipped. Just let Lia be, hindi naman ako nangangalmot, anak."
"Alright." Atlas sighed and let go of my hand. "Doon lang ako kina kuya, Mom, Lia."
We nodded at him.
"Love you, Ma." He kissed his mom's cheek and glanced at me. Nanlaki ang mata ko nang ilapit niya ang mukha sa akin, napaatras ako.
"B-bakit?" I stuttered.
"Ang damot naman, kiss lang." He pouted.
My eyes widened, umiling pa ako. "H-huwag ano...nakakahiya," I whispered to him.
"Sige, hindi ako aalis dito," he threatened me.
"Oh, come on, you kids." Napatingin kami kay tita na nakangiti. "Lia, just give him a kiss so we could get rid of him. My son's being an eyesore now."
Umawang ang labi ko.
"Mom! You're so mean!" Atlas whined. Tita raised her brow at him.
"Whatever, son." She chuckled. "Okay, should I close my eyes while you two kiss?"
"Po?" My eyes widened.
"Sige, Ma. Shy type kasi itong bibi ko," the brute answered.
To my shock, Tita really closed her eyes, a smile in her lips. Mabilis naman akong ninakawan ng halik ni Atlas at ngumuso.
"Love you, bi," he whispered and smirked. "Okay na, Ma. Tapos na ang lampungan," he announced.
I smacked his arm because of his words. Natawa lang si tita at itinaboy na nang tuluyan si Atlas na mukhang masayang paalis, nakapamulsa at patalon-talon pa pero muntik na nadulas kung hindi lang nakahawak sa may pader.
Nakita kong napalingon siya sa amin kaya nag-iwas kami ng tingin ni tita.
"He's...I don't know bakit ganyan ang anak kong 'yan," ani Tita kaya sabay kaming nagtawanan.
He smiled and showed me the teacup.
"You should drink, Ms. Argueles," she offered kaya dagling inabot ko iyon, sumimsim habang pinagmamasdan siya.
She looked regal and intimidating but when she smiles, lumalambing ang ekspresyon niya. She is really, really beautiful.
"Um, maraming salamat po sa imbitasyon, Tita—I mean, Ma'am," I muttered. She tilted her head, hiding her smile.
"Just call me Tita Bea, Lia," magaan niyang sabi. "Don't be too formal, it's okay."
Napalunok ako at tumango, nang ibaba ko ang tasa ay napahawak pa ako sa kamay at pinisil iyon.
"Are you nervous?" she asked and I wanted to deny it but I was too obvious so I nodded.
"Yes po, Tita. P-pasensya na po," maliit kong sabi.
"It's okay. You should calm down first," aniya.
Tumango ako, muling sumimsim bago humugot ng hininga para kalmahin ang sarili.
"Tita, gusto ko lang pong..." panimula ko. "Gusto ko lang po humingi ng kapatawaran at pasensya sa mga nangyari noon. It was never my intention, it was never our intention to ruin your family, Tita."
I closed my eyes and sighed before continuing. "Humihingi po ako ng tawad sa nangyari noon, on behalf of my mother, Olivia, Tita Beatrice. She acknowledges that she did wrong and she...we are very sorry po," I said with my utmost sincerity.
"Did you know she wrote a letter?" she asked. I shook my head.
"No po," I muttered. "Hindi ko rin po alam kung hindi lang sinabi sa akin ni Atlas. If I had known, sana po ay nagsulat din po ako ng mensahe para sa inyo. Pasensya na po kung ngayon lang ako nagkalakas ng loob para humingi ng tawad.
"It's been a long time, hija,"
"Yes, but I know some wounds just don't heal with time. Some stays inside, scarring our hearts. Some pain stay like ghosts, hunting us even in sleep," I muttered and stared at her. "Kaya naniniwala po akong kahit matagal na, may mga sugat pa pong bukas."
She was stunned but she quickly covered it up. Nahuli ko ang pagkintab ng kanyang mata sa paambang luha.
"Lia," she called.
"Kahit..." Lumunok ako. "K-kahit po ilang taon na ang nakalipas, I believe you and your family deserve a personal apology. I know no matter how much I apologize, hindi na po mababalik ang noon pero sana po, I hope na somehow...this apology of mine would lessen the weight inside your heart."
To my shock, she started sobbing. I panicked, napaayos ako ng upo at hindi na alam ang gagawin.
"T-tita," I muttered. "S-sorry po, did I say something wrong—"
"No." She smiled while tearing up. "I-I just didn't expect you'll say that." She sniffed. "C-come on, payakap nga ako, hija..."
I slowly moved and hugged her, nagulat ako nang mas napaiyak siya at dahil naririnig ko ang kanyang hikbi ay hindi na rin naiwasang maluha. I felt the warmth of a mother in her embrace. When I closed my eyes, I could feel my mother's warm hug for me from above and I started tearing up too.
"S-sorry po, Tita," I whispered. "Sorry po sa lahat-lahat."
"T-thank you, Amalia," she whispered and hugged me tighter. "T-thank you for apologizing, g-gumaan ang puso ko. I'm sorry for what happened to you too. I know life's been tough since you were alone for years."
I hugged her more and wept with her.
"I-I'm happy my son is in good hands with you, Lia," she whispered.
"S-salamat po...your son's a blessing for me too. H-he gives me strength, Tita. M-maraming salamat po."
"I-I admire your heart, Lia," she whispered and hugged me tighter. "Thank you for having the kindest heart and for apologizing even if you did nothing wrong."
"No po, I thank you so much for your forgiving heart," I whispered.
Wala na sigurong mas ikakasaya pa ang makatanggap ng pagpapatawad. It felt great knowing the people we hurt in the past had the kindest hearts and forgave us.
"Thank you, hija..." she whispered. "I am happy for y-you, and my son. I'm happy." Mas humigpit ang yakap niya.
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
"I hope you're happy, Nanay," I whispered while muttering a prayer one night after we came back to Manila. "I hope you're happy above, watching us."
I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
I just had to talk to my father and Tita Marichu and think of my situation.
I sighed and tapped my chest. "Kaya mo 'yan, Lia. Kaya mo 'yan. Let's be tough and brave, heart, okay?"
I heard my phone ring. Nang silipin ko ay nakita ko ang message ni Heart sa Messenger kaya nangunot ang noo ko.
Heart: Lia, 'wag mong pagbubuksan ng pinto si bobo. Gagapangin ka niya!!! Nagmamadali pagkauwi namin!
Amalia: Hahaha! Pahinga na kayo at late na natapos ang duty. Ikaw kumusta? Nasa room ka na?
Heart: Oo, siyempre. Papagapang din sa kay alien :D
Heart: Rawr!
Nang ilapag ko na ang phone sa gilid ng kama at matutulog na sana nan narinig ko ang tunog ng doorbell. My forehead creased and stood.
I walked towards the door and checked the peephole. Napabungisngis na ako nang makita si Atlas sa labas ng pintuan ko, nakapikit pa.
I opened the door, smiling.
"Oh, Atlas? Napadaan ka?" I asked but to my shock, his eyes remained closed. Napagilid ako nang bigla siyang pumasok ng walang pasabi.
"Atlas?" I asked, confused, pero tuloy-tuloy lang siya patungo sa kwarto ko, naka-shirt at pajama na kulay itim, magulo ang buhok.
Nagtataka man ay sinundan ko siya. Nahuli ko pa siyang pumapasok sa kumot ko para humiga kaya napangiti ako at lumapit. Nang makatabi ako ay nakita kong nakapikit siya pero medyo kunot ang noo.
"What happened?" I asked, slowly massaging his hair.
Hindi siya nagsalita at napatili ako nang mabilis niya akong mahila. Bumagsak ako sa braso niya at walang hirap niya akong natandayan at nayakap.
"Atlas, gising ka?" I asked when I felt his breath on my cheek, nakasiksik ang mukha niya sa gilid ko at parang suman akong binabalot sa braso niya. "Huy, Atlas, gising ka?"
"Tulog ako..." he answered.
I chuckled, nagpaubaya ako sa pangungulit niya.
"Hmm? E, bakit nandito ka kung tulog ka?" I asked.
"Sleepwalking," he whispered back kaya napahagikhik na ako.
Medyo pinakawalan niya ako nang maramdamang gusto kong tumagilid at hinarap siya. Nahuli ko siyang nakamulat pero mabilis na pumikit kaya nagpigil ako ng ngiti. Inilagay ko ang braso sa may leeg niya at pinatakan siya ng halik sa labi.
"Tulog ang bibi ko?" malambing kong tanong at tumango siya, ngumunguso.
"Opo..." he answered back.
"'Wag ka muna tulog, kwentuhan tayo," I whispered at hindi niya ako binigo. Slowly, he opened his eyes and when his black ones met mine, my heart pounded.
The moment he smiled, I felt like I was in a dream so I pinched his nose para 'di niya mahalatang kinikilig ako.
"Love you, Atlas. How's your day?" I smiled.
"Tiring, bibi. Maraming pasyente kanina," he whispered, marahang inaabot ang pisngi ko para haplusin. "You? How's the pharmacy? I love you too." Humalik siya sa pisngi ko nang marahan.
"Toxic din, matao." I smiled. "Kumain ka naman ba nang tama?"
"Opo, bi," he answered. "You? You're pale again."
"Ah, wala kasi akong ayos." I chuckled. "Alam mo namang palagi akong maputla kapag ganito."
"Are you always taking your meds?" he asked. I nodded, yumakap ako sa kanya at sumiksik sa kanyang dibdib.
"Yes, I'm also taking the vitamins you bought me. Thank you so much nga pala for fixing my alarms para sa new schedule ng gamot ko," I whispered. He chuckled, nodding.
"Anything for you, bibi," he said. "Anything para sa Amalia ko."
My heart felt warmer hearing those words from him. Mas humigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya.
"Atlas?" I called him softly.
"Hmm?" I felt him kiss my hair.
"What's your dream?" I asked him.
"Hmm, siyempre, to become a doctor," he answered. "Tapos ang makasama ang bibi ko. My longtime dream is to be with you until my last breath, Lia. I'm a doctor now and you're here now in my arms, and my remaining wish is to finally give you my name."
I didn't know why but when he said that, pain started replacing the blissful feeling inside my chest. Nasasaktan ako.
"Atlas..." I started. "Do you...do you want a family?"
"Sa 'yo? Siyempre naman." He chuckled and kissed my head. "Ikaw, do you want to marry me?"
I was stunned but I do.
Tumango-tango ako.
"Oo," I breathed. "Bakit magpo-propose ka na ba?" Biro ko.
His eyes brightened. "If I do, will it be okay?"
Hindi ako nakasagot kaagad pero sa mga pangarap ko, siyempre. Gusto ko.
I nodded. Binasa niya ang labi at attentive na lalo. "Why not? Pero you...you want a family?"
"We're not getting any younger, bibi. Of course, if I'd like to build a family, I want to build it with you."
"R-really?" I asked, nangingilid na ang luha.
"Of course, I can't wait to see little Lia running around our house," he whispered and hugged me more. "But of course, only if you want to. I'm fine with whatever you like."
"Of course...I want to," I whispered back, dreaming the impossible again.
Nakatulog na si Atlas habang nagsasabi ng kanyang pangarap pero ako'y tulala lang at isang oras na ang nakalipas ay hindi pa rin makatulog.
He was hugging me yet my eyes were fixed on the ceiling, remembering what he told me.
He...wanted a family. He wanted to have kids and I...I don't think I could give it to him.
Sabi ng doktor it would be risky, paano ang anak ko? Paano kung magkasakit siya kagaya ng sa akin? Paano kung hindi ako payagang magbuntis? Paano na si Atlas?
With those thoughts, tears escaped my eyes. Sa takot na marinig ako ni Atlas ay mabilis akong tumakbo sa banyo, isinara iyon at tahimik na umiyak habang nakaupo sa tiles, sapo ang mukha.
I was so scared for us, I was so scared for the family we'd build. Of course, I wanted so badly to have a family of our own. It's my dream!
Pero natatakot ako habang iniisip ang anak na pwedeng maranasan ang hirap na nararanasan ko. Natatakot akong maisip ang lungkot sa mga mata ni Atlas kung hindi ako papayagang magbuntis.
I covered my mouth to stop myself from sobbing, afraid the he'll hear me inside the room. My breath shortened, damang-dama ko ang masakit at mabilis na kalabog ng puso ko kaya nasapo ko ang aking dibdib.
I tried standing up to go to the sink but I slipped. Tumama ang aking likod sa may pintuan at mas nahilo ako. Bumagsak ako ng upo sa tiles, sapo ang dibdib at naghahabol ng hininga. Nararamdaman ko ang malamig na basa sa aking pisngi dahil sa mga luha pero mas lumamig ang pakiramdam ko nang dumilim ang paningin ko at nawalan ng lakas.
That night has been a nightmare for me ever since. I lost consciousness for almost half an hour inside the bathroom, lying on the cold tiles, and no one ever knew about it.
I woke up and I felt so heavy and restless, I was even shivering that I was not shocked when I caught a cold the next day and Atlas took a day off to take care of me.
Simula noong gabing iyon ay wala na ako sa sarili at madalas ay natutulala na lang. I was doing my best to be cheerful whenever I was with Atlas and my friends but when I was alone, it coming back to me.
Ni hindi ko pa makausap ang tatay ko, ni hindi ako makangiti kapag nand'yan siya pero kahit papaano'y masaya akong nirerespeto niya ang katahimikan ko.
I even asked for a second opinion in another hospital about my condition and he told me the same thing—the only thing that can make me better is surgery. Atlas was very careful with me these days, mukhang napapansin niya yata ang pagiging wala sa sarili kaya ginawa ko ang lahat para ipakita sa kanilang ayos lang ako at mukhang successful naman dahil bumalik sa usual na pakikitungo sa akin ang boyfriend ko.
Stressed about my upcoming boards, work and internship, I was very anxious. Mas dumalas ang paninikip ng dibdib ko na may mga pagkakataong muntik na akong mahuli nila Atlas pero sa kabutihang-palad ay hindi naaabutan.
Nang inaya ako ni Atlas para sa isang date pagkatapos kong tulungan si Heart sa pag-aasikaso ng kasal nila ni Josh ay pumayag ako. It was a very stressful week for me so I wanted to relax. Sa hectic ng schedule namin ni Atlas ay 'di na kami madalas nakakapag-date, hindi pa nagkakatagpo ang shift namin sa ospital dahil sa trabaho ko sa pharmacy at madalas na night shift ang boyfriend ko.
Wearing a simple black lacy-type turtleneck dress, we decided to meet up in a restaurant after his duty.
"Bibi!" I smiled when Atlas stood from his seat to welcome me. Halos dalawang araw kaming 'di nagkita dahil sa trabaho kaya miss na miss ko siya.
I ran to hug him, natawa siya at halos buhatin na ako habang niyayakap.
"Miss na miss ako ni Lia, ah?" he muttered playfully, cupping my cheek for a kiss.
"Siyempre! Hindi tayo nagkita!" I smiled at him after the kiss.
"I missed you too, bibi." He smiled handsomely, humawak siya sa baywang ko at marahang inalalayan ako paupo sa upuan.
He was so attentive all the time, masaya kaming nagkwentuhan habang kumakain at no'ng nagde-dessert na kami ay napansin ko bahagya ang kanyang pagkabalisa.
He looked nervous kaya inobserbahan ko lang siya.
"Kumusta ang preparation, Lia?" he asked after a while.
"Great," I smiled. "Nagsukat kami ng gown kanina, Heart chose me as the bridesmaid."
"That's great." He chuckled but I could see the edge. Binasa niya ang labi at sinuklay ng bahagya ang kanyang buhok ng daliri.
I noticed that he looked so handsome and formal tonight, may coat na itim na suot at sa loob ay ang kulay puting shirt niya at dog tag.
"Uh, Lia, you think...tayo kaya kailan?" he asked. I paused, my heart rate spiking.
"K-kailan ano?" I asked.
Nakita kong bahagya siyang pinagpawisan kahit malamig ang lugar kaya kinuha ko ang panyo ko para punasan ang noo niya.
"It's not that I'm pressuring you..." he muttered nang maibaba ko ang panyo. "If you don't want to, we won't be scheduling the date this early, i-it's for you to decide. Maybe after your boards or if...if kailan mo gusto."
I was stunned, may ideya na ako sa sinasabi niya pero hindi ako nagpahalata.
"What...what do you mean?" I breathed.
Oh... no, no, no.
"What I mean is..." He sighed and licked his lower lip, looking more nervous now. "Y-you know I love you so much, right?"
I slowly nodded, my heart racing.
"And you know my dreams...napag-usapan natin noong nakaraan. I am a doctor now and we're together but I wanted to ask you if you want us to fulfill my other dream too."
Natahimik na ako. He stood, nakita kong may tinanguan siya na kung sino at mas naging malapit sa amin ang malambing na musika sa background.
I didn't know how to react. He cleared his throat, looking so nervous and anxious. Bumigat ang pakiramdam ko.
I suddenly remembered my dilemma these past few days, his dreams of having a family which I was not sure I could give.
"Amalia Lorraine Argueles..." He puffed out a breath. "Bibi ko, I know this isn't the most romantic proposal ever but I want to think that this is special because I'm proposing to the only woman I've ever loved."
Sumikip ang dibdib ko, sobrang saya dahil pangarap ko rin ito. Gusto ko rin ito.
In my young fantasies up until now, he was in it. Like now...but not like this.
Nangilid ang luha ko habang pinagmamasdan siyang lumuluhod sa aking harapan. My younger self was screaming in glee but this Lia...she knew better.
"Lia, bibi..." He sighed again and bit his lip. "My updates may be glitching at times, well, palagi naman, but I promise to be the best version of myself every update. Please expect a few palpak moments but I-I promise I'll be upgrading for the best."
"A-Atlas..." Nahulog na ang luha ko.
He was also teary-eyed, suminghap siya at may kinuha sa kanyang likuran. My breath hitched when he took out a red velvet box, showing it to me.
"I won't force you to anything, k-kung gusto mong magtrabaho muna at matapos ang boards I'll respect it. I'll wait, Lia, but still...I want to ask your hand for marriage," he said and opened the box, and it revealed a simple yet stunning diamond ring.
Napasinghap na ako at patuloy nang nahulog ang mga luha, takot na takot at nasasaktan.
Gusto ko...gustong-gusto ko.
"Amalia Argueles, my bibi. The woman who had the kindest and bravest heart, would you like to accept my offer of love and marriage? Will you marry me, my brave girl?"
Nanginig na ako sa kakaiyak, and tears fell on his cheek too. Pinagtitinginan na kami ng mga tao at napapansin kong may mga camera na pero ang atensyon ko ay nasa kanya lang.
Nasa lalaking pinakamamahal ko. Sa tanging lalaking paglalaanan ko ng durog pero matapang na pusong ito.
"P-please, baby. Please give me a chance to love you the best. P-please give me a chance to marry and have a family with you..."
And all the hopes vanished. It all came back. I wanted so badly to say yes and kiss him hard but the possibility of not giving him kids, a family—was hunting me. Ang isiping maghihirap din ang aking anak at ang isipin ang lungkot sa mga mata ni Atlas kung sasabihin ng doktor na hindi kami pwedeng magkapamilya ay nanalo.
"L-Lia, baby?" he called, his voice shaking. "S-sagutin mo naman ako, oh." His voice broke.
"I-I'm..." Nanginig na ako at sumikip ang dibdib. "I-I'm sorry, Atlas but..." umiling ako.
His mouth parted, natulala siya sa akin at sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman at sa hiya sa kanya ay hindi ko na kinaya. I stood from my seat and despite the judgmental stares of the people around us, I managed to run towards the exit.
Sapo-sapo ko ang dibdib, umiiyak at habol ang hininga ay napaupo ako sa pavement pagkarating ng parking lot at napahagulgol na.
"I-I'm so sorry, Atlas...p-patawarin mo ako..." I whispered and sobbed harder until I felt my chest cramping and my oxygen snuffed out.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen3h.Co