Kabanata 18
Happy 400K, Archers!!! We're growing! Huhu! I love you all!!! You can also listen to LhynRie Dawn's song originally composed and inspired by Gelo and Philie! Iyak tayo all HAHAHA! Enjoy!
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Kabanata 18
"You waited for me?" kung posible lang ay paniguradong may kumikinang na sa mga mata ko ngayon.
Hindi siya sumagot, nakita ko ang pagtanggal niya ng plato sa tray habang nahimik pa rin kaya ngumuso ako, nangingiting nagtungo sa harapan niya pero biglang natigilan.
Bumalik ako sa pwesto niya, nang makakita nang bakante sa tabi ay mabilis akong naupo at pumahalubaba, sumusulyap sa pwesto niya.
"What?" he asked, making me grin. "You're such a creep, Philomena." Aniya bago sumimangot at doon na ako natawa.
"Wala, masama ba maging masaya?" I giggled. "Masaya lang ako kasi inantay mo 'ko. It was such an honor to eat with you, your highness."
"You're weird," he tilted his head, ang plato sa tray na para sa akin ay inilagay niya sa tapat ko. "Why are you sitting here, anyway? The seat in front is empty."
"Basa, eh." I shrugged, lying. "Atsaka, mas gugustuhin kong tabihan ang asawa ko, 'di ba? Kaysa doon sa harapan na may basa?"
"Philomena—"
"Shh," I placed my finger on his lips, stopping him. "H'wag na magreklamo, nakakapangit 'yan, babe."
He eyed me boredly, mas nilakihan ko pa ang ngiti ko para mang-asar pero ako rin ang nawala ang ngiti nang basta na lang niyang kagatin ang daliri kong nasa labi niya.
Halos mahulog ako sa upuan, namilog pa ang mata ang hinuli niya ang pulsuhan ko, tinanggal ang pagkakakagat sa daliri at marahang ibinaba.
"I don't like loud girls." He said and put my hands on my lap. "I bite."
"Oh my freaking..." I gasped loudly, "baka gusto mong pasabugin natin ang eardrums mo, Gelo?"
"Shh..." he hushed and checked the utensils, "you're loud."
I bit my inner cheek to refrain myself from smiling like a weirdo but I can't help it, nakita ko ang paghalo niya ng juice gamit ang straw bago iyon nilagay sa tapat ko, kagaya no'ng madalas niya gawin noon.
I am positive what he'll do next tho, he'll take his juice and stir it too then he'll drink it first and I almost clapped when he did what I am expecting him to...in sequence.
"Alam mo bang ang tunay na sarap ay sa akin mo lang malalasap?" biro ko, bigla niyang nabuga ang juice.
Napatalon naman ako sa gulat at nag-panic, dali-daling inabot ang tissue para iabot sa kanya na kaagad niyang hinablot, nag-iwas ng tingin at umiling, pilit lumayo nang haplusin ko ang likod niya.
"Gelo, sorry!" natatawa kong sabi, "are you okay—"
"Don't..." he coughed again and caught my hand, shaking his head pero 'di ako makapagpigil ng tawa.
He then calmed down, ang matalim niyang tingin ay kaagad na nakatuon sa akin kaya napatakip ako ng bibig at nanlaki ang mata.
"Gelo, baka pwede naman nating pag-usapan 'to?" I asked in a small voice.
"Where can I bite you?" malamig niyang sabi at umawang ang labi ko.
"T-talaga ba?!"
"I said, I don't like loud girls...and you happened to be one of them, Philomena." His reddish lips pursed. "Where do I get to bite you—"
"Dito!" I moved my hair and showed him my neck. "Dito, dito! Kagatin mo 'ko, Gelo-vampire. Now na!" halos ingudngod ko na sa kanya ang leeg at tumungo nga siya sa leeg ko, humawak pa sa baywang para ipirmi ako.
My heart's beating loudly, I even closed my eyes while waiting for his precious vampire bite. My hand's in a tight fist too but moments came...instead of the bite I've been waiting, ang mahina niyang tawa sa tainga ko ang narinig ko.
Mabilis akong napamulat ng mata, namamangha pa habang naririnig ang mahina niyang tawa sa tainga ko. I felt him rested his forehead on my shoulder then when I tilted my head, I caught his shoulders moving.
"F-fuck..." he laughed again and it's getting louder. "Shit, I-I'm sorry...I'm..." biglang naging tunog utot ang tawa niya sa sobrang pagpipigil at doon na ako napabughalit ng tawa.
"Shit..." he cursed loudly and laughed, nang nag-angat ng tingin at nagkatingin kami ay sabay kaming natawa sa isa't-isa, halos maluha. Napalo ko pa ang lamesa sa sobrang pagpipigil, napapansing pinagtitinginan ang ingay naming dalawa pero wala akong pakialam.
Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami tumagal ng tawa roon.
Angelo was laughing his ass off but he's doing his best to remain serious from time to time kaya pulang-pula ang mestisong mukha, biglang seseryoso pero kapag makikita akong natatawa pa ay matatawa naman siya.
"Okay...okay, ayoko na...ayoko na." I gasped and covered my mouth, nahahapo pa ata kakatawa at may nag-abot sa akin ng tubig kaya kinuha ko iyon, natantong ang asawa ko ang nagbigay habang umiinom dahil sa titig niya sa akin kaya nag-init ang pisngi ko.
"Kalma na?" I asked and grinned.
"Well, my jaw hurts." He touched his jaw and tilted his head, "I think that's the first time I laughed the hard, it's embarrassing."
"Hindi naman!" I shook my head, inabot sa kanya ang baso ng tubig na inabot niya rin at ininom. Nakita ko ang pawis sa may leeg niya kakatawa kaya kinuha ko ang panyo at inilapit sa kanya.
He looked shocked when he felt my hand, nakita ko ang pagbaba niya ng baso mula sa labi kaya nagsalita na ako.
"May pawis 'yong leeg mo, punasan ko lang." I said and smiled sweetly.
Akala ko'y tatanggi siya pero wala siyang sinabing kahit ano, sa halip ay hinayaan akong punasan ang leeg niya, paakyat sa kanyang panga. I saw his adam's apple moved, ang mata niya'y nakatitig sa akin kaya napatitig din ako sa kanya at naramdaman ang pahinga sa gitna ng pagod ko.
"Are you always like that?" he asked while maintaining eye contact with me.
"Like what?"
"Can you always make me laugh like that?" he asked seriously this time. I saw something on his eyes, it was as if he's trying to look for something on my face and I felt like I'm looking at my husband right now...my Gelo.
"I guess so?" ngumiti ako ng malambing at pinunasan ang noo niya bago inabot ang kanyang buhok para suklayin ng kaunti. "You make me laugh like that before, always. I guess that's what I do to you, Gelo."
Napatitig siya sa akin at nagulat ako nang abutin niya ang buhok ko bago unti-unting inilagay sa buhok sa likod ng tainga ko.
"Where's your bangs?" he asked. "Oink-oink?"
"Oh my..." suminghap na ako at napakurap-kurap. "Y-you remembered?!"
Muli siyang sumeryoso, nakita ko ang pag-iiwas niya ng tingin sa akin at pagbaba ng kamay, muling bumaling sa lamesa.
"No..." nakagat ko ang labi sa sagot niya. "I've only seen the photos and watched some videos, I heard myself teasing you with that."
I was sad and disappointed but I'm not in a rush kaya tumawa ako ng mahina at inabot ang kutsara ko.
"It's okay, Gelo. We are not rushing." I said, "take your time, it's not like I'll leave."
"Will you not?" he asked, glancing sideways and I smiled and shook my head.
"Nope. I vowed to you, in front of hundreds of people and in front of God that I'll stay. No matter what." Marahang sabi ko at saglit siyang tumango at muling bumabaling sa pagkain niya.
Ang makasamang muli ang asawa ko sa pagkain ay isa sa mga memoryang hindi ko alam noon ay magiging pinakaimportante sa akin.
While we're eating, it was always me who's speaking—like always, of course and he's the listener type.
Tumatango lang siya, minsa'y tititig at walang reaksyon masyado pero he's really not a talker, malalaman mo lang talagang nakikinig siya dahil sa mga mata niya.
"Did I court you, then?" he asked and I nodded, munching on my dessert I ordered.
"Hmm! Ayaw ko na sa 'yo kasi may pagka—no offense, ah? Love kita, okay?" I whispered.
"What is it?" he asked, curious.
"Jerk." I whispered back and he frowned at me, glaring kaya natawa na ako.
"I am not like that, Philomena—"
"Oh, oh, oh..." I said in a sing-song. "You are, before." I pointed out. "Niligawan mo ako tapos ayon, tao lang naman ako...marupok kay Dr. Samaniego kaya kumerengkeng din ang gaga."
I pointed myself, "I'm the gaga."
The side of his lips rose, may inabot siya sa lamesa at natanto kong tissue iyon nang may pinahid siya sa gilid ng labi ko.
"You're a messy eater, woman." He said seriously and lowered the tissue, making me smile.
"Sorry, masarap, eh." Turo ko sa pagkain kaya bumaling siya roon at ngumiwi.
"I can't believe you liked that grass so much..." simangot niya.
"Anong grass?" nguso ko, "it's Caesar salad, Gelo. Caesar." Maarteng sabi ko pa kaya umiling siya.
"It tasted weird. Mom used to let me eat that but I ended up puking. Walang masarap sa damo, Philomena. 'Di ka mabubusog diyan."
"It is yummy, okay?" I raised the fork. "Here, taste it." Inilapit ko sa kanya ang salad pero ngumiwi siya at umiling.
"No fucking way..."
"Gelo...please?" nguso ko.
"No." He moved away.
"Gelo?" I called, "come on, masarap 'to, promise..."
"No," pagmamatigas niya pero nagpaawa akong lalo at mas lumalim ang gatla sa kanyang noo. "That tasted weird. I said no—"
"Edi don't." I sulked, eating the salad instead, frowning. "Napakaarte, kakainin lang." Bulong-bulong ko.
"Philie..."
"Philie who?" bulong ko sa hangin at naramdaman ko ang hawak niya sa braso ko.
"Hey—"
"Dra.!" mula sa asawa ko ay napabaling ako sa gilid, gulat nang makita si Dr. Jon na papalapit.
"Doc!" I greeted and smiled, "how's the meeting?"
"Great! They approved it!" he chuckled, "nagustuhan nila 'yong inayos mong presentation kahapon—"
Angelo's obvious clearing of throat stopped everyone. Nakita ko ang pagbaling ni Jon doon at ang gulat niyang mga mata ay pansin ko kaagad.
"Dr. Samaniego!" he called, "nandito ka pala, Doc." He smiled.
"My wife's here, obviously." Hearing him calling me his wife almost made me dance in glee, kagat-kagat ko ang labi ko roon para mapigil ang ngiti sa kabila ng tensyon.
"I see, I was just talking to Dra. Suarez." Jon said, "the presentation she made for the board gave our proposal a higher chance to be approved—"
"Dra. Samaniego." Sagot ng asawa ko at bumilog na ang bibig ko.
Oh my God? Oh my God? Oh my God!
"Oh, my bad." Dr. Jon smiled a bit, "I forgot. Hindi ko kasing dama na mag-asawa pala kayo—"
"Doc," I cut him off, "let's talk later, hmm? Kain muna kami ng asawa ko."
"Oh, sure..." the friendly smile on his lips came back, "sorry for bothering you both, is that Caesar, Philie? Masarap? Mayro'n pa? That's my favorite."
"Really?" my eyes brightened, bumaling ako sa pagkain ko at tumango. "Oo, marami pa ro'n, order ka na at baka maubusan ka pa. Favorite mo pala 'to?"
"Oo," he chuckled and glanced at my husband tapos biglang namilog ang mata niya. "I...I think I gotta go." Ngisi niyang hilaw at bumaling sa akin. "Dra., mamaya?"
"Hmm..." ngiti ko at nakita ko ang muling sulyap niya sa asawa ko at mukhang natakot siya kaya napahawak siya sa batok at biglang naglaho kaya doon na ako bumaling kay Gelo.
Of course, I caught him following Jonathan with his glares, making me laugh.
"Hoy, Angelo..." I called and caught his chin, tilting it so he could look at me. "H'wag ka naman pahalatang nagseselos—"
"I'm not damn jealous, Philomena." He scoffed, looking away. "I'm too old for that—"
"Uh-huh?" natawa ako, "eh, bakit 'yang mata mo may laser?"
"What? I'm not." His brows furrowed. Ngumiti ako sa kanya pagkahuli ng mata niya. "I said, I'm fucking not."
"Edi fine," ngiti ko, bumabaling sa salad at tinusok iyon. "But I told you, Caesar's great, look at Dr. Jon, favorite niya rin. Parehas pala kaming favorite 'to." Sabi ko bago iyon kinain, bumabaling sa asawa ko pero sa gulat ko ay hinuli niya ang baba ko.
He tilted my chin, pulled it towards him and crashed his lips against mine. Sa gulat ko at bilis ng kalabog ng puso ay bahagyang umawang ang labi ko, dahilan para maipasok niya ang dila sa bibig ko.
I felt how he sensually licked the insides of my mouth, owning it as he bit my lower lip, sucking it briefly before moving away, proving his point.
"I take it back," he said after kissing me, licking his lip. "I liked Caesar now, it tasted better in your lips. I got my new favorite."
Malalim ang paghinga ko habang nakatitig sa kanya, "Gelo..." I even called.
"We have now the same favorite." He raised his brow, his jaw clenched and smiled playfully before standing from his seat. "I gotta go now, Philomena. Be a good girl, wife."
Para akong nawawalang bata pagkatapos ng nakakaloka at nakakaalog ng brain cells na lunch. Tulala pa rin ako habang hawak-hawak ang labi at 'di lang matatauhan kung hindi ako binatukan ni Phoebe.
"Hoy, hoy, hoy? Ano itong narinig kong kinalantari ka raw ni Dean Angelo sa cafeteria?!" halos lumabas na ang ngala-ngala ng kaibigan kaya mabilis akong napatayo at tinakpan ang bibig niya.
"Phoebe!" I hissed, "secret lang—"
"Anong secret, eh, ang dami niyong audience roon? Nasa public place kayong malalanding mag-asawa kayo!" I noticed nurses glancing our way at sa sobrang pag-iinit ng pisngi ko ay hinila ko na ang kaibigan patungo sa opisina ko.
"Shh! H'wag kang mag-shout out! Nagulat din ako, Phoebe!" irit ko. "Like...oh my God? Nabuhay ang natutulog kong kilig cells!"
"Loko ka!" she laughed and smacked my arm, "how? Parang nitong nakaraan lang 'di siya namamansin! Tapos isang gabi lang nakalipas ay okay na kayo? Bakit? Don't tell me nagpatuhog ka kagabi?!"
"Anong tuhog? Hoy, bibig mo!" kinurot ko na si Phoebe na tatawa-tawa sa akin, "ano ako? Barbeque?!"
Lumakas ang tawa niya, halos hilahin niya ako palapit sa sofa kaya naupo kami roon para mag-kwentuhan.
"Oo pwede, sa sobrang rupok mo kasi baka isang kindat lang sa 'yo ni Samaniego bubukaka ka na—"
"Phoebe!" naeeskandalong namilog ang mata ko at tinampal ang bibig niya, dahilan para matawa siya.
"Okay, jokes aside. Not that it isn't true, ah? Marupok ka kasi talaga sa asawa mo." She grinned, "pero tell me, what happened? Why is he suddenly like that? Parang nakikita ko na 'yong Angelo na malandi pagdating sa 'yo, ah?"
"Ganito kasi 'yan..." I started off and continued into telling her everything that had happened last night, from the moment I got home, to the divorce matters and today and she was gasping after hearing it.
"That's why he's super weird!" she exclaimed.
"Why?"
"Kasi kanina, Cairis called. Sabi niya, tumawag daw si Angelo kanina, nagtatanong kung p'wede raw siyang makausap tungkol sa 'yo!"
"Me?" I pointed myself, "why?"
"I'm not sure but Cai told me na nagpapa-kwento raw. Kung ano kayo siguro noon or what." Unti-unti na akong napangiti roon.
"You mean...my husband, he wanted to know me?"
"I guess so," ngumisi siya. "That's a good sign, tho. Kagaya nga ng sabi mo, sinabi ko sa kanya kagabing bigyan ka ng chance para makilala ka and I think he's doing it. Looking at it, I think he's really comfortable with you, sa bagay, ilang taon din kayong mag-jowa, 'di ba?"
"Oo," tango ko, may ngiti pa rin. "I really do hope he's opening up for me. Miss na miss ko na ang Gelo ko, Phoebe. Wala na akong hihilingin pa kung hindi ay ang makaalala na siyang muli."
The whole day, I was energetic and all smiles. Nakausap ko si Dr. Jon tungkol sa proposal namin at masayang-masaya akong malaman na approved ang balak naming mini-nursery at library sa mga batang hindi nakakapasok na dahil sa sakit nila or naka-confine.
It was really our dream, to teach the kids in simple ways so they won't get left out in learning. Isa rin 'yan sa proposal na hiningi ko sa San Isidro pedia ward at dahil nga sa tulong ng ospital na ito kung saan ako nagtatrabaho ngayon ay nabigyan din iyon ng buhay.
I planned on visiting our hospital there in San Isidro one of these days, maybe if my husband's better. Bibisita rin ako kina Nanay at Tatay, ayaw ko pa namang bumabyahe sila sa malayo at mabilis mapagod na kaya ako ang nagpi-presinta palaging dadalaw.
I even saw my husband when I was visiting the playroom, doing his rounds at pagkakita ko pa lang sa kanya ay kumindat na ako. He only smirked and shook his head, looking away but when I saw him hiding a small smile, I felt like I won the lottery. Big time.
Nawala lang ang ngiti ko nang hindi sinasadyang makita ko si Samantha na papasok sa ospital noong break ko ng hapon. She looked shock upon seeing me and even tried to go back but I ran after her and asked her if we could talk and she was hesitating but couldn't say no because I got her cornered. Sa rooftop kami nag-usap kung saan kaming dalawa lang ang naroon.
"Bakit mo sinabi iyon sa asawa ko?" iyon kaagad ang panimula ko at nakita ko ang pagpikit niya ng mariin.
"What? I never told Angelo anything—"
"He said I am cheating, Samantha!" my voice rose. "And he told me clearly it was you who told him that! That it was you who told him we only get wed because of our parents!"
She looked stunned, she even tried looking away but I spoke again.
"You know I never forced him to marry me, Sam!" mariing sabi ko, "Angelo and I...we were together for years! Who gave you the right to ruin my reputation to him?"
"Nagmahal lang ako, Philomena!" she exclaimed, startling me. Nang lingunin niya ako ay nangingilid na ang luha niya. "M-mahal ko ang asawa mo!"
"Really?" my voice turned colder, "would you really do that for love, Sam? Would you ruin someone else's marriage for the said love of yours? Huh?"
"It was only him who made me feel I was loved, Philie!" she exclaimed frustratedly. "D-Dean is the only man I have before and you took him away from me!"
"I never took anything from you, Sam." Matabang kong sabi, "you just didn't give the things you had importance, akala mo'y mga bagay silang basta mo na lang pwedeng kunin pagkatapos mong iwanan."
"No..." umiling siya, "m-mahal ako ni Dean—"
"Please, Sam." Pagod kong sabi, "please don't do this, okay? Give yourself importance, you're not like this. You wouldn't ruin our marriage just for that love of yours, wouldn't you?"
"S-siya lang ang mayro'n ako, Philie..." mas humina ang boses niya. "S-simula noon, hanggang ngayon, si Dean lang ang nagbigay sa akin ng importansya—"
"No, Sam." Iling ko, "ikaw din dapat ay binibigyan ng importansya ang sarili mo. What you're doing now, what you're trying to do—ruining our marriage, brainwashing my husband—it's you throwing away all the importance and care you should be giving yourself."
"My family don't care for me, P-Philie..." umiling siya, "m-my Dad, he's always busy. My M-mom and him separated and they gave me everything but it wasn't enough, Dean is the only person who s-stayed with me. Who cared for me b-but...but..."
Hindi ako nakaimik, naiintindihan ang gusto niyang ipahiwatig. I was hurt and feeling bad and sorry, hindi maisip kung sakaling ganyan din ang nararanasan ko.
"Please, Philie..." to my shock, she took my hands, gripping it and started crying. "P-please...b-bigay mo na lang sa akin si Dean."
"W-what?" I gasped, "are you okay? Why would I give my husband to you?"
"S-si Dean...si Dean, ako ang mahal niya." She gasped and gripped my hands more firmly this time. "S-sabi niya sa akin na a-ako ang pipiliin niya, na ayaw niya sa 'yo!"
"Sam, please..." sumasakit na ang ulo ko sa pakikinig pero ayaw kong magalit sa ngayon dahil alam kong may pinanghuhugutan siya. "I'm so sorry you have to feel that way, I am so sorry your family's not there for you and you don't deserve that pain."
"R-right?" her voice trembled, looking at me with her wide eyes. "I'm sorry for doing what I d-did to you, okay? I-I don't deserve that pain, right? Bibigay mo na sa akin si Dean?"
I sighed, gathering more patience.
"I understand your pain and I am not invalidating it, Sam, but Angelo's different." Nakita ko ang pagkawala ng kung ano sa kanyang mata. "Angelo's not a thing I could give just to anyone. Angelo's my husband, mahal ko 'yon at hindi ko siya ipapamigay sa kahit kanino."
"But I'm hurting, Philomena!" she said desperately, gripping my hands more and it's painful but I remained calm.
"Hindi sapat na dahilan ang nasasaktan ka para ipamigay ko ang asawa ko, Samantha." I sighed, "I hope you understand my point—" sa gulat ko ay biglang bumaon ang kuko niya sa pulsuhan ko.
"What the hell?" I pushed her, hinila ko ang kamay ko mula sa kanya at ang iritado niyang mata ay sa akin na nakatuon.
"You really didn't have an ounce of concern in you, Philomena." Mariing sabi niya, unti-unting pinunasan ang luha sa pisngi. "You are nothing but a pretending bitch—"
"What?" natawa pa ako, "said by someone who used his family problem to ruin a marriage?"
"But I am hurt, Philomena!" her voice raised, touching her chest. "Nasaktan ako! Wala akong kasama sa buhay and I only have him! For years, it was only him! Tapos ikaw? Kunwari'y concern pero ano? Plastic pala! You pretend you're understanding me but you couldn't give me Dean—"
"Hindi bagay ang asawa ko, Samantha!" hindi ko na naiwasang tumaas ang boses. "Tao ang asawa ko at mahal ko siya! H'wag mo akong itulad sa 'yong ginagawang laro ang lahat! You became matured, you said? You were established, you said? Where is it now? Why can't I fucking see it now?!"
"Give me Dean." Mariing sabi niya, "sa akin si Dean, okay? Hindi na kita guguluhin, basta ibigay mo siya sa akin. I am hurt, Philie, can't you see?! Just please...please give me Dean, h-hindi ka naman niya mahal—"
"You hurting doesn't mean I have to take it away from you, Sam. Hindi dahil nasasaktan ka ay magpapaubaya ako para sa 'yo." Malamig kong sabi at mas nakita ko ang pagkamuhi sa mga mata niyang naluluha.
"Y-you're heartless, Philomena." Mariing sabi niya, "Angelo would divorce you, just wait—"
"If this is being heartless then so be it, but I'm not giving my husband to you." Mariing sinabi ko.
Iniwan ko siyang tulala roon sa rooftop, I was heaving a deep sigh upon going down. Nagtungo kaagad sa opisina ko at bumagsak ng upo sa swivel, hinihilot ang ulo kong nananakit sa naging usapan.
I hope she'd clear her head and think about this through.
Halos mapatalon ako sa kinauupuan nang bumukas ang pintuan, napatayo ako kaagad nang makita ko si Phoebe na mukhang balisa pa nang makita ako.
"Philie! Kanina ka pa namin hinahanap!" she gasped.
"H-huh?" Kaagad na kumalabog ang puso ko. "Why?"
"Si Stacy..." she said, referring to one of my favorite patients in the ward.
Kinakabahan at naiiyak ako habang sumusunod sa kanya, I immediately saw Dr. Jonathan on the emergency room kaya dagli akong tumakbo patungo sa kanya at humawak.
"W-what happened, Doc?" I asked, "h-how's Stacy? Is she okay?"
"She suddenly fainted and I just noticed bruises reappearing on her skin, Philie." He explained kaya napasulyap ako kay Stacy na nakahiga roon at inaasikaso.
"T-then?" I asked, "i-is she okay? Why didn't I notice the bruises? Kalaro ko lang siya kanina, Jon."
"Nasa may hita niya unang lumitaw, hindi kita dahil sa suot." He sighed, "she was looking for you earlier, saying she's dizzy and her nose bled. Next thing we know, she fainted and we rushed her here."
I was so terrified while waiting for the results to come and when it did, I was devastated.
Stacy had suffered from Acute Myeloid Leukemia before and now, after the tests, we found out it she had relapses and now it's back.
I don't like to cry but I found myself crying, dinala na si Stacy sa private room pero ang malamang gano'n ang kanyang lagay ay nasasaktan ako. The doctor specializing leukemia had told me not to get our hopes up because the next chemo might be life-threatening for Stacy this time.
"We'll do our best, okay? Gagaling si Stacy." Dr. Jon calmed me down.
"Oo nga, Philie. You know our Stacy is a brave kid, ilang ulit na bumabalik ang leukemia niya pero nanatili pa rin siyang malakas. Of course, she'd make it this time again. Lalo na at nandiyan ka pa, she loves you so much."
"What happened? Where's Stacy? Is she okay?" my eyes found my husband's and I became more emotional, nakita ko ang paglambot ng mata niya nang makita ako at nang takbuhin ko na siya ay mabilis niya akong inabot at niyakap ng mahigpit.
"What happened to Stacy, Philie?" he whispered. "Is she okay?"
"H-her leukemia's b-back again, Gelo." I whispered and he cursed under his breath, hugging me tighter this time.
Magkasama kami ng asawa kong pumasok sa private room noong sinabi na pwede na namin siyang mabisita. I was in the verge of crying again but I did my best not to.
I was used to seeing Stacy well and cheerful kaya ngayong nasa higaan siya at walang malay ay nasasaktan akong makita.
"She'll be okay," nang hawakan ng asawa ko ang kamay kong nakakuyom ay medyo guminhawa ang pakiramdam ko, tila gumagaan ang bigat sa dibdib.
Tumango ako, ipinikit ko ng mariin ang mata habang naglalakad palapit kay Stacy na mukhang anghel na natutulog lang sa kama.
Saglit akong bumitaw kay Gelo para i-check ang vital signs ng bata at nakita ko ang asawang naupo sa gilid ng kama, hinahaplos ang buhok nito.
"I didn't even pay the kids a visit." Mahina man ang pagkakasabi niya ay narinig ko 'yon kaya napaisip ako.
"You remembered Stacy, Gelo?" I asked and he nodded, still staring at the kid.
"Stacy's been here for so long," he said, "but I didn't have the guts to check on them since I couldn't remember anything. I don't want them to find out I didn't know them. I'm really not that close with the kids."
"Who says you're not?" Nang makita konang kuryoso niyang mata kaya ngumiti ako at naupo sa tabi niya. "The kids knows you, you're pretty close with them."
"Really?" his forehead creased and I smiled, nodding my head.
"Yes, I wasn't sure when but they loved you. Baka naging kalapit ka nila sa ilang buwan sa naaalala mo ngayon o taon, hindi ko alam but the kids call you their Papa Dean."
I saw his mouth parted a bit, he brushed his hair, kunot pa ang noo habang marahang tumatango.
"You mean...I'm close to Stacy?"
"She's our favorite kid, mind you." I smiled softly, "unlike the other kids here, she doesn't have a family. She treats us as her own. She was even calling me her Mama Philie."
"That's why..." he said seriously, making me curious.
"Why?"
"When Castiel informed me Stacy was rushed in the ER, I was fucking nervous, considering I wasn't even that close with the kid..." baling niya kay Stacy. "Turns out I am."
"Her doctor said her AML had a relapse, Gelo. It came back." Paliwanag ko at tumitig sa kamay ko, "I was just playing with her earlier, Gelo. May mga bisita ang mga bata, nandito ang parents nila kanina kaya si Stacy ang kalaro ko. We were just playing her dolls earlier and now..."
"Let's stay with her, I believe she'll be fine, Philomena." Nagulat ako nang inabot niya ang kamay ko. "I know it's hard, thinking it'll be critical and risky for her but you have to—we have to be strong for her."
"Hmm..." I nodded, nangingilid na naman ang luha at naramdaman ko ang unti-unting pag-abot niya sa pulsuhan ko.
"What happened to your wrists, Philomena?" gulat akong sumulyap sa kanya at nakita ang salubong niyang kilay habang nakatitig sa pulsuhan ko at doon ko lang nakitang may bakat pa pala ang mariing hawak ni Sam doon.
"It's nothing—"
"These look liked fingernails," malamig niyang sabi at mas inilapit ang tingin sa pulso ko. "Did someone hurt you? Who was it?"
"P-papa Dean?" nakita ko ang pagkawala ng irita sa mukha ni Angelo roon, sabay kaming napasulyap sa higaan at napatayo ako kaagad nang makitang gising na siya.
"Stacy!" I gasped and sighed, touching her face. "A-are you okay, baby? What happened to you? Are you hurt?"
"Mama Philie..." she whispered and smiled, even trying to sit but Angelo stopped her.
"No, Stacy. Stay there, please don't force yourself to sit. We're just here." Angelo said gently.
"Papa Dean..." she called again, her voice turned softer, "P-papa, miss you po."
My eyes sting when I heard it, nakita ko ang paglambot ng mata ng asawa ko sa narinig bago siya bumaling sa akin, tila nawawala at 'di alam ang sasabihin kaya tumango ako sa kanya at ngumiti, binibigyan ng assurance na magiging ayos lang kaya ngumiti siya sa bata at inabot ang kamay nito.
"Papa Dean misses you too, young miss." He said and caressed her small hand, "are you happy seeing me?"
"Opo, Papa..." she nodded and smiled weakly. "S-si Mama Philie po l-lagi ko po nakikita. Ikaw din po, Papa, kaso hindi mo bibisita si Stacy."
My heart fell, nakita ko ang kung ano sa mata ni Gelo bago siya mas lumapit kay Stacy, pinipisil ang kamay nito bago hagkan ang kanyang noo.
"I'm sorry, baby. Papa Dean's sick so I really couldn't come close to you." He explained as gentle as he could and it made me smile, thinking that despite his coldness, he has a spot with kids and he's good with it.
"Mama," tawag sa akin ni Stacy kaya binalingan ko siya. "Mama, Papa Dean is sick po?"
"Oh, yes." I said gently, "ayaw naman ni Papa Dean na mahawa ikaw at ang mga kasama mo kaya hindi muna siya lumalapit. Ngayon, Papa is doing better, right, Gelo? Kaya pwede mo na silang bisitahin?"
"Yes, I'm doing good." He gave out a small smile, making him looked more handsome. "I'm gonna visit you everyday, hanggang sa gumaling ka."
"K-kasama po si Mama Philie?" she asked in a small voice and Gelo glanced my way kaya unti-unti akong tumango at ngumiti.
"Of course, with Mama Philie." I said gently, "I won't go here without Papa Dean, hmm?"
I saw how glee filled her innocent and soft eyes.
Sinamahan namin siya ni Gelo kahit mag-gagabi na. I even fed her foods for her dinner while Angelo's playing with her hair, trying to tie her hair but failing miserably.
"Mama Philie knew how to tie my hair just fine po, Papa." She said, "ikaw din po, medyo, 'di ba? Nakalimutan niyo na po?"
I chuckled when Angelo glanced my way like he's lost kaya binalingan ko si Stacy.
"Yes, Papa Dean forgot to somehow...tie your hair." I smiled, "but he'll learn it again, I will teach him para susuklayan niya ang hair mo."
"Okay po!" she chirped and glanced at Angelo. "Papa, may question po pala ako?"
"Yes, young miss?"
"'Di ba po, love na love mo si Mama Philie?" my heart thumped upon hearing it, lalo na nang balingan ako ni Angelo.
I was expecting him not to answer but he did.
"So much, Stacy." He said while staring at me, as if it was my Gelo before. "Of course, I love her." Nagbaba siya ng tingin pabalik sa bata.
"What about Stacy po? Love mo po 'ko, Papa?"
"Of course, young miss." Angelo smiled and pinched her cheek. "Kaya papagaling ka, kasi ipapasyal kita sa kung saan mo gusto."
"Yehey!" she chirped, "kapag gagaling na po ako Papa Dean, p'wede po ba kayo na magpakasal po ulit ni Mama?"
I was stunned upon hearing that that I couldn't even speak.
Nagbukas ang kwarto at ngumiti sa akin si Phoebe at tumango, sinasabing okay lang at chineck ang mga nakakabit kay Stacy na aparato.
"Hmm?" Angelo hummed.
"Kasi po, papaalam ka po sa akin noong dati po na papakasal ka po kay Mama Philie sa malayo kasi po doon po kayo nag-meet. Gusto mo ako sama kaso bawal po malayo kaya po pagdating niyo nag-promise ka pong marry po kayo ulit ni Mama tapos ako po ang flower girl."
Nahulog ang luha ko nang marinig iyon, nakita ko ang pagsulyap sa akin ni Angelo kaya dali-dali kong hinawi ang luha ko.
"I...I said that?" he asked the little kid.
"Opo..." she nodded obediently, "sabi mo po marry mo po ulit si Mama dito po para pwede po akong magsaboy-saboy po ng flowers."
Angelo's mouth parted a little, glancing my way kaya kinagat ko ang labi para 'di niya makita ang reaksyon ko.
"Of course, Papa Dean would marry your Mama Philie again, Stacy." Biglang nagsalita si Phoebe kaya bumaling sa kanya ang bata.
"Talaga po, Tita Phoebe?!"
"Opo," she grinned, "you know, Father Jack is in the chapel tonight, want to watch them getting married again?"
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi ni Phoebe kaya binalingan ko siya, umiiling pero natigil nang magsalita na si Stacy.
"Yehey! Yehey! Stacy is a flower girl!" she chirped in happiness at mabilis ang nangyari, miski ako'y parang lutang nang pinilit ako ni Phoebe na magpalit ng isang puting dress.
Angelo's wearing a formal wear kaya 'di na siya nagpalit.
"Mama, I made this po with the kids earlier." I lowered my head when Stacy asked me to, nakita ko ang pag-angat niya ng isang bilog na flower crown at inilagay sa ulo ko.
"Wow..." I said in amazement.
"Super pretty ni Mama ko!" she said happily and smiled kaya niyakap ko na siya at hinalikan ang pisngi.
Phoebe took care of everything that fast, si Castiel ay dumating din, inaabutan ako ng pumpon ng bulaklak kaya natawa na ako.
"What's this, Tiel?"
"Your bestfriend forced me to illegally plucked flowers for you." He smirked, making me laugh. "And of course, flowers for our pretty Stacy here." He gave her a basket of fresh flower petals.
Tila lumilipad at wala pa ako sa sarili sa nangyayaring biglaang kasal kuno na sinimulan nila. With Stacy's doctor permission, she was all smiles while throwing the petals on the small chapel.
"Ready, bestfriend?" natawa pa ako sa sinabing iyon ni Cairis na parang speed ata sa sobrang bilis makarating dito nang malamang may ganitong ganap ngayong gabi.
"Ready..." I whispered and a soft song played when we got inside.
The chapel's dim yet the fresh flowers' scent invading my nostrils. The priest is at the back of the mini altar and waiting for me in the other end of it is my husband, Dean Angelo Samaniego is his fresh suit, looking so handsome as I look at him.
He didn't have that much reaction unlike before but seeing him right now...waiting for me, it gave me nostalgia.
A sweet smile left my lips when I saw the happiness reflection in Stacy's eyes, amazed of what's happening.
This is for you, Stacy.
Nang makarating sa maliit na altar at nakangisi si Tiel, he was even the one to lift Gelo's hand in the air to take mine while Phoebe's taking pictures around, giggling with the mini event she planned.
We had no one else here but us, my friends, the priest and Stacy—with her nurse.
When I touched my husband's hand, it was cold. Nang sulyapan ko siya ay nakita ko ang pagtingin niya sa paligid at pag-o-obserba kaya nilapitan ko na at binulungan.
"Gelo, sorry for dragging you to this." I whispered and caressed his hand. "If...if you didn't like this then we can end—"
"I'm only doing this for Stacy, Philomena." Aniya at bumaling sa bata. "She wanted to see this and let's do it for her."
Medyo kumirot ang dibdib ko roon pero maliit na ngiti ang ibinigay ko sa kanya bago kami lumapit sa pari na may ngiti na sa mga labi.
He did like what most weddings are doing, the talk, the quick sermon and all. Unfortunately, before we could even get to the vows, Stacy had to leave since her doctor said she shouldn't stay late at night kaya naiwan kaming iilan dito.
We could actually end it but we were all shy to say that to the priest we even bothered late at night so we stayed and continued the ceremony.
Angelo's quiet the whole time but I can notice his eyes staring at me from time to time, tila malalim ang iniisip at nawawala sa sarili niyang mundo.
When the vows came, I was nervous. Hinubad ko kanina ang wedding ring namin ni Gelo at dahil nasa akin naman ang kanya ay magkasama iyon. It was Phoebe who gave us the rings and my hands are trembling as I looked at my husband's eyes.
"Angelo," I started off and smiled. "It wasn't long ago when I first told you my vows. That's just two months ago, I guess."
He stared intently at me, like he can see through me and it made my smile more genuine this time.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Gelo. I know it was hard and tough. You couldn't even remember me now and it hurts but I know we can make this through. I just wanted to you to know that you're the best. Best boyfriend, husband and companion. You knew me well, Gelo and for the years we've been together, we remained strong kaya ngayong nandito tayo sa lagay na 'to—isa lang ang pangako ko sa 'yo."
I took his hand, I was even trembling when I held it but I stared at his eyes and heaved a deep and relaxing sigh.
"Dean Angelo Samaniego, mahal na mahal kita. Hindi mo man maalala, hindi mo man ako matandaan—ang mga pinagsamahan natin at mga ala-ala, sasamahan kita. For better or for worse, I promise you I'll be here. I'll hold your hand while we're in this path, I'll hold your hand 'til you reached our home again. I'll never leave you, I'll stay with you no matter what, no matter how hard and painful it will get.
"I'll always be here, babe, until I became your home again." I smiled gently, "this is my vow to you."
With my trembling hands and unshed tears of happiness, I lifted the gold band and again, attempted to cage his finger with the ring he once wore but before I could even let him wear it fully, he spoke.
"No..." I was stunned, hearing that. Gulo akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya at nakita ko ang naguguluhang mga mata niya. "I'm sorry...no."
"G-Gelo..." my voice broke.
"I can't...I won't marry you again." He said and pulled his hand from my grip, turning his back on me and walked away, just as the same moment I heard the dropping of his ring on the ground, as if it was broken like glass, wounding me—hurting me that I couldn't even feel something anymore.
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