Chapter Twelve
MIGS
"What were you doing with Saskia? I thought what you had with her was just a one night stand? Bakit inulit mo pa?" Coco threw a sideway glance at me as he drove.
"We didn't have sex, if that's what you're implying." I flatly replied.
"What did you do? Play chess with her the whole night? Bro, I'm starting to feel sorry for Hazel. You're going to get married and here you are, fooling around with another woman." He shook his head.
"Coco, I did not have sex with her." I stressed and then shifted on my seat to face him. "But there's something I need to tell you. This is just between you and I."
"What?"
"I got her pregnant." I confessed.
"Whoa!" He took a quick look at me, his car swerved slightly but he steadied it. "You got Saskia pregnant? What the hell?"
"I know..." My voice was low with shame. "I don't know what I'm going to do. Lalo kong nadagdagan ang kasalanan ko kay Hazel. She'll never forgive you. She'll call off the wedding. I already had everything planned, Coco. I can't lose her..."
"How do you even know it's yours? She's a bar girl. She fucks for a living." He said.
"She doesn't." I said in a low rumble. My brother had always had a very colorful language. "Saskia was a virgin when I had her."
"TMI, brotha!" He grimaced. "But how sure are you that the baby is yours? Okay, ikaw nga ang naka-first blood but bro, paano mo nalaman na wala ng iba?"
I sighed. "I just know, okay? She's not what you think she is. She and her family are nice people."
"So, what are you planning to do now then? When are you planning to tell the fam and Hazel?" He asked.
"I still don't know. Kailangan ko pang mag-ipon ng lakas ng loob." I huffed. I thought of Mom and Dad and how disappointed they'd be once they find out that I'd fooled around with another woman. I thought of Hazel and the dreams we had together. The disappointment, the hurt, the anger, the shame. I could already see it on their faces.
"What are you planning to do with Saskia and the baby?"
I shrugged. "I want to get them a nice place to live. Iyon ang una kong gustong gawin bago ang lahat. Their place is unsafe for my child. It's just Saskia there with her mother and two siblings. Mga bata pa ang kapatid niya. Someone could easily break into their home and who knows what could happen?"
"Magiging sugar daddy ka pa ngayon?" He snickered.
"Do you know a place good for them to live in? There's just four of them. A gated community with 24/7 security? Or perhaps a condominium unit?"
"You want me to find them a place?"
"Please, Coco, do me this favor. I have a lot of work in the office and..." I took in a deep sigh, feeling the guilt drowning me again. "Hazel and I will be busy preparing for our wedding in the next few months"
"Okay, sir Migs... Driver na, taga-hanap pa ng bahay para sa mistress mo. Wow. Parang all around boy mo na ako nito." He joked.
"I will make it up to you." I promised.
"Paano ba yan? Magkakaron na rin ng kalaro ang Cookie ko. Welcome to fatherhood, brotha." He smiled.
I shook my head but smiled anyway. How the baby was made may have been a mistake but I didn't want to think that the baby was a mistake.
Coco's phone buzzed.
"Can you get that for me, bro?" He asked.
I picked the phone up and the message showed on the screen.
Hi Coco. Saskia to! Pasensya na kung akala mo pinagbibigti kita. Alam mo naman di ako ganon kagaling mag-ingles. Pasabi kay Migs salamat sa mga binili niya saka mag-iingat siya lagi. Saka kung gusto niyang bumisita ulit bukas ang pinto namin para sa kanya. Salamat!
HAZEL
"Migs..." I hugged him from behind and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'm sorry, babe. I've been really busy with the business. Ngayon ko lang nakita ang mga text messages mo from yesterday."
"It's alright. I just wanted to make sure you're okay." He answered.
I admit. I tend to be a workaholic. Kaya nga mabilis kaming nag-click ni Migs. We both had the same mindset, the same visions and goals. He was a no-nonsense type of person who was all business. We were both practical. We both knew what we wanted and what we didn't. The first time I met him, I knew he was the one for me. Two years ago, I told myself that I'd marry him someday and look at us now.
"I'm doing all the work I can do now so that after the wedding hindi na tayo maiistorbo sa honeymoon natin." I giggled.
I stood in front of him and played with fiddled with his dark blue striped tie. He smiled but his eyes said otherwise. My hand reached over and touched his face.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing." He sighed and he bent down to press a kiss on my lips. "I love you, Hazel."
"I love you too, Migs." I answered.
"I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You won't be without me. I won't go anywhere. Dito lang ako, sa tabi mo..." I buried my face into his chest.
He was perfect, Miguel Cordova. He had always been consistent, composed, determined, and self-assured. He was everything I was looking for in a guy. We fit together like pieces to a puzzle.
The Cordovas were one of the crèma de la crèmes of high society. That was one of the reasons why I wanted to marry him. Mahal ko si Migs but we were both practical people. We weren't marrying for love alone. It was also a business strategy, an alliance through marriage. By marrying, we'd be extracting greater value from our businesses.
There are two types of rich. The nouveau riche and the vieux riche. The noueveau riche were the group Dad never wanted our family to be associated with. The newly acquired wealth. They lack the proper pedigree. The Cordovas came from old money and that was why my Dad approved of him.
'Old money is only meant for old money.' My Abuelo would always tell me.
I had been noticing the sudden changes in Migs' behavior for the past few weeks. He treats me like he always does but I couls feel that something had changed. Something had changed with the way he'd wrapped his arms around me, how he'd kiss me, and how he'd say I love you to me.
Sometimes I think he's getting cold feet. Normal lang naman daw sa lalaki ang magkaganon. My friends said old men go through that stage where they feel that they might not be ready for marriage. Natatakot lang siguro siya. Masyado din kasing independent si Miguel. He was probably scared of the idea of being tied down. But I knew he loved me. Nararamdaman ko naman iyon.
There was never any sweet proposals between us. No surprises. No ring. We were having dinner in this fancy restaurant and right there we decided we'd get married. It was very technical. We asked each other if we were ready for this and we both were. That was how we got engaged. Migs wasn't a romantic guy and so was I. What was important to us was that we had mutual respect for each other and mostly, we knew that we love each other. Hindi na kailangan ng mabulaklak na salita o kung anu-anong pagpapa-sweet. We loved each other, period.
"You know I can't wait to have a little Miggy of my own." Sabi ko.
His gaze lowered again. Was I starting to scare him?
"I mean, kung ready na tayong magka-baby pagkatapos ng kasal then we'd go for it. Pero kung hindi pa, okay lang din. We're still young and we have our whole life ahead of us. We'll het there when we're both ready."
He let out a huff and pulled me closer to him. He bent his head down and buried his face into my shoulder.
SASKIA
Bakit ba mali na mahalin ko siya? Iba ba ang ritmiko ng puso ng mayayaman sa mahihirap? Iba ba ang kulay ng dugo nila sa amin? Saan ba kami magkaiba?
Napabuntonghininga na lang ako. Siguro nga hanggang sa pangarap ko na lang ang isang katulad niya. Hindi naman ito isang ponytail kung saan sasagipin ng magiting na prinsipe ang nanganganib na prinsesa. Hindi ako prinsesa. Isa lang akong babaeng aksidentang nabuntis niya.
Saka isa pa, alam ko naman na malapit na siyang ikasal. Kaya lang naman siya pumunta dito hindi dahil para sa akin kundi dahil para sa batang dinadala ko. Hindi naman magkakamali si Migs na mainlove sa akin. Eh hamak na mas maganda sa akin yung jowa niyang mala-byuti queen. Ano bang laban ko dun? Ako lang naman si Saskia
Tumunog ang cellphone ko at nakita ang number niya. Nung tinext ko kasi yung kapatid niyang si Coco, binigay niya sa akin yung bagong number ni Migs para daw kung kailangan ko siya pwede ko siyang matext o matawagan.
Pero siya rin naman unang nagtext sa akin. Kinamusta niya ako at ang pakiramdam ko. Tinanong niya kung ininom ko ba yung gatas at yung gamot na inireseta sa akin ng doktor.
Malapit na maglunch. Nakakain ka na ba?
Feeling ko tuloy sa mga text niya may jowa ako. Hindi pa kasi ako nagkaka-jowa kahit kailan. Ngayon ko lang nararanansan mataranta at maghagilap ng phone sa tuwing tutunog ito.
'Hindi pa nga. Magluluto pa lang ako ng meryenda. Ikaw? Kumain ka na ba?' Sabi ko sa kanya sa text.
Wala pang isang minuto may reply na agad. 'Not yet. May tinatapos pa akong trabaho dito sa office. You should get something to eat. Baka magutom si baby.'
'Huwag ka ngang ganyan baka mainlove ako sa'yo.' Yun ang pinindot ng mga daliri ko pero mabilis ko rin binura iyon. 'Bumili ako ng danggit saka magluluto ako ng pakbet. Gusto mo?'
'Sarap naman niyan. I wish I could go there and eat with you.' Agad na sagot niya.
Nanguya ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko habang binabasa ang text niya.
'Gusto mo dalhan na lang kita?' Pinindot ko ang send. Parang gusto kong magsisi. Parang gusto kong ibalik ang text na iyon ng hindi siya sumagot sa akin ng mahigit tatlong minuto.
Natatarant binuksan ko ang cellphone ko ng tumunog iyon. 'Dadalhan mo ako dito?'
'Kung gusto mo lang naman. Idadaan ko na lang diyan. Lalabas din kasi ako mamaya, magsisimba ako.' Dahilan ko na lang.
'Sige. I'll wait for it. Thank you, Saskia.' Sabi niya.
Ewan ko ba pero gusto kong magtatalon sa kilig. Gusto niyang hatiran ko siya ng pagkain! Sasarapan ko ng bonggang-bongga ang luto ko. Yung tipong makakalimutan niya na ang pangalan niya.
Kumaripas ako ng takbo sa kusina at hinanda ang mga lulutuin ko.
"Inaanak, ang aga mo naman yatang magluto. Mamaya pa ang hapunan natin." Sabi ni Ninang Jodie ng maabutan niya ako sa kusina.
"Hahatiran ko si Migs ng pagkain. Hindi pa daw kasi siya kumakain saka gusto niyang matikman luto ko." Masayang sabi ko habang ginigisa ang mga gulay.
"Aba! Ano'ng meron? Feeling asawa? Hoy, Saskia. Paaalala ko lang sa'yo, nabuntis ka lang pero hindi ibig sabihin nun kayo na." Sabi niya.
"Alam ko naman iyon, nang. Gusto ko lang naman siyang ipagluto. Wala naman ibig sabihin 'to." Kibit-balikat na sabi ko.
"Tumingin ka nga sa akin, Saskia, sandali lang." Utos niya.
Lumingon ako sa kanya.
"Tumingin ka sa mga mata ko."
Ginawa ko ang sinabi niya.
"Ngayon mo sabihin sa akin na wala kang nararamdaman para sa Migs na yan."
Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko. "Kasi naman, Ninang. Nangangarap na nga lang ako, kinokontra niyo pa ni Mammy. Alam ko naman kung ano ako sa kanya."
"Yun naman pala eh! Huwag kang ngangawa-ngawa sa akin kapag nasaktan ka ng Migs na yan. Kukurutin ko talaga singit mo." Banta niya.
"Don't worry, Nang. Crush ko lang naman si Migs. Masama ba yun? Saka kayo din naman ni Mammy ang nagturo sa akin na hindi masama mangarap tapos kayo din mambabasag ng trip ko. Ang gulo niyo ha. Hindi ba sa pangarap the sky's the langit?"
"Ewan ko sayo, Saskia. O edi, sige kung saan ka masaya. Susuportahan na lang kita. Pag ikaw umiyak dahil diyan sa Migs na yan, pagtatawanan talaga kita. Kala mo ha!"
"Ito naman si Ninang, ang init ng ulo mo. Wala kang booking ngayon no?" Tumawa ako ng bahagya.
"Tiran mo na lang ako ng ulam, matutuwa pa ko sa'yo." Sabi niya.
Pagkatapos kong lutuin ang pagkain ay naglagay ako sa isang lalagyan ng kanina tapos nilagay ko yung pakbet at danggit sa ibabaw nito. Tinakpan ko ang lalagyan at nagpunta ako sa opisina ni Migs.
Hindi naman ako nahirapan pumasok katulad ng dati dahil mukhang pinagbilin na ako ni Migs dito sa baba. Pinaakyat din ako sa opisina niya. Hindi din ako pinigilan ng sekretarya niyang masungit ng pumasok ako sa kwarto.
"Hi, Mi—" Bigla akong natulaley ng makita ko ang magandang jowa niya. "Hi..."
Hindi siya kumibo. Tinitigan niya ako na para bang nakakita siya ng multo. Alam kong walang alam ang jowa niya tungkol sa amin. Gusto kong manliit sa presensya ng magandang babaeng kasama niya. Nakakapanliit ang byuti niya.
"Hello." Binigyan ako ng isang malapad na ngiti ng babae. "I don't think I've ever seen you here before. Who are you?"
Ilang segundo bago ko nagawang magsalita dahil sa gulat. "I...I like you to meet myself. I'm Saskia, what's yours?"
Napakurap siya na para bang pinoproseso sa utak niya ang mga sinabi ko. English na nga yun! Baka hindi niya pa maintindihan?
"Oh, what's my name? Is that what you mean? I'm Hazel, his fiancee." Sabi niya bago tumingin kay Migs. "Migs, sino siya?"
"Ah, sir Migs. Ito na po yung inorder niyong pagkain." Agad na sabi ko at inabot ang lalagyan ng pagkain na ginawa ko para sa kanya.
Sandali kaming nagkatitigan bago siya napabuntong-hininga at nagsalita. "Thanks, Saskia."
"Sige po." Tumango ako bago tumingin kay Hazel. "Malapit lang kasi yung carinderia namin dito sa opisina kaya nag-alok kami dito. Nagustuhan naman nila kaya naghahatid-hatid ako ng mga meryenda. Baka po kayo, ma'am, gusto niyong umorder."
"No, thank you." Sagot niya.
"Okay po. Sige, aalis na ako." Muling nagtama ang mga mata namin ni Migs. "Sana magustuhan mo yan, sir."
"Thanks again, Saskia." Pilit ang ngiting sabi niya.
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